In the aftermath of the electoral fiasco that was the 2024 election, Leftists have been trying to figure out why they lost so many male voters to the Evil Orange Man. And after some soul-searching and thoughtful consideration, they’ve devised a plan to win them back.
Just kidding! They’re spending $20 million on a program called SAM, which stands for Speaking with American Men. This is a departure from their usual approach, which is BAM: Browbeating All Men. While we see how the Left will fuck this up, let’s take a look at it.
Speaking with American Men
What the Left thinks it means – an effort to attract more male voters to Democrat politicians and movements
What it really means – an Astro Turf movement to try to correct a problem the Left caused
The genesis of this idea came from the same place all great political movements start: luxury hotels. So far, the big brain ideas the Left has come up with are:
– using the online space to appeal to younger men
– study the phrasing used to attract young men in these spaces
– buy advertisements in video games
Wow. It’s a wonder Leftists even have to campaign with brilliant ideas like these, amirite? But at least they’ve figured out what men are, so there’s that.
As anyone who has seen the cratering user numbers of Mastodon can tell you, the online world is incredibly fickle. One day you’re getting millions of interactions with each and every post, and the next you’re lucky to show up in the algorithm. (For the uninitiated, algorithm is what the former Vice President thinks he has when he’s dancing.)
Trying to get people to pay attention to something in this space is tricky. Yes, it’s incredibly easy to get people to act like jackasses on TikTok, but that’s because it’s fucking TikTok. But for every overnight dance craze that loses its popularity before you’re done chewing a stick of Fruit Stripe gum, there are many more that fail to do anything more than make the subject being filmed look like a jackass.
Like Leftists using TikTok to make political commentary.
Being able to get users to pay attention to anything on social media takes more than a strategy and a pretty or handsome face speaking words. It takes a message worth spreading that goes beyond a particular audience. It’s 0ne thing to go viral on BlueSky, which is a highly-moderated Leftist echo chamber to rival the Grand Canyon, and to go viral on the Social Media Platform Formerly Known as Twitter, which used to be a Leftist echo chamber until Elon Musk bought it and…well, we’re still trying to figure out what he did with it, but whatever it was it stopped being a Leftist echo chamber.
And it’s not a matter of the size of the platform, either. Naturally, you’re going to get a longer reach on a platform that has become a daily habit for most people. Leftist social media “influencer” Harry Sisson is on X, TikTok, and Instagram and his posts garner a lot of attention, but it’s all to parrot Leftist squawking points without any intellectual depth. So, naturally, he’s on the right social media platforms for his intellectual prowess. But is Sisson the right person to attract young male voters? Not unless they identify as teenage girls.
In fact, the Left has been trying to find the “white guy whisperer” for a few months now, and they’ve assembled quite the motley crew (and not the musical kind). Here are some of the people who have stepped up or have been pushed into the role.
– Tim Walz, Governor of Minnesota and former Vice Presidential candidate under Queen Kamala the Appointed
– Doug Emhoff, the Second Gentleman under Queen Kamala the Appointed
– David Hogg, gun control activist and possibly former vice DNC chair
– Olivia Julianna, female Democrat social media “influencer”
Wow. With a line-up like that, the only missing piece is Naomi Wolf, who was hired to help Al Gore with his masculinity.
And for any Leftists reading this, I was joking.
The issues the Left have communicating with men have one thing in common: they’re all self-inflicted. The most obvious one is their attitude towards men in general: they fucking suck! Thanks in part to third wave feminism and a healthy disdain for the founding of this country, Leftists have found nothing good in the male of the species. And, speaking as a male, they may have a point. The stereotypical man in Leftist circles is a frat bro, one stage above Cro Magnon but with better cars. They’re uncultured, uneducated, probably drunk, and definitely backwards, but they’re the ones who hold all the power.
Which pretty much describes my opinion of most Congresscritters, but I’m sure that’s purely coincidental.
And when Leftists find someone who doesn’t align with them, they move into harangue-you-into-submission mode. They will shrilly preach about what you’re doing wrong in their eyes, why that makes you worse than literally Hitler, and call you all sorts of names. So, it’s really a mystery why Democrats keep losing the male vote…
Again, Leftists, I’m kidding.
What isn’t a joking matter is the culmination of all of that browbeating and general bitching about men. With male support of Democrats going further south than the border wall, it’s clear the current Leftist model doesn’t work anymore. Men are tired of being told we suck, especially when the majority of us don’t. Even Leftist men are often into causes to get pussy.
Spoiler Alert, guys: It never works. They’ll never fuck you, but they’ll float the idea just enough to keep you from leaving. And there’s nothing you can say or do that will be enough to remove that Rock of Gibraltar-sized block from their shoulders.
Check that. There is one thing: going full Dylan Mulvaney.
And you never want to go full Dylan Mulvaney.
And here’s the funny thing (because it’s about time there’s something funny in this piece). Men really aren’t that complicated. We like simple things, like meat, grilling, and grilling meat. Oh, there’s also booze and women. And maybe fast cars or motorcycles. Oh, and there’s sports.
Come to think of it, men might be more complicated than I think.
Seriously, though, at the heart of every man is four chambers. But aside from that, there’s a need to feel competent at the basics of life. Back in prehistoric times, men were the hunters and gatherers, thus they were the providers. Even though we’ve come a long way since then, the need to provide is hard-wired into men’s psyches. The American Dream was built on that same idea, only with two car garages and white picket fences instead of trying not to be devoured by giant lizards and avoiding tar pits.
In other words, when I was a wee lad.
Leftists overcomplicate this concept (as they often do because to them being confusing is a sign of super-duper intelligence), so they completely miss the answer to their male voting problem. Instead of nagging us to vote for Democrats because reasons, give us a reasoned argument. Or at the very least don’t sound like a harpy when you talk to us. You should have learned that lesson in 2016 after watching Hillary Clinton lose, but apparently you haven’t.
And here’s a fun fact! Many men didn’t vote for Hillary Clinton or Kamala Harris because they’re sexist and racist. It’s because they didn’t like them. And you know why we like someone like Tulsi Gabbard? Because she’s fucking hot!
No, wait, that’s not it. It’s because she doesn’t come at men like we’re the enemy. Her tone and demeanor are much more inviting and she’s more open to having a conversation even if we don’t see eye to eye. You could have a beer with her while grilling steaks and have a great time.
Try imagining Hillary or Kamala in that scenario. Even if you put it in the best AI out there, it would come back and say, “Seriously, what the fuck, Dave?”
While Leftists continue to try to attract men to their causes, they’re going to be met with more failure than Walter Mondale in 1984 until they come to terms with their misandry. Swearing more and studying how men speak will only take you so far, but to me they come off like the “How Do You Do Fellow Kids” meme. If you want to get men back in your political corner, be real.
And from what I’ve seen and heard so far, Speaking with American Men is about as real as William Shatner’s hair.
Tag: doug emhoff
Leftist Lexicon Word of the Week
As Election Day looms over our heads like the Sword of Damocles, Queen Kamala the Appointed is trying to shore up as many voters as she can to try to deny Donald Trump. Let’s just say it hasn’t gone well. Even captain of the Exxon Valdez Joseph Hazelwood is saying the Harris/Walz campaign is a disaster.
And speaking of reaches for humorous intent, there’s a group called White Dudes for Harris who recently put out a…well, one of the dumbfuckiest ads I’ve ever had the misfortune of seeing. And it only cost $10 million! Not to be out dumbfucked, some genius decided to put professional actors in an ad about how real men support Queen Kamala the Appointed.
Someone get Bath and Body Works on the horn. I think I may have found who okayed their snowflake candle packaging!
Either way, I find it interesting the Left is suddenly interested in masculinity as a positive attribute. Usually, Leftists hate all men, even the ones who agree with them in an attempt to get a laid…not that I know anything about that, mind you. Meanwhile, we have a Lexicon entry to get to!
masculinity
What the Left thinks it means – the way a man acts, talks, dresses, and so forth
What it really means – a subject about which Leftists know nothing, which isn’t that different from any other subject when you think about it
One of the things I like best about my life is I remember what things were like before the shit hit the fan. Back in my day, men were men and women were men and everybody was really confused. Seriously, though, we may have any number of men as role models each representing a different facet of the male experience (think Tom Selleck and Boy George), and people were okay with it.
Except for Leftists.
Somewhere between the second and third wave of feminism, men became an appendix with a credit line: fun for a while, but ultimately useless. Soon, the only way a man could get anywhere near a woman without being called a rapist was for the man to completely reject his masculinity, and even then you weren’t safe from scrutiny. Being a guy in the late 80s and throughout the 90s was a minefield of potential bad mistakes. And I’m not just talking about the 3 AM hookups…not that I know anything about that, mind you.
This attitude found its way into politics. (The man-hating, not the 3 AM hookups.) You couldn’t swing a dead cat (and, really, why would you) without hitting a horndog male politician who got caught in a sexual situation because, well, men. But even when that aforementioned cat hit that aforementioned horndog, there had to be exceptions for politicians who acted poorly, but supported the right politics.
And the biggest example of the eternal Hall Pass was Slick Willie himself, Bill Clinton. Leftists went from hating white male politicians to wanting to service the Commander In Briefs just for protecting abortion rights. To the Left, Clinton was the epitome of masculinity, genital warts and all.
As funny as it was to see Leftists throw away their self-imposed standards to back a man who only used them for his own satisfaction (and also to win elections), it gave me insight into just how the Left feels about masculinity.
They don’t know what the fuck it is, but they’re damn sure going to try to define it.
And as you might expect, they’re doing a shitty job of it. When they’re not saying gender is a spectrum or is a social construct, they’re saying men can have periods, have babies, and can even redefine womanhood. And you thought outsourcing jobs was bad!
Yet, in spite of their attempts to remake men into Dylan Mulvaney clones, not every guy wants to get rid of masculinity. They’re happy doing guy shit, like working on cars, hunting, and so forth. So how do Leftists try to win over these potential voters? You guessed it, by talking down to them like they were idiots. Granted, depending on where you go the odds might be in their favor, but from a political standpoint, it’s a losing strategy.
Just as Queen Kamala the Appointed found out. When she saw her numbers among white male voters sink lower than an earthworm’s cock ring, someone had the brilliant idea of trying to appeal to male voters by…hosting a White Dudes For Harris Zoom call with Leftist white dudes! Sign me up for that!
For any Leftists out there reading this, that was sarcasm.
The Harris/Walz campaign has leaned heavily into what they think masculinity should be. And their lapdogs in the media are helping. Reuters devoted time and energy to painting Tim Walz as an evolved man (all while trying to appear to be a normal guy working on his truck and hunting). Second Gentleman Doug Emhoff is being fawned over for redefining masculinity. (His first wife could not be reached for comment.)
And the whipped cream on top of this shit sundae (or any day for that matter) is the term Leftists have created to describe the Walz/Emhoff model of masculinity: nontoxic masculinity. I’ll save you a click: it’s basically being a man that would make Richard Simmons look like Chuck Norris.
That opens up a whole new Costco-sized can of worms that loops back to the point I made earlier about how little Leftists understand men. The Left have defined toxic masculinity as a series of negative traits like dominance and emotional distance that are typically seen as preferred masculine traits. Apparently, the people behind this concept have never been married. (PS, I love you, honey! Please stop watching “Deadly Wives.”)
Although there is some merit to not exhibiting the more negative elements of masculinity, there’s a lot more under the surface that complicates things. For one, men are different than women. I know. It shocked me, too. But even I have to repeat this fact to the Left (who are soooooo much smarter than us, by the way) because of how little the Left knows about masculinity.
Some of the traits attributed to toxic masculinity are hard-wired into the male experience. Back in the old days (affectionately known as my childhood), men didn’t have time to process emotions because they were too busy trying to survive. Men were (and still are) hunters and gatherers at heart. If they fail to come through in providing for their families, there are negative implications. Granted, these days those implications may be limited to having to spend the night on the old musty futon in the basement, but the principle is the same. Men are seen as providers, and with that comes a lot of responsibility and psychological baggage.
And the Left thinks putting a flannel shirt on a guy who doesn’t know a fuel pump from a pumpkin spice latte is better.
Here’s the thing. Masculinity, much like Queen Kamala the Appointed’s policy positions, is vague, can cover a lot of ground, and is often contradictory depending on the day. As a result, trying to redefine it to fit a current political need is pointless. And extremely comical, as the most recent “I’m a man supporting Kamala Harris” ad was.
What made this ad so funny was in how superficial the men were in it. The more I thought about it, the more it reminded me of something. Then, it hit me.
The guys in the ad…were the modern day Village People. The cowboy, the gym bro, the farmer, all stereotypical male archetypes. And the old guy could easily pass as a biker! All they needed was a cop and a sailor and they could go on tour. Maybe they could open for man-turned-pretend-woman Dylan Mulvaney, who could sing his rendition of a song from “The Book of Mormon” called “Man Up.”
Trust me, Leftists. That tour will bring out tens and tens of fans.
The other comparison I can make involves a talk radio network I affectionately call Err America. Billed as the liberal alternative to talk radio, they did their best to copy the success Rush Limbaugh and others experienced. And they failed, mainly for the same reason the Harris/Walz campaign is failing with men: they went with the stereotype instead of finding the deeper context that would have made them at least somewhat credible as an alternative.
So, that’s where we are with the Leftist view of masculinity. In their attempts to attract male voters, they have exposed a glaring weakness in their philosophy about it, and they are getting slammed for it. And rightly so.
Plus, it’s hypocritical (and, therefore, utterly mockworthy) for the Left to say gender is whatever you want it to be while at the same time extolling the virtues of what they think are real men…who just happen to want Queen Kamala the Appointed to be President. The whole concept of masculinity doesn’t revolve around what box you check on your ballot in November. It’s goes a lot deeper, and the Left clearly doesn’t want to take the time to figure it out. As a result, their “outreach” becomes a comical attempt at pandering that is all show and no go.
But I’m sure the Left would never try that backwards approach with people of different races…or genders…or sexual orientations…or religions…