Clear your calendars, kids! The hottest new piece of literature just dropped and it’s going to be a scorcher! I’m not referring to any of the 498 books Stephen King will release this week. Instead, I’m referring to the long-awaited Durham Report.
After the initial shock of discovering Leftists had their fingerprints all over the Russian collusion allegations against former President Donald Trump, the Left has done into damage control. Some said it failed to deliver any real results, while others went so far as to say it was a flop that opened the door for future misuse. Some have gone so far as to give analysis that make the whole investigation look like one big boondoggle.
Which means the truth is far more damaging than the Left wants to admit. Oh, and that it’s this week’s Lexicon entry.
the Durham Report
What the Left thinks it means – an expensive bomb of an investigation that lead to nothing and should be called out for repeating Trump’s lies
What it really means – the report the Left wishes the Mueller Report could have been
For those who are interested in the report, here it is.
For the Reader’s Digest Condensed Version, here it is.
– Leftists within the alphabet agencies attempted to paint Donald Trump as a Russian asset in 2016 at the direction of Hillary Clinton.
– There was no evidence of Russian collusion.
– The aforementioned alphabet agencies knew it, but proceeded with an investigation anyway because Hillary.
– Leftists had actual ties with Russia during the time they were attempting to make Donald Trump look like a Russian asset.
– Leftists never thought they would get caught.
So, here we are. After 4 years and $6.5 million spent, the Left is finally worried about a partisan investigation. I mean, the Mueller investigation (which was shadier than the hygiene practices at Uncle Filthy’s Botulism Emporium and Discount Slaughterhouse) only cost $32 million! How dare Republicans spend $6.5 million!
By the way, these same dickweeds complaining about the waste of money with the Durham Report are okay with sending Ukraine $24.9 billion for a war where we’re not even one of the direct participants. Granted, that figure was from January of this year, so the current number is going to be higher than Willie Nelson hanging out with Snoop Dogg in Amsterdam on 4/20.
So, let’s cut out the bullshit about the cost and look at results. The primary result is the Durham Report exposed a real conspiracy of dunces with the sole purpose of making Donald Trump look bad. First off, he does a good job of that on his own, so the Left didn’t really need to help. Second, Hillary Clinton has a sordid (and utterly mock-worthy) history with Russia.
Now, Leftists are going to say I’m using a logical fallacy called “poisoning the well” as a means to prop up Durham after a failure of a report. That would be true…if there wasn’t so much evidence out there. And it’s information the Left doesn’t want to get out because it unravels a lot of their squawking points over the past few years.
The most obvious bullshit talking point destroyed is the alleged Russian collusion with Trump. The Left needs this point to be true because it’s the only way they can explain why Trump beat Clinton in 2016. That is, if you overlook how unpopular Hillary is. She lost to an unknown Illinois Senator in 2008, for fuck’s sake! And he was only slightly more competent than she was! Not exactly a ringing endorsement of Hillary’s popularity as a political figure.
Then, 2016 happened.
From before Donald Trump took the Oath of Office to today, the Left not only conspired to slime him in the court of public opinion, but got government agencies involved to make it happen. And even then Hillary lost. Simply put, Hillary Clinton is a political fuck-up aided by other political fuck-ups pretending to be law enforcement. Law enfarcement maybe, but not law enforcement.
Which brings us to another reason the Left has to discredit the Durham Report: it exposes just how broken the FBI has been for years. The Durham Report made a point of not only showing how fucked up the FBI’s involvement in the Russia collusion story, but also offered suggestions on how to fix the problem. Personally, I think we should nuke the site from orbit since it’s the only way to be sure, but that’s probably my inner 80s teen talking.
Once the FBI’s corruption got exposed (again), the Left loses one of the weapons in its arsenal to deal with what they consider unsavory elements. You know, like pro-lifers. In order to retain some semblance of control, the Left needs the FBI, which makes the agency look a lot less credible and will fuel even more calls to investigate just how deep the corruption goes.
I don’t see a down-side here.
Especially when the Left mocked the “Back the Blue” movement while elevating the FBI to near-godlike status. That’s how you know their love of law enforcement is utter bullshit, but it’s also a pretty big tell as to why the Left has a vested interest in protecting the FBI by denigrating the Durham Report.
You know. Poisoning the well?
The Left are also making a big deal of how few convictions came from the Durham Report as compared to the Mueller Report. Although the lack of frog-marching feds is cause for concern, it’s not really that big a deal unless you’re in the business of quantity of justice rather than quality of justice. Some of Mueller’s successes came as a result of shoddy charges and dishonest reporting. Can you say Michael Flynn, boys and girls? I knew you could.
And what’s more? The Mueller Report found no sufficient evidence of collusion with Russia, which was counter to what the Left wanted him to find. The Durham Report confirms this, which is counter to what the Left wanted him to find. Maybe it’s me, but I’m sensing a pattern…
Like the pattern of behavior the Left has when bad news hits their side. First, there’s panic as they try to figure out how to spin the bad news. Second, there’s the spin, where the bad news is turned into good news (often with a good amount of gaslighting). Third, there’s “debate” as people fact-check the Left’s spin and the Left pretends the fact-checks are inaccurate. Fourth, there’s Leftist “fact-checking” which is little more than gaslighting that would make the Hindenburg look like a sparkler. Finally, there’s the call to move on from talking about the bad news because “it’s old news.”
As of this writing, the Left has gone through at least 3 of the steps with the “fact-checking” step about to kick into high gear. Give it a week or so and the “old news” calls will be coming hard and fast.
Unfortunately, we have a lingering question that I don’t think we’re going to get a satisfactory answer to: who’s going to federal fuck-me-in-the-ass prison over this? The way the justice system works now, we’ll be lucky to get the FBI Director’s secretary’s brother’s former college roommate’s cousin’s dog walker’s accountant’s former high school basketball team’s water boy indicted, and if so, it will be for something completely unrelated, like a waaaaaaay overdue library book. The fact Lois Lerner is still on the outside instead of getting 3 hots and a cot in Leavenworth is proof of that. Reports outlining criminal behavior are all well and good, but without action, they’re just words on a page. And if you expect Leftists to join in the accountability mob, I have swamp land in the Arctic Circle I’d love to sell you. In this situation, elections have lack of consequences.
And it’s not like the Republicans have the best track record in following through, either. A big reason why is because a lot of them don’t want to rock the boat too much because then they become targets for the kind of bogus investigations we’ve seen out of the Left so far. And when their dirty laundry gets put out for the world to see, it puts a King Kong sized monkey wrench in their reelection plans. Then again, many of them are in “safe” districts and states, so even if they get caught getting baggies of heroin shoved up their asses by an Asian trans dominatrix named Madame Hung Lo their approval ratings might take a dip of 0.00000000000001% because “the other side is worse.”
As much as I can’t argue that, it doesn’t help the situation. Without a desire to stand up for what is right, our little Constitutional Republic is doing to go the way of Rome. And by that I mean an expensive tourist trap with a kitschy casino counterpart on the Las Vegas strip.
So, like Las Vegas.
Anyway, we need leaders more than ever, men and women willing to buck party lines to do what is right and just. It might take a few election cycles and some “come to Jesus” moments, but if anyone can do it, America can. The Durham Report is the first step on that journey, and we best take it while we can.
Also, it will piss off the Left, so…yay!
Category: Foreign Affairs
Leftist Lexicon Word of the Week
If the Left didn’t hate Speaker of the House Kevin McCarthy before now (spoiler alert: they did), giving access to tens of thousands of hours of surveillance footage from January 6th to Tucker Carlson. With Leftists already believing Carlson is a Russian asset, this has given them the opportunity to talk about national security. After all, letting a Russian asset (in their opinion) gain access to security footage from January 6, the most horrifying day in American history up there with Pearl Harbor and 9/11 (again, in their opinion), has to be a national security risk, right?
Well, to paraphrase the Commander in Briefs Bill Clinton, that depends on what your definition of national security is.
national security
What the Left believes it means – ummm…they’re still working on it
What it really means – a concept that means less and less with each passing year
To put it mildly, national security is a pretty big fucking deal. It’s essential to all of our lives, even if we don’t give it a first thought, let alone a second thought. It allows us to live free, or at least as freely as the Puddin’ Head Joe Administration will allows us to live. It ensures we don’t have to worry about foreign countries invading us and destroying America.
By the way, I’ve got my eye on you, Canada! No trying to get us to adopt the metric system on my watch!
If you really think about it, and I do because I have to entertain myself somehow since prices are higher than Willie Nelson on any day ending in day, national security touches every aspect of our lives on some level. So, why do we take it for granted?
A huge part of it is how invulnerable we’ve felt as a country since the Cold War. After the Berlin Wall fell, there were no more superpowers to challenge us. The Soviet Union was no more, China was years away from firing up its economic power, and the Middle East was, well, the Middle East. For all intents and purposes, we were untouchable.
Then 9/11 happened. That woke us up, at least for a little while, to how vulnerable we could still be. Granted, the warning signs were there if we had bothered to put 2 and 2 together and come up with something other than potato (thanks to Simon Miller for that joke). After all the outpouring of sympathy, all the brave words that we’d find who was responsible and bring them to justice, all the patriotic bunting and good feelings, we promptly…forgot about it after a year or so. But in our defense “Friends” was on, so…
Since then, our approach to national security has been spottier than a freckled-faced Jackson Pollock impersonator using a cheetah for a canvas. (Not something I’d recommend, by the way, especially if your clothes are dry clean only.) It’s become a stock talking point for both sides that has a level of gravitas and a seemingly untouchable nature about it that prevents Joe Sixpack or Taemmi Soylatte from thinking any deeper about it than “It’s good.”
And that’s where both parties fuck us at the drive-thru.
For decades, our national security has been tied to how much we’re willing to spend on it. With Republicans, it tends to be neat new weapons, gadgets, and tech, and with Democrats it tends to be more “soft” spending on diversity, diplomacy, and making sure other country’s fee-fees don’t get hurt by us. Yet, with all of that spending, we aren’t that much safer. If anything, we’ve gotten more lax due to an unhealthy cocktail of political gaslighting and social media.
Let’s start with the gaslighting since it’s the most pervasive and, thus, more fun to talk about. Both sides use this tactic to bolster their own version of national security. If you don’t approve of spending $450 on a screwdriver you can get at Home Depot for $8, the Right thinks you support China, North Korea, or dare I say it Trinidad Tobago marching down our streets and making us their bitches. If you don’t agree to using military (i.e. taxpayer) dollars to combat global climate change, the Left thinks you want to pollute the Earth to the point only cockroaches and the Kardashians would survive.
Both sides are wrong in the same bipartisan way. It doesn’t matter how much you spend on a security system if you never turn it on. And guess what, kids? We have been forgetting to turn it on for decades, all the while keeping every door unlocked and all our valuables in one convenient and highly visible spot for anyone to come along and take them.
And, yes, I’m about to talk about the balloon incident.
On January 28th, a Chinese balloon was able to fly over Alaska, western Canada, and parts of the United States before it was shot down over the East Coast. On February 4th. Even if you buy the multiple excuses the Left gave for why the balloon wasn’t shot down over, well, Alaska, the fact remains it took 8 fucking days and an entire cross country trip for us to do anything. And then, as if to try to balance out the dumbfuckery, we got hyper-vigilant and started shooting down balloons that weren’t even Chinese.
It’s one thing to double down after making a mistake. But the Puddin’ Head Joe Administration decided to double, triple, and quadruple down on the mistake just to show how serious they were. Which is to say not serious at all. The very fact a single balloon made it into American airspace, was recognized, and was allowed to go coast to coast without so much as a dart thrown at it is a serious breach of national security.
After all, we don’t know what kind of equipment the balloon had, if it had any. We are just being told that it was either harmless due to spy satellites giving better information or that it was made harmless because we jammed any transmissions (neither of which, I might add, has been established with any factual information). In other words, Leftists want us to believe the same balloon was ineffective because shut up.
After the Chinese balloon debacle, it’s a good thing there wasn’t a train derailment or…oh, wait. Never mind.
Even with what people observed, we had to endure Leftists telling us it wasn’t a big deal and people who said we should have shot the balloon down sooner were “bedwetters” as Senator Chris Murphy put it so inelegantly. To try to get Puddin’ Head Joe as far away from the blame as possible, they even tried to pull Donald Trump into it, saying he also had Chinese balloons come into American airspace during his Presidency, a claim that was later debunked by former Director of National Intelligence John Ratcliffe, who said it didn’t happen. I mean, it was obvious, considering it was claimed those alleged balloon flights under Trump weren’t discovered allegedly until the Puddin’ Head Joe Administration…according to the Puddin’ Head Joe Administration.
I’m as shocked as you are the Administration would lie to cover up the Administration’s clusterfuck! And to try to make us feel bad or foolish for not buying the bullshit? That’s lower than an earthworm’s belt buckle.
Now, onto social media. Granted, I don’t have a high opinion of social media to begin with, but there’s one out there that is actually being used for surveillance against us. I’m speaking of TikTok, a popular app that has been linked to spying on journalists and has the potential to track information of American citizens and government workers.
Oh, and it should be pointed out the Trump Administration called this out in 2020, and people mocked them for it, saying it was a conspiracy spun for political advantage. Yeah…chalk up another “conspiracy theory” that wound up being a fact.
Before we take a victory lap at the Left being wrong again, consider the implications of what we know. China has access to information, which is in and of itself a matter of national security, not just because government employees might be doing a stupid dance for tens and tens of people to see. The thing that makes TikTok so dangerous is the fact so many Americans voluntarily give up this information.
In our society’s rush to be “Internet famous,” we have opened ourselves up to invasions of privacy and, yes, security. Say what you will about the Chinese, and believe me I have, but they have figured us out in 2023 America. Just give us a dopamine hit for meaningless videos and we’ll let them mine our data. Brilliant!
Although neither major party has it exactly right, I do have to say Republicans take national security more seriously. After all, the Left keeps saying domestic terrorism is the greatest threat to our national security right now. And by “domestic terrorism” they mean “anybody who disagrees with us and aren’t afraid to say anything about it.”
Look at how they painted parents who were concerned/outraged over pornographic books teaching children about homosexuality and blow jobs in elementary school. You would think these parents were one step below the Manson Family the way the Left talked. But when you get people of all stripes to come out against what you’re trying to push in elementary school, it’s no longer a matter of hatred, fear, or even national security. Maybe, just maybe, your ideas suck ass.
While the Left gets their collectivist panties in a bunch over people pretending to be badasses, we still have real issues with national security we need to address. And with China and Russia united over a) hating us, b) wanting to fuck our shit up as much as possible and c) having the means to do both electronically, we can’t afford to be asleep at the switch anymore.
But we need to be honest here. Neither major party is doing jack shit about protecting ourselves, mainly because we continue to confuse the definition to fit their ideological needs at the time. Is ANTIFA a national security threat? No, nor should they be considered such. Are Trump supporters national security threats? No, and they shouldn’t be considered such either. Once you start pulling away the layers of this fetid onion, you get closer and closer to the core of what national security actually looks like.
And what does it look like? A strong and vigilant population who strive for the same goal of protecting America regardless of their ideological differences. As we’ve seen since Kevin McCarthy’s actions involving January 6 footage, we’re a long ways off from that.
But, hey, at least we can still use TikTok, right?
Russia/Ukraine – Second Verse Same as the First
You know, I think I’ve been getting a bit ranty with my recent posts, so I wanted to take on a much lighter topic, the Russia/Ukraine War.
By the time you reach this, we will have entered the second year of conflict in that part of the world and, well…we’re kinda in the same place we were when it started. For reasons that still escape me like Houdini, we decided to back Ukraine because..freedom, I guess? And since we had a few trillion dollars lying about from our investment in dumbass ideas and incompetent government officials, we gave it and some of our military hardware to Ukraine.
And…it hasn’t helped out a lot. Well, except if you’re a Ukrainian official with a penchant for owning multiple homes and lavish lifestyles, that is.
Russia hasn’t come away from this war unscathed, though. Not only have they suffered some military losses, but they’ve taken a hit on the world stage and from a public relations standpoint. As of this writing, toenail fungus is more popular than Vladimir Putin and it wasn’t even in the running. At this rate, Walter Mondale circa 1984 is doing better.
So, who’s winning? That depends on who you ask. The Left and the media (but I repeat myself) tell us Ukraine is winning. Twitter is awash with Ukrainian flags and hashtags like #RussiaIsLosing. Some on the Right insist Russia is winning. But the actual answer is…neither side is winning, even with our help.
And I’m still firmly on neither side. Nothing over the past year has swayed me one way or the other. Russia is still an untrustworthy bunch of asshats, Ukraine is still rife with neo-Nazis, and the Left is still trying to fight fascism here while supporting it over there. There are still no white hats, just black hats with PR firms trying to make their side look good.
And we still don’t have an idea of what our endgame is. Is it to weaken Russia? Is it to bring freedom to Ukraine? Is it to waste a lot of money getting involved in a war we have no role in? Who knows?
But what I do know is fighting a proxy war in Ukraine in the hopes the neo-Nazis in charge will like us and the Russians will be weakened to the point of irrelevancy are pipe dreams. We keep making the same mistakes in foreign wars, and thanks to Puddin’ Head Joe, we’ll keep making them because, well, he’s a dumbass.
And we’re on the hook for even more money coming soon to an IRS form near you. Who cares if we have inflation higher than Snoop Dogg in Amsterdam on any day ending in, well, day? Why should we worry about needing to take out a third mortgage for a gallon of gas, but only after taking out a second mortgage to get a dozen eggs? Just shut up and dig deep for the Buy Ukraine a Fourth Vacation House Fund. Ushers will be coming by to mug you as you exit the theater.
And you thought a bucket of popcorn and a Coke were expensive!
If you’re reading this and you’ve chosen a side in the Russia/Ukraine conflict, I’m sorry. The only right play is not to play, but we’ve already past that point of no return, and certainly past the point of no noticeable return on investment.
So, pop open a bottle of your finest tap water, gather your friends together, and toast year 2!
Papers, Please
To say it’s been a rough few months for Democrats is an understatement. Oh, they were able to stem the tide of the “Red Wave” (thanks in part to idiots like Mitch McConnell), but since then they’ve been accumulating L’s like the world’s unluckiest Scrabble player.
Recently, we heard about President Puddin’ Head Joe having classified documents in the possession of a think tank (an ironic contradiction if ever there was) and just now started turning them over. Of course, his staff knew about them on November 2, 2022, but hey. Why let a little something like having classified documents six years after leaving office disrupt an election that could determine how our country is governed for the next 2 years, amirite?
If that wasn’t bad enough, more classified documents were found in Biden’s home in Wilmington, Delaware. But don’t worry, folks. Ol’ Puddin’ Head Joe kept them perfectly safe, right next to his Corvette in his garage. And it just so happens, Joe’s son Hunter stayed at that residence for a time. Wow! If you can’t trust meth-heads with a penchant for underhanded deals and possible child porn on a laptop, who can you trust?
As you might expect, Leftists leapt into action…to say a) the documents were planted, b) Donald Trump is much worse, c) Joe is cooperating, and d) it was just a mistake.
How’s that boot tasting, Leftists?
As more and more comes out about this story, the more and more Leftists want to push it under the rug, even going to far as to say this scandal might take attention away from investigations into Republican wrongdoing. Then again, it was CNN saying that, so take it with a Lake City of Salt.
Since the Right doesn’t have memories like ferrets hooked on meth, people have been bringing up how the Trump and Biden document scandals are being handled. Which, of course, prompted the Left to come up with all sorts of Oktoberfest-level pretzel logic to explain why it’s just different, okay? But is it? Let’s find out.
As President, Donald Trump had the authority to declassify documents within a specific scope, hopefully with more reasoning than “because shut up.” Some things can be declassified under different provisions within the government and by following the proper procedures. We can debate whether Trump and his team followed those procedures another time because the point is he had the authority to declassify.
The Vice-President, on the other hand, can only declassify documents he (or now she) classified or generated by his/her office. Without knowing what was found at Puddin’ Head Joe’s office, home, and garage, we can’t really tell whether he followed the process correctly. Knowing him, he forgot all about it.
As far as what former Executive officials can take with them, well…that’s where things get a bit murky. (Surprise, surprise.) There are some requirements and loopholes for Presidents and Vice-Presidents with regards to classified documents. Again, the lack of specific details gives Joe a bit of breathing room legally.
Having said that, Puddin’ Head Joe’s got some ‘splainin’ to do. If what has been reported so far is accurate (and I can’t say for certain that it is), some of the documents in question had to deal with Iran, Ukraine, and the United Kingdom, as well as China. Now, I may be wrong here, but at least half of the countries mentioned don’t like us and one of them loves us…as long as we keep giving them money and guns. No word on if Ukraine is accepting our lawyers yet, but I’ll keep you posted.
And if you got that reference, you are officially old. And cool as hell.
While the way these documents came to light differs greatly from the raid on Mar-a-Lago, it’s important not to lose sight of the basic facts here: Puddin’ Head Joe had classified documents in his possession and failed to do his due diligence in returning them or notifying the proper authorities that he had them.
Before you Leftists give me this “he turned them in as soon as he found out” bullshit, let me remind you his term as Vice-President ended six years ago. And during that time, his meth-head son has access to those documents, which in and of itself is a security risk. Not to mention, Biden didn’t come forward with these documents as soon as he found out. He waited two more months after they were discovered.
If you flipped your shit over Trump holding onto classified documents for a year and a half, your shit better be doing a Cirque du Soleil routine if you want to remain consistent. If you’re not, then take a seat. In fact, take all of the seats. Especially that old dusty one in the corner, the one with the ripped upholstery.
And while we’re here, remember how Leftists got so concerned about whether Trump was selling nuclear secrets since some of the documents seized were allegedly about a foreign country’s nuclear capabilities? I do. It was a Neal Peart drum solo of drumbeats from the Left lamenting about how Trump was guilty (without evidence of anything happening, mind you) and still allowed to walk freely amongst the people (see previous comment in parens for the reason). Now, these hawkish Leftists aren’t squawking so much. Even known Leftist and fuckknuckle Joy Behar said we give Puddin’ Head Joe the benefit of the doubt because, essentially, he’s not Trump.
No, Joe isn’t like Trump. Trump wasn’t fucking stupid enough to put classified documents in a fucking garage!
Anyway, we’re in for a shitshow as more information about Puddin’ Head Joe’s classified documents come to light and the Left tries to explain it all way without success. I wouldn’t hold my breath waiting on an FBI raid of Joe’s home anytime soon.
Unless they find more on Hunter, that is.
Leftist Lexicon Word of the Week
After a week full of surprise twists (the #TwitterFiles exposing a lot more than anticipated), not-so-surprise twists (Leftists being wrong again about Twitter being dead), and some disappointing-but-not-surprising twists (Herschel Walker couldn’t cross the goal line to win the Georgia Senate runoff election against Raphael Warnock), we finally have a story worth discussing that doesn’t involve Elon Musk.
Brittney Griner is coming home!
Now, if you’re like me (and if you are I’m so very sorry), you have little or no idea who Brittney Griner is. I will admit I had to do a bit of digging to get the facts behind why her release is such a big deal, and I agree it is. Just not for the reason the Left wants us to believe it is.
Brittney Griner
What the Left thinks it means – a brave woman freed after being imprisoned in Russia for no reason
What it really means – a prisoner released solely due to the social justice hierarchy
When Joe Biden took over as President, I knew there would be some bad decisions coming down the pike. I mean, he picked Kamala Harris as Vice-President, a woman so unpopular with Democrats that I got the same number of delegates she did and I didn’t even run. Sure enough, there were no supply chain issues with Puddin’ Head Joe’s bad decisions, as they kept coming in like a LGBQT+ wrecking ball.
Even with incredibly low expectations, I knew somehow the Biden Administration would find a way to limbo under them with room to spare. And that’s exactly what we got with the Griner release.
Brittney Griner is a WNBA player who played in Russia during the off season (which is not that different from the regular WNBA season) and was detained after a search found vape cartridges with hash oil in them. Although what she had was legal in Arizona where Griner plays, it isn’t legal in Russia. As a result, she was sentenced to nine years in prison. Griner appealed the verdict, but was denied. Now, less than a year after she was arrested, Griner is free. A feel good story, right?
Yeaaaaah…not so much.
The terms of Griner’s release included a prisoner exchange for Viktor Bout, who just happens to be an arms dealer with the cute little nickname “the Merchant of Death.” Aside from the laundry list of activities for which he became infamous, he was also the inspiration for a Nicholas Cage movie. That alone should have kept him locked up indefinitely.
Then came Puddin’ Head Joe, who thought it was a good idea to trade Bout for Griner with the hopes of getting another American prisoner detained in Russia, former Marine Paul Whelan. Whelan has been detained since 2018 amid allegations of espionage. Although the charges seem a bit shaky, America has let him sit in a prison camp for far longer than Griner.
So, why are we getting excited over a WNBA player getting released in exchange for an arms dealer? A lot of it has to do with Griner’s identity. Not only is she a basketball player (that maybe 0.00000000001% of the population knew prior to her arrest), but she is black and a lesbian. In social justice terms, that’s practically a “Get Out of Gulag Free” Card! Throw in the fact she lobbied the WNBA to not play the National Anthem during the 2019 season to protest police brutality, and you might as well make her a Leftist Saint. You know, if they believed in that sort of thing.
Even if you strip away all of that, anybody with a lick of sense can see trading an arms dealer for a basketball player while leaving a retired Marine on the table is a bad idea. For one, it’s a fucking arms dealer! For another, it shows the world just what America values these days. If you’re an albino transsexual paraplegic Inuit midget with AIDS, you’ll get the Biden Administration working around the clock to get you home. If you’re a white guy, well…let’s just say you’re going to have to wait a while.
Like, say, the 43rd of Never.
Not to put too fine a point on this, but Bout is also a Russian fucking arms dealer! Now, who are we currently in c0nflict with on the world states? If you said Russia, congratulations! You’ve been paying attention. And if you’ve been paying attention, you can also see where this is going, but for you Leftists reading this, let me spell it out for you: Joe Biden just gave Vladimir Putin an arms dealer, all while funneling money to Ukraine…who is currently fighting Putin and Russia.
Either Griner is one hell of a basketball player, or Puddin’ Head Joe got played. And I think you know which way I’m leaning on that one.
Regardless of how you feel about Griner’s detainment (I think it’s bullshit) and release (it’s great she’s coming back home), the fact the only way it makes sense is through the lens of social justice should be concerning. We should not be making these kinds of major decisions through social justice because of the way social justice operates.
Leftists have devised a hierarchy of oppression through which they view different scenarios to determine how to react. Put another way, it’s a checklist to see how oppressed you are based on superficial factors like gender or race. Check enough boxes and, voila, you’re oppressed! But wait! There’s more! Not only will the hierarchy of oppression tell you if you’re oppressed, but it will show you how oppressed you are! And if your oppression score is lower than someone else’s, the other person gets the support because…oppression!
This makes Calvinball look like chess.
Needless to say, when you prioritize oppression by who allegedly has more of it, some people are still going to feel oppressed which doesn’t help the situation any. Then again, if Leftists were critical thinkers, we might not have Puddin’ Head Joe as President.
As it stands, Brittney Griner is coming home to a hero’s welcome while Russia gets a fucking arms dealer back and a former Marine remains in custody. Even before now, the Left has been writing pieces damning America for various aspects of our prison system or why our government should be supporting Griner because patriotism or what it says about America’s current social issues or how black women are treated in prison. Expect this trend to continue with more frequency and ever higher decibel levels.
But always keep in the back of your mind the Leftists cheering at Griner’s freedom have given zero fucks about Paul Whelan, as evidenced by a) how they haven’t talked about him before now, and b) how slowly the Biden Administration has been working towards getting him home. But when social justice overrules geopolitics and common sense, you’re bound to find yourselves in situations where the obvious answer gets rejected in favor of a worse deal than the Minnesota Vikings trading for Hershel Walker.
Oh, and one last thing. Viktor Bout is a fucking arms dealer.
Damn. Now I need some of the good eggnog…
Leftist Lexicon Word of the Week
This week’s Lexicon entry has its origins in the recent Italian election where Giorgia Meloni was elected Prime Minister to the surprise of Leftists worldwide. And let’s just say they’re not taking this turn of events well, going so far as to compare her to former fascist dictator and George C. Scott body double Benito Mussolini.
Yet, in spite of this, Leftists still haven’t adopted Ms-solini to describe her. That one’s a freebie. You’re welcome.
For an ideology that really pushes for women to get elected, the Left doesn’t seem all that thrilled with Meloni’s victory. Hmmmm…I wonder why…
Giorgia Meloni
What the Left thinks it means – the second coming of Mussolini and the sign the far right is taking over Europe
What it really means – the wrong kind of female political leader for the Left, which means the right kind for the rest of us
The Left relies heavily on females to advance its agenda, whether it be in office, positions of power in academia, or even working the help desk at your local DMV. When a woman outside of the Leftist hivemind gets into one of those positions of power, though, it throws a King Kong-sized monkey wrench into the power dynamic the Left has worked so hard to create. After all, we can’t have women thinking for themselves or they might do something crazy, like voting for a Republican, amirite?
That’s why the Left focuses on issues many women feel are important. Abortion rights, climate change, the pay gap, and so on. If they offered bottles or boxes of wine in some communities, the Left would never lose another election for at least 50 years. But just like not every woman loves wine, not every woman feels the way the Left does on the aforementioned issues. Instead of being accepting and tolerant (you know, like they claim they are), Leftists treat these women worse than Ike treated Tina.
Although this works most of the time to keep women on the Left, it creates a built-in conundrum about the agency of women. On the one hand, Leftists say women (and in some cases pre-teen and teen girls) are strong, capable, and smart enough to make decisions about issues that affect their lives. On the other, those same women can’t be trusted to make decisions about school choice, abortion, gun rights, and so on, so they need Leftists to think for them.
And that’s before we consider the Left still doesn’t know what a woman is!
All kidding aside (and by all I mean some), the Left continues to be a woman’s worst enemy because they don’t see women as anything but political pawns. In doing so, they’ve managed to convince millions of women that anyone that doesn’t subscribe to the ever-shifting-and-often-contradictory Leftist ideology is a traitor to womanhood. Twitter is full of Leftist women who openly chastise women for voting for a Republican because, according to the Left, Republicans hate women.
That’s going to come as a pretty big shock to a lot of women, Republican or otherwise.
But it goes beyond Republicans. Any woman who fails to drink deeply from the Blue Kool-Aid gets attacked for not being a real Leftist. Just ask Tulsi Gabbard, who was accused of being a Russian asset by Hillary Clinton, a woman with actual and direct ties to Russia and Vladimir Putin.
It’s this type of deliberate misinformation that is being used against Giorgia Meloni to paint her as Mussolini 2: Electric Boogaloo. To hear the Left speak on the subject (provided you’re into that kind of pain), Meloni was anti-immigrant, anti-LBGTQRSTUVCANTHEYADDANYMORELETTERS, and generally not a very nice person. What does she and her party, the Brothers of Italy, support? If only there were a website that outlined those positions…oh, wait, there is. Here’s a short list of some of their platform points.
– Pro-choice up to 3 months
– Equal pay for both genders (and, yes, there are still two)
– Increased environmental regulations
– Stay in the European Union
– Raising the minimum wage
Wow. Truly scary stuff, isn’t it? I am literally shaking over this. Well, either that or the furnace is on the blink and it’s the temperature of a cold snap at Ice Station Zebra.
Either way, there is a bit of a problem for Leftists wanting to make Meloni look like a fascist: there are a lot of areas where the Left and she overlap. Sure, there are some planks where they’re as different as cats and dinosaurs, but it’s dishonest to overlook the areas where there are areas of agreement.
Which is why the Left is doing it.
Since I have no dog in the fight, I decided to take a look at the platform and found it to be pretty middle of the road. Not overly liberal, not overly conservative, but apparently in line with the Italian public, if election results are any indication. And as the Left is so fond of telling us, questioning the results of an election is a bad thing.
Based on the coverage so far, which has been as far removed from reality as one could be without heavy sedatives laced with hallucinogens, Giorgia Meloni will be facing a dishonest press desperate to turn her into the very monster they want her to be, even if she doesn’t do anything that would lead any sane (i.e. non-Leftist) person to believe them. In other words, she’s the Italian Ron DeSantis. But something tells me she’s going to handle the Leftists in the press (a redundancy, I know) just fine.
Mainly, because I know how fucking stupid Leftists can be.
The Taiwan Conundrum
While a lot of conservative commentators are focusing on domestic issues, there’s a foreign policy matter that deserves much more attention than it’s been getting. And would you believe we have Nancy Pelosi to thank for it?
I’m referring to the situation with Taiwan, mainly because Paul Pelosi’s drinking and driving isn’t an international incident…yet. When the Speaker of the House visited Taiwan recently (for reasons that escape me, unless she was setting up some primo deals that would earn her more money…I think I just figured it out!), it added Everclear to an already tense situation between Taiwan and China. See, China believes Taiwan is still a part of China and Taiwan disagrees, preferring to be independent from China. And given how China is a repressive totalitarian state whose leader looks like Winnie the Pooh, I can see why.
Where America comes into the picture is we are stuck between the two opposing sides of this conflict by our own actions stemming from a long time ago, or ancient history in TikTok terms.
We set the Wayback Machine to 1949, when Chinese communists defeated Chinese nationalists and took over mainland China. Since the nationalists weren’t too keen on reading Mao’s Little Red Book, they fled the country and set up shop in what is now Taiwan. Back in the days of the Cold War, America would vocally support Taiwan’s right to independence and try to get China to lay off, wouldya?
Then two Bushes and the Commander in Briefs happened.
The first Bush in question is George H. W. Bush, who was President during a time when Chinese students were protesting for government reform and freedom, culminating in a stand-off in Tienanmen Square. And by “stand-off,” I mean one student literally stood in front of a tank line, creating one of the most iconic moments of the 20th Century, if not of all time. Bush, to his credit, called for China to address its human rights violations (good thing China didn’t respond by saying “You first, dickweeds.”) and promised harsh sanctions if the Chinese government didn’t change its ways.
Annnnnnnd then Bush promptly backed down faster than an Internet tough guy whose bluff gets called. No human rights violations address, no sanctions, not even the ultimate of geopolitical smackdowns, a tersely-worded memo from the UN giving China 1248 more chances to shape up before another memo gets sent. The horror!
And if that assfucking wasn’t bad enough, Bill Clinton not only overlooked China’s human rights violations, but gave them Most Favored Nation status without China having to fix anything! For those of you playing along at home, Most Favored Nation status is basically the US saying they want to do a lot of business with a country because we think it would be in both countries’ best interests. Good thing that turned out so well or we’d be totally fucked right now…oh, wait.
And to complete this shit sandwich, George W. Bush decided it would be a good idea to sell a significant portion of our national debt to China in exchange for…well, nothing really. Now, I’m no Paul Krugman (which is actually a boon in this case since it means I know a thing or two about economics), but I believe that would give China significant leverage over us. Whether they would use it to fuck us over is a matter of some debate, but the fact we have this Sword of Damocles hanging over our heads in the first place isn’t a good thing. Even if China is buying our stuff.
Yeah, about that. Turns out China is on the good end of a trade deficit with us. The figures from just this year show we are importing far more goods from China than they are importing from us. And it’s a trend that’s been going on for quite a while. In fact, we have to go all the way back to 1985 to find an annual trade deficit where the two sides are even remotely close. And the last time we posted a positive trade deficit with China? April 1986.
In the interest of fairness, we haven’t exactly been wowing Taiwan with our goods, either. Even so, when you compare the deficits with China to the deficits with Taiwan, it’s clear we’ve been more willing to work with the dictators than the people we allege to support.
Then, there’s the whole One China policy. To put it simply, China believes it is the only legitimate government for China and Taiwan, and the rest of the world…agrees. In spite of our chest-thumping about supporting freedom worldwide (see the established squawking points re: Ukraine), America fucking sucks when it comes to walking the walk. We can’t even have political figures say whether Taiwan is a country without there being controversy.
Hey, Taiwan. Ask Israel for advice on how to deal with America’s fickle foreign policy. They might be able to give you some pointers and a discount on industrial drum-sized containers of KY Jelly.
It’s this kind of duplicitous dumbfuckery that makes it hard for anyone else around the world to take us seriously. Granted, Joe Biden already gave us the fast track on that long before he was President, but this is well beyond even Biden’s ability to fuck things up. This was a team effort.
Although it’s easy for me to sit behind a keyboard and bitch about the matters at hand, I understand the predicament America put itself in through bad economic planning, worse political gamesmanship, and an apathetic public wanting more faster and cheaper than we’re willing to wait to be produced ourselves. With China having both an impressive potential economic market and a pretty sizable bargaining chip, we have a built-in incentive not to piss them off under any circumstances. This puts Taiwan in a rough spot. Not only is one of the world’s largest military machines breathing down its neck like Joe Biden at an elementary school photo op, but the largest and most technically advanced military on the planet can’t be bothered to show up because we need cheap electronics.
With friends like us, who needs enemas? Or enemies, for that matter.
While Nancy Pelosi’s visit to Taiwan made for interesting news, it exposed a fundamental weakness in our foreign policy with Taiwan and China and reiterated an oft-repeated doubt among other countries when it pertains to the way we claim to support freedom, but only when it suits our interests. If there is a silver lining to Pelosi’s visit, it’s the fact even she couldn’t fuck up our foreign policy any worse than it already is.
A Nuclear Iran?
While people’s attentions have been focused on the war in Ukraine (if their Twitter bios are any indication), there have been some big goings on in the Middle East, namely Iran. A recent story from The Jerusalem Post suggests Iran might either be close to or has nuclear weapon capability. Granted, this is a report from Iran itself filtered through Al Jazeera (the Salon of the Islamic world in your humble reporter’s opinion), so we might have to take Iran’s word with a Mount Everest-sized grain of salt.
However, I happen to take a slightly less optimistic view of this news. For a few years now, I have predicted Iran would go nuclear sooner rather than later, and it wouldn’t be for power generation as the Iranian government and their Leftist enablers in America would have us believe. Think about it for a moment. Iran has one of the largest oil deposits in the world under their feet, so why would they want to go nuclear?
Here’s a hint: they’re not trying to go green, kids.
The fact of the matter is Iran has had nuclear designs since former President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad (whom I affectionately call Mahmoud Imadinnerjacket) came onto the scene. At the time, Leftists swooned over Imadinnerjacket because he was critical of then-President George W. Bush. (That, and Leftists are massive dumbasses when it comes to the Middle East.) After a brief love affair, Leftists must have lost his number and promptly ghosted him. Either that, or it was his speech where he claimed there were no gay people in Iran (mainly because he killed them on sight). Six of one, half a dozen of another, I guess…
Anyway, we managed to stymie Iran’s nuclear development until President Barack Obama decided the people who loved to chant “Death to America” were trustworthy enough to honor a deal with us to not develop nuclear weapons in exchange for the easing of sanctions against them. Oh, and a tidy $1.7 billion in cash. No way that could backfire, amirite? Not with the brilliant foreign policy of John “I Was For Kissing Iran’s Ass Before I Was For It” Kerry!
As little faith as I have in Kerry’s ability to negotiate for a $5 foot long at Subway, I have even less faith in Iran telling us the truth. Not only do they have a vested interest in keeping their nuclear arms program on the lowest of down-lows, but they still see us as an enemy to be wiped from the face of this earth. Although with inflation these days, we may be downgraded from “Great Satan” to “Mostly Okay Satan” to save some money, but the point remains the same. We are less likely to see Seth Rogan winning a Best Actor Oscar than we are to making Iran our newest buddy.
Of course, no foreign policy blunder would be complete without some level of confusion. Although the Iran Deal promised it would prevent Iran from getting nuclear weapons, there is some controversy over whether Iran actually kept up its end of the deal. Of course, when these accusations went public, Iran claimed it was the coalition that put the Iran Deal together that reneged on the agreement, which left them free to continue what they were most likely doing in the first place.
Complicating matters further is the aforementioned announcement came with a threat to attack Israel (who actually is a buddy globally) if they attempt to stop Iran’s nuclear development. Historically, the US and Israel have been on good terms, but recently that hasn’t always been the case. Thanks to former President Obama, Israel has learned it can’t always count on us to back its play on the geopolitical stage. Even with Obama’s former Vice President at the helm, there haven’t been any indications President Biden will be recycling the Obama approach. Even so, I’m guessing Israel might still have a few sleepless nights worrying.
After all, the President is a guy who thought dividing Iraq into three separate states was a good idea.
Either way, there may be some out there who question the Jerusalem Post‘s reporting since they have a vested interest in parroting the official line of the country. This is a fair point, in my opinion, but it also applies to Al Jazeera. If bias is a disqualifying point for one side, it needs to be a disqualifying point for both sides. Of course, Leftists don’t want that since they have a hate boner for Israel. Not their money, mind you. Just the country itself. Plus, the Left has raved about Al Jazeera’s reporting for years now, which calls into question how objective they can be with the Jerusalem Post. (Not to mention whether they know the first thing about actual reporting.)
For me, it’s pretty much a wash. If we’re being honest (and I really have no reason not to be here), it’s clear both the Jerusalem Post and Al Jazeera have agendas, which will skew everything from hard news to the weather report if unchecked. So, which side is telling the truth?
That’s when I apply a little common sense to see if I can find the more plausible/likely scenario. Neither Israel nor Iran has completely clean hands, but Iran has been playing around in the coal mines from a transparency perspective. They have a long track record of not digging our scene, which gives them every justification in their minds to try to pull one over on us. What better way to do that than by developing nuclear weapons in direct defiance of our efforts and the Iran Deal we put in place?
Israel, on the other hand, doesn’t have any such motivation. They are stronger than they let on, but they still need our help to maintain that strength. And let’s not overlook the fact Israel has had nukes since the mid-to-late 60s and hasn’t once threatened to destroy us. That goes a long way with me.
When all these factors are considered, it’s more likely Iran has nuclear weapons, but has been slow-rolling us to give the impression they’re complying with the Iran Deal. There are just too many questions to give them the benefit of the doubt here.
And that should scare the shit out of us. The fact the prospect of a nuclear Iran isn’t even a blip on our proverbial radar is a bad sign foretelling a worse outcome unless we take it seriously.
In a society where we’re more worked up over the number of genders than we are a country that hates our guts and will be a nuclear power sooner rather than later, is it any wonder I think we’re doomed?
The TikTok War
If you can believe it, the conflict between Ukraine and Russia is now over 100 days old. What’s worse, I still have my Horrendous Withdrawal from Afghanistan decorations up!
For a brief time, it seemed Ukraineamania was running wild. Everybody and their grandmothers were putting Ukrainian flags on their Twitter profiles along with supportive phrases showing how much they support freedom because, well, freedom. Then, over time, the virtual support was still there, but the vocal support died out. Even the media moved on, save for occasional puff pieces on Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelenskyy that would make Teen Beat sue for copyright infringement.
It wasn’t until recently that I noticed the void of pro-Ukraine voices, and it got me thinking as to why. I came up with two possible reasons, one more plausible than the other given the American media. The first reason was the media was so heavily invested in backing Ukraine that they were hiding bad news to maintain the facade. Although this is true to form for the media (see President Joe Biden), I decided it wasn’t the case because it would require actual journalism to be done and today’s media just aren’t up to the task.
The other, more plausible explanation is the media stopped covering it like it did in the beginning, so people stopped paying attention to it. I mean, it’s not like there are people dying for their country or anything, right? Oh, wait…
This lack of attention isn’t just at the personal level, either. In the past 100+ days, has anyone who beat the drums of war like a Neil Peart solo come up with a concrete reason why the US has to get involved in the Ukraine/Russia conflict? If they have, they’ve hidden it pretty well. And, yes, I know “because freedom” is persuasive to Americans because we value it so much, but that isn’t a justification to commit to an action. If it were, US forces would have been deployed to a few African countries where young men are fighting for freedom against an oppressive government.
Funny how that works, isn’t it?
Seriously, though, the fact we don’t have any straight answers about our involvement in the Ukraine/Russia conflict, let alone the conflict itself, has been a sore spot for me since the beginning. If I am to support intervention in a foreign country, I kinda need a reason I can sink my teeth into intellectually. The lack of such a reason leads me to believe there isn’t a good reason to do it, so we’re left with appeals to emotion to pick up the slack. It works well for a while, but once the emotions die down, we’re still lacking a reason.
What’s worse is most people don’t see the issue. After all, we just had the Johnny Depp/Amber Heard trial and that was super-important! I mean, the legal implications may last for at least a week, maybe two!
The problem is this makes us look fickle in foreign affairs. It doesn’t seem to matter if Ukraine loses a significant number of people in this conflict because we’ve moved onto the next super-important issue (even if we haven’t updated our Twitter accounts yet). This turns the conflict into the geopolitical equivalent of a TikTok dance craze, which does a great disservice to the people we allegedly support.
Here’s where the shit really hits the fan. Our gradual disinterest in what’s going on in Ukraine helps Vladimir Putin because it gives him the belief we will lose our taste for war if he just waits us out. And the sad thing is he’s right. American attention spans are shorter than an ant’s inseam and we get attracted by a new shiny object/issue on the regular.
That’s right, kids. America has ADD.
In matters of pop culture, this isn’t a big deal, but on the battlefield it’s deadly. If we insist on fighting Russia via proxy, we need an explanation, and by my calculation, it’s overdue by, oh, 100 days. If there isn’t one better than “Ukraine Good, Russia Bad” or “because freedom,” then we need to rethink our strategy and justifications for getting involved. There have been too many wars in recent history that have ended badly because we didn’t have a real reason to get involved and were too stubborn to admit it.
So, let’s have it, so we can have it out once and for all. And let’s make it sooner rather than later in case there’s a new dance craze on TikTok.