Before I delve into this week’s Leftist batshittery, I do want to apologize for going into another immigration piece. I didn’t plan for it, but it just so happened birthright citizenship exploded last week, so I felt it needed some attention. Going forward I will do my best to vary the topics and give my slightly undercooked takes and marginal humor a chance to bore you with more variety.
So until then, let’s dive right in!
Immigration has provided America with a rich tapestry of cultures and traditions because we have opened our arms to so many people throughout the years. Even with this, many immigrants (and recent visitors, for that matter) have grown to love our little country and want to be more like us. As a result, these people assimilate to our culture.
Which Leftists don’t like, yet claim every immigrant assimilates to our country and culture. So, I figured we’re due for a little lesson in assimilation.
assimilation
What the Left thinks it means – what every immigrant does
What it really means – what some immigrants do, but not enough
At the turn of the 20th Century, we had an influx of immigrants looking to start a new life in America. This started a concept called the American melting pot where these multiple cultures came together to make our country stronger.
Well, except for the Irish. They had a slightly less cordial greeting in some sections.
For the most part, America remained a melting pot for generations, with each new one assimilating to our culture while Americans adopted some of the cultural aspects of the old world, as it were. It didn’t mean these new Americans abandoned their old ways; they integrated those ways into the American experience.
Then, somewhere in the late 20th Century, some people got it in their heads that being American wasn’t all that great and that the best way to become an American was to force the people here to adopt your ways. I think it might have been Jerry Lewis. Or Menudo.
Regardless of who started the idea that assimilation wasn’t necessary to be an American, it started the expectation that America would bend over backwards to welcome them. And by expectation, I mean demand. Before you could say “Habla Ingles” we started seeing government documents written in multiple languages, having to press 2 to continue in English, and other signs that the people coming into the country had no interest in assimilating to our country. That’s not just a dick move, but as we’ve seen in the past year or so, it’s becoming deadly.
On the other hand, Americans are expected to assimilate to the norms of foreign countries even when on vacation. And if we don’t, we’re called “ugly Americans.” Speaking as an ugly American, I say I was born looking this way, so back off man!
But more to the point, these foreign countries have a point. Even if it’s for a short period, we should try to blend in as much as we can.
Let’s say I’m moving to France for my retirement. (To the French people reading this, I’m not actually coming, so you don’t have to pull out your surrender flags.) Before I even filled out my change of address card, the very least I would do is learn to speak French. After all, it’s hard to pantomime you have to take a shit without people looking at you funny.
Not that I know anything about that, mind you…
Along with picking up the native language, I would pick up as much of the French and local culture as I could to make sure I could function. Sure, I might still get called an ugly American, but at least I made the effort.
Is that so much to ask of people coming to America?
Apparently it is because to many (especially on the Left) adapting your original culture in favor of the American culture is betrayal. And the Left is more than willing to enable you to defy norms (and not just the guy from “Cheers” or the late Mr. Macdonald). After all, your culture is bound to be better than ours right?
Not so much.
For all of its faults, America is the place to be. I don’t see too many people trying to escape America to head to Cuba, CODEPINK notwithstanding. And let’s face it, those who would are dumbasses, so we would actually gain by losing. The only downside is Cuba may haul us before The Hague for war crimes by sending too many dumbass Leftists (but I repeat myself) to their country.
If we want more immigrants to want to assimilate, we have to lean into the fact America is pretty awesome. So, maybe we make some changes to the current immigration policy, which makes less sense than a Kamala Harris speech.
I’m not big on loyalty oaths, but I am big on Ameri-countability Buddies! That’s right, kids, every immigrant gets an America to keep tabs on them to acclimate our new proto-Americans to what we have to offer. This will be a 12 month commitment, but it’s essential to help them go from new kid in town to pure 100% USDA grade A Murkan.
The Ameri-countability Buddy will work with the immigrants to help them get on their feet with mastering the language, or at least getting them to the point they can hold a longer conversation than “I’ll take a #5 Burger Meal with a Coke.” Within that 12 months, the Ameri-countability Buddy will help the new immigrants find gainful employment, a home of their own, how to find and utilize civic and mercantile entities, and give them a sense of what is means to be American.
But it’s not all work! Once a month, the immigrant and the Ameri-countability Buddy get to go to a quintessentially American experience. Like monster truck rallies. Of course, we’ll kick in a few bucks to help things along because Murka. There will be opportunities for cross-cultural exchanges because assimilation requires a willingness on both sides of the ledger to share joy, company, and food.
So how does one become an Ameri-countabilty Buddy? It’s simple. You have to meet a few conditions.
1. You must love America.
2. You can’t be a Leftist. (Although I’m pretty sure number 1 would weed out most of them.)
3. You must be willing to open your home to an immigrant.
As far as the immigrants are concerned, we have a few conditions as well.
1. You must want to be an American.
2. No criminal behavior or you get a ride in the Deportation Catapult with a helmet, pads, and a pillow.
3. You must be willing to share your culture with us while adopting ours in the process.
Pretty simple, really. This is only a rough draft at this point (mainly because we’re still trying to get the patent on the Deportation Catapult), but it’s a good start.
Look, I know assimilation is a hard road, but if you’re driven to become an American, it’s worth it. We have people on waiting lists around the world wanting to live here even for a couple of years. If that doesn’t tell you how awesome America is as a country, nothing will.
Plus, we kick ass when it comes to fast food.
Tag: immigration
Leftist Lexicon Word of the Week
To put it mildly, the US Supreme Court has been at the center of a lot of controversy over the past few decades. From the various rulings around Roe v Wade to however the fuck Ketanji Brown Jackson got a seat with the High Court while simultaneously being one-tenth of a halfwit, it’s a miracle there aren’t more protests.
After the recent rulings about birthright citizenship, though, there might be a few more coming down the pike. Immigration debates are already highly charged in the first place, and the Right hoped the 6-3 conservative majority would rule the practice would go the way of former President Brick Tamland’s sway over the Left.
Wellllll…it didn’t go that way. In Trump v Barbara, the Supreme Court voted 6-3 to strike President Trump’s Executive Order banning birthright citizenship. The Left were happy in spite of convincing themselves the court would uphold it. The Right were unhappy because they thought the 6-3 majority would guarantee it.
As for me…well, I have a headache thinking about the concept, so in lieu of aspirin, I decided to look into it further.
You’re welcome…I guess.
birthright citizenship
What the Left thinks it means – a way for newborns from foreign parents to become American citizens that should be maintained
What the Right thinks it means – a way for newborns from illegal immigrant parents to become American citizens that should be eliminated
What it really means – a simple idea complicated by politics
So, we’re all on the same page before moving into the sexy part of this controversy, we have to define what birthright citizenship actually is. Basically, it’s the idea if you’re born on American soil, that makes you an American. That’s going to piss off more than a few Leftists, but that’s not important right now. The crux of the idea comes from the 14th Amendment, which states in part as follows:
All persons born or naturalized in the United States, and subject to the jurisdiction thereof, are citizens of the United States and of the State wherein they reside. No State shall make or enforce any law which shall abridge the privileges or immunities of citizens of the United States; nor shall any State deprive any person of life, liberty, or property, without due process of law; nor deny to any person within its jurisdiction the equal protection of the laws.
Seems pretty straightforward, right? And it was for a lot of years until someone got it in his/her (still 2 genders for those of you playing along at home) head that this would cover the children of illegal immigrants. And based on a plain reading of the 14th Amendment, I can’t find fault with that conclusion from a logical standpoint.
Until we add that little thing the kids today like to call context. The author of the section of the 14th Amendment quoted above was a man named John Bingham. His history prior to writing the 14th Amendment is interesting, so you might want to read about it using this link. For those who don’t, let me break it down.
Bingham saw racial injustice towards blacks and wanted to end it through targeted legislation. He failed at first, but eventually got it done.
Now, what does this have to do with the current state of birthright citizenship? Glad you asked because if not I would have had to come up with something witty to put here, and we know how well that works!
In his speech introducing the 14th Amendment, Bingham anticipated how future/current generations would try to adapt it to their needs, but focused primarily on how it would impact blacks, who had just experienced a painful history of being treated as less than human. Although this is a limited focus, it’s essential to understanding the context. Bingham didn’t want this to become a means for states to treat blacks as non-citizens under their laws, but a baseline for Congress to enact new laws to expand on the concepts within the Amendment. And they did.
And then they didn’t when it came to illegal immigration.
This is when President Trump took action, and when the Left lost their collectivist minds. One Supreme Court decision later, and here we are.
You may be asking “Thomas, what do you think of the decision?” You may also be asking “Thomas, why are you dressed like Ernest Borgnine in a tutu?” First off, don’t kink-shame me. Second of all, how did you get in my house?
But to answer the first question, as much as it will piss off the Right, the Supreme Court made the right decision, kinda. Here’s what I mean.
Section 5 of the 14th Amendment reads as follows:
The Congress shall have power to enforce, by appropriate legislation, the provisions of this article.
As the big fan of the Constitution as I am, I can see the fundamental flaw with this section, namely being the Executive Branch is the enforcement arm of the government. Having said that, the 14th Amendment puts the onus on Congress to enforce it, so unfortunately any enforcement of the provisions falls on them.
Which means they’ll get around to it by the time we celebrate America’s 300th birthday.
The Executive Order President Trump made circumvented the process established with the 14th ratification. It asserted the power of the Executive Branch to do the job it’s been doing since 1787, but it also violated the Constitution, leading to the Supreme Court decision and the subsequent freakout.
The dissents on Trump v Barbara are worth reading if you have the time and a lot of coffee and truck stop speed because the history lesson and intent were laid out pretty thoroughly. You might want to read Justice Jackson’s dissent if only for the comedic concept that she calls out Justice Clarence Thomas by name to try to give him a dressing down. That’s like Dylan Mulvaney calling out Danny Trejo for not being as badass as he is.
So, what happens now? A lot of bitching and moaning without anything getting done. At the very least, Trump allies in Congress have a path forward to write legislation to address birthright citizenship. The problem is time is short, the problem continues to grow, and Leftists will call them racist. So, any Tuesday on Capitol Hill, pretty much.
To me, the concept of birthright citizenship has merit, but it also has a loophole that allows people to abuse it. Until that loophole gets fixed through the aforementioned legislative action, it’s going to continue to be a problem. It also raises a point about how far Constitutional provisions extend to illegal immigrants. Even as I write this, I see numerous touchpoints that intersect with birthright citizenship.
What’s the solution? I got nothing. We have allowed politicians to warp the Constitution so this matter can’t be undone without a lot of work, a united front willing to discuss it, and the courage to fix it once and for all so the loophole is closed tighter than a little black dress.
Well, I’m off to my cryogenic chamber to wait for the day this happens. Wake me when shit goes down.
Leftist Lexicon Word of the Week
Since Donald Trump’s second inauguration, there’s been a lot of attention paid to illegal immigration, which is a continuation of Trump’s first inauguration where he paid a lot of attention to…illegal immigration. If I didn’t know any better, I’d say there’s a pattern here…
The latest battleground is at the Delaney Hall ICE facility in Newark, New Jersey. Allegations of poor conditions prompted Leftists to do what they seem to do on the regular these days: bitch and moan. Things got so bad, Mayor Ras Bakara instituted a curfew that was lifted a few days after it was initiated.
So, Summer of Love 2.0 anyone?
Actually, I think a closer look at Delaney Hall might be in order, if for no other reason than to give me something else to write about besides Graham Platner who has a literal Nazi tattoo. Oh, and is a total scumbag.
Delaney Hall
What the Left thinks it means – a horrible place indicative of Trump’s cruel treatment of undocumented aliens
What it really means – an ICE detainment facility that has turned into a focal point of stupidity
Delaney Hall is a relatively new building, but it already has a history which include, surprise surprise, protests. (Hey, if Uncle George Soros is willing to part with some of his cash, I’d be willing to protest full time, too!)
Where things got chippy was during a 2025 “oversight” inspection conducted by Rep. LaMonica McIver and two of her fellow New Jersey Representatives. And by oversight, I mean “making a fucking spectacle of herself,” where Rep. McIver tried to throw hands and wound up catching 3 felony charges for, you know, trying to throw hands at ICE officers.
The fact McIver isn’t trying out for a reboot of “Orange Is the New Black” is beyond me, but it set off a series of stunts where Congresscritters would bypass normal operating procedures and just show up whenever they wanted and expected, nay, demanded entry.
How’d that work out for ya, dipshits?
Not very well, but it created a framework by which Leftists could ratchet up their protests. After all, shouldn’t a Congresscritter be allowed to see the facility using Congressional oversight authority?
Yeaaaaaah. Not really.
Congressional oversight may be broad in nature, but it has to be related to the functions of Congress, not some capricious whim that Leftists thinks covers the powers of the legislature. ICE is a part of the Department of Homeland Security, which puts it in the Executive Branch, as is Customs and Border Protection. The role of Congressional oversight includes making sure laws are being carried out.
You know, like immigration law?
Anyway, the investigative part of Congressional oversight is typically done by having show trials…I mean PR stunts…I mean Congressional hearings. Although, to be fair, I would prefer more listening at these hearings, so calling them “hearings” is a bit misleading.
Much like what’s going on at Delaney Hall.
The Left has to try to make detention centers look and sound like concentration camps because it fits in with their existing “Trump is a Nazi” narrative. The problem? The narrative doesn’t fit the reality. The detainees get decent meals, which is vastly different from what was served at concentration camps. As far as the other allegations of subpar conditions, that’s subject to debate based on Tom Homan’s recent visit to Delaney Hall. Say what you will about the man (and believe me Leftists have said a shit-ton), Homan isn’t exactly the type to sugarcoat anything, especially if it’s bullshit. Just ask the Socialist Socialite.
This brings us to the “who benefits” portion of the program. On the one hand, we have Tom Homan, who admittedly has a vested interest in keeping Delaney Hall open due to his position as Border Czar. On the other hand, we have detainees, prison advocates, and politicians who have a vested interest in shutting down Delaney Hall. Both have reasons to lie or at least distort the truth to protect their positions.
That’s where we have to dig a little deeper and ask why someone on either side of this discussion would lie. Homan has been in law enforcement for decades prior to his current role and has a track record of dealing with illegal immigration. His “why” can be distilled down to wanting to protect his image and/or the Trump Administration. Not necessarily admirable if he lied, but understandable.
The same can’t be said for the detainees, advocates, and politicians, however. The Left has built a Kobayashi Maru (or at least they think they have) by boosting the claims of mistreatment, malnutrition, and medical malpractice. (And with that, I have earned my Unnecessary Alliteration Merit Badge from the Snark Scouts.) The problem? Their claims can’t be verified independently. Consider it Schrodinger’s Detention Facility. If you can’t see the detainees, you can’t tell if they’re being mistreated, but if you do and the detainees aren’t being mistreated, you either have to reject the narrative (rendering it all bullshit from the jump) or you have to perpetuate it (rendering it all bullshit after the jump).
And remember, kids, Leftists are smarter than us. Just ask them.
And, contrary to Leftist squawking points, dropping in unannounced but with a full camera crew and a throng of humanity backing you up isn’t the proper channels to visit Delaney Hall, or any detention facility anywhere. Before you can step foot in a prison, you have a cadre of investigation about facets of your existence that make the TSA look like rubber-stamping paper pushers. What these Congresscritters and their minions want to do is circumvent the rules because…reasons.
That means the detainees, advocates, and politicians all have a vastly different why than Homan. Their why comes down to protecting the power they have and playing hard and fast with established protocols for a political end.
When put that way, the “who benefits” clearly doesn’t bode well for the Left. Granted, Homan may have similar motivations, but he hasn’t tried to make every illegal immigrant into a sob story where he or she just wants a better life.
Kate Steinle was unavailable for comment.
Look, discussing immigration is like tap dancing in a minefield wearing clown shoes, but there are reasons why we have laws on the books. Instead of trying to prevent said laws from being enforced because your fee-fees get hurt, change the fucking laws. Sure, that would require you to win House and Senate elections while maintaining a favorability rating just south of leprosy, but that’s what you signed up for when you were elected.
As far as Delaney Hall’s alleged lack of oversight, let me put it this way. The Trump Administration is under the microscope so much they have glass slides permanently affixed to their asses. If they were truly as horrible as the Left claims, we would know about it because you Leftists wouldn’t shut the fuck up about it.
By the way, Chicken Little called. He wants his bit back.
Even with all that, I still think the Trump Administration should allow Congresscritters and critics to visit Delaney Hall with some conditions I put together.
1. They have to sign a contract binding them to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth under threat of libel/slander.
2. Everyone who goes inside gets an accountabilibuddy to make sure they abide by the terms of the contract.
3. Everyone who goes inside spends a full day inside so they get an actual day in the life.
4. Both the interested party and the accountabilibuddy have to wear bodycams.
5. If the interested party leaves the facility and fails to tell the truth, he/she (still two genders, kids) must get a tattoo on his/her forehead reading “Liar.” The judges would have also accepted “I’m A Dumbass” for people with more forehead space than brains.
6. Public mockery.
Okay, so I threw in that last one because I want it to happen, but you get the picture. The only way to get a true sense of what Delaney Hall is like is to ensure there is as little wiggle room to lie as possible. My humble proposal will go a long way towards getting the transparency necessary to ensure conditions are habitable.
Plus, I want to throw some business to the tattoo artists out there!
Leftist Lexicon Word of the Week
I know! I’m shocked at having a Lexicon entry two weeks in a row, too!
It’s no secret the Trump Administration has been actively working on illegal immigration, just like it’s no secret the Left is actively working to stop the Administration’s efforts because they need their votes…I mean they’re trying to help them live the American Dream.
Anyway, one of the stickiest elements of this involves birthright citizenship. The Trump Administration wants to end the practice and the Left wants to keep it so they can have gardeners and servants they can pay pennies to…I mean make great Americans out of them. Well, soon we may have our answer as the US Supreme Court agreed to take up the President’s case against birthright citizenship.
So, while the iron is still somewhat lukewarm, let’s dive into it!
birthright citizenship
What the Left thinks it means – a Constitutionally-protected method of citizenship
What it really means – an idea that has been warped into its current monstrous form
The idea of birthright citizenship has its origins in British common law and later codified in the 14th Amendment:
All persons born or naturalized in the United States, and subject to the jurisdiction thereof, are citizens of the United States and of the State wherein they reside.
There’s a lot more than this to the 14th Amendment, but this is the part that applies in this discussion. Previously, this has been interpreted to mean if someone is born in America, he or she (still two genders) is considered a citizen regardless of the status of his/her parents. This was further underscored with the Supreme Court’s decision in United States v. Wong Kim Ark. And it worked for the most part, with further Supreme Court decisions expanding the breadth of those who
Then we started having people coming across our border like they were trying to get front row festival seating for Taylor Swift, only without the horror of Taylor Swift actually performing. Then, as soon as these illegal immigrants had children on American soil, these children became American citizens under the law and, thus, subject to receive all the benefits (figurative, literal, and monetary) of being a citizen. This, in turn, allowed the parents to gain access to said benefits.
So, yeah. A cluterfuck just waiting to happen.
And it happened. Quite a few times as it turns out.
While the concept itself has arguably noble roots, its current practice leaves a lot to be desired, much like a Queen Kamala the Appointed Presidential campaign. But we have to ask ourselves whether the solution the President proposed is going to fix the problem or cause more.
And to be honest, I’m not exactly sure.
Before the Supreme Court weighs in on the matter, we’re left with a lot of questions, mainly because the legal experts you can find on any news network can fuck up the interpretation of “water is wet.” The way the 14th Amendment is written, at least to your humble blogger and bestest buddy, leaves enough wiggle room for the current practice to continue.
Plus, there’s the way President Trump tried to address the birthright citizenship situation: through Executive Order. Granted, this certainly isn’t the first time a President has issued an Executive Order that has shakier footing than a bowl of Jello on the San Andreas Fault during an 8.6. Having said that, there is a matter of the Constitutional process to consider.
Because the 14th Amendment is a thing, the correct process to change it is to call a convention of the states and see if there’s enough agreement to amend the Constitution. Then, there’s a litany of other hoops to jump through, including getting Congress to vote on the proposed amendment (or amendment to the amendment in this case), which will make primates throwing shit at each other look like the Algonquin Round Table. But, that’s the process.
Issuing an Executive Order doesn’t circumvent the Constitution, nor should it. As much as I want to see our immigration policy overhauled, it has to be done within the confines of the law, and I don’t think an EO is the way to make that happen. The only possible reprieve I can see for the President is the fact he is the head of the Executive Branch, which is responsible for the enforcement of the law. And no matter how much the Left wants to sugarcoat it, immigration is a legal issue, which would put it under Trump’s job description. Well, that, and being the Troll In Chief.
Not that this is going to stop the Left from puffing out their chests and acting like badasses to protect immigrants. Like Eric “Fang Fang’s Bitch” Swalwell, who said, “Trump’s not touching a single Californian on my watch.” Of course, he’s saying this as a candidate for Governor of California, so it’s only natural for him to say it as a means to get votes. One tiny problem there, little buddy.
Trump has a bigger dick than you do.
And he has more of a legal basis to do what he’s doing than you want to do, too!
It’s amazing to me that a sitting Congresscritter doesn’t understand the difference between state executive power and national executive power, but then again this asshat serves with Jasmine Crockett, so maybe he’s the intellectual tofu of the Left and just takes on the stupidity around him. Even so, it would be funny to see Fang Fang’s Bitch try to act tough when the military is surrounding the state of California. Not that Trump would do that, mind you. He’d be too busy mocking him on Truth Social, but he might let Secretary of War Pete Hegseth take a crack at it.
Having said all that, we do need to take a hard look at all of our immigration policies, not just birthright citizenship. Whether the Left wants to admit it or not, they do want open borders for some people, but bureaucratic hoops for others. Or at least that’s what one of their financiers, our good buddy Uncle George Soros, may want. Of course, the Left denies it, but they thought President Brick Tamland was sharp for years, so I’m going to take their denials with a Mount Everest-sized grain of salt.
More to the point, however, is the Left’s desire for a two-tiered immigration system. The poor are allowed to get on the public dole and protected against deportation, while others who they see as better off have to endure roadblock after roadblock just to get a chance to come here and work for a living under the rule of law. And when you throw in the concept of birthright citizenship as a means for the former to get assistance, the frustrations for legal immigrants get easier to understand, yet harder to swallow.
That’s because the Left doesn’t see legal immigration as a means to their ends. Legal immigrants have to run through a phalanx of qualifications just to get a chance to come here, and even then they aren’t embraced by the Left as much as illegal immigrants are. We can speculate as to the why, but for me it comes down to one thing.
Legal immigrants are smart enough not to fall for the Left’s bullshit by and large.
When you have the power to give benefits away like a drug dealer at Hunter Biden’s house, you have a level of power over the lives of those accepting the benefits. Remember all the videos and TikToks of people upset at SNAP not being funded right away thanks to the government shutdown? That’s what I’m talking about there. And I’m going to go out on a limb here and say the illegal immigrants who vote (and, yes, they do vote, thanks to Leftist initiatives) will always vote for the people who promise to keep their benefits rolling in.
I know I’ve gone a little off the trail here, but it’s part of the larger point, that being America’s immigration policy needs an overhaul. You know, like tearing it all down, putting a moratorium on immigration as a whole until we get our shit straight, and rebuilding it so we can reverse the trend where the illegal immigrants get a pass and the legal immigrants get the shaft.
As far as how to reform birthright citizenship, that’s going to be messy, but I think I have a solution. We have to take a closer look at the circumstances behind the citizenship. If a pregnant woman (still 2 genders) comes to America and has birth while here, that shouldn’t automatically mean the child becomes a citizen by default. After all, the child doesn’t have the ability to give consent to stay here; they are still wards of their parents, for lack of a better term. Now, if the woman comes to America through legal channels (which can be verified through documentation and computers) or asylum (which can be verified through the American consulate), then I would be more inclined to allow the child to be a citizen because the parent/parents show their willingness to follow the law.
That just leaves the illegal immigrants. For them, the road gets tougher than it is now because they haven’t gone through any channels, legal or otherwise, to become citizens or seek asylum, then the child isn’t a citizen yet. See, I have this little thing I call “walking the walk,” and I’m not talking about border crossings here. If you really want a better life for your family, you have to put in the effort to make it happen. Why? Because it’s common fucking decency. If I decide to visit a foreign country, let alone settle there, the least I can do is learn the language unless I already know it. I will suck at it, I’m sure, but it shows I care enough not to burden others with my lack of knowledge.
And that’s really the point here. If you can’t or won’t do the basic shit, you’re going to be a drain somewhere down the line. If we don’t acknowledge that, immigration is going to continue to be a problem. States like California may feel the need to overlook the issue because they love spending money to coddle illegal immigrants in exchange for cheap labor, but the country can’t anymore.
If limiting birthright citizenship to those who put in the effort to become Americans is too extreme, so be it. I’ve been called worse names by better people. But we are reaching a point where we can’t sustain the current system that plays favorites and rewards criminality (often several times over) rather than a genuine desire to be productive members of a society.
And I’m not just talking about getting jobs. When you really want to assimilate into a culture, your attitude changes. Yes, you still have pride in your past, but you also take on a new sense of pride at your present and your future. Working hard to achieve a goal is a personal investment that you don’t want to squander by not giving something to add to the great potluck that is American culture. Whether you’re bringing couscous or tater tot casserole, we welcome it!
Oh, and make sure you bring plates and silverware for yourselves, okay?
Leftist Lexicon Word of the Week
There’s a popular saying on the Right: the Left can’t meme. Mainly because…they can’t meme. Hey, there’s actual science behind it, so we have to Trust the Science, right?
This week, I was introduced to another example of this, that being the Left’s latest attempt to get one over on President Donald Trump. In an attempt to draw attention to the tariff situation, they created an acronym, TACO, which stands for “Trump Always Chickens Out.” And when one Leftist comes up with an idea, it’s a surprise, but it also gets spread around as the funniest thing ever.
So, let’s just say this week’s Lexicon has me hungry for Mexican food.
TACO
What the Left thinks it means – a clever acronym that shows Trump always backs down from his tariff threats
What it really means – a damn stupid acronym that failed to make a meaningful impact
To understand TACO, we must understand the underlying issue, that being tariffs. As I’ve written previously, tariffs can be used as a negotiation tactic, which is what President Trump has tried to do. Sometimes it’s worked, sometimes it hasn’t. Overall, we’re still making our way through the uncertain waters post-Tariff-A-Palooza.
One of the problems the Trump Administration faces is the President flip-flops on the matter more than John Kerry cooking pancakes at an IHOP working straight commission. That has given the Left ammunition (which is funny considering they hate guns, but love violence) to mock the President. Hence, the idea Trump always chickens out when it comes to making tariffs more than empty threats.
Unfortunately for the Left, that idea is based on a lie. There have been some notable successes that extend beyond merely funding the government, not the least of which being former Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau resigning.
You’re welcome, Canada.
Meanwhile, the Left thinks TACO is not only a factual statement, but a winning strategy. They went so far as to rent a taco truck to give away tacos in front of the Republican National Committee headquarters in Washington, DC. Now, I’m not one to pass up free food, but apparently I’m in the minority in our nation’s capital because that taco truck stunt resulted in the truck leaving early and Leftists getting mocked on social media.
And now, they’re getting mocked in a blog post. I’m sure they’ll recover somehow.
The truth of the matter is it was a fucking stupid idea to begin with, and it’s only getting worse with the Left a) defending the message, and b) doubling down on it. It did have one success, that being making Trump mad. Great work, kids. You’ve really shown us. Now what will do you for an encore? Come up with another lame acronym that spells out something stupid at a total own of the Orange Man?
Scratch that. It was stupid the first time, and the law of diminishing returns is a thing.
There is another Leftist assumption at work here. Due to their warped (and Jasmine Crockett-level stupid) perception of Trump’s immigration policies, the Left thinks Trump hates Hispanic people. At least, that’s what they keep saying over and over again because, well, unoriginal thinkers. The truth is a little muddier than that. Yes, Trump has called out Mexico repeatedly, but there’s some context the Left doesn’t want you to consider.
Leftists are pro-illegal immigration. Full fucking stop.
As simple as this is, I still feel an explanation is in order. The Left’s approach to immigration relates directly to their ability to gain and retain power. If a tighter border benefits them, they’ll support it, but more often than not, a border looser than the morals at an all you can eat brothel (and I’m not talking about an endless buffet, kids) works in their favor. To them, immigrants are a means to an end. However, not everybody who crosses our border is looking for a better life and an honest day’s work.
Hence, the Left plays on our emotions by painting all immigrants as just poor people who need our help. And if a few bad apples come across, that’s acceptable because the majority aren’t bad people.
Laken Riley was unavailable for comment.
There’s a vast difference between following the existing process to come to America and the shitshow the Left has allowed to happen, but opposing illegal immigration isn’t hate in and of itself. By conflating legal immigrants with illegal immigrants, the Left has created a ready-made excuse for any Tomas, Ricardo, and Julio who sneaks into the country. And with that excuse comes benefits ranging from luxury hotel rooms to culturally-sensitive food.
So, naturally, the Left wants people to think anyone who doesn’t appreciate the largesse extended to people who jumped the line must hate all Hispanics.
Now, what does this have to do with TACO? I may be off in left field on this, but I don’t think the acronym was a coincidence. Leftists understand how Trump acts emotionally (mainly because they trigger him), so they find ways to get under his skin to get the emotional outbursts they want. And what better way to reinforce their opinion that Trump hates Hispanics than to get him to react negatively to the TACO acronym?
Then again, these are the same idiots who thought online influencers could help Queen Kamala the Appointed become President, so it might just be a coincidence after all.
Regardless, the way the Left was pushing TACO made it seem as inorganic as a fast food burger made from microplastics and AstroTurf. They were like stand up comedians who knew a joke bombed, but would go back to the joke time and time again hoping the second, third, or even the four-hundred-ninety-eighth time would make the audience laugh.
Basically, like my blog posts, but on stage.
By trying to make TACO a thing, the Left wound up making it…well, nothing, really. It lacked the core of any online movement, social media fad, or viral YouTube video: it has to at least feel real, if not completely accidental. That’s how you get actual reach in the online space. You can’t create an audience out of thin air. These days, you have to buy it.
Seriously, though, the best the Left could hope for with TACO was it would make their sycophants…I mean followers giggle and share it with their network, comprised of, you guessed it, other Leftists! Mission accomplished, dudes/dudettes/other derivations of the word “dude” that apply.
And now, it’s become a punchline not even two weeks into it. It’s so bad Vice President JD Vance called you “the lamest opposition in American history.” And it’s hard to argue against that, really. If this is the Left’s A game, it’s coming off more like an Meh game. And it only gets worse when you consider you’ve just made JD Vance look like a mature, serious-minded adult. This shit is going to backfire on you come 2028 when Vance throws his hat into the ring against…whatever Frankenstein’s monster ticket you’ll come up with to oppose him.
Might as well get used to saying “President Vance” for 8 years, kids.
Leftist Lexicon Word of the Week
In my 55 years of kicking around this ball of rock and water we call Planet Earth, I’ve seen some pretty amazing things. The first Space Shuttle flight. The Berlin Wall coming down. Internet porn…not that I know anything about that, mind you. But this past week, I saw something that caused me to almost swallow my face.
Leftists finally found asylum seekers they didn’t support.
President Donald Trump granted refugee status to white South Africans who were fleeing racial oppression at the hands of their government. So far a whopping 59 white South Africans came to America. And, predictably, the Left lost its collectivist shit over it trying to explain it away through cries of “racism” in lieu of “wolf” and whataboutism to the extent my Bullshit-O-Meter overloaded.
At the heart of this controversy is our asylum process. To put it mildly, it’s more fucked up than having Hunter Biden as an accountability buddy/crack dealer. So, naturally, it’s worth exploring further.
asylum
What the Left thinks it means – a means for oppressed people to come to America and seek a better life
What it really means – a process that needs a serious overhaul
To say our immigration policy is more fucked up than Sybil on LSD is an understatement, but we do try to set forth a semblance of a policy. In some cases, a situation is so dangerous or dire that we have to make exceptions to the normal immigration rules. That’s where the asylum process comes into play. Although it’s been abused…I mean used as a catch-all by previous Administrations that will remain nameless (but it rhymes with Slow Mindin’), there are certain criteria that have to be met before it can be granted. And even then, there’s the wonderful world of bureaucracy to deal with, which makes the process even more frustrating and/or dangerous.
This is where the Left gets things wrong when it comes to asylum. As much as “no one is above the law” has become a mantra when it comes to President Donald Trump, the Left believes the law can and should be circumvented for every Tomas, Ricardo, and Jaime that arrives at our southern border without even trying to seek asylum. Although it’s amazing elected officials are ignorant of the laws on the books and the concept that breaking these laws is a crime, it did lead to one of the most epic takedowns in Congressional history.
Oh, and a tip for the gamblers out there. If you ever bet on the number of fucks Tom Homan gives, always bet the under.
This brings us to the current situation involving the white South Africans. President Trump called what they experienced as a “genocide,” which is a gross overstatement and unnecessary given the conditions already in place. However, there are details that can move that needle one way or the other.
It started with a little thing the kids call apartheid. For almost 50 years, white South Africans treated the black population as second-class citizens at best. This was a bad idea, not just because it was racist and stupid, but because the whites were and still are vastly outnumbered. This practice got the boot in the 1990s due in no small part to Nelson Mandela.
Then, something predictable happened: the oppressed became the oppressors. Once black South Africans got into power, the urge to flip the script was too great, and the white South Africans found themselves on the wrong side of the apartheid stick.
Where things get really funky (and not in a Parliament Funkadelic way) is the passage of a law where white South African farmers had to give up portions of their land without compensation because racial justice or something. Even if you think it’s okay given how much property white South African farmers own, the civil libertarian in me (and hopefully in you) says that’s not right. If you own something and any entity takes it from you, you are due compensation of some kind, whether it be monetary, legal, or legislative.
Now, remember the criteria for asylum I referenced and linked earlier? One of them involves persecution or possible persecution on the basis of…race. And, surprise surprise, white South Africans have a pretty good case for that based on the aforementioned land law.
Oh, and there’s the “Kill the Boer. Kill the Farmer.” song popularized by anti-apartheid groups and more recently by Julius Malema, a political leader in South Africa. While Leftists swing between “it’s not about white genocide” and “it could be construed as being in favor of white genocide,” the simplest explanation is…fuck yeah it’s about white genocide, and only fucking dipshits would say it wasn’t!
Oddly enough, the Leftists who think it’s not about white genocide are the same people who take Donald Trump literally whenever he says anything even slightly controversial in a joking manner.
Regardless, the white South Africans have a legitimate case for asylum, so why is the Left complaining if following the law is so important to them? You know, aside from being hypocritical asshats. Fortunately for us, they’ve tipped their hands early and often. It’s all about racism. Sure, Leftists say it’s Trump being racist because he’s allowing white South Africans to get asylum, but it’s the other way around; Leftists want to deny them entry because of their skin color.
Simple enough, but there’s another reason related to the race issue. Leftists have tried to turn racism from hatred of another race (which it is) into hatred of another race with the inclusion of power (which is bullshit). Without going too far into the weeds, let’s just say the Left’s revised version of racism does more to create minority victims than actual racism does, which makes it racist by definition. Funny how that works out, isn’t it?
Why do I mention this? For one, it pads out the Lexicon entry a bit. But more to the point, the situation with the white South Africans puts the Left’s definition of racism on its head. They may own the vast majority of the land, but that in and of itself isn’t power. The power in South Africa is clearly on the side of the black population, so the Left’s dynamic doesn’t work. But since they can’t admit that, they pretend a) it doesn’t exist, b) it’s totes different because reasons, or c) Orange Man Bad!
The problem, of course, is the law itself. Racial persecution is clearly written and is hard to argue against in this case, but dammit the Left is going to try!
Which is why I think we need to overhaul the asylum process when we’re overhauling our immigration system. To the Left’s credit, they are correct that economic issues are a valid reason to consider offering asylum to others, especially if we want to be seen as a land of opportunity. The question becomes where do we draw the line. The way we’ve done it recently is not sustainable and creates a dangerous strain on our social safety net. If we demand these potential asylees bring something worthwhile to the table (i.e. marketable skills, a good work ethic, etc.), we run the risk of looking heartless or driven solely by materialism.
Beyond that, the current asylum process can take years. There’s tons of paperwork, red tape, and contradictory practices to overcome. So, we’re left with the challenge of streamlining the process while keeping as many relevant avenues to asylum open without stretching ourselves too thin.
Good luck with that.
Seriously, the best way I can figure out how to tick all of these boxes is to create a system to separate the different types of asylee claims to maximize the speed at which they can be processed. And with specialization, it’s going to create a stronger knowledge base overall. Instead of having to have 100 people looking at the full gamut of cases, you can have 10 people working on economic asylum requests, another 10 working on racial asylum claims, and so on. Through that process, the groups of 10 are going to gain an intimate understanding of that particular process. Then, if you have a case that covers more than one asylee area, they can be called in to offer their expert opinions.
With everything electronic these days, doing a background check and filling out paperwork can be quicker and easier. It shouldn’t take cutting down a forest for a mountain of paperwork to come here under dire circumstances. There are other reasons to cut down a forest, after all. (Just kidding, environmentalists!) And we can hire some of the Sallie Mae folks to do the background checks, which will guarantee the asylees can be found.
And finally, and this is the hardest part, we need to approach each claim the same: with a healthy mix of optimism and skepticism. Not every asylum claim is truthful, but we can’t assume they’re all fraudulent. It’s going to take some research and knowledge of world events to pick out the bad actors from the legitimately needy.
That eliminates TikTokers.
But it opens the door for people like me who are curious, compassionate, and cynical. In fact, Gen X is gonna be flush with job opportunities for decades to come, so win-win baby!
As far as the white South Africans, welcome to America, where most people will welcome you and those who don’t claim to be all about diversity. Ignore the latter and you’ll be fine. Most of us do, and those who don’t are getting something out of it, like content for a mildly successful weekly blog series written by a handsome, well hung, and incredibly sexy man.
And since you haven’t found that one yet, read mine!
Leftist Lexicon Word of the Week
The Leftist world was all atwitter (or if you prefer all aX) recently with the story of Kilmar Abrego Garcia, a poor illegal alien soul who was deported back to his home country of El Salvador, allegedly without due process. Without going too far into the weeds, let’s just say you’re more likely to catch Bernie Sanders flying on a private plane than you are to understanding the ins-and-outs of this case.
Wait. Scratch that.
So, to borrow a phrase from hack comedians, what’s the deal with deportation? It’s a complicated issue that deserves sober thinking to understand the gravitas of the subject. But since I’m already a few beers into this, you’ll have to put up with me.
deportation
What the Left thinks it means – a practice that needs to be done by the book, no matter how long it takes
What it really means – the legal consequence for illegal immigration
Contrary to what Rep. Jasmine Crockett says, illegal immigration is a crime. The law in question is the Immigration and Nationality Act which, along with other laws and regulations, provides direction for the immigration and deportation processes. Seems everything should be in order, right?
Not so much.
Much like Disney with negative reviews of “Snow White,” our political class loves to ignore the laws on the books when they’re inconvenient. And let’s just say the immigration laws are mighty inconvenient to the Left. After all, that’s the use of following immigration laws if they prevent you from ensuring Democrat control? You know, aside from those laws being the fucking laws.
That’s not to say Leftists don’t follow the laws all the time. In fact, one area where they demand the laws be followed to the letter is in…you guessed it, Frank Stallone. Actually, it’s deportation, which is really convenient considering it’s our topic for this Lexicon entry. After allowing people to enter the country through our southern border like wine moms going to a Taylor Swift concert, it’s funny to watch Leftists be such sticklers to the letter of the law.
And by “funny,” I mean calculated.
I know I’ve mentioned our good friend Saul Alinsky so often I could be his agent, but one of his Rules for Radicals applies here: “Make the enemy live up to its own book of rules.” Since Republicans believe in the rule of law (unless they find the laws inconvenient for political gain), the Left knows it has them in a box when it comes to immigration. If we have to follow the laws when it comes to stopping illegal immigration, we have to follow the laws when it comes to deportation.
And that’s where Constitutional law comes into play. The US Supreme Court previously ruled all aliens are entitled to due process under the Fifth and Fourteenth Amendments. So, that means regardless of the way they come into the country, they get their day in court.
A noble gesture in theory, but a burden in current practice, thanks to a little thing the Leftist kids like to call the Cloward-Piven Strategy. In short, this strategy is designed to achieve Leftist goals related to poverty by forcing the system to get overwhelmed. And guess how that gets accomplished: illegal immigration.
“But wait, Thomas. Wouldn’t illegal immigrants be ineligible for federal benefits?” you might ask. Or “Are you aware you’re not wearing pants?” The answer to the former is they should be, but thanks to loopholes in the law and soft-hearted and soft-brained politicians (I’m looking at you, Gavin Newsom), they gain access.
So, what does this have to do with deportation? By having to follow due process and the delays caused by so many illegal immigrants being processed over the past few years, the strain to the social safety net continues unabated.
That is, until President Trump got back into the Oval Office and decided to start enforcing immigration law. In the first six weeks, the Trump Administration deported 27,772 illegal immigrants, which is a step in the right direction. Where I think they’ve gone wrong is through fast-tracking the process. Yes, I know this plays into the Cloward-Piven and Alinsky playbooks, but it’s necessary to ensure the Left has no room to bitch. Not that it will stop them, mind you…
Nor will it stop the Left from lying. With the Kilmar Abrego Garcia case alone, we’ve seen attempts from the Left to paint him as an innocent victim denied due process and attempts from the Right to paint him as a gang-banger terrorist who has been legally deported back to his home country of El Salvador. Well, the truth is a bit murkier than these extremes are letting on.
First off, Kilmar Abrego Garcia freely admits he entered the country illegally, but has received a court order preventing him from being deported back to El Salvador out of fear of being attacked by a rival gang. So, not only have we confirmed he’s a member of a gang (MS-13 to be exactly, and I ain’t talking about Microsoft) and that he’s not supposed to be here, but he’s already had due process. But he also has a court order that should have protected him from deportation, as well as a questionable designation as a terrorist.
That means…well, a whole lotta shit, to be honest. If we deport him, we run afoul of the legal process. If we don’t deport him, he will still be affiliated with MS-13 which could put us in mortal danger.
Congratulations. We’re now in Kobayashi Maru territory.
The only way forward is being transparent, follow the law, and, oh yeah, stem the flow of illegal immigration to give the system time to catch up. And guess what the Trump Administration is doing? They’re cracking down, and that’s resulted in reduced encounters at the US/Mexico border. It’s a start, but there’s still a lot more to do.
First of all, let’s stop treating gang members like terrorists. Not only does it set a bad precedent for future Presidents, but it gives Leftists ammunition to call the deportation process into question. And, let’s face it, it’s not exactly the swiftest nor the clearest process in government. Plus, it elevates gang members, which only feeds their egos and gives them enough bravado to commit bigger, more audacious crimes. That, in turn, may cause other gangs to try to play catch-up, making the gang problem even worse.
Second, as much as the Trump Administration wants to rush through the deportation process to get results, we have to play it by the book. It won’t stop Leftists from lying or making gang-bangers look sympathetic figures, but it cuts the due process complaint they have off at the knees. And at the very least, it will make Leftists look like Cotton Hill, which will never fail to make me laugh.
Lastly, it’s long past time we overhaul our immigration and deportation policies. And that requires taking a hard look at our border policies. We can’t keep letting anyone with a sob story (and without paperwork) walk in unexamined while others jump through bureaucratic flaming hoops to gain legal entry. As draconian as Leftists think Trump’s border enforcement may be, it’s working. That gives us time to get our house in order.
If you really think about it (and I have because I’m as boring as an Amish rave), the deportation issues we’re seeing now are an outgrowth from the immigration issue. The more illegal immigrants come into the country, the more deportation orders have to be made once they’re caught. Of course, Leftists will continue to push for sanctuary cities and sanctuary states because, well, they don’t have to deal with the aftermath since they live more in the suburbs than where the illegal immigrants are.
So, let me float this idea, one that I’ve modified from Governors Ron Desantis and Greg Abbott. While they flew illegal immigrants to sanctuary cities and states, I want to send them to the residences of those who insist on being sanctuary cities and states. Preferably, to the houses of those politicians who made those things possible. Maybe that will drive home the point that illegal immigration isn’t something we should encourage.
Or, at the very least, we can point and laugh as we give Leftists exactly what they said they wanted.
Leftist Lexicon Word of the Week
Unless you’ve been living under a rock (or in Amish country), you’ve heard the term “border crisis” tossed about like a frisbee at a stoner festival in Colorado on 4/20. While the Puddin’ Head Joe Administration has been busy handling the really important issues, like finding out who has been buying Bibles, the southern border has seen numerous illegal immigrants crossing practically at will. And it’s left officials in southern states looking for help.
Maybe they haven’t heard about the Bible buying epidemic.
It was only when Texas Governor Greg Abbott did something (and by something, I mean a few things) about the situation that the Left got upset. I mean, how else are they going to make illegal immigrants vote Democrat if they aren’t allowed to enter the country illegally?
Seriously, though, we need to dig deeper into the border crisis because…well, there’s a lot of shit behind it.
border crisis
What the Left thinks it means – an overblown non-issue that shows how Republicans hate immigrants
What it really means – a serious crisis caused by both major parties giving zero fucks about immigrants
The history of immigration laws in America is…well, a little on the confusing side. Put simply, a country that was founded at least in part on immigration from foreign lands decided to limit immigration in 1965 because…reasons, I guess? But that hasn’t stopped people from wanting to come to America, and it certainly hasn’t stopped people from taking shortcuts to come to the Land of the Free and the Home of Anchor Babies and Green Card Marriages.
Since illegal immigrants tend not to fill out census forms, it’s estimated that there are over 11 million of them in America right now. That’s over 10 Rhode Islands and almost 20 Wyomings. And keep in mind this is just an estimate. The actual number could be higher or lower, but the fact it’s more than the populations of all but 7 states tells me there’s an issue.
Not that the Left agrees there is an issue, mind you. The Puddin’ Head Joe Administration has gone from claiming the southern border is secure to saying it would be secure if it weren’t for those pesky Republicans and their dog to saying it hasn’t been secure for a decade. Even Mitt “I Ain’t Shit” Romney tried to blame Donald Trump for the border crisis.
Good thing Kamala Harris the border czar or we’d be fucked! Oh, wait, we are, and it’s not just because Vice President Word Salad has zero ideas of what to do.
The fact is the past 3 years of the Puddin’ Head Joe Administration’s border policy has resulted in more, not less, illegal immigration. But now that the 2024 elections are coming up and voters see the President as less effective on the border than a bubble pipe in a gang war, they’re going to get serious and…adopt some of the same policies they decried as racist and xenophobic when Trump suggested them. Brilliant!
Even if Puddin’ Head Joe goes full MAGA, it’s not going to solve the border crisis. And the same will happen if Donald Trump wins the Presidency again, and it’s for the same reason: because the majority of politicians don’t want to solve the problem. Remember, one of my immutable truths of life is government is not in the problem-solving business. For the Left, there is too much money and power to be gained by letting people enter the country like hookers and blow at Hunter Biden’s place. For the Right, there is too much money and power to be gained by stoking the fear illegal immigrants are taking American jobs and taking money out of social programs. And any attempts to change the status quo is going to piss off one side or the other.
So, why not piss them off by doing something?
The fact so many Leftists are going after Governor Abbott for securing the southern border of his state and for sending illegal immigrants to sanctuary cities is a sign they know how bad the border crisis is and are freaking out that a Republican governor had the balls to hold the Left at their word. Throw in Ron Desantis, and you have two Republicans willing to do something about the problem.
And now that several other Republican governors are backing Abbott’s play? The Left is in full-blown freak out mode, or should be if they were aware of the implications of the policies they’ve been pimping for years.
And they aren’t. They’re too busy either trying to continue to spin Puddin’ Head Joe’s border failures as not his fault or looking for an alternate candidate to support, like…oh, I don’t know…Nikki Haley? Either way, the Left can’t bullshit their way out of this. Their hands are pretty dirty, which given how they don’t like to work, is ironic, don’t ya think?
However, I would be remiss if I didn’t mention the Right’s failures on the border. Yes, Donald Trump promised a border wall, but there are ways to avoid the walls altogether, such as tunnels under the wall or into states where they give illegal immigrants a pass, like California. Throw in the growing fentanyl epidemic being funneled through these and other tunnels and human trafficking being done in conjunction with illegal immigration and you have a multi-front problem that neither major party has any idea of how to address. It’s one thing to show compassion to those who are seeking asylum due to political violence or civil unrest, but it’s another thing to let every Tomas, Ricardo, and Hernando across the border under the assumption they’re asylum seekers.
But that’s the Left’s plan. By lumping those attempting to go through proper channels to come to America with those just looking to get free shit, the Left paints a picture that doesn’t match what’s going on in an attempt to get you to let your emotions override your logic. As long as the border crisis continues, the Left will use this tactic to take your mind off the ever-rising numbers coming into America through dishonest means.
But that’s why we should counter the pulling of the heartstrings with hard numbers and logic. The border crisis is no longer about alleged asylum seekers, but encompasses more criminal activities the longer we sit around with our thumbs up our asses. First off, that’s very uncomfortable and may lead to carpel tunnel syndrome. Second, and more importantly, we’re playing with human lives here. Taking a stand against the Immigrat-a-palooza going on under Puddin’ Head Joe and the ineffective “solutions” that take no real action to secure our border is the only way I know to respect our national sovereignty and protect as many people as we can on both sides of the border.
Then, maybe American can return to the Land of the Free and the Home of the 99 Cent Menu at Taco Bell.
Leftist Lexicon Word of the Week
The latest battleground for the fight over illegal immigration is a lot further north than you might expect. I’m talking about the Leftist haven, Martha’s Vineyard. It turns out Texas Governor Greg Abbott and Florida Governor Ron DeSantis decided to fly several immigrants to Martha’s Vineyard to show them a better life. You know, Leftist utopias where everyone is super educated and live incredibly well? Away from conservative hellholes where racism, sexism, xenophobia, and homophobia are rampant and the people are uneducated rubes?
Well, let’s just say Leftists aren’t greeting their new immigrant neighbors with open arms. In fact, Leftists are circulating the idea the aforementioned Governors with brass balls the size of, say, Pluto are guilty of human trafficking. And by circulating, I mean repeating the same squawking points with steadily increasing volume and frequency. As we’re about to find out, the squawking point has a deeper origin than even the Left has considered.
human trafficking
What the Left thinks it means – Republican Governors sending asylum seekers to other parts of the country against their will
What it really means – Leftists not understanding the issue, like, at all
Illegal immigration has a number of facets that often get glossed over in the debate on what to do with the immigrants we catch, and human trafficking is one such facet. And it’s not a once-in-a-while problem, either. The 2021 numbers show a stark picture of the scope of the human trafficking problem, but those are just the cases we know about. Government agencies from ICE to Customs and Border Protection and non-government organizations like the ACLU are sounding the alarm and efforts to reach as many people as possible are evident to anyone who’s used a convenience store bathroom can tell.
Good thing Leftists aren’t trying to demonize and/or eliminate ICE and the Border Patrol, right? Oh, wait…
So, what exactly is human trafficking? There are a number of definitions floating around there, but the general consensus involves the exploitation of people for sex, work, or services through coercion, deception, or force. For the purposes of this discussion, though, I want to use the definition provided by the United Nations:
Human trafficking involves the recruitment, movement or harbouring of people for the purpose of exploitation – such as sexual exploitation, forced labour, slavery or organ removal. Victims can be children or adults, boys, girls, men or women, and are trafficked by the use of improper means such as the threat or use of force, fraudulent schemes, deception, or abuse of power. It can occur within a country or across borders. Human trafficking is therefore characterized by an act (recruitment, transportation, transfer, harbouring, or receipt of people), specific means (threats or use of force, deception, fraud, abuse of power, or abusing someone’s vulnerable condition) for the purpose of exploitation (for example sexual exploitation, forced labour, slavery or organ removal).
To the Left, what DeSantis and Abbott are doing fits the UN’s definition of human trafficking perfectly because, as they frame it, they are exploiting the immigrants for political points. And since they’re being flown to different parts of the country, it’s a slam dunk, right?
Not so much. One of the aspects of the UN’s definition is recruitment. Both Abbott and DeSantis have been vocal in their efforts to try to stem the tide of illegal immigration, with Abbott taking specific action to enforce immigration law which the federal government doesn’t seem to want to do. And considering Florida and Texas are two of the top 3 states of reported human trafficking cases, I’m thinking DeSantis and Abbott might just have a vested interest in not encouraging any activity that would make those numbers worse.
In fact, it’s not Republicans who are rolling out the red carpet for illegal immigration. It’s the Democrats. By framing every immigrant as either escaping horrible conditions or wanting to make a better life here, they have done to illegal immigration what Glamour Shots did for housewives in the 80s and 90s: using tricks to hide or soften the imperfections and give a beautiful, albeit distorted, view of the subject.
Now, consider what impact that has on human trafficking. The Left makes no distinction between Raul who crosses the border illegally to find work and Pedro who crosses the border illegally to make money by exploiting people of all ages to fill the needs and wants of his clients. Maybe it’s me, but I think there’s a huge fucking difference here. Both are breaking the law, but only one of them drags other people with him into exploitation.
No wonder the Left wants people to think DeSantis and Abbott are the evil ones here. Well, that, and the fact they’re both Republicans who aren’t afraid of Leftists not liking them. If Leftists admit there are bad actors (and I’m not talking about Brie Larson) mixed in with the “good guys” coming across the border…illegally, it would not only ruin the rosy picture they’ve been painting for decades, but it would lend credence to what DeSantis and Abbott have been saying. And Lord knows Leftists hate to admit they were wrong.
There’s another reason the Left is freaking out about illegal immigrants heading to Martha’s Vineyard: DeSantis and Abbott are forcing Leftists to live by their own ideas. Remember when Leftist communities were fighting each other to get attention for being “sanctuary cities”? Well, it’s easy to make such proclamations when you aren’t dealing with a steady influx of illegal immigrants. You know, like Martha’s Vineyard? Once the immigrants start arriving, the Leftist welcome mats start disappearing, along with the signs saying “No person is illegal.”
The late comedian George Carlin made an observation about homelessness that has some application here in the form of the abbreviation NIMBY, which means Not In My Back Yard. Leftists talk a great game when it comes to helping people (usually in the form of more government), but they don’t always walk the walk when presented with the opportunity, as the citizens of Martha’s Vineyard have now.
Annnnnnnd they decided to ship their new neighbors to a military complex because…reasons?
Your compassion is underwhelming, Leftists.
When it comes to human trafficking, though, we need much more than words and stickers on bathroom mirrors. Yet, I’m not sure America is quite ready for the discussion and action needed to make real change. Both sides of the political spectrum have a vested interest in keeping the illegal immigration and subsequently the human trafficking issues alive to retain power over their respective voting blocs. But we’re dealing with human lives here, and there shouldn’t be an ideological divide. Yet, here we are.
And the Left isn’t helping matters any by throwing around accusations of human trafficking against two of the Republican Governors who have given the the most fits in the past few years. At the rate it’s going now, Leftists are going to wear out the “human trafficking” label like they’ve worn out the “fascist” label by overusing it to the point of irrelevance.
Then again, if you had as horrible a record on human trafficking as the Left does, you’d want to bring everyone else down to your level, too.
So, How’s That Sanctuary City Thing Working Out?
Remember when Leftists were all about setting up “sanctuary cities” to let illegal immigrants know they would be safe there? It became a race to see which communities would be the next to proudly proclaim “We don’t care if you broke the law to come here because we won’t enforce the law!” And for a while, it worked. It was a quick way to earn woke points and to use a souped-up Wagner Power Painter to paint anyone who disagreed with it as racist, xenophobic, insensitive, kid-haters who wanted these poor souls to die.
That worked pretty well for communities that were pretty far away from the US/Mexican border, but Texas Governor Greg Abbott had an idea: help the illegal immigrants get to the sanctuary cities. In a pure “fuck around and find out” move, Abbott started busing migrants to Washington, DC, and New York City. I mean, since those two cities are known sanctuary cities, Leftists should be thrilled that Abbott was adding to their diversity!
Not so much.
DC Mayor Muriel Bowser was the first to feel the brunt of the move, resulting in her requesting assistance from the National Guard to deal with the influx. And in a completely expected move, the Department of Defense denied her request.
Then there’s New York Mayor Eric Adams. Apparently he’s not too happy at Abbott busing immigrants to his sanctuary city. Even Leftists are calling out Adams’ reaction to the situation, albeit while spitting venom at Abbott and Arizona Governor Doug Ducey for sending immigrants to sanctuary cities.
Which is odd, given how Leftists have rolled out the red carpet for illegal immigrants. You would think they would be thrilled to live up to their word. Ahhhh, that’s the problem. Leftists love setting up rules for themselves and different rules for everyone else. While January 6th protesters get the Library of Congress thrown at them for trespassing, illegal immigrants get treated with kid gloves for doing pretty much the same thing, albeit with fewer federal agents…I mean “concerned citizens.”
Although the potential overwhelming of sanctuary cities was enough to get Leftists to get pissed, there is an underlying cause I don’t think even they want to admit. And it all stems from Saul Alinsky’s Rules for Radicals. Although a few of his ideas would apply here, the one I find is the crux of the Leftist freakout is Rule 4: Make the enemy live up to its own book of rules. This not only exposes the hypocrisy of the opposing entity, but it opens up opportunities for ridicule and criticism that the entity cannot legitimately counter.
Guess what Abbott did, kids.
By sending immigrants to sanctuary cities, Abbott has effectively showing the Left’s commitment to the concept to be a light year long and a micron deep, which to be honest was always the case. Leftists don’t want actual solutions to the illegal immigration problem since they benefit too much from the problem’s existence. But they can’t really come out and say that because doing so would expose the scam they’ve been running for decades. The advent of sanctuary cities is just the new selling point to get people to circumvent federal law and live off the generosity of American taxpayers.
And before you Leftists say “but they pay taxes, too,” there’s a bit of a difference between paying sales tax and income tax, namely the enforcement arm of the latter being a lot less nice about those who don’t pay up. Oh, and the fact they could be packing heat. More on that another time.
Say what you will about Greg Abbott (and, believe me, Leftists have), but you have to admit his solution to the illegal immigration problem was clever on a political level. Although his intended purpose was to alleviate the real border issues he faces on a daily basis, the impact of exposing Leftists as massive hypocrites, the utter destruction of the myth of sanctuary cities, and allowing cities too far away from the epicenter to get a taste of what Texas deals with was a calculated risk, one that is still paying dividends in the form of Leftist heads exploding.