Usually, these Extremist Makeovers involve politics, but this time I wanted to delve into a different, but no less controversial, subject. I have been a basketball fan for most of my life, starting as many kids do: shooting hoops in my driveway. But since I sucked at dribbling, shooting accuracy, passing, playing defense, rebounding, running, and pretty much anything else that is required to be good at the game, I gave up my hoop dreams. Even so, I never lost my love of the game.
That’s why it’s so disappointing to see what’s going on in the WNBA. I know it’s supposed to be professional basketball, but it reminds me more of a pick-up game at the Y. That I’m playing in. And I’m the best player on the court. The offense is spotty, the defense makes the defense played at the NBA All Star Game look like the security at Fort Knox, and there’s less hustle on both sides of the ball than a hibernating sloth whose core temperature has been dropped to absolute zero.
And that’s just Angel Reese.
I’m kidding, of course. Clearly there are women on WNBA teams that could run me out of the gym before the opening whistle, but that’s no great feat. It’s made even more apparent when a player takes a shot her teammates look like the scene from “The Ten Commandments” when Moses parts the Red Sea. The only thing less occupied than the lane in that situation may be the stands at most WNBA games.
That was before a young woman with a dream and an outside shot that she could make from the parking lot on the other side of the country named Caitlin Clark entered the league. Incredible court vision, crisp and precise passing, and genuinely a fun player to watch all by herself. And she’s a clear draw, if attendance, endorsement deals, and TV ratings are any indication.
Yet, the WNBA has a problem with Caitlin Clark, one they’re not ready to admit or resolve. The league simply wasn’t ready for her level of game, which puts a lot of NBA starters to shame. So, naturally, the WNBA did the sensible thing and built the league around her.
Just kidding! They let other players use her as a tackling dummy while the refs and Commissioner turned a blind eye to it. Unless, of course, Clark tried to fight back. Then, she gets called for whatever foul they can find and then has to play nice for the media scrum afterwards.
And that’s not counting the attitudes by WNBA stars and former players turned analysts. Some appreciate what Clark brings to the league, while others curse the hardwood she walks on. And it’s not just the occasional sly throwing of shade, either. There’s actual hatred behind some of the commentary, matched only by the hatred towards Clark with some of her peers.
Needless to say, the WNBC needs a lot of help. And I, being Mr. Helpful, am here to help!
The first step starts with a question: do you want to succeed, or do you want to continue being the NBA’s side piece? Let’s face it, the WNBA needs the NBA more than the NBA needs to learn what traveling is, and considering there’s so much traveling going on players get frequent flier miles during each game, that’s saying something. If you’re not aware, the WNBA is being kept fiscally afloat by the NBA, and even with the Caitlin Clark Effect in full effect, the powers that be can’t seem to figure out how to turn that into a money-making venture.
I know we’re not supposed to attribute malice to a situation that can be chalked up to incompetence, but I can’t figure out which it is in this case. That’s why my question is the key to figure out where to go from here. If you’re comfortable with the status quo, then we’re done here. Enjoy constantly losing money and try to act surprised when the doors close for good.
But let’s assume for the purposes of this sketch you want to make money. Then, the question becomes how can you improve the product you’re putting out for a fraction of the public consumption at the moment. This is easy: hire high school basketball refs. The “professionals” you have miss more calls than Helen Keller (and at least she has the excuse of being deceased). Until the “professionals” can prove they can call a full game without more errors than a Timothy Geithner tax return (talk about your obscure callbacks!), I’m afraid they’re going to have to learn how to do their jobs by watching real professionals do them.
Second, recognize what Caitlin Clark brings to the table and do what you can to protect your investment. I’m not saying let her get away with metaphorical murder on and off the court. Understand she is a once-in-a-generation talent who not only moves the needle, but can help evolve the perception of the WNBA from an afterthought to a must-see attraction. She’s already been the catalyst of change for the Indiana Fever, as the team has really built something special attracting other players who want to play with Clark.
Now, consider the fact Clark is inspiring young girls and boys (and even old codgers like me) to play basketball like she does. That means you might see more Caitlins in the near future, so you might want to seed the ground now so you’re ready when they arrive. And that means you gotta stop setting her up for failure by risking her getting injured or frustrated to the point she can no longer play. Where Clark goes, the fans will go with her.
And speaking of failures, third, stop trying to make Angel Reese a thing. She’s not a good player, and when you consider I’m saying this, you know she’s bad. She’s supposed to be an elite inside player, but her game outside of rebounding sucks. The only thing she has going for her is the fact she’s not that different from a lot of current WNBA players: more meh than marvelous, but able to make a hockey fight look like a Buddhist rave. No amount of social media posts, red carpet events, and fashion shoots will make Angel Reese any better at her actual job.
And while we’re on the subject, the league needs to have a serious sit-down with the teams and explain a very simple concept to them: you’re getting paid to play basketball. Not target certain players to “teach them a lesson” about the way the WNBA is. Not flop more than Lebron James looking for calls, only to turn around and commit a live mugging at the other side of the court. Not spending time on social media promoting themselves or beefing with other players and fans. You. Are. There. To. Play. Basketball.
For the love of all that is holy, at least try to look like you can play offense and defense. A second-year player is making you look bad, just as she did in her rookie year. This is not a time to coast on past glory or because you haven’t had to do any more before now. The game is evolving because of Caitlin Clark, and you can either catch up to keep up or find yourselves left in the dust.
Finally, you have to demand accountability from all parts of the WNBA. That means more fines, ejections, and suspensions for egregious violations, and I’m not just talking about the players here. Coaches, referees, teams, and, yes, even the Commissioner need to be held to a higher standard. Because, and I can’t stress this enough, you are a professional sports league, so start acting like it. Anybody who bends or breaks the rules gets punished. It worked on me when my parents did it to me growing up, and it will work here.
This may be a fool’s errand falling on deaf ears, but as a basketball fan, I want to see the WNBA become more than it is today. That won’t happen without major changes in personnel, attitude, and rule enforcement. Time will tell if the WNBA takes me up on my suggestions (and, believe me, I am open to salary negotiations), but I remain hopeful.
Just like that little boy shooting hoops in the driveway hoping the basketball that goes soaring over the backboard and bouncing off the roof will eventually lead to better shooting.
Well, I’m still working on that, but I’m still hopeful!
