Election integrity has been a pretty hot topic in recent years. (Candidate integrity, on the other hand, not so much.) To address this, the House of Representatives voted on the SAVE Act, or as the kids like to call it the Safeguard American Voter Eligibility Act. The short version is it updates existing legislation and includes ways for people to prove their citizenship so they can vote.
Which means Leftists are upset over it. Of course, it’s a day ending in “day” so they’re already upset about something. But this time, they’re pulling out all of their favorite shits…I mean hits. It’s sexist, racist, anti-trans, and, this is a new one, a poll tax because people might have to pay to get documentation.
So, is the SAVE Act the second coming of racist voting laws or a step towards more secure elections? And is this another lame segue into a Lexicon entry? The answers are coming up!
the SAVE Act
What the Left thinks it means – a Republican bill that disenfranchises voters by making it more difficult for people to vote
What it really means – a Republican bill that requires voting adults to be, well, adults
According to the bill itself, there are a number of methods of identification that will work to prove citizenship for the purposes of voting, ranging from a drivers’ license with REAL ID to a birth certificate to a marriage certificate and so many others. And even if you don’t have that documentation handy (which, realistically, you should, kids), the bill provides for a way to attest to your citizenship so you can vote. Should be a slam dunk, right?
Not quite.
The Left have been able to convince some of our fellow talking meatbags that requiring identification to vote is a bridge too far. It’s just way too complicated, expensive, and inconvenient to get identification, let alone use it to vote. And as Leftists love to tell us, voter fraud isn’t a thing. Until it is. Then, it’s not that big of a deal because it’s so rare.
That’s what we call “moving the goalposts,” kids.
The fact there’s voter fraud at all concerns me, regardless of who does it. One of the bedrock principles America has is we get to vote for our leaders. Granted, the last few Presidents don’t really speak highly of our ability to find good leaders, but the point remains. Voter fraud erodes that bedrock to the point we don’t even know if the candidate with the most votes will be the winner after the dust settles.
And no, Mrs. Clinton, you don’t fall into this category. No matter how hard you protest, you lost the Presidency because the popular vote isn’t what decides who gets to be President. Now, put on your Make America Great Again hat and shut the fuck up.
At the core of the Left’s assertion regarding voter identification is a belief some people are incapable of fulfilling the task of obtaining the necessary documentation for a myriad of reasons: age, inconvenience, cost, and so on. And, yes, these can be barriers, but they aren’t insurmountable if you’re willing to put in the work.
Cue Maynard G. Krebs.
And I’m only half-joking about that. Leftists are always down for making it easier to vote, mainly because that’s how they can game the system. When you set expectations higher than “must be solid matter,” it irks the Left because it makes them have to do actual stuff to overcome it. You know, like farming out voter fraud efforts to a Leftist organization with ties to our good friend Uncle George Soros.
But I’m sure that would never happen, amirite?
Although they’d be hard pressed to admit it, underneath the Left’s efforts to beat back anything even remotely related to election security is a very bigoted assumption: the less fortunate can’t advocate for themselves. To the the Left, these folks are incapable of much, so they need champions to speak for them. Enter the Leftists! Only they can defend the rights of those poor souls to do nothing constructive for themselves!
That’s mighty white of them! Often, quite literally!
However, by doing this, the Left treats the less fortunate as lessers in every aspect. This reduces these adults to children, incapable of doing anything without Leftists. And what confuses me more is there are people willing to be treated like children because it’s easier than being a ward of the state than a participant of it. I guess I’m just wired differently, what with me being a fan of Atlas Shrugged, “The Prisoner,” and personal freedom.
And, oddly enough, freedom is one of the ways the Left tries to convince people the SAVE Act will curtail theirs. That’s by design. By pumping up the fear, the Left whips up a frenzy, albeit an incredibly uninformed one. There’s a good possibility those who think they’re going to be negatively impacted already have all they need already. If they don’t, there are options that may or may not involve money and aren’t that inconvenient.
But the Left doesn’t want you to know that. They want you to be afraid.
And what’s more, the SAVE Act has only just passed in the House. The Senate still has to take it up, so if you’re affected by it or think you are, you have time to get that documentation or help someone else get it.
But the Left doesn’t want you to know that. They want you to be angry.
Is it just me, or does anyone else see a pattern forming here? It’s almost as if the Left want people not to learn about the SAVE Act and would rather gas up a mob because…well, that’s a good question. Purposely misleading people typically doesn’t end well once the people find out. And with the favorability ratings of the Democrat Party hovering just above that of STDs, they’d better hope people don’t find out anytime soon.
That’s not to say I’m completely happy with the SAVE Act. There are some unintended (or possibly intended) consequences that will affect women, trans people, and anyone else who has had to deal with name changes. It’s already a hassle to get even basic information and documentation updated (thank you, bureaucracy), but to add that hurdle to a Constitutionally protected right? That’s a Bridge to Nowhere too far.
The solution is somewhere in the middle. To balance out the need for election integrity and the need to protect the rights of eligible voters, there should be a way to identify eligible voters that can be cross-referenced with a database that can be updated regularly. Maybe a card of some kind, one that confirms a voter is registered…
Nah, nobody would be dumb enough to invent that. Forget I said it.
All that said, the SAVE Act has good intentions and is attempting to solidify trust in our elections. Maybe the Senate can make some adjustments to address the concerns I raised. Only time will tell if the SAVE Act will be an asset or a liability.
Oh, and before I forget, the answer to my second question is yes.
Category: Social Issues
Leftist Lexicon Word of the Week
Being a Leftist in the second Donald Trump Presidency has to be rough. Not only do you have to deal with knowing the man you’ve tried to sue into oblivion is in the White House again, but you’re whiny pussies on top of it. Because or in spite of this, Leftists have taken up the mantle of being “the resistance,” which gives them a source of inspiration to do things.
Like vandalizing Tesla vehicles.
And with a cable news network giving these actions a resistance tag, it’s bound to empower more Leftists to resist.
On the bright side, it gives me a opportunity to mock them!
resistance
What the Left thinks it means – standing up to the fascist/authoritarian Trump Administration and conservatives
What it really means – Leftist pussies cosplaying as badasses
Back in the heady days of 2017, Leftists were coming off a stunning upset after Trump beat former First Lady, Secretary of State, and general horndog enabler Hillary Clinton. As any mature adult would do, they looked back at the loss, recalibrated their strategy, and came back with a new approach to winning elections.
I’m kidding. They started pretending to be fictional characters.
Whether it was invoking the Rebel Alliance from “Star Wars” or Lord Voldemort from the Harry Potter books (before they decided J. K. Rowling was too toxic for…checking my notes…standing up for biological women against transgender women), the Left went into full-blown delulu mode. This served a few purposes, not the least of which was making themselves into the heroes and, by extension, their actions righteous. This made even their most egregious actions justifiable in their eyes since the “evil” they were fighting against was worse.
Ah, moral relativism. Ain’t it great?
Empowered by their self-righteous indignation, the Left was able to parlay that into action, namely riots…I mean protests. Whether it was the George Floyd protests, Black Lives Matter, or taking over a section of Seattle and setting up an autonomous zone (CHOP/CHAZ for the people playing along at home), Leftists were able to grab attention and headlines.
Oh, and a few criminal charges. You know, for being dumbasses.
With the second Trump Presidency underway, the “resistance” has gone back to their old habits and become assholes again. When they aren’t going after Tesla vehicles (and the people inside them), they’re organizing protests in each state and boycotts. Because nothing sticks it to The Man like…gathering in public areas with signs and not shopping.
Don’t look at me. It doesn’t make any sense to me either.
And that’s pretty much the problem with the resistance we’re seeing these days. The closer you look at it, the less sense it makes. Sure, there are some causes like trans rights, immigration, and whatever the fuck Representative Jasmine Crockett says on any given day, but most of it is a patchwork of smaller causes coming together to fight fascism, authoritarianism, or whatever the fuck Representative Jasmine Crockett says on any given day.
And speaking of faux edgelords, another way the resistance is making itself known is through politicians using vulgarity. Granted, I don’t have a leg to stand on here because I can swear like a sailor with Tourettes sometimes, but then again I’m not Chuck Schumer or Elizabeth “Chief Running Mouth” Warren. Namely, old people. Watching Schumer and Warren do their watered down impression of Andrew Dice Clay while talking about political issues isn’t edgy; it’s cringy as fuck.
And if you’re watching Chuck and Liz, you’re not Betty White. She could pull off being vulgar at an advanced age. You can’t. You’re as edgy as a Nerf ball when you swear just to be swearing.
In other words, keep it up, you two! You’re doing great!
While I’m waiting for Bernie Sanders to break out an f-bomb during a speech, I can see where the resistance is headed: to the same junkyard Occupy Wall Street wound up. Although we still remember the name, they didn’t accomplish anything. I mean, aside from proving Leftists could fuck up a one-step instruction manual when left to their own devices.
The only thing that gives me pause is how violent the Left can get when pushed. Granted, you can push most Leftists pretty far by merely existing, but most of the time they won’t try to fight back. That is, unless they have the advantage. Just ask Kyle Rittenhouse. Even then, they are at a distinct disadvantage because they vastly overestimate their ability to avoid retaliation. The thing about engaging in violent behavior is there is always a chance for the other party to engage in violence right back. Just ask Moldylocks.
And as much as I would like to say Leftists know how to fight, let’s just say they make Pee Wee Herman look like Chuck Norris. And I mean right now, not when the former was…enjoying an adult movie a little too much. Maybe some of the trans women can teach the Left how to fight, provided you use their proper pronouns or else things could get messy.
Just remember, kids, trans women are women. Just bigger, stronger, taller, and overall more masculine women.
There is one constant with any type of Leftist resistance: the Right will always be on the hook for violence. No matter how much blood gets spilled from Leftist attacks, how much intimidation Leftists inflict on others, or how much property gets damaged as a result of one of their temper tantrums, the Right will always be seen as the ones who are most likely to commit violent acts. In fact, Representative Maxine Waters even said Trump wants a civil war to break out.
This is after Leftists vowed to get more aggressive in opposing Trump’s plans. Oh, and the number of Leftists who wanted Trump dead in one form or another.
You sure it’s the Right that’s getting violent? Because I would think you would know, considering the Right has more guns.
In the end, there are very few Leftists who are actual badasses. Seriously, if you can make a Leftist run for a safe space by eating Chik-fil-A in front of them, he/she/it poses no real threat to life and limb. Some “resistance.”
Having said that, the best advice I can give you is to be aware of your surroundings and the situation. Leftists will do anything in their power to get you to react badly to what they say or do. They want you to throw a punch or shove them because then they can claim to be the victims. And as long as there’s at least one more Leftist to corroborate the story, you will be the villain. Don’t give them that satisfaction. Don’t go looking for trouble.
If you must engage, keep a cool head about you. The worst thing you can do to a Leftist who wants to start shit is to not even acknowledge it. Shrug it off and go on with your day. If you want to take your chances, try the Thomas Two-Step Program for Dealing With Leftists.
Step 1: Point
Step 2: Laugh
Do not attempt to do this if you are mobbed by Leftists or the Leftist in question is bigger than you are because physical harm may come to you. If you need to, bring a hoss of a man with you to be your second. That way you’ll not only have some muscle to protect you if the Leftists want to start shit, but also have a witness to counteract the Leftists’ victim narrative.
Plus, you’ll have one other person who can also point and laugh, so triple bonus!
In the end, though, the current Leftist resistance is as dangerous as walking through a Leftist’s gated community with a “Coexist” t-shirt on. At least until they call security on you for trespassing in their neighborhood, but you get the point. And just like the resistances before them, the current one will end up with a lot of assmad Leftists, a lot of side-splitting laughter from the Right, and nothing actually getting done.
Fine by me!
Leftist Lexicon Word of the Week
History has a tendency to repeat itself at times when you least expect it. Or, if you pay attention to Leftist rhetoric (which may be against the Geneva Convention, or at the very least the 2024 Shriners Convention), it happens every time a Republican gets into office. And if you’re not paying attention, you will Nazi this coming.
See what I did there?
In the waning hours of the Brick Tamland Administration, history repeated itself when he announced the ratification of the Equal Rights Amendment. This sentiment was echoed by Queen Kamala the Unappointed (see what I did there?), Senator Kirsten “I’m Angela from ‘The Office’ Without the Charm” Gillibrand, and Leftist groups like the Center for American Progress. And just like the previous times the Equal Rights Amendment was at the center of conversation, advocates are proclaiming its necessity to ensure equality between/among the sexes.
Yeah, about that…
Equal Rights Amendment
What the Left thinks it means – a ratified Constitutional Amendment necessary to ensure equality of the sexes
What it really means – an irrelevant Constitutional Amendment that Leftists want to enshrine anyway
Although it’s become a hot topic, the Equal Rights Amendment has a bit of a history. It was first proposed in 1923 as part of the women’s suffrage movement. Eventually, the ERA finally came into being as a proposed Amendment in 1972. The wording is as follows:
Equality of rights under the law shall not be denied or abridged by the United States or by any state on account of sex. The Congress shall have the power to enforce, by appropriate legislation, the provisions of this article. This amendment shall take effect two years after the date of ratification.
This is where things get a little tricky for the ERA. Although it was passed by both houses of Congress, 38 states still had to ratify it, and there was a time limit placed on it. This time frame expired on June 30, 1982. So, that should be the end of it, right?
Ooooh, sor-ray. The Left continued to push for the ERA to be ratified like they would get an ice cream cone after it happened. Well, that explains why Brick Tamland was hot and heavy to get it ratified. Anyway, Virginia ratified the Equal Rights Amendment in January 2020, barely missing the deadline by…let me check my notes here…almost 40 years. So, so close…
In spite of this, the Left continued to push for the ERA to be ratified because a) the conditions were met aside from the time frame, and b) they really wanted women to have equal protection as men. You know, back when they thought there were only two genders? (And at the break, it’s still Genders 2, Leftists 0.)
On the surface, what the ERA stands for is pretty reasonable and a good step. We love people to be treated equally in theory. These days, though, the practice is situational and only when we’re directly impacted. You know, just like when Leftists support police officers until they don’t? And, surprise surprise, the Left is the same way when it comes to women.
The Equal Rights Amendment has become obsolete because society has changed without it. Today, women occupy many high profile positions in business, politics, OnlyFans, and so on. In some areas, they’ve even surpassed men. Maybe it’s just me, but the fact women have these positions shows the ERA is a non-starter. What more equality do women need that isn’t already covered by laws and society?
The quickest answer for the Left is abortion, or as they call it “bodily autonomy” or “health care.” Or maybe they can just call it infrastructure like they did everything else for a time. But even this fails with a cursory knowledge of recent Supreme Court rulings that made abortion a state issue rather than a federal issue. Then, there’s the logic problem. Abortion laws by definition affect women more than men because…and I can’t believe I have to say this in 2025…MEN CAN’T GET PREGNANT. Equality of rights based on sex can’t apply here because there is no equivalent male counterpart to abortion. Oops.
The wage gap? To my knowledge, there are no laws on the books right now mandating women be paid less than men for doing the same job. What’s more, there are already laws and practices on the books that prohibit it, thus the ERA would be a redundancy like having two Leftists scream about the pay gap when none would suffice.
So, this begs the question of why the Left hasn’t done anything substantive about the ERA since the Reagan era. The simple answer? Leftists don’t really give a fuck about women, just their votes and money. The more complex answer? Leftists need women to be victims, even if it’s self-inflicted victimhood. Challenging the ratification status of the ERA or even coming up with another attempt to ratify it when they had control of both houses of Congress was never a top priority to the Leftists in power. After all, we had to save the rare triple breasted albino puddle jumping raven! And how do I know that bird is rare?
Because I just made it up.
Imagine being a Leftist woman and having your equal rights take a back seat to an animal that may or (probably) not affect the world in any way, shape, or form. That should make any sensible Leftist female (a stretch, I know, but I like to dream) pack up shop, take their pink pussy hats, and look for a non-Leftist man to settle down with. But since they think they’re victims of “The Man” or “The Men” or “The Patriarchy,” they stay firmly planted in the back seat and let other causes take all the attention.
And the ERA is part is the mythical carrot that keeps them there.
But there is another angle that few, if any, have explored: the impact the ERA will have on the trans community. While it’s easy and fun to mock the Left’s inability to follow actual science and conclude most people fall into one gender or the other, there is a perverse genius involved. If we accept the Left’s idea that even genders are more complex than they actually are and that there are more that can be claimed merely with an assertion, it throws a lot of things into question.
Like…oh I don’t know…the Equal Rights Amendment.
Once the Left gets a foothold on a legal matter, they will use it as a catapult for other matters only tangentially related to the original matter. That’s how the gay rights movement went from merely asking to be treated like regular people to “bake the cake, bigot.”
I have no hard data to back this up (aside from the fact the Left abandons women like Leonardo DiCaprio does when they turn 25), but having seen how the Left has used other social issues to push an alternate agenda, I can’t rule out the possibility of the ERA being “ratified” by Presidential fiat being used to further their transgender agenda. Or as I am calling it the transgenda.
See what I did there?
Although the Left is going to call the next steps in the ratification process uncertain, that’s only because they know as much about the Constitution as they do about economics: very little, but they’ll still try to convince you otherwise. The fact remains the Equal Rights Amendment had its shot to be ratified within the time limit Congress set and it wasn’t. No matter how many social media posts or proclamations from current and former political figures get made, the ERA is DOA, and it doesn’t l0ok like the Left wants to do the heavy lifting to make it a priority.
Which is fine by me. I’m not a fan of redundancy except when it comes to my jokes and pop culture references, but it’s clear America has moved past the notion that women have only certain societal roles. Now, we can confidently say women can fuck shit up just as well as men can!
Leftist Lexicion Word of the Week
Yep, we’re back talking about the 2024 Election again.
Since Donald Trump became the 47th President, the Left has been trying to figure out what went wrong. I have a thought: don’t run Hillary Clinton with a tan on a shitty platform focused on abortion rather than the cost of groceries. And as simple as that is to understand, the Left are still trying to figure out a way to right the DNC Titanic.
One idea that caught on was finding left-wing versions of Joe Rogan and Elon Musk. Spoiler Alert: you had them. They were called Joe Rogan and Elon Musk. But instead of taking a step back and realize running on bat-shit insane policies, they’re trying to find a way to reach out to white men.
Enter Dean Withers, affectionately called “the Bro Whisperer.”
Hoo boy. This one’s gonna sting, kids.
the Bro Whisperer
What the Left thinks it means – a way for the Left to reach out to young men to persuade them to vote Democrat
What it really means – proof positive the Left still doesn’t know what the fuck they’re doing
Leftists have had a pretty significant footprint (carbon or otherwise) in the mainstream media. Most major newspapers, the three networks, PBS, and some online spaces such as Facebook and YouTube. Even the Social Media Network Formerly Known As Twitter had the loving and diverse jackboot of the Left on its throat for a long time.
But as anyone who is even vaguely familiar with the rise of talk radio can tell you, that only meant the Right had to create their own niche in the market. So, they did. Whether it was Rush Limbaugh, Fox News, or Truth Social, the Right found a way to take the good parts of what the Left shit on, clean them off, and make them work.
Unfortunately for the Left, they’re not so successful in reversing the political polarity and being successful. And this whole “Bro Whisperer” thing is bound to tank more than Michael Dukakis in a tank.
First off, the concept is utterly demeaning to anyone with an IQ above Kate Moss’s waist size. Which is why the Left thinks it’s a great idea, by the way. As much as the Left loves to push back against negative gender stereotypes when it comes to women (and, more recently, men who claim to be women but have a five o’clock shadow that would make Bigfoot look like Dr. Evil), they’re resorting to the characterization of potential young male voters as early 90s-era frat boys. Instead of doing some introspection and working on an actual message, turn them all into “bros.”
Fucking brilliant.
Of course, this runs counter to the way the Left has seen men in recent decades. Potential rapists, gun nuts, control freaks, hyper-macho gym bros, colonists, misogynists, homophobes, intellectually and emotionally stunted, and the hits keep coming. And those are the names they use if they like you!
Seriously, though, the Left has been pounding the drums that men suck for a while now. Even now, the big brains on the Left blame men for Queen Kamala the Appointed’s election loss, but this time it’s men of all colors, not just whites, who get the blame. Apparently, men are afraid of strong women leaders, but the Left hasn’t presented any to us aside from Tulsi Gabbard. Most of the time, the Left’s idea of a strong woman is weaker than the drinks at a fourth-rate strip club.
Not that I know anything about that, mind you…
Let me help you Leftists with an important concept that will come in handy sooner or later: not everything you think can be boiled down to sexism is actually sexism. Unless you’re taking the same drugs Joy Reid is, Harris ran a horrible campaign and wasted a shit-ton of money in the process. She didn’t really make much of an appeal to men, instead focusing on abortion (which Leftists keep telling us “no vagina, no say” so men would be further excluded from the conversation). And aside from doing a horrible fucking job on tasks President Brick Tamland gave her, she could list the number of successes she’s had on the one hand of the world’s unluckiest woodworker. It’s the lack of outreach on her campaign’s part that cost her the male vote.
Say what you will about Trump, he at least appealed to potential voters from all walks of life. That’s what drew in voters and political and social figures like the aforementioned Rogan and Musk. He didn’t talk down to them. He didn’t throw them out of the movement if they dared to consider the Right might not be the second coming of Hitler. Now that Queen Kamala the Appointed got stomped like a vat of grapes in an “I Love Lucy” episode, some on the Left are now willing to listen.
Hence, the “Bro Whisperer” bullshit.
But remember what I said earlier about the Left not exactly being successful in adopting ideas of the Right? Yeah, this is another one of them. On the bright side, though, it gives us an opportunity to remember the good old days of Air America. Yeah, that was an enjoyable three days (fewer if you take out all the commercials).
Now, typically I try to avoid making superficial comments about a Leftist’s looks or personality. Unfortunately, I’m going to have to break that rule this time because the “Bro Whisper” is the least Bro-ish Bro to ever Bro a Bro, Bro. But the Left are looking to him to help bridge the gap between themselves and the segment of the population they’ve shit on for decades. All I gotta say is good luck, kid. Maybe you’ll be Bro Rogan, but I’m gonna go out on a limb and say you won’t.
This on-again-off-again political romance with male voters shows the duplicity of the Left’s approach, as well as the cynicism behind it. The thing to remember is the Left thinks we’re dumber than a bag of hammers unless we say, think, and do exactly what they do. They see us as goldfish with a blackout drinking problem: short of memory and not terribly clear on the details. Anyone who backs the “Bro Whisperer” concept is perpetuating that idea. They think going from blaming male voters for not giving us Queen Kamala the Appointed to asking for their votes (and money, of course) is no big deal because we won’t remember how they called us fascists.
Even though it was literally a week or two before Election Day. I’m sure Queen Kamala’s positions have changed since then and she wants to make up for slamming men more than Nancy Pelosi slams shots at an open bar. She’s matured in that nearly 2 month period.
And if you believe that, I have some swamp land in the Sahara Desert I’d love to sell ya.
The best part of the “Bro Whisperer” (at least to me) is how confident the Left is it’s going to work. The Left has a serious ego problem (but that’s a blog post for another day) and it’s their sheer arrogance in their shitty ideas that will make the inevitable flop all the more enjoyable. In today’s political environment, the Left is Wile E. Coyote and we’re Acme.
I’m sure the “Bro Whisperer” is going to give it the old community college/votech try and the Left will marvel at the tens and tens of listeners he’s going to get, but it’s too late for the Left to mend fences. You’re going to have to be real going forward to regain the male vote.
On the bright side, you still have the men pretending to be women vote on lockdown!
Flipping the Script
Now, I’ll be the first one to admit I have some pretty oddball ideas, but I am committed (or should be) to expressing them on the off chance they’re not that far off from reality.
This one is one of those that once you see it, you can’t unsee it. And it has its origins waaaaaaay back in the era of big hair (on men and women), the Cola Wars, and 2 out of 3 of the good Star Wars movies, the 1980s. There was a group that went out of its way to inject itself into social issues, coming up with all sorts of statements about how the country was sliding into a moral abyss and demands for someone to do something to stop that slide from happening. Everything from games to popular culture got scrutinized and, if found wanting in their eyes, got run through the mud.
If you can’t remember them (or have put them out of your minds for your own mental health), they were known as the Moral Majority. They were loud, obnoxious, and most of all wrong about much of what they said was going to happen. For example, I’m still waiting to turn Wiccan or Satanic from playing Dungeons and Dragons. Maybe I got a bad batch…
Anyway, the Moral Majority reveled in taking the fun out of life and being Gladys Kravitz on pure Colombian marching powder (oddly enough, also really popular in the 80s). But as time went on, people took notice that they were full of shit and mocked them relentlessly until they faded into the background, a relic of a bygone era when whipping up a mob was a lot harder than going onto Instagram and posting a video. You actually had to do some work!
With that being said, can you think of anyone today who might be doing the same things the Moral Majority did? Anyone at all? Could it be…oh, I don’t know…SATAN?
Sorry. Wrong franchise.
When you really think about it (and I do because otherwise I wouldn’t have anything to write about), the Left seems to have taken up the mantle of the Moral Majority. Let’s follow our handy dandy checklist, shall we?
Sanctimonious assholes involved? Check.
An utter lack of understanding of the subject matter? Yep.
Loud? You bet!
Obnoxious? Oh, yeah.
Professed concern about the future? Sure!
Okay with government stepping in to regulate what they don’t like? Sho nuff!
Congratulations, Leftists. You’re the new Moral Majority, and that’s not a good thing. However, I’m good with you taking up the mantle because it allows me the option to either mock you, ignore you, or a little from column A and a little from column B. Regardless, the best part about it is you will be mostly forgotten in a few years, leaving the rest of us to enjoy life the way it was meant to be enjoyed: without nosy assholes telling us why we’re wrong for enjoying life.
Noses Up, Thumbs Down
As a recovering Leftist, I could go on for days about everything I see wrong with the current Left, mainly because they tend to be the same problems I saw when I was among their ranks. They’re not even original enough to recycle their problems!
The one common aspect that flows through all of these issues is arrogance. Regardless of the circumstances, Leftists always think they’re the smartest people in the room and aren’t afraid to let you know it. And they’re obviously better than you because they’re Leftists.
If that logic were any more circular it would give me motion sickness.
And that’s on top of the nausea I get when listening to Leftists expound upon their brilliance with takes worse than letting Lindsey Lohan be your AA sponsor. Just look back at any of the Leftists livestreaming the 2024 election. Down to the one, they all had the same take: Queen Kamala the Appointed was not only going to win, but ran a flawless campaign. Only the worst possible people could possibly vote for Donald Trump!
Yeah, about that.
Not only did Leftists double down on the “everyone else is stupid” rhetoric (which always brings people to the polls…to vote against them), but they also did what they did with climate change “research”: start with the answer and work backwards, ignoring anything that contradicts the desired results. In doing so, the Left has become the personification of the Principal Skinner “No, it’s the children who are wrong” meme.
To this day (see local listings for Leftist insanity in your area) the Left will do anything they can to avoid the one thing they need to do to move forward: admit they were wrong. And to their credit, some Leftists are starting to do just that, whether it be out of a crisis of conscience or a crisis of potential irrelevancy. Most of them, however, are confident it’s everyone else who is to blame for their own fuck-ups.
That’s the thing about egotists. They can never fail; they can only be failed. When they make a mistake, it’s always someone else’s or something else’s fault. And guess who is using this very tactic to explain away the 2024 election debacle and prepare for the 2028 election debacle?
You got it. The same people who gave us Queen Kamala the Appointed.
And it’s not just in politics where the Left claim to be smarter than everyone else. The Leftist smug reaches in to academia, especially science. Climate change predictions that never come true, COVID-19 guidelines based on utter bullshit, people who make Bill Nye and Neil deGrasse Tyson the de facto experts on all things science (even when the science is not in their respective backgrounds), the adoption of 72 genders (Spoiler Alert: still just 2), the acceptance that trans women are no different than biological women, and many more anti-science takes from the self-professed “Party of Science.” And if you dare speak out and present data that proves them wrong, you’re a heretic and must be dismissed, censored, maligned, called a conspiracy nut, and so on.
And if these Leftist science fans are proven wrong, that information gets memory-holed faster than Eric Roberts accepts a role. An example of this is evolution. Growing up, all the Leftists (myself included) said man evolved from apes. It was repeated so much that it became the common truth, in spite of the fact there wasn’t much science to back it up. Years later, I was in an AOL chat room (ah, those were the days) and mentioned this. A Leftist then told me no scientist actually believed that and that I was making it up. No matter what sources I used or firsthand direct experience I had to the contrary, it was never enough to satisfy the Leftist. Their orthodoxy had changed, or should I say…evolved.
I’ll see myself out.
But before I go, there is one more thing I have to point out. A lot of the Leftist bravado comes with little-to-no justification. They think they’re smart because they all believe the same things, but if what they believe is utterly stupid, it’s not a sign of brilliance. When you press them on any significant issue, most of the time they wind up looking like an idiot. Or worse yet, Cenk Uygur.
And yet they think this attitude is a real winner. Keep thinking that, kids. Just try to act surprised when this shit blows up in your face. Again.
Leftist Lexicon Word of the Week
I know, I know, everybody’s talking about Presidential pardons this week, but I’ve never been one to follow the obvious path. Besides, that subject has been done to death, resurrected, done to death again, resurrected again, and done to death a third time.
Instead, I have a riddle for you. What do Donald Trump, Daniel Penny, and Jack Phillips have in common? Aside from being relatively sure they all wear pants, breathe oxygen, and occasionally enjoy a little thing the kids like to call eating, they’re all the victims of lawfare. And, not coincidentally, Leftists also hate them for daring to defy their will.
And when you can’t beat ’em, you sue them…or something like that.
lawfare
What the Left thinks it means – a made-up term used to demean efforts to hold people accountable
What it really means – abusing the legal process to get what the Left wants, one way or another
As I said recently, the Left understands the power of money, even they don’t understand basic economics. And with that knowledge of power, they know how to use it to get what they want. Usually, this is done at the legislative level, but there are times when it moves into the halls of justice.
And not even the Super Friends can get them out.
Meanwhile, back at the main point, lawfare is how the Left uses the power of money to get what they want. With the help of trial lawyers (who tend to be Leftists either out of education or shame at getting paid tons of money to be shitty people), lawfare leverages the power of money and the legal system to dole out punishment.
This is done in one of two ways. First, there’s the gradual erosion of a target’s finances until he/she (because there’s still only two genders) is so poor by the end of the process any monetary judgments in his/her (still only two genders) favor get swallowed up by the fees incurred to fight the fight in the first place. That’s even worse than getting a moral victory.
The other way lawfare works is suing people into capitulation. In this way, the law becomes the punishment for not being a Leftist. Some victims would rather knuckle under when faced with the prospect of a lengthy legal process, so the Left gets what they want. That’s how the ACLU got any showing of Christian faith out of the public school system. I haven’t heard them trying to get Islam out of public schools yet, but I’m sure they’ll get around to it…maybe…you know, after the new year…in the 38th Century.
While we wait, we can take a look at the aforementioned lawfare victims to see the effects it has on them.
Jack Phillips: He is the owner of Masterpiece Cakeshop, which became Ground Zero for a legal battle over gay rights. When a same-sex couple came in and asked him to bake a cake for them. When Phillips refused, the couple filed a complaint to the Colorado Civil Rights Commission arguing the refusal violated public accommodations laws. After a lengthy process, the US Supreme Court gave Phillips the victory, but that didn’t stop Leftists from continuing to file lawsuits against him and his bakery. And that has cost him time, money, employees, and reputation. All because a gay couple tried to force him to bake a cake against his religious beliefs.
Donald Trump: Where do I begin with this one? When he wasn’t being President of the United States, he has had to deal with lawsuit after lawsuit, court case after court case. It’s not like he doesn’t have the money to fight back, but having to deal with the sheer volume of lawsuits, based on bullshit or not, is an emotional drain as well as a financial one. This one hits a little deeper than the Phillips situation because even if he gets the bulk of the suits tossed out because of the aforementioned bullshit, there will still be people who will point out he was still convicted. Can’t win for losing.
Daniel Penny: Although he’s the newest member of the lawfare club, he’s no stranger to the depths Leftists will go to punish a person. Penny was riding the subway in New York City when Jordan Neely started harassing fellow riders and threatened to kill people. Penny took Neely down and allegedly killed him with a chokehold. Even with the sheer number of witnesses, video footage, and expert testimony supporting his case, he’s still having to go through the legal process because the Left needs it to be another George Floyd situation. After all, why let a good made-up scandal go to waste?
In each case, the Left is using the law to extract a pound (or should I say ton) of flesh from their victims. But it has a ripple effect. Not only does it drain the spirit and bank accounts of those who get targeted, but it sends a message to others not to cross the Left or else you’ll get what the targets get. Most of the time, this works because, well, Leftists love to use the government to get you to comply. There’s a reason why the saying “You can’t fight City Hall” is still around today: because fighting City Hall is like taking on Mike Tyson in his prime, not when fighting a social media star.
And since not everyone can afford a lengthy court battle, most of the time we will have to give in, no matter how righteous the cause may be. The downside to that is it enables Leftists to keep using lawfare to get what they want. However, there are some things you can do en masse.
First, check to see if you elect judges. If so, they can be voted out, especially if they keep enabling lawfare instead of doing their jobs. Failing that, there’s always elections. As we’ve recently seen, it’s possible to change the direction of an area or even a country if enough people get out and vote out the bad actors. (If only we could do the same with Hollywood…)
But there is something else you can do: use your voice outside the ballot box. Whenever you see someone getting the shaft (because that cat Shaft is a bad mutha…), read up on the case and talk about it. Sunlight may be the best disinfectant, but social media makes that sunlight a fuckton more powerful.
Of course, there’s my favorite: pointing and laughing. Leftists hate to be mocked even a little bit. (See Bluesky for evidence.) When you see a Leftist engaging in lawfare, mock them mercilessly. Sure, you might get pulled into a lawsuit yourself because, well, Leftists are litigious babies, but you will have the First Amendment on your side. Or should have it on your side unless Leftists go judge shopping to find one who thinks the First Amendment is a suggestion. But, seeing a Leftist’s head explode as you turn their sacred cows into hamburger will warm even the chilliest of hearts.
Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to deal with 493 lawsuits filed by Leftists who are offended by me constantly pointing out there are two genders. See you when I get out of court!
Leftist Lexicon Word of the Week
Hollywood loves reboots like they love hookers and blow, and they really love hookers and blow. Sometimes these reboots work out (like the updated version of the Planet of the Apes movies, minus the Tim Buron-directed abomination). Sometimes they don’t (like the flaming shit-show that is the unreleased “Snow White”).
When Elon Musk bought Twitter and turned it into the Social Media Platform Formerly Known as Twitter, Leftists started looking for alternatives because they would no longer be able to count on high-ranking Leftists to censor those icky conservatives opinions that didn’t violate the Terms of Service, but did violate their fee-fees.
Now, they’ve found one, a little thing the kids like to call Bluesky. It’s relatively new, but it’s already boasting over 20 million users with a lot of them being former X users (so ex-X users. Thank you! Tip your waitstaff!) departing the social media site after Donald Trump won the Presidency for a second time with help from Elon Musk.
So, shall we take a trip into the Blue-niverse? (Thank you! Please hold your applause!) Even if you don’t want to, we’re going!
Bluesky
What the Left thinks it means – a social media site where like-minded people can share their opinions without fear of being censored by right wingers
What it really means – the digital version of Air America
After decades of having control over most of the popular media of the time, Leftists have had to adapt to a new environment where their control was no longer as secure as it once was. Talk radio, lead by the late Rush Limbaugh, started becoming the alternative to the squawking heads people once looked to for news. And, yes, there are plenty of examples of talk radio hosts getting shit wrong, but it didn’t matter. The Left no longer controlled the flow of information.
As a result, Leftists tried to ride the wave of talk radio success by creating Air America. Basically, what the brain trust behind it thought was all they had to do was replace Rush Limbaugh with Al Franken and watch the money roll in. Only, it didn’t. Talk radio wasn’t plug-and-play. You actually had to have personalities people want to listen to, and Air America really didn’t. Oh, they had an audience, but it was far smaller than the normal talk radio audience. Say what you will about Limbaugh, he knew how to entertain (which is ironic because Al Franken was on “Saturday Night Live” when it was actually funny).
And then Air America came in with a whimper and went out with a popcorn fart. You’re lucky to find anyone around my age to even remember Air America was something other than a Mel Gibson movie these days, and the only reason I remember it is because I’m just that lame. Nevertheless, the point is Leftists really don’t know how to catch up when someone outside of their ideological bubble races ahead of them.
Which brings us to Bluesky.
What Musk has done for X is so logical, it’s no surprise Leftists hate it. Instead of letting one side of the political aisle run roughshod over anyone who disagreed with their enlightened (and utterly dumb) opinions, Musk brought at least some semblance of neutrality to the platform. Which pissed off Leftists to no end. After all, if there’s one thing Leftists hate more than Donald Trump and Elon Musk, it’s having their positions challenged in any way. So, after spending all this time talking smack about the platform (while still on said platform), they took their balls and went home…to Bluesky.
Now, I’m not going to say it’s a flaming Port-A-Potty over there because, well, that would be unfair to flaming Port-A-Potties. Oh, sure, you’ll still find decent posts about nature and science, but most of the stuff being posted on there is straight-up Beyond Thunderdome shit. Aside from being accused of censoring conservative viewpoints as well as pro-Palestinian posts, they’re driving other Leftists away for…dare I say it…not being Leftist enough.
Great way to build up the world’s most tolerant echo chamber!
In the post-election environment we find ourselves in, this isn’t all that unusual. Leftists always look for people to blame for their election failures because it’s a hell of a lot easier than saying, “Ya know, we really fucked up here.” With Bluesky, the only difference is the venue.
Oh, and the level of batshit insanity.
Fortunately, you don’t have to go on Bluesky to see it. Some brave soul is going into Bluesky and picking out the best of the worst and putting it on X. Whomever you are, my few remaining brain cells and I thank you.
If you don’t want to get an X account (like your humble correspondent), there is still humor to be found out of the batshit insanity when you consider the possibility the Bluesky Leftists are screaming into the void (albeit an intellectual one) of their own creation. Then, it becomes a contest to try to “prove” how Leftist you are, which will lead to more fighting with the freak show.
Cue Thunderdome! Two Leftists enter, one Leftist leaves!
And we’ll have to deal with a potential shortage of popcorn…
An Open Letter to the Left
Hey, kids. It’s your internet buddy, Thomas. Listen, we need to talk about what just happened a couple of weeks ago. You know when your side lost to Donald Trump, again?
Now, this isn’t going to be one of those pieces where I mock your misfortune. There’s plenty of time to do that, and trust me I will. Instead, this piece has more of a serious tone, but will occasionally move into humorous terrain because I’m a firm believer politics is too serious a topic not to make fun of it.
So, with that being said, let me start with a question: what in the red, white, and blue fuck is wrong with you? Seriously, I’ve seen Chicago Bears fans this year take losses better than you have.
But that’s not the issue I have with you right now. I expect you to be sore losers because you’re sore winners. Where I’m coming from is what you refuse to learn from this ass-whupping and how it’s going to fuck you sideways in future elections unless you figure this shit out.
Let’s start with the Democatic scapegoat…I mean candidate, Kamala Harris. She had three and a half years to show she could fill in for Joe Biden and she failed. Now, you could (and definitely have) tried to chalk this up to racism, sexism, homophobia, xenophobia, agoraphobia (probably), and a metric shit-ton of other buzzwords, but there is a simpler reason.
She positively sucked as a candidate.
A lot of that falls at her feet. She didn’t have a clear, consistent message that resonated with anyone with higher than a third grade education for starters. I mean, “joy” as one of the many campaign trial (and mostly error) balloons? That’s about as fucking stupid as a candidate whose entire campaign could be boiled down to “hope” and “change.” But, I’m sure no one would ever be dumb enough to run such a candidate…okay, never mind.
The point is nothing she did seemed to be relatable because it truly felt she was only reciting squawking points without even a micron of sincerity. Except when it came to calling Donald Trump and his followers fascists because that always works, right?
Ooooooh. That didn’t work this time, did it? See, what works for your party faithful may not work for anyone else. And it leads to another aspect of her failed campaign: nobody who worked on it knows a fucking thing about what the electorate wants or needs. When Ms. Harris wasn’t dodging live interviews with people who might ask her a question more difficult than “What color is the red fire truck?” she was talking down to us, as were her surrogates and media types (who were pretty much one in the same). And last time I checked, joy didn’t pay the fucking bills.
And given how much she spent on celebrities, I really don’t think I’d trust her to run a tab at an all-you-can-drink water bar, let alone propose new spending to drive up the national debt even higher. I mean, she raised over a billion dollars and still came up a couple mil in the hole? But I’m sure it was money well wasted.
And while we’re here, whose idea was it to drag out celebrities who don’t have to take out a second mortgage to get a dozen eggs to tell us all how Kamala Harris is going to make our lives better? If you find out, make sure he or she is never allowed to do anything more complicated than getting coffee for the campaign staff, and even then double check to make sure the orders didn’t get fucked up. A pretty tall order, if not a grande or vente.
Meanwhile back at the clusterfuck that is the Left, there is a point you need to seriously consider, but you probably won’t because it would lead to enlightenment and self-reflection, that being you made the Trump victory possible. Who hid Joe Biden’s cognitive decline and gaslighted anyone who pointed out he wasn’t playing well with reality? That was you. Who decided to push away a Kennedy from the party? You again! Who tried to push Biden out of the race well after he had secured the nomination? Also you. Who decided to make one of the least popular Vice Presidents in modern history into the Second Coming of Barack Obama? Still you.
See a pattern forming here, kids?
And that’s only on your side of the aisle. You also made Donald Trump into a sympathetic figure. Convicted of 34 felonies, survivor of at least 2 known assassination attempts, the target of Leftists within the halls of power at the local, state, and federal levels, the center of a number of prove lies, and being accused of being weird, fascist, and the end of democracy as we know it. This should have been a slam dunk for Harris, but you assholes snatched defeat from the jaws of victory, and removed the lack of a popular vote victory that you saddled him with in 2016.
If your goal was to make Michael Dukakis in a tank look like George W. Bush on an aircraft carrier, mission accomplished. If your goal was to make Kamala Harris a viable Presidential candidate, boy did you fuck that up!
While you’re busy coming up with excuses to remove your fingerprints off Trump 47, there should be a moment of self-reflection when you realize no amount of Lady MacBeth-esque scrubbing will get your grubby fingerprints off the Election 2024 clusterfuck.
But when you’re ready to make progress instead of making stupid blue wristbands so you can recognize each other as you cosplay as The Handmaid’s Tale, it’s time you face some really hard truths.
1. Pissing off potential voters isn’t ever a winning strategy.
2. Acting like you’re smarter than you actually are will only make you look like assholes.
3. You are way too intellectually and ideologically insulated to know what your policies are doing to people outside of your circles.
4. You have no real bench for the 2028 Presidential election because you’re too focused on identity politics.
5. With the LGBTQIALEUCOMEONYOUCANNOTADDMOREFUCKINGLETTERSANDSYMBOLSTOTHISMOMENT+ community, you are trying to appeal to a fraction of a fraction of the population, which guarantees you will continue to be trounced in the polls.
But if recent polling is accurate, you idiots want Kamala Harris to run again in 2028.
You know, maybe getting pimp-slapped by the Right repeatedly is the best possible outcome for you. Maybe then you’ll figure this shit out and stop pissing off people you need to vote for you.
Leftist Lexicon Word of the Week
With the reelection of Donald Trump, Leftists took the realization Queen Kamala the Appointed wasn’t going to be President as well as you’d expect: by being bat-shit insane. I mean, even worse than they normally are, which is saying a lot from an ideological group that thinks trans women can get pregnant.
Well, some of those trans men may have to pick up the slack, thanks to a movement Leftists women adopted in the wake of Trump’s victory. It’s called the 4B movement, and it’s…well, we’ll get into that after the break.
4B movement
What the Left thinks it means – women protesting the patriarchy by cutting off any relationship or sexual ties with men
What it really means – Leftist women co-opting a movement because Orange Man Bad
The origins of 4B has its roots in a South Korean feminist movement in the mid-to-late-2010s. The tenets of 4B are as follows:
no sex with men
no giving birth
no dating men
no marriage with men
In other words, my dating history prior to meeting my wife.
The driving force behind 4B is a desire to reject the “normal” family dynamic and the male-dominated culture that perpetuates it. Given the culture in South Korea and the challenges women face as a result of it, there is a legitimate need for such a movement, even if I may not align with them politically. I firmly believe there are things women can do as well as a man, if not better, and that women should be given the chance to succeed or fail on their merits.
So, naturally, Leftist women in America have to go and fuck it up.
Before they could get warmed up for their epic meltdowns, Leftist women were looking into 4B thanks to social media. Yes, the same outlets where people do stupid dances or post images of food are responsible for this movement coming to our shores. To which I say fuck you very much.
Or not.
And the thought behind this is just as shallow as the “influencers” on the aforementioned social media sites. Because Donald Trump appointed Supreme Court Justices who…horror of horrors…told the country abortion was a state issue, the misogyny of men not wanting to vote for Queen Kamala the Appointed because she ran a campaign so bad it made Walter Mondale circa 1984 look like Ronald Reagan circa 1984, and Orange Man Bad, of course, Leftist women are going to…adopt conservative values.
Holy self-own, Batman!
But it gets even better when you consider the Left’s fascination with abortion. Not only was it one of Queen Kamala the Appointed’s campaign cornerstones, but it’s a wedge issue that has worked time and time again in getting votes from a wide swath of the female population. Didn’t work this time, but that’s a blog post for another day.
Anyway, imagine the impact of Leftist women not having sex. Aside from making Tinder a lot easier for horny men to find a hook-up, it has the potential to reduce the number of abortions done. And what was one of the reason Leftist women want to adopt 4B?
Abortion rights.
Looks like Planned Parenthood is going to need even more federal funds to keep the doors open. Good luck with that with the incoming Administration and Congress, ladies.
To make matters worse (and by worse I mean a lot funnier), Leftist women are doing everything they can to repel men. Many are shaving their heads, getting tattoos or blue bracelets to show they voted for Queen Kamala the Appointed (and, thus, “safe”), or even suggesting men should be poisoned. Because that’s completely rational and totally not ultra-turbo-psycho-bitch behavior.
There are a lot of jokes I could make about Leftist women taking this tack, like how a significant chunk of the women backing 4B in America won’t have to worry about ever needing to get an abortion because they are less likely to have sex than an Amish eunuch, but that’s not what I do. That kind of superficiality only matches the superficiality of the women deciding to adopt 4B and, to be frank (or if you prefer, Steve), they really don’t deserve it.
Now, pointing and laughing, on the other hand…
Seriously, kids, it’s hard for me to take the Americanized version of 4B seriously because it makes no sense on any level and it reduces women to their lady parts…which is what a lot of immature men already do. Leftists believe women’s vaginas create a sisterhood that requires all women to think, speak, and most importantly vote a certain way. Otherwise you’re betraying your gender.
Unless, of course, there are women to the right of Gloria Steinem. Then, fuck those women!
But there is no such sisterhood, and there never has been. Men don’t think, act, and vote a certain way because we all have dicks. We do that because we’re men. We are pretty simple creatures when you get right down to it. It’s hard-wired into our DNA from Ug on down.
Women, by contrast, are much more complex, and I for one am glad for that. The females of the species are more in tune with their emotions (which explains a lot about the Leftist women signing on for 4 years of 4B when you think about it) because it’s hard-wired into their DNA. A woman is a marvel of creation, able to be a fierce lover and a fierce fighter depending on the situation, being the one responsible for carrying life within her body, and having the intelligence to guide her male counterpart towards a better way.
But Leftist women believe in the Sisterhood of the Traveling Vajayjay.
Call me crazy (and I’m sure you will if you haven’t already), but that comes off as incredibly condescending and, dare I say it (Spoiler Alert: I do dare), rather misogynistic. By viewing everything through the pussy prism, Leftists strip away everything that makes women special and turns them into objects without agency. As bad as you Leftists think Donald Trump is, you aren’t much better.
It will be interesting to see how long Leftist women will keep up with the tenets of 4B. It might last as long as a TikTok dance fad or go on and on like “The View.” In either case, I think I can speak for a good chunk of the American male population with this simple sentence.
Your terms are acceptable.