When you really think about it (and I do because my social life makes the Amish look like Charlie Sheen), there are a lot of logistical pieces in motion with any deportation process. For one, where do we keep the alleged illegal immigrants while they await their day in court? I have some ideas, but I’m not sure the Leftists crying about “due process” would like them.
Let’s just say they would get to know the illegal immigrants up close and personal.
But where there is a challenge, America finds a way to address it. In this case, we opened a new detention facility in Florida called “Alligator Alcatraz.” Even though it hasn’t been open for very long, it’s already garnering a lot of controversy, from allegations of detainee mistreatment to, and I wish I wasn’t making up, selling merch. Some Leftists have already started calling it “Alligator Auschwitz” because “Trump is literally Hitler” or some shit.
Either way, I would be remiss in my bloggy duties if I didn’t cover this in some fashion, so here we go!
Alligator Alcatraz
What the Left thinks it means – a concentration camp for people who are accused of not being here legally because of their skin color
What it really means – an outgrowth of the Left’s approach to illegal immigration
If the past couple of months has told us anything, it’s that the Left hasn’t met an illegal immigrant they don’t like. And the worse the criminal, the better. Under the watchful eye of President Brick Tamland, illegal immigration blew up more than Rosie O’Donnell with an allergic reaction. Such a large influx not only created strains on our social safety net, but created a nightmare for anyone who tried to enforce the law.
So, that’s why Leftists chose to ignore the law. Well, that, and they’re power hungry assholes, but still.
And under President Tamland, the scheme worked perfectly. More illegal immigrants came into the country with only a fraction of them or the ones already here being returned. All the Left needed to do was not to pick bumbling idiot to be the head of the 2024 ticket.
But, they did it anyway.
Now that there’s a new sheriff in town, there’s been more of a concerted effort to deport illegal immigrants, especially ones who have committed heinous crimes like human trafficking, smuggling, abuse, even murder. And that’s not exactly a small number, kids. This change in approach created a new set of headaches in order to deport the bad apples by the book.
Of course, my idea to use them to test the range of catapults was soundly rejected, but not for a lack of effort. Missed opportunities, I guess.
Anyway, the legal process requires the accused get their days in court, but considering the immigration courts move only slightly faster than continental drift, there came the need to house the accused in the meantime. This is where sites like Alligator Alcatraz come into play.
Now, this next part may be hard for Leftists to understand, so I’ll try to be as clear as I can. These facilities aren’t meant to be the Ritz Carlton. They’re going to be bare bones and intended to keep the bad guys inside. It’s not meant to be nice; it’s meant to be such a deterrent that people with an IQ above the number of people who still think Bluesky could become the next Social Media Platform Formerly Known As Twitter won’t want to go there.
As bad as it’s meant to be, we still have at least some standards to maintain. Meals, sanitation, access to legal counsel, the potential for buggery, and other essentials, for example. This is where the Left says Alligator Alcatraz falls short. Allegations of worms in food to large insects to a lack of sanitary conditions came flooding in faster than illegal immigrants under President Tamland.
This is where my bullshit meter starts going off. A lot. Some of the complaints like large bugs to sweltering temperatures can be explained simply: it’s fucking Florida. Some of the others, like the allegations of worms in the food, seem too horrible to be real. And when you consider Alligator Alcatraz had food trucks come onto the site, I’m going to say the claims of worms in the food might be exaggerated.
Unless those worms were of the gummy variety.
Another reason I have to call bullshit on many of the claims being made about conditions at Alligator Alcatraz is who is making them and who is reporting them. The source for the allegations is detainees. On the surface, they would be the best people to report on conditions inside the facility, but there’s one tiny hitch.
They’re fucking criminals.
Criminals from pickpockets to mass murderers all deal in some level of deceit, especially when they get caught. Nobody’s ever guilty. They’re all the victims of circumstance or a miscarriage of justice. Even if they’re caught red handed, they’ll say “It wasn’t me” more often than Shaggy.
In other words, they have a vested interest in lying. Not unlike the media covering the controversy, who have a vested interest in making anything related to Trump into the worst possible thing ever. I haven’t been able to confirm this independently, so take it with a grain of salt, but if what I’ve heard is true, there have been zero journalists who have been inside Alligator Alcatraz. That means the only source for these stories are those with a predisposition to lie.
Fucking brilliant.
And don’t get me started on the whole “Alligator Auschwitz” shit. Calling the facility a concentration camp, even in jest, is not just factually wrong, but grossly inappropriate. What’s more, none of the Leftists making these kind of remarks has stepped foot inside of Alligator Alcatraz, so they’re speaking out of their asses.
You know, like any other day.
Of course, this is done to play up the “Trump is literally Hitler” angle…again. At this point, the Left has invoked Nazis more than the History Channel and on far less justifiable grounds. And at least the History Channel has “Forged In Fire” which kicks all kind of ass, unlike Leftists.
Having said all that, I have a bone to pick with the way the Right is acting when it comes to Alligator Alcatraz. And by bone, I mean an entire fucking T Rex skeleton.
To some on the Right (I’m looking at you, Laura Loomer), this is all one big joke with alligators eating illegal immigrants as the punchline. This isn’t a joke, folks. These are still human beings. Yes, human beings who have committed a shitload of crimes against others, but human beings nonetheless. Their detainment shouldn’t be used as fodder for t-shirts, tacky souvenirs, and happy photo ops. It should be treated with the seriousness of the situation. The more you don’t, the easier it gets for the Left to paint you as inhuman monsters devoid of any decency whatsoever.
Not that they don’t already think that, mind you, but don’t give them the ammunition to keep doing it.
I see Alligator Alcatraz much like I see DOGE: a decent idea executed poorly. But it’s not the concentration camp the Left wants us to think it is, nor is it the Disneyland with more MS-13 members the Right wants us to think it is. It’s a metaphor for how fucked up we’ve gotten as a society. Yes, we need to find places to detain illegal immigrants while they get due process, but this may not be the way to go. Instead, send them to be with people who will truly appreciate the cultural gifts they bring to the country.
That’s right. Let’s send them to Beverly Hills.
Author: Thomas
I'm a writer and a ranger and a young boy bearing arms. And two out of the three don't count.
Leftist Lexicon Word of the Week
Capitol Hill was all abuzz this week, unfortunately not because a swarm of bees got into the Capitol Building and started stinging our Congresscritters. No, this buzz was because of the One Big Beautiful Bill Act that President Donald Trump pushed. With prospects looking shakier than Rosie O’Donnell eating Jello on the San Andreas Fault during a 6.9 on the Richter Scale, the Act was finally passed by the House and Senate following close vote counts and a lot of bitching.
Mostly from the Left, as it turns out.
As we watch Leftist’s heads explode, maybe we should take a more sober approach to figuring out what the Act is all about. Then again, in order to make sense of some of this shit, you might need a stiff drink or fifty.
One Big Beautiful Bill Act
What the Left thinks it means – a horrible bill that ultimately hurts the American people
What it really means – a Frankenstein’s Monster of a bill that should piss off everybody
After years of being a Leftist and a recovering Leftist, I’ve learned whenever they lose their collectivist shit over anything it’s worth double checking to see what they get right and what they pull out of their asses. Call it Don’t Trust But Verify, if you will.
The best place to start in reviewing the Act is, well, the Act itself. As you might expect, it’s about as sexy as Kathy Griffin without makeup. Or Carrot Top, in other words. Tucked into the sections and subsections are some pretty big items, like increasing funding for ICE and Medicare reform, that have had Leftists up in arms for weeks. On the plus side, at least the firebombing of Teslas has slowed down enough because of the outrage over the One Big Beautiful Bill.
Not that you could tell from the quality of said outrage. Aside from House Minority Leader Hakeem “the Nightmare” Jeffries talking for 8+ hours to delay the House vote on the Act and claims the Medicare cuts would kill tens of thousands a year, the best they could come up with is calling it…the Big Ugly Bill. What’s next? Calling Trump a doody-head?
Actually, that might be a compliment coming from Leftists, given they’re invested in calling him the next Hitler.
Anyway, the opposition to the Big Beautiful Bill Act didn’t accomplish its presumed goals and only served to throw some red meat (or would that be white tofu) to its ideological base. The “leaders” had to pretend like they were fighting for the American people because…let’s face it, they’re more interested in keeping power than anything else, so they had to put on some political Kabuki theater to give the impression they were doing something. Now, we’re being treated to “you MAGAs are gonna regret this” rhetoric.
After all, they’re so much smarter than us smooth-brained non-Leftists, right? And they were so right about President Brick Tamlin’s mental faculties, Queen Kamala the Appointed’s Presidential campaign, and Hunter Biden’s laptop!
The thing is there is a lot in the Act that the Left could have talked about in lieu of resorting to meaningless theatrics, fearmongering, and taunting that would get them mocked by preschoolers for being immature. For one, it’s over 900 fucking pages! After Congressional Republicans bitched about not being able to read bills before a vote when the Democrats ran Congress, cramming the shoe on the other foot doesn’t help matters any. Not to mention, it gave Leftists like Elizabeth “Chief Running Mouth” Warren a PR opportunity. Granted, it wasn’t all that effective in the grand scheme of things, but you never want to give your opponents any room to operate. Trump and his party faithful have to hit their knees and pray every night for the Left to continue to be ineffective.
And speaking of ineffective, one of the Act’s provisions would raise the debt ceiling by $5 trillion. Now, this is bad enough as it is, but it’s made even worse because of President Trump’s recent history flip-flopping on the issue. I know you have to spend money to make money in the business world, but this ain’t the business world. The money Trump wants to spend is ours. Just like the money President Brick Tamland and Queen Kamala the Appointed wanted to spend was ours. I didn’t like it then, and I don’t like it now for the same reason: it doesn’t address the spending problem. All it does is extend our federal credit card. And who’s gonna tell Congress they can’t spend anymore?
Nobody. Not even the President.
And with the One Big Beautiful Bill Act, it’s estimated the deficit will increase by over $3 trillion over the next decade. Remember when President Trump swore he would balance the budget? Yeah, that didn’t fucking happen and it’s not happening now.
Then, there’s the military spending. Sure, there’s provisions to help service members and build ships, but there’s also $25 billion for our own version of Israel’s “Iron Dome” missile defense system called the “Golden Dome.” Although it’s a good idea in theory and practice, it makes more sense in Israel than it does in the good ole US of A. Israel is surrounded by people who want to kill them and will use any military hardware they can get their hands on to do it. America doesn’t have that problem yet, and unless Canada and Mexico decide to start shit, we won’t need any dome. After all, what good is a missile defense dome against enemies already under it?
Which brings us back to illegal immigration. The Act also beefs up ICE and the Border Patrol to the tune of $100 billion. And that’s not counting the additional funds for detention centers, hiring more agents, the border wall, and, oh yeah, turning ICE into the largest law enforcement department in the country. The Left is already calling ICE the Gestapo, so why not give them more opportunities to make that point?
I see where the President and his staff are coming from with this spending, but I see it much like I see the rollout of DOGE: a good idea implemented badly. The hard work is going to be overhauling the immigration system, but it’s not even a concept in the One Big Beautiful Bill Act. Imagine what we could do if we spent some of the money going towards ICE towards revamping the current immigration and asylum process.
But at least the wall is getting more money, right?
As a small government kinda guy, my bullshit meter goes off whenever there’s a need to expand government even a little bit. Granted, hiring more ICE and Border Patrol agents makes more sense than hiring more IRS agents (and arming them) like President Brick Tamland wanted, I still have to call bullshit on the spending. We are running a $37 trillion national debt as of the writing of this Lexicon entry (check local listings for the time and spending debacle in your area). We don’t need to spend more; we need to find ways to do what we can with what we have. Right now, the government is spending money like a rich kid who buys a new car to match his/her outfit for the day, and until someone with some stroke tells us the spending spree is over, we’re going to keep looking for a hot pink and teal Ferrari for our trip to the day spa.
Any of these topics would have been an infinitely better discussion than the drivel the Left gave us about the Act, but even when they may have a point with some of the Act’s provisions, I still have to throw the brown bullshit flag. The claims being made around millions of Americans losing health care and food assistance may be omitting some key details.
Let’s take the “Americans are losing their health care” line. The Left is leaving out some details with this claim, namely some of the entities that get Medicaid funding. They want you to believe it’s your Grandma Oma getting shafted more than Richard Roundtree at a gay orgy, but the proposed funding cuts to Medicaid are designed to close up an oft-overlooked loophole that the Left has used for decades.
See, there’s this little thing the kids like to call the Hyde Amendment. The Cliff’s Notes explanation is federal funding is not to be used to fund abortions, a point the Left keeps bringing up when needed. The problem is…the Hyde Amendment isn’t being followed. Want proof?
Planned Parenthood gets over 40% of its funding from government entities including…drum roll please…Medicaid. And that’s not according to some right wing rumor mongering website. That’s from Planned Parenthood itself.
The Left will immediately fire back with “that’s not all Planned Parenthood does” and they’re right. However, my retort is to ask for a full accounting of where those government funds went, right down to the penny. And, funny thing, no one’s ever taken me up on that. Makes me wonder if Planned Parenthood might have something to hide…
With the food assistance angle, the Left is painting a false picture by using poor mothers and children as rhetorical human shields. Federal law states illegal immigrants aren’t supposed to get food assistance, but that may not be the case. During Fiscal Year 2023, the USDA made $10.5 billion in erroneous SNAP benefit payments. Although I’m not sure the Act directly addresses this in its more restrictive SNAP qualifications, it would be foolish not to tackle this issue, especially since it dovetails nicely with President Trump’s illegal immigration crackdown.
If only we had a federal agency that could look into that and root out government inefficiencies and waste. Nah, that would never fly, especially not if it’s named after an internet meme.
The One Big Beautiful Bill Act isn’t all bad, though. Tax cuts, decreased spending on alternative energy boondoggles…I mean grants, and boosts in tax credits are always welcome sights in any spending bill. Plus, it makes Leftists scream like Trigglypuff, so it can’t be all bad.
But that doesn’t make it all good, either. It’s a damn good thing Leftists don’t know how to make a cogent argument when it counts (or ever) or else the Act would have been in serious trouble and might not have gotten passed. I urge you to read up on it like I did and pick it apart before cheering or deriding it. A famous philosopher once said, “You take the good, you take the bad, you take them both and there you have…”
Wait. That’s the theme song from “The Facts of Life.” Never mind.
Fun Facts About America
Over the Fourth of July, a friend of mine was having a rough go of it for various reasons and just wanted to be cheered up with some good things about America. What started out as a friend helping a friend gave birth to what you’re about to read, some fun facts about America. Feel free to share this with your family, friends, coworkers, clergy members, and so on.
– America is the only country in the world with both bacon and Chuck Norris.
– Every Super Bowl winner has been American.
– America is the only place that has had both a fiction and real Steve Austin in existence.
– Our stick-mounted fried food culinary technology is unmatched.
– Who came up with the idea of putting laser light shows to the songs of Pink Floyd? America!
– The Big Gulp? Totally American! Ditto with slushie technology!
– Americans developed soft serve ice cream because the rest of the world wasn’t America enough.
– Who has competitive eating contests on the regular? It sure ain’t France, baby! It’s America!
– The vast majority of World Series winners? American! In fact, we’re the only country in the world with two leagues that play the same sport and are named with synonyms for each other!
– There have been exactly zero incidents of dingoes stealing our babies in America.
– The two American Disney parks have been more successful than any other Disney park in other parts of the world.
– We insist on calling our football (a game where feet aren’t typically used on offense to move the ball down the field) football and soccer (a game where feet are the primary method of of moving the ball down the field offensively) soccer instead of football.
– Name another country where you can take college courses on Taylor Swift and Beyonce and get academic credit for them. You can’t. That’s America!
– We are a melting pot of cultures, races, genders, and ideas. Where else can you find a gay communist furry revolutionary and have him/her/zim/zer be taken seriously?
– America is still the land of opportunity, whether it be entertainment, pop culture, or just starting a mom-and-pop store in the middle of nowhere. If you can dream it, America has a place for it, if only briefly.
– The American military makes significant advances in breaking other people’s stuff on a regular basis.
– Do you like to be rewarded for buying stuff? Thank America for coming up with that idea!
– Want to get married and get an annulment in the same weekend? Go to Las Vegas, USA, baby!
– Who had the cajones to drop not one, but two atomic bombs to end a war? America had the red, white, and blue balls to do it. (Okay, so I might need to work on the phrasing of that last one…)
– America had nothing to do with Wham’s “Last Christmas.”
– The majority of criminals featured on true crime shows and podcasts? American!
– America has multiple songs that could be considered national anthems from “The Star Spangled Banner” to “America F Yeah!”
That’s all I have for now. Don’t be surprised if I come out with another edition someday!
Leftist Lexicon Word of the Week
Did you know we were close to World War III? According to the Left, the US attacking Iran’s nuclear sites (which I’m sure were just making glow-in-the-dark snocones) got us involved in a war, one that our Democrat and “Independent” Congresscritters swore up and down was unconstitutional and their fellow Leftists called a war crime. Even Tucker Carlson said the bombing would get us into World War III.
Well, if this was World War III, it was the Rachel Zegler’s Snow White of World Wars.
But that’s not going to stop the Left from bringing it up as often as they can. So, that means we get a chance to point and laugh!
World War III
What the Left thinks it means – an escalation of tensions leading to a war involving and/or affecting the entire world
What it really means – a scare tactic the Left uses whenever a Republican does anything militarily
As much as I hate to admit this, I’m old enough to remember when World War III was a real possibility, or at least it seemed like it to my young mind full of Saturday morning cartoons, popular music, video arcades, and copious amounts of Mountain Dew. The Cold War made nuclear annihilation a real threat, stoked in no small part by movies like “The Day After.” Ronald Reagan even joked about bombing the Soviet Union, which freaked out a lot of people.
Then…it didn’t happen.
All that handwringing, worry, and over-the-top bullshit turned out to be nothing more than a game of Chicken, only with a greater possibility of nuclear fallout. The Berlin Wall fell like a balsa wood shed in a Cat 5 hurricane. The Soviet Bear became closer to teddy than Kodiak. And the talk of World War III could finally be put to rest.
At least until it could be brought up again at a politically expedient time, like when Donald Trump took military action.
And, you’ll be surprised to know this isn’t without purpose. The Left has been trying to paint Trump as the next Hitler. You know, like they did with George W. Bush and Mitt Romney. When you invoke this kind of imagery, it brings up memories of Nazis marching, Adolf Hitler shouting with an audience in rapt attention hanging on his every word, and…wait for it…World War II.
In fact, these days there’s a whole cottage industry around making Trump into Hitler 2.0 by any lies…I mean means necessary. Trump has a military parade to celebrate the 250th anniversary of the US Army? Hitler! Trump pushes for stricter enforcement of immigration laws? Hitler! Trump wears a red tie that hangs down lower than a well-hung midget’s dick? Totes Hitler, guys!
With this in mind, Leftists jumped on the “World War III is coming” bandwagon. And just like Err America, the current leadership of the DNC, and Angel Reese’s field goal percentage, it turned out to be very disappointing. Our bombing in Iran blew shit up, which is kinda the point of bombing in the first place. Iran’s nuclear program took a major hit (figuratively and literally), possibly hindering their ability to develop nuclear weapons.
And Leftists were left trying to make Iran, a country that stands for everything they say they’re against, look sympathetic. You know, kids, sometimes our Leftist friends emphasize the wrong half of the term “useful idiots.”
Even if you think the actions Trump took were questionable, it’s clear what he did was Constitutional, thanks to a little thing the boys in the lab call the War Powers Resolution of 1973. Without going too far into the weeds, this law gives the President the authority to initiate military action without a formal declaration of war by Congress. All the President has to do is let Congress know within 48 hours and get approval for continued military action if things go beyond 60 days.
Contrary to what Jasmine Crockett. Jamie Raskin, and Tim Kaine want us to believe, Trump acted legally and Constitutionally. Not that that’s going to stop them from proclaiming him guilty of impeachable offenses, mind you. And there’s no requirement for any President to give Congress a heads-up before military action is initiated.
Given the track record of some of the Congresscritters with regards to security (I’m looking at you, Eric “Fang Fang’s Bitch” Swalwell), I’m not sure letting them know before the planes get fueled up is the best idea.
Similarly, it’s not a good idea to give into the fear of World War III without taking the time to understand the dynamics of any potential flashpoint. Since we’re here, let’s take the Iran bombing as an example. The intelligence community (which has members dumber than two bags of hammers) said for years Iran didn’t have nuclear aspirations, only to have to come back years later and say “well, maybe they are, but it’s not for weapons.” Yet, there were enough weird coincidences that would lead someone without his or her head up his/her ass to conclude maybe Iran was trying to develop nuclear weapons. To stop that from happening and having them launch nukes on Israel (one of our allies, by the way), Trump decided to roll the dice and bomb Iran’s nuclear facilities.
And shit got blown up real good.
So, is Iran going to strike back at America? That’s hard to say, mainly because it’s hard to fathom in a traditional sense. Our military has enough technology and firepower to blow Iran into the Stone Age, which might be a cultural upgrade at this point. If they were to try to retaliate, it’s going to be on a completely different battlefield with more underhanded tactics.
So, how do you feel about those open borders now, Leftists?
There’s a possibility other countries might join Iran, but then it becomes a cost-benefit analysis more than military strategy. What would be the upside to helping Iran? Aside from sitting on more oil than a triple pepperoni pizza at a nerd’s sleepover, there isn’t much Iran can provide to help their allies. That means the risk is greater than the reward. And do you know why?
Because Trump is fucking crazy.
Or at least he knows how to act crazy when it counts. All it would take for Trump to wake up on the wrong side of the Presidential bed and he could turn Iran and a good chunk of the Middle East into the world’s largest glass sculpture. We could call it “FAFO.”
To elevate the Iran bombing to the level of the bombing of Pearl Harbor or the burning of the Reichstag is an exaggeration that would make Tommy Flanagan look like George Washington. We aren’t any closer to World War III by bombing Iran than if we sat on our hands and pretended Iran wasn’t developing nukes to be used at some point and it’s folly to think otherwise.
Granted, I still have some questions about the circumstances, even though it’s hard to argue against the final result. Having said that, I’m not going to practice my duck and cover skills over it. I’m saving my anxiety for something far more important.
Watching reruns of the Battle of the Network Stars.
Leftist Lexicon Word of the Week
Last weekend (check local listings for the date and time in your area), Leftists from around the world gathered for the No Kings Day protest to take a stand against…kings, apparently. The Elvis Presley estate, LeBron James, and two California professional sports teams were hardest hit.
I considered covering this in last week’s Lexicon, but I a) wanted to see how it turned out, and b) had more interesting shit to do. Now that it’s been a week or so (check local listings for the date and time in your area), I think I can definitively talk at length about the No Kings Day protests.
Or at least make fun of it.
No Kings Day
What the Left thinks it means – a day of mass protests against Donald Trump and his authoritarian regime
What it really means – a protest that’s more Astro Turf than grassroots
When you really think about it (and I have because my social calendar is blanker than Jasmine Crockett’s face while she works on a one piece jigsaw puzzle), it takes quite a bit of logistical planning to pull off any mass gathering short of a riot. Almost everything from a political rally to an office picnic requires a coordinated effort to take care of the details and potential snags that go into putting on the best event possible. It takes a level of competence and planning sometimes bordering on the Herculean.
Well, that excludes Leftists.
Actually, that’s not entirely true. In spite of their intellectual limitations, they’ve managed to put together a network of organizations whose job it is to promote and fund Leftist causes. And the list of partners for the event is a laundry list of known Leftist groups, which isn’t surprising given how the No Kings Day protests are connected to another series of “grassroots” protests put on by the 50501 Movement. From what I’ve been able to gather in my research, the movement’s main goal is to fight back against Executive Branch overreach.
Of course, they had to wait until President Brick Tamland and Queen Kamala the Appointed were out of power to worry about it because…Orange Man Bad, I guess?
As much as I’d like to say, “Welcome to the pro-small government team,” the fact is they’re still big government types. They just don’t want someone else to have the power big government possesses. After all, some of the big brains behind the 50501 Movement are connected to…Bernie Sanders, a man who never met a socialist idea he couldn’t make money off of.
And thanks to the mild success of the earlier protests, we had No Kings Day, which told the world Leftists were firmly against…something we don’t have in America.
Yes. It’s that fucking stupid.
Listen, I appreciate people gathering peacefully and expressing themselves because the same First Amendment that covers my weekly blog full of bad jokes and obscure references that would make Dennis Miller say, “Hey, buddy, that’s way too far out there” (See?) also covers people with whom I vehemently disagree. Having said that, it doesn’t speak well of the movement or the message when it makes no sense outside of your ideological bubble. For a movement to really get traction, you have to attract more than your rabid fan base.
And that’s where No Kings Day falls apart. Yes, it was well-attended and the media did their part to make it look and sound successful, with attendance estimated between 4 and 6 million people. Not too shabby. Now, consider Queen Kamala the Appointed got a shade over 75 million votes in the 2024 election. If each vote represented one person (which might be a stretch given Chicago’s voting history), a vast majority of the people who voted for Queen Kamala stayed home.
Oops.
Not exactly the rousing success the Left wants us to believe it was, numbers-wise. And it doesn’t exactly move the needle, policy-wise. Right now, the Left is united by only one thing: seething hatred for all things Trump. Beyond that, they have the Underpants Gnome’s business plan for a political strategy. Even if the No Kings crowds were larger than anything Donald Trump has ever put together outside of an election, it still doesn’t matter because Trump is still President. It’s kinda hard to flex on crowd sizes with a man with access to the Nuclear Football.
And it bears repeating (mainly because I have to get this through the Left’s thick skulls), Trump isn’t acting like a king, dictator, authoritarian, or anything else the Left claims he is, or at the very least he’s no more authoritarian, dictatorial, or kingly than previous Presidents. Not to mention, he was elected twice. Last time I checked, kings don’t get elected. They’re born into the role.
You know, just like the Bush Family. (Sorry, Jeb.)
The thing to remember in all of this hue and cry is Trump is acting in his official capacity as President, and the same can be said of the people he’s appointed. Sending the Marines and National Guard into California to deal with anti-ICE rioting…I mean protesting? In the President’s wheelhouse. Renaming military bases? Under the Department of Defense’s job description. Cutting wasteful spending? Should have been done by Congress, but DOGE was a repurposed department previously created by President Barack Obama, thus it’s allowed.
Unless, of course, you’re going to call President Obama a king, tyrant, etc., and I get the feeling you’re not going to because…Orange Man Bad.
Aside from their abject hypocrisy in the face of authoritarian rule, the No Kings and 50501 Movement have something else in common: they share funding from our good friend Uncle George Soros. And before you Leftists say “But the Koch Brothers,” it should be pointed out the Koch Brothers aren’t in the business of creating groups to invent “grassroots” organizations like Georgie Porgie Pudding and Treason is. And compared to the TEA Party movement, the Soros-backed movements are utter failures on the level of Angel Reese making layups.
To be fair, No Kings did have some positive news coming out of it. That was until the killings connected to it, even tangentially. That’s a good way to curtail any momentum. That, and the fact each protest this year has gone off with all the impact of a popcorn fart in foam rubber. Trump and the Administration have commented, shrugged their shoulders, and kept doing what they were going to do in the first place.
Great fucking job, Leftists.
And guess what? The 50501 Movement is holding more protests. Because what do you after a protest where nothing happens? Do it again and again!
Let me give you Leftists a piece of advice. Take a shower. And beyond that, you have to understand the more protests you hold funded by the same groups only wastes their money and makes you look like dicks. Far be it from me to stop you if you want to look like dicks, mind you, but I at least wanted to warn you in case you missed it. Besides, you’ve done a fantastic job looking like dicks before now.
Right now, the No Kings Day protests and the 50501 Movement protests are pretty much a non-issue anymore. The fact I had other shit to do rather than cover them when they happened should tell you something, namely that they’re too dumb to be taken seriously. Or in my case, comically. When they start pulling in bigger numbers and have a more coherent and non-exclusionary message, then maybe I’ll take them seriously.
And that’s very heavy on the maybe.
Leftist Lexicon Word of the Week
There was a time in our nation’s history when we were scared of communists and what they were capable of doing. The less psychologically grounded of us saw communists everywhere from school boards to boxes of breakfast cereal. (I knew there was something off about the sun on the Raisin Bran box!) Then, we realized communists were less threatening than a Nerf marshmallow (and only slightly less appetizing) and the “Red Scare” was over.
Now, the people who laughed at the “Red Scare” have a scare of their own: they see fascism everywhere. It’s gotten so all-encompassing, Leftists have resurrected a Nazi term to describe law enforcement officers, that being the Gestapo. Although I’m not sure what a chilled vegetable-based soup has to do with anything…wait, that’s gazpacho. Never mind.
Since there’s not much to talk about with gazpacho, let’s look at the Gestapo instead.
the Gestapo
What the Left thinks it means – the group of fascist enforcers oppressing minorities
What it really means – an overused term designed to defame law enforcement doing its job
Back in the days of Nazi Germany, there were numerous enforcement arms to keep order and beat back opposition. One of these was the Secret State Police, or Gestapo. To put it mildly, they were not nice people. Surely, anyone who gets called the Gestapo would be guilty of the same atrocities, if not worse and/or more, right?
Wellllllll…that’s stretching things more than Reed Richards at a yoga retreat.
Remember, the Left has been calling Republicans Nazis for decades. That includes Mitt Romney, who is the human equivalent of dry white toast. And the same Mitt Romney Leftists praised for standing up to President Trump. What a difference a decade makes.
Well, that, and a new villain for the Left to turn into Hitler 2.0.
Of course, this is by design. Leftists love to paint themselves as the last line of defense between democracy and authoritarianism, even as they resort to authoritarianism to “defend” democracy. But since they’re on the “right side of history” it’s okay to be utter hypocrites apparently.
With increased scrutiny on illegal immigration, the Left’s new favorite fascist straw men are ICE agents. After all, they’re…let me check my notes here…enforcing immigration laws. Those bastards!
To any rational person with a semblance of knowledge about the illegal immigration issue right now, the ICE/Gestapo comparison makes as much sense as anything Queen Kamala the Appointed says. But that hasn’t stopped the Left from making the comparison whenever possible.
And speaking of Queen Kamala, her stumbling mate Governor Tim “I’m a Football Coach and Don’t Know What a Pick Six Is” Walz was one the voices making the connection. At a recent Oversight Committee meeting, Democrats kept hammering this comparion like they were carpenters working straight commission. If I didn’t know better, I would think they were anti-law enforcement! I mean, didn’t the Left say attacks on law enforcement were signs of being traitorous anti-Americans?
Oh, wait. That was the FBI.
When FBI agents started to go after President Trump, the Left cheered. Doesn’t matter whether the charges were more full of shit than Port-A-Potties at a music festival catered by Chipotle, what mattered was the FBI was just going their jobs in enforcing the law. And why not? I mean, it’s not like FBI personnel were giving money to Democrats…oh, wait…
Surely I can’t be the only one to see the irony here. Leftists who bent over backwards to defend the FBI against accusations of political biases by invoking the “just doing their jobs” line are now getting their collectivist panties in a wad over ICE agents doing their jobs. I wonder what could be different?
Oh, yeah, they’re not in charge of ICE anymore. It’s under the leadership of the Trump Administration, which is totes full of fascists because shut up fascist. And since they’re totes fascists, ICE is the Gestapo!
Except…they’re not. If you pay attention to the video footage (which I do because I make stamp collectors look like extreme athletes), there’s no torture, no cases of excessive and unjustified violence, nothing anywhere near the level of actions the actual Gestapo took. It’s political hyperbole cranked up to 948, only because the Left’s dials don’t go up to 950 yet.
Normally, we could chalk this up to politicians being bullshitters, but these aren’t normal times. In fact, we may have blown past the exit to normal a few light years back and we’ve turned off the GPS telling us to turn the fuck around.
In recent years, support for political violence against opponents has risen on both sides of the gulf between parties and ideologies. In case I haven’t made myself crystal clear on this, political violence is a non-starter with me, regardless of who is the target. This is how terrible shit starts, shit you shouldn’t wish on your worst enemies because it tends to boomerang at some point. Not to mention, it makes you look like a total douchecanoe.
With the Left’s framing of ICE as the modern day Gestapo, they’re encouraging, if not out and out justifying, violence against ICE agents. Invariably, this is going to make some Leftists froggy, so when they jump, they’re going to be met with force. Then, the Left will decry the violence against peaceful protesters (who just happen to be looting, burning, and assaulting people other than ICE agents) and gin up support to fight back against the “Gestapo” just like their WWII-era relatives did.
One tiny problem with that. Well, more than one, but this is the one I want to mention here. You see, political violence against the opposition is part and parcel of the 14 characteristics of fascism as observed by Umberto Eco, or at the very least an outgrowth from them.
In other words, Leftists are trying to out-fascist the people they claim are the fascists because democracy or something.
And given how many times Leftists have supported rioting, looting, arson, and the like within the past 5+ years (I’m looking at you, BLM), it’s not out of the realm of belief that they’re okay with the current anti-ICE riots going on in California right now. After all, they’re on the “right side of history” according to them. Of course, if they knew history to begin with, they wouldn’t be trying to downplay the violence they’re explicitly and implicitly encouraging.
But no matter how much the Left cries “Gestapo” in lieu of “Wolf” it’s still bad optics that will only encourage more people to support ICE in the short term, and possibly the long term. The longer the chaos in California continues, the more people are going to support efforts to stop it.
Especially if they pull a real dick move and do something like mocking a working mother trying to get to work while these overgrown toddlers “protest.” But I’m sure no Leftists would be that fucking dumb, right?
Never mind.
Keep doing what you’re doing, Leftists. I’m sure being on the wrong side of public opinion will work this time!
Leftist Lexicon Word of the Week
There’s a popular saying on the Right: the Left can’t meme. Mainly because…they can’t meme. Hey, there’s actual science behind it, so we have to Trust the Science, right?
This week, I was introduced to another example of this, that being the Left’s latest attempt to get one over on President Donald Trump. In an attempt to draw attention to the tariff situation, they created an acronym, TACO, which stands for “Trump Always Chickens Out.” And when one Leftist comes up with an idea, it’s a surprise, but it also gets spread around as the funniest thing ever.
So, let’s just say this week’s Lexicon has me hungry for Mexican food.
TACO
What the Left thinks it means – a clever acronym that shows Trump always backs down from his tariff threats
What it really means – a damn stupid acronym that failed to make a meaningful impact
To understand TACO, we must understand the underlying issue, that being tariffs. As I’ve written previously, tariffs can be used as a negotiation tactic, which is what President Trump has tried to do. Sometimes it’s worked, sometimes it hasn’t. Overall, we’re still making our way through the uncertain waters post-Tariff-A-Palooza.
One of the problems the Trump Administration faces is the President flip-flops on the matter more than John Kerry cooking pancakes at an IHOP working straight commission. That has given the Left ammunition (which is funny considering they hate guns, but love violence) to mock the President. Hence, the idea Trump always chickens out when it comes to making tariffs more than empty threats.
Unfortunately for the Left, that idea is based on a lie. There have been some notable successes that extend beyond merely funding the government, not the least of which being former Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau resigning.
You’re welcome, Canada.
Meanwhile, the Left thinks TACO is not only a factual statement, but a winning strategy. They went so far as to rent a taco truck to give away tacos in front of the Republican National Committee headquarters in Washington, DC. Now, I’m not one to pass up free food, but apparently I’m in the minority in our nation’s capital because that taco truck stunt resulted in the truck leaving early and Leftists getting mocked on social media.
And now, they’re getting mocked in a blog post. I’m sure they’ll recover somehow.
The truth of the matter is it was a fucking stupid idea to begin with, and it’s only getting worse with the Left a) defending the message, and b) doubling down on it. It did have one success, that being making Trump mad. Great work, kids. You’ve really shown us. Now what will do you for an encore? Come up with another lame acronym that spells out something stupid at a total own of the Orange Man?
Scratch that. It was stupid the first time, and the law of diminishing returns is a thing.
There is another Leftist assumption at work here. Due to their warped (and Jasmine Crockett-level stupid) perception of Trump’s immigration policies, the Left thinks Trump hates Hispanic people. At least, that’s what they keep saying over and over again because, well, unoriginal thinkers. The truth is a little muddier than that. Yes, Trump has called out Mexico repeatedly, but there’s some context the Left doesn’t want you to consider.
Leftists are pro-illegal immigration. Full fucking stop.
As simple as this is, I still feel an explanation is in order. The Left’s approach to immigration relates directly to their ability to gain and retain power. If a tighter border benefits them, they’ll support it, but more often than not, a border looser than the morals at an all you can eat brothel (and I’m not talking about an endless buffet, kids) works in their favor. To them, immigrants are a means to an end. However, not everybody who crosses our border is looking for a better life and an honest day’s work.
Hence, the Left plays on our emotions by painting all immigrants as just poor people who need our help. And if a few bad apples come across, that’s acceptable because the majority aren’t bad people.
Laken Riley was unavailable for comment.
There’s a vast difference between following the existing process to come to America and the shitshow the Left has allowed to happen, but opposing illegal immigration isn’t hate in and of itself. By conflating legal immigrants with illegal immigrants, the Left has created a ready-made excuse for any Tomas, Ricardo, and Julio who sneaks into the country. And with that excuse comes benefits ranging from luxury hotel rooms to culturally-sensitive food.
So, naturally, the Left wants people to think anyone who doesn’t appreciate the largesse extended to people who jumped the line must hate all Hispanics.
Now, what does this have to do with TACO? I may be off in left field on this, but I don’t think the acronym was a coincidence. Leftists understand how Trump acts emotionally (mainly because they trigger him), so they find ways to get under his skin to get the emotional outbursts they want. And what better way to reinforce their opinion that Trump hates Hispanics than to get him to react negatively to the TACO acronym?
Then again, these are the same idiots who thought online influencers could help Queen Kamala the Appointed become President, so it might just be a coincidence after all.
Regardless, the way the Left was pushing TACO made it seem as inorganic as a fast food burger made from microplastics and AstroTurf. They were like stand up comedians who knew a joke bombed, but would go back to the joke time and time again hoping the second, third, or even the four-hundred-ninety-eighth time would make the audience laugh.
Basically, like my blog posts, but on stage.
By trying to make TACO a thing, the Left wound up making it…well, nothing, really. It lacked the core of any online movement, social media fad, or viral YouTube video: it has to at least feel real, if not completely accidental. That’s how you get actual reach in the online space. You can’t create an audience out of thin air. These days, you have to buy it.
Seriously, though, the best the Left could hope for with TACO was it would make their sycophants…I mean followers giggle and share it with their network, comprised of, you guessed it, other Leftists! Mission accomplished, dudes/dudettes/other derivations of the word “dude” that apply.
And now, it’s become a punchline not even two weeks into it. It’s so bad Vice President JD Vance called you “the lamest opposition in American history.” And it’s hard to argue against that, really. If this is the Left’s A game, it’s coming off more like an Meh game. And it only gets worse when you consider you’ve just made JD Vance look like a mature, serious-minded adult. This shit is going to backfire on you come 2028 when Vance throws his hat into the ring against…whatever Frankenstein’s monster ticket you’ll come up with to oppose him.
Might as well get used to saying “President Vance” for 8 years, kids.
Leftist Lexicon Word of the Week
In the aftermath of the electoral fiasco that was the 2024 election, Leftists have been trying to figure out why they lost so many male voters to the Evil Orange Man. And after some soul-searching and thoughtful consideration, they’ve devised a plan to win them back.
Just kidding! They’re spending $20 million on a program called SAM, which stands for Speaking with American Men. This is a departure from their usual approach, which is BAM: Browbeating All Men. While we see how the Left will fuck this up, let’s take a look at it.
Speaking with American Men
What the Left thinks it means – an effort to attract more male voters to Democrat politicians and movements
What it really means – an Astro Turf movement to try to correct a problem the Left caused
The genesis of this idea came from the same place all great political movements start: luxury hotels. So far, the big brain ideas the Left has come up with are:
– using the online space to appeal to younger men
– study the phrasing used to attract young men in these spaces
– buy advertisements in video games
Wow. It’s a wonder Leftists even have to campaign with brilliant ideas like these, amirite? But at least they’ve figured out what men are, so there’s that.
As anyone who has seen the cratering user numbers of Mastodon can tell you, the online world is incredibly fickle. One day you’re getting millions of interactions with each and every post, and the next you’re lucky to show up in the algorithm. (For the uninitiated, algorithm is what the former Vice President thinks he has when he’s dancing.)
Trying to get people to pay attention to something in this space is tricky. Yes, it’s incredibly easy to get people to act like jackasses on TikTok, but that’s because it’s fucking TikTok. But for every overnight dance craze that loses its popularity before you’re done chewing a stick of Fruit Stripe gum, there are many more that fail to do anything more than make the subject being filmed look like a jackass.
Like Leftists using TikTok to make political commentary.
Being able to get users to pay attention to anything on social media takes more than a strategy and a pretty or handsome face speaking words. It takes a message worth spreading that goes beyond a particular audience. It’s 0ne thing to go viral on BlueSky, which is a highly-moderated Leftist echo chamber to rival the Grand Canyon, and to go viral on the Social Media Platform Formerly Known as Twitter, which used to be a Leftist echo chamber until Elon Musk bought it and…well, we’re still trying to figure out what he did with it, but whatever it was it stopped being a Leftist echo chamber.
And it’s not a matter of the size of the platform, either. Naturally, you’re going to get a longer reach on a platform that has become a daily habit for most people. Leftist social media “influencer” Harry Sisson is on X, TikTok, and Instagram and his posts garner a lot of attention, but it’s all to parrot Leftist squawking points without any intellectual depth. So, naturally, he’s on the right social media platforms for his intellectual prowess. But is Sisson the right person to attract young male voters? Not unless they identify as teenage girls.
In fact, the Left has been trying to find the “white guy whisperer” for a few months now, and they’ve assembled quite the motley crew (and not the musical kind). Here are some of the people who have stepped up or have been pushed into the role.
– Tim Walz, Governor of Minnesota and former Vice Presidential candidate under Queen Kamala the Appointed
– Doug Emhoff, the Second Gentleman under Queen Kamala the Appointed
– David Hogg, gun control activist and possibly former vice DNC chair
– Olivia Julianna, female Democrat social media “influencer”
Wow. With a line-up like that, the only missing piece is Naomi Wolf, who was hired to help Al Gore with his masculinity.
And for any Leftists reading this, I was joking.
The issues the Left have communicating with men have one thing in common: they’re all self-inflicted. The most obvious one is their attitude towards men in general: they fucking suck! Thanks in part to third wave feminism and a healthy disdain for the founding of this country, Leftists have found nothing good in the male of the species. And, speaking as a male, they may have a point. The stereotypical man in Leftist circles is a frat bro, one stage above Cro Magnon but with better cars. They’re uncultured, uneducated, probably drunk, and definitely backwards, but they’re the ones who hold all the power.
Which pretty much describes my opinion of most Congresscritters, but I’m sure that’s purely coincidental.
And when Leftists find someone who doesn’t align with them, they move into harangue-you-into-submission mode. They will shrilly preach about what you’re doing wrong in their eyes, why that makes you worse than literally Hitler, and call you all sorts of names. So, it’s really a mystery why Democrats keep losing the male vote…
Again, Leftists, I’m kidding.
What isn’t a joking matter is the culmination of all of that browbeating and general bitching about men. With male support of Democrats going further south than the border wall, it’s clear the current Leftist model doesn’t work anymore. Men are tired of being told we suck, especially when the majority of us don’t. Even Leftist men are often into causes to get pussy.
Spoiler Alert, guys: It never works. They’ll never fuck you, but they’ll float the idea just enough to keep you from leaving. And there’s nothing you can say or do that will be enough to remove that Rock of Gibraltar-sized block from their shoulders.
Check that. There is one thing: going full Dylan Mulvaney.
And you never want to go full Dylan Mulvaney.
And here’s the funny thing (because it’s about time there’s something funny in this piece). Men really aren’t that complicated. We like simple things, like meat, grilling, and grilling meat. Oh, there’s also booze and women. And maybe fast cars or motorcycles. Oh, and there’s sports.
Come to think of it, men might be more complicated than I think.
Seriously, though, at the heart of every man is four chambers. But aside from that, there’s a need to feel competent at the basics of life. Back in prehistoric times, men were the hunters and gatherers, thus they were the providers. Even though we’ve come a long way since then, the need to provide is hard-wired into men’s psyches. The American Dream was built on that same idea, only with two car garages and white picket fences instead of trying not to be devoured by giant lizards and avoiding tar pits.
In other words, when I was a wee lad.
Leftists overcomplicate this concept (as they often do because to them being confusing is a sign of super-duper intelligence), so they completely miss the answer to their male voting problem. Instead of nagging us to vote for Democrats because reasons, give us a reasoned argument. Or at the very least don’t sound like a harpy when you talk to us. You should have learned that lesson in 2016 after watching Hillary Clinton lose, but apparently you haven’t.
And here’s a fun fact! Many men didn’t vote for Hillary Clinton or Kamala Harris because they’re sexist and racist. It’s because they didn’t like them. And you know why we like someone like Tulsi Gabbard? Because she’s fucking hot!
No, wait, that’s not it. It’s because she doesn’t come at men like we’re the enemy. Her tone and demeanor are much more inviting and she’s more open to having a conversation even if we don’t see eye to eye. You could have a beer with her while grilling steaks and have a great time.
Try imagining Hillary or Kamala in that scenario. Even if you put it in the best AI out there, it would come back and say, “Seriously, what the fuck, Dave?”
While Leftists continue to try to attract men to their causes, they’re going to be met with more failure than Walter Mondale in 1984 until they come to terms with their misandry. Swearing more and studying how men speak will only take you so far, but to me they come off like the “How Do You Do Fellow Kids” meme. If you want to get men back in your political corner, be real.
And from what I’ve seen and heard so far, Speaking with American Men is about as real as William Shatner’s hair.
Extremist Makeover – WNBA Edition
Usually, these Extremist Makeovers involve politics, but this time I wanted to delve into a different, but no less controversial, subject. I have been a basketball fan for most of my life, starting as many kids do: shooting hoops in my driveway. But since I sucked at dribbling, shooting accuracy, passing, playing defense, rebounding, running, and pretty much anything else that is required to be good at the game, I gave up my hoop dreams. Even so, I never lost my love of the game.
That’s why it’s so disappointing to see what’s going on in the WNBA. I know it’s supposed to be professional basketball, but it reminds me more of a pick-up game at the Y. That I’m playing in. And I’m the best player on the court. The offense is spotty, the defense makes the defense played at the NBA All Star Game look like the security at Fort Knox, and there’s less hustle on both sides of the ball than a hibernating sloth whose core temperature has been dropped to absolute zero.
And that’s just Angel Reese.
I’m kidding, of course. Clearly there are women on WNBA teams that could run me out of the gym before the opening whistle, but that’s no great feat. It’s made even more apparent when a player takes a shot her teammates look like the scene from “The Ten Commandments” when Moses parts the Red Sea. The only thing less occupied than the lane in that situation may be the stands at most WNBA games.
That was before a young woman with a dream and an outside shot that she could make from the parking lot on the other side of the country named Caitlin Clark entered the league. Incredible court vision, crisp and precise passing, and genuinely a fun player to watch all by herself. And she’s a clear draw, if attendance, endorsement deals, and TV ratings are any indication.
Yet, the WNBA has a problem with Caitlin Clark, one they’re not ready to admit or resolve. The league simply wasn’t ready for her level of game, which puts a lot of NBA starters to shame. So, naturally, the WNBA did the sensible thing and built the league around her.
Just kidding! They let other players use her as a tackling dummy while the refs and Commissioner turned a blind eye to it. Unless, of course, Clark tried to fight back. Then, she gets called for whatever foul they can find and then has to play nice for the media scrum afterwards.
And that’s not counting the attitudes by WNBA stars and former players turned analysts. Some appreciate what Clark brings to the league, while others curse the hardwood she walks on. And it’s not just the occasional sly throwing of shade, either. There’s actual hatred behind some of the commentary, matched only by the hatred towards Clark with some of her peers.
Needless to say, the WNBC needs a lot of help. And I, being Mr. Helpful, am here to help!
The first step starts with a question: do you want to succeed, or do you want to continue being the NBA’s side piece? Let’s face it, the WNBA needs the NBA more than the NBA needs to learn what traveling is, and considering there’s so much traveling going on players get frequent flier miles during each game, that’s saying something. If you’re not aware, the WNBA is being kept fiscally afloat by the NBA, and even with the Caitlin Clark Effect in full effect, the powers that be can’t seem to figure out how to turn that into a money-making venture.
I know we’re not supposed to attribute malice to a situation that can be chalked up to incompetence, but I can’t figure out which it is in this case. That’s why my question is the key to figure out where to go from here. If you’re comfortable with the status quo, then we’re done here. Enjoy constantly losing money and try to act surprised when the doors close for good.
But let’s assume for the purposes of this sketch you want to make money. Then, the question becomes how can you improve the product you’re putting out for a fraction of the public consumption at the moment. This is easy: hire high school basketball refs. The “professionals” you have miss more calls than Helen Keller (and at least she has the excuse of being deceased). Until the “professionals” can prove they can call a full game without more errors than a Timothy Geithner tax return (talk about your obscure callbacks!), I’m afraid they’re going to have to learn how to do their jobs by watching real professionals do them.
Second, recognize what Caitlin Clark brings to the table and do what you can to protect your investment. I’m not saying let her get away with metaphorical murder on and off the court. Understand she is a once-in-a-generation talent who not only moves the needle, but can help evolve the perception of the WNBA from an afterthought to a must-see attraction. She’s already been the catalyst of change for the Indiana Fever, as the team has really built something special attracting other players who want to play with Clark.
Now, consider the fact Clark is inspiring young girls and boys (and even old codgers like me) to play basketball like she does. That means you might see more Caitlins in the near future, so you might want to seed the ground now so you’re ready when they arrive. And that means you gotta stop setting her up for failure by risking her getting injured or frustrated to the point she can no longer play. Where Clark goes, the fans will go with her.
And speaking of failures, third, stop trying to make Angel Reese a thing. She’s not a good player, and when you consider I’m saying this, you know she’s bad. She’s supposed to be an elite inside player, but her game outside of rebounding sucks. The only thing she has going for her is the fact she’s not that different from a lot of current WNBA players: more meh than marvelous, but able to make a hockey fight look like a Buddhist rave. No amount of social media posts, red carpet events, and fashion shoots will make Angel Reese any better at her actual job.
And while we’re on the subject, the league needs to have a serious sit-down with the teams and explain a very simple concept to them: you’re getting paid to play basketball. Not target certain players to “teach them a lesson” about the way the WNBA is. Not flop more than Lebron James looking for calls, only to turn around and commit a live mugging at the other side of the court. Not spending time on social media promoting themselves or beefing with other players and fans. You. Are. There. To. Play. Basketball.
For the love of all that is holy, at least try to look like you can play offense and defense. A second-year player is making you look bad, just as she did in her rookie year. This is not a time to coast on past glory or because you haven’t had to do any more before now. The game is evolving because of Caitlin Clark, and you can either catch up to keep up or find yourselves left in the dust.
Finally, you have to demand accountability from all parts of the WNBA. That means more fines, ejections, and suspensions for egregious violations, and I’m not just talking about the players here. Coaches, referees, teams, and, yes, even the Commissioner need to be held to a higher standard. Because, and I can’t stress this enough, you are a professional sports league, so start acting like it. Anybody who bends or breaks the rules gets punished. It worked on me when my parents did it to me growing up, and it will work here.
This may be a fool’s errand falling on deaf ears, but as a basketball fan, I want to see the WNBA become more than it is today. That won’t happen without major changes in personnel, attitude, and rule enforcement. Time will tell if the WNBA takes me up on my suggestions (and, believe me, I am open to salary negotiations), but I remain hopeful.
Just like that little boy shooting hoops in the driveway hoping the basketball that goes soaring over the backboard and bouncing off the roof will eventually lead to better shooting.
Well, I’m still working on that, but I’m still hopeful!
Leftist Lexicon Word of the Week
With the illegal immigration situation heating up under President Donald Trump, the Left has taken it upon itself to try to keep him in check. So far, that’s been limited to supporting vi0lent criminals connected to existing gangs, crying “due process” at the drop of a hat, helping illegal immigrants avoid ICE agents, and the like. And they’ve been successful…in looking like dumbfucks.
But recently some Leftists decided to push the issue at a New Jersey ICE facility under the auspices of oversight. Now, as a Congresswoman has been charged with assault against an ICE agent and other Congresscritters starting a hand-wringing letter writing campaign, I can officially say they’ve succeeded in out-dumbfucking themselves.
Not all is lost, however. Not only to we get the chance to laugh at the absurdity of the situation, but we also get a chance to further examine what oversight is. (Okay, so the former may be better than the latter, but work with me, people!)
oversight
What the Left thinks it means – making sure the Executive Branch is doing what it should, no matter what it takes
What it really means – a concept that has escaped the federal government some time ago
The first question we should ask ourselves is “What does Thomas look like naked?” After throwing up the last 3 days of contents in our stomachs, we can move to a more relevant and less vomit-inducing question: who has the power of oversight and where does it come from? To answer the second question first, when a Mommy and a Daddy really love each other…
No, wait, that’s a different question. Never mind.
The power of oversight resides with Congress as an extension of Article I, Section 8, Clause 18 of the US Constitution. I say it’s an extension because it’s not really codified in the Constitution and came from where all good ideas start, the Supreme Court. In Anderson v. Dunn, a unanimous High Court ruled Congress had the authority to conduct oversight as a means to uphold its rules. Not a bad ruling overall, but it had the potential to be abused.
Like we’re seeing now.
These days oversight has been mostly a joke played on us by both major parties. Instead of keeping the Executive Branch in check, Congress has decided meaningless hearings and endless investigations that lead nowhere is the order of the day. Even when the evidence is so obvious even Stevie Wonder could see it, we’re treated to a lot of sound and fury, signifying…well, less than nothing.
How many times have we watched Congresscritters preen before the cameras with gotcha questions and more interruptions than Mel Tillis with the hiccups, only to have nothing get done as a result? Lois Lerner, Hillary Clinton, Peter Strzok, Anthony Fauci, and so many others (albeit most of them tend to swing to the Left) get grilled, found to make contradictory statements (also called lying) under oath, get exposed as frauds, and then…they get to walk out without so much as a wrinkle in their dress clothes. The aforementioned Mr. Wonder has better oversight.
This is due to one thing both major parties hold dear: not giving a fuck. When Republicans are in power, they don’t give a fuck about oversight because then they’ll be under the microscope when Democrats are in power, and vice versa. After all, if all the criminal behavior in the halls of power are exposed, the country as a whole could lose faith in our government.
Or as I call it, any given Tuesday.
Although I have to give props to the Congressional Democrats who decided to put oversight into hyperdrive, they made two key mistakes. First, Congressional oversight doesn’t extend to anyone who isn’t in Congress. That means Newark Mayor and potential gubernatorial candidate Ras Baraka doesn’t get to use it to cover his trespassing. Oops. In an attempt to come up with a suitable punishment for Mayor Baraka, I have the following solution: have him remain Mayor of Newark, New Jersey.
Second, and this is important, it doesn’t excuse you from any crimes committed while you’re doing this oversight. You know…like, oh I don’t know…physically assaulting people. Although potential fistfights in Congress is an entertaining prospect, we can’t let a legitimate (albeit underused) power devolve into violence. At least not until I can secure the Pay Per View rights and a cut of the concessions.
Now, before you Leftists continue to downplay the events and turn the Congresscritters involved into heroes, let me ask you a question. Why is it this same passion isn’t being tapped into when a Democrat is in the Oval Office? And the same goes for Republicans when there’s a Republican President. The very nature of politics is shady shit, so it behooves you to keep your house in order if for no other reason than to get a leg up on your competition.
Oh, and there’s the whole strengthening the tattered fabric of this country thing, too.
There’s a reason Congressional approval ratings are more underwater than the Titanic, and not even a Leonard DiCaprio/Kate Winslet vehicle with a Celine Dion song attached to it is going to fix it. For this situation to right itself, Congress has to take oversight a lot more seriously. Not to the extent of attacking ICE agents, mind you, but closer to holding bad actors accountable, regardless of which side of the political aisle they belong.
And that means no more endless investigations and multiple hearings without consequences. If you find out someone you’re investigating broke the law, charge his/her ass! It’s going to make the judicial system in the DC area work overtime and the prisons might be a bit overcrowded, but it’s worth it if only to keep the people we elect to high office in check, even if we can’t vote them out due to them having war chests the size of the combined GDP of third world countries.
Hey, if the Chicago Cubs can win a World Series in my lifetime, anything is possible!