leftist lexicon – Something About Everything

Leftist Lexicon Word of the Week

There’s a little word starting with the letter D that has Leftists up in arms more than usual. No, it’s not “domestic terrorism” or “DeSantis” or even “D-Student President.” The word is “default” and Leftists are sounding the alarm that unless those evil mean ole Republicans approve a bunch of spending (which is totally related to running the country and isn’t related to a bunch of partisan bullshit designed to help Leftists buy… I mean earn votes). And those evil mean dagnasty Republicans want to…horror of horrors…spend less! Those monsters!

While talks between President Puddin’ Head Joe and House Speaker Kevin “Not Charlie” McCarthy have broken down more often than the car I bought from a sleazy used car salesman (i.e. a used car salesman), it seems more and more people on the Left are afraid we aren’t going to pay our bills and Grandma Gertrude will lose her Social Security, Medicare, and all means to survive. It’s going to be worse than January 6th!

Yeah, not so much. Let’s dive in

default

What the Left thinks it means – what will happen right now unless House Republicans agree to keeping proposed expenditures at higher rates

What it really means – a condition that hasn’t happened yet, but will become a reality in the near future

First off, a bit of insider baseball. Congressional budgeting isn’t the same thing as personal budgeting because the government can always print more money. If you or I did that, we’d be thrown in jail.

Come to think of it, that would be an ideal solution to the problems I have with Congress…

Anyway, because of this federal ability to print money, you’re more likely to find a happy Bud Light drinker than the government is to default on our debts. There are risks tied to this, namely the US Dollar becoming more worthless than Kanye West’s 2024 Presidential campaign coffers, but our elected officials aren’t stupid enough to let that happen, right?

Considering there is a sitting Representative who expressed fear that Guam would capsize if there were too many people, I’m not betting the farm on that.

But what I am betting the farm on is a lot of histrionics from people who don’t know the first thing about how economics works, even those who boast of having economics degrees but couldn’t make change.

Or toast, for that matter.

At the heart of this current kurfluffle is the Left’s insistence we raise the debt ceiling to ensure expenditures get paid. Put another way, Leftists are “just trying to pay America’s bills.”

One tiny problem (well, more than one, but we’ll get into that a bit later). The spending being done now is for the next fiscal year, which doesn’t start until…October 1, 2023. The shit we’re dealing with now is from the fiscal year that began October 1, 2022, when Democrats controlled the House and, thus, controlled spending.

Waitaminute…wouldn’t that give Leftists a vested interest in raising the debt ceiling (which is like getting a credit line increase on the federal Visa card)? Why…yes, yes it would!

It also gives them a manmade…womanmade…wymynmade…transmade…whatever made line 0f attack against House Republicans. After all, they’re standing in the way of paying America’s bills, right?

Not so much. The House passed a debt bill waaaaaaaay back on April 26th, a bill that Senate Majority Leader Chuck “Not Amy” Schumer called “dead on arrival” and President Puddin’ Head Joe said he would veto the House bill if it passed the Senate. Compare this to his comments from a few weeks ago (and a few days after he made the veto comment) trying to spin the situation to his advantage.

Hmmm…kinda makes you wonder who’s really forcing the default issue, doesn’t it?

But it’s not like the Left doesn’t have solutions. Members of the Congressional Progressive Caucus sent Puddin’ Head Joe a letter suggesting he invoke the 14th Amendment as a means to resolve the debt ceiling issue and avoid default. Although this may seem like a stretch that would make Reed Richards look like a block of stone, Section 4 gives at least somewhat of a framework.

The validity of the public debt of the United States, authorized by law, including debts incurred for payment of pensions and bounties for services in suppressing insurrection or rebellion, shall not be questioned. But neither the United States nor any state shall assume or pay any debt or obligation incurred in aid of insurrection or rebellion against the United States, or any claim for the loss or emancipation of any slave; but all such debts, obligations and claims shall be held illegal and void.

Now, I didn’t say the Left had good solutions.

The Left’s argument relies on the “validity of the public debt…shall not be questioned” part. Thanks to our good friends at Merrium Webster, we have two definitions of “validity” that maybe kinda sorta works.

the quality or state of being valid: such as

a: the state of being acceptable according to the law

b: the quality of being well-grounded, sound, or correct

Now, I’m giving the Left more credit than usual for deep thinking, but just because they put a little more thought into it than how they want their steaks cooked doesn’t mean they’re on the right track. Even with the most liberal (see what I did there) interpretation of the definitions, you’re still left with the “so what” question. How does this apply to the debt ceiling?

According to Al Jazeera (because I love to be an equal opportunity mocker of bad ideas), invoking the 14th would eliminate the debt limit and allow the nation’s bills to be paid. Now, this may solve the short term issues, but astute readers and students of history know how this is likely to end.

Spoiler Alert for you Leftists out there: it doesn’t end well for anyone, especially you.

Even though the Left is almost completely wrong here, they have inadvertently stumbled into a real issue: we aren’t taking federal spending seriously. I would say the government spends money like drunken sailors, but that would be insulting inebriated members of the Navy and I won’t stand for that. I don’t have any reason to believe we’d ever go into default, but only because of the power the federal government has to create money out of thin air. And we’re not talking about bills that have anything backing it, mind you. Right now the only thing backing the US Dollar is…our word.

Any Native American readers want to chime in on how much the government’s word is worth?

More to the point, our government’s spending makes the possibility of an actual default more and more likely unless we get a handle on it. As anyone who has had to take our a second mortgage to buy eggs this week can attest, inflation is a real issue affecting us all on some level. The more money we print, the less value it has. Before you know it, we’re post-WWI Germany without the pointy helmets.

And the thing is we keep running into this game of economic chicken every fucking year. The party in power of Congress and the party out of power always jockey for position in the weeks and months before the government can’t pay its bills and chaos ensues (according to the Left). Then, we might have to…shut down the government until a deal can be reached! Then, people might realized just how big, cumbersome, and mostly useless government actually is, and that’s going to hurt Leftists!

Wait. I’m not sure there’s a downside here. Oh, wait, I see one: this brinkmanship is tired, as well as tiring. But we will keep seeing it as long as both major parties prefer it to fiscal responsibility. Democrats and Republicans don’t want to think about what happens when the interest payment on the national debt exceeds our ability to pay since they’re too busy trying to figure out how to blame it on each other.

I’ve said this before, but it bears repeating (for no other reason than to pad out this piece a bit more). America has a spending problem. We are a shopaholic with the world’s most elite credit card, and we keep upping the credit limit because our elected officials are more than willing to sign off on it. And as long as the dipshits in Washington DC fail to grasp even basic accounting practices (i.e. being too far in the red is a bad thing), we’re going to keep playing chicken with the can being kicked down the road so a new group of dipshits can play.

Well, there’s a line from the movie “War Games” that applies here: “The only winning move is not to play.” Granted, we’re not dealing with Global Thermonuclear War or even chess, but we are hurtling towards a different point of no return, one where default is all but guaranteed. Cutting proposed spending while still increasing spending doesn’t help. Our national debt is in the trillions of dollars, and nobody on either side really wants to do the one thing that will help.

STOP FUCKING SPENDING!

While Republicans don’t seem to have any answers, at least they’re not really dumb ideas, which is what the Left has to offer right now. So, expect more chicken in DC and less in your refrigerator.

Speaking of which, could you help me out? I need to buy some chicken and I’m short by, oh, a few thousand dollars. Thanks in advance!

Leftist Lexicon Word of the Week

Clear your calendars, kids! The hottest new piece of literature just dropped and it’s going to be a scorcher! I’m not referring to any of the 498 books Stephen King will release this week. Instead, I’m referring to the long-awaited Durham Report.

After the initial shock of discovering Leftists had their fingerprints all over the Russian collusion allegations against former President Donald Trump, the Left has done into damage control. Some said it failed to deliver any real results, while others went so far as to say it was a flop that opened the door for future misuse. Some have gone so far as to give analysis that make the whole investigation look like one big boondoggle.

Which means the truth is far more damaging than the Left wants to admit. Oh, and that it’s this week’s Lexicon entry.

the Durham Report

What the Left thinks it means – an expensive bomb of an investigation that lead to nothing and should be called out for repeating Trump’s lies

What it really means – the report the Left wishes the Mueller Report could have been

For those who are interested in the report, here it is.

For the Reader’s Digest Condensed Version, here it is.

– Leftists within the alphabet agencies attempted to paint Donald Trump as a Russian asset in 2016 at the direction of Hillary Clinton.

– There was no evidence of Russian collusion.

– The aforementioned alphabet agencies knew it, but proceeded with an investigation anyway because Hillary.

– Leftists had actual ties with Russia during the time they were attempting to make Donald Trump look like a Russian asset.

– Leftists never thought they would get caught.

So, here we are. After 4 years and $6.5 million spent, the Left is finally worried about a partisan investigation. I mean, the Mueller investigation (which was shadier than the hygiene practices at Uncle Filthy’s Botulism Emporium and Discount Slaughterhouse) only cost $32 million! How dare Republicans spend $6.5 million!

By the way, these same dickweeds complaining about the waste of money with the Durham Report are okay with sending Ukraine $24.9 billion for a war where we’re not even one of the direct participants. Granted, that figure was from January of this year, so the current number is going to be higher than Willie Nelson hanging out with Snoop Dogg in Amsterdam on 4/20.

So, let’s cut out the bullshit about the cost and look at results. The primary result is the Durham Report exposed a real conspiracy of dunces with the sole purpose of making Donald Trump look bad. First off, he does a good job of that on his own, so the Left didn’t really need to help. Second, Hillary Clinton has a sordid (and utterly mock-worthy) history with Russia.

Now, Leftists are going to say I’m using a logical fallacy called “poisoning the well” as a means to prop up Durham after a failure of a report. That would be true…if there wasn’t so much evidence out there. And it’s information the Left doesn’t want to get out because it unravels a lot of their squawking points over the past few years.

The most obvious bullshit talking point destroyed is the alleged Russian collusion with Trump. The Left needs this point to be true because it’s the only way they can explain why Trump beat Clinton in 2016. That is, if you overlook how unpopular Hillary is. She lost to an unknown Illinois Senator in 2008, for fuck’s sake! And he was only slightly more competent than she was! Not exactly a ringing endorsement of Hillary’s popularity as a political figure.

Then, 2016 happened.

From before Donald Trump took the Oath of Office to today, the Left not only conspired to slime him in the court of public opinion, but got government agencies involved to make it happen. And even then Hillary lost. Simply put, Hillary Clinton is a political fuck-up aided by other political fuck-ups pretending to be law enforcement. Law enfarcement maybe, but not law enforcement.

Which brings us to another reason the Left has to discredit the Durham Report: it exposes just how broken the FBI has been for years. The Durham Report made a point of not only showing how fucked up the FBI’s involvement in the Russia collusion story, but also offered suggestions on how to fix the problem. Personally, I think we should nuke the site from orbit since it’s the only way to be sure, but that’s probably my inner 80s teen talking.

Once the FBI’s corruption got exposed (again), the Left loses one of the weapons in its arsenal to deal with what they consider unsavory elements. You know, like pro-lifers. In order to retain some semblance of control, the Left needs the FBI, which makes the agency look a lot less credible and will fuel even more calls to investigate just how deep the corruption goes.

I don’t see a down-side here.

Especially when the Left mocked the “Back the Blue” movement while elevating the FBI to near-godlike status. That’s how you know their love of law enforcement is utter bullshit, but it’s also a pretty big tell as to why the Left has a vested interest in protecting the FBI by denigrating the Durham Report.

You know. Poisoning the well?

The Left are also making a big deal of how few convictions came from the Durham Report as compared to the Mueller Report. Although the lack of frog-marching feds is cause for concern, it’s not really that big a deal unless you’re in the business of quantity of justice rather than quality of justice. Some of Mueller’s successes came as a result of shoddy charges and dishonest reporting. Can you say Michael Flynn, boys and girls? I knew you could.

And what’s more? The Mueller Report found no sufficient evidence of collusion with Russia, which was counter to what the Left wanted him to find. The Durham Report confirms this, which is counter to what the Left wanted him to find. Maybe it’s me, but I’m sensing a pattern…

Like the pattern of behavior the Left has when bad news hits their side. First, there’s panic as they try to figure out how to spin the bad news. Second, there’s the spin, where the bad news is turned into good news (often with a good amount of gaslighting). Third, there’s “debate” as people fact-check the Left’s spin and the Left pretends the fact-checks are inaccurate. Fourth, there’s Leftist “fact-checking” which is little more than gaslighting that would make the Hindenburg look like a sparkler. Finally, there’s the call to move on from talking about the bad news because “it’s old news.”

As of this writing, the Left has gone through at least 3 of the steps with the “fact-checking” step about to kick into high gear. Give it a week or so and the “old news” calls will be coming hard and fast.

Unfortunately, we have a lingering question that I don’t think we’re going to get a satisfactory answer to: who’s going to federal fuck-me-in-the-ass prison over this? The way the justice system works now, we’ll be lucky to get the FBI Director’s secretary’s brother’s former college roommate’s cousin’s dog walker’s accountant’s former high school basketball team’s water boy indicted, and if so, it will be for something completely unrelated, like a waaaaaaay overdue library book. The fact Lois Lerner is still on the outside instead of getting 3 hots and a cot in Leavenworth is proof of that. Reports outlining criminal behavior are all well and good, but without action, they’re just words on a page. And if you expect Leftists to join in the accountability mob, I have swamp land in the Arctic Circle I’d love to sell you. In this situation, elections have lack of consequences.

And it’s not like the Republicans have the best track record in following through, either. A big reason why is because a lot of them don’t want to rock the boat too much because then they become targets for the kind of bogus investigations we’ve seen out of the Left so far. And when their dirty laundry gets put out for the world to see, it puts a King Kong sized monkey wrench in their reelection plans. Then again, many of them are in “safe” districts and states, so even if they get caught getting baggies of heroin shoved up their asses by an Asian trans dominatrix named Madame Hung Lo their approval ratings might take a dip of 0.00000000000001% because “the other side is worse.”

As much as I can’t argue that, it doesn’t help the situation. Without a desire to stand up for what is right, our little Constitutional Republic is doing to go the way of Rome. And by that I mean an expensive tourist trap with a kitschy casino counterpart on the Las Vegas strip.

So, like Las Vegas.

Anyway, we need leaders more than ever, men and women willing to buck party lines to do what is right and just. It might take a few election cycles and some “come to Jesus” moments, but if anyone can do it, America can. The Durham Report is the first step on that journey, and we best take it while we can.

Also, it will piss off the Left, so…yay!

Leftist Lexicon Word of the Week

Leftists tend to freak out about things they don’t like because, well, they’re Leftists. This week’s freakout is courtesy of their favorites and ours, former President Donald Trump. See, Trump is running for President in 2024 and CNN…gave him airtime for a town hall meeting.

I know! I was shocked that a cable news network would spend time talking to a famous political figure in an attempt to get ratings!

Although Leftist freakouts are as common as bad pop music songs right now, Leftists are just as predictable with their responses: hashtag activism. For a short time, Leftists on Twitter got #BoycottCNN trending which is…something, I guess? What is a bit more certain is I’m going to mock the hell out of it!

#BoycottCNN

What the Left thinks it means – a response to CNN allowing Donald Trump airtime to spread his hateful message

What it really means – a lame response to CNN allowing Donald Trump airtime to promote his Presidential campaign

First, a bit of background. A long time ago, CNN was the place to go on cable to get news, mainly because it was the only place to go on cable to get news. For the most part, they played it straight down the line, but over time CNN became the source for many a Leftist squawking point, thanks to the Commander in Briefs, Bill Clinton. Seems more than a few of the staff were more in the tank for him than Michael Dukakis. (And if you got that reference, I’m eternally grateful.)

From there, CNN’s descent into Leftist madness (but I repeat myself) got more pronounced. And once other cable news networks like Fox News and MSNBC got involved, it was only a matter of time before the only name in the cable news game became an afterthought, as the ratings showed. It got so bad at one point that reruns of Yogi Bear beat CNN in the ratings.

A change was needed, so CNN tried to go hard against Trump in an attempt to suck off some of MSNBC’s viewership. One tiny problem: Leftists really don’t like CNN because they’re not Leftist enough. After all, they…allowed conservatives an opportunity to speak! Oh, the horror! And with MSNBC being batshit crazy enough for Leftists, CNN didn’t stand a chance.

Enter Chris Licht, who became the new boss at CNN in 2022. He decided to take a different approach, one that was unheard of a few years prior: reporting actual news. This got him branded as someone who wanted to make CNN more centrist (i.e. to the right of Stalin), which Leftists simply can’t abide because…reasons! Leftists even went so far as to call CNN “Fox News Lite” because of the move.

Let’s just say the ratings haven’t been going in the right direction yet. The reason is simple: CNN pissed off too many people. The Right won’t tune in because of the decades of carrying water for the Left, and the Left won’t tune in because they have MSNBC to parrot their squawking points without even the slightest deviation. No matter what Licht does, it’s never going to be enough.

But that’s not the issue at hand.

The Leftist response to CNN doing what it’s done for other Presidential candidates (albeit with less than stellar results) is par for the course at worst. But the Twitter temper tantrum behind #BoycottCNN is a new level of Leftist impotence and idiocy. First off, didn’t Leftists on social media try to #BoycottTwitter? Yes, yes, they did. And it worked as well as you might expect: not at all. So, they go on Twitter to pass around the hashtag!

That’s what the kids like to call a self own.

Then, there’s the “me too” aspect of this hashtag. (Not to be confused with #MeToo, which is a completely different Leftist shitshow.) As many Twitter Leftists were so quick to point out, they were already boycotting CNN, as though it were a badge of honor. At this point, boycotting CNN is like boycotting “The Golden Girls” (although I am still involved in a letter-writing campaign about Estelle Getty): it’s pretty much a moot point. They’re already swirling the drain, so losing tens of tens of viewers isn’t going to change that. Piling on, even virtually, is pointless.

But then again, pointless actions are what the Left specialize in. See also: #MeToo.

The part that really tickles me is how the Left reacted to the shift in CNN’s approach to news. When you really think about it (and I do because I need something to do while I browse Twitter), the Left is upset a news organization is moving away from propaganda and more towards actual reporting of facts…but the Left says their favorite cable news shows are already doing actual reporting…so…

Yeah. I got nothing.

I take that back. I actually got something here, and it’s all about controlling the narrative. The Left cannot abide not being in control of the flow of information, and with both Twitter and CNN moving more towards the right as a means to even the playing field, the Left fear they’re losing control of the ability to shape what people think. Which they are, mainly because they don’t understand people in general. And business. And success. And long term thinking. And…well, you get the idea.

But as with so many hashtags, the #BoycottCNN shelf-life will be thankfully short, and the damage will be minimal. Yet, the Left overplayed its hand with the boycott because it gives us an insight into how the operate and why they reacted the way they did. That gives us ammunition to use in the future while also putting their objections into context.

In the end, though, CNN is going to become a casualty in the cable news wars by its own hand. They believed in their own invincibility and didn’t plan for a future where a test pattern could draw better numbers than their prime time shows. CNN burned up a lot of its early credibility worse than Mrs. O’Leary’s cow, but if they’re truly serious about getting back to hard news without as much spin, I wish them all the best. It’s the harder and longer road, but it will bring the best outcome possible.

Plus, it’ll piss off Leftists, which is always entertaining.

Leftist Lexicon Word of the Week

When I sat down to write this week’s Lexicon, I was originally going to write about the debt ceiling because, let’s face it, it’s sexy as hell. However, another news story has taken over the cycle within the past few days that really shows a level of insanity I haven’t seen since, well, last week.

Jordan Neely was your typical homeless guy in New York City. Threatening subway patrons. History of mental illness. Fleeing an outstanding warrant for assault. You know, the usual. Then, after allegedly threatening to hurt or kill other subway patrons, Neely met his end at the hands of a Marine who may have seen Neely attack someone earlier in the week.

And like a racially-charged phoenix, Neely came back as a martyr. Leftists came out of the woodwork to proclaim Neely as a victim of racism, a failure of the mental health system, and proof of how racist America was. Some even compared him to Jesus. Calls for the Marine to be arrested for murder became commonplace. Even members of the Squid…I mean the Squad weighed in, stating Neely was “lynched.”

And it only gets stupider from here, kids. Hang on.

Jordan Neely

What the Left thinks it means – a black homeless man who was murdered for doing nothing at all

What it really means – the victim of Leftist enabling

As of this writing, we are still discovering details that fill in some of the blanks. Here’s what we know so far.

– Neely had been arrested 44 times before his death

– He lost his mother, which lead to depression

– Friends said he was spiraling out of control within the past 2 years

– He was alleged to have said he was going to kill everyone on the train and that he didn’t care if he went to jail.

– The Marine in question may have encountered Neely earlier that week and acted to protect people.

– The coroner ruled the death to be a homicide due to the choke hold the Marine put on him

Outside of these details, we’re dealing with a lot of uncertainty. And when there are blanks to be filled, people will fill them with whatever bullshit makes them feel good. And for the Left, making Neely into the next Trayvon Martin, George Floyd, etc., is top priority.

This raises the question of why. The obvious one is to continue the narrative the Left built over the past few years. I mean, when you put so much time and energy on perpetuating the image that blacks are being attacked and/or killed by evil racist MAGA-loving white people, you kinda want to keep the money flowing in…I mean “raising awareness to change the status quo.” What’s the worst that could happen?

Jussie Smollett could not be reached for comment.

But this stems from a foundational Leftist concept: victimhood. When they’re not busy creating victims (real and imagined), the Left knows how to make bank off victimhood. And just like Oprah handing out new cars, everybody gets to be a victim! Just look at what you think is wrong with your life and, bingo, you’re a victim!

And, surprise surprise, once you’re a victim, you get to be special! Just like everyone else who is a victim!

This isn’t to say Neely wasn’t a victim, though. Clearly, he didn’t have issues so much as he had subscriptions. Homelessness (which Leftists are calling “houselessness” in a complete ripoff of George Carlin), mental health, food insecurity, just to name a few. The Left’s solution? Talk a big game about the need for reform, and throw money at the problem. You know, the usual.

As unsuccessful as this approach has been pretty much every time it’s been tried, it will surely work now!

But there’s another element at play here. The Left hates to be proven wrong or incompetent, mainly because, well, they’re experts at being both wrong and incompetent. When the facts don’t work, the Left tries to muddy the waters to avoid making them look bad.

Hence, the focus on the unnamed Marine’s actions rather than Neely’s background. Leftists even say his criminal past doesn’t justify a “death sentence” especially when all the Left said he was doing was asking for food.

Maybe it’s me, but saying “I’m going to kill people” is a little bit different from asking for a sammich. But what do I know? I only speak and comprehend the English language…

By focusing on the Marine, it takes the focus off Neely, but more importantly it takes the focus off the multiple levels of fucked-uppery the Leftists caused by being wrong and incompetent. Instead of attempting to dissuade panhandling, New York City has published guidelines about the practice, including what constitutes aggressive panhandling. (Gonna go out on a limb here and say someone threatening to kill people would constitute the aggressive variety.) And, the best part? These guidelines promise the NYPD will respond “when they are not handling emergency situations.”

Like, you know…the city becoming a hellhole with skinny jeans and manbuns.

The saddest part of this situation (aside from the numerous tepid takes from Leftists wanting to throw the Marine in jail for murder because shut up) is how many touch points prior to the choking that Leftists had if they truly cared about Neely as anything but the next cause to support. Jail time, institutionalization, therapy, rehab, job training, and many other options could have turned him from a statistic to a functioning human being.

But the Left doesn’t want that. They need a constant stream of victims to perpetuate their self-imposed image of compassionate saviors who really care about the situation, dammit! While they’re giving their Oscar acceptance speeches and patting themselves on the back for being so caring, people like Neely continue to fall through the cracks, failed by the very people who claim to want to help them.

And when they’re not letting these poor souls continue to wallow in Leftist-imposed squalor, they’re being enabled, even emboldened, by Leftist lawmakers who justify what they do to others because of their misfortune. If we don’t subscribe to that way of thinking, we’re just not as compassionate as the Left is. And they’re right.

We’re more compassionate because we want actual solutions.

Leftists will scream we don’t because Republicans are evil meanie-heads who cut funding for alternatives (that the Left themselves don’t really fund when they have a chance). Let them scream because it’s better than what they’re actually doing, which is nothing. Plus, it’s impotent rage. The Left knows they have fewer legs to stand on than a clumsy lumberjack with a chainsaw, so they have to play the compassion card and try to make us feel bad, in an attempt to make themselves feel/look good in comparison.

Spoiler Alert: it doesn’t work like that.

Furthermore, situations like what happened to Jordan Neely are going to continue as long as the Left continues to enable the criminals at the expense of the law-abiding. At some point, the law-abiding are going to push back, and it won’t be pretty on multiple levels. Look at San Francisco right now. That is going to be the Big Apple’s future sooner rather than later, and knowing how New Yorkers take less shit than a defunct septic company, it’s going to get bloody.

Regardless of what further details are going to come out about Jordan Neely, rest assured the Left will be up in arms for quite a while because someone didn’t just let him act like a potential threat. Neely’s death will be attributed to a lot of things, but it can be summarized in one sentence that you can read in Morgan Freeman’s voice.

He fucked around, and he found out.

Leftist Lexicon Word of the Week

For all the shit I give Twitter on here, I do have to admit it does have some good points. Like, the fact the level of entertainment I get laughing at the sheer batshittery without having to pay a dime for it. But it’s also good for seeing the lifespan of Leftist outrage over a relatively minor thing.

Like a blue checkmark.

Since Elon Musk took over Twitter, he’s pissed off Leftists by…treating people equally. And the Left just can’t handle that because prior to Musk, Twitter was their playground. So, instead of adopting to the new environment, they went to Twitter to bitch about it. And now, they’re taking additional steps: they’re blocking anyone with a blue checkmark, a Twitter hashtag called #blocktheblue.

And, yes, it’s just as dumb as you thing.

#blocktheblue

What the Left thinks it means – a way to separate the paid Twitter shills from the real users

What it means – an insight into Leftist self-importance and hypocrisy

One aspect of Leftist identity is the belief they are the elite, the creme de la creme of society. As a result, they do everything they can to hobnob with other Leftists (except for anyone who isn’t white, rich, and unapologetically narcissistic because you just can’t let everyone into these circles). This included Twitter.

That’s where the blue checkmarks come into play. In the pre-Musk Twitter days, a blue checkmark became a symbol of superiority, mainly because of Leftists making it one. Of course, Twitter denied this colorful combination of pixels meant anything of the sort (because they were in on it the whole time), but just seeing what the internal drones were doing (thanks #TwitterFiles), we know it was bullshit.

Then, some high-profile Twitter users (think valedictorian of clown college) decided to push back against Musk by pushing followers to block anybody with a Twitter Blue account. This movement kicked into high gear recently after Musk removed legacy blue checkmarks to those who didn’t pay the oppressive $8 to get a blue checkmark.

It’s at this point I should point out you don’t need to pay $8 to use Twitter, just to get the verified blue checkmark.

See? I told you it was as stupid as you think. But wait, it gets better!

Since anyone can pay $8 for a verified blue checkmark, Leftists are doing the completely rational thing and assuming everyone with a blue checkmark is a bot or a fraud of some sort. And, as we know, Leftists hate competition. It got to the point people with blue checkmarks felt the need to tell their fans that they didn’t pay $8 for the checkmark, as though they would get kicked out of Leftist social circles if they didn’t.

Now, I’m sure the Leftist elites who are bitching the loudest over this could afford the $8, so it’s not a monetary issue. And it’s not an integrity issue, either, because none of these assholes would know integrity if it came up with them with a name tag, introduced itself, kept referring to its name throughout the conversation, left them a business card, and called them once a week to catch up.

What it comes down to is a loss of exclusivity for Leftists. And they’re handling it badly, or in other words like they handle just about everything. Because they no longer feel special, they throw an online temper tantrum…on the platform they despise.

To any Leftists who are reading this and see themselves in my description, that’s called getting owned.

Sure, the Left has social media alternatives, but they’re not taking them because there’s a reason they’re alternatives: because Twitter is basically the lead dog. That creates the Kobayashi Maru of social media. Either they stay on Twitter where they can be visible and hypocritical, or they can go to another social media site where they are principled, but yelling into the void where only 3 people might engage if only to nod in partisan agreement.

Of course, Musk might just pay the $8 for some of these Leftists, like he did for Stephen King, just so they can enjoy Twitter Blue. Or to troll them as only he can. You know, whichever. Which will cause them to lose their collectivist minds and have to issue more and more apologies to their Leftist allies and explain they didn’t actually pay for Twitter Blue, which will make some of their allies doubt their Leftist bonafides and…well, let’s just say you can spend your $8 on a lot of popcorn because this cycle of dumbfuckery is perpetual. And entertaining!

Granted, this isn’t a major issues on the scale of the Russia/Ukraine War, the border issue, or why anyone decided to green-light a second season of “Velma,” but sometimes these seemingly insignificant issues give the clearest view of the Leftist mindset. And #BlocktheBlue is the kind of issue that puts the Left’s mindset on full blast.

Of course, the Left is overlooking the most obvious solution to the current environment they see on Twitter: log off. It’s fucking Twitter! You have a life away from social media, so go do something! It’s not like you’re being productive members of society by being melded to your phones posting hashtags standing up against racism, sexism, or the ism-of-the-day. Trust me, you’re not missing anything by not being on Twitter 25/8. And if your entire existence is tied to social media, it’s as vapid and empty as, well, most Twitter posts.

To paraphrase a famous saying from the 60s, log off, put down, and go out.

Leftist Lexicon Word of the Week

Amid all the stories of transgender controversies, gun control debates that will lead to nothing, and general social media dumbfuckery, it’s been hard to find fresh or even fresh-adjacent topics to discuss. Believe me, I can talk about the aforementioned topics all day, but I don’t want to bore you. That’s what my joke writer is for.

But hope springs eternal if you just look around long enough, and buddy did I ever strike pay dirt! During a recent House hearing, the current Director of the Bureau of Alcohol Tobacco and Firearms Steven Dettelbach had a bit of trouble answering a firearms question: what is an assault weapon. Of course, he had trouble because he’s not a biologist…

But this got me thinking about the ATF as a government entity. Do we need it? What does it do? Can it be renamed the Bureau of a Good Time on a Holiday Weekend? These and other questions are going to be answered…somewhere else, but I’ll give it a shot.

Bureau of Alcohol Tobacco and Firearms

What the Left thinks it means – a government agency designed to regulate the items in the agency’s name

What it really means – a really bad idea made worse through incompetence

The ATF’s website describes its mission as:

ATF’s responsibilities include the investigation and prevention of federal offenses involving the unlawful use, manufacture, and possession of firearms and explosives; acts of arson and bombings; and illegal trafficking of alcohol and tobacco products. The ATF also regulates, via licensing, the sale, possession, and transportation of firearms, ammunition, and explosives in interstate commerce.

Judging from the number of people who shoot off fireworks in my neighborhood around the 4th of July, it’s clear the ATF is doing a bang-up job, if you’ll pardon the pun. And if you don’t, fuck you!

Anyway, the Reader’s Digest Condensed Version of the ATF’s job is three-fold: investigate offenses, prevent potential offenses, and regulate a bunch of shit involving, well, alcohol, tobacco, and firearms. As of the most recent data I could find (Fiscal Year 2020 for the people playing along at home), the ATF had over 5000 employees across multiple areas, with an annual budget of $1.4 billion. That’s a shit-ton of money spent per employee! So, how effective are they?

That depends on who you ask. Many on the Left see room for improvement, especially in the area of gun violence prevention. Others aren’t so optimistic, citing ineffectiveness and a lack of respect as reasons they aren’t highly regarded and respected in their roles.

Maybe it’s me, but I think the real reason they’re not heralded for their work is how the agency fucked up in Waco, Texas, with the Branch Davidians. For those of you who don’t remember (and, for that, I envy you), the Branch Davidians were a Christian cult whose leader, David Koresh, was accused of some serious shit ranging from stockpiling illegal weapons to child abuse to statutory rape. And 51 days later, all chaos broke loose. Although the details are still sketchier than a mixed drink handed to a hot girl in a sleazy nightclub owned by Hunter Biden, the general consensus was the ATF and the FBI shared blame for things going pear-shaped.

Granted, we shouldn’t base our opinions of a government agency on one fuck-up, even if it’s the mother of all fuck-ups. That’s why I have more examples! And, as you might expect, anti-gun groups keep hammering the ATF to do its job.

Which, according to these groups, is to do what they say.

Which means a) the ATF shouldn’t listen to groups who need people to die to remain politically relevant, b) the ATF must really be fucked up, and c) the ATF needs to be abolished, like, yesterday.

Let’s be frank (especially if your name is Frank), the ATF can’t regulate its way out of a plain brown bag holding a bottle of cheap hooch, let alone the breadth of issues the agency is supposed to address. And for $1.4 billion, we should expect a level of competency even an amoeba could meet.

And let the ATF limbos under it without even having to bend over.

Of course, the Left doesn’t see this as a problem so long as the ATF continues to push for more gun regulations. And with the Biden Administration pushing for more as part of a “gun safety” push, it’s a safe guess the Left doesn’t want the ATF going anywhere for a while.

In the meantime, though, it’s hard to justify why we even have an ATF if they don’t know what they’re doing. I’m sure there are some good folks there (law of averages and such), but that doesn’t make them immune to the legitimate criticism of how the ATF sucks at its job.

What’s more, they are part of two rampant problems the Left doesn’t want to address: redundancy, and redundancy. Not to mention redundancy. So much of what the ATF does is also being done by other federal agencies or can be folded into existing roles without a loss of effectiveness. After all, when you’re effectiveness is a wash, you can’t really lose effectiveness by transferring duties to another team.

Granted, I am biased here because I’m definitely on the “smaller government is better government” bandwagon, so obviously I want to get rid of as much government as possible without damaging the country. Having said that, I think the Bureau of Alcohol Tobacco and Firearms has overstayed its welcome and should be heading to the Great Bureaucratic Shitstorm in the Sky. For the money we spend, we should be getting results other than “well, we fucked up again.”

In their defense, though, “Well, we fucked up again” is the unofficial slogan of the Puddin’ Head Joe Administration.

Leftist Lexicon Word of the Week

And now the moment you’ve all been waiting for! No, not my announcement I’m giving up blogging. This is an even better announcement!

This week’s Lexicon has next to nothing to do with trans people! And in fact the only reference will be in the lead-up to this week’s topic!

In the aftermath of a Nashville school shooting that left 6 people dead and a trans person accused of pulling the trigger (see, I told you!), the Left went into full “push for gun control even though criminals don’t obey laws” mode. As pro-gun control groups swarmed the Capitol, three Democrat politicians joined in the festivities, using a bullhorn and approaching the front of the Tennessee House chamber to chant. Which got 2 of them expelled.

And also made these three politicians, Justin Jones, Justin Pearson, and Gloria Johnson, into a Leftist superhero team they’ve deemed the Tennessee Three. Which makes them perfect for mocking!

the Tennessee Three

What the Left thinks it means – three strong and brave people who are standing up to the NRA

What it really means – three politicians milking dumb policies for short term success and long term irrelevance

The Left love to circulate a meme that mocks the Right’s responses to mass shootings in America with the idea being the cycle is never-ending because no one does anything meaningful to stop it. If only we had stronger gun laws, like red flag laws and assault weapon bans, we could break the cycle and protect our communities!

Because tough gun control laws totally work so well in Chicago, Washington, and other Leftist udopeias…I mean utopias.

The gun control movement’s approach never changes, which makes it frightfully easy to lather, rinse, and repeat with every mass shooting (which is another weird term that has no clear definition, like pornography or Shia Labouf’s acting chops). Although gun control gets a little more traction because of this, most of the time their efforts fall flat. The Left attributes this to the power of the eeeeevilllll gun lobby, but I have a different hypothesis as to why gun control keeps failing to catch fire, if you’ll pardon the pun.

Gun control works less often than Kamala Harris.

Of course, Leftists point to states with the strictest gun laws having lower rates for gun-related deaths. (Their sources? Pro gun control groups like Everytown for Gun Safety and the Giffords Law Center.) And if you look at the states as a whole, you’d tend to agree.

Then, you wouldn’t know the dirty little secret behind the state approach: it hides how deadly many Democrat-run cities are. By broadening the focus to the state level, it obscures what really drives those numbers, which makes it easier for the Left to lie about them and blame Republicans for their allies’ ineptitude.

Now, what does this have to do with gun control? For one, it shows how dishonest the Left has to be when it comes to gun violence to try to make a point. The Left runs on the need to curtail gun violence, but they can’t even fix the shit they break. So, instead of, you know, fixing things, they blame Republicans for their lack of action to solve the problems they create.

And these assholes mock Republicans for times when the Right doesn’t accept personal responsibility?

Which brings us back to the stars of this melodrama, the Tennessee Three. While the Left elevates these three, it’s important to note they broke Tennessee House rules. That, and the fact those mean ol Republicans believe actions have consequences, lead to the current false narrative these three were victims.

No word yet from the 6 actual victims of the shooting on how they feel about the Tennessee Three.

The Left consider the Tennessee GOP’s “fuck around and find out” response to the Tennessee Three to be politically and racially motivated, considering two of the three happen to be black. As far as the political part, I have two words: fucking duh! Of course it’s political! Gun control and protests are political in nature, so any reactions that come from them are also going to be political.

Of course, the Left frames it as bad because three of their foot soldiers got caught. Much like the reason they tried to avoid bringing up the gender identity of the shooter (sorry, I lied earlier), the Left has to hide those little details that add context to advance the ideas they want. The gun control argument is all about deceit. Oh, and utter dumbfuckery. But if we didn’t have deceit and dumbfuckery here, I wouldn’t have a weekly column topic, so there’s that.

Meanwhile we still have a gun control problem, not a gun problem. Given the sheer number of guns Americans have, if guns were really the problem the Left say they were, they would be a bigger factor in the number of deaths per year. As it turns out, they’re not. In 2020, there were 45,222 people killed in gun-related incidents, with most of them being suicides. In that same year, this number didn’t even crack the top 10 of leading causes of death Granted this was a COVID year, so they might have squeaked in at number 10 otherwise, but the point is still the same. Guns aren’t the problem.

Even if you think strengthening gun laws is the answer, consider the fact there are already tens of thousands of gun laws already on the books at every level. Throw in the “Gun Free Zones” and you might as well open up a shooting gallery…oh wait, that’s Chicago on an average weekend!

And here’s a fun item to consider. When you look at the recent mass shootings, the majority of them were committed by…people who beat the current system. You know, the one you assclowns set up in the first place. What’s your next move? Create more hoops that mass shooters will zip through like they’re in Cirque du Soleil?

Which brings us to another problem with the gun control movement: the sheer number of laws makes it impossible to enforce them. More laws means more laws that won’t get enforced and zero gets accomplished. Well, except for more people dying, that is.

Maybe it’s me (and I wouldn’t be surprised if it is), but it seems the Tennessee Three are part of the problem. They make loud statements, get on TV thanks to Leftists, get glowing (albeit demonstratively bullshit) newspaper articles written about them, and rake in the adoration. In other words, the political circle jerk that always happens after a mass shooting (that don’t occur within Democrat-run cities, that is).

And with the accusations of racism, since the two black members were expelled while the white woman wasn’t (by 1 vote, by the way), the Tennessee Three have hit a Leftist goldmine. All by being assholes on the job. If that’s all it took, I would be a CEO!

And all on the bodies of 6 people sacrificed at the altar of gun control failure.

Of course, no one on the Left is going to say it because they have a vested interest in keeping gun violence front and center (as long as it can be blamed on Republicans). They have to keep the wheels greased, right? And then they can come out and show how much they CARE, dammit!

But if they really cared, the Tennessee Three would reject gun control as being a failure. Then again, that would require a level of self-awareness not even the smartest Leftist could muster.

By the way, Cindy Sheehan is on line one. Something about how the Left uses their own until they stop being the flavor of the month.

Leftist Lexicon Word of the Week

It’s been quite a week, dear readers. Between a NCAA Women’s Basketball title game that was officiated by people who beamed down from Saturn just before tip-off (not that I have an opinion on that mind you) and former President Donald Trump being indicted on 34 separate charges, it was hard to find a new or interesting take on topics that have already been through the spin cycle several times over.

Then, I saw a phrase that kept getting used by Leftists related to the Trump indictments: no one is above the law. This has always struck me as an interesting phrase, especially when used against Republicans who are experiencing legal troubles of their own. And our dear friends on the Left surely believe in fairness to all under the law. Just ask them!

So, that’s why I’m throwing the brown bullshit flag so we can review whether they mean what they say.

no one is above the law

What the Left thinks it means – everyone is accountable to the law

What it really means – some people are accountable to the law while others aren’t

Remember when former Vice Presidential candidate John Edwards said there were two Americas? Although he played second fiddle to someone who made Al Gore look like Alvin Ailey, he was right, but his focus was too limited. There are two Americas on several levels, especially in terms of criminal justice. Leftists were quick to pounce (which I thought only Republicans did) on the Trump indictments as proof that white collar crime is treated differently than other types of crime.

Which it is and has been repeatedly for decades. I’m definitely not disputing that. What I am disputing is how the concept of no one being above the law is actually applied when it comes to crimes with a political bent.

One of the benefits of having political or cultural power is being able to afford good lackeys…I mean employees. And to find even better fall guys…or fall women. No need to be sexist here when we’re dealing with a lack of accountability, right?

Anyway, when you’re able to surround yourself with people who can either keep you out of trouble by finding loopholes and sucking up to the right power brokers or who can take the fall so you can skate away like Brian Boitano, you are practically untouchable. Sure, you might get socked every so often with lighter charges (like getting charged with an overdue library book after being found killing a nun at high noon in Times Square), but most of the time, you’re golden because you have the gold to make it happen.

That fact alone makes the Left’s “no one is above the law” bullshit, well, bullshit. But to add to the what-the-actual-fuckitude of these situaitons, when you add politics to the mix, you get people willing to protect you at all costs. And this is the really fucked up part of it: the political animals being protected by the mobs of adoring fans more obedient than Renfield was to Dracula give one-one-trillionth-of-a-fuck about those fans. They are useful idiots, with a heavy emphasis on the idiot part.

Guess that that means, kids. The same people who say no one is above the law become hypocrites when it’s one of theirs trying to be above the law.

Told ya it was fucked up.

Which brings us to the Trump indictments. Others far more knowledgeable than me have already talked about the legal shitshow ahead of us, so I will leave them to discuss the judicial ins and outs. The parts I will cover revolve around just how deep this indictment rabbit hole goes and just how far Leftists are willing to pervert the rule of law just to get Trump.

Let’s start with Manhattan District Attorney Alvin Bragg. The protagonist or antagonist (depending on how much you hate Trump) ran on an anti-Trump plank, citing the work he did on the investigation of alleged crimes prior to being elected. Under most circumstances, this would be enough to raise some eyebrows as to whether his office could be impartial. And when you consider a) Bragg is a Democrat, and b) the DA position is an elected position, the political aspects cannot be overlooked and can definitely be seen as a conflict of interest.

But, in Trump’s favor, Bragg appears to be inept, so he’s got that going for him.

Oh, and did I mention he got donations from Color of Change? This progressive movement works to try to address the racial inequities in the judicial system (meaning they want blacks to be incapable of being held accountable for crimes they commit). Even beyond that, some of their board members worked previously with SEIU, the Aspen Institute, and other progressive organizations at least partially funded by…Uncle George Soros. And when you consider Color of Change both got donations from Soros and donated some of their money to Bragg’s campaign, let’s just say the Star Chamber looks a lot more like King Solomon’s court by comparison.

And before you Leftists say it, pointing this shit out isn’t anti-Semitic. I could care less what faith, if any, he professes. A bad actor is a bad actor. I would criticize Soros in the same breath I criticize Joel Osteen and for the same thing.

Well, that, and the fact Osteen’s teeth are whiter than the DNC.

That brings us to Judge Juan Merchan, who will be presiding over this shitshow…I mean trial. No, wait, I do mean shitshow. The good judge donated a small amount of money to the Biden/Harris campaign as well as to other progressive causes. Sure, it’s not much in the grand scheme of things…until you consider his daughter worked for a progressive organization called Authentic …whose clientele include Kamala Harris, Gavin Newsom, and…the Biden/Harris campaign. And the list is even longer according to their website.

So again, a conflict of interest, but since it favors the Left, it’s okay!

No wonder people think we have a two-tiered judicial system.

And here’s the thing. For all the people who are cheering the Trump indictments, you can find plenty of examples on both sides of the aisle of politicians and figures who are literally above the law. Hunter Biden ring a bell? Of course, he’s just the son of the President who just so happened to be caught doing drugs, owning a firearm in spite of being legally prohibited from owning it, and a few other minor scandals including possible illicit deals with China. But he’s a private citizen, so we really shouldn’t pick on him, right?

Okay, I’ll agree to that.

But some of the following people weren’t private citizens when they committed their crimes:

Bill Clinton
Hillary Clinton
Barack Obama
Joe Biden
Adam Schiff
Nancy Pelosi
Harry Reid
Ted Kennedy
Christopher Dodd
Gretchen Whitmer
Alexandria Ocasio Cortez
Ilhan Omar
Kamala Harris
Maxine Waters

Need I go on? And I can produce the receipts of each and every one of their crimes. Try me.

And, yes, I know Trump isn’t the only Republican to seemingly skate when it comes to legal matters. But that reinforces the major point: Leftists are fucking hypocrites. They want justice (or at least a Pablo Picasso version of it) for everyone else, but don’t you dare hold them accountable for the illegal shit they do because…reasons.

So, we’re stuck. With political influence taking over the judicial branch like a case of the clap, there is no easy way to fix it. Given the political sideshow of the Trump indictments, you could get arrested for wrongthink before you could say “doubleplusungood” on the whims of a Leftist prosecutor or judge. And believe me they are just that petty. Even after charges are dropped, you’re still guilty. Just ask Kyle Rittenhouse.

Then, there are the people who can commit any number of crimes and never see the inside of a courtroom for them. I’m looking at you, BLM and Antifa. You can cause all the chaos you want, and you will always get the fiery but mostly peaceful benefit of the doubt.

I wish I could give you a happy ending or some inspirational speech to make things right again, but I can’t. As long as there are people who can get away with crimes no matter what, Lady Justice is best kept blind out of fear of what she might see out of the so-called judicial system today.

Leftist Lexicon Word of the Week

Given the events of the past week, I will apologize for this piece not being as funny as my usual fare (which, as some readers can attest, may not be that big of a difference), but we’re delving into something really big and serious.

And, yes, I’m talking about trans people. Again. But this time the stakes have gotten a lot higher.

I’m talking about the Trans Day of Vengeance which was scheduled for April 1st. Put simply, it’s a day when trans people and their allies vow to continue to fight for trans rights in the light of recent bills making their ways through state legislatures addressing “gender affirming care” for teenagers and younger among other more controversial topics.

After the recent shooting in Nashville, though, it’s time everyone takes a deep breath and step away from their feelings for a moment to dig into this event in greater detail.

Trans Day of Vengeance

What the Left thinks it means – an event to recognize and fight for trans rights

What it really means – a really bad look for the trans right movement

I’ve made my feelings known on the trans issue previously, but I’ll restate it briefly since it does become relevant later. I don’t care if you’re trans. Just don’t be a dickhead and treat others with the respect you want in return. That’s pretty much how I treat anyone, now that you mention it.

So, having said that, the Nashville shooter was a dick, and being trans doesn’t change that fact. Even if the shooter self-identified as a good person, I would say killing 6 people sticks a pin in that identification. And, even if the school was a flaming pile of dog shit to the shooter, that doesn’t excuse the act. Most disagreements, I’ve found, can be addressed without heading for the gun safe.

So, what does this have to do with the Trans Day of Vengeance? Well, it’s a little thing the kids today like to call optics. What do you think of when vengeance is mentioned? If you’re like me (and if you are, seek help), there aren’t many positive connotations that come to mind. Not all of them violent, I grant you, but definitely not a “let’s sit down and discuss our differences over tea” vibe.

The poster for the event reinforces the negative connotations with the statement “Stop Trans Genocide.” Maybe it’s me, but I don’t think there’s actual trans genocide going on, unless you want to conflate the bills being suggested/pass as genocide. But more to the point, how exactly do you stop a genocide? Marching? Social media? A well-crafted hashtag?

Nope. You typically stop it with violence.

And when you consider some of the people backing Trans Day of Vengeance are advocating taking up arms…well, it’s not gonna end well. Given the all-or-nothing nature the more vocal trans people and allies have taken, anyone who doesn’t agree 1000% is liable to wind up in the figurative and possibly literal crossfire.

Including your humble correspondent.

Here’s the part many people on the Left and the Right don’t get. You can agree with a person or idea and still offer legitimate criticism with the intent of creating the best possible outcome. And, let me tell ya, the Trans Day of Vengeance ain’t gonna cut it. Not only are you going to turn off potential allies who are on the fence because of the current environment, but you’re looking like violent assholes in the process. No matter what your intent may be, the phrasing used make it sound like you’re about to go all John Wick on anyone who doesn’t celebrate Dylan Mulvaney 365 days of being a girl.

As entertaining as that might be, it doesn’t help the end goal. If anything, you prove your critics right and give them a reason to attack you right back. Consider me your computer asking “Are you sure you want to do this?” before doing something monumentally fucking stupid.

Walk this back for a moment before answering. This idea is a step you can’t take back easily if you regret it down the line. Once you cross that line, you’re stuck with the consequences. Yes, there are assholes out there who will hurt or kill you for being fabulous. There will always be those kinds of people out there. But you do not need to become them to protect yourselves. Understand them, yes. Turn them into martyrs for their self-righteous cause? Fuck to the no.

And while we’re here on the understanding tip, maybe try to understand why these laws are being proposed in the first place. If your answer is “Because Republicans,” oooooh, sor-ray. That’s incorrect. The source of the outrage is…members of the trans community acting inappropriately around minors. As inclusive as your community is, there need to be some quality standards before letting some people in because there are some freaks out there using drag as a cover for their illicit activities. The longer the trans community sits on their well-manicured hands without kicking out the bad apples, the more likely it looks like you support their activities, which drives the anti-trans folks which fires up the pro-trans folks and the downward spiral into chaos, violence, and another Madea movie.

If you want to support trans rights, do it, but find a friendlier means of outreach. Vague references to potential violence and built-in justification for it under the guise of a genocide that isn’t happening aren’t the way to do it. Try reaching out a hand, preferably one without a weapon in it, and look to make friends with those who disagree with you. If they slap your hand away, so be it. Eventually, you’ll find someone who will shake your hand. Violence doesn’t make that happen, kids.

Leftist Lexicon Word of the Week

Granted, I’m a week late on this, but under the circumstances (namely me deciding to write about something else), I hope you’ll forgive me. And if not, well…I’ll pout.

Anyway, California is usually at the forefront of a lot of things, namely really bad ideas. Recently, San Francisco proposed a lump sum payment of $5 million to eligible blacks for reparations, among other proposals. Additionally, the state’s Reparation Task Force submitted a report to the California Legislature that Governor Gavin Newsom is expected to implement if the legislature doesn’t act.

As a result, I am stating for the record I now self-identify as a black resident of San Francisco. Please respect my privacy during my transition.

Seriously, reparations is a controversial subject to say the least, which means it’s perfect for your favorite blogger who writes a weekly series by this specific title to cover. Take that, “Leftist Lexicon Word of the Week” written by Jerry Funklemeyer!

reparations

What the Left thinks it means – monetary compensation given to blacks due to America’s slave history

What it really means – another way for white Leftists to blow through more of our money so they can feel good about themselves

The Civil War/War Between the States/War of Northern Aggression/The War the Movie “Glory” Was Based On was one of the most difficult and bloody times of our nation’s relatively young history. From 1861 to 1865, this country was more fractured than Jackie Chan’s body after doing his own stunts. But once the Union prevailed, the question was what to do next. Back then, they didn’t have Leftists to provide their sage advice about misogyny and trans rights in the former Confederacy, so it came down to a meeting between William T. Sherman and black ministers to create an attempt at reparations: 40 acres. (Mule, sold separately.)

And that attempt got scuttled by President Andrew Johnson, leaving the matter unresolved until recently.

There have been calls for reparations in recent history, but the idea really took off in 2020 thanks to the Democratic Primaries where there were…four black candidates out of 27. Five if you count Elizabeth Warren. And of those black candidates, none got the nomination, and only one (Kamala Harris) got to the White House as Puddin’ Head Joe’s Vice-President. Not too shabby for someone who I almost tied in the Iowa Caucuses and I didn’t even run.

Out of that and the shootings of blacks that occurred in 2019-2020, the idea of reparations gained new steam, which prompted California to create the aforementioned Reparations Task Force.

So, now that we’re back in the present, let’s start shitting on the reparations idea, shall we?

As a concept, reparations aren’t that hard to understand. We wronged an entire race of people by enslaving them and treating them worse than Ike treated Tina, so we want to try to balance the scales somehow. Admirable goal, but the logistical equivalent of an M.C. Escher drawing.

The biggest hurdle to the idea of reparations is the fact none of the people who are demanding it today were ever slaves. And it’s not like we can fire up the TARDIS, go back to 1865, drop off $5 million, and tell the slaves to invest heavily in Apple in 100+ years. Although time can be a big ball of wibbly wobbly timey wimey stuff, it’s still bound by fixed events that can be tracked. And with the passage of time comes the birth of generation after generation that are removed from slavery altogether, save by bloodline.

But does bloodline alone create a solid enough link to award $5 million? That creates another speed bump to payday: what about those who either didn’t own slaves or fought for the Union in the Civil War? If bloodline is enough to give away money, it should also be good enough to exempt people from being forced to contribute to this monetary transfer. I have two relatives who fought for the Union (who, by the way, fought at least in part to end slavery). Yet, I get the feeling I would be expected to open my wallet and give generously to the Give Non-Slaves $5 Million Because Fuck You That’s Why Foundation.

And don’t get me started on their telethons!

Then, there’s the question of mixed-race children. Back in the day, white slaveowners knocked boots with slaves, which resulted in the genes of both races coming together to form a new life. Would the families of such a sexual union have to pay up or receive reparations? Or maybe they would just get $2.5 million? Or would the white half have to pay the black half $5 million?

Regardless, the fact we can even ask some of these questions without the pro-reparations side coming up with answers is not a good sign. But wait, there’s more!

Dropping $5 million into anyone’s lap is going to be significant, and it opens up any number of opportunities. And if it’s bundled in hundred dollar bills, it’s going to make the males in the audience sing tenor for a few years. For most people, though, it’s life-changing money, but only if it’s used intelligently. This is where human nature comes into play. If we get any amount of money from $2 on a scratch-off ticket to millions of dollars, our first instinct is to spend it. If this sum comes with few strings attached, though, we can get pretty reckless with it because in our minds it’s “free money.”

But just as any breadwinner today can tell you, money can run out fast if you’re not careful. Or if you vote for Puddin’ Head Joe, which is pretty much the same thing as not being careful.

When we don’t know or care how we get the money, we have less of an incentive to be smart with it. And, no, this isn’t a racial thing, but rather a human thing. Economists have studied this phenomenon for decades and it always ends the same way: the further we are away from earning money, the easier it gets to spend. Hence, the reason so many big lottery winners end up blowing their winnings and winding up right back where they started.

Guess what I think will happen to the reparations money if it gets approved.

And it’s not like there isn’t precedent with this. Remember Hurricane Katrina (which, oddly or appropriately enough, was the last time Kanye West was relevant)? Well, some inventive (and ultimately dishonest) people found a way to turn tragedy into a windfall to the tune of an estimated $2 billion. Between recipients of the aid spending the money on non-essential items, including vacations and porn, and others getting relief funds for people who didn’t exist, Katrina proved to be a disaster of a natural disaster response.

But the Katrina failure was more federal, right? Nothing like that could happen on the state level, right? Wellllll…not really. Our good friends on the Left Coast racked up an estimated $20 billion in fraud related to the pandemic. Leftists bad with money? Why that’s…pretty normal, really.

Now, why would I bring up Katrina and COVID in a discussion about reparations? To underscore a point that will taint the idea: governments, especially large ones, don’t keep good tabs on who is getting the money. It’s more of a rubber-stamp process. Granted, the reparations initiative in San Francisco comes with some conditions, but I’m not sure the state government that racked up ten times the Katrina fraud is capable of making sure the conditions are met.

But then again, it’s not meant to be effective or efficient except in one area: easing the guilt white Leftists feel over slavery. And they’re willing to spend as much of your money as possible to make sure they feel better no matter how long it takes! When you consider the amount of guilt a Leftist could prevent brownouts in California if it could be converted into electricity, let’s just say you might as well give the government access to your bank accounts. I mean, if China doesn’t already have it, thanks to TikTok.

It’s at this point I need to remind the white Leftists…none of you fuckknuckles were alive during slavery. You can feel bad about what happened generations ago, but to make it a central part of your life is a bit extreme and at this point silly. Kinda like the Young Turks, but less comedic. You cannot change the past, nor can you expect any amount of money to ever make it right because there will always be people willing to prey on your guilt to get more money out of you. As long as the greedy and dishonest among us see Leftist largess as free money, the spigot will never turn completely off and there will be fraud aplenty.

The thing is the Left has made it amazingly easy to game the system, thanks to the rhetoric they’ve already presented as true. And eagle-eyed readers already know how. Remember, the Left maintains how you self-identify is as real as how you are. Rachel Dolezal and Shawn King both identify as black in spite of being whiter than a medical isolation room run by Mormon IBM executives. Yet, they were/are considered to be authentic voices on the black experience in America.

Well, shit. If they can do it, so can I. And I can think of 5 million reasons to do it!

And California can’t say shit about it. Well, they can, but they’ll look like hypocritical assholes doing it. So, win-win!