I’m sorry there wasn’t a Leftist Lexicon entry this week. There were so many topics and not enough time to devote to delving into them. I don’t want to do a half-assed job of it, considering that’s what I do already. If I half-ass my usual half-ass job, you’re only getting a quarter-ass, and that’s not good enough. If I’m going to half-ass something, I’m going to half-ass it all the way, baby
To make up for the lack of a Lexicon entry, I’m bringing back one of my Quick Hits segments where I give my opinions on topics that are interesting (at least to me), but may not be able to be developed into a full blog post. Hope you enjoy!
GOP on Abortion – The Left has been talking about how Republicans can craft a winning message on abortion now that Roe v Wade has been relegated back to the states. And from what I’m hearing, some Republicans want the next President to do something on the federal level to protect babies in the womb.
Ummm…that’s what Roe v Wade was, kids. The Supreme Court just sent abortion rights back to the states and you asshats want to bring it back to the federal level? That’s proving what the pro-baby-death…I mean reproductive rights crowd said about you right. Don’t give them such an easy W.
The War in Ukraine – It’s still going on, and we’re still on the hook for billions of dollars until, well, we get tired of being Ukraine’s sugar daddy. People are starting to figure out there’s more to the Ukraine-Russia conflict than democracy. Namely, a lot of money for politicians who would love nothing more than to keep Ukraine in the fight if only to hide the covert business dealings.
During the second Gulf War, Leftists chanted “No blood for oil.” Now these same Leftists are practically chanting “All the blood for 10% for the Big Guy.”
UAW Strike – The big three automakers watched as members of the United Auto Workers union walked off the jobs due to the companies not meeting union demands. Among the union’s demands were a 40% pay raise over 4 years with an immediate raise of 20%. As someone who hasn’t seen more than a single-digit raise in, oh, ever, a 20% hike is impressive…in its stupidity.
Look, I know the Big Three made record profits, but that doesn’t make it automatically yours, regardless of what Puddin’ Head Joe tells you. Before you start holding out your hands expecting the Big Three to shower you with money, think about the expenditures side of the ledger. If I make $1 billion in profit and I spend $900 million of that to expand my business or make necessary adjustments to existing worksites, the profit side goes down a bunch. How are the Big Three spending these record profits? Until you can answer that question, don’t look for me on the picket lines.
Another union demand was a cost of living increase to match inflation. You know, the inflation created in large part by the idiots they helped elect in 2020?
And speaking of one of those idiots…
the Biden impeachment – Speaker of the House Kevin McCarthy announced the initiation of an inquiry into whether Puddin’ Head Joe broke the law via influence peddling through Joe’s crackhead son, Hunter. (More on him later.) Well, the Left broke out the “sham impeachment” talk early and often, stating there was no evidence Puddin’ Head Joe broke the law. And they’re right…if you ignore all the evidence that literally exists.
But I will have to say the Left knows what a sham impeachment looks like, considering they did two of them to former President Donald Trump.
gun rights in New Mexico – After recent shootings in her state, New Mexico Governor Michelle Lujan Grisham issued an executive order banning the right to carry, citing a public health emergency. As you might imagine, this went over as well as the Botulism Special at Chipotle. Here’s how fucked up it got: Rep. Ted Lieu and poster boy for gun control David Hogg said Lujan Grisham was full of shit.
Since her initial fuck-up and subsequent doubling down, Lujan Grisham has amended her original order to restrict the right to carry only in public parks and playgrounds. And she vowed to keep looking for a way to make her fuck-up legal.
I’d wish you luck, Madam Governor, but I really don’t want to.
Elon Musk and Starlink – In their quest to make themselves look even more like their party mascot, the Left let their hate boner for Elon Musk get the better of them again as it relates to the Russia-Ukraine war. Seems there’s a groundswell of Leftists calling out Musk for…not letting Ukraine use his technology for their military gain. That bastard!
While the Left keeps trying to make the case Musk should be arrested for not being Ukraine’s bitch, they’re missing a pretty important concept: it’s his fucking toy! Last time I checked, we still had the right to refuse service in America, and since Starlink is specifically for residential internet use, Musk rightly said no when Ukraine asked to use it for military use. Whenever the government tries to force you to use a product or service, it winds up being a legal battle down the line, one the Left tends to lose.
Can you say “Obamacare” and “mask mandates”? I knew you could.
Muslims and the LBGTQIAABCDEFGHOWMANYMOREFUCKINGLETTERSAREWEGOINGTOADD+ community – The gay rights community has found itself a new opponent to add to the list of the opponents they already have: Muslims. News reports from across the country show more and more Muslims are standing up to the “Gay Mafia” and refusing to knuckle under to their demands. Now, I’m not ready to start praying to Allah, but I have to wonder if the Left ever saw this coming. I mean, it’s not like Muslims have strict religious doctrine surrounding homosexuahhhhhhh yes they do. And it’s not like it’s hidden, either. Even the most permissive Islamic sects aren’t keen on gay rights.
Apparently, those “Coexist” bumper stickers are as deep as the Left cares to go on this topic.
the Hunter Biden blues – Yep, First Fuck-Up Hunter Biden was finally brought up on federal gun charges after only getting a judicial slap on the wrist for what amounts to tax fraud. Of course, if someone from the IRS wants to show me where hookers and blow are tax deductible, I’d be willing to hear him/her out. Even the staunchest pro-gun control Leftists are saying the actual actions Hunter took aren’t usually prosecuted and, thus, are no big deal.
Let that dumbfuckery sink in for a moment. These fucknuckles are the ones who fought for these laws to be put on the books in the first place, but now that the President’s son is the one caught breaking the law, it’s become a race to see who can come up with the shittiest takes to minimize the damage it will do to Puddin’ Head Joe’s reelection campaign in 2024. And without going into too much detail, rest assured the Left sent their best to come up with the worst takes.
If this doesn’t prove the gun control side is motivated by everything but actual safety, nothing will.
a Tale of Four Titties – Politics and sex go hand in, well you know, and 2023 is no different. On the Left, we have Democrat candidate for the Virginia statehouse Susanna Gibson who offered users of a website called Chaturbate the opportunity to see her perform sexually explicit acts for money. On the Right, we have Rep. Lauren Boebert who was caught on surveillance camera getting frisky with her date at a performance of “Beetlejuice.”
Guess which one the Left and the media (but I repeat myself) have been talking about more. Spoiler Alert: it’s Boebert.
Regardless of where you come down on the political spectrum, we’re coming into an age where this type of sexual shit is going to become more prevalent, and being prudish (or faux prudish for political means) isn’t going to make people act better. The sooner we come to terms with the fact adults like to fuck other adults, the sooner we can move onto more important issues, like how to unfuck our economy. Grow up, people!
And last, but certainly least…
Meet the Press boycott – It was a new era on television, as Kristen Welker took over the failing political news/talk show “Meet the Press” this week. And who was one of her guests? Donald Trump.
Well, let’s just say the Left wasn’t happy Welker gave the former President a platform by which he could…talk about his ongoing 2024 Presidential campaign. See, Leftists (who are totes pro-freedom and not at all fascist) have been trying to find a way to disqualify Trump from running again, and they saw the sit-down interview as a slap to their collectivist faces. And now, these Leftists are going to boycott the show…even if all 14 faithful viewers won’t notice the difference.
And if the power goes off in the coma section of the hospital, that number is gonna drop hard.
Well, I hope you enjoyed this brief look at the wonderful wacky world of American politics, law, and culture. See you soon!
In a move that surprised, well, no one, California Representative Adam Schiff was censured by the US House of Representatives for his role in perpetuating Russiagate. You remember Russiagate, don’t you kids? That investigation into whether Russia helped Donald Trump win the 2016 Presidential election based on evidence flimsier than a balsa wood kitchen table?
Of course, Leftists were furious at the censure, but then coped by saying the censure would guarantee he would win a Senate seat, as well as it made him more powerful now than he was before.
And I wish I were making that last part up.
While Leftists were turning him into Obi Wan Kenobi, Schiff turned this censure into a fundraising effort because reasons. With all of the talk around the Representative, it seems fitting he should be the latest Lexicon entry.
What the Left thinks it means – an honest patriot standing up to Donald Trump and his minions
What it really means – a guy so full of shit he could fertilize Death Valley and the Sahara Desert several times over
During the Trump Administration, Adam Schiff went from a barely-there Congressional figure to a major player within Leftist circles, mainly because he had the balls to stand up to Donald Trump. And by balls, I mean eyeballs. And here I thought Mantenna was just an action figure from the She-Ra toy line, but here we are.
To say Schiff had a hate boner for Trump is an understatement of Rosie O’Donnell at an all you can eat buffet proportions. (I used Rosie here in celebration of Pride Month. You’re welcome, LBGTQIDUDIYRSVPUFOABCBBDCCRKISSELO+ community.) If anybody could make up…I mean uncover dirt on Donald Trump’s dealings with Russia, Schiff would be like a bloodhound. A bloodhound with Marty Feldman-like eyes, but a bloodhound nonetheless.
There was one tiny problem, though: the allegations of collusion between the Trump Campaign and Russia were bullshit. But Schiff couldn’t let a little thing like a lack of actual proof stop him! After all, if he couldn’t produce the goods, he would be a liar, wouldn’t he? So, he did what any self-respecting Leftist would do and lied some more!
This next part has become the millstone around Schiff’s pencil neck. He claimed there was “ample evidence” of the collusion that was “in plain sight.” Yet, when pressed to provide this evidence, Schiff acted like the dog ate his homework. Even as one of the dipshits running the first Trump impeachment based around stuff even law clerks could argue their way out of in a court of law, Schiff maintained he had the proof.
As of this writing, no such proof has ever been presented.
And this is the asshat the Left is calling an honest broker? Granted, it’s the same kind of defense they put up for Eric “I Slept With a Chinese Spy and All I Got Was Removed From House Committees” Swalwell.
Which brings us to an interesting problem for the Left: calling out liars. After years of demanding people call out Trump for lying (which is a 25/8 job because 24/7 just ain’t enough), the Left are suddenly okay with someone lying to Congress about the former President. Remember, kids, if Leftists didn’t have double standards, they wouldn’t have standards at all…not that you’d notice, mind you. As long as their team lies about the right people (i.e. anyone to the right of Ivan “I Have To Go” Trotsky), it’s for the right reasons. But lie about the wrong people (i.e. them) and Leftists will go at you like you abused their pet cat. They’ll throw the Library of Congress at you!
And most modern Republicans sit there and take it because they’re playing by a different set of rules, rules that neuter them politically to the point they’re so afraid of offending the electorate (who really aren’t paying that much attention to the details) that they will allow Leftists to lie about them constantly. How do you think Media Matters stays in business? I mean aside from generous donations from our buddy Uncle George.
It’s in this environment where Schiff is at his best. When he can lie with impunity because he’s on the winning side of Congressional elections, he goes full Super Sayan. But when he’s on the wrong end of the election cycle, he cries like a little boy who skinned his knee riding his bike. Seems he doesn’t like it when the shit he flings gets flung back at him.
It’s also in this environment where Leftists are the most vulnerable when it comes to Schiff. By going all in on his allegations, it becomes a “ride or die” situation. Either they keep pushing the narrative even after there are more holes in it than a Swiss cheese factory in the crossfire of a gang war, or they throw Schiff to the wolves (which are mostly toothless lapdogs in bed with the Left, but the point remains the same). Since Schiff has built up such a cult of personality around himself, Leftists fear the backlash from the latter, so they go all in on Schiffamania.
Here’s where the vulnerability lies. All it takes is for House Republicans to call Schiff’s bluff. (A pipe dream these days, but a man can dream.) Demand he produce the evidence he claims to have. If he’s telling the truth and didn’t disclose this information during the January 6th Commission, he knowingly withheld evidence from an active investigation. If he’s lying (a safer bet), then he lied to Congress and the nation. And not just on the floor of the House, mind you. He repeated the lie on social media, on TV shows, and in print. Even though a Representative can’t be arrested for lying while conducting official duties, I’m gonna go out on a limb and say being on CNN isn’t really a Congressional duty. If anything, it might be considered torture.
In either case, Schiff is fucked, and not in the good way.
Not that the Left cares, mind you. They want Donald Trump punished by any means necessary, even if it undermines the rule of law in the process. But it’s this single-mindedness that will eventually backfire. At some point, the Left will not be able to control the narrative nor the legislative might to enforce it, which opens them up to a universe of hurt. Adam Schiff’s censure sets the precedent for it, and can be used against other Leftists, like Swalwell, Ilhan Omar, the Socialist Socialite, and plenty of others.
And the best part? The Left made it all possible through their political circle jerk to take down Donald Trump. Good job, Leftists!
As for Adam Schiff, he’s basically a fourth string quarterback put in the game because the first three QBs are all injured, the cheerleaders don’t know how to run the offense, and the coach hates furries, so the mascot’s out of the running. But since he’s the guy, his team has to support him and cheer every inch gained as though it were a touchdown. Then, after he fumbles, throws interceptions, and gets sacked more often than Idaho potatoes, he becomes more of a liability than an asset. Democrats should distance themselves from Schiff sooner rather than later.
And Schiff? He’s 3/5 of an asset, and the -et don’t count.
Clear your calendars, kids! The hottest new piece of literature just dropped and it’s going to be a scorcher! I’m not referring to any of the 498 books Stephen King will release this week. Instead, I’m referring to the long-awaited Durham Report.
After the initial shock of discovering Leftists had their fingerprints all over the Russian collusion allegations against former President Donald Trump, the Left has done into damage control. Some said it failed to deliver any real results, while others went so far as to say it was a flop that opened the door for future misuse. Some have gone so far as to give analysis that make the whole investigation look like one big boondoggle.
Which means the truth is far more damaging than the Left wants to admit. Oh, and that it’s this week’s Lexicon entry.
the Durham Report
What the Left thinks it means – an expensive bomb of an investigation that lead to nothing and should be called out for repeating Trump’s lies
What it really means – the report the Left wishes the Mueller Report could have been
For those who are interested in the report, here it is.
For the Reader’s Digest Condensed Version, here it is.
– Leftists within the alphabet agencies attempted to paint Donald Trump as a Russian asset in 2016 at the direction of Hillary Clinton.
– There was no evidence of Russian collusion.
– The aforementioned alphabet agencies knew it, but proceeded with an investigation anyway because Hillary.
– Leftists had actual ties with Russia during the time they were attempting to make Donald Trump look like a Russian asset.
– Leftists never thought they would get caught.
So, here we are. After 4 years and $6.5 million spent, the Left is finally worried about a partisan investigation. I mean, the Mueller investigation (which was shadier than the hygiene practices at Uncle Filthy’s Botulism Emporium and Discount Slaughterhouse) only cost $32 million! How dare Republicans spend $6.5 million!
By the way, these same dickweeds complaining about the waste of money with the Durham Report are okay with sending Ukraine $24.9 billion for a war where we’re not even one of the direct participants. Granted, that figure was from January of this year, so the current number is going to be higher than Willie Nelson hanging out with Snoop Dogg in Amsterdam on 4/20.
So, let’s cut out the bullshit about the cost and look at results. The primary result is the Durham Report exposed a real conspiracy of dunces with the sole purpose of making Donald Trump look bad. First off, he does a good job of that on his own, so the Left didn’t really need to help. Second, Hillary Clinton has a sordid (and utterly mock-worthy) history with Russia.
Now, Leftists are going to say I’m using a logical fallacy called “poisoning the well” as a means to prop up Durham after a failure of a report. That would be true…if there wasn’t so much evidence out there. And it’s information the Left doesn’t want to get out because it unravels a lot of their squawking points over the past few years.
The most obvious bullshit talking point destroyed is the alleged Russian collusion with Trump. The Left needs this point to be true because it’s the only way they can explain why Trump beat Clinton in 2016. That is, if you overlook how unpopular Hillary is. She lost to an unknown Illinois Senator in 2008, for fuck’s sake! And he was only slightly more competent than she was! Not exactly a ringing endorsement of Hillary’s popularity as a political figure.
Then, 2016 happened.
From before Donald Trump took the Oath of Office to today, the Left not only conspired to slime him in the court of public opinion, but got government agencies involved to make it happen. And even then Hillary lost. Simply put, Hillary Clinton is a political fuck-up aided by other political fuck-ups pretending to be law enforcement. Law enfarcement maybe, but not law enforcement.
Which brings us to another reason the Left has to discredit the Durham Report: it exposes just how broken the FBI has been for years. The Durham Report made a point of not only showing how fucked up the FBI’s involvement in the Russia collusion story, but also offered suggestions on how to fix the problem. Personally, I think we should nuke the site from orbit since it’s the only way to be sure, but that’s probably my inner 80s teen talking.
Once the FBI’s corruption got exposed (again), the Left loses one of the weapons in its arsenal to deal with what they consider unsavory elements. You know, like pro-lifers. In order to retain some semblance of control, the Left needs the FBI, which makes the agency look a lot less credible and will fuel even more calls to investigate just how deep the corruption goes.
I don’t see a down-side here.
Especially when the Left mocked the “Back the Blue” movement while elevating the FBI to near-godlike status. That’s how you know their love of law enforcement is utter bullshit, but it’s also a pretty big tell as to why the Left has a vested interest in protecting the FBI by denigrating the Durham Report.
You know. Poisoning the well?
The Left are also making a big deal of how few convictions came from the Durham Report as compared to the Mueller Report. Although the lack of frog-marching feds is cause for concern, it’s not really that big a deal unless you’re in the business of quantity of justice rather than quality of justice. Some of Mueller’s successes came as a result of shoddy charges and dishonest reporting. Can you say Michael Flynn, boys and girls? I knew you could.
And what’s more? The Mueller Report found no sufficient evidence of collusion with Russia, which was counter to what the Left wanted him to find. The Durham Report confirms this, which is counter to what the Left wanted him to find. Maybe it’s me, but I’m sensing a pattern…
Like the pattern of behavior the Left has when bad news hits their side. First, there’s panic as they try to figure out how to spin the bad news. Second, there’s the spin, where the bad news is turned into good news (often with a good amount of gaslighting). Third, there’s “debate” as people fact-check the Left’s spin and the Left pretends the fact-checks are inaccurate. Fourth, there’s Leftist “fact-checking” which is little more than gaslighting that would make the Hindenburg look like a sparkler. Finally, there’s the call to move on from talking about the bad news because “it’s old news.”
As of this writing, the Left has gone through at least 3 of the steps with the “fact-checking” step about to kick into high gear. Give it a week or so and the “old news” calls will be coming hard and fast.
Unfortunately, we have a lingering question that I don’t think we’re going to get a satisfactory answer to: who’s going to federal fuck-me-in-the-ass prison over this? The way the justice system works now, we’ll be lucky to get the FBI Director’s secretary’s brother’s former college roommate’s cousin’s dog walker’s accountant’s former high school basketball team’s water boy indicted, and if so, it will be for something completely unrelated, like a waaaaaaay overdue library book. The fact Lois Lerner is still on the outside instead of getting 3 hots and a cot in Leavenworth is proof of that. Reports outlining criminal behavior are all well and good, but without action, they’re just words on a page. And if you expect Leftists to join in the accountability mob, I have swamp land in the Arctic Circle I’d love to sell you. In this situation, elections have lack of consequences.
And it’s not like the Republicans have the best track record in following through, either. A big reason why is because a lot of them don’t want to rock the boat too much because then they become targets for the kind of bogus investigations we’ve seen out of the Left so far. And when their dirty laundry gets put out for the world to see, it puts a King Kong sized monkey wrench in their reelection plans. Then again, many of them are in “safe” districts and states, so even if they get caught getting baggies of heroin shoved up their asses by an Asian trans dominatrix named Madame Hung Lo their approval ratings might take a dip of 0.00000000000001% because “the other side is worse.”
As much as I can’t argue that, it doesn’t help the situation. Without a desire to stand up for what is right, our little Constitutional Republic is doing to go the way of Rome. And by that I mean an expensive tourist trap with a kitschy casino counterpart on the Las Vegas strip.
So, like Las Vegas.
Anyway, we need leaders more than ever, men and women willing to buck party lines to do what is right and just. It might take a few election cycles and some “come to Jesus” moments, but if anyone can do it, America can. The Durham Report is the first step on that journey, and we best take it while we can.
Also, it will piss off the Left, so…yay!
You know, I think I’ve been getting a bit ranty with my recent posts, so I wanted to take on a much lighter topic, the Russia/Ukraine War.
By the time you reach this, we will have entered the second year of conflict in that part of the world and, well…we’re kinda in the same place we were when it started. For reasons that still escape me like Houdini, we decided to back Ukraine because..freedom, I guess? And since we had a few trillion dollars lying about from our investment in dumbass ideas and incompetent government officials, we gave it and some of our military hardware to Ukraine.
And…it hasn’t helped out a lot. Well, except if you’re a Ukrainian official with a penchant for owning multiple homes and lavish lifestyles, that is.
Russia hasn’t come away from this war unscathed, though. Not only have they suffered some military losses, but they’ve taken a hit on the world stage and from a public relations standpoint. As of this writing, toenail fungus is more popular than Vladimir Putin and it wasn’t even in the running. At this rate, Walter Mondale circa 1984 is doing better.
So, who’s winning? That depends on who you ask. The Left and the media (but I repeat myself) tell us Ukraine is winning. Twitter is awash with Ukrainian flags and hashtags like #RussiaIsLosing. Some on the Right insist Russia is winning. But the actual answer is…neither side is winning, even with our help.
And I’m still firmly on neither side. Nothing over the past year has swayed me one way or the other. Russia is still an untrustworthy bunch of asshats, Ukraine is still rife with neo-Nazis, and the Left is still trying to fight fascism here while supporting it over there. There are still no white hats, just black hats with PR firms trying to make their side look good.
And we still don’t have an idea of what our endgame is. Is it to weaken Russia? Is it to bring freedom to Ukraine? Is it to waste a lot of money getting involved in a war we have no role in? Who knows?
But what I do know is fighting a proxy war in Ukraine in the hopes the neo-Nazis in charge will like us and the Russians will be weakened to the point of irrelevancy are pipe dreams. We keep making the same mistakes in foreign wars, and thanks to Puddin’ Head Joe, we’ll keep making them because, well, he’s a dumbass.
And we’re on the hook for even more money coming soon to an IRS form near you. Who cares if we have inflation higher than Snoop Dogg in Amsterdam on any day ending in, well, day? Why should we worry about needing to take out a third mortgage for a gallon of gas, but only after taking out a second mortgage to get a dozen eggs? Just shut up and dig deep for the Buy Ukraine a Fourth Vacation House Fund. Ushers will be coming by to mug you as you exit the theater.
And you thought a bucket of popcorn and a Coke were expensive!
If you’re reading this and you’ve chosen a side in the Russia/Ukraine conflict, I’m sorry. The only right play is not to play, but we’ve already past that point of no return, and certainly past the point of no noticeable return on investment.
So, pop open a bottle of your finest tap water, gather your friends together, and toast year 2!
To all of you from all of, well, me, I hope you have a Merry Christmas, Happy Christmas, Happy Hanukkah, Kickin’ Kwanza, Fabulous Festivus, Cool Yule, a Spectacular Solstice, or for those who don’t celebrate anything this time of year, happy Sunday.
And for a number of people who just so happen not to be us, Congress gave them a very generous holiday bonus to the tune of, oh, $1.7 trillion. It was part of an omnibus spending bill whisking its way to President Joe Biden’s desk as of this writing, where there is no doubt he will sign it. Where the doubt lies is whether he’ll sign it in pen or purple crayon.
Another issue not in doubt is your favorite blogger is going to cover it this week. And I will, too!
omnibus spending bill
What the Left thinks it means – a necessary spending bill that helps America and Americans
What it really means – a bill so full of pork Jews and Muslims can’t partake of it for religious reasons
In my lifetime, Congress has always been the home of big spenders, as the National Debt Clock continues to show. More on that later, but I wanted to give you an idea of the numbers we’re dealing with here before giving more details. Plus, it will give you a chance to get a stiff drink or fifty to steel your nerves.
First, let’s dig into the details. Thanks to Senator Rand Paul and Congressman Chip Roy, we have an idea of just what Leftists were telling us were vital expenditures necessary to keep the government from shutting down. Here are a few examples.
– $4.5 billion in COVID Economic Injury Disaster Grants to people who weren’t eligible to get them in the first place
– $1.7 billion for upkeep of federal office buildings not currently in use
– $140 million in COVID funds used to build a spa
– $31.5 million in COVID funds to buy luxury cars
– $3 million on watching ‘roided-up hamsters fight
– $2.1 million to encourage Ethiopians to wear shoes
– $1.1 million to teach mice to binge drink (could have just sent them to college)
– $69 million in overpayments to government contractors for a terminated contract
– $77 million in mismanaged and untracked fuel purchases by the State Department
And so on and so on.
Granted, you could make an argument for some of the spending ($3 million to build a Gandhi museum, almost $500 million to redevelop our hard cider industry, $200,000 for radio spots telling drivers to stop at railroad crossings), but most of it is USDA Certified Lean Bullshit. Out of all the bad financial decisions that makes Arthur Andersen look like Warren Buffett, possibly the worst was almost $120,000 going towards…and I wish I was making this up…a grant to research whether Thanos could actually snap his fingers while wearing the Infinity Gauntlet.
The short answer? No. My answer? No, because Thanos is a fucking fictional character.
Where is that stiff drink?
Okay, I’m ready to continue.
Remember when Ukrainian President and Vogue photo subject Volodymyr Zelensky recently told Puddin’ Head Joe he would need more money? Well, surprise surprise surprise, the omnibus spending bill has nearly $45 billion in aid earmarked for Ukraine. And that’s on top of the $68 billion we’ve already given them in 2022. For the math challenged out there, that will be in the neighborhood of $113 billion.
Of course Leftists and some self-described “real conservatives” tell us this money is essential and if we don’t agree, we’re anti-Ukraine and, thus, anti-American. In fact, to them it’s a no-brainer. After all, if we fund the Ukrainians well enough, they’ll beat the Russians and hinder their ability to influence the world
No. That’s really what they believe.
And if it hadn’t been for 18 Senate Republicans voting with Senate Democrats and two Independents in favor of the omnibus bill, we might not be having this conversation. As of this writing, only one of these 14 asshats, Mitt Romney of Utah, has even attempted to explain his reasoning.
Put simply, the Senate Republican support was a no-brainer because no brains went into their votes.
Bartender, hit me!
Now, for the fun part. All of this spending is being done without being in a budget. Since 1996, the federal government has been spending money through Continuing Resolutions (basically, an IOU Congress writes to itself promising to spend more money without any rhyme or reason) or…drum roll please…omnibus spending bills. The reason is simple: no budget means no budget limits. I’ve seen inebriated sailors with more restraint than Congress.
Speaking of inebriation…bartender!
Let me lay my cards on the table here. I’m not a fan of omnibus spending bills, not just the ones Puddin’ Head Joe will sign. Congress has a spending problem, and omnibus spending bills are blank checks backed up with the promise of professional liars that they’ll pay it back with interest.
By the way, $475 billion of the omnibus bill is for interest on the national debt.
Yeah, we’re never going to see a balanced budget anytime soon, not when it’s so easy to pass spending bills that have no fiscal strings attached.
Even if you’re in favor of the bill, you’re going to have a hard time convincing me spending any money on Thanos research, luxury cars, or building a spa advances anything in the national interest. Personal interests, sure, but national? Give me a fucking break!
Speaking of which, I’d better take a break from drinking long enough to wrap this up.
The very fact supporters of the omnibus spending bill have to rely on faux patriotism, a backdrop of Ukraine fighting for freedom, and the idea the government has to stay open or things won’t get done should give us pause to drink…I mean think. As Americans struggle to make ends meet due to inflation being higher than Tommy Chong on Willie Nelson’s tour bus, our elected officials continue to make matters worse by making our money more worthless than an abstinence talk by Bill Clinton.
The sad thing is there’s nothing we can do about it. Aside from a wholesale house (and Senate) cleaning and starting over, we’re stuck paying for someone else getting a luxury car, thanks to Daddy Government. The sad truth is there are so many Democrats and Republicans, both elected and governed, who have no problem with the current state of affairs. After all, they’re not going to pay the tab; we are.
And with that, I bring this Lexicon entry to a close. Which is good timing because I’m about to passdkjladkahdfadjf;dajkl;
[Editor’s Note: We found Thomas slumped over his laptop after getting blackout drunk writing this piece. We cleaned up his entry and his computer as well as we could. We are giving him coffee intravenously in the hopes he’ll be awake in time for next week’s Lexicon.]
After a week full of surprise twists (the #TwitterFiles exposing a lot more than anticipated), not-so-surprise twists (Leftists being wrong again about Twitter being dead), and some disappointing-but-not-surprising twists (Herschel Walker couldn’t cross the goal line to win the Georgia Senate runoff election against Raphael Warnock), we finally have a story worth discussing that doesn’t involve Elon Musk.
Brittney Griner is coming home!
Now, if you’re like me (and if you are I’m so very sorry), you have little or no idea who Brittney Griner is. I will admit I had to do a bit of digging to get the facts behind why her release is such a big deal, and I agree it is. Just not for the reason the Left wants us to believe it is.
What the Left thinks it means – a brave woman freed after being imprisoned in Russia for no reason
What it really means – a prisoner released solely due to the social justice hierarchy
When Joe Biden took over as President, I knew there would be some bad decisions coming down the pike. I mean, he picked Kamala Harris as Vice-President, a woman so unpopular with Democrats that I got the same number of delegates she did and I didn’t even run. Sure enough, there were no supply chain issues with Puddin’ Head Joe’s bad decisions, as they kept coming in like a LGBQT+ wrecking ball.
Even with incredibly low expectations, I knew somehow the Biden Administration would find a way to limbo under them with room to spare. And that’s exactly what we got with the Griner release.
Brittney Griner is a WNBA player who played in Russia during the off season (which is not that different from the regular WNBA season) and was detained after a search found vape cartridges with hash oil in them. Although what she had was legal in Arizona where Griner plays, it isn’t legal in Russia. As a result, she was sentenced to nine years in prison. Griner appealed the verdict, but was denied. Now, less than a year after she was arrested, Griner is free. A feel good story, right?
Yeaaaaah…not so much.
The terms of Griner’s release included a prisoner exchange for Viktor Bout, who just happens to be an arms dealer with the cute little nickname “the Merchant of Death.” Aside from the laundry list of activities for which he became infamous, he was also the inspiration for a Nicholas Cage movie. That alone should have kept him locked up indefinitely.
Then came Puddin’ Head Joe, who thought it was a good idea to trade Bout for Griner with the hopes of getting another American prisoner detained in Russia, former Marine Paul Whelan. Whelan has been detained since 2018 amid allegations of espionage. Although the charges seem a bit shaky, America has let him sit in a prison camp for far longer than Griner.
So, why are we getting excited over a WNBA player getting released in exchange for an arms dealer? A lot of it has to do with Griner’s identity. Not only is she a basketball player (that maybe 0.00000000001% of the population knew prior to her arrest), but she is black and a lesbian. In social justice terms, that’s practically a “Get Out of Gulag Free” Card! Throw in the fact she lobbied the WNBA to not play the National Anthem during the 2019 season to protest police brutality, and you might as well make her a Leftist Saint. You know, if they believed in that sort of thing.
Even if you strip away all of that, anybody with a lick of sense can see trading an arms dealer for a basketball player while leaving a retired Marine on the table is a bad idea. For one, it’s a fucking arms dealer! For another, it shows the world just what America values these days. If you’re an albino transsexual paraplegic Inuit midget with AIDS, you’ll get the Biden Administration working around the clock to get you home. If you’re a white guy, well…let’s just say you’re going to have to wait a while.
Like, say, the 43rd of Never.
Not to put too fine a point on this, but Bout is also a Russian fucking arms dealer! Now, who are we currently in c0nflict with on the world states? If you said Russia, congratulations! You’ve been paying attention. And if you’ve been paying attention, you can also see where this is going, but for you Leftists reading this, let me spell it out for you: Joe Biden just gave Vladimir Putin an arms dealer, all while funneling money to Ukraine…who is currently fighting Putin and Russia.
Either Griner is one hell of a basketball player, or Puddin’ Head Joe got played. And I think you know which way I’m leaning on that one.
Regardless of how you feel about Griner’s detainment (I think it’s bullshit) and release (it’s great she’s coming back home), the fact the only way it makes sense is through the lens of social justice should be concerning. We should not be making these kinds of major decisions through social justice because of the way social justice operates.
Leftists have devised a hierarchy of oppression through which they view different scenarios to determine how to react. Put another way, it’s a checklist to see how oppressed you are based on superficial factors like gender or race. Check enough boxes and, voila, you’re oppressed! But wait! There’s more! Not only will the hierarchy of oppression tell you if you’re oppressed, but it will show you how oppressed you are! And if your oppression score is lower than someone else’s, the other person gets the support because…oppression!
This makes Calvinball look like chess.
Needless to say, when you prioritize oppression by who allegedly has more of it, some people are still going to feel oppressed which doesn’t help the situation any. Then again, if Leftists were critical thinkers, we might not have Puddin’ Head Joe as President.
As it stands, Brittney Griner is coming home to a hero’s welcome while Russia gets a fucking arms dealer back and a former Marine remains in custody. Even before now, the Left has been writing pieces damning America for various aspects of our prison system or why our government should be supporting Griner because patriotism or what it says about America’s current social issues or how black women are treated in prison. Expect this trend to continue with more frequency and ever higher decibel levels.
But always keep in the back of your mind the Leftists cheering at Griner’s freedom have given zero fucks about Paul Whelan, as evidenced by a) how they haven’t talked about him before now, and b) how slowly the Biden Administration has been working towards getting him home. But when social justice overrules geopolitics and common sense, you’re bound to find yourselves in situations where the obvious answer gets rejected in favor of a worse deal than the Minnesota Vikings trading for Hershel Walker.
Oh, and one last thing. Viktor Bout is a fucking arms dealer.
Damn. Now I need some of the good eggnog…
By the time you read this, we will be celebrating or will have just celebrated a pivotal holiday in America. It’s a day to remember the sacrifices of so many to make our country a better place. I’m speaking, of course, of the start of college football.
Oh, and there’s also Labor Day.
Labor Day was established to celebrate the contributions of working Americans, and as you might expect, Leftists are quick to champion those working Americans. Or do they?
What the Left thinks it means – the backbone of this country, people who constantly get fucked over by the corrupt rich and corporations
What it really means – a wide swath of Americans who constantly get fucked over by the corrupt Left
If you listen to Leftists (and I wouldn’t recommend it unless you have a stiff drink or five), the only ones fighting for the working men and women are Leftists. They work so hard to get middle class tax cuts, only to be thwarted at every turn by those evil Republicans who are in the back pockets of the greedy rich. It’s all they can do for the people we rely on so much to make the country run as smoothly as possible.
Which is complete bullshit.
Oh, I know there are hard-working Americans out there because I am one. But the Left’s fawning over folks like us is phonier than a Karine Jean-Pierre excuse for why the country is on proverbial fire right now. Leftists have a healthy contempt for working folks, and no matter how many flannel shirts, blue jeans, and hard hats they wear, they can’t escape their attitudes or looking like a member of the Village People.
As frequent readers know or have figured out on their own, the Left hates anyone who isn’t them. Meaning, rich white Leftists. Everyone else is treated like pawns to be moved across the political chessboard as the elites see fit. Granted, the Right does this as well, but not to the extent and levels of deception the Left does. And when it comes to the game, the Left is Garry Kasparov.
The way Leftists deceive…I mean persuade people of their pro-worker stance is by playing into their emotions, namely greed and jealousy. After all, if working people are struggling, it has to be because someone is stealing from them and living the high life. It can’t possibly be any other reason!
Wellllll…except that it can, and a lot of times it’s because of what the Left proposes to “help” people. More on that later.
By playing into our natural negative emotions and setting up a nameless, faceless villain, the Left sets itself up to be our white knights. And although they profess to be fighting for all of us, they actually don’t. They like working folks who belong to labor unions and consistently vote for Leftists, even if it winds up shooting themselves in the foot with a Gatling gun.
Personally, I’ve seen this contempt for working Americans for a couple of decades, but it’s only recently that the contempt has been more overt, provided you know what to look for. And there is no better textbook on this than Thomas Frank’s What’s the Matter with Kansas? Fortunately, I read it so you don’t have to because, dammit, I care! (Actually, it was because I was curious to see what Frank had to say about conservatives in the Midwest, but I still care.)
I can summarize Frank’s entire book in one sentence: Conservatives have conned working people, and only Leftists can save them.
There. I saved you time, money, and emergency room visits for blunt head trauma from hitting your head against a wall repeatedly.
Frank’s attitude towards people living in the state he came from, merely for voting for Republicans, drips off each and every page. Although he does blame Democrats for sounding and acting fiscally conservative in order to win elections, he saves the bulk of his venom for conservatives who he felt corrupted politics in the state to work against the best interests of the voters.
The reason Frank’s screed…I mean book is a great example of the Left’s hatred of working Americans is because it exposes the rift between what the Left knows about working Americans and what working Americans actually are. What Frank attributes to conservatives convincing people to ignore their best interests is actually conservatives listening to working people and proposing ideas that they might actually like.
And judging from how well the Left has been dealing with the election of Donald Trump in 2016, they still haven’t figured it out. While the Trump Administration wasn’t exactly the best and brightest, they did get quite a few things right, including cutting taxes for working Americans. And contrary to what Leftists want us to believe, those tax cuts weren’t just for the wealthy. According to the IRS, middle class and working class people benefited the most from Trump’s tax cuts.
Then, Joe Biden rolled into town and undid all of that. Yay?
Of course, the Administration had answers for just about every concern we had about rising costs and how to address them. A lot of them involved, surprise surprise, initiatives the Biden Administration and Leftists want. Worried about rising gas prices? Get an electric car! And if you’re still concerned, just laugh! Having trouble paying for groceries? It’s Russia’s fault! Supply chain problems? Spend more on infrastructure! Unemployed? Support green energy!
I haven’t seen anyone this tone deaf since William Hung, and we’re being run by several of these assclowns. But, hey, no mean tweets, amirite?
Yet, for all of the answers the Left seem to have, few of them actually apply to working Americans. The only thing preventing Republicans from getting more working class voters is they’re incompetent when it comes to closing the sale. For all of his faults, Donald Trump at least made an attempt, which is more than a previous Republican Presidential candidate and rich guy, Mitt Romney, did in 2012. Guess what? It fucking worked!
Right now the door is wide open for Republicans and conservatives to make the sale they might be better for working Americans than the Left is. The Left is too busy focusing on social issues that turn off many Americans and finding new ways to fuck up the country to bother with Joe Sixpack’s problems. Trump gave the GOP a blueprint, much to the chagrin of people like Romney, whose version of a Republican President is as exciting as mayonnaise.
While Republicans try to figure out how to attract working Americans and Leftist try to find new ways to screw them, the working class are left with financial problems, rising costs, and more broken promises than a treaty with Native Americans in the 1800s. And the only way that changes is if working Americans are open to change their thinking. Many of them are locked into voting for Democrats because it’s what they and their families have always done. It’s like a rite of passage, only with more bureaucracy. As Donald Trump said in 2016 when asked why working people should vote for him, “What have you got to lose?”
Given how expensive things are now, we can’t do any worse.
If you can believe it, the conflict between Ukraine and Russia is now over 100 days old. What’s worse, I still have my Horrendous Withdrawal from Afghanistan decorations up!
For a brief time, it seemed Ukraineamania was running wild. Everybody and their grandmothers were putting Ukrainian flags on their Twitter profiles along with supportive phrases showing how much they support freedom because, well, freedom. Then, over time, the virtual support was still there, but the vocal support died out. Even the media moved on, save for occasional puff pieces on Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelenskyy that would make Teen Beat sue for copyright infringement.
It wasn’t until recently that I noticed the void of pro-Ukraine voices, and it got me thinking as to why. I came up with two possible reasons, one more plausible than the other given the American media. The first reason was the media was so heavily invested in backing Ukraine that they were hiding bad news to maintain the facade. Although this is true to form for the media (see President Joe Biden), I decided it wasn’t the case because it would require actual journalism to be done and today’s media just aren’t up to the task.
The other, more plausible explanation is the media stopped covering it like it did in the beginning, so people stopped paying attention to it. I mean, it’s not like there are people dying for their country or anything, right? Oh, wait…
This lack of attention isn’t just at the personal level, either. In the past 100+ days, has anyone who beat the drums of war like a Neil Peart solo come up with a concrete reason why the US has to get involved in the Ukraine/Russia conflict? If they have, they’ve hidden it pretty well. And, yes, I know “because freedom” is persuasive to Americans because we value it so much, but that isn’t a justification to commit to an action. If it were, US forces would have been deployed to a few African countries where young men are fighting for freedom against an oppressive government.
Funny how that works, isn’t it?
Seriously, though, the fact we don’t have any straight answers about our involvement in the Ukraine/Russia conflict, let alone the conflict itself, has been a sore spot for me since the beginning. If I am to support intervention in a foreign country, I kinda need a reason I can sink my teeth into intellectually. The lack of such a reason leads me to believe there isn’t a good reason to do it, so we’re left with appeals to emotion to pick up the slack. It works well for a while, but once the emotions die down, we’re still lacking a reason.
What’s worse is most people don’t see the issue. After all, we just had the Johnny Depp/Amber Heard trial and that was super-important! I mean, the legal implications may last for at least a week, maybe two!
The problem is this makes us look fickle in foreign affairs. It doesn’t seem to matter if Ukraine loses a significant number of people in this conflict because we’ve moved onto the next super-important issue (even if we haven’t updated our Twitter accounts yet). This turns the conflict into the geopolitical equivalent of a TikTok dance craze, which does a great disservice to the people we allegedly support.
Here’s where the shit really hits the fan. Our gradual disinterest in what’s going on in Ukraine helps Vladimir Putin because it gives him the belief we will lose our taste for war if he just waits us out. And the sad thing is he’s right. American attention spans are shorter than an ant’s inseam and we get attracted by a new shiny object/issue on the regular.
That’s right, kids. America has ADD.
In matters of pop culture, this isn’t a big deal, but on the battlefield it’s deadly. If we insist on fighting Russia via proxy, we need an explanation, and by my calculation, it’s overdue by, oh, 100 days. If there isn’t one better than “Ukraine Good, Russia Bad” or “because freedom,” then we need to rethink our strategy and justifications for getting involved. There have been too many wars in recent history that have ended badly because we didn’t have a real reason to get involved and were too stubborn to admit it.
So, let’s have it, so we can have it out once and for all. And let’s make it sooner rather than later in case there’s a new dance craze on TikTok.
To say America is polarized right now is like saying “The View” is a moronic TV show: technically accurate, but severely understated. Everything is a point of contention. Whether we should teach children about sexual identity. Who is to blame for gas prices so high Willie Nelson and Snoop Dogg look Mormon by comparison. The ongoing struggle between Joe Exotic and Carole Baskin.
And now, we have a war to contend with between Russia and Ukraine.
If you thought the Exotic/Baskin conflict was bad, hoo boy, don’t try to express even a nuanced, factual opinion like former Congresswoman and current sane Democrat Tulsi Gabbard did regarding biolabs in Ukraine that might cause a global threat if Russia wins the war. In response, current Senator and former kinda sane Republican Mitt Romney called Gabbard out, stating she was “parroting false Russian propaganda” and “Her treasonous lies may well cost lives.”
Ah, there’s the million dollar word: treason. It’s a word being thrown around like a football in Tom Brady’s hands, especially by Leftists looking to drum up support for Ukraine and shut down even the smallest debates about the war. And, as we’re about to find out, it’s a heavy term that shouldn’t be used lightly.
What the Left thinks it means – actions that undermine American ideals
What it really means – actions that undermine Leftist ideals
In the interest of transparency, I am undecided on whether to support Russia (extremely unlikely) or Ukraine (more likely, but not without further introspection) in their geopolitical Wrestlemania with heavy artillery. Both sides have a vested interest in putting a positive spin on what they’re doing, so for someone like me, it’s hard to take what is being presented/reported at face value.
This, ladies and gentlemen, is treason according to the Left, and to Senator Romney. After all, there’s a war going on, right?
Welllll…yes and no. Yes, there is a war going on, but we’re not one of the particulars. Given our history over the past couple of decades, this is a nice change of pace, but the fact we’re not directly involved as a combatant undermines the accusations of treason and simultaneously shows how the Left’s use of the word in such a manner is idiotic at best.
To quote Hannibal Smith, I love it when a plan comes together.
The primary definition of treason according to Dictionary.com is “the offense of acting to overthrow one’s government or to harm or kill its sovereign.” (More on that later.) Furthermore, Article III, Section 3, Clause 1 of our lovely and talented US Constitution addresses treason thus:
Treason against the United States, shall consist only in levying War against them, or in adhering to their Enemies, giving them Aid and Comfort. No Person shall be convicted of Treason unless on the testimony of two Witnesses to the same overt Act, or on Confession in open Court.
And this is why we need to read the Constitution, kids. For as much as the Left love to try to muddy the waters, the Constitution is pretty clear most of the time, especially here. Maybe it’s just my wacky way of weeding out the bullshit and getting to the heart of the matter, but it seems to me nobody asking legitimate questions (or even illegitimate ones for that matter) is trying to help the enemy, whomever that is in the Russia-Ukraine battle because, well…how can I put this delicately…there is no fucking enemy!
Granted, a pretty good case can be made that Russia is the enemy here since they’re trying to get the former Soviet Union back together again and Vladimir Putin hates us like the Yankees hate the Red Sox. But right now no one here is waging war against us by asking questions about the motivations behind the war and our role in it.
Spoiler Alert: turns out we have a vested interest in seeing Ukraine win if only to hide some of the shady shit we’ve been doing there.
Like…oh I don’t know…funding biolabs in Ukraine.
Now, before you Leftists start trying to quibble over the facts, let me point out something you’ve missed in all of this treason talk. I mean, aside from the whole we’re not at war with Russia and/or Ukraine thing. As much as you want/need to discredit Mrs. Gabbard, she brought this little thing the kids call receipts. After her television appearance that got Romney’s magic underwear in a bunch, she dropped a lot of newspaper articles that not only backed up her claims, but made his “treasonous lies” claim seem pretty stupid (which they were).
Unless, of course, you want to start accusing the Washington Post of being in Putin’s back pocket, Mittens…
Now, for the big picture part the Left always seems to miss in these situations as they madly try to defend their incompetence. These biolabs may or may not house biological weapons. That, in and of itself, should be enough justification to ask the questions Gabbard did, but there’s another element. If we are to believe the federal government’s view of what these labs do, they are a storehouse of infectious diseases and cures. In the wrong hands, these can be weaponized, figuratively and literally.
Now, let’s take this little thought experiment a step further. You know what country known for a certain infection disease that caused a global lockdown is chummy with Russia right now? Can you say “China”? I knew you could.
Even if you are hesitant to assign blame to China for COVID-19, the fact they also have biolabs that work on infectious diseases (and, oddly enough, have security measures so weak it makes Barney Fife look like Walker Texas Ranger) should be enough to throw up some major red flags.
Especially for those “follow the science” folks. Hmmm…wonder what happened to them and what they feel about the current situation in Ukraine. I’m sure they couldn’t be completely oblivious to the possible danger and simply be throwing around a term like treason willy-noooooooh, wait.
Regardless of what you think about Gabbard’s political positions and connections to Russia, she has been staunchly anti-war and unafraid to call out people on all sides when they’re being dumbasses. And that isn’t treason, kids.
But that won’t stop the Left from throwing around the term like parade candy. Take the 1/6 “insurrection” for example (Told you we’d get to it!) Leftists are quick to point out the “traitors” who stormed the Capitol were trying to overthrow the duly elected government and threatened to kill Congresscritters and Vice President Mike Pence. Although there were some asshats who went that far and should be considered traitors for doing so, most of the 1/6 participants didn’t. If we’re going to throw the treason charge at them via guilt by association, let me be clear in saying that is going to backfire in a big way when Leftists who backed Antifa and Black Lives Matter get a one way ticket to Fort Fuck-Around-And-Find-Out for the crimes some of the “mostly peaceful” protesters did. And let me just say I think prison orange would look horrible on Maxine Waters, not because it’s an ugly color, but because Auntie Maxine looks horrible in just about anything.
For me, accusing someone of treason is a serious charge that needs to be backed up with more than hurt feefees. To date, Senator Romney hasn’t backed up what he tweeted with any evidence, let alone evidence to the extent Gabbard provided. And any Leftist who is praising him needs to back up the accusation or get called out. Gabbard accepted Russian money. You know who else was willing to take it?
Matt Romney, as in Mitt’s son.
Wow. That’s going to be an awkward conversation at Thanksgiving dinner. Provided, of course, Senator Romney is consistent. Spoiler Alert: the only thing he’s consistent at is being inconsistent. Just like Leftists! Then again, using “Leftist” and “Mitt Romney” in the same sentence is repeating one’s self, but that’s neither here nor there.
The larger point here is we shouldn’t be calling anyone or any idea treasonous unless it actually is treasonous. A bold position, I know, but one that has to be made in today’s contentious ideological environment. Tulsi Gabbard’s concerns over biolabs in Ukraine simply doesn’t rise to the level of trying to overthrow the government or kill its leader. Anyone who says otherwise is a liar, an idiot, or both.
Or Mitt Romney, but I repeat myself.
Unless you’ve been living under a rock this week (and given the housing situation in California, it might not be a bad housing choice), the big news of the past week was Russia attacking Ukraine. Come to think of it, maybe living under a rock wouldn’t be a bad alternative to what we’re seeing now. As reports come in from the area, the world is shocked at Vladimir “I Am Former KGB and All I Got Was This Lousy Country” Putin’s actions and are urging Russia to stop its aggressive actions against Ukraine.
You know, seeing all these Leftist embrace freedom from tyranny is great, but that’s a post for another time. Instead, let’s turn our attentions to our on-again, off-again frienemy, Russia.
What the Left thinks it means – a foreign power with whom we have a complicated relationship
What it really means – a foreign power whose leadership wants to restart the Cold War and win it this time
It seems weird that within many of our lifetimes we were on the brink of nuclear war. At any moment, Russia or the US could launch missiles at each other and blow us all to hell. (On the plus side, it would have increased property values in New Jersey.) Those fears were dashed when Ronald Reagan, Patron Saint of Preventing America from Becoming USSR West, ended the Cold War by…and this is a radical strategy…treating the Soviets as the bad guys instead of treating them like an annoying brother-in-law who is staying with us until he can find a job even though it’s been 4 years and he’s been fired 43 times from the International House of Food Poisoning and he’s dumber than a bag of shi….
Sorry. Got a little too close to home there.
Anyway, as you might expect, there were some Russians who weren’t too keen on America winning the Cold War, one of them being Putin. And as a former member of the KGB, he had a vested interest in bringing back the Soviet Union. Then, he became President of Russia twice with a Putin puppet in office in between so he could keep tabs on the country (oh, and to exert his power to get what he wanted). And he didn’t even have to become a lobbyist to do it!
It’s safe to say he hasn’t gotten over his desire to bring about Soviet Union II: Electric Boogaloo, and his latest excursion into Ukraine is the latest move in that direction. Of course, the Left, who has been treating Russia in a manner that would make Sybil look stable, has been utterly mystified by Putin’s actions to date. Good thing we have President Joe Biden and Vice President Kamala Harris on the case or we’d be really fucked! Remember when the President used his foreign policy expertise to make the country better and safer?
Neither can I.
Considering President Biden was at the helm when the Afghanistan withdrawal shitshow happened, let’s just say I have more faith Joy Behar says something sensible than I have in Biden’s diplomatic prowess. This was only strengthened after listening to the speech he gave last week announcing what NATO (i.e. our military) would be doing or not doing and the approval of economic sanctions, including freezing Russian assets in America. In other words, CNN and MSNBC might be in financial trouble soon.
Seriously, these steps make sense, but only if you apply a Cold War mentality to the modern world. Sanctions only work if they cause actual economic pain for the ones being sanctioned. Freezing Russian assets and going after their banks only goes so far, thanks to the advent of cryptocurrency. For any of the Congresscritters reading this, let me break it down for you. Cryptocurrency can circumvent the sanctions because a) the transfer of currency doesn’t go through banks, thus rendering the sanctions against the Russian banks meaningless, b) the Russians have a decided technological advantage over America, which translates to real power in the real world, and c) I’m pretty sure I’ve lost you by this point and I don’t have the patience, crayons, or hand puppets to explain it. Let’s just say it doesn’t end well.
Then, there’s the oil. Russia is sitting on a sizeable oil reserve, possibly enough to impact global oil prices. And if I remember correctly, oil is pretty useful in America. OPEC tolerates us, as long as we keep buying their oil at whatever price they set. On the other side of the equation, we have oil reserves and the ability to drill for it, but we lack the will, or more precisely the current Administration lacks the will. It’s not all Joe Biden’s fault, but the Left has some ‘splainin’ to do on the oil front.
There’s a third element not many people I’ve heard talk on the subject so far has broached: China. Over the past decade or so, Russia and China have started getting chummy again. For those familiar with history and, thus, doomed to watch it be repeated, that’s a bad thing. With the current situation, China stands to make some serious geopolitical bank the longer the situation in Ukraine goes. China needs oil to keep building its global stature while still being allowed to pollute the world because of their status as a developing country in the eyes of the global climate change cult. And who might just have a surplus of oil they might be willing to sell to China? That’s right, kids. It’s Russia. Sanctions or no sanctions, Russia and China will figure out a way to keep the oil flowing in a favorable direction.
On top of that, China holds a significant chunk of our national debt. Although “experts” tell us China wouldn’t use this as a weapon in this situation, the fact is we can’t completely rule it out. (Then again, these same “experts” were caught by surprise by Putin invading Ukraine in spite of the obvious red flags, so we might be able to take their expertise with a Mount Everest sized grain of salt.) It’s not that far-fetched to think China would sell or even trade some of our national debt to Russia for oil or cryptocurrency because they share the same basic opinion of America.
They hate us.
Outside of the economic sanctions, which appear to be as meaningful as Bill Clinton’s wedding vows, there’s the kinda-sorta-maybe-but-not-really threat of military action if Putin doesn’t straighten up and fly right. Of course, we as in America won’t be going to war. Oh, no! It’s going to be NATO…which means America will be going to war, but under the NATO flag. So…what are we hoping to accomplish here?
To hear the Left talk about it, it’s to deter Russia militarily. After all, who would want to go to war with America and its allies? Well…Russia and China might. And with the rest of NATO aside from us being more cheerleaders than military leaders, it’s pretty much us as in the US against them, and I’m not liking our chances. Sure, we have the tools and the talent, but we still need oil and our political leaders were stupid enough to sell national debt to China, creating a perfect storm of dumbfuckery second only to Twitter.
This idea is strengthened by how our NATO allies have stepped up to the plate. And by stepped up, I mean ran the other way by and large. And, yes, I’m looking at you, Germany. Seriously, finally coming through with helmets for Ukrainians, but expecting them to go get them? I long for the days of the quiet competence of Jimmy Carter’s handling of the Iran hostage crisis after seeing the parade of idiocy at work here.
And all because the EU wants Russia’s oil.
Maybe it’s my Gen X cynicism talking here, but I don’t exactly trust Russia and Putin here. Years of living under threat of a nuclear winter that would make Ice Station Zebra look like Rio will do that to you. And with Putin wanting to get the band back together again to do a Cold War reunion tour, I think we need a lot more of my cynicism when looking at the Ukraine situation here and abroad.
Look at the number of Leftists coming out in support of Ukraine. To listen to them (and, really, I wouldn’t recommend it for long), Ukraine has a right to exist and their citizens need to be armed to protect themselves and fight for their freedom against the evil big bully Russia. President Biden himself even said America stands up to bullies! Yet, these same Leftists don’t apply the same sentiments to, oh I don’t know…gun owners, the Freedom Convoy, conservative speakers on college campuses, Israel, and so on. These Leftists are the very definition of sunshine patriots, who will stand up for our principles and freedoms at times like this, only to abandon them when they get in the way of their goals. And when you consider these same Leftists accused Russia of interfering in our elections for 4+ years with evidence so flimsy Scooby and the gang would figure out the mystery before the opening credits finished, I’m not willing to let them wrap themselves in the Ukrainian flag and lead the freedom parade.
Since the fall of the Soviet Union, I have maintained the idea that Russia is a fair weather ally that needs to be scrutinized at regular intervals before taking them at their word. As Saint Ronald said, “Trust, but verify.” He was right then, and he’s right now.
Look, I know I’ve thrown a lot of information at you with this one, but it’s important to understand the various moving parts in this ever-changing situation. We can only hope our political and military leaders take the time to see the whole field and extrapolate viable strategies to mitigate loss.
So, we’re fucked.
Time to queue up “Two Tribes” by Frankie Goes to Hollywood.