I know, I know, everybody’s talking about Presidential pardons this week, but I’ve never been one to follow the obvious path. Besides, that subject has been done to death, resurrected, done to death again, resurrected again, and done to death a third time.
Instead, I have a riddle for you. What do Donald Trump, Daniel Penny, and Jack Phillips have in common? Aside from being relatively sure they all wear pants, breathe oxygen, and occasionally enjoy a little thing the kids like to call eating, they’re all the victims of lawfare. And, not coincidentally, Leftists also hate them for daring to defy their will.
And when you can’t beat ’em, you sue them…or something like that.
lawfare
What the Left thinks it means – a made-up term used to demean efforts to hold people accountable
What it really means – abusing the legal process to get what the Left wants, one way or another
As I said recently, the Left understands the power of money, even they don’t understand basic economics. And with that knowledge of power, they know how to use it to get what they want. Usually, this is done at the legislative level, but there are times when it moves into the halls of justice.
And not even the Super Friends can get them out.
Meanwhile, back at the main point, lawfare is how the Left uses the power of money to get what they want. With the help of trial lawyers (who tend to be Leftists either out of education or shame at getting paid tons of money to be shitty people), lawfare leverages the power of money and the legal system to dole out punishment.
This is done in one of two ways. First, there’s the gradual erosion of a target’s finances until he/she (because there’s still only two genders) is so poor by the end of the process any monetary judgments in his/her (still only two genders) favor get swallowed up by the fees incurred to fight the fight in the first place. That’s even worse than getting a moral victory.
The other way lawfare works is suing people into capitulation. In this way, the law becomes the punishment for not being a Leftist. Some victims would rather knuckle under when faced with the prospect of a lengthy legal process, so the Left gets what they want. That’s how the ACLU got any showing of Christian faith out of the public school system. I haven’t heard them trying to get Islam out of public schools yet, but I’m sure they’ll get around to it…maybe…you know, after the new year…in the 38th Century.
While we wait, we can take a look at the aforementioned lawfare victims to see the effects it has on them.
Jack Phillips: He is the owner of Masterpiece Cakeshop, which became Ground Zero for a legal battle over gay rights. When a same-sex couple came in and asked him to bake a cake for them. When Phillips refused, the couple filed a complaint to the Colorado Civil Rights Commission arguing the refusal violated public accommodations laws. After a lengthy process, the US Supreme Court gave Phillips the victory, but that didn’t stop Leftists from continuing to file lawsuits against him and his bakery. And that has cost him time, money, employees, and reputation. All because a gay couple tried to force him to bake a cake against his religious beliefs.
Donald Trump: Where do I begin with this one? When he wasn’t being President of the United States, he has had to deal with lawsuit after lawsuit, court case after court case. It’s not like he doesn’t have the money to fight back, but having to deal with the sheer volume of lawsuits, based on bullshit or not, is an emotional drain as well as a financial one. This one hits a little deeper than the Phillips situation because even if he gets the bulk of the suits tossed out because of the aforementioned bullshit, there will still be people who will point out he was still convicted. Can’t win for losing.
Daniel Penny: Although he’s the newest member of the lawfare club, he’s no stranger to the depths Leftists will go to punish a person. Penny was riding the subway in New York City when Jordan Neely started harassing fellow riders and threatened to kill people. Penny took Neely down and allegedly killed him with a chokehold. Even with the sheer number of witnesses, video footage, and expert testimony supporting his case, he’s still having to go through the legal process because the Left needs it to be another George Floyd situation. After all, why let a good made-up scandal go to waste?
In each case, the Left is using the law to extract a pound (or should I say ton) of flesh from their victims. But it has a ripple effect. Not only does it drain the spirit and bank accounts of those who get targeted, but it sends a message to others not to cross the Left or else you’ll get what the targets get. Most of the time, this works because, well, Leftists love to use the government to get you to comply. There’s a reason why the saying “You can’t fight City Hall” is still around today: because fighting City Hall is like taking on Mike Tyson in his prime, not when fighting a social media star.
And since not everyone can afford a lengthy court battle, most of the time we will have to give in, no matter how righteous the cause may be. The downside to that is it enables Leftists to keep using lawfare to get what they want. However, there are some things you can do en masse.
First, check to see if you elect judges. If so, they can be voted out, especially if they keep enabling lawfare instead of doing their jobs. Failing that, there’s always elections. As we’ve recently seen, it’s possible to change the direction of an area or even a country if enough people get out and vote out the bad actors. (If only we could do the same with Hollywood…)
But there is something else you can do: use your voice outside the ballot box. Whenever you see someone getting the shaft (because that cat Shaft is a bad mutha…), read up on the case and talk about it. Sunlight may be the best disinfectant, but social media makes that sunlight a fuckton more powerful.
Of course, there’s my favorite: pointing and laughing. Leftists hate to be mocked even a little bit. (See Bluesky for evidence.) When you see a Leftist engaging in lawfare, mock them mercilessly. Sure, you might get pulled into a lawsuit yourself because, well, Leftists are litigious babies, but you will have the First Amendment on your side. Or should have it on your side unless Leftists go judge shopping to find one who thinks the First Amendment is a suggestion. But, seeing a Leftist’s head explode as you turn their sacred cows into hamburger will warm even the chilliest of hearts.
Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to deal with 493 lawsuits filed by Leftists who are offended by me constantly pointing out there are two genders. See you when I get out of court!
Category: Guest Author
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Leftist Lexicon Word of the Week
As is the case when one party takes over the Presidency from the opposing party, there are going to be some changes. Some changes, like Cabinet appointees, are normal. Some changes, like the ones President Brick Tamland made so absolute freaks could join the military…not so much.
But there is one group the Left is freaking out about (you know, in between their freak outs over Donald Trump being President again). Headed up by Elon Musk and Vivek Ramaswamy, the Department of Government Efficiency, or DOGE, will attempt to do something near and dear to my heart: root out inefficiencies within the federal government behemoth and find ways to save money.
Which is why the Left is freaking out about it.
So, why all the fuss over a government entity, something Leftists love more than they love free cash from our old buddy Uncle George Soros? Well, let’s find out together!
the Department of Government Efficiency
What the Left thinks it means – a government entity that will threaten life, healthcare, and other needed social programs in the name of curtailing spending
What it really means – either a long-overdue government auditor or a fucking awesome troll
There’s an old saying: never fry bacon naked. More appropriately to this context, there is another old saying: money is power. And nowhere is this old saying more true than in the halls of government. As far as the other one, I’m not going to inquire whether it applies to government. Just…leave it be.
As odd as it sounds, the Left understands this much better than the Right does. They just don’t spend money well, as Queen Kamala the Appointed’s campaign proved. Still, they understand the power that comes with having wealth, which is why they tend to do what the wealthy want.
Sorry, Leftists. The only way you get a seat at the Adults’ Table is if your bankroll has more zeroes than the ones in your ranks.
Two of the ways government Leftists get money from you and me are taxes and regulations. Taxes are somewhat excusable because that’s how we should be funding out country. Regulations, on the other hand…well, that’s a whole different kettle of overpriced fish.
Regulatory agencies are like HOA boards. They write rules that everyone has to follow, even if they are contrary to what the people want and fly in the face of what most people would consider common sense. And if you violate those rules in any way? Fines up the ass. And who gets to handle any appeals? Usually…it’s the assholes who made the rules in the first place.
That means the natural enemy of the government Leftist is anyone who wants to change the grift…I mean system. Ron Paul to his credit (and to the chagrin of big government types) stayed pretty consistent when it came to wanting government to make sense, especially when it came to the Federal Reserve. His son Rand Paul is also a fan of reducing government waste, relating it to the Airing of Grievances from as a part of Festivus from “Seinfeld.” Others have also taken up the mantle ensuring government waste gets the attention it so richly deserves.
And guess who else has made it a priority? Donald Muthafuckin’ Trump.
While Democrats understand the power of money, Republicans in recent years have come to understand the power of not wasting money. This hasn’t always been the case, unfortunately, as there are more than a few Republicans okay with spending money we don’t have on shit we don’t need or that could be obtained at a lower cost.
And it’s not the cranks on the Right with zero influence. Deregulation has been a cornerstone issue for many Republicans like Ted Cruz for the same reason fiscally responsible adults don’t go out and buy a new Ferrari every two weeks: it’s ultimately a waste of money, no matter how good you look in it. If a product or service is required to go through unnecessary rounds of regulatory trials, it costs money. And when you consider some of the things the federal government let pass that ultimately turned out to be harmful, maybe deregulation isn’t such a bad thing after all.
And if you Leftists doubt me, riddle me this. Why aren’t there snacks with Olestra in them anymore? Two words: anal leakage.
So, for Trump to even float the idea of an entity to audit government spending is a pretty big step, and it’s a step too far for Leftists out there. To rub a Great Salt Lake’s worth of salt into the wound, he picked Elon Musk to head it up. Now, Musk isn’t on too many Leftist Christmas card lists anymore because he decided the Left was nuttier than squirrel shit and wasn’t afraid to say it. He even went so far as to buy the Social Media Platform Formerly Known As Twitter and made it open for more free expression, unlike the pre-Musk days when Leftists could get people kicked off the platform for daring to exist in their space! The absolute nerve!
The other part of the power couple from Deregulation Hell is Vivek Ramaswamy, former Presidential candidate and by all accounts not to the Left of Ronald Reagan a smart and friendly guy. Although the Left will give us plenty of explanations as to why the Department of Government Efficiency won’t work, I think it’s clear why the Left doesn’t like it.
Leftists don’t want an African-American man and a person of color to succeed, and that’s racist.
Seriously (or at least as seriously as I can make it), the Left fear the Department of Government Efficiency might actually work and root out the kind of cost overruns and unnecessary spending that would put a lot of politicians out of a job…at least until they got a lobbying gig, but you see the point. Donald Trump has mastered the game of politics. Yes, he’ll still make boneheaded decisions, but when it comes to beating the Left at their own game, he is Bobby Fischer and they are Bobby Boucher, only not as good at football.
And that’s why there’s a part of me that thinks the Department of Government Efficiency may be the biggest troll in modern history.
Trump loves to needle his critics, which they aren’t used to because they’re thin-skinned little pussies who live in communities where their ideas are never challenged. As such, he has become the Trollmaster In Chief, throwing rhetorical jabs like Mike Tyson in his prime. Or Jake Paul when the fight is rigged.
The thing that makes me think the Department of Government Efficiency is one of these rhetorical jabs is in the first letters of the department, DOGE. For those of you who have lives, Dogecoin is a cryptocurrency made popular by…drumroll please…Elon Musk. And what else is it known as in some circles? Doge.
I wouldn’t put it past Trump to have created this department as a joke just to see Leftists’ heads explode. It is just too fucking perfect and a way to make his detractors lose their collectivist minds. And if it is a troll, I will stand up and give him a slow clap because it’s that awesome of a troll.
On the other hand, if it’s a serious proposal, I am all for it. Government waste caused by bad spending decisions and worse regulatory decisions needs to be addressed while we might be able to not spend ourselves into oblivion. With a lofty goal of $2 trillion in spending cuts, it’s a definite start towards fiscal responsibility. Having said that, I will be keeping tabs on the government waste and verifying if there is more to be cut elsewhere that wasn’t on the chopping block. (I’m looking at you, Department of Defense.)
In the meantime, I will be buying up a lot of popcorn stock because the next four years are gonna be fun.
Project 2025: What They Don’t Want to Tell You!
Although my hetero lifemate Chris did a fantastic job at discussing Project 2025 in a recent post, I wanted to weigh in a bit more on this subject, too. In the land of social media, there was a lot of buzz surrounding what was in this evil plan to take over America and turn it into a dystopian nightmare (even though it didn’t happen the first time Donald Trump was President), but now it’s super-duper-serious! There’s actually…a plan!!!!!!
Over the past several months, I have compiled a number of statements about Project 2025 and what it will totally definitely do once Donald Trump makes it official. What I’m about to list are actual statements made by people who at least resemble adults. Parental discretion is advised.
End No Fault Divorce
Complete ban on abortions without exceptions
Ban contraceptives
Additional tax breaks for the 1% and corporations
Higher taxes for the working class
Elimination of unions and worker protections
Raise the retirement age
Cut Social Security
Cut Medicare
End the Affordable Care Act
Raise prescription drug prices
Eliminate the Department of Education
Use public, taxpayer money for private religious schools
End free and discounted school lunch programs
End civil rights and DEI protections in government
Ban African American and gender studies in all levels of education
Deregulate big business and the oil industry
Promote and expedite capital punishment
End marriage equality
Condemn single mothers while promoting only “traditional families”
Defund the FBI and Homeland Security
Use the military to break up domestic protests
Mass deportation of immigrants and incarceration in “camps”
End birth right citizenship
Ban Muslims from entering the country
Continue to pack the Supreme Court and lower courts with right-wing justices
Connected to Donald Trump
End programs that address climate change
End public education
Persecute LGBTQ+ Americans
Encourage racial discrimination
Mass deportation and reduce immigration
Insert Christian Nationalist ideology into the mainstream
Give unchecked power to the President
Restrict IVF access
Family separation
Muslim ban
Tax cuts for the ultra wealthy
Replace civil servants with MAGA loyalists
Guns in classrooms
Order prosecution of political opponents
Pardon January 6 insurrectionists
Pathway for Trump to become permanent dictator
Put Medicare on the path to privatization
Repeal President Biden’s drug price negotation program
Threaten Medicare coverage
Reverse the Biden Administration’s student debt relief efforts
Withdraw from the UN Framework Convention on climate change and the Paris Climate Agreement
Repeal the Inflation Reduction Act
Shred greenhouse gas regulations and gut clean energy programs
Replace the WH climate advisor with someone focused on boosting fossil fuels
Give Trump the power to reject all climate science research directed by the Biden Administraiton
Gut the federal workforce and install loyalists
Allow Trump to deploy the military against American citizens
Allow ICE to conduct raids at schools, churches, hospitals, playgrounds, and other sensitve areas
Make federal government establish marriage between a man and a woman
Withdraw federal anti-discrimination protections for transgender students
Reimplement Trump’s transgender military ban and expel transgender service members
Reverse the FDA’s approval of abortion medication
Invoke the Comstock Act to ban the shipment of abortion pills
Compel states to report the “reason” for every abortion performed
Allow states to ban employers from providing health benefits that cover abortion care
Eliminate the Department of Education
Use public funds to pay for private religious schools
Encourage Christian indoctrination through public schools
Dismantle Civil Rights and DEI protections at all level of government
Eliminate no fault divorce
Total ban on abortions regardless of viability or health of the mother
Ban all contraceptives
Ban African American and Gender studies at all levels of education
Tax cuts for major corporations and 1% while increasing taxes on the rest
Eliminating unions and all worker protections
Eliminating all climate protections
Encourages arctic drilling
Eliminating regulations of big business and oil
Raise retirement age
Eliminate Social Security for the elderly and disabled
Promotes capital punishment and the speedy “finality” of such sentences
Condemns single mothers while encouraging “traditional families”
Only recognize traditional families by overturning Obergefell v Hodges in attempts to eliminate LBGTQIA community
Dismantling the FBI and Homeland Security
Use of military to break up protests
Eliminating Head Start and the free/discounted school lunch program
Banning books and curriculum regarding slavery
Forcing immigrants to be deported or held in camps and ends birth right citizenship
Banning Muslims from entering the country
Dismantles the FDA, EPA, NOAA, and more
Pack the Supreme Court with extreme far-right judges
Funding decrease for the DOJ
Dismantling the DOC
Dismantling the DHS
Eliminate independence for the FCC and FTC
Terminate DEI programs
Implement “unitary executive theory” expand the power of the President
Restructure and repurpose the DOJ
Replace career federal employees with hand-picked loyalists
Reverse FDA approval of Mifepristone
Rename HHS “Department of Life”
Add work requirements to receive Medicaid
Condemn single motherhood and same-sex marriage
Eliminate the terms “sexual orientation,” “diversity, equality, and Inclusion,” “gender equality,” “abortion” and “reproductive rights” from all laws and federal regulations
Terminates the Constitution
Guts democratic checks and balances on Presidential power
Ban President Biden’s bipartisan infrastructure law
Cease support for international organizations that promote LBGTQ+ equality
Stopping cybersecurity efforts to combat mis- and disinformation
Deprioritize DACA
Abolish the Gender Policy Council
Cutting ties with China
Reversing protections against discrimination in housing.
Tracking potential employees’ opinions
Employers can cut or eliminate overtime
Pretty extensive list. I will warn you there may be duplicates because a) there are so many ways to phrase the same thing, and b) Leftists aren’t that imaginative.
As I promised in the title, I am going to tell you something they don’t want you to know about Project 2025. Brace yourselves because I’m about to drop a truth bomb on you.
Almost everything the Left tells us about Project 2025 is complete bullshit.
I’ll give you a moment to catch your breaths.
Ready? Here we go.
One of the most common traits of each of the things said about Project 2025 listed above (and others that I didn’t catch) is the lack of attribution. Out of the claims I posted, only 1 gave a page number. And since I had a handy-dandy copy of the Project 2025 document, I was able to look up the page number and read what the poster claimed was there. And, surprise surprise, it wasn’t. It was a gross misrepresentation of what the document actually said.
That means the vast majority of claims made were made without a page number, just a “trust me, bro” as its attribution. So, when I looked for the verbiage used in the claims and came up emptier than a Kamala Harris victory party, that was a huge red flag that the post was utter bullshit. To borrow a phrase from the late Christopher Hitchens:
What can be asserted without evidence can also be dismissed without evidence.
That may have worked well for Mr. Hitchens, but I’m more of a research nut, so I took the additional (and, admittedly, unnecessary) effort to look it up myself. Then, I could say what I found, point to what section(s) I read, and give more attribution than the poster could muster.
And, as you might expect, that wasn’t met with respect and an honest appreciation for finding the facts. Let’s just say the people I interacted with were on a really long boat trip in Egypt. If I didn’t know any better, I’d say the Left was…lying.
I’m kidding. Of course I know they were lying, but they don’t want to tell you that. Hence the title.
And with that, we’ve come full circle! I love it when a blog post comes together.
Extremist Makeover: MSNBC Edition
If the 2024 elections taught me anything, it’s how much the mainstream media’s influence is waning. And by waning, I mean tanking more than Michael Dukakis in a helmet. And if you got that reference, you are officially old. Welcome to the club!
But there’s one cable news network that has been hit the hardest: MSNBC, or as I call it “the Bluesky of cable news.” (And, for you MSNBC viewers out there, that’s not a positive thing.) Ratings are down, NBC is considering splitting MSNBC from its holdings (it’s not them, it’s you), and even high profile stars like Rachel Maddow are having to take pay cuts.
If anyone needed an Extremist Makeover, it’s MSNBC. Good thing I’m here to help!
Right now, MSNBC is directionless. They can go back to being the “Orange Man Bad” channel (as if they ever stopped), but that route has diminishing returns in its future. They’ve lost a lot of credibility following every Trump-related conspiracy theory and inviting on figures like Adam Schiff to perpetuate those conspiracy theories. They’re behind the times when it comes to reverting back to more straight news, as CNN has already tried to take a step back towards the middle from the hinterlands of Leftistinistan.
Not exactly an enviable position to say the least!
There are two choices that come to mind, neither one attractive in the grand scheme, but necessary to try to sustain an audience. The first is to try to appeal to the middle ground. You can still have Rachel Maddow, but you would also need someone on the other side (preferably not from the not-quite-as-insane-as-Joy-Reid-but-you-can-see-her-sanitarium-from-here group) to balance the scales and offer a different perspective.
And speaking of Joy Reid, you’re gonna have to let her go, as well as a few others. Al Sharpton, Lawrence O’Donnell, Chris Hayes, and hosts of others shouldn’t even be allowed in the newsroom if they were getting coffee for the real journalists. They should rightly be shown the door if for no other reason than to eliminate redundancies. Heck, Chris Hayes and Rachel Maddow are practically twins as it is, so why not get rid of the less talented one?
A change in ownership may also be in MSNBC’s future, which could go a long ways towards righting this left-leaning ship. One of the names being bandied about is Elon Musk, who knows a thing or two about bringing balance to a media outlet, as all the Leftists fleeing the Social Media Site Formerly Known As Twitter can attest. Or would if you didn’t get banned off Bluesky for not being Leftist enough.
On the other hand, it may be too late for MSNBC to gain any amount of credibility in the eyes of the media consuming public. In that case, maybe it’s time to lean into the nitwit Leftist conspiracy theories. Go all out! Rename yourself MSNBlueAnonC and let anyone with an idea that makes Trump look like the Dictator-du-jour. Is there fluoride in your drinking water? Trump did it! Step in some dog waste on your way into a San Francisco Whole Foods? Trump literally just took a dump right there! Make the Weekly World News look like the New York Times!
Wait, wait. I have to apologize for that last line. In no way, shape, or form was I attempting to question the journalistic integrity and prowess of a highly respected newspaper by comparing it to the New York Times. I’m sorry. Now please don’t sic Bat Boy on me!
Anyway, if you’re going to cater to the marginally coherent crowd, make sure it’s the best catering you can do. Sure, this will further tank your credibility and will shrink your audience smaller than the number of people who still want to see the Snow White movie when/if it comes out, but it will be fun. And when you really think about it, if you know you’re on the Titanic and about to plunge to an icy demise, why not have a little fun with it? Do the biggest cannonball you can and never regret it for a second!
Either way, I hope you folks at MSNBC take my advice. Especially on that second option because, although I can’t guarantee its success, I can guarantee it will make me laugh a lot.
Leftist Lexicon Word of the Week
Hollywood loves reboots like they love hookers and blow, and they really love hookers and blow. Sometimes these reboots work out (like the updated version of the Planet of the Apes movies, minus the Tim Buron-directed abomination). Sometimes they don’t (like the flaming shit-show that is the unreleased “Snow White”).
When Elon Musk bought Twitter and turned it into the Social Media Platform Formerly Known as Twitter, Leftists started looking for alternatives because they would no longer be able to count on high-ranking Leftists to censor those icky conservatives opinions that didn’t violate the Terms of Service, but did violate their fee-fees.
Now, they’ve found one, a little thing the kids like to call Bluesky. It’s relatively new, but it’s already boasting over 20 million users with a lot of them being former X users (so ex-X users. Thank you! Tip your waitstaff!) departing the social media site after Donald Trump won the Presidency for a second time with help from Elon Musk.
So, shall we take a trip into the Blue-niverse? (Thank you! Please hold your applause!) Even if you don’t want to, we’re going!
Bluesky
What the Left thinks it means – a social media site where like-minded people can share their opinions without fear of being censored by right wingers
What it really means – the digital version of Air America
After decades of having control over most of the popular media of the time, Leftists have had to adapt to a new environment where their control was no longer as secure as it once was. Talk radio, lead by the late Rush Limbaugh, started becoming the alternative to the squawking heads people once looked to for news. And, yes, there are plenty of examples of talk radio hosts getting shit wrong, but it didn’t matter. The Left no longer controlled the flow of information.
As a result, Leftists tried to ride the wave of talk radio success by creating Air America. Basically, what the brain trust behind it thought was all they had to do was replace Rush Limbaugh with Al Franken and watch the money roll in. Only, it didn’t. Talk radio wasn’t plug-and-play. You actually had to have personalities people want to listen to, and Air America really didn’t. Oh, they had an audience, but it was far smaller than the normal talk radio audience. Say what you will about Limbaugh, he knew how to entertain (which is ironic because Al Franken was on “Saturday Night Live” when it was actually funny).
And then Air America came in with a whimper and went out with a popcorn fart. You’re lucky to find anyone around my age to even remember Air America was something other than a Mel Gibson movie these days, and the only reason I remember it is because I’m just that lame. Nevertheless, the point is Leftists really don’t know how to catch up when someone outside of their ideological bubble races ahead of them.
Which brings us to Bluesky.
What Musk has done for X is so logical, it’s no surprise Leftists hate it. Instead of letting one side of the political aisle run roughshod over anyone who disagreed with their enlightened (and utterly dumb) opinions, Musk brought at least some semblance of neutrality to the platform. Which pissed off Leftists to no end. After all, if there’s one thing Leftists hate more than Donald Trump and Elon Musk, it’s having their positions challenged in any way. So, after spending all this time talking smack about the platform (while still on said platform), they took their balls and went home…to Bluesky.
Now, I’m not going to say it’s a flaming Port-A-Potty over there because, well, that would be unfair to flaming Port-A-Potties. Oh, sure, you’ll still find decent posts about nature and science, but most of the stuff being posted on there is straight-up Beyond Thunderdome shit. Aside from being accused of censoring conservative viewpoints as well as pro-Palestinian posts, they’re driving other Leftists away for…dare I say it…not being Leftist enough.
Great way to build up the world’s most tolerant echo chamber!
In the post-election environment we find ourselves in, this isn’t all that unusual. Leftists always look for people to blame for their election failures because it’s a hell of a lot easier than saying, “Ya know, we really fucked up here.” With Bluesky, the only difference is the venue.
Oh, and the level of batshit insanity.
Fortunately, you don’t have to go on Bluesky to see it. Some brave soul is going into Bluesky and picking out the best of the worst and putting it on X. Whomever you are, my few remaining brain cells and I thank you.
If you don’t want to get an X account (like your humble correspondent), there is still humor to be found out of the batshit insanity when you consider the possibility the Bluesky Leftists are screaming into the void (albeit an intellectual one) of their own creation. Then, it becomes a contest to try to “prove” how Leftist you are, which will lead to more fighting with the freak show.
Cue Thunderdome! Two Leftists enter, one Leftist leaves!
And we’ll have to deal with a potential shortage of popcorn…
An Open Letter to the Left
Hey, kids. It’s your internet buddy, Thomas. Listen, we need to talk about what just happened a couple of weeks ago. You know when your side lost to Donald Trump, again?
Now, this isn’t going to be one of those pieces where I mock your misfortune. There’s plenty of time to do that, and trust me I will. Instead, this piece has more of a serious tone, but will occasionally move into humorous terrain because I’m a firm believer politics is too serious a topic not to make fun of it.
So, with that being said, let me start with a question: what in the red, white, and blue fuck is wrong with you? Seriously, I’ve seen Chicago Bears fans this year take losses better than you have.
But that’s not the issue I have with you right now. I expect you to be sore losers because you’re sore winners. Where I’m coming from is what you refuse to learn from this ass-whupping and how it’s going to fuck you sideways in future elections unless you figure this shit out.
Let’s start with the Democatic scapegoat…I mean candidate, Kamala Harris. She had three and a half years to show she could fill in for Joe Biden and she failed. Now, you could (and definitely have) tried to chalk this up to racism, sexism, homophobia, xenophobia, agoraphobia (probably), and a metric shit-ton of other buzzwords, but there is a simpler reason.
She positively sucked as a candidate.
A lot of that falls at her feet. She didn’t have a clear, consistent message that resonated with anyone with higher than a third grade education for starters. I mean, “joy” as one of the many campaign trial (and mostly error) balloons? That’s about as fucking stupid as a candidate whose entire campaign could be boiled down to “hope” and “change.” But, I’m sure no one would ever be dumb enough to run such a candidate…okay, never mind.
The point is nothing she did seemed to be relatable because it truly felt she was only reciting squawking points without even a micron of sincerity. Except when it came to calling Donald Trump and his followers fascists because that always works, right?
Ooooooh. That didn’t work this time, did it? See, what works for your party faithful may not work for anyone else. And it leads to another aspect of her failed campaign: nobody who worked on it knows a fucking thing about what the electorate wants or needs. When Ms. Harris wasn’t dodging live interviews with people who might ask her a question more difficult than “What color is the red fire truck?” she was talking down to us, as were her surrogates and media types (who were pretty much one in the same). And last time I checked, joy didn’t pay the fucking bills.
And given how much she spent on celebrities, I really don’t think I’d trust her to run a tab at an all-you-can-drink water bar, let alone propose new spending to drive up the national debt even higher. I mean, she raised over a billion dollars and still came up a couple mil in the hole? But I’m sure it was money well wasted.
And while we’re here, whose idea was it to drag out celebrities who don’t have to take out a second mortgage to get a dozen eggs to tell us all how Kamala Harris is going to make our lives better? If you find out, make sure he or she is never allowed to do anything more complicated than getting coffee for the campaign staff, and even then double check to make sure the orders didn’t get fucked up. A pretty tall order, if not a grande or vente.
Meanwhile back at the clusterfuck that is the Left, there is a point you need to seriously consider, but you probably won’t because it would lead to enlightenment and self-reflection, that being you made the Trump victory possible. Who hid Joe Biden’s cognitive decline and gaslighted anyone who pointed out he wasn’t playing well with reality? That was you. Who decided to push away a Kennedy from the party? You again! Who tried to push Biden out of the race well after he had secured the nomination? Also you. Who decided to make one of the least popular Vice Presidents in modern history into the Second Coming of Barack Obama? Still you.
See a pattern forming here, kids?
And that’s only on your side of the aisle. You also made Donald Trump into a sympathetic figure. Convicted of 34 felonies, survivor of at least 2 known assassination attempts, the target of Leftists within the halls of power at the local, state, and federal levels, the center of a number of prove lies, and being accused of being weird, fascist, and the end of democracy as we know it. This should have been a slam dunk for Harris, but you assholes snatched defeat from the jaws of victory, and removed the lack of a popular vote victory that you saddled him with in 2016.
If your goal was to make Michael Dukakis in a tank look like George W. Bush on an aircraft carrier, mission accomplished. If your goal was to make Kamala Harris a viable Presidential candidate, boy did you fuck that up!
While you’re busy coming up with excuses to remove your fingerprints off Trump 47, there should be a moment of self-reflection when you realize no amount of Lady MacBeth-esque scrubbing will get your grubby fingerprints off the Election 2024 clusterfuck.
But when you’re ready to make progress instead of making stupid blue wristbands so you can recognize each other as you cosplay as The Handmaid’s Tale, it’s time you face some really hard truths.
1. Pissing off potential voters isn’t ever a winning strategy.
2. Acting like you’re smarter than you actually are will only make you look like assholes.
3. You are way too intellectually and ideologically insulated to know what your policies are doing to people outside of your circles.
4. You have no real bench for the 2028 Presidential election because you’re too focused on identity politics.
5. With the LGBTQIALEUCOMEONYOUCANNOTADDMOREFUCKINGLETTERSANDSYMBOLSTOTHISMOMENT+ community, you are trying to appeal to a fraction of a fraction of the population, which guarantees you will continue to be trounced in the polls.
But if recent polling is accurate, you idiots want Kamala Harris to run again in 2028.
You know, maybe getting pimp-slapped by the Right repeatedly is the best possible outcome for you. Maybe then you’ll figure this shit out and stop pissing off people you need to vote for you.
Leftist Lexicon Word of the Week
With the reelection of Donald Trump, Leftists took the realization Queen Kamala the Appointed wasn’t going to be President as well as you’d expect: by being bat-shit insane. I mean, even worse than they normally are, which is saying a lot from an ideological group that thinks trans women can get pregnant.
Well, some of those trans men may have to pick up the slack, thanks to a movement Leftists women adopted in the wake of Trump’s victory. It’s called the 4B movement, and it’s…well, we’ll get into that after the break.
4B movement
What the Left thinks it means – women protesting the patriarchy by cutting off any relationship or sexual ties with men
What it really means – Leftist women co-opting a movement because Orange Man Bad
The origins of 4B has its roots in a South Korean feminist movement in the mid-to-late-2010s. The tenets of 4B are as follows:
no sex with men
no giving birth
no dating men
no marriage with men
In other words, my dating history prior to meeting my wife.
The driving force behind 4B is a desire to reject the “normal” family dynamic and the male-dominated culture that perpetuates it. Given the culture in South Korea and the challenges women face as a result of it, there is a legitimate need for such a movement, even if I may not align with them politically. I firmly believe there are things women can do as well as a man, if not better, and that women should be given the chance to succeed or fail on their merits.
So, naturally, Leftist women in America have to go and fuck it up.
Before they could get warmed up for their epic meltdowns, Leftist women were looking into 4B thanks to social media. Yes, the same outlets where people do stupid dances or post images of food are responsible for this movement coming to our shores. To which I say fuck you very much.
Or not.
And the thought behind this is just as shallow as the “influencers” on the aforementioned social media sites. Because Donald Trump appointed Supreme Court Justices who…horror of horrors…told the country abortion was a state issue, the misogyny of men not wanting to vote for Queen Kamala the Appointed because she ran a campaign so bad it made Walter Mondale circa 1984 look like Ronald Reagan circa 1984, and Orange Man Bad, of course, Leftist women are going to…adopt conservative values.
Holy self-own, Batman!
But it gets even better when you consider the Left’s fascination with abortion. Not only was it one of Queen Kamala the Appointed’s campaign cornerstones, but it’s a wedge issue that has worked time and time again in getting votes from a wide swath of the female population. Didn’t work this time, but that’s a blog post for another day.
Anyway, imagine the impact of Leftist women not having sex. Aside from making Tinder a lot easier for horny men to find a hook-up, it has the potential to reduce the number of abortions done. And what was one of the reason Leftist women want to adopt 4B?
Abortion rights.
Looks like Planned Parenthood is going to need even more federal funds to keep the doors open. Good luck with that with the incoming Administration and Congress, ladies.
To make matters worse (and by worse I mean a lot funnier), Leftist women are doing everything they can to repel men. Many are shaving their heads, getting tattoos or blue bracelets to show they voted for Queen Kamala the Appointed (and, thus, “safe”), or even suggesting men should be poisoned. Because that’s completely rational and totally not ultra-turbo-psycho-bitch behavior.
There are a lot of jokes I could make about Leftist women taking this tack, like how a significant chunk of the women backing 4B in America won’t have to worry about ever needing to get an abortion because they are less likely to have sex than an Amish eunuch, but that’s not what I do. That kind of superficiality only matches the superficiality of the women deciding to adopt 4B and, to be frank (or if you prefer, Steve), they really don’t deserve it.
Now, pointing and laughing, on the other hand…
Seriously, kids, it’s hard for me to take the Americanized version of 4B seriously because it makes no sense on any level and it reduces women to their lady parts…which is what a lot of immature men already do. Leftists believe women’s vaginas create a sisterhood that requires all women to think, speak, and most importantly vote a certain way. Otherwise you’re betraying your gender.
Unless, of course, there are women to the right of Gloria Steinem. Then, fuck those women!
But there is no such sisterhood, and there never has been. Men don’t think, act, and vote a certain way because we all have dicks. We do that because we’re men. We are pretty simple creatures when you get right down to it. It’s hard-wired into our DNA from Ug on down.
Women, by contrast, are much more complex, and I for one am glad for that. The females of the species are more in tune with their emotions (which explains a lot about the Leftist women signing on for 4 years of 4B when you think about it) because it’s hard-wired into their DNA. A woman is a marvel of creation, able to be a fierce lover and a fierce fighter depending on the situation, being the one responsible for carrying life within her body, and having the intelligence to guide her male counterpart towards a better way.
But Leftist women believe in the Sisterhood of the Traveling Vajayjay.
Call me crazy (and I’m sure you will if you haven’t already), but that comes off as incredibly condescending and, dare I say it (Spoiler Alert: I do dare), rather misogynistic. By viewing everything through the pussy prism, Leftists strip away everything that makes women special and turns them into objects without agency. As bad as you Leftists think Donald Trump is, you aren’t much better.
It will be interesting to see how long Leftist women will keep up with the tenets of 4B. It might last as long as a TikTok dance fad or go on and on like “The View.” In either case, I think I can speak for a good chunk of the American male population with this simple sentence.
Your terms are acceptable.
Leftist Lexicon Word of the Week
I’ve followed Presidential politics for most of my life, so very little surprises me. But there are times when a new concept will make me take notice, sometimes because it’s so novel, other times because it’s so fucking stupid.
The 2024 election introduced such a concept. While watching a TikTok video of a Queen Kamala the Appointed supporter, I heard her repeating the phrase “red mirage, blue shift.” Naturally, I thought she was insane, but it intrigued me enough to look into it a bit further.
Turns out she might have been insane after all.
red mirage/blue shift
What the Left thinks it means – a phenomenon when a Republican candidate leads in the early polls only to lose support as the votes are counted
What it really means – a stupid ploy designed so Leftists get their hopes up
The concept of the red mirage and blue shift came into being in the 2020 election where Donald Trump lead in key battleground states, only to lose to President Brick Tamland as more votes were fabricated…I mean counted. I forgot, election denial is bad…or is it these days now Queen Kamala the Appointed got spanked? I guess we’ll find out soon.
Either way, the fact there are adults who placed so much faith in Donald Trump being so unpopular that he could never win the Presidency ever again that they invented a term to describe it is mind-blowing. And then to bring it back in 2024? I know Leftists believe in recycling, but shitty ideas should be left alone, not turned into a self-delusional mantra.
The core of the red mirage/blue shift idea is based on election uncertainty. With many elections, no one has a handle on who is ahead or behind, so there is a lot of guesswork by people paid way too much to be inaccurate. Yet, they are. There’s an entire cottage industry in political circles for people who make meteorologists look like Nostradamus, and they are paid well to come up with shit politicians, pundits, and media squawking heads take as gospel. What’s next, checking biorhythms, horoscopes, and tea leaves to see how Jethro G. Pigfucker is going to vote in the upcoming election for county dog catcher?
Given some of the politicians, pundits, and media squawking heads out there, I might have just figured out how they make their predictions.
Anyway, the point is there is too much emphasis being placed on a common phenomenon in politics. Nobody knows who is going to win for sure until all the votes are counted, and anyone who tells you differently is trying to sell you something, namely their prognostication abilities.
And while we’re here, the assholes who came up with the concept in 2020 sold Leftists a bill of goods not borne out by a little thing the kids like to call repetition. To put it mildly, the 2020 election was a clusterfuck of clusterfuckian proportions. It would have taken a lot to recreate the conditions that helped President Brick Tamland win the White House to help Queen Kamala the Appointed limp across the finish line.
And by a lot, I mean a lot of cheating…I mean vote counting.
Even though I think Donald Trump lost the 2020 Presidential election, I still think there was enough fuckery to question the results. I would have gone about it differently than the Trump Team did, mind you, but it’s not as outrageous as the Left would make it out to be. After all, they did it, too.
Regardless, there was a major problem the Left didn’t anticipate this year: Queen Kamala the Appointed is no President Brick Tamland. Say what you will about the man, he is charismatic. Dumb as a bag of hammers, but charismatic. Queen Kamala got the first half down, but didn’t bother to pick up the second half. Kinda hard to get a blue shift going when your candidate is less popular than an IRS agent with the Clap.
But the Left bought into Kamalamania…after saying she was dragging President Tamland down. And in doing so, they were heavily invested in the possibility a blue shift would come immediately following the red mirage. And as you might have guessed if you’ve been watching Leftists on social media, that didn’t happen. The possibility of Donald Trump getting and keeping a lead didn’t even cross their minds.
That’s the danger of believing so heavily in the red mirage/blue shift idea. It deludes people into thinking the tides of political fortune are so mercurial. Even in close elections, there is rarely a point where there is a fundamental shift that flips the results like we saw in 2020. It’s the political equivalent of a unicorn, only the unicorn doesn’t have the nuclear codes…that we know of…
Hey, at least with the unicorn, we wouldn’t have to worry about someone accidentally starting World War III while thinking he or she was ordering a sandwich.
The point is the red mirage/blue shift isn’t a real thing, nor should it be considered one. It’s a fantasy dreamed up by people who want Leftists to win so badly that they’re willing to lie about its frequency to get voters’ hopes up that the Republican candidate can’t win. To those people and the Leftists who believe them, I have three words.
President Trump, bitches.
Forget It, He’s Rolling…
Now that Election 2024 is pretty much over (I’m looking at you, Arizona), people who get paid a lot of money to be wrong about political subjects are going to offer up their opinions of why Donald Trump won and/or why Queen Kamala the Appointed lost. (The short answer: Kamala took the wrong pages from the Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton books on running a political campaign.) And these overpaid idiots will come up with all sorts of excuses about white women this and black men that, and they will be completely wrong and yet still keep getting paid to recite the same bullshit.
So, instead of listening to overpaid idiots, listen to this unpaid idiot!
As with any political campaign or storyline, there is a familiar story that runs through it. Some are as old as Bernie Sanders, while others are fresh and new like the ink on the mortgage of his fifth vacation home. Ain’t democratic socialism great, kids?
This year’s election started out a little on the familiar side with Donald Trump winning the Republican nomination. The only question was whether President Brick Tamland would run against him. And by run, I mean stumble off in one direction and then another while looking more confused than the Socialist Socialite ordering Starbucks with only three possible options.
After President Tamland dropped out, Queen Kamala the Appointed took over and began stinking up the campaign trail with her tone-deaf rhetoric. The more she talked, the more she came off like a moralizing rich kid. Her surrogates on the campaign and in the media (which is pretty much the same thing) echoed the smug, “look at us, we’re so decent” attitude their candidate recited (when she wasn’t reminding us she grew up in a middle class household).
And what were they saying about the Trump campaign and its supporters? They were the worst of the worst! Crude, immoral, disgusting people whose opinions shouldn’t matter to good people like those on the other side trying to preserve democracy from them! They even tried to get Trump in trouble through any means necessary, including a radical use of the rules to try to get him out of the campaign! Even through these means, they just couldn’t get rid of Trump! He and his merry band of miscreants got their revenge and ultimately defeated the forces of Queen Kamala the Appointed!
That’s when it hit me. I’ve seen this story before. It took me a while to figure it out, but after a little thought, I remembered! And the more I thought about it, the more it fit this election cycle.
Election 2024 was “Animal House.”
Think about it! Trump was Bluto. JD Vance was Otter (and he’s damn glad to meet you). President Tamland was Dean Wormer. Tim Walz was Doug Neidermeyer. Queen Kamala the Appointed was a race and gender-swapped Greg Marmalard. Assistant Health Secretary Rachel Levine was Flounder. If you really wanted to draw out this premise more, I’m sure you could find parallels with the mainstream media pundits all acting as Kevin Bacon’s character crying “All is well!”
Even if it doesn’t work all the way, it’s in your heads now. You’re welcome. And at the very worst, you got your money’s worth out of this Election 2024 analysis!
Leftist Lexicon Word of the Week
Every election cycle has its share of “I can’t believe that shit happened” moments, and Election 2024 is no exception. Seeing a major party candidate working at a McDonalds drive-thru and then riding around in a garbage truck just to mock Queen Kamala the Appointed and her sycophants? That’s what passes for normal these days.
But what isn’t so normal, at least to Leftists, is Queen Kamala not getting endorsements from major newspapers like the Washington Post, the Los Angeles Times, and USA Today. As you might expect, the Left didn’t take this very well. I mean, this is the most important Presidential election in world history (you know, since the last one), and Queen Kamala the Appointed needs every possible endorsement she can get because ORANGE MAN BAD! Who cares about maintaining a veneer of neutrality and not pissing off potential customers to the right of Vladimir Lenin? This is much more important because if Donald Trump gets reelected, he’s going to destroy the mainstream media and put political enemies in concentration camps!
Do you Leftists want me to vote for Trump? Because this is how you get me to vote for Trump!
Seriously, though, this got me to thinking (a scary thought in and of itself) about endorsements in the social media age and why Leftists think it’s important to get them. The answer, my friends, is blowing in the wind…or might be in this edition of the Leftist Lexicon. You know, whichever.
endorsements
What the Left thinks it means – vital messages from important sources designed to inspire you to vote for a candidate
What it really means – not-that-important messages from sources of varying degrees of presumed importance designed to make you believe bullshit
There was a time in our history when you could reasonably depend on newspapers, magazines, and TV news to give you the straight scoop on what was going on around the world and in your backyards. How they got access to my backyard I’m not sure, but the point is their words meant something. So, when a newspaper’s editorial board sat down and decided to support a candidate, it was meaningful.
That was before Leftists found their ways into journalism and into those editorial meetings. Recent history shows there has been a shift in who gets the nod in newspaper endorsements and, although Republicans over the past 50 years have dominated the endorsement game, Democrats have been reaching parity (as opposed to them reaching parody, which they do quite unintentionally). And, to be honest, as newspapers have wandered more Leftward, the endorsements have gotten as predictable as a Michael Bay movie with much fewer explosions.
Now, as media outlets are less popular than used car salesmen with an infectious disease, the time of the political endorsement meaning something may have passed. Not only are traditional media considered to be dinosaurs, but the advent of social media has pretty much made their roles in society obsolete. Why wait until 5 or 6 PM to hear your local talking heads tell you about a news story when you can jump onto the Interwebs and see how your favorite YouTuber thinks? And what better way to get the pulse of the nation than to log on to TikTok, Instagram, and the Social Media Platform Formerly Known as Twitter?
So, why did the Left lose their collectivist shit over the lack of an endorsement from three major newspapers? Control, my dear readers. One of the ways the Left controls the narrative in many cases is because they control the dissemination of it. Donald Trump could come out and say, “I love cats,” and the mainstream press would run “Trump Hates Dogs” stories until the cows come home. Or “The View” wraps up shooting for the day.
I’m sorry. That was mean. I apologize to all the cows offended by being compared to the shrieking harpies on “The View.”
Anyway, when Leftists saw Jeff Bezos making a smart business decision at a newspaper that lost $77 million in 2023 by not pissing off potential readers, they saw it as a betrayal. Oh, sure, they couch it by lamenting the lack of journalistic courage, but it was much more personal. Bezos, a loyal member of the Leftist hivemind, didn’t carry water for Queen Kamala the Appointed by approving a puff piece telling us all how Her Majesty would be better than Trump because…ORANGE MAN BAD!
Without the word of the Washington Post to bolster Queen Kamala the Appointed’s Presidential clusterfuck…I mean campaign, it hurts her chances of becoming President, even though high profile publications have already done so. After all, the Left has to speak in one voice, mainly because they share the same weakened brain cell. Anyone wh0 doesn’t echo that sentiment down to the decibel is automatically considered to be an enemy.
So, Mr. Bezos, welcome to the club.
Where the control element comes into play is the implication of so many high profile publications backing Queen Kamala’s candidacy. If well-known newspapers back one candidate over another, there’s a level of credibility that comes with that endorsement. Think of it like a celebrity endorsement of a product, only for news nerds like your humble correspondent.
Ah, but that credibility comes with a catch in the form of a logical fallacy called ad populum. Simply put, an ad populum argument is when a conclusion is presumed to be true because many people believe it to be true. To put it in this particular context, getting a number of newspapers to agree Queen Kamala the Appointed is the best Presidential candidate out there would be enough to convince potential voters to vote for her because everybody else is doing it.
Anyone who remembers trying to use that line on parents who weren’t trying to be their kids’ friends knows how well that worked. And for the record, Mom, I didn’t jump off the railroad bridge because Mikey Schooner did it. That was my dumbass idea!
And it’s the Left’s dumbass idea to overreact to the lack of Presidential endorsements by quitting their jobs and canceling their subscriptions. In the case of the Washington Post, it’s a way for them to get rid of shitty employees and save money in the process. Fucking brilliant!
More to the point, the time of a newspaper endorsing a candidate and having it mean anything has passed. I’m a news nerd and even I can’t give a shit about what newspaper endorses what candidate because I have my own shit to worry about. I have a family to take care of, a roof to keep over our heads, bills that need to be paid, groceries that need to be bought, gas that needs to be bought so my wife and I can continue to go to work to afford the shit people like Queen Kamala the Appointed made more expensive because they know fuck-all about economics.
And if you think I’m going to say, “You know, I need four more years of this economic shitshow” because some newspaper says Queen Kamala is great, you’re dumber than a Leftist, and that’s a pretty big accomplishment.