Well, as has become customary this time of year, I have been once again shut out of giving a commencement address to a college, university, community college, high school, junior high, junior college, barber college, hairdressing academy, or dog obedience school. And this year I thought I had a chance because the guy who played Urkel on “Family Matters” had a scheduling conflict. So, as is customary this time of year, I offer the commencement address I would have given had I gotten chosen.
Good afternoon soon-to-be graduates! It is my honor to stand before you today and regale you with anecdotes that will inspire you, or that you’ll forget 5 minutes after I leave the stage. Either way, you’ll get to deal with me for the next few minutes.
As you are about to embark on the next steps of your lives, it’s important to take stock of what you have done so far. Which…may not be that much. Fortunately for you, it will be a short exercise so you can spend your time on other pursuits.
Like what’s next?
Granted, you may not know what to do next, which is fine. You’re not expected to have your life mapped out just yet. Unless you’re in one of those families where your life is mapped out, that is. In that case, you can just go back to watching TikTok until I’m done.
For the rest of you, this is your time to explore your options. The world is your oyster! Unless you’re allergic to seafood, then the world is some other food that doesn’t cause you anaphylactic shock.
I see this isn’t going well. Let’s try again.
This is the time of your lives when you’re supposed to make mistakes, like piddling on the carpet. Just because you piddle on the carpet doesn’t mean you’re a bad boy or a bad girl. You are good boys and girls. Yes you are! [Author’s Note: This section was originally geared for the dog obedience school, but the piddling might also extend all the way to college, so I’ll leave it in.]
This is the time for you to do some self-discovery. Figure out what you’re all about and then run with it! And when you inevitably do a faceplant that will wind up online, you’ll get to experience the agony of defeat. For some of you, this is an old friend, but for others of you, this might be the first time you’ve experienced this. Either way, it will suck.
But that’s to be expected. Failure is a natural part of life; it’s just how big that failure turns out to be that matters. A minor mishap might teach you a lesson that you’ll carry with you for the rest of your lives. A major mistake might get you fired from a job. A colossal one will get you a career in politics or the media under the right conditions.
And I wish I were kidding about that.
Anyway, you’re going to fail at some point, so it’s best you prepare yourselves because that’s when you’ll find the real you. Not the you you post online. Not the you you project to the world. The authentic you. The you you don’t always show to outsiders.
And with that I’ve used “you” the most times ever in a commencement address.
Unfortunately for you (see I did it again), I’m not quite done yet. Fortunately, I won’t be much longer.
What I’m leading up to here is you can’t be afraid to fail. It’s not something you should want to do, unless you’re going to fail to fail…which would be succeeding…
Where was I going again? Oh, yeah, failure!
Even with the best of intentions, luck, and copious amounts of bubble wrap, you can’t avoid fate for very long. But it doesn’t have to be a death sentence. Most of the time after you screw up, you’ll live. Then, you’ll learn not to do the same thing again, or at least you’ll figure out a different way to do it.
And that’s where the book learning ends and the life learning begins.
Consider this kindergarten with rush hour traffic. And after working in the corporate world for a majority of my life, I can tell you this is exactly what awaits you. May the fortunes be ever in your favor.
Oh, and you got this…I guess.
Leftist Lexicon Word of the Week
Another week, another series of Ls for the Left, this time on the electoral side of things. The US Supreme Court struck down a Louisiana attempt to redistrict on the basis of race by a 6-3 margin. One of the key parts of this decision revolved around the Voting Rights Act of 1965, which in part prohibits racial discrimination in voting. What the case in question (Louisiana v. Callais for those of you playing along at home) did was bring to light the use of the Voting Rights Act to carve out racially-specific districts.
The Left, being the mature and thoughtful people they be, took to the airwaves to lay out a cogent and well-reasoned response.
Nah, I’m bullshitting you. They lost their ever-loving minds.
So, what’s all the hubbub, bub, over the ruling? I’m glad you asked, otherwise I would have had to pull something out of my ass to write about this week. You know, like I do every week.
Voting Rights Act
What the Left thinks it means – an important law that’s been gutted by the Trump Supreme Court
What it really means – a law that had noble beginnings, but got warped by the Left
To put it mildly, America has been pretty shitty towards blacks over the years. And by years, I mean centuries. Even during the more progressive 1960s, we still had to overcome societal biases and realize blacks were equal to whites and should be treated as such.
Enter Lyndon B. Johnson and the Voting Rights Act. With the President’s signature, many voting rules/laws that were around since the end of the Civil War, such as literacy tests and poll taxes, designed to prevent blacks from voting. And, unlike most laws getting passed today, it actually worked. Blacks started voting in droves, becoming an important voting bloc to this day.
Where this shitshow goes off the rails is in the application of the law, namely Section 2. You know how some states have gerrymandered districts that look like a meth head drew them on an Etch-A-Sketch? Thank the Left for that. In the 1990s, Democrats had the brilliant idea that only blacks should represent blacks in Congress. And by brilliant, I mean fucking stupid and racist. Then again, these are Democrats we’re talking about here, so being stupid and racist is kinda their brand. Just ask the SPLC.
Too soon?
Although the racial gerrymandering was permitted for decades, mainly because the Left made it so anything even resembling treating everyone equally racist (yeah, I don’t get it either), there was a tiny problem with it. Namely, the 14th Amendment.
I quote Section 1:
All persons born or naturalized in the United States, and subject to the jurisdiction thereof, are citizens of the United States and of the State wherein they reside. No State shall make or enforce any law which shall abridge the privileges or immunities of citizens of the United States; nor shall any State deprive any person of life, liberty, or property, without due process of law; nor deny to any person within its jurisdiction the equal protection of the laws.
There’s a lot to take in, but the Reader’s Digest condensed version is everyone is subject to equal protection under the law, and you’d better have a damn good reason to limit those protections. Although Leftists will disagree, being white isn’t a good enough reason. Neither is any attempt to get more minority representation in the halls of Congress at the expense of equality under the law.
“But what about the institutional racism of the past, you bigot?” Leftists will probably say. And my response is simple: you don’t seem to think very highly of minorities, do you? I mean, it’s not like prominent Democrats have recently tried to make themselves relatable to blacks by suggesting they’re not smart…oh, fuck, they have. To hear assholes like Chuck Schumer, Gavin Newsom, and too many others to count talk, blacks are incapable of doing anything in their own best interests, so white Leftists just have to do things in their best interests.
When it comes to Ilhan Omar and Jasmine Crockett, they might have a point.
Overall, however, blacks aren’t as helpless as the Left believes. I firmly believe America isn’t as racist as the Left wants us to think and Republicans (the most evilest raciest racists that ever racisted evilly) have shown they will vote for candidates who don’t look like them. Just look at the 2025 Virginia Gubernatorial race. Winsome Earle-Sears ran as a Republican and managed to get over 42% of the vote in a losing effort. One doesn’t do that well without at least some whites voting for you.
And who did Democrats vote for? A white woman who makes Edgar Winter look like George Hamilton.
And if you want to go back a little bit further, didn’t we have a black President a couple of times a few years ago? And it’s not like he didn’t get white votes.
So, why do Leftists insist America is too racist to elect blacks without their help? I mean, aside from the fact they’re racist dumbasses. It boils down to the same philosophy the SPLC used: they need there to be racism to justify their efforts. As long as rich white Leftists can convince people the country is one big melting pot of white supremacy, they can keep the votes and money rolling in.
That’s why they freaked out at the Supreme Court decision. They had to confront the fact their racist anti-racism attempts were actually racist racist attempts. And instead of saying, “Maybe we should rethink this whole racism thing,” they let their masks slip and showed they don’t think very much of blacks after all.
Aside from the gross misapplication of the Voting Rights Act, I still think it serves as an important reminder of why we had to pass it in the first place and to never let up in pursuit of racial equality. The USSC ruling doesn’t gut the Voting Rights Act so much as it removes a way for Leftists to skirt the issue while telling people they’re totally fighting for equal rights.
And if we can’t trust the words of people who think Supreme Court Justice Ketanji Brown Jackson is a brilliant legal mind, who can you trust?
Extremist Makeover – Feminism Edition
With the recent sex scandals involving Democrats and Republicans, it seems everyone is speaking out and condemning the actions. But there’s one group that hasn’t said anything so far, and that group is feminists.
In fact, we haven’t heard much from feminists in recent years, mainly because not too many people care about feminists these days. And that’s including their alleged allies on the Left. In order to strike while the iron is hot, I want to help feminists regain their former glory, provided you want to hear from a man. Well, if that’s the case…I’m still gonna talk about it.
First we need to talk about the elephant in the room, and I’m not talking about Rosie O’Donnell. You guys…I mean gals…I mean women…I mean womyn have more issues than the New York Times Magazine, and it’s these issues that are preventing you from being considered anything other than the proto-Karens you became. And before you start in with the “that’s offensive” crap, this is part of the problem: nobody likes you!
And because nobody likes you, you have a hard time working and playing with other kids. Before you say it, it’s not the patriarchy; it’s you. You come off as rather abrasive to people who aren’t like you, maybe because…well, you are. Unless they kiss your butts (consensually of course) in the name of free abortions, you treat them like utter scum.
Which brings me to another issue you have: you don’t have a consistent message, and the women who were heading up the movement before you disappeared like Nick Fuentes in Harlem were the ones driving it. On the one hand, you claimed all you wanted was to be on equal footing with men, which I honestly don’t have a problem with. But some in your group didn’t get the memo and really want women to be more powerful than men.
Guess who have been the loudest voices in the feminist movement? That’s right, the proto-Karens! You know, the people we don’t like?
That has to change to change the perception of feminism today. Much like with the gay rights movement, the general public gets freaked out when the loudest people representing a movement are the absolute freaks and there are no voices to counter them. This may cause a less acrimonious split than Ike and Tina Turner, but to regain mainstream credibility you have to be willing to tell the loud freaks to shut up and let the adults talk.
Along with this, you also need to come to terms with a biological truth: men can’t be women. Although this isn’t controversial to anyone with even a slight knowledge of reality, this has become the norm with the Left. There are a few feminists out there who are brave enough to acknowledge men and women are different, the silence feminists have allowed to continue on this subject tells me (and a lot of other people) you agree. That has to stop, too, for the same reason as above.
The reason for these moves is the same: to normalize feminism to the point is becomes acceptable to the masses. Civil rights didn’t move forward until people learned to get over their biases and accept blacks as equals. Feminism is on the cusp of that, but the way to break on through to the other side is to reject the rantings of your more radical brethren…err sisteren and clearly state what feminism is.
And given how quiet some of you ladies have been, that’s going to take some doing.
The good thing is you have the opportunity to do that doing right now. Both major parties have been caught with their hands in the cookie jar (and by that I mean unwilling victims’ pants). Not to mention, actual women are being pushed aside in favor of men dressing up like women. Seriously, do you want to be replaced by Dylan Mulvaney, someone who is a living mockery to the class of Audrey Hepburn?
This is a giant neon sign with an arrow pointing at a door that reads “This is your chance to come back.” This is going to be a big ask, but if you want to be relevant again, you have to at least consider it.
You’re gonna have to align yourself with women you used to hate.
Over the past few years, women like Riley Gaines has done more to advance women’s rights than your ideological allies on the Left. Ditto with J. K. Rowling, Tammy Bruce, and Christina Hoff Sommers, to name a few. And I know the Left has a problem with TERFs (Trans-Exclusionary Radical Feminists for those of you playing along at home), but right now they’re the ones doing the heavy lifting and taking the slings and arrows of outrageous Leftist hate.
Maybe it’s time you reevaluate who is really on your side. Spoiler Alert: it ain’t the Left anymore. They may have been on your side a couple of decades ago, but now they’re less reliable than Lindsey Lohan as your rehab accountability buddy. They have used you for votes and donations, and all you have to show for it is those weird looking pink hats you wore during the first Trump Presidency.
In other words, the Left has become your ex.
And you definitely need to cut ties and find someone new who will treat you better. I’m not saying that’s the Republican Party necessarily, but given your recent past, you can do a lot worse because you have.
This is only the beginning, but it’s going to have to do for now. Take these steps and you will be on your way to becoming relevant again. Now, go out and make history!
And don’t worry. I can make my own sammiches!
Leftist Lexicon Word 0f the Week
To put it mildly, it must really suck to be a Leftist these days. Sure, they have some bright spots like the Virginia fuck-up…I mean gerrymandering vote, pending the results of a legal challenge, but for every W it seems they have more Ls than Chicago’s public transit system. Prominent Leftist firebrands like Eric Swalwell and Jasmine Crockett are on their ways out of a job (at least in Congress). Supreme Court Justice Ketanji Brown Jackson is issuing rulings that even her fellow Leftists on the Supreme Court are disregarding as woefully unimpressive.
And now, one of the Left’s favorite organizations, the Southern Poverty Law Center, finds itself under FBI scrutiny and public ridicule for, and I wish I were making this up, alleged money laundering and paying off white supremacists to, well, be white supremacists. And all while raising funds to try to fight them.
Although there are some on the Right who come close, this is one of the dumbest fucking things the Left has done. Which, of course, means, I get to make fun of it in this week’s Lexicon!
Southern Poverty Law Center
What the Left thinks it means – a vital tool in the fight against white supremacy and race-based hatred
What it really means – an organization in search of a problem
The SPLC started in 1971 as an outgrowth of the civil rights movement of the 1960s. When not fighting for blacks to get equal footing in the world, they tracked white supremacist groups and helped raise awareness of their activities. Not a bad gig, really.
But somewhere along the way, the arguably noble origins of the SPLC gave way to Leftist hackery. Racial equality expanded to LGBTQIA+14X-25YX42 rights, migrant (i.e. illegal immigrant) rights, and propagan…I mean education. And with that expansion came the expansion of what constituted a hate group. And, surprise surprise, all of them seem to be right wing in nature!
Now, if you were a Leftist, you would say “that’s because the Right is so hateful.” And if you weren’t a fucking dumbass, you would dig a bit deeper to see just what constitutes a hate group to the SPLC.
And, contrary to popular belief, I am not a fucking dumbass.
After Moms for Liberty got added to the SPLC’s list of hate groups for being “anti-government,” I decided to look into it. Let’s just say you would have to suspend disbelief like the guy from the Crazy Glue commercials from the 1970s to believe the SPLC’s bullshit.
And I’ll be damned if the Left didn’t start looking for steel girders and a hard hat.
When you designate anything outside of your ideological bubble as hate, it’s a crap shoot. There will be some pretty hateful asshats out there, but they tend not to be the majority, just the loudest and most boorish. When I’ve had disagreements with Republicans, MAGA or otherwise, I’ve been treated with respect for the most part and we wind up having a decent conversation. Ditto with most conversations I’ve had with Democrats.
But the Far Left and the Far Right? If I can get past the foam that forms around the sides of their mouths and can foot the bill for the series of rabies shots afterwards, there’s a non-zero chance I can have a decent conversation. Pretty damn close to zero, but still non-zero.
This is the problem the SPLC faces right now. Well, that and the allegations of money laundering and payments made to the people they were allegedly trying to fight, I mean. But more to the point, they’ve let their ideological bent taint their perspective. Here’s a prime example: Turning Point USA is considered a hard right group connected to possible violence, but you know who isn’t?
Antifa.
You know, the ones who are okay with literal violence?
But I’m sure they’ll get right on it. I mean, it’s not like it took them until 2009 to label the Nation of Islam a hate group…oh, fuck, it did. And even then, the SPLC had to make sure they were connected to the “Far Right” because who knows what would happen if they actually did their job correctly, amirite?
By playing picky-choosy with what constitutes a hate group, the SPLC undermines its own credibility as a definitive and objective source. Not that it stops the Left from using their laughable reports as cudgels to “prove” hate is on the rise and only the SPLC can stop it.
Yeah, about that…
What the SPLC and the Left (but, I repeat myself) fail to understand is people do tend to get along pretty well without them. Yes, there are still hate groups out there targeting vulnerable individuals, but by and large we live in harmony. Maybe it’s the Gen Xer in me, but I don’t care what you identify as or what you look like or what you think. Just don’t be an asshole. Simple rule, and it’s kept me in good stead for decades.
But even that one simple rule is too hard for Leftists to follow, let alone comprehend. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again (mainly because I need to fill space): Leftists can never be happy. They’re always pissed off about something or depressed because they aren’t getting their way. I say this this is exactly how I was before I became a recovering Leftist.
This plays into the SPLC situation perfectly because at some point you will run out of things to get pissed off about, but instead of realizing being pissed off all the time isn’t a lucrative as you were lead to believe it was, they figured out a way to keep their doors open by quietly encouraging the activity they were publicly against. Hmmm…that reminds me of someone, an aspiring President who had a public opinion and a private opinion…I can’t put my finger on who that was, but I’m sure Bill Clinton did at one time.
Anyway, this starts a circuit. The group paid off people to “investigate” hate groups and report back. Then, the SPLC “exposes” the hate groups, thus keeping up appearances they’re still doing what they claim to be doing. This, in turn, makes gullible Leftists fork over donations to keep up the good work, which gets filtered back to the organization and used to pay off more people to “investigate” hate groups, and so on.
You know what stops that circuit? People getting along.
The thing about hate groups is they’re loud, but tiny compared to the rest of the population. There’s a reason the Westboro Baptist Church has fewer members than Lorena Bobbitt’s exes; it’s because nobody wants to associate with those assholes! That keeps them small, manageable, and easy to track. And the best part? You don’t have to steal donations to do it! Just let them play badass on their own property and crack ’em in the skulls if they get out of hand. Knowing a whole group of people is going to whup your ass if you decide to get froggy is a pretty good deterrent. At worst, you might have to spring for a few cases of beer afterwards, so it’s more cost-effective than the SPLC.
That’s not to say the SPLC is doomed. That’s for the courts to decide. But even some of the most vigorous and faithful servants have to be asking themselves “Are we the bad guys?” And the answer is yes, yes you are. Whatever good you’ve done in the past is going to be overshadowed by the bullshit you’ve perpetuated in the name of keeping the SPLC relevant and funded. Well, you might be neither after the legal process does its thing and exposes you as frauds.
But look on the bright side. You could be Eric Swalwell.
Leftist Lexicon Word of the Week
If this past week had a theme song, it would be “Another One Bites the Dust” by Queen. Not only is it a damn awesome tune, but it applies so well to soon-to-be-former Representative Eric Fartsmell…I mean Swalwell. He went from being a front-runner for Governor of California to being the punchline to the biggest political joke since Anthony “Let Me Show You My” Weiner.
With Swalwell’s well-deserved exit from the gubernatorial race, new eyes are taking a second (and maybe even a first) look at who’s in the running. And it’s given me a reason to write about it this week!
California gubernatorial race
What the Left thinks it means – a competitive race for one of the biggest states in the country
What it really means – a freak show trying to be the political equivalent of valedictorian of summer school
As of March 26th, California had 61 certified gubernatorial candidates on the ballot pending the results of the June 2nd primary where the top 2 move on to the lightning round, also known as Election Day. And you thought eliminations on “Hell’s Kitchen” were brutal!
Due to the way California does its gubernatorial race, it’s always a shitstorm, especially if it rains in San Francisco. I have to admit there’s a simplicity to their process, but sixty-fucking-one candidates? It might be easier to count up the number of people not running for Governor.
Of the 61 contenders, 24 are Democrats, which is close to 40% of the field. Because if you like your shithole state, you can keep your shithole state by electing more of the idiots that made it that way.
Now, now, that’s a little harsh on my part, so I apologize. I’m sure there are some fine people with a different ideology than your humble blogger that want to make California as good as they can. Unfortunately, they’re going to be run out of the race by standard Leftist assholes like Katie Porter, Tom Steyer, and Xavier Becerra. And if Fartsmell…I mean Swalwell hadn’t dropped out, he would have been in the running still. Good fucking luck, kids.
On the Republican side, we have 12 candidates, but the only 2 who seem to have any momentum are Steve Hilton and Chad Bianco. The former was with Fox News for a time as well as a political advisor in England, and the latter is the sheriff of Riverside County. Both have expressed support for President Donald Trump, which makes them less popular in California than having a job.
That leaves 25 candidates including a Libertarian, a member of the Peace and Freedom Party, and the rest being from that new political party, No Party Preference. That’s 23 candidates, almost as many as the Democrats.
Okay, maybe it’s me, but when you have that many candidates not wanting to align themselves with a particular party, that’s a bad fucking sign. Granted, you can’t swing a dead cat and not hit a Democrat in California, but when there are enough people who say “I’d rather be unaffiliated than be a Democrat” that’s a sign your major party is fucking up!
And if that’s not bad enough for the Democrats, Leftists are worried that…a Republican might get a chance to be Governor! And with recent polling data, they have every right to be. At this rate, Democrats may be lucky to lose, but something tells me a Democrat will get one if not both of the spots, mainly because the voters believe any Democrat will do a better job at keeping California the fucked up anti-utopia it currently is than anyone else. And considering these are the same dumbfucks who elected Eric Fartsmell…Swalwell in the first place and would have voted for him again if his sexual scandals didn’t get exposed, there is a non-zero chance a Democrat will find a way to get to the finals.
I was thinking of doing a Extremist Makeover about the California gubernatorial race, but there’s a problem: there’s no fucking way I can fix it. The only thing I can say is I’m glad I’m not a registered voter out there. Not only would I have to find the least horrible candidate, but there’s a good chance I’d get taxed for it.
If you’re in California and you’re reading this, I’m sorry. Try to find a way out soon.
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Leftist Lexicon Word of the Week
Although it’s still a fairly recent series of events, we’ve already seen some weird shit surrounding the situation in Iran. After months of saying President Donald Trump wouldn’t do anything about Iran, Leftists woke up to find the President posting on Truth Social threatening to bomb Iran into the Stone Age, which would actually be an upgrade for them. This got their collectivist panties in a bunch and tried to say the President threatened genocide, which is a war crime.
So, saying you’re going to destroy a civilization that wants us dead without actually doing it is horrible?
Anyway, while the Left was trying to get another No Kings protest march organized, the US and Iran agreed to a two-week ceasefire. Of course, the Left was overjoyed because it allowed them to resurrect one of their favorite acronyms: TACO, which stands for Trump Always Chickens Out.
So, Trump was a war criminal for threatening to attack Iran, but not that he’s not, he’s a coward?
Folks, don’t try to figure out the Left’s logic here because there isn’t any. Instead, sit back and enjoy a deep dive into a shallow concept.
TACO
What the Left thinks it means – a way to mock the President for never following through on his grandiose threats
What it really means – a half-baked concept popular only within Leftist circles
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again because otherwise this is going to be a short Lexicon entry: Leftists are masters at using language to further their goals. It doesn’t hurt that they have the bulk of the media willing to do their bidding, mind you, but you get the idea.
The concept of TACO came into being in May 2025 when Leftists started mocking President Trump for his habit of making threats and then backing down. They went so far as to offer free tacos near Republican National Committee Headquarters. As you might expect, it went over as well as Bill Cosby Appreciation Night at a NOW conference.
Just a quick safety tip: stay away from the pudding.
With the predictability of a Hannah Gadsby comedy special being unfunny, the Left recycled this bad idea to criticize his words against Iran. But unlike last time, there’s been some pushback from Democrat politicians who took a more realistic, but still critical, approach. When you lose members of your own side…
Not that it’s going to stop the usual dumbasses from making political hay out of this turn of events, mind you. The Left thinks TACO has staying power, so they’ll keep using it whenever they think it will make Trump look indecisive and/or cowardly.
It’s at this point I feel obligated to step in and give some advice to our Leftist fiends…I mean friends. Quit while you’re still behind. This TACO shit isn’t working. Oh, sure, it’s good for a laugh with your hivemind mates, but it’s not resonating with anyone else.
Not to mention, it makes no sense given how you were telling everyone Trump was going to commit genocide. If you knew he was going to chicken out, why go to the trouble of pissing yourselves in terror?
Simple. They wanted to create a no-win situation for Trump.
In the Leftist hivemind, Trump couldn’t win. If he bombed Iran as he said, he would be guilty of war crimes (according to them) and be subject to expulsion via the 25th Amendment. If he didn’t, they could say he was too much of a coward to go through with it.
Then, Trump announced a temporary ceasefire. That kinda put a kink in the Left’s Kobayashi Maru and left them looking like Kobayashi Maroons in the process. Then again, this was utterly predictable from the people who cheered when President Barack Obama gave pallets of cash to Iran with the understanding they wouldn’t use it to develop nuclear weapons, but not doing jack shit to ensure they wouldn’t. In spite of their protestations to the contrary, Leftists are dumbasses when it comes to foreign policy. And domestic policy. And economic policy. And environmental policy.
Come to think of it, are Leftists good at anything other than being utterly wrong all the time?
As it turns out, they’re great at reanimating the corpse of ideas that didn’t work the first time around. At least they believe in recycling.
The problem is TACO isn’t worth reanimating. It’s possible to criticize the President’s Iran policy (which seems to be “blow up their shit and let God sort out the oil rights”) without a) using an acronym that doesn’t move the needle, b) being devoid of any legitimate criticism, and c) making yourselves look like assholes.
It should be self-evident, but since it’s Leftists we’re dealing with here, I have to spell it out for them. Being reflexively anti-Trump isn’t a policy, let alone a winning one. Whenever you define yourself by what your opponent is doing, you’re telling potential voters “we got nothing.” You actually have to stand for something other than not liking what the other guy/gal (still 2 genders, kids) wants to do.
Let me put it this way. A dude who had a stroke has become the sanest one in your party, and you want to get rid of him. How’d that work out for you in 2024?
Considering we don’t have President Queen Kamala the Appointed, that should give you the answer.
And TACO ain’t going to make the midterms turn out any better. Although traditionally the party out of Presidency picks up seats in midterm elections, it hasn’t always been a done deal. Only at times when voters feel the President has royally screwed the pooch does that happen and in recent years, it seems voters are okay enough with the way President Trump handles things to give Republicans another shot at Congressional leadership, even though it’s been as successful as a wet t-shirt contest in Amish country.
Maybe it’s time to let TACO go. You could always switch things up and try some other food. I know! Chinese food!
Oooh. Sorry, Representative Swalwell. Too soon?
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Extremist Makeover – No Kings Edition
In case you missed it (and if you’re like me, it’s because you had stuff to do), the latest round of No Kings protests happened recently, and in spite of the semi-impressive numbers (1 out of 50 Americans allegedly attended), it still hasn’t caught on with the general population.
That’s where I come in!
Since redressing grievances with the federal government is protected by the First Amendment and since this little writing gig of mine is dependent upon a healthy First Amendment, I have a soft spot for the No Kings protests. And, no, it’s not my head, so you can stop asking. As easy as it would be to sit back and mock them (not that I’m going to stop, mind you), I want to help make No Kings more viable.
The first thing that jumps out at me is the the messaging. You’re protesting people you think are acting like kings in a country that defied a king and has never had one since. And your allies across the pond in England? They actually have a king, so they had to switch the message to No Tyrants as to not offend the Royal Family. After all, they command the military. Not exactly a good outcome.
With this decided difference of message, it’s difficult to have one voice. Further complicating matters is the duplicity of the message itself. The same people coming out against the Trump Administration acting like a king or dictator are the ones who said “Rule me harder, Daddy” under the Biden Administration during COVID. So, you’re not really No Kings so much as No Kings We Don’t Agree With.
Yeah, so there’s a pretty big issue there, but one that isn’t impossible to resolve with a little creativity. No Kings We Don’t Agree With is a little wordy for a bumper sticker, so we need to come up with something shorter and catchier, something that gets the point across consistently. Something like…oh, I don’t know…the Anti National Tyranny Initiative, or ANTI. Just think of it! You can have ANTI t-shirts, ANTI bumper stickers, ANTI coffee mugs, ANTI water bottles, and so on! If you can think it, you can ANTI it!
In fact, you can lead a whole ANTI life if you put your minds to it! Be ANTI everything if you’d like! In fact, you could even have a spokesperson you could call Auntie ANTI! And when someone asks you what you believe in, you can just say “We’re ANTI.”
Just rolls off the tongue, doesn’t it?
We have the slogan and marketing point down, and even a lot of the messaging taken care of, so now we need to make it more popular. Visibility isn’t an issue because you have wall-to-wall media coverage (at least until Trump leaves office and a Democrat gets into power at some point). In order to attract more people, the most logical step is to stop being so exclusionary.
The Left has a litmus test problem, namely the fact they have a litmus test in the first place. Anyone who wants to play in their reindeer games has to go through a litany of loyalty tests before they’re officially considered one of the clan. Then, if they deviate even one micron from the hivemind, no matter how much sense it makes to do so, they get excommunicated and turned into a pariah.
And that’s how you guys got President Donald Trump. Twice.
There are plenty of people not exactly enamored with Trump or MAGA (including your humble correspondent), but the way you treat us doesn’t exactly make us want to join you. There’s an old saying, “You attract more flies with honey than with vinegar,” but you’re not even putting out the vinegar. Instead, you’ve gone right to the sulfuric acid and then wondering why no one’s enjoying what you have to offer. You have to temper the rhetoric so it becomes more universal in nature. Your movement won’t grow if you keep preaching to the same people over and over again. The echo is nice, but it’s prohibitive to growth.
“But we got 1 out of every 50 people!” you say. Yeah. That’s a whopping 2% of the population. By comparison, in the 2024 election, over 73% of the voting-age population actually voted. Although the popular vote was closer than 2%, I’m gonna go out on a limb and say the 2% you’re getting at your marches is already on your side, so it’s not going to swing that many elections.
You need new blood, not old people traveling from protest to protest on a bus.
Another issue you have is transparency. You’re already seen as more fake than Joe Biden’s hair, and your lack of honesty when it comes to your funding and organization isn’t helping. You have two options: own it, or divest yourselves of it. Since you’re not likely to do the latter, just come out and admit “Yeah, we’re as grassroots as Astroturf.” Then, list who is funding your protests and let the chips fall where they may. If you’re a puppet for our good friend Uncle George Soros, say it with your whole chest, and the same goes for any other Leftist organization who funnels money to these protests. It will cost you some potential members, but the honesty might gain you more respect than you have now.
And right now, No Kings is getting its butt kicked by used car salesmen in the popularity arena. On the plus side, you’re still leagues ahead of Congress.
Finally, you need to stop being so hypocritical when it comes to fighting the tyranny you see. Not only do you look foolish when you call one side tyrannical while staying silent when your side does the same stuff. If you really are against people acting like kings and tyrants, it has to be all or nothing. Start looking at the COVID restrictions under Biden and Democrat governors. If you don’t see tyranny, you shouldn’t be protesting because it’s clear you don’t know what it is. Once you have that down, call it all out, Democrat and Republican, liberal and conservative, The Captain and Tennille.
I do have a few other suggestions, but this should get you started. Good luck in turning the No Kings experiment into an ANTI experience!
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Papal Fallacies
Pope Leo’s message the other week on war was appallingly inaccurate and not at all Biblically sound. But this is normal for the Bishop of Rome and his Roman Catholic Church.
It’s hard to even begin because so much is wrong with that message. But we have to start somewhere. So here we go. First and foremost, Jesus doesn’t answer prayers, the Father does. And believers don’t pray to Jesus. Prayers go to God the Father.
It is not Biblically accurate to address prayers to anyone but God the Father. As His Son Jesus taught the disciples how to pray and they taught the rest of us through the Word.
One does not pray to Jesus, the Holy Spirit, Mary, Joseph, any Saint, or anyone but God the Father. It is blasphemy to do any other prayers. Saints don’t intercede on our behalf. Another Roman Catholic falsehood. Prayers are always asked for in the name of Jesus but He is never prayed to directly.
It seems that, in a way, Pope Leo was correct. Jesus doesn’t hear or answer the prayers of warmongers. Because he doesn’t hear or answer the prayers of anyone. They go to the Father.
To say that God doesn’t hear or answer the prayers of “warmongers”, aka soldiers, officers, and national leaders, and those engaged in war is completely false as well.
The Old Testament is full of examples of God’s people going to war and praying for victory. Many times God answered these prayers and gave the people the victory they desired. Other times He did not. And these were not just wars of defense, some were wars of aggression. Perhaps if Pope Leo were to actually READ the Bible he would know these facts about God Almighty.
So the conclusion is obvious, God is not against war as a whole. Peace we know is a preferable path but it is not always obtainable. Wars are sometimes necessary and God does hear our prayers about it.
Leftist Lexicon Word of the Week
Say what you will about the man (and believe me I have), President Donald Trump has impacted the world on many levels, not the least of which being modern journalism. From the first utterance of “You’re fake news,” it was clear Trump was not going to be as cozy with the press as previous Presidents had been.
You know, when they weren’t calling Republicans Nazis, that is.
After the 2024 election, you could tell things were starting to shift. Almost a decade of parroting everything anti-Trump netted the media popularity and trust lower than that of used car salesmen. And to you used car salesmen reading this, I apologize to you for comparing you to the press.
Lately, this shift towards more balance reporting has the Leftists in the media (but, I repeat myself) fretting about “partisan hacks” taking over newsrooms, which means it gives me a chance to dive back into the muck that is modern news media. So, yay, I guess?
partisan hacks
What the Left thinks it means – conservatives skewing hard news reporting so they favor Trump and the GOP
What it really means – Leftist projection writ large
To say the media have a Leftist bias is like saying Hunter Biden kinda like drugs; accurate, but not nearly as thorough as it could be. Sure, they go out of their way to set up journalistic standards to let the world know they don’t root for one side or the other, but those standards are ignored more frequently than Hunter Biden ignores drug possession, gun, and tax laws.
Yes, I know I just used a Hunter Biden reference, but it bears repeating. Much like the fact the media lean more to the Left than a runner trying to make it back to first base to avoid a pick-off maneuver. Oh, and on a related note, the Chicago Cubs have not been mathematically eliminated from the post season as of this writing, but give it a week.
The Left’s control over the media lasted over a week and stretched into, oh, decades. You couldn’t swing a dead cat in media circles without hitting a Leftist, although I wouldn’t recommend it because it’s a dead fucking cat. Anyone to the right of Leon Trotsky was kept more in the closet than a gay agoraphobic hermit dodging an IRS audit. That meant only the Left’s position got promoted and anything outside of that was mocked as absurd because, to the ones in power, it was.
Even after conservative voices started being heard through talk radio, Fox News, and the Internet, the Left couldn’t give up the power it had amassed being the only voice in town. Soon, the powers that be decided to no longer hide the fact they were DNC stenographers with bylines, but openly embrace it. And if you thought reporting sucked before then, you were in for an unpleasant surprise, like having several root canals without anesthesia while Dylan Mulvaney recreates every episode of “Days of Girlhood” as it’s happening.
Oh, and your dentist? The Marquis de Sade.
With their grip on the narrative tighter than a little black dress made out of cling wrap, the Left made sure only their side got the prime gigs. And that, boys and girls, is how Taylor Lorenz still has a job in the media. This level of gatekeeping not only created a nearly impregnable echo chamber, but also an environment where they got to call the shots on what is considered “real journalism,” which was filtered down into journalism schools to create a never-ending pipeline of Leftist parrots wiling to squawk back the talking point of the day to fit in and maybe get invited to parties where other Leftists gathered to squawk back the talking point of the day.
It’s like Hell with a cash bar.
The problem with this, aside from having to hang out with Leftists for any length of time, is the gatekeepers strayed too far from what journalism actually is. During my lifetime on this planet, I saw the press go from the Fourth Estate questioning everything and tracking down the truth to being lapdogs for a President whose mental capacity was more diminished than Joe Biden’s. Which is really bad considering the President they were being lapdogs for was Joe Biden.
That’s why the media’s fear of “partisan hacks” taking over newsrooms and cable news outlets rings hollow to me. The partisan hacks were already there, and they lack even a scintilla of self awareness necessary to make the connection. Of course, they’ll come back and talk about journalistic integrity and standards they have to follow, but it’s all an act. If I had to choose between a room full of monkeys with typewriters and the entire MSNOW organization as to who could produce a straight news piece first, I’d go with the monkeys. Not only would they be more likely to accomplish the goal, but the room would be less covered in shit.
That’s not to say some news sources aren’t trying to right the journalistic ship. Prior to the 2024 election, the Los Angeles Times and the Washington Post both declined to endorse a Presidential candidate, which pissed off a lot of Leftists, partially because they felt the newspapers should have endorsed Queen Kamala the Appointed, and partially because they realized they were still paying for a subscription to the Los Angeles Times and the Washington Post. More recently, CBS hired Bari Weiss to oversee their news division, which pissed off Leftists even more. Even the Leftist-friendly CNN made editorial changes to try to be closer to the political center, which pissed off Leftists.
Hmmm…there seems to be a pattern forming. First, Leftists getting pissed, although to be fair that’s their natural state. More important is their reaction to even a slight move towards the center (i.e. where journalism should be). This goes back to how Leftists hate to lose control of the narrative. Once you attempt to get a neutral view, the Left loses the power to get you to think the way they do. Then, you might…dare I say it…make up your own mind once you find out how full of shit the Left is!
That’s why the Left is trying so hard to get people to believe any attempt to reestablish journalistic neutrality threatens the profession as a whole. And the best way to do that? Call anyone involved a partisan hack. Well, from where I sit (in my comfy recliner in the living room as it turns out), the real partisan hacks are the ones bitching about partisan hacks taking over newsrooms. To borrow a line from “Send In the Clowns” (as perfect a song as any given the subject matter), “Don’t bother. They’re here.”
Instead of being introspective and realizing the role they’ve had in fostering a healthy distrust of the media, Leftists prefer poisoning the well, posting public temper tantrums that make most toddlers look like Solomon, and cheering when things go south. But let me put a finer point on this. The Left want you to get only one side of any story, even if that side is more out of step with reality than Jasmine Crockett on an acid trip. And they will stop at nothing to prevent you from being fully informed. Instead of doubling, tripling, and quadrupling down on their positions, maybe they should look back at what happened with Nick Sandmann when the Left decided to spin a narrative.
And I’m sure he’ll get back to you once he’s done counting the money he got from you motherfuckers.
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In the Meme Time
Oh boy, we have a good one for this installment. So here it is:
Take a read for a moment and then we’ll dive right into this one. Unlike a lot of Leftist memes, this doesn’t have an ounce of truth to it. Save for showing the true nature of Leftists themselves. This one is complete wickedness.
***
Kyle Rittenhouse and Alex Pretti are not the same. Different motives. Different set of circumstances. And a host of other differences. They simply cannot logically be compared with one another.
Kyle was defending property rights and lives from a violent mob. While Alex was part of a violent mob willfully impeding justice, and he had a history of doing so.
They were both armed. But that is the only similarity between the two men and their actions. Kyle defended himself from an aggressive violent mob. Firing warning shots before he ever had to shot his assailants. And when he was confronted by the police. He surrendered his weapon and followed police instructions. Not doing so would have led to his death.
Alex on the other hand did not. He attacked and provoked the police and he drew his weapon on them. He too knew that he could get shot and killed but he did it any way. He wanted to be a martyr. His actions lead to the confrontation and to his death.
No one believes that Alex Pretti deserved to die. No one deserves such a fate. It was a tragic, yet preventable death.
As for the 2nd Amendment. They were both in their Constitutional rights to be armed. Yet Alex chose suicide by cop instead of life.
***
First of all let’s be 100% clear here. There is NO right to protest. The right in the Constitution is to peacefully assemble and that wasn’t happening in Minnesota.
Again here the Left is trying to compare very different events in the hope that you are an idiot. The events of January 6th 2021 are vastly different from the events in Minnesota the day Renee Good lost her life. I hate to repeat myself but it must be done. No one deserves to die. Renee’s death could have been prevented by Renee herself. But like Alex, she was a known instigator and came looking for a confrontation with law enforcement.
Her lesbian lover was filming the entire thing and was outside of their vehicle. She is also responsible for Renee’s tragic death. Renee Good chose to commit suicide by cop. She wanted a filmed confrontation with ICE and she got it.
***
The term you are looking for is “illegal aliens.” Not “undocumented criminals.” Their criminal history is very much documented. The little boy in the bunny hat was never detained by ICE. The evidence is very clear in this case. The boy’s father was a wanted criminal and fled the area leaving the boy behind.
What ICE did was ensured that no harm came to the child that was abandoned by his criminal father. The streets were a chaotic mess with the illegal protesting and mobs attacking law enforcement. Protecting the child was the right thing to do in this case.
To answer the question, of course this is fully about illegal aliens, their arrest and deportation. Age is not a factor in someone’s legal status, children can be illegal aliens too. And all illegal aliens are criminals. They broke the law by entering the country unlawfully. Others have committed additional crimes and some very serious ones.
***
No one is being executed in the streets. That is bearing false witness. Executions are not happening in the streets of the United States. To see executions in the streets go to Iran and other Leftist regimes.
Alex Pretti and Renee Good were not executed in the streets. Their deaths are a tragic loss of life. But they died because they broke multiple laws and willfully agitated the situation to the point of violence that was ended with their deaths.
Tragic but not at all against the doctrine of pro-life.
***
The truth of each of these points is acceptable. The Leftist lies about them are not. Truth can be tragic so it shouldn’t ever be sugar coated. And it should never be altered with falsehoods and wickedness.
Principles are always about truths. And we hold these truths to be self evident. Cut through the hype and toss out the media propaganda. Truth remains. Clear and principled.
The MAGA movement believes that there is one race, human. And that all human life is sacred. MAGA also believes in Law and Order. All of the issues pointed out here could have been avoided if people simply followed the laws of the United States.
The only bullshit is the Leftist propaganda and lies that distort facts and conceal the truth in this meme. Those that buy such Leftist bullshit either hate the United States and want to see it burn or they are just part of the Left’s army of useful idiots.