Last weekend (check local listings for the date and time in your area), Leftists from around the world gathered for the No Kings Day protest to take a stand against…kings, apparently. The Elvis Presley estate, LeBron James, and two California professional sports teams were hardest hit.
I considered covering this in last week’s Lexicon, but I a) wanted to see how it turned out, and b) had more interesting shit to do. Now that it’s been a week or so (check local listings for the date and time in your area), I think I can definitively talk at length about the No Kings Day protests.
Or at least make fun of it.
No Kings Day
What the Left thinks it means – a day of mass protests against Donald Trump and his authoritarian regime
What it really means – a protest that’s more Astro Turf than grassroots
When you really think about it (and I have because my social calendar is blanker than Jasmine Crockett’s face while she works on a one piece jigsaw puzzle), it takes quite a bit of logistical planning to pull off any mass gathering short of a riot. Almost everything from a political rally to an office picnic requires a coordinated effort to take care of the details and potential snags that go into putting on the best event possible. It takes a level of competence and planning sometimes bordering on the Herculean.
Well, that excludes Leftists.
Actually, that’s not entirely true. In spite of their intellectual limitations, they’ve managed to put together a network of organizations whose job it is to promote and fund Leftist causes. And the list of partners for the event is a laundry list of known Leftist groups, which isn’t surprising given how the No Kings Day protests are connected to another series of “grassroots” protests put on by the 50501 Movement. From what I’ve been able to gather in my research, the movement’s main goal is to fight back against Executive Branch overreach.
Of course, they had to wait until President Brick Tamland and Queen Kamala the Appointed were out of power to worry about it because…Orange Man Bad, I guess?
As much as I’d like to say, “Welcome to the pro-small government team,” the fact is they’re still big government types. They just don’t want someone else to have the power big government possesses. After all, some of the big brains behind the 50501 Movement are connected to…Bernie Sanders, a man who never met a socialist idea he couldn’t make money off of.
And thanks to the mild success of the earlier protests, we had No Kings Day, which told the world Leftists were firmly against…something we don’t have in America.
Yes. It’s that fucking stupid.
Listen, I appreciate people gathering peacefully and expressing themselves because the same First Amendment that covers my weekly blog full of bad jokes and obscure references that would make Dennis Miller say, “Hey, buddy, that’s way too far out there” (See?) also covers people with whom I vehemently disagree. Having said that, it doesn’t speak well of the movement or the message when it makes no sense outside of your ideological bubble. For a movement to really get traction, you have to attract more than your rabid fan base.
And that’s where No Kings Day falls apart. Yes, it was well-attended and the media did their part to make it look and sound successful, with attendance estimated between 4 and 6 million people. Not too shabby. Now, consider Queen Kamala the Appointed got a shade over 75 million votes in the 2024 election. If each vote represented one person (which might be a stretch given Chicago’s voting history), a vast majority of the people who voted for Queen Kamala stayed home.
Oops.
Not exactly the rousing success the Left wants us to believe it was, numbers-wise. And it doesn’t exactly move the needle, policy-wise. Right now, the Left is united by only one thing: seething hatred for all things Trump. Beyond that, they have the Underpants Gnome’s business plan for a political strategy. Even if the No Kings crowds were larger than anything Donald Trump has ever put together outside of an election, it still doesn’t matter because Trump is still President. It’s kinda hard to flex on crowd sizes with a man with access to the Nuclear Football.
And it bears repeating (mainly because I have to get this through the Left’s thick skulls), Trump isn’t acting like a king, dictator, authoritarian, or anything else the Left claims he is, or at the very least he’s no more authoritarian, dictatorial, or kingly than previous Presidents. Not to mention, he was elected twice. Last time I checked, kings don’t get elected. They’re born into the role.
You know, just like the Bush Family. (Sorry, Jeb.)
The thing to remember in all of this hue and cry is Trump is acting in his official capacity as President, and the same can be said of the people he’s appointed. Sending the Marines and National Guard into California to deal with anti-ICE rioting…I mean protesting? In the President’s wheelhouse. Renaming military bases? Under the Department of Defense’s job description. Cutting wasteful spending? Should have been done by Congress, but DOGE was a repurposed department previously created by President Barack Obama, thus it’s allowed.
Unless, of course, you’re going to call President Obama a king, tyrant, etc., and I get the feeling you’re not going to because…Orange Man Bad.
Aside from their abject hypocrisy in the face of authoritarian rule, the No Kings and 50501 Movement have something else in common: they share funding from our good friend Uncle George Soros. And before you Leftists say “But the Koch Brothers,” it should be pointed out the Koch Brothers aren’t in the business of creating groups to invent “grassroots” organizations like Georgie Porgie Pudding and Treason is. And compared to the TEA Party movement, the Soros-backed movements are utter failures on the level of Angel Reese making layups.
To be fair, No Kings did have some positive news coming out of it. That was until the killings connected to it, even tangentially. That’s a good way to curtail any momentum. That, and the fact each protest this year has gone off with all the impact of a popcorn fart in foam rubber. Trump and the Administration have commented, shrugged their shoulders, and kept doing what they were going to do in the first place.
Great fucking job, Leftists.
And guess what? The 50501 Movement is holding more protests. Because what do you after a protest where nothing happens? Do it again and again!
Let me give you Leftists a piece of advice. Take a shower. And beyond that, you have to understand the more protests you hold funded by the same groups only wastes their money and makes you look like dicks. Far be it from me to stop you if you want to look like dicks, mind you, but I at least wanted to warn you in case you missed it. Besides, you’ve done a fantastic job looking like dicks before now.
Right now, the No Kings Day protests and the 50501 Movement protests are pretty much a non-issue anymore. The fact I had other shit to do rather than cover them when they happened should tell you something, namely that they’re too dumb to be taken seriously. Or in my case, comically. When they start pulling in bigger numbers and have a more coherent and non-exclusionary message, then maybe I’ll take them seriously.
And that’s very heavy on the maybe.
