Before I delve into this week’s Leftist batshittery, I do want to apologize for going into another immigration piece. I didn’t plan for it, but it just so happened birthright citizenship exploded last week, so I felt it needed some attention. Going forward I will do my best to vary the topics and give my slightly undercooked takes and marginal humor a chance to bore you with more variety.
So until then, let’s dive right in!
Immigration has provided America with a rich tapestry of cultures and traditions because we have opened our arms to so many people throughout the years. Even with this, many immigrants (and recent visitors, for that matter) have grown to love our little country and want to be more like us. As a result, these people assimilate to our culture.
Which Leftists don’t like, yet claim every immigrant assimilates to our country and culture. So, I figured we’re due for a little lesson in assimilation.
assimilation
What the Left thinks it means – what every immigrant does
What it really means – what some immigrants do, but not enough
At the turn of the 20th Century, we had an influx of immigrants looking to start a new life in America. This started a concept called the American melting pot where these multiple cultures came together to make our country stronger.
Well, except for the Irish. They had a slightly less cordial greeting in some sections.
For the most part, America remained a melting pot for generations, with each new one assimilating to our culture while Americans adopted some of the cultural aspects of the old world, as it were. It didn’t mean these new Americans abandoned their old ways; they integrated those ways into the American experience.
Then, somewhere in the late 20th Century, some people got it in their heads that being American wasn’t all that great and that the best way to become an American was to force the people here to adopt your ways. I think it might have been Jerry Lewis. Or Menudo.
Regardless of who started the idea that assimilation wasn’t necessary to be an American, it started the expectation that America would bend over backwards to welcome them. And by expectation, I mean demand. Before you could say “Habla Ingles” we started seeing government documents written in multiple languages, having to press 2 to continue in English, and other signs that the people coming into the country had no interest in assimilating to our country. That’s not just a dick move, but as we’ve seen in the past year or so, it’s becoming deadly.
On the other hand, Americans are expected to assimilate to the norms of foreign countries even when on vacation. And if we don’t, we’re called “ugly Americans.” Speaking as an ugly American, I say I was born looking this way, so back off man!
But more to the point, these foreign countries have a point. Even if it’s for a short period, we should try to blend in as much as we can.
Let’s say I’m moving to France for my retirement. (To the French people reading this, I’m not actually coming, so you don’t have to pull out your surrender flags.) Before I even filled out my change of address card, the very least I would do is learn to speak French. After all, it’s hard to pantomime you have to take a shit without people looking at you funny.
Not that I know anything about that, mind you…
Along with picking up the native language, I would pick up as much of the French and local culture as I could to make sure I could function. Sure, I might still get called an ugly American, but at least I made the effort.
Is that so much to ask of people coming to America?
Apparently it is because to many (especially on the Left) adapting your original culture in favor of the American culture is betrayal. And the Left is more than willing to enable you to defy norms (and not just the guy from “Cheers” or the late Mr. Macdonald). After all, your culture is bound to be better than ours right?
Not so much.
For all of its faults, America is the place to be. I don’t see too many people trying to escape America to head to Cuba, CODEPINK notwithstanding. And let’s face it, those who would are dumbasses, so we would actually gain by losing. The only downside is Cuba may haul us before The Hague for war crimes by sending too many dumbass Leftists (but I repeat myself) to their country.
If we want more immigrants to want to assimilate, we have to lean into the fact America is pretty awesome. So, maybe we make some changes to the current immigration policy, which makes less sense than a Kamala Harris speech.
I’m not big on loyalty oaths, but I am big on Ameri-countability Buddies! That’s right, kids, every immigrant gets an America to keep tabs on them to acclimate our new proto-Americans to what we have to offer. This will be a 12 month commitment, but it’s essential to help them go from new kid in town to pure 100% USDA grade A Murkan.
The Ameri-countability Buddy will work with the immigrants to help them get on their feet with mastering the language, or at least getting them to the point they can hold a longer conversation than “I’ll take a #5 Burger Meal with a Coke.” Within that 12 months, the Ameri-countability Buddy will help the new immigrants find gainful employment, a home of their own, how to find and utilize civic and mercantile entities, and give them a sense of what is means to be American.
But it’s not all work! Once a month, the immigrant and the Ameri-countability Buddy get to go to a quintessentially American experience. Like monster truck rallies. Of course, we’ll kick in a few bucks to help things along because Murka. There will be opportunities for cross-cultural exchanges because assimilation requires a willingness on both sides of the ledger to share joy, company, and food.
So how does one become an Ameri-countabilty Buddy? It’s simple. You have to meet a few conditions.
1. You must love America.
2. You can’t be a Leftist. (Although I’m pretty sure number 1 would weed out most of them.)
3. You must be willing to open your home to an immigrant.
As far as the immigrants are concerned, we have a few conditions as well.
1. You must want to be an American.
2. No criminal behavior or you get a ride in the Deportation Catapult with a helmet, pads, and a pillow.
3. You must be willing to share your culture with us while adopting ours in the process.
Pretty simple, really. This is only a rough draft at this point (mainly because we’re still trying to get the patent on the Deportation Catapult), but it’s a good start.
Look, I know assimilation is a hard road, but if you’re driven to become an American, it’s worth it. We have people on waiting lists around the world wanting to live here even for a couple of years. If that doesn’t tell you how awesome America is as a country, nothing will.
Plus, we kick ass when it comes to fast food.
Author: Thomas
I'm a writer and a ranger and a young boy bearing arms. And two out of the three don't count.
Leftist Lexicon Word of the Week
To put it mildly, the US Supreme Court has been at the center of a lot of controversy over the past few decades. From the various rulings around Roe v Wade to however the fuck Ketanji Brown Jackson got a seat with the High Court while simultaneously being one-tenth of a halfwit, it’s a miracle there aren’t more protests.
After the recent rulings about birthright citizenship, though, there might be a few more coming down the pike. Immigration debates are already highly charged in the first place, and the Right hoped the 6-3 conservative majority would rule the practice would go the way of former President Brick Tamland’s sway over the Left.
Wellllll…it didn’t go that way. In Trump v Barbara, the Supreme Court voted 6-3 to strike President Trump’s Executive Order banning birthright citizenship. The Left were happy in spite of convincing themselves the court would uphold it. The Right were unhappy because they thought the 6-3 majority would guarantee it.
As for me…well, I have a headache thinking about the concept, so in lieu of aspirin, I decided to look into it further.
You’re welcome…I guess.
birthright citizenship
What the Left thinks it means – a way for newborns from foreign parents to become American citizens that should be maintained
What the Right thinks it means – a way for newborns from illegal immigrant parents to become American citizens that should be eliminated
What it really means – a simple idea complicated by politics
So, we’re all on the same page before moving into the sexy part of this controversy, we have to define what birthright citizenship actually is. Basically, it’s the idea if you’re born on American soil, that makes you an American. That’s going to piss off more than a few Leftists, but that’s not important right now. The crux of the idea comes from the 14th Amendment, which states in part as follows:
All persons born or naturalized in the United States, and subject to the jurisdiction thereof, are citizens of the United States and of the State wherein they reside. No State shall make or enforce any law which shall abridge the privileges or immunities of citizens of the United States; nor shall any State deprive any person of life, liberty, or property, without due process of law; nor deny to any person within its jurisdiction the equal protection of the laws.
Seems pretty straightforward, right? And it was for a lot of years until someone got it in his/her (still 2 genders for those of you playing along at home) head that this would cover the children of illegal immigrants. And based on a plain reading of the 14th Amendment, I can’t find fault with that conclusion from a logical standpoint.
Until we add that little thing the kids today like to call context. The author of the section of the 14th Amendment quoted above was a man named John Bingham. His history prior to writing the 14th Amendment is interesting, so you might want to read about it using this link. For those who don’t, let me break it down.
Bingham saw racial injustice towards blacks and wanted to end it through targeted legislation. He failed at first, but eventually got it done.
Now, what does this have to do with the current state of birthright citizenship? Glad you asked because if not I would have had to come up with something witty to put here, and we know how well that works!
In his speech introducing the 14th Amendment, Bingham anticipated how future/current generations would try to adapt it to their needs, but focused primarily on how it would impact blacks, who had just experienced a painful history of being treated as less than human. Although this is a limited focus, it’s essential to understanding the context. Bingham didn’t want this to become a means for states to treat blacks as non-citizens under their laws, but a baseline for Congress to enact new laws to expand on the concepts within the Amendment. And they did.
And then they didn’t when it came to illegal immigration.
This is when President Trump took action, and when the Left lost their collectivist minds. One Supreme Court decision later, and here we are.
You may be asking “Thomas, what do you think of the decision?” You may also be asking “Thomas, why are you dressed like Ernest Borgnine in a tutu?” First off, don’t kink-shame me. Second of all, how did you get in my house?
But to answer the first question, as much as it will piss off the Right, the Supreme Court made the right decision, kinda. Here’s what I mean.
Section 5 of the 14th Amendment reads as follows:
The Congress shall have power to enforce, by appropriate legislation, the provisions of this article.
As the big fan of the Constitution as I am, I can see the fundamental flaw with this section, namely being the Executive Branch is the enforcement arm of the government. Having said that, the 14th Amendment puts the onus on Congress to enforce it, so unfortunately any enforcement of the provisions falls on them.
Which means they’ll get around to it by the time we celebrate America’s 300th birthday.
The Executive Order President Trump made circumvented the process established with the 14th ratification. It asserted the power of the Executive Branch to do the job it’s been doing since 1787, but it also violated the Constitution, leading to the Supreme Court decision and the subsequent freakout.
The dissents on Trump v Barbara are worth reading if you have the time and a lot of coffee and truck stop speed because the history lesson and intent were laid out pretty thoroughly. You might want to read Justice Jackson’s dissent if only for the comedic concept that she calls out Justice Clarence Thomas by name to try to give him a dressing down. That’s like Dylan Mulvaney calling out Danny Trejo for not being as badass as he is.
So, what happens now? A lot of bitching and moaning without anything getting done. At the very least, Trump allies in Congress have a path forward to write legislation to address birthright citizenship. The problem is time is short, the problem continues to grow, and Leftists will call them racist. So, any Tuesday on Capitol Hill, pretty much.
To me, the concept of birthright citizenship has merit, but it also has a loophole that allows people to abuse it. Until that loophole gets fixed through the aforementioned legislative action, it’s going to continue to be a problem. It also raises a point about how far Constitutional provisions extend to illegal immigrants. Even as I write this, I see numerous touchpoints that intersect with birthright citizenship.
What’s the solution? I got nothing. We have allowed politicians to warp the Constitution so this matter can’t be undone without a lot of work, a united front willing to discuss it, and the courage to fix it once and for all so the loophole is closed tighter than a little black dress.
Well, I’m off to my cryogenic chamber to wait for the day this happens. Wake me when shit goes down.
America the Still Pretty Nifty
America turned 250, and you don’t look a day over 249!
Many, many years ago, your humble correspondent wrote a piece called “America the Pretty Nifty” which has been lost to time, and probably for the best. From what I can remember of it, it was a combination of a genuine appreciation for my country and occasional humorous and culturally relevant asides.
You know, like this, but funnier.
Although I’ve gotten older (as have my jokes), I still haven’t lost my love for America. Granted, when it comes to America, I’m a bit of a “homer” as the sports-minded might say. The most exotic location I’ve traveled to outside our borders was…Canada, which is basically Minnesota with more donut places. (By the way, Tim Horton’s kicks butt!)
But aside from my homertude, I can see a lot of good things about America. And, yes, I see we have some work to do, but like I did when I first broached the subject the plusses outweigh the minuses.
For example, America still has at least a concept of free speech, even if we don’t always practice it well. Still, we have it, among many other rights outlined in the Bill of Rights, the US Constitution, and if you can believe it, the secret recipe for KFC chicken. (Which is like saying Kentucky Fried Chicken chicken, but work with me here.) There are people in Europe getting in trouble for speaking out against immigration among other issues who could really benefit from our freedom of speech.
Connected to freedom of speech is freedom of the press. Granted, most of the press are pretty much stenographers for the Left, but for those handful of journalists who still understand the difference between a news article and an op-ed, it’s good we have it.
And speaking of the Left, we have a healthy-ish political system that welcomes the Left, the Right, and every ideology in between. Now, if we could only figure out how to get better quality politicians…
As we’ve seen from numerous online videos from Europeans visiting for the World Cup, we still have things the rest of the world doesn’t. Like truck stops that double as mini malls. And WalMarts. And food that shortens your life, but leaves you with a smile on your face as you see St. Peter.
Which brings us (albeit indirectly) to American health care. People talk about how bad it is (and that’s not without reason), but there’s only one Mayo Clinic, where people from around the world come and get exceptional care. Throw in Johns Hopkins, the Centers for Disease Control (as long as Dr. Fauci is required to stay at least 1000 feet from the entrance), MIT, and many other medical and technological institutions of higher learning.
And people willingly come here for that kind of education because it has heft to it. Sure, you may be able to get your medical degree from the University of South Padre Island and Spay and Neuter Clinic, but you’ll lose out on every job opportunity from someone who came to America and got the same degree.
I’m a driver at heart, and one of the best things about America is its scenery. Whether you’re traveling down the historic Route 66 or making your way through the Heartland on a two-lane highway, there are some amazing vistas to be seen if you take the time to appreciate them.
And then there are the cities! Such bustling hubs of commerce where you can buy everything from legal firearms and illegal drugs, often from the same people. Now that’s convenience, kids!
One of the most fascinating aspects of America is we don’t have a single national identity, per se. At the beginning of the 20th Century, America became a melting pot where different cultures added to our mutt-like existence. As of today, we still have that. Not everyone who comes here integrates into the culture as much as others, but those who do make us richer by extension.
And that explains why there are different “vibes” throughout the country. If you like an active, edge-of-a-knife lifestyle, there’s New York City. If you’re into more mellowness, there’s Southern California. If you want a more sylvan environment, head to the Pacific Northwest. Mountains, prairies, valleys, deserts, swamps, we have it all and then some!
And perhaps the best part of America? We can disagree on how great America is! I know there’s a segment of our population who absolutely hates everything about America and thinks if we did things their way we would be far better. We call these people Leftists, and we can make fun of them to our hearts’ content. And I do as frequently as I can! Try doing that in China. Not only will you be hungry and hour later, but you might find yourself in prison or worse.
That’s right. I’m talking about a one-way ticket to UC Berkeley.
No matter what the naysayers nay-say, I love America because it’s one of the best places in the world. I mean, we have two Disney-named theme parks, and the rest of the world has…well, they have a couple more, but the point is they wouldn’t have had their if we didn’t start the trend.
And who does the world call on to fix things around the globe? Here’s a hint: it ain’t France.
Happy 250th America!
Leftist Lexicon Word of the Week
Remember when Leftists got their hate boners for Donald Trump after 2021 which resulted in legal proceedings that would make even Matlock say “fuck it”? Well, now that Trump’s President again, Leftists aren’t so keen on their tactics coming back on them.
This week (check local listings for the week in your area), California Governor and 80s movie villain stand-in Gavin Newsom and his wife got the business end of a Department of Justice investigation into “tax-related conduct.” Of course, Leftists including Newsom himself have complained about the weaponization of government agencies against them. And the Right has complained about the same thing under President Brick Tamland’s inept leadership.
So, let’s talk about it!
weaponization
What the Left thinks it means – using the power of the government to punish and oppress people
What it really means – a course of action that won’t end well
Over the past 20-30 years, politics has become one big pissing contest between Democrats and Republicans. Whenever one party does something the other doesn’t like, the other party takes time to do something to the first party doesn’t like in retaliation.
Actually, let me take that back. It’s not a pissing contest; it’s an acrimonious divorce.
Regardless, the Left took it to a new level after the 2020 election. No longer content to just launch investigations into Donald Trump’s dealings and what he did during his first Administration. They made it a point to use the legal system against him. In the short run, they were successful in getting the former (and current) President convicted on 34 felony counts on a case flimsier than a cheap toilet paper nightie. Then, there was the Georgia election interference case where the prosecution was more like a soap opera than a serious legal team.
And then in 2024, all that lawfare went to shit because Trump got reelected.
Now, I’m not a psychologist (but I did stay at a Holiday Inn Express last night), but I’d have to say being targeted by the legal system with the Left cheering each and every decision might give Trump a chip on his shoulder the size of the Rock of Gibraltar. And with him not exactly being the “forgive and forget” type, you would have to be a fucking moron to think he wouldn’t try to get one back on the Left.
And as it turns out, the Left are fucking morons.
Back when the Left started weaponizing the judical system against Trump and his followers, I told some Left-leaning friends of mine it was a bad idea because it would come back to haunt them. And, surprise surprise, they could star in a remake of “Poltergeist” because it did. Instead of saying “we fucked up” though, they’re stuck whining about weaponizing the federal government against them.
To be fair, they may have a point, and this time it’s not on their heads. It’s never a good idea for the federal government to go after political enemies under any circumstances. The fact Lois Lerner was allowed to do that and still walks free sticks in my craw like you wouldn’t believe. Or maybe you would. I don’t want to speak out of turn.
Where the Left’s point gets blunted is when the investigations are related to actual wrong-doing, not just having the word “patriot” on your non-profit application. In this case, Newsom and his wife may be guilty of breaking tax law in relation to non-profits they’ve supported.
Of course Newsom is telling people it’s because Trump is trying to scare him away from running for President. But if I may give you some advice, Gav (I’ll call you “Gav” because it’s the tamest thing I could call you), it’s probably the fucking taxes.
But that doesn’t play well in San Francisco, so Newsom and the Left will play it off as weaponization. After all, it will continue the “Trump is out to get us” narrative, which will allow them to play victim (even if they’re nowhere near the epicenter of the shit show). After all, if he can do it to Newsom, he can do it to anybody, right?
Yes, yes he can. And so can you.
That’s why I have the same amount of sympathy towards the Left on his matter than I have fucks to give: zero. You Leftists got a short term victory that wound up meaning less than the box office gross of “Medea Goes to the Gynecologist.” Trump won, mainly because your choices were a doddering old man who more forgetful than I am after a bender with Willie Nelson and a woman who was more one-dimensional and vapid as most Hollywood starlets.
Put another way, you fucked yourselves because you thought there was no way for Trump to get back into office. How’s that working out for you, assholes?
Now, having said all that, I do have to warn both major parties this kind of back and forth shit doesn’t end well for anyone, and it has to stop before this war of words turns into a war with weapons. Folks, things are getting chippy out there between people who want to start shit and people who are waiting for shit to go down so they can fuck up their enemies, real or otherwise. I’ve felt America has been on the verge of another civil war (since the last one worked out so well) for quite a few years now. And right now, it looks like it’s going to be the DIY guerrilla forces on the Left versus the folks with most of the guns on the Right.
Let’s just say I’m taking the under for the Left to win that one.
In the meantime, I think both sides need to take a step back and realize what they’ve done is undercut the very principles of America. The government is supposed to be of the people, by the people, for the people. Turning the might of the federal government against the people without just cause only makes it harder for the country to operate because you assholes will just keep investigating each other.
Come to think of it, that may not be such a bad idea after all. Carry on!
What Makes a Good Ally?
Happy Pride Month to anyone who celebrates it! (Please check local listings for the month in your area.) Because it’s that time of year again, thoughts inevitably turn to the topic of allyship. In the struggle for gay and trans rights, you need all the allies you can get, right?
Wellllllll…that’s a tricky question. On the surface, it’s pretty simple: do you support gay and trans rights, or are you a homophobic/transphobic asshole? (I said it was simple, not necessarily intellectually honest.) And most of us, I think, would agree people should be treated the same regardless of who they sleep with or identify as to the rest of the world. Especially Gen Xers like your humble correspondent. I care less about who you love than I do how you drive during rush hour.
This is the part that gets tricky. Not every ally is a good one, but if you’re not checking credentials at the main door and the bouncer lets you in anyway, you’re going to wind up like the LGBTQIA+ (or whatever it’s being called this week) is now. Namely, there are some people you’ve allowed in the party who should have been turned away at the door. People who are doing your movement direct harm for personal gain.
And I’m not just talking about Lily Tino here.
One of my Immutable Facts of Politics is the worst enemy of any movement is the movement itself. For the terminally Leftist out there, this means there will come a time when a movement will turn in on itself, creating little factions that compete for control of the movement. My fellow humans of a non-cis lifestyle, the LGBTQIA+ movement has not only reached that point, but had it happen more than a couple of times since I’ve been an adult. Physically, not maturity-wise.
And with every new party that enters the LGBTQIA+ Thunderdome, a new message comes out. We’ve gone from gays wanting to live their lives without being oppressed (which I’m totally cool with) to wanting gays and lesbians to get married (still totally cool with it) to protections for gays and lesbians against hatred (kinda cooling on the being cool with it because of the potential for misapplication) to including trans rights (now we’re getting away from the message) to trans rights being the most important part of the LGBTQIA+ movement (now you’ve lost me).
It seems with every iteration of the movement, we’re seeing less and less common ground to the point you’re starting to scare off the normies. That’s not a good thing. The way to gain acceptance is to not scare off the normies so we can see you as people, not as cartoonish villains with great fashion sense. (Kidding! I kid!)
People like the aforementioned Ms. Tino, Dylan Mulvaney, and others are doing more to hurt the cause than help it. Sure, they bring a lot of attention to trans rights, but it’s mostly negative attention. And if you peer behind the veneer a bit, you notice their motivations aren’t on a grand scale; it’s all about them. The movement takes a back seat when they’re in the spotlight, and they don’t seem to understand if normies get the “ick” from their antics, it’s not due to transphobia. It’s because they’re creepy as hell.
And it goes beyond the trans side of the movement, too. Pride parades have long been a source of concern, even with more gay-friendly people like your humble correspondent. There’s a reason the Right paints Pride parades as shameful Kink-apalooza events: it’s because there are members of the community who treat it like that. Whether it’s drag queen story hours or burly men in leather chaps who may or may not be wearing appropriate undergarments, the movement keeps shooting itself in the feet with a Gatling Gun and blaming homophobia/transphobia. Granted, some of it can be traced to that, but for the most part it’s not. It’s just we need more to go on than what gets the most attention because if that’s what most people see, that’s what they’re going to assume is the norm.
Outside of the movement, you have allies from all walks of life. The issue becomes when alliance moves into enabler territory, which brings us to…I don’t want to call them Karens because all of the Karens I personally know are good people…let’s call them Wine Mom-Americans. These are white women of a certain age caught in what I can only describe is Adolescence 2.0 where being catty is always in vogue and they make the NSA look like Boo Radley with their noses in places they have no business being.
Like the LGBTQIA+ movement.
Wine Mom-Americans treat the movement in terms of what they will get by being pro-LGBTQIA+. Read that carefully, kids. They are in it for themselves, not for the betterment of the people they claim to support.
Take Samantha Richardson, also known as Living Richardson online. To put it mildly, she is a classic narcissist. And by classic, I mean overbearing. She is an outspoken supporter of the LGBTQIA+ movement, but her sentiments have an I problem. To save you the click, here is the text of her June 1st Pride message:
HAPPY PRIDE MONTH 🌈
As a mom, advocate, and human being, I want my children to grow up in a world where people are judged by the content of their character and for not who they love, how they identify, or whether they fit into someone else’s idea of “normal.”
Pride is about visibility, belonging, and recognizing that for many people, simply being themselves has never been easy.
This month, and every month, I’ll continue to support a future where everyone has the right to live openly, safely, and authentically.
Be the you you’ve always been. Proudly. ❤️🧡💛💚💙💜
#pride
Sure, she says all the right things to appear to be an ally, but there’s definitely a “look at me being an ally” vibe there. And because it’s not about the movement so much as it is about being the center of attention, people like Ms. Richardson will justify anything so long as she can still be seen as an ally.
That, ladies and gentlemen, is classic enabling behavior.
And, as cool as it sounds to have someone like her let you do what you want without judgment, you kinda need to have someone tell you to stop and think about whether your momentary freedom will result in a harder road later on. Unfortunately, I don’t think there are a lot of people willing to say “Whoa” when the movement is heading for a rhetorical brick wall.
Or, in some cases, lobbying for people who would throw you off a brick wall from a great height.
Seriously? Queers for Palestine? That’s like supporting PETA while working at a kill shelter. But I’m sure PETA would never let that happen…oh, wait…
Looking for struggle buddies who want to kill you isn’t going to help the movement and will (and already has) caused members of your community to meet a gruesome end. But, hey, liberation for a group that wants to kill you won’t totally backfire on you and will only result in those people who want to kill you to take up for your cause, amirite?
Here’s the bottom line. If you want to really see a day when nobody cares who you love, you have to give the normies something to work with here. And that starts with recognizing the difference between allies and enablers, and between people who support the cause for selfless reasons and people who support the cause for selfish reasons.
I volunteer to be the ally you need right now. I don’t care who you love, but I will also be there to keep you from going down a path that will make your lives harder. My goal is simple: I want you to be happy, partially because happy people tend not to shoot up schools, but mostly because I love to see people who aren’t me loving life. There’s enough messed up stuff in the world that we need to all have some joy in our lives, and even though I’m straight (or cis if you prefer) I see you as people, not as labels.
There are a few caveats, like not being a jerk, but I’ll let you do you if you extend me the same courtesy. Oh, and don’t ask me to pay for it. You don’t need my sanction nor my wallet to do you. Besides, the economic prosperity of the LGBTQIA+ community makes me consider switching sides, but then I have to break it to my wife and that’s going to be a thing.
Anyway, I wish you the best this month. If current conditions continue, you’re going to need all the good vibes you can get.
Leftist Lexicon Word of the Week
The eyes of the world (or at least the part of the world that cared about this) were on the nation-state of Texas and the Karmelo Anthony trial. If you’ve been living under a rock (which may not be such a bad thing these days), Anthony was accused of murdering Austin Metcalf in April of last year. In a decision that took less time than a PBS pledge break, the jury convicted Anthony, with a sentence of 35 years in prison with the possibility of parole after 17.
Although this piece isn’t about the death penalty, let me make myself crystal clear: any time a murderer gets even a little amount of time at the Gray Bar Hotel, he or she beats the rap. Sure, prison isn’t exactly the Ritz Carlton, but every breath taken by the perp is an insult to the victim and his/her family.
One of the more interesting aspects to the trial was introducing the concept of self-defense as a legal argument. Typically Leftists treat self-defense like it’s a job application, but they occasionally toss it out there in the hopes they can convince a jury, legal or of public opinion, the alleged perp didn du nuthin. But, it’s still worth a gander.
Or a goose if you’d prefer.
self-defense
What the Left thinks it means – an unnecessary tool used by the right wing to justify killing people in cold blood
What it really means – one of the fundamental rights we have, and one the Left wants to remove
I’ve said it before, but I’ll say it again: The Left is all about control over our lives. From their economic policies to their domestic policies, they want to have a say in whatever we do. We got a really good look at what that’s like during COVID by watching how Democrat Governors handled lockdowns.
Spoiler Alert: It fucking sucked.
But there was one positive that came out of it, namely we got to see what Leftists like Gavin “I Have the Hair of an 80s Movie Villain” Newsom, Gretchen “The Gretch Who Stole Christmas” Whitmer, and Andrew “I Didn’t Know Putting COVID Patients With Old People Would End So Badly” Cuomo let their masks (figurative and literal) slip to show what their endgame was. They were amongst the first to institute strict lockdown procedures and amongst the last to lessen those procedures when COVID started winding down.
Oh, and memo to Taylor Lorenz. You can take off the mask now. You look like an idiot, and this time not because of what you say or write.
The Left has the same fascination with control when it comes to self-defense. If they can’t force you to become victims, they will punish you through laws, regulations, and general dumbfuckery. Look at how they push for more gun laws when the existing ones aren’t stopping people from shooting others. It’s their standard MO, like “thoughts and prayers” but with more forms to fill out.
It should come as no surprise the blue states have the strictest gun laws in the country. Yet, these gun laws don’t result in lower gun-related death rates, with blue states recording some pretty high numbers. So, why would Leftists continue to push for more gun laws?
They’re dumbfucks.
Oh, and they want to control people’s lives.
But this goes beyond whether Jethro in Pigfuck, Arkansas or J’wan in New York City wants to pack heat. It can come down to whether Jethro or J’wan can protect himself/herself at a moment’s notice if the situation arises. And with the police being minutes away in most cases (if they even show up at all), that firearm may be the only thing saving Jethro and J’wan from getting robbed or worse.
To give a little grace, 911 can only respond so quickly, and they’re acting as a middle man to alert the police, but they don’t pass any savings onto you. Instead, it makes the possibility of the police showing up just in time to catch the robber smaller than the chances Hunter Biden starts a rehab clinic. Every second that goes by without law enforcement affects the likelihood of capturing the criminal. A lot of times the only thing working in the police’s favor is how fucking stupid the perps are. Not a sucker’s bet by any stretch of the imagination, but not something I’d be willing to risk a life on.
Aside from trying to pass more laws that criminals will ignore because they’re fucking criminals, what else do Leftists suggest? Let’s take a brief look.
– Shoot a shotgun through the door
– Call 911 and then hide or escape until the police show up. But they also say the police are racist and need to be defunded.
– If someone breaks into your house, offer to help them rebuild his/her life.
– Focus on prevention.
– Blame Republicans (naturally)
And these tactics work soooo well, Democrats are still victims of crime from carjackings to home invasions to murder, and many, many more. Being called soft on crime and having attorneys backed by our good friend Uncle George Soros decide not to prosecute actual criminals so they can, surprise surprise, commit more crimes doesn’t help them.
Nor does it help us.
Although the Left is eager to buy the concept of self-defense when it comes to Karmelo Anthony, they aren’t so quick to adopt it when it’s someone they don’t like using it. Just ask Kyle Rittenhouse, who had a legitimate self-defense claim. Even the much-maligned (and justifiably so) George Zimmerman had one. That doesn’t mean the Left has to accept it as legitimate, however. In fact, I’m gonna go out on a limb here and say they would reject most self-defense claims out of hand, except if they see political gain from it or…now this is the weird part, they’re the victims.
I know! I was as shocked as you are.
The point is the Left isn’t going to be a consistent defender of self-defense. Of course you could always self-identify as an oppressed group and watch their heads fucking explode, but there is another way.
Fuck ’em.
Not literally, of course. Never stick your dick in crazy, kids. That goes double for Dylan Mulvaney.
What I mean is you don’t need the Left’s sanction to protect yourself from those who would do you physical, mental, emotional, or fiscal harm. And given how relying on the government to move faster than molasses on a glacier is like relying on Hunter Biden to not do all the crack in a crack den, you’re better off doing it yourself. Take self-defense courses, arm yourself (legally, of course), install cameras, do what you need.
One additional thing I can suggest having lived on the mean streets of a moderately sized Midwestern city, be aware of your surroundings. Know where you are, who is around you, and have at least 2 different means of escaping a bad situation. That alone will help you as much as being strapped.
There is one caveat to any self-defense option you take. You cannot live your life in fear, and yes there is a difference between being afraid and being prepared. Fear is a great motivator, but it motivates you to do the wrong things. Being prepared means you can act calmly and decisively. Most people out there don’t give two fucks about you, or even enough fucks to want to fuck up your life. They’re dealing with the same societal shit you are and may be just as frustrated as you.
This is where you need to show a little humanity if only to spread some light in these dark times. This may seem counterintuitive when dealing with self-defense, but it’s a lot better way to go through life. Being prepared and humane makes you John Wick. Being prepared and anti-social makes you the Punisher. There’s a huge difference, namely in choice of work clothes and vehicles.
In the Karmelo Anthony case, it was a lack of humanity that caused Austin Metcalf’s death and, appropriately enough, negated his self-defense defense. See, the thing about self-defense is you can’t initiate conflict and use it. Call it the “Talk Shit, Get Hit” Principle. Self-defense is always reactionary, which is weird Leftists don’t like it because they’re usually in favor of reactionaries.
Regardless, you don’t have to play by the Left’s rules on this matter. They need you to be victims so they can swoop in and “protect” you via ineffective and illogical laws and enforcement. You don’t have to be one, though. You have the ability to defend yourselves and your loved ones and, even in the bluest of blue states, you’re better off taking a chance on getting arrested than getting killed.
Consider it the ultimate DIY project.
Leftist Lexicon Word of the Week
Since Donald Trump’s second inauguration, there’s been a lot of attention paid to illegal immigration, which is a continuation of Trump’s first inauguration where he paid a lot of attention to…illegal immigration. If I didn’t know any better, I’d say there’s a pattern here…
The latest battleground is at the Delaney Hall ICE facility in Newark, New Jersey. Allegations of poor conditions prompted Leftists to do what they seem to do on the regular these days: bitch and moan. Things got so bad, Mayor Ras Bakara instituted a curfew that was lifted a few days after it was initiated.
So, Summer of Love 2.0 anyone?
Actually, I think a closer look at Delaney Hall might be in order, if for no other reason than to give me something else to write about besides Graham Platner who has a literal Nazi tattoo. Oh, and is a total scumbag.
Delaney Hall
What the Left thinks it means – a horrible place indicative of Trump’s cruel treatment of undocumented aliens
What it really means – an ICE detainment facility that has turned into a focal point of stupidity
Delaney Hall is a relatively new building, but it already has a history which include, surprise surprise, protests. (Hey, if Uncle George Soros is willing to part with some of his cash, I’d be willing to protest full time, too!)
Where things got chippy was during a 2025 “oversight” inspection conducted by Rep. LaMonica McIver and two of her fellow New Jersey Representatives. And by oversight, I mean “making a fucking spectacle of herself,” where Rep. McIver tried to throw hands and wound up catching 3 felony charges for, you know, trying to throw hands at ICE officers.
The fact McIver isn’t trying out for a reboot of “Orange Is the New Black” is beyond me, but it set off a series of stunts where Congresscritters would bypass normal operating procedures and just show up whenever they wanted and expected, nay, demanded entry.
How’d that work out for ya, dipshits?
Not very well, but it created a framework by which Leftists could ratchet up their protests. After all, shouldn’t a Congresscritter be allowed to see the facility using Congressional oversight authority?
Yeaaaaaah. Not really.
Congressional oversight may be broad in nature, but it has to be related to the functions of Congress, not some capricious whim that Leftists thinks covers the powers of the legislature. ICE is a part of the Department of Homeland Security, which puts it in the Executive Branch, as is Customs and Border Protection. The role of Congressional oversight includes making sure laws are being carried out.
You know, like immigration law?
Anyway, the investigative part of Congressional oversight is typically done by having show trials…I mean PR stunts…I mean Congressional hearings. Although, to be fair, I would prefer more listening at these hearings, so calling them “hearings” is a bit misleading.
Much like what’s going on at Delaney Hall.
The Left has to try to make detention centers look and sound like concentration camps because it fits in with their existing “Trump is a Nazi” narrative. The problem? The narrative doesn’t fit the reality. The detainees get decent meals, which is vastly different from what was served at concentration camps. As far as the other allegations of subpar conditions, that’s subject to debate based on Tom Homan’s recent visit to Delaney Hall. Say what you will about the man (and believe me Leftists have said a shit-ton), Homan isn’t exactly the type to sugarcoat anything, especially if it’s bullshit. Just ask the Socialist Socialite.
This brings us to the “who benefits” portion of the program. On the one hand, we have Tom Homan, who admittedly has a vested interest in keeping Delaney Hall open due to his position as Border Czar. On the other hand, we have detainees, prison advocates, and politicians who have a vested interest in shutting down Delaney Hall. Both have reasons to lie or at least distort the truth to protect their positions.
That’s where we have to dig a little deeper and ask why someone on either side of this discussion would lie. Homan has been in law enforcement for decades prior to his current role and has a track record of dealing with illegal immigration. His “why” can be distilled down to wanting to protect his image and/or the Trump Administration. Not necessarily admirable if he lied, but understandable.
The same can’t be said for the detainees, advocates, and politicians, however. The Left has built a Kobayashi Maru (or at least they think they have) by boosting the claims of mistreatment, malnutrition, and medical malpractice. (And with that, I have earned my Unnecessary Alliteration Merit Badge from the Snark Scouts.) The problem? Their claims can’t be verified independently. Consider it Schrodinger’s Detention Facility. If you can’t see the detainees, you can’t tell if they’re being mistreated, but if you do and the detainees aren’t being mistreated, you either have to reject the narrative (rendering it all bullshit from the jump) or you have to perpetuate it (rendering it all bullshit after the jump).
And remember, kids, Leftists are smarter than us. Just ask them.
And, contrary to Leftist squawking points, dropping in unannounced but with a full camera crew and a throng of humanity backing you up isn’t the proper channels to visit Delaney Hall, or any detention facility anywhere. Before you can step foot in a prison, you have a cadre of investigation about facets of your existence that make the TSA look like rubber-stamping paper pushers. What these Congresscritters and their minions want to do is circumvent the rules because…reasons.
That means the detainees, advocates, and politicians all have a vastly different why than Homan. Their why comes down to protecting the power they have and playing hard and fast with established protocols for a political end.
When put that way, the “who benefits” clearly doesn’t bode well for the Left. Granted, Homan may have similar motivations, but he hasn’t tried to make every illegal immigrant into a sob story where he or she just wants a better life.
Kate Steinle was unavailable for comment.
Look, discussing immigration is like tap dancing in a minefield wearing clown shoes, but there are reasons why we have laws on the books. Instead of trying to prevent said laws from being enforced because your fee-fees get hurt, change the fucking laws. Sure, that would require you to win House and Senate elections while maintaining a favorability rating just south of leprosy, but that’s what you signed up for when you were elected.
As far as Delaney Hall’s alleged lack of oversight, let me put it this way. The Trump Administration is under the microscope so much they have glass slides permanently affixed to their asses. If they were truly as horrible as the Left claims, we would know about it because you Leftists wouldn’t shut the fuck up about it.
By the way, Chicken Little called. He wants his bit back.
Even with all that, I still think the Trump Administration should allow Congresscritters and critics to visit Delaney Hall with some conditions I put together.
1. They have to sign a contract binding them to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth under threat of libel/slander.
2. Everyone who goes inside gets an accountabilibuddy to make sure they abide by the terms of the contract.
3. Everyone who goes inside spends a full day inside so they get an actual day in the life.
4. Both the interested party and the accountabilibuddy have to wear bodycams.
5. If the interested party leaves the facility and fails to tell the truth, he/she (still two genders, kids) must get a tattoo on his/her forehead reading “Liar.” The judges would have also accepted “I’m A Dumbass” for people with more forehead space than brains.
6. Public mockery.
Okay, so I threw in that last one because I want it to happen, but you get the picture. The only way to get a true sense of what Delaney Hall is like is to ensure there is as little wiggle room to lie as possible. My humble proposal will go a long way towards getting the transparency necessary to ensure conditions are habitable.
Plus, I want to throw some business to the tattoo artists out there!
Leftist Lexicon Word of the Week
This week’s Lexicon takes us to the Golden State, California. Having solved all of its problems (you know, except for people fleeing the state, rampant homelessness, uncontrolled drug abuse, a lack of leadership from the Governor on down, and more freaks than backstage at a Rick James show), they’re focusing its attention on a serious issue, a scourge on all of decent society that must be kept in check or the world as we know it will end.
That blight on humanity? The Lord Voldemort of 2026?
Nick Shirley.
Yes, that Nick Shirley.
This week, California’s Assembly passed the Stop Nick Shirley Act, a proposed law to protect potential victims of investigative journalists by expanding their existing Safe At Home Program designed to protect victims of domestic abuse. Because being interviewed about alleged fraud is totes equal to domestic abuse.
For you Leftists out there reading this, that was sarcasm.
What isn’t sarcasm is the Stop Nick Shirley Act is the kind of Lexicon topic I can sink my teeth into and enjoy!
the Stop Nick Shirley Act
What the Left thinks it means – a bill that will stop people like Shirley from harassing people in the search for clicks
What it really means – a bill that makes the Left moist in their panties, but betrays their real feelings about a free press
I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again (mainly because this piece would be a lot shorter if I didn’t): I have a healthy respect for the First Amendment, both for personal reasons and as a general principle. A part of that involves freedom of the press, which is essential to a healthy society and government.
Given the current state of journalism, though, we’re as healthy as Rosie O’Donnell and Michael Moore at an all you can eat buffet at Uncle Stinky’s Food Poisoning Emporium and Sewage Treatment Center. (Their slogan: It’s technically food.)
As the mainstream media have turned into DNC Lapdog Central, people started looking for alternatives. I mean, if you heard different TV stations saying the same thing almost to the syllable, you might want to see if someone else has something different to say. Good thing every mainstream media outlet is independent and has a commitment to the truth, amirite?
For any Leftists reading this, that was also sarcasm.
What started out as a little-known and hardly talked-about website called The Drudge Report spawned new interest in the journalism game, and more than a few people jumped at the chance to dig into stories for themselves. Most of them didn’t uncover too much scandal outside of how Mrs. Wickersham is a teetotaler in public, but smokes more pot than Willie Nelson, Cheech and Chong, and Seth Rogan on 4/20 when nobody’s looking.
Then, there is Nick Shirley. Instead of finding a ganj-smoking grandma, he found fraud. A lot of fraud. Although we don’t have a firm and verified total of how much fraud yet, let’s just say it’s more than enough to go to a learning center to learn how to spell “Learning Center.”
Now, most people think uncovering fraud is a good thing. Ah, but Leftists don’t think that way, mainly because they’re guilty of it themselves, enabling it, or a little from Column A and a little from Column B. Regardless, since Shirley made Minnesota Governor and former VP candidate Tim Walz look like, well, Tim Walz, the Left has had a metaphorical hard-on to get Shirley by any means necessary.
After Minnesota, Shirley turned his sights to California, where there’s more hands out than if you cloned Shiva multiple times. Given the Governor is a guy who could have played any dickheaded jock antagonist from any 80s movie (right down to the hairstyle), finding fraud wouldn’t be that hard because, well, the Governor is one. The only problem? The Governor is as big of a dick as the aforementioned 80s movie character.
That brings us to today (please check local listings for the day in your area) and the Stop Nick Shirley Act. See, Leftists like Newsom believe independent journalists looking into taxpayer-funded fraud is a bad thing. After all, it’s his money, right?
Yeah, not quite, but try telling him that.
Since Matt Drudge became a household name in spite of the mainstream media, the Left has been trying to discredit the work being done by people more invested in finding the truth than they are. They’ve suggested requiring licenses to practice journalism. They’ve dismissed independent journalists as bloggers sitting around in their underwear pretending to be real journalists. They’ve fact-checked (or what passes for fact-checking on the Left) more salacious pieces to find “errors” and used that to discredit the entire piece.
First off, I wear clothes most of the time I pretend to be a real journalist. Do with that what you will.
Second, all of these actions and plenty more show the Left can’t stand it when someone else has a say in the flow of information because it gets harder for them to lie their asses off without anyone throwing the brown bullshit flag. Just ask anyone who had their Twitter account struck or removed because of Leftist moderators.
And with that, it reveals the Left’s commitment to freedom of the press and freedom of speech. They are fully behind both…as long as they get to control both. Which kinda defeats the purpose of free speech and freedom of the press if you really think about it (and I do because I have to do something when the Internet is down). Oh, make no mistake the Left will jump out front to defend freedom of speech and freedom of the press (or at least their fucked up versions of both), but it’s always going to be bullshit because they love power more than those pesky ole rights we have.
The Stop Nick Shirley Act is the latest example of this. While Leftists will gush over one of their own for being one of their “First Amendment protectors,” they will do everything in their power to ensure someone who is far closer to one than they’ll ever be won’t be allowed to expose fraud and bring about change. Put another way, the Left love fraud more than freedom.
Not exactly a good look there, Leftists.
And for any Leftists reading this, that was not sarcasm.
The N Word
The Left has a problem with the N word, but it’s not the one you think. It’s
“Nazi.”
Granted, Leftists call anyone to the right of Bernie Sanders a Nazi, so it’s not unusual. What is unusual is how the Venn Diagram between Leftists and actual Nazis/white supremacists is getting a lot closer to a single circle.
Let’s start with one of the most famous white supremacists today, Richard Spencer. Yes, the same Richard Spencer who got sucker punched during an interview while wearing a Make America Great Again hat. Well, since then, he’s started moving to the left, supporting Joe Biden in 2020 and Kamala Harris in 2024. Sure, the Biden campaign denounced Spencer’s endorsement, but using Leftist logic (a paradox, I know) even being remotely connected to a white supremacist means you are one.
Don’t look at me. I don’t make the rules.
Then, there’s the curious case of Nick Fuentes, another white supremacist who has said he will vote for Democrats in the 2026 midterm elections. Of course, that might have something to do with Donald Trump not being enough like Hitler for his liking. So, Leftists, he’s all yours!
And nobody on the Right is chagrined by this.
The most recent example of the Left’s N-word problem comes in the form of Graham Platner, US Senate candidate from Maine. The dude with a literal Nazi tattoo. And the same Leftists who lost their shit over Pete Hegseth’s tattoos and tried to make the connection to white supremacy can’t seem to find the time to call out Platner’s literal Nazi tattoo. If anything, he’s getting the blessing of Leftist politicians like Elizabeth Warren and Bernie Sanders. Yes, Bernie Sanders, a Jewish politician, is supporting a man with a literal Nazi tattoo.
I know I’m saying “literal Nazi tattoo” a lot here, but I really want to drive home the point Platner has a literal Nazi tattoo.
To anyone who has the attention span of a mayfly on meth, this is a shift of position. To anyone outside of the Leftist hivemind, though, this is par for the course. In fact, it’s not just par, it’s a fucking albatross for the course. (For those of you non-golfers out there, that’s a very good score.)
What isn’t so good is the Left doesn’t even recognize how close it’s gotten to being the very Nazis they claim the Right are. Let’s take a look at the oft-quoted 14 characteristics of fascism.
Powerful and Continuing Nationalism – Leftists have been trying to portray themselves and their allies as patriots. Some have even gone so far as to claim they’re more patriotic than the MAGA crowd.
Disdain for the Recognition of Human Rights – The number of Leftists mocking Charlie Kirk’s death and wishing for the assassination of Donald Trump, among others? Yup.
Identification of Enemies/Scapegoats as a Unifying Cause – The Left calls MAGA a terrorist organization comparing them to ISIS.
Supremacy of the Military – Hearing Joe Biden and Leftist politicians talk about our military, they’re pretty much in Republican Lite territory.
Rampant Sexism – Two words: Harry Sisson.
Controlled Mass Media – Fucking DUH!
Obsession with National Security – The Left has called white supremacy the greatest threat to Americans.
Religion and Government are Intertwined – Cult of Climate Change, anyone?
Corporate Power is Protected – The Left sided with Disney over Ron Desantis. Nuff said.
Labor Power is Suppressed – No need to suppress labor unions when they’re practically in the Left’s back pocket.
Disdain for Intellectuals and the Arts – Ask a Leftist what he/she (still 2 genders, kids) thinks about J.K. Rowling.
Obsession with Crime and Punishment – Anyone want the J6ers thrown in jail under Biden to weigh in on this?
Rampant Cronyism and Corruption – I’ll take “Shit the Biden Administration Did” for $1000. Oh, and throw in Hunter Biden’s “artwork.”
Fraudulent Elections – 2020 ring a bell?
Would you look at that! A perfect 12 out of 12! Maybe the Nazi calls are coming from inside the house, and by house I mean DNC headquarters.
The Left has acted like Nazis when they’ve had any amount of power in the past 10 years, if not longer, but they’ll call you Nazis for merely disagreeing with them. Trust me. I’ve experienced this first hand on that online wasteland called Facebook. The last time I got called a Nazi that much, AOL chatrooms were still a thing.
And just like I did back then, I laughed it off. Seriously, you’re calling someone a Nazi based solely on a contrary position? Is that your go-to? If so, you need to step up your game. I’m Gen X and we were calling each other worse things in preschool. This “you’re a Nazi” shit is weak sauce.
While you’re doing that, work on actually understanding what a Nazi is and does and take an honest assessment of what your side is doing. Then, stop doing the shit that makes you look like Nazis.
Oh, and stop supporting candidates who have a literal fucking Nazi tattoo.
Leftist Lexicon Word of the Week
To say the Left isn’t taking their legal ass-whuppin coming out of Virginia well would be an understatement. Aside from whining, bitching, and moaning about how unfair it is they can’t use race as a means to gerrymander Congressional districts, they haven’t done much.
At least until recently.
The NAACP launched an initiative to get black student athletes and fans to boycott athletic programs in states where Republican redistricting efforts are in full swing. In the NAACP’s crosshairs are 8 southern states: Alabama, Florida, Georgia, Louisiana, Mississippi, South Carolina, Tennessee, and Texas. Because as we all know the best way to make a political statement is to…affect college athletics.
Don’t look at me. It doesn’t make any fucking sense to me either.
Having said that, it gives us a chance to dive deeper into the NAACP and the good work they do…okay, even I couldn’t complete that sentence without busting into laughter.
NAACP
What the Left thinks it means – an important civil rights organization focusing on helping blacks
What it really means – a dinosaur of an organization whose current mission does nothing to help blacks
The NAACP began in 1909 in response to anti-black rioting in Springfield, Illinois, that occurred in 1908. Within a matter of years, they expanded into several states and helped usher in an era of legal victories that undid discriminatory laws. Eventually, they got a bedrock victory in a little known case the kids like to call Brown v. Board of Education, ending the “separate, but equal” bullshit that came out of Plessy v. Ferguson.
Not content to win in courts, the NAACP proved to be a powerful force during the Civil Rights Movement of the 1950s and 1960s. Then, something happened.
The NAACP became, well, irrelevant. Sure, they were still visible and able to nudge politicians in their direction, but in the 1990s their star power started to fade. And it was for the same reason the SPLC started to lose some of its power recently: people started getting along. After kids growing up in the 70s and 80s learned how to treat blacks as equals, it was only a matter of time before they…started treating blacks (and other races, for that matter) as equals. That should have made the NAACP happy, right?
Nope.
Without the specter of rampant racism to draw upon for money…I mean the power to fight, the NAACP became little more than a reliable Leftist PAC. And when an organization founded on the concept of advancing blacks gets political, the mission suffers.
Take a look at the donations the NAACP made in the 2024 election cycle. There’s a pattern, but I can’t put my finger on it. Oh, well, I guess I “blue” it!
Then there’s the NAACP Legal Defense Fund. Seems they were also pretty generous to a certain party’s candidates.
In fact, looking at the past few election cycles, the last time the NAACP donated anything to Republicans since 2010, and even then it was only $205, which today would buy you half a tank of gas and a Slushie, but only a small Slushie. You might need the remaining $0.03 for something after all!
Now, you may think I’m crazy (and, believe me, I’m right there with you), but I’m thinking the NAACP might not want to advance all blacks, just the ones that they agree with politically. So in other words, black Leftists.
But that’s not all they do anymore! No, sir or ma’am (still 2 genders, kids)! They also lobby for important pieces of legislation, like…raising taxes on certain tobacco products.
Wow. Way to stick it to The Man.
This leads to an important question no one seems to be asking anymore: Thomas, where are your pants? Oh, and what has the NAACP done to advance blacks lately? Since I’ve been advised by my attorney not to talk about the former, I’ll stick with the latter.
And the answer? Not a whole fucking lot! They aren’t dealing with the day-to-day issues blacks face today, and they’re not doing much on a larger scale. They’re just…there, not really advancing anything but their personal agenda and their personal bank accounts.
They fell into the same trap the SPLC did: racism was their bread and butter, or champagne and caviar as the case may be. As long as they can rile people up and get them to believe racism was more rampant than anything related to The Mandalorian (which, if we want to not be sexist, should be The Persondalorian). But what happens when most people get along and aren’t racist?
If you’re in academia, you invent new forms of racism.
If you’re the NAACP, you’re shit outta luck.
Now, as a white man who makes Edgar Winter look like George Hamilton, it’s easy to dismiss my point of view as indicative of my internalized racism. My response is look at the vacuum in the black community needing to be filled by people with a genuine desire to elevate it. The NAACP was that for a number of decades, but it’s no longer there. What’s replaced it? Black Lives Matter, rap music culture, and a general lack of community not just within the neighborhoods, but in society as a whole.
But, hey, they’re out there fighting for higher tobacco taxes!
This latest effort to keep the NAACP relevant reeks of desperation. Trying to convince black college athletes to boycott because of the elimination of racial gerrymandering doesn’t advance anyone, let alone blacks. What they’re saying without articulating it is no blacks can ever win in white-dominated areas, so instead of trying to work with whites, you’re better off not trying. Just take your ball (or whatever other sports equipment you have) and go home.
And all based on a series of Leftist lies designed to get people upset.
Call it my wacky Gen X way of looking at the world, but I want to see everyone succeed to their fullest potential. That puts me at odds with the NAACP, and you know…I’m good with that. If you are a black collegiate athlete reading this, understand the NAACP isn’t on your side here. They’re clinging to the hope you still regard them in high enough esteem to follow them to a result that will deny you your fullest potential. I only ask you to think for yourselves and make the decision that you feel is best. Even if you don’t agree with me, I can respect your decision and the reasoning behind it.
The NAACP? They won’t do any of that. They need you more than you need them.
So, play or don’t play, boycott or boycott the boycott. The choice is up to you. Just let me know ahead of time so I can put money down on the Big 10 winning the National Championship this fall.