Before I delve into this week’s Leftist batshittery, I do want to apologize for going into another immigration piece. I didn’t plan for it, but it just so happened birthright citizenship exploded last week, so I felt it needed some attention. Going forward I will do my best to vary the topics and give my slightly undercooked takes and marginal humor a chance to bore you with more variety.
So until then, let’s dive right in!
Immigration has provided America with a rich tapestry of cultures and traditions because we have opened our arms to so many people throughout the years. Even with this, many immigrants (and recent visitors, for that matter) have grown to love our little country and want to be more like us. As a result, these people assimilate to our culture.
Which Leftists don’t like, yet claim every immigrant assimilates to our country and culture. So, I figured we’re due for a little lesson in assimilation.
assimilation
What the Left thinks it means – what every immigrant does
What it really means – what some immigrants do, but not enough
At the turn of the 20th Century, we had an influx of immigrants looking to start a new life in America. This started a concept called the American melting pot where these multiple cultures came together to make our country stronger.
Well, except for the Irish. They had a slightly less cordial greeting in some sections.
For the most part, America remained a melting pot for generations, with each new one assimilating to our culture while Americans adopted some of the cultural aspects of the old world, as it were. It didn’t mean these new Americans abandoned their old ways; they integrated those ways into the American experience.
Then, somewhere in the late 20th Century, some people got it in their heads that being American wasn’t all that great and that the best way to become an American was to force the people here to adopt your ways. I think it might have been Jerry Lewis. Or Menudo.
Regardless of who started the idea that assimilation wasn’t necessary to be an American, it started the expectation that America would bend over backwards to welcome them. And by expectation, I mean demand. Before you could say “Habla Ingles” we started seeing government documents written in multiple languages, having to press 2 to continue in English, and other signs that the people coming into the country had no interest in assimilating to our country. That’s not just a dick move, but as we’ve seen in the past year or so, it’s becoming deadly.
On the other hand, Americans are expected to assimilate to the norms of foreign countries even when on vacation. And if we don’t, we’re called “ugly Americans.” Speaking as an ugly American, I say I was born looking this way, so back off man!
But more to the point, these foreign countries have a point. Even if it’s for a short period, we should try to blend in as much as we can.
Let’s say I’m moving to France for my retirement. (To the French people reading this, I’m not actually coming, so you don’t have to pull out your surrender flags.) Before I even filled out my change of address card, the very least I would do is learn to speak French. After all, it’s hard to pantomime you have to take a shit without people looking at you funny.
Not that I know anything about that, mind you…
Along with picking up the native language, I would pick up as much of the French and local culture as I could to make sure I could function. Sure, I might still get called an ugly American, but at least I made the effort.
Is that so much to ask of people coming to America?
Apparently it is because to many (especially on the Left) adapting your original culture in favor of the American culture is betrayal. And the Left is more than willing to enable you to defy norms (and not just the guy from “Cheers” or the late Mr. Macdonald). After all, your culture is bound to be better than ours right?
Not so much.
For all of its faults, America is the place to be. I don’t see too many people trying to escape America to head to Cuba, CODEPINK notwithstanding. And let’s face it, those who would are dumbasses, so we would actually gain by losing. The only downside is Cuba may haul us before The Hague for war crimes by sending too many dumbass Leftists (but I repeat myself) to their country.
If we want more immigrants to want to assimilate, we have to lean into the fact America is pretty awesome. So, maybe we make some changes to the current immigration policy, which makes less sense than a Kamala Harris speech.
I’m not big on loyalty oaths, but I am big on Ameri-countability Buddies! That’s right, kids, every immigrant gets an America to keep tabs on them to acclimate our new proto-Americans to what we have to offer. This will be a 12 month commitment, but it’s essential to help them go from new kid in town to pure 100% USDA grade A Murkan.
The Ameri-countability Buddy will work with the immigrants to help them get on their feet with mastering the language, or at least getting them to the point they can hold a longer conversation than “I’ll take a #5 Burger Meal with a Coke.” Within that 12 months, the Ameri-countability Buddy will help the new immigrants find gainful employment, a home of their own, how to find and utilize civic and mercantile entities, and give them a sense of what is means to be American.
But it’s not all work! Once a month, the immigrant and the Ameri-countability Buddy get to go to a quintessentially American experience. Like monster truck rallies. Of course, we’ll kick in a few bucks to help things along because Murka. There will be opportunities for cross-cultural exchanges because assimilation requires a willingness on both sides of the ledger to share joy, company, and food.
So how does one become an Ameri-countabilty Buddy? It’s simple. You have to meet a few conditions.
1. You must love America.
2. You can’t be a Leftist. (Although I’m pretty sure number 1 would weed out most of them.)
3. You must be willing to open your home to an immigrant.
As far as the immigrants are concerned, we have a few conditions as well.
1. You must want to be an American.
2. No criminal behavior or you get a ride in the Deportation Catapult with a helmet, pads, and a pillow.
3. You must be willing to share your culture with us while adopting ours in the process.
Pretty simple, really. This is only a rough draft at this point (mainly because we’re still trying to get the patent on the Deportation Catapult), but it’s a good start.
Look, I know assimilation is a hard road, but if you’re driven to become an American, it’s worth it. We have people on waiting lists around the world wanting to live here even for a couple of years. If that doesn’t tell you how awesome America is as a country, nothing will.
Plus, we kick ass when it comes to fast food.
Category: Foreign Affairs
Leftist Lexicon Word of the Week
Although it’s still a fairly recent series of events, we’ve already seen some weird shit surrounding the situation in Iran. After months of saying President Donald Trump wouldn’t do anything about Iran, Leftists woke up to find the President posting on Truth Social threatening to bomb Iran into the Stone Age, which would actually be an upgrade for them. This got their collectivist panties in a bunch and tried to say the President threatened genocide, which is a war crime.
So, saying you’re going to destroy a civilization that wants us dead without actually doing it is horrible?
Anyway, while the Left was trying to get another No Kings protest march organized, the US and Iran agreed to a two-week ceasefire. Of course, the Left was overjoyed because it allowed them to resurrect one of their favorite acronyms: TACO, which stands for Trump Always Chickens Out.
So, Trump was a war criminal for threatening to attack Iran, but not that he’s not, he’s a coward?
Folks, don’t try to figure out the Left’s logic here because there isn’t any. Instead, sit back and enjoy a deep dive into a shallow concept.
TACO
What the Left thinks it means – a way to mock the President for never following through on his grandiose threats
What it really means – a half-baked concept popular only within Leftist circles
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again because otherwise this is going to be a short Lexicon entry: Leftists are masters at using language to further their goals. It doesn’t hurt that they have the bulk of the media willing to do their bidding, mind you, but you get the idea.
The concept of TACO came into being in May 2025 when Leftists started mocking President Trump for his habit of making threats and then backing down. They went so far as to offer free tacos near Republican National Committee Headquarters. As you might expect, it went over as well as Bill Cosby Appreciation Night at a NOW conference.
Just a quick safety tip: stay away from the pudding.
With the predictability of a Hannah Gadsby comedy special being unfunny, the Left recycled this bad idea to criticize his words against Iran. But unlike last time, there’s been some pushback from Democrat politicians who took a more realistic, but still critical, approach. When you lose members of your own side…
Not that it’s going to stop the usual dumbasses from making political hay out of this turn of events, mind you. The Left thinks TACO has staying power, so they’ll keep using it whenever they think it will make Trump look indecisive and/or cowardly.
It’s at this point I feel obligated to step in and give some advice to our Leftist fiends…I mean friends. Quit while you’re still behind. This TACO shit isn’t working. Oh, sure, it’s good for a laugh with your hivemind mates, but it’s not resonating with anyone else.
Not to mention, it makes no sense given how you were telling everyone Trump was going to commit genocide. If you knew he was going to chicken out, why go to the trouble of pissing yourselves in terror?
Simple. They wanted to create a no-win situation for Trump.
In the Leftist hivemind, Trump couldn’t win. If he bombed Iran as he said, he would be guilty of war crimes (according to them) and be subject to expulsion via the 25th Amendment. If he didn’t, they could say he was too much of a coward to go through with it.
Then, Trump announced a temporary ceasefire. That kinda put a kink in the Left’s Kobayashi Maru and left them looking like Kobayashi Maroons in the process. Then again, this was utterly predictable from the people who cheered when President Barack Obama gave pallets of cash to Iran with the understanding they wouldn’t use it to develop nuclear weapons, but not doing jack shit to ensure they wouldn’t. In spite of their protestations to the contrary, Leftists are dumbasses when it comes to foreign policy. And domestic policy. And economic policy. And environmental policy.
Come to think of it, are Leftists good at anything other than being utterly wrong all the time?
As it turns out, they’re great at reanimating the corpse of ideas that didn’t work the first time around. At least they believe in recycling.
The problem is TACO isn’t worth reanimating. It’s possible to criticize the President’s Iran policy (which seems to be “blow up their shit and let God sort out the oil rights”) without a) using an acronym that doesn’t move the needle, b) being devoid of any legitimate criticism, and c) making yourselves look like assholes.
It should be self-evident, but since it’s Leftists we’re dealing with here, I have to spell it out for them. Being reflexively anti-Trump isn’t a policy, let alone a winning one. Whenever you define yourself by what your opponent is doing, you’re telling potential voters “we got nothing.” You actually have to stand for something other than not liking what the other guy/gal (still 2 genders, kids) wants to do.
Let me put it this way. A dude who had a stroke has become the sanest one in your party, and you want to get rid of him. How’d that work out for you in 2024?
Considering we don’t have President Queen Kamala the Appointed, that should give you the answer.
And TACO ain’t going to make the midterms turn out any better. Although traditionally the party out of Presidency picks up seats in midterm elections, it hasn’t always been a done deal. Only at times when voters feel the President has royally screwed the pooch does that happen and in recent years, it seems voters are okay enough with the way President Trump handles things to give Republicans another shot at Congressional leadership, even though it’s been as successful as a wet t-shirt contest in Amish country.
Maybe it’s time to let TACO go. You could always switch things up and try some other food. I know! Chinese food!
Oooh. Sorry, Representative Swalwell. Too soon?
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Leftist Lexicon Word of the Week
In case you haven’t been listening to Leftists (and, to be honest, why would you), we are at war with Iran. An illegal, unconstitutional, and all around not good war that will result in a gazillion deaths of American troops, all because President Donald Trump wanted to start a war to distract from the Epstein Files, which totally prove he’s a pedophile and Trump redacted all of the references to his pedophile activities!
That and $5 can get you a cup of steamed milk with a shot of coffee at Starbucks.
I’m referring to Operation Epic Fury, because apparently Operation Kick Iranian Ass and Break Their Shit didn’t test well in focus groups. As you might expect, opinions on the matter range from pro-military jingoism to anti-military jingoism. You might say it was Jingoism Unchained.
I’ll see myself out…
Actually, I can’t because I have a Lexicon entry to finish!
Operation Epic Fury
What the Left thinks it means – a lot of saber-rattling from a weak President designed to take people’s attentions away from his shortcomings
What it really means – a long-overdue military strike with the possibility of the shit hitting the fan
War in the Middle East is as constant as Leftists being shrill and annoying. Unlike the latter, however, the Middle East isn’t going to ask to speak to our manager. Instead, they’re going to fight the Great Satan,
And given how the US military is an NRA wet dream, it’s not going to be a long fight.
At least, I hope it’s not going to be a long fight. The last time we got involved in that neck of the world, we were there for a while and it ended badly.
While the warhawks, the chickenhawks, and the jive turkeys battle it out in the Thunderdome of ideas, there are a couple of things I need to point out, both of which are directly related to the Left’s bitching over the war.
First, what Trump did isn’t illegal. There’s a little thing called the War Powers Resolution of 1973 that gives the President a far wider berth to initiate military action prior to a formal declaration of war. As long as the President lets Congress know within 48 hours, he/she (still 2 genders, kids) has a total of 90 days before a formal war declaration has to be made.
And, guess what? He did.
I know Leftists work within a different frame of reality than the rest of us, but you’re gonna have a hard time convincing me following the letter and the spirit of the law is illegal.
Now, for the Constitutional part of the lesson. As yet, there hasn’t been a challenge to the War Powers Resolution’s constitutionality by either major party, and I get why: both sides want to be able to wage war without having to go through the actual process of declaring it. Because of this, the War Powers Resolution has been invoked 130 times between 1973 and 2011. Oddly enough, 130 is also the average age of Congresscritters, but I digress.
The point is until the War Powers Resolution is struck down by the US Supreme Court, it’s as constitutional as, well, the Constitution. Just because Congressional Leftists got assmad they weren’t allowed to blab about it ahead of the attack doesn’t mean the Constitution was circumvented. Given how our Leftist pals have a tendency to leak information to foreign powers (I’m looking at you Eric “Fang Fang’s Bitch” Swalwell), I can understand why the Trump Administration didn’t let Congress know too far in advance.
On a side note, I didn’t have “Leftists cheering for people who literally do what they say Christian Nationalists want to do” on my 2026 Bingo card, but here we are.
As much fun as it is to point and laugh at the Left being caught up on the 20 side of an 80-20 issue, we have to maintain some perspective. War isn’t an IRL Call of Duty game. Shit gets real really fast. And despite the calls of the neocons, the warhawks, and more than a few military hardware suppliers, war shouldn’t be the default position. It should be a last step, period.
This is where things get a little dicey for me. On the one hand, Iran has wanted us dead for almost have a century and wasn’t shy about letting us know. On the other, any American intervention in the Middle East has the potential to be a beachfront quagmire of a clusterfuck. If we want to make progress there, we can’t half-ass it. We have to go in with our full ass and get shit done.
That’s where we’ve dropped the ball in the past. Although the Left accuses the Trump Administration of trying to conduct nation-building in Iran and elsewhere, the fact is we’re more nation-subcontractors. We’ll go in and wreck shit, but once the destruction is done, a lot of times we bail out before the country we’ve turned into rubble and shell casings can ask “So, now what?”
And given the fact we got Iran into this mess in the first place back in 1979, we kinda owe it to Iran to fix this situation.
That’s why we have to be verrrrrrry careful how we proceed with Operation Epic Fury. Especially with the spelling. I’ve already seen the Interwebs calling it Operation Epic Furry, and when you go furry, there’s no going back.
Don’t ask me how I know.
The point is we broke Iran, and now we have to fix it and do it better than we’ve done, well, since 1979. We have a bad track record when it comes to the “so now what” phase of the military action, and that has to stop. In the aftermath of war, there’s a lot of rebuilding to be done, especially when it comes to infrastructure. When we go into a country and break their shit, we look pretty shitty when we disappear like Claude Rains cosplaying as Harvey the Rabbit leaving the people we were helping to pick up after us. Dick move, bro!
Now, we need to approach Iran with the same attitude we had after World War II. Not only did we blow shit up, but we helped rebuild the countries we blew up. That helped build our reputation around the world as one of the good guys, and we need that kind of positive PR these days after decades of being hands-on when it came to blowing shit up, but hands-off when it came time to build shit back up.
And if Trump can do that, he will go a long way towards solidifying his place in history, but grease the skids for the GOP going into midterms and the 2028 Presidential election. Granted, the Left are too busy being tone deaf assholes to field an even marginally passable candidate or come up with a platform that will appeal to people who have normal hair colors, but let’s not count our chickens before they hatch here.
Regardless of how you feel about Operation Epic Fury, it’s a little late to try to pull back the reins to get our war machine to slow down, let alone stop. We’re involved, so we have to be willing to do all of the hard work now and later. If we don’t, we’re looking at having Iran hate us even more than they already did under the religious leadership there before we gave them backstage access to the hereafter.
And the 72 virgins? All dead ringers for Yasser Arafat. Or is that Ringo Starr?
Leftist Lexicon Word of the Week
Although the Lexicon primarily features issues originating in the US of A (as opposed to Canada, which is the US of Eh), sometimes the subject matter crosses international boundaries. In this case, the origin of this week’s Lexicon starts in Jolly Old England (as opposed to Canada, which is Jolly Old Eh-gland.)
It starts with an online game called Pathways (think a cheerier version of “Depression Quest”) where the user navigates through a series of events in an attempt to dissuade him or her from falling for online extremist propaganda. Welllll…let’s just say it backfired. Instead of educating users (primarily teenagers) about the dangers of propaganda, it is propaganda in and of itself by painting anyone to the right of Josef Stalin as an extremist.
I could talk all day about propaganda (as my lovely wife will tell you), but the focus of this week’s Lexicon is on the concept of online extremism. I’ll be the first one to tell you the Interwebs is a hotbed of people nuttier than elephant shit, but does that make them extremists?
Depends on who you ask.
online extremism
What the Left thinks it means – Internet propaganda designed to persuade gullible people to adopt right wing beliefs and ideas
What it really means – Internet propaganda designed to persuade gullible people to adopt any wing’s beliefs and ideas
So, where do I begin? Well, let me just start by saying online extremism is not just a right wing issue. There is and always has been a section of online culture dominated by left wing thinking, but they’ve been mostly relegated to backwater channels with an echo chamber bigger than the Grand Canyon. Or, as it’s called today, Bluesky.
That in and of itself isn’t that big a deal to me. I’m a big fan of letting people say what’s on their minds, even if I disagree with it. For one, it fosters more and better communication than banning it out of turn. For another, it’s always a good way to see where the assholes are so you can avoid them. Unless you want to point and laugh, which is easier when they make themselves known. So, there are plenty of good reasons not to silence people.
Having said all that, there are people out there who have completely lost the fucking plot and say/advocate for the weirdest shit out there. And that’s just the diaper fur community. (Safety Tip from your buddy Tom: If you don’t know, don’t look for it. Only furry evil in diapers greets you there.) Up until recently, people have been able to ignore the fringe players because they’ve been woefully unequipped to do anything about it. I knew a Pat Buchanan supporter who talked a big game, but was so short he made Nick Fuentes look like Andre the Giant. Needless to say, he wasn’t considered much of a threat.
Nowadays, it’s that kind of freak that has the power of an echo chamber telling him/her what they’re doing is completely cool and not at all too extreme. And it’s shit like this that got Renee Good shot and killed. Somewhere in her mind, she thought “running over an ICE agent is totes normal, dude” and used that thought to spur action.
Now, who could have put that idea in her head? I mean, it’s not like the Left has painted ICE in a negative light by calling them Nazis or comparing them to secret police or the Gestapo, right?
Except for Governor TIMMAH!
And Governor Gavin Newsom.
And Governor JB Pritzker.
And Senator Jeff Merkley.
And Senator Mark Warner.
And Representative Eric Swalwell.
And Representative Rashida Tlaib.
Wow. Come to think of it, there are a lot of Democrats and Leftists pulling the “ICE is the secret police/Gestapo/fascist/Nazi” card.
So, maybe the Left has a hand in the escalation of rhetoric against ICE, which is inspiring Leftist extremists to act. But remember, kids, it’s the MAGA crowd that are the violent ones because January 6th.
All that IMAX-level projection aside, online extremism is a legitimate problem, one being stoked by people we shouldn’t want to hang out with at all, man. And they all have the same problem: a messiah complex that rivals Oprah’s. With that messiah complex comes a lot of gatekeeping so only the true believers can stick around.
Naturally, that means more sensible people saying “Yanno, you might not want to drive a truck into a bunch of protesters/ICE agents” will be excommunicated and turned into the enemy, even if their opinions align with everything else the self-professed leader believes. The odd thing about these leaders of cults of personality is they often don’t have one of their own, so they borrow from someone else. Even self-styled “free thinkers” may fall victim to the kind of extremism that meets them where their biases are.
Not that this happens to too many people, right? (I’m looking at you, Bill Maher.)
Those assholes can be dangerous, what what of the followers themselves? That’s a bit of a mixed bag. The more gung ho a follower is, the more extreme he or she (still 2 genders) is likely to be. As you get further and further away from the epicenter of extremism, the less likely it is you’re dealing with an extremist. Sure, there are some who will drink the Flavor-Ade because everybody else is doing it (gotta love that peer pressure), but you’re going to find some who see the folly of it all and aren’t as willing to go along to get along.
The problem is neither side wants to separate the reasonable from the batshit insane. That would take too much effort, after all, and we don’t want people to think we’re not down for the cause because we happen to think not engaging in stupid shit is the correct path forward.
This is the time when we have to determine whether the loudest voices are the leaders or just so loud they drown out the actual leaders. I’ve seen this with the gay rights movement, the trans rights movement, the pro choice and pro life movements, the Religious Right, and so many others. And when you’re faced with the loudest voices, it gets really easy to slide into groupthink and become one of the masses, minus the “m.”
But that’s where being able to determine the difference comes in handy. If someone is loud, it doesn’t make him or her right; it just makes them harder to ignore. But is also makes them easier to mock for being loud and annoying, so there’s that.
How this applies to extremism is we have to separate the ring leaders from the ring followers because they are not always the same people. A militant trans rights activist may talk a big game, but wuss out at the first signs of it being go time. These are the ones who probably won’t decide to shoot up a Christian school, but they still have the ability to give those who do have a propensity towards violence to think the only way to fix things is to pull a “Death Wish.” They’re extremists of a sort, but more extremist-adjacent.
Think Charlie Manson versus the Manson Family members who murdered Sharon Tate, among others. The members committed the crimes, but they wouldn’t have happened without ole Charlie.
“But, Thomas,” you might be saying, “are you literally comparing trans activists to Charles Manson?” No. What I’m saying is there are some people who can inspire others to take action they might not otherwise take by instilling them with destructive thoughts. And we’re not just talking about Leftists here, folks. There are plenty of hair-triggers on the Right who would love nothing more than to start shit so they can pretend to be badasses, all from the safety of their double-wides, while others are doing the actual shit.
And all from the behind protection of a computer or phone screen.
There is a term from the Interwebs that describe these people perfectly: keyboard warriors. Now, there are some willing to put the emphasis on the latter rather than the former, which makes for a really awkward time all the way around when the fit hits the shan. (Hat tip to Larry Elder for that one.)
What Pathways gets wrong is it tries to water down the definition of extremism to an absurd degree. Even someone saying “we should be proud of being British” gets looped in with anyone who wants to put every immigrant into a chipper shredder, when that’s simply not the case. There may be some overlap between the two, but not enough to lump the former in with the latter.
Unless, of course, you’re being intellectually dishonest, which Pathways is being. The “right” course of action according to the game isn’t always the most logical. In one part of the game, you are given a choice to ignore what they deem inflammatory rhetoric, look for more information, or go from 0 to extremist by joining in the inflammatory fun. In the game, the only viable option is to ignore the rhetoric. Anything else gets you branded an extremist.
Put another way, the game punishes you for trying to be well-informed.
Which makes you more susceptible to extremist positions.
Which defeats the purpose of the game.
Unless, of course, the purpose of the game is to enable certain extremist positions…
Saaaaaaaaay! I think I’ve stumbled upon the real reason this game exists! And considering it’s targeting teenagers (who cling to popularity and clout like Hunter Biden hangs onto his crack dealer’s number), the goal is to get them to accept a set of ideas so they’ll be popular, cool, and have social clout, all without having to do anything but listen and believe.
Hmmmm…that’s a catchy little saying. I hope nobody unscrupulous ever latches onto it.
Meanwhile, what we can do to avoid being sucked in by online extremism, or extremism in general, is apply a little common sense. If you wouldn’t allow someone else to do it to you, don’t do it to other people. And if someone you know is rushing headlong towards extremism, try to pull them back. If they don’t want to come back from the edge, let them go. It may hurt, but it hurts a lot less than being buggered night after night in federal pound you in the ass prison.
Not that I know anything about that, mind you…
Leftist Lexicon Word of the Week
Remember the War on Drugs started in the 1980s? I do. My brain still looks like a sunny-side up egg, but that’s not important right now. What is important is America has fought a halfhearted war against drugs and we’ve been worse for wear because of it.
That is until Donald Trump got reelected. Now, we’re putting firepower behind the War on Drugs with the Department of War taking the lead on turning alleged drug trafficking boats into the world’s most addictive flotsam. And, right on cue, the Left has a problem with it. But this week, their efforts went up a notch with several Leftists calling what the President and Secretary of War Pete “Let’s Tap That Keg” Hegseth authorized war crimes.
The accusation is pretty heavy, so let me try to make fun of it!
war crimes
What the Left thinks it means – serious and inexcusable crimes committed by the current Administration
What it really means – the next phase of the Left’s attempt to undermine the military under Trump
The concept of war crimes is rooted in the Geneva Convention (not nearly as fun as a Shriner’s convention, but I digress), and it outlines how enemy soldiers and prisoners of war are to be treated. Keep in mind this is in the aftermath of World War II, where POWs were treated worse than a British substitute teacher in Belfast, so the spirit of the document has a foundation in humane treatment.And should someone or some country decide not to play by these rules, they can get charged with war crimes by the International Criminal Court.
This is a great thing when we’re dealing with warring nations, but what about different types of wars where there aren’t warring countries? Welllll…that’s where things get a little murky, at least for me. When you consider the bulk of the military actions America has undertaken since the Geneva Convention have not been officially declared wars, it brings up the question of whether the concept of war crimes even applies here. That’s where the concept is subject to interpretation, or misinterpretation as the case may be.
Enter our good fiends…I mean friends on the Left. As I’ve noted before, the Left loves it when things are unclear because they can then inject their perceptions into the discussion, even if they’re batshit crazy. Then, by operating in the uncertainty, they can control the narrative, which is always their endgame.
This begs the question of whether blowing up suspected drug runner boats constitutes violations of the Geneva Convention. The simple answer as I see it is not really, and it’s predicated on the fact Congress hasn’t declared war yet. That gives me a chance to talk about Article 1, Section 8 of the Constitution again because it’s there that we find who can declare war, and surprise surprise, it’s Congress!
If the Founding Fathers saw the absolute nozzleheads running Congress these days, they might have changed their minds, but that’s a post for another time.
Anyway, the point remains Congress didn’t declare war, as is often the case with Presidents who want to appear like a military leader against foes far weaker than we are. For everything else, there’s hookers and blow…or diplomacy. You know, whichever works.
Further complicating matters (because of-fucking-course) is the War Powers Resolution of 1973. This law requires the President to report to Congress whenever there’s the potential for hostilities to break out, but also allows the President to deploy troops for 60 days without a Congressional vote. So, I’m going to go out on a limb and say the President told Congress (and the rest of the country for that matter) that the Department of War was going to play Battleship: The Narco-Terrorist Edition well before any attacks began, so that requirement was met a looooooong time ago. And I’m gonna say blowing up shit constitutes hostilities.
And now for the best part? The President doesn’t have to have Congress do shit for 60 days, which oddly enough is roughly twice as many days as they’re in session. Granted, I’m guessing things might take a little longer than 60 days because we’re dealing with drug cartels here, but with the current makeup of Congress, a vote would most likely be a mere formality.
So, that’s why the Left went all in on the war crimes idea. If they can convince enough people what the President is doing violates the Geneva Convention, they can sway public opinion to…make drug dealers look like poor victims, I guess? (Hey, nobody said Leftists were smart.)
However, to fully understand the strategy, we need to look back at a recent video from six members of Congress who were either in the military or in the intelligence community. In that video (and in subsequent appeals in the media to take the heat off), they made sure to say the military didn’t have to obey illegal orders. Since then, not a one of the fucknuggets in the video or the Leftists who support the current thing could point to an illegal order the President issued, so that should be the end of it, right?
Yeahhhh, not so much.
The point of the video wasn’t to back up their claims so much as it was to instill doubt in the leadership from the President on down. Now, add in the war crimes element.
For those of you who need help connecting the dots, by suggesting Trump and Hegseth are guilty of war crimes, it reinforces the idea they’re issuing illegal orders, potentially eroding the confidence in the military and political leadership. And that leads to trouble up and down the ranks. If our military has to second-guess every order given, it prevents them from fulfilling their primary objectives: kill the enemy, break their shit, or a combination of the two.
Yeah. Pretty fucking dirty.
I’m sure there are going to be more legal arguments and laws bandied about on both sides of the war crimes question, but ultimately the heart of the matter is the Left is going to have a hard time explaining why blowing up drug boats and killing drug smugglers is a bad thing. And that’s not even getting into whether the actions constitute a war crime.
Not that it will stop Leftists from saying it or further suggesting the military should disobey the President. Even if the war crimes thing gains any traction, Leftists are still going to have to deal with being on the same side of an issue as drug cartels because…Orange Man Bad.
Again, no one ever said Leftists were smart.
Leftist Lexicon Word of the Week
When you really think about it (and I do because there’s nothing good on Netflix these days), humans have a lot of awards they give out to each other. Everything from perfect attendance at school to making significant contributions to the arts or science is subject to getting a trophy, plaque, oversized check, or some other form of recognition.
Of course, there are problems with this, namely trying to cash an oversized check requires oversized identification. But more to the point not everyone who accomplishes something gets an award and others who get them aren’t worthy of them. Either way, feefees will be hurt worse than a submissive bottom at a BDSM club.
Not that I know anything about that, mind you…
Over the past couple of months, people on both sides have been arguing about one prize in particular, that being the Nobel Peace Prize. The MAGA Right think Donald Trump should get it because of the peace deals he’s been brokering as of late between Russia and Ukraine and more recently between Israel and Hamas. The Left, of course, says Trump doesn’t deserve it because he’s an evil fascist Nazi doodoo head.
So, let’s break of a peace of the action (see what I did there?) and talk about this award.
Nobel Peace Prize
What the Left thinks it means – a coveted international award to celebrate those who promote peace around the world
What it really means – an international award given out to people for more ideological than practical reasons
The history of the Nobel Prizes in general is kinda cool. The guy who came up with them in the first place, Albert Nobel, invented dynamite, which makes him an honorary American because we love explosions. If he had invented a way to deliver meat through explosives, he would be possibly the greatest American ever, next to Chuck Norris.
Alas, he reconsidered his role in finding out a way to blow shit up, so he decided to take a more reasoned approach by recognizing people who contributed to the global society in the arts, sciences, and humanitarian efforts. Hence, the Nobel Prizes came to be.
With some prizes, like the prizes for Literature and the sciences, you can point to an actual body of work. We can debate whether the work improves humanity, but it’s there to look at.
With the Peace Prize…well, that’s another story. Since can be more of a squishy term, it’s harder to quantify what constitutes a worthy recipient, so it could literally be any criteria the Nobel Committee wants to apply.
And that’s where politics comes into play.
When you have no hard and fast rules, there are no expectations, just the word of the Committee members saying “this person is worthy of recognition.” Let’s take a look at some of the recent winners.
Yasser Arafat (1994) – Awarded as part of an effort to broker a peace treaty in the Middle East. Also, the leader of the Palestinian Liberation Organization, a known supporter of global terrorism.
International Campaign to Ban Landmines (1997) – A group that wanted to, well, ban landmines. A noble pursuit (see what I did there), but among its members was noted Leftist organization Human Rights Watch because landmines hurt human rights or something.
Doctors Without Borders/Médecins Sans Frontière (1999) – A group of medical professionals helping people globally and alerting people about humanitarian crises. Medical help is always appreciated, but I’m not clear on how the whole “raising awareness” part brings us closer to peace. I mean, doesn’t somebody have to actually do shit still?
Kofi Anan and the United Nations (2001) – I got nothing.
Jimmy Carter (2002) – I can make a case for him winning the Nobel Peace Prize for his efforts to broker peace between Israel and Egypt in the last 1970s, but this time? He was awarded for setting up the Carter Center, which focused on human rights. Unless those rights involved Jews, of course.
Shirin Edbadi (2003) – She was awarded the Nobel Peace Prize for her efforts to bring democracy to Iran and defend women’s, children’s, and refugee rights. Again, a good cause, but I’m not sure how it would help global peace. It would make Iran a little less hostile in the grand scheme of things, but that’s like Idi Amin telling Jeffrey Dahmer to cut back on the cannibalism.
Wangari Maathai (2004) – She won the Nobel Peace Prize for, as the Committee put it, “for her contribution to sustainable development, democracy, ecology, and peace.” It was almost like the Nobel Committee had to tack on “peace” at the end to justify giving her the award.
Muhammad Yunus and Grameen Bank (2006) – Collectively they…did something. Not sure what, but it was something about economic and social development…which is peaceful, I guess?
Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change and Al Gore (2007) – It was at this point the Nobel Peace Prize became a joke. Not even Dane Cook level, either. They got the Peace Prize for the same reason: being wrong about the environment. And I think Al got it for losing to George W. Bush and being wrong about the environment.
And then we get to the coup disgrace (and, no, that’s not a typo)…
Barack Obama (2009) – He won it before he did anything. You know, like drone striking innocent people?
There are more, but you get the picture. When you look at the full list of Peace Prize winners, you see a definite shift from those who actually contributed to peace and those who are getting a wider berth than Rosie O’Donnell and Michael Moore at an all-you-can-devour buffet in order to shoehorn them into the award.
And the same dickheads who swooned over Obama and Gore winning it are the ones saying Donald Trump isn’t qualified to win it in spite of the fact he’s actually trying to broker peace.
Of course, I’m half-and-half on whether Trump should be in the running. Half of me thinks it would be funny to watch Leftist heads explode at him showing up in Oslo to accept the award before the world. The other half of me thinks he’s trying too hard to get an award that doesn’t have the gravitas it once did. It’s like getting an honorary Daytime Emmy; yes it’s an award, but it’s a shitty one.
And when you consider the political leanings of those who are getting the award over the past 20-30 years, you’re more of a loser for winning it.
I’m sure the Nobel Committee reads my weekly missives judging from the Scandinavian hate mail I’ve gotten over the years, so let me give you a piece of advice. Just because you agree with your politics doesn’t mean they’re advancing peace. By expanding what the original purpose of the award means, you’ve watered it down to the point of irrelevance. I mean, you gave a Peace Prize to a fucking terrorist! Why not give Antifa one?
Wait, scratch that. You’ll take me seriously.
Regardless, you have to be a lot more selective in your selection process. Pay attention to those who are actually trying to bring about peace in our time and not just have the “oh, and peace” at the end. And sometimes you might have to hold your nose and pick someone you hate who is actually bringing about a more peaceful world by, you know, actually promoting peace.
As for the MAGA Republicans who think Trump should get it, I wouldn’t push it. If he can figure out how to get Russia and Ukraine and Israel and Hamas to get to the table and get results, then we can talk about him getting one. Until then, hold your applause until the Nobel Committee gets their heads out of their asses.
So, in 2548.
Leftist Lexicon Word of the Week
Did you know we were close to World War III? According to the Left, the US attacking Iran’s nuclear sites (which I’m sure were just making glow-in-the-dark snocones) got us involved in a war, one that our Democrat and “Independent” Congresscritters swore up and down was unconstitutional and their fellow Leftists called a war crime. Even Tucker Carlson said the bombing would get us into World War III.
Well, if this was World War III, it was the Rachel Zegler’s Snow White of World Wars.
But that’s not going to stop the Left from bringing it up as often as they can. So, that means we get a chance to point and laugh!
World War III
What the Left thinks it means – an escalation of tensions leading to a war involving and/or affecting the entire world
What it really means – a scare tactic the Left uses whenever a Republican does anything militarily
As much as I hate to admit this, I’m old enough to remember when World War III was a real possibility, or at least it seemed like it to my young mind full of Saturday morning cartoons, popular music, video arcades, and copious amounts of Mountain Dew. The Cold War made nuclear annihilation a real threat, stoked in no small part by movies like “The Day After.” Ronald Reagan even joked about bombing the Soviet Union, which freaked out a lot of people.
Then…it didn’t happen.
All that handwringing, worry, and over-the-top bullshit turned out to be nothing more than a game of Chicken, only with a greater possibility of nuclear fallout. The Berlin Wall fell like a balsa wood shed in a Cat 5 hurricane. The Soviet Bear became closer to teddy than Kodiak. And the talk of World War III could finally be put to rest.
At least until it could be brought up again at a politically expedient time, like when Donald Trump took military action.
And, you’ll be surprised to know this isn’t without purpose. The Left has been trying to paint Trump as the next Hitler. You know, like they did with George W. Bush and Mitt Romney. When you invoke this kind of imagery, it brings up memories of Nazis marching, Adolf Hitler shouting with an audience in rapt attention hanging on his every word, and…wait for it…World War II.
In fact, these days there’s a whole cottage industry around making Trump into Hitler 2.0 by any lies…I mean means necessary. Trump has a military parade to celebrate the 250th anniversary of the US Army? Hitler! Trump pushes for stricter enforcement of immigration laws? Hitler! Trump wears a red tie that hangs down lower than a well-hung midget’s dick? Totes Hitler, guys!
With this in mind, Leftists jumped on the “World War III is coming” bandwagon. And just like Err America, the current leadership of the DNC, and Angel Reese’s field goal percentage, it turned out to be very disappointing. Our bombing in Iran blew shit up, which is kinda the point of bombing in the first place. Iran’s nuclear program took a major hit (figuratively and literally), possibly hindering their ability to develop nuclear weapons.
And Leftists were left trying to make Iran, a country that stands for everything they say they’re against, look sympathetic. You know, kids, sometimes our Leftist friends emphasize the wrong half of the term “useful idiots.”
Even if you think the actions Trump took were questionable, it’s clear what he did was Constitutional, thanks to a little thing the boys in the lab call the War Powers Resolution of 1973. Without going too far into the weeds, this law gives the President the authority to initiate military action without a formal declaration of war by Congress. All the President has to do is let Congress know within 48 hours and get approval for continued military action if things go beyond 60 days.
Contrary to what Jasmine Crockett. Jamie Raskin, and Tim Kaine want us to believe, Trump acted legally and Constitutionally. Not that that’s going to stop them from proclaiming him guilty of impeachable offenses, mind you. And there’s no requirement for any President to give Congress a heads-up before military action is initiated.
Given the track record of some of the Congresscritters with regards to security (I’m looking at you, Eric “Fang Fang’s Bitch” Swalwell), I’m not sure letting them know before the planes get fueled up is the best idea.
Similarly, it’s not a good idea to give into the fear of World War III without taking the time to understand the dynamics of any potential flashpoint. Since we’re here, let’s take the Iran bombing as an example. The intelligence community (which has members dumber than two bags of hammers) said for years Iran didn’t have nuclear aspirations, only to have to come back years later and say “well, maybe they are, but it’s not for weapons.” Yet, there were enough weird coincidences that would lead someone without his or her head up his/her ass to conclude maybe Iran was trying to develop nuclear weapons. To stop that from happening and having them launch nukes on Israel (one of our allies, by the way), Trump decided to roll the dice and bomb Iran’s nuclear facilities.
And shit got blown up real good.
So, is Iran going to strike back at America? That’s hard to say, mainly because it’s hard to fathom in a traditional sense. Our military has enough technology and firepower to blow Iran into the Stone Age, which might be a cultural upgrade at this point. If they were to try to retaliate, it’s going to be on a completely different battlefield with more underhanded tactics.
So, how do you feel about those open borders now, Leftists?
There’s a possibility other countries might join Iran, but then it becomes a cost-benefit analysis more than military strategy. What would be the upside to helping Iran? Aside from sitting on more oil than a triple pepperoni pizza at a nerd’s sleepover, there isn’t much Iran can provide to help their allies. That means the risk is greater than the reward. And do you know why?
Because Trump is fucking crazy.
Or at least he knows how to act crazy when it counts. All it would take for Trump to wake up on the wrong side of the Presidential bed and he could turn Iran and a good chunk of the Middle East into the world’s largest glass sculpture. We could call it “FAFO.”
To elevate the Iran bombing to the level of the bombing of Pearl Harbor or the burning of the Reichstag is an exaggeration that would make Tommy Flanagan look like George Washington. We aren’t any closer to World War III by bombing Iran than if we sat on our hands and pretended Iran wasn’t developing nukes to be used at some point and it’s folly to think otherwise.
Granted, I still have some questions about the circumstances, even though it’s hard to argue against the final result. Having said that, I’m not going to practice my duck and cover skills over it. I’m saving my anxiety for something far more important.
Watching reruns of the Battle of the Network Stars.
Leftist Lexicon Word of the Week
The Leftist world was all atwitter (or if you prefer all aX) recently with the story of Kilmar Abrego Garcia, a poor illegal alien soul who was deported back to his home country of El Salvador, allegedly without due process. Without going too far into the weeds, let’s just say you’re more likely to catch Bernie Sanders flying on a private plane than you are to understanding the ins-and-outs of this case.
Wait. Scratch that.
So, to borrow a phrase from hack comedians, what’s the deal with deportation? It’s a complicated issue that deserves sober thinking to understand the gravitas of the subject. But since I’m already a few beers into this, you’ll have to put up with me.
deportation
What the Left thinks it means – a practice that needs to be done by the book, no matter how long it takes
What it really means – the legal consequence for illegal immigration
Contrary to what Rep. Jasmine Crockett says, illegal immigration is a crime. The law in question is the Immigration and Nationality Act which, along with other laws and regulations, provides direction for the immigration and deportation processes. Seems everything should be in order, right?
Not so much.
Much like Disney with negative reviews of “Snow White,” our political class loves to ignore the laws on the books when they’re inconvenient. And let’s just say the immigration laws are mighty inconvenient to the Left. After all, that’s the use of following immigration laws if they prevent you from ensuring Democrat control? You know, aside from those laws being the fucking laws.
That’s not to say Leftists don’t follow the laws all the time. In fact, one area where they demand the laws be followed to the letter is in…you guessed it, Frank Stallone. Actually, it’s deportation, which is really convenient considering it’s our topic for this Lexicon entry. After allowing people to enter the country through our southern border like wine moms going to a Taylor Swift concert, it’s funny to watch Leftists be such sticklers to the letter of the law.
And by “funny,” I mean calculated.
I know I’ve mentioned our good friend Saul Alinsky so often I could be his agent, but one of his Rules for Radicals applies here: “Make the enemy live up to its own book of rules.” Since Republicans believe in the rule of law (unless they find the laws inconvenient for political gain), the Left knows it has them in a box when it comes to immigration. If we have to follow the laws when it comes to stopping illegal immigration, we have to follow the laws when it comes to deportation.
And that’s where Constitutional law comes into play. The US Supreme Court previously ruled all aliens are entitled to due process under the Fifth and Fourteenth Amendments. So, that means regardless of the way they come into the country, they get their day in court.
A noble gesture in theory, but a burden in current practice, thanks to a little thing the Leftist kids like to call the Cloward-Piven Strategy. In short, this strategy is designed to achieve Leftist goals related to poverty by forcing the system to get overwhelmed. And guess how that gets accomplished: illegal immigration.
“But wait, Thomas. Wouldn’t illegal immigrants be ineligible for federal benefits?” you might ask. Or “Are you aware you’re not wearing pants?” The answer to the former is they should be, but thanks to loopholes in the law and soft-hearted and soft-brained politicians (I’m looking at you, Gavin Newsom), they gain access.
So, what does this have to do with deportation? By having to follow due process and the delays caused by so many illegal immigrants being processed over the past few years, the strain to the social safety net continues unabated.
That is, until President Trump got back into the Oval Office and decided to start enforcing immigration law. In the first six weeks, the Trump Administration deported 27,772 illegal immigrants, which is a step in the right direction. Where I think they’ve gone wrong is through fast-tracking the process. Yes, I know this plays into the Cloward-Piven and Alinsky playbooks, but it’s necessary to ensure the Left has no room to bitch. Not that it will stop them, mind you…
Nor will it stop the Left from lying. With the Kilmar Abrego Garcia case alone, we’ve seen attempts from the Left to paint him as an innocent victim denied due process and attempts from the Right to paint him as a gang-banger terrorist who has been legally deported back to his home country of El Salvador. Well, the truth is a bit murkier than these extremes are letting on.
First off, Kilmar Abrego Garcia freely admits he entered the country illegally, but has received a court order preventing him from being deported back to El Salvador out of fear of being attacked by a rival gang. So, not only have we confirmed he’s a member of a gang (MS-13 to be exactly, and I ain’t talking about Microsoft) and that he’s not supposed to be here, but he’s already had due process. But he also has a court order that should have protected him from deportation, as well as a questionable designation as a terrorist.
That means…well, a whole lotta shit, to be honest. If we deport him, we run afoul of the legal process. If we don’t deport him, he will still be affiliated with MS-13 which could put us in mortal danger.
Congratulations. We’re now in Kobayashi Maru territory.
The only way forward is being transparent, follow the law, and, oh yeah, stem the flow of illegal immigration to give the system time to catch up. And guess what the Trump Administration is doing? They’re cracking down, and that’s resulted in reduced encounters at the US/Mexico border. It’s a start, but there’s still a lot more to do.
First of all, let’s stop treating gang members like terrorists. Not only does it set a bad precedent for future Presidents, but it gives Leftists ammunition to call the deportation process into question. And, let’s face it, it’s not exactly the swiftest nor the clearest process in government. Plus, it elevates gang members, which only feeds their egos and gives them enough bravado to commit bigger, more audacious crimes. That, in turn, may cause other gangs to try to play catch-up, making the gang problem even worse.
Second, as much as the Trump Administration wants to rush through the deportation process to get results, we have to play it by the book. It won’t stop Leftists from lying or making gang-bangers look sympathetic figures, but it cuts the due process complaint they have off at the knees. And at the very least, it will make Leftists look like Cotton Hill, which will never fail to make me laugh.
Lastly, it’s long past time we overhaul our immigration and deportation policies. And that requires taking a hard look at our border policies. We can’t keep letting anyone with a sob story (and without paperwork) walk in unexamined while others jump through bureaucratic flaming hoops to gain legal entry. As draconian as Leftists think Trump’s border enforcement may be, it’s working. That gives us time to get our house in order.
If you really think about it (and I have because I’m as boring as an Amish rave), the deportation issues we’re seeing now are an outgrowth from the immigration issue. The more illegal immigrants come into the country, the more deportation orders have to be made once they’re caught. Of course, Leftists will continue to push for sanctuary cities and sanctuary states because, well, they don’t have to deal with the aftermath since they live more in the suburbs than where the illegal immigrants are.
So, let me float this idea, one that I’ve modified from Governors Ron Desantis and Greg Abbott. While they flew illegal immigrants to sanctuary cities and states, I want to send them to the residences of those who insist on being sanctuary cities and states. Preferably, to the houses of those politicians who made those things possible. Maybe that will drive home the point that illegal immigration isn’t something we should encourage.
Or, at the very least, we can point and laugh as we give Leftists exactly what they said they wanted.
Leftist Lexicon Word of the Week
Since Donald Trump was reelected, people have kept an eye on the economy since that was one of the areas he ran on. After all, President Brick Tamland’s economy was one of the world’s biggest dumpster fires (in spite of Leftists saying everything was fine like Kevin Bacon in “Animal House”). So, naturally, we were curious what Trump could to to put out the fire.
And apparently, he’s big on tariffs.
Tariffs are a touchy subject because there are so many people talking about them, but very few who understand them. So, just like social media on any day ending with “day.” Since there are so many armchair economists spouting off, I might as well give it a go.
tariffs
What the Left thinks it means – an indirect tax on goods and services that will hurt everyone
What it really means – an economic bargaining chip if things are done right
Since I’m only an armchair economist, the good folks at Investopedia have a pretty good explanation of what tariffs are and how they can impact us. For the purposes of this sketch, tariffs are additional taxes levied on imports designed to get the exporting countries to cut us a deal. This is what I mean when I say they’re an economic bargaining chip.
The problem comes when the country whose goods are getting slapped with tariffs doesn’t want to play ball. That can lead to economic and diplomatic strife if both sides continue to jack up tariffs like they’re a tub of popcorn and a small pop at a movie theater. Anything larger than a small pop requires a credit check.
The way the Left sees tariffs is correct, but only to a point. Yes, tariffs can cause prices to rise, but it’s not a guarantee. However, it does cause shitty memes.
If you’re not into clicking links, let me describe the meme. The title is “How Tariffs Work” and it pictures Donald Trump pissing into a fan and getting hit in the face with his own piss. Cute? Maybe. Funny? Possibly. Accurate? Wellllll…not so much.
The meme’s assumption (provided I don’t get smacked by Chris for stealing his “In the Meme Time” bit) is tariffs will always backfire, especially when it comes to Trump. But what happens if they don’t? The cartoon doesn’t even consider that possibility, which shows at best a surface understanding of basic economics.
Which means Leftists aren’t prepared to talk about the companies who have already decided not to test Trump on tariffs and made arrangements to avoid or lessen their impact. Their squawking points only go as far as “things are going to be more expensive.”
You know, like things under President Brick Tamland?
But there is one element the Left keeps overlooking when complaining about tariffs: Trump is pushing for reciprocal tariffs. Basically, it’s a tit-for-tat move. The higher the tariffs on us, the higher Trump will set the tariffs on them. And needless to say, we’ve been on the wrong end of the tariff game with a lot of countries. We will have to see what this will do because I’m not sure anyone knows what will happen.
Especially not the Left.
When it comes to economics, Leftists are as smart as Eric Swalwell among female Chinese spies. They know a few terms and can bullshit their way through a discussion (provided it’s shorter than a ferret’s attention span after a quadruple espresso laced with truck stop speed), but when it comes to actual knowledge, they are lacking. Want proof? One of the Left’s favorite economists is Paul Krugman, a man whose accuracy percentage looks like the ERA of a really good pitcher.
The reason for this is simple: Leftists don’t get economics. Remember, Leftists thrive on emotion, and you just can’t fee-fee your way to a good economy. There are hard and fast rules, concrete numbers, and historical data to contend with, which make it harder for Leftists to digest. That’s why they tend to make emotional appeals when they talk about economic issues. Once you accept them as valid, they take the high ground.
Which explains the Left’s approach to the tariff issue. They want people to believe only the worst of outcomes awaits us, just like they do with any Republican or conservative idea. DOGE is intrusive. Closing the Department of Education will make students dumber (to which I say how could you tell the difference). And tariffs are totally bad.
Which is why other countries have tariffs on our shit. Because tariffs are bad, m’kay?
I think the Left’s objection to Trump’s tariffs stems from a belief America deserves to have to pay more for foreign goods because we have it so good here. To them, America is wealthy, so we can afford to pay jacked up costs (except when it comes to shit like healthcare, student loans, the cost of living, etc.). Although we are still one of the prime movers of the global economy, we should be more frugal in what we buy and from where. As the song says, “You’d better shop around.”
Either that or, “Do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do.” I always get those two songs mixed up.
Anyway, I’m going to take a wait-and-see approach to Trump’s tariffs. It’s way too early to dismiss them as a failure or a success, but try telling either extreme that in their rush to be right. If Trump can make good on his promise, all the better. If not, he’s going to have to do some fast talking to get himself out of this mess, which will give Leftists plenty of fodder for the 2026 midterm elections. It’s a pretty big gamble, so let’s see if we hit the jackpot or don’t have a pot to piss in.
Oh, and Leftists? Can you learn how to meme, for the love of Pete?
Leftist Lexicon Word of the Week
As social media and other electronic forms of communication have evolved, there is still a fundamental truth that will always remain: someone is going to fuck it up. Whether it’s the idiots who hit “Reply All” on a mass email asking to be taken off the email or posting videos on Instagram that results in getting the poster fired, people can and will be boneheads.
Just like members of the Trump Administration, thanks to a little app called Signal and a reporter named Jeffery Goldberg. The short version of the story is government officials including Vice President JD Vance and Secretary of Defense Pete Hegseth discussing an impending military strike. And Goldberg was somehow invited to be in the chat.
And just as predictably, Leftists want to turn this matter into a major scandal because it’s not like they have anything to do between firebombing Tesla dealerships and posting lame videos about an impending silent riot. (Yes, it’s just as stupid as it sounds.) But is it a nothingburger or a major scandal requiring figurative heads rolling? Let’s find out!
Signalgate
What the Left thinks it means – a major scandal that exposes the Trump Administration’s incompetence
What it really means – a boneheaded move that may or may not have legs
One of the hardest things to get a handle on when researching this situation is figuring out the severity of it. It’s definitely a bad look, but so is the “Choose Your Fighter” video put out by Democrats. (And for those of you who click on the link, I cannot be personally held responsible for any brain cells lost.)
Where things get muddy is what security level the information in this chat was. I will be the first one to admit I don’t know shit about fuck when it comes to security levels. The best parallel I can make is the various internal security settings on company emails. The main difference? An email from Steve from Accounting about cover sheets on TPS reports probably won’t start a nuclear war.
I say probably because there’s always a chance. Fucking Steve from Accounting!
If you’re really interested in classified information designations, Wikipedia has a breakdown and the history behind it.
Anyway, we have two different camps. One side thinks Signalgate is a nothingburger with a side of nonion rings and a Coke Zero. The other side thinks it’s a major security breach that puts us in danger. Meanwhile, I’m somewhere in the middle based on the sheer dishonesty from both extremes.
Let’s face it, the MAGA Right has a vested interest in playing defense, mainly because they don’t want to give the Left any Ws. In an environment where politics is divided into teams, neither side wants to admit defeat, even when it would be the best thing to do in order to get past a scandal. And when your entire political existence is wrapped up in a single political figure, you’re going to do whatever it takes to keep your guy clean.
Meanwhile, the Left has a vested interest in attacking, mainly because they have nothing going for them. Their approval rating is further in the tank than Michael Dukakis circa 1988. Their attempts to get younger voters? Swear a lot more. And on top of that, there’s party infighting with younger party members openly questioning the old guard. (And I’m talking reaaaaalllllly old here.) They need a unifying issue to at least pretend like they’re on speaking terms.
Clowns to the Left of me, Jokers to the Right, here I am, stuck in the middle with you. I’m sorry.
As of this writing, the chat screenshots are still coming out in dribs and drabs, due in part to the journalist who shouldn’t have been there in the first place, Jeffery Goldberg. Whomever let a known Trump basher in on this chat needs to be fired. Preferably out of a cannon.
And if the fucknuts who said “Hey, let’s make Signal a thing in the federal government” is still employed by the Trump Administration, he or she should be fired. Out of a catapult. You know, just to switch things up.
Let me make this perfectly clear to the Trump Administration members reading this: whenever you use any social media app, it’s only a matter of time before shit gets leaked. Provided you’re not dumb enough to post that shit willingly, mind you. (I’m looking at you, Anthony “I Have a Small” Weiner.) If you have Signal on your phones, delete it, destroy your phone, and get a brand new one. And for God’s sake, don’t download it or any other social media apps ever again! Let’s the public find out about information leaks the old fashioned way: in the Weekly World News.
Where the Left has a point is Signalgate has some legs to it. Not only is it a black eye to the credibility of the Trump Administration, but it shows a level of judgment that doesn’t bode well for the next 3+ years. Trump needs to get his shit together and fast before his second term gets sidetracked by unnecessary bullshit.
Or you can sit back and watch the proverbial circular firing squad going on in Leftist circles, knowing they’re too inept to do anything.
Personally, I prefer option 1. Being President isn’t an entry level position. It takes at least some level of competency to be effective. Granted, we’re coming off a low point after President Brick Tamland, but that’s no excuse to coast. Fix this shit!
And for the Left, as long as you have Hillary Clinton on your side, you can take all the seats regarding the handling of sensitive information.
As for the rest of us, we’ll have to see how Signalgate shakes out. Hopefully, there isn’t any military or foreign relations fallout from it. If not, Lucy won’t be the only one with some ‘splainin’ to do.
And with that reference, I am officially old.