In case you missed it (and why wouldn’t you since you all have lives), there was another No Kings march recently. And I am happy to report the only kings left standing after this march are of the burger variety.
In the aftermath of the march, the Left announced a new initiative called Mass Blackout. First off, it should be Mass African-Americanout. Second, the idea behind it is to stick it to The Man, with The Man being megacorporations.
And now it’s my turn to stick it to the Mass Blackout.
Mass Blackout
What the Left thinks it means – not spending any money during the busiest shopping days of the year
What it really means – another example of Leftists not knowing shit about economics
Financial boycotts have been a thing for a while now, whether it be conservatives boycotting national department store chains for daring to put a same-sex couple in an advertisement or Leftists boycotting Chik-fil-A for allegedly being anti-gay. Their effectiveness varies. Sometimes the boycotts work, other times they drive more business towards the business being boycotted. But at the end of the day, the same force drives decisions one way or the other.
You guessed it. Frank Stallone.
Actually, that force is money. (Sorry, Frank.) Money is a powerful motivator and can make the difference between keeping the doors open and going the way of many government employees these days. With everything, there is a risk/reward argument to be had. Sure, it may feel good to tell the local HOA board member wine mom Karen to go fuck a duck when she’s making unreasonable demands, but that comes at a cost that other HOA board member wine mom Karens will rally around the Alpha Karen and counterattack.
It would be at this point I would use the taser, but that’s just me.
The same principle is at work with the Mass Blackout. (The power of money, not the taser thing. That last one’s just my go-to.) The goal is to make the big stores feel the pinch as the Left goes shopping at smaller local vendors. On the surface, it’s a great way to stick it to the big box chain stores that dominate the retail landscape. Brilliant plan, right?
Yeah, that’s where the Leftists don’t know shit about economics comes into play.
Whether you shop of Mom and Pop’s Cheese Store or Best Buy, the money is still going into the economy. You’re just directing where the money goes. Even if you follow the directives of Mass Blackout and not buying goods or services between November 25 and December 2 from any major retailers, you’re buying something before and after, which means…it’s not really a boycott, per se. That’s practicing capitalism, boys and girls!
Also, there’s the problem of scarcity to consider. For example, I’m sure your local coffee shop has some great blends that you love, but if you’re craving a Starbucks Pumpkin Spice Latte (known as the Money Maker by 4 out of 5 dentists), you won’t be able to get it at your local coffee shop. They may have something close, but it won’t be exactly the same.
What the Left doesn’t understand is local stores and services may not have the exact thing consumers are looking for, so they will either have to order online or stand in line for the big chain distributors to fulfill those special orders. It pains me to say it, but the local businesses can’t always keep up. The sentiment behind the Mass Blackout is there, but the execution leaves a lot to be desired.
Then, there’s the unintended consequences of the Mass Blackout, namely the impact it may have on seasonal workers. Granted, Target and WalMart aren’t going to go under if they lose a few dollars here and there, but what about the employees? These are the ones who always get hurt during boycotts because they’re not the megacorporations; they’re the cogs in the machine.
I remember Leftists going after BP after the Deepwater Horizon oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico. They decided they would stop buying BP gasoline to stick it to the big wigs. What they didn’t know or bother to find out is many BP stations are employee-owned, meaning the boycotts hurt them the most.
Way to stick it to The Man, Leftists. That time, you stuck it to the working man.
Just like you’re doing here.
The problem (among many) is the Left doesn’t seem to care that much about the people they claim to represent. Working class people have been suffering for a decade or two because the Left values self-worth over the common good. To them, it’s always about putting up a good front and feeling good about what they’re doing (or “doing” as the case may be because their actions tend to be more ethereal than practical). And if people they don’t like or know get hurt in the process, so be it! Their fee-fees must be protected at all costs!
And that’s the heart of the Mass Blackout. It’s not about fighting anything they list on their website, which includes a lot of Leftist bullshit that has nothing to do with economics, per se, but can be wedged into the protest with jackhammers, chicken wire, bubble gum, and a lot of duct tape because intersectionality. (For those of you playing along at home, intersectionality is the idea that everything is interconnected, even if it’s complete bullshit.)
Yet, when trying to fit everything into a movement, Leftists never seem to get the idea you can have too much of anything, which ultimately hurts the movement.
You know what else hurts a movement? Apathy. For all the good the movement intends to do, it means jack shit if they’re the only ones playing along. So far, I haven’t seen too many arguments to consider joining the Mass Blackout, just that we should totally do it, yanno. That’s how stupid this is: they can’t even make an argument to the normies out there to join in. Everything they’re doing is Leftist buzzwords and emotion. No real calls to action outside their hivemind, who are already a) invested, or b) too damn poor to spend any real money on anything more expensive than avocado toast, hold the avocado.
And even that might be pushing it.
What is bound to happen because Murka is the general public will ignore the Mass Blackout and go about their days without a first thought, let alone a second one. They’ll spend their money as they see fit and that will be the end of it. And the people behind the Mass Blackout will invariably claim victory or blame the evil Trump Administration/corporations/billionaires/stupid people for a lack of participation.
And the best part? The Left has done this shit more than a few times this year, and not even your perpetually online favorite blogger knew about it. And I didn’t know about it either!
So, if anyone who is supporting the Mass Blackout is reading this, take the L now and save yourself a lot of pain. You’re not going to change the system by doing the same shit you’ve done earlier this year. Switch it up a bit! Maybe, just maybe, participate in the capitalist system like you’re already doing and know your role.
Shutting your mouth would also be a big help.
Tag: protests
Leftist Lexicon Word of the Week
This week, I felt a great disturbance in the Force, as if millions of voices suddenly cried out in terror, and were suddenly silenced. Turns out it was just the Taco Bell I had for lunch, but there was still a great disturbance this past week.
“The Late Show With Stephen Colbert” will be ending its run at the end of Colbert’s contract in May 2026, and there will be no more “Late Show.”
If you listened to the Left (and, really, I’d rather have my toenails pulled out by Justin Bieber than do that), you would think democracy itself was being overturned by the Evil Orange Man. And Colbert, to his credit, isn’t telling people otherwise. With the man who would be Late Knight King being on everyone’s lips, what better subject for this week’s Lexicon?
Stephen Colbert
What the Left thinks it means – a comedian and proud champion of the First Amendment being unfairly sacrificed to appease Donald Trump
What it really means – a semi-funny man who rode an anti-Trump shtick into the ground
I first ran across Stephen Colbert during his time on “The Daily Show,” back when it (and he) were funny instead of more depressing than episodes of the current “Saturday Night Live.” But it was when he did “The Colbert Report” that he really shined, at least to me. His dead-on and deadpan imitation of a stereotypical right wing talk show host modeled at least in part on Bill “Papa Bear” O’Reilly entertained a wide audience. Leftists loved it because it poked fun at the Right, and Rightists loved it because they have an actual sense of humor. Everybody was happy.
Then came President Donald Trump.
With the rise of Orange Julius Caesar. the comedy-pretending-to-be-real-journalist crowd had a problem. Their left-leaning audience demanded the hosts skewer Trump at every turn, but the rest of their audience expected to be entertained. So, they decided to lean hard Left and alienate a huge chunk of the audience in the process.
And Leftist say they’re smart?
I had high hopes for “The Late Show With Stephen Colbert” when it first aired. My wife and I stayed up to watch his monologue to gauge our interest in the show. Ten minutes in, we looked at each other and said, “Nope.” And we’ve never watched another show. Why? Because it wasn’t fucking funny. It was the entertainment version of whisky dick: it was fun getting to the moment, but it was a no-go when it really mattered.
But the Leftist portion of the audience ate it up. To them, Colbert was the funniest man on late night television, and they barked like trained seals at every anti-Trump barb. There’s only one problem with that: there are only so many times you can tell a joke before it gets tired.
I call it the “Urkel Principle.” When Steve Urkel first appeared on “Family Matters,” it was a smash hit. Then, Urkel was everywhere. Eventually, it stopped being entertaining and became irritating. Before you could say “Did I do that?” people began wondering what they saw in Urkel.
Stephen, buddy…you reached that point years ago.
And I need to point out you were funnier when you pretended to be other people. The faux-conservative talking head, Phil Ken Sebben of “Harvey Birdman, Attorney At Law,” even your appearances on the first American iteration of “Whose Line Is It Anyway?” were leagues funnier than the drizzling shits you were putting out nightly for years. And don’t get me started on the Chernobyl-level radioactive cringefest that is “The Vax-Scene.” If you haven’t seen it, thank God. I have and now I’m in intense therapy, and I’m a trained professional.
A professional what, I’m trying to figure out, but still…
But this latest incarnation of “Stephen Colbert, First Amendment Champion” is a lie built on a lot of omission. First off, late night television is all but dead, save for “Gutfeld!” on Fox News, and that’s a cable show on a half hour before the usual late night fare, kids. Ouch! It’s believed “The Late Show With Stephen Colbert” lost CBS at least $40 million a year. Now, I’m no TV exec, but if a high-rated show drops that kind of dough and strippers and blow aren’t involved, it’s not a good thing.
Then, there’s the $16 million settlement between CBS (the parent company of “The Late Show With Stephen Colbert”) and Donald Trump (the man who is the Leftists’ daddy). This stemmed from “60 Minutes” editing an interview with Queen Kamala the Appointed to make her sound less drunk…err smarter. Trump sued CBS over it, and they decided to settle out of court.
Of course, this pissed off Colbert because…fuck Trump? Which lead him to go off on Paramount and CBS…his employers.
I think most of you see where this is going, but for Colbert and his fans, this made him a liability. And some companies out there still don’t tolerate insubordination, which this was. You could have left well enough alone and not criticized the settlement, but nooooooo. You had to use your big brain to open your big mouth and now you find yourself big fired.
Fucking brilliant.
But instead of admitting his mistake, Colbert and his fans went right to the Blame Trump card. Now, the cancellation of “The Late Show” is a First Amendment crisis and has a chilling and dark tone to it. Many have speculated Trump had Colbert fired in order for the FCC to approve Skydance buying Paramount. On the surface, this makes sense, but in the larger context of Colbert openly criticizing his employers on live TV, it doesn’t.
Not that it’s stopped the Left from lamenting the cancellation. Literally tens and tens of people protested outside the Ed Sullivan Theater to try to save “The Late Show.” And then there’s the thousands of signatures on a petition. Thousands, I tell you!
And not a one of them gets this isn’t a free speech issue.
The First Amendment (the one that allows me to mock Leftists without having the government shut me down) applies to government actions, not the actions of a network who sees a late night host as a financial and internal liability. Paramount may have thought firing Colbert would curry favor with the Trump Administration, but we can’t assume the latter forced the former to fire Colbert. After all, when you make an assumption, you make an ass out of u and mption.
Furthermore, New York State is an at-will employment state, which means any private sector employee can be fired for any reason. Doesn’t even have to be a good or valid reason. You can get shit-canned for whatever reason your employer deems good and/or valid.
You know, like…oh, I don’t know…calling out your parent company on live TV.
As Leftists are so quick to point out when it comes to conservative speech, freedom of speech does not mean freedom from consequence as a result of that speech. What Colbert did was bad speech (not to mention the worst fucking idea since hiring him to host “The Late Show”), and his firing is a consequence of that speech. And in the marketplace of ideas, alleged jokes where the punchline is always “Trump sucks” get pretty stale.
But if I had to point to one thing that could be the silver bullet in this case, it’s ego. For a long time, late night hosts like Colbert were untouchable. The more they poked Trump, the more people loved them. And under the tenure of President Brick Tamland, they didn’t have to fear retribution. That kind of seeming invulnerability makes you feel untouchable.
But that’s when you’re the most vulnerable.
Stephen Colbert got to ride the “Trump Sucks” gravy train for years and was paid handsomely for it, but the ride’s over. When your contract ends, you will have to find something to do with your time, and I think your time as First Amendment martyr will be more of a temp job. However, in the interest of being gracious in times of distress, I have the perfect job for you.
Go back to pretending to be other people! That’s when you’re funniest!
Leftist Lexicon Word of the Week
There was a time in our nation’s history when we were scared of communists and what they were capable of doing. The less psychologically grounded of us saw communists everywhere from school boards to boxes of breakfast cereal. (I knew there was something off about the sun on the Raisin Bran box!) Then, we realized communists were less threatening than a Nerf marshmallow (and only slightly less appetizing) and the “Red Scare” was over.
Now, the people who laughed at the “Red Scare” have a scare of their own: they see fascism everywhere. It’s gotten so all-encompassing, Leftists have resurrected a Nazi term to describe law enforcement officers, that being the Gestapo. Although I’m not sure what a chilled vegetable-based soup has to do with anything…wait, that’s gazpacho. Never mind.
Since there’s not much to talk about with gazpacho, let’s look at the Gestapo instead.
the Gestapo
What the Left thinks it means – the group of fascist enforcers oppressing minorities
What it really means – an overused term designed to defame law enforcement doing its job
Back in the days of Nazi Germany, there were numerous enforcement arms to keep order and beat back opposition. One of these was the Secret State Police, or Gestapo. To put it mildly, they were not nice people. Surely, anyone who gets called the Gestapo would be guilty of the same atrocities, if not worse and/or more, right?
Wellllllll…that’s stretching things more than Reed Richards at a yoga retreat.
Remember, the Left has been calling Republicans Nazis for decades. That includes Mitt Romney, who is the human equivalent of dry white toast. And the same Mitt Romney Leftists praised for standing up to President Trump. What a difference a decade makes.
Well, that, and a new villain for the Left to turn into Hitler 2.0.
Of course, this is by design. Leftists love to paint themselves as the last line of defense between democracy and authoritarianism, even as they resort to authoritarianism to “defend” democracy. But since they’re on the “right side of history” it’s okay to be utter hypocrites apparently.
With increased scrutiny on illegal immigration, the Left’s new favorite fascist straw men are ICE agents. After all, they’re…let me check my notes here…enforcing immigration laws. Those bastards!
To any rational person with a semblance of knowledge about the illegal immigration issue right now, the ICE/Gestapo comparison makes as much sense as anything Queen Kamala the Appointed says. But that hasn’t stopped the Left from making the comparison whenever possible.
And speaking of Queen Kamala, her stumbling mate Governor Tim “I’m a Football Coach and Don’t Know What a Pick Six Is” Walz was one the voices making the connection. At a recent Oversight Committee meeting, Democrats kept hammering this comparion like they were carpenters working straight commission. If I didn’t know better, I would think they were anti-law enforcement! I mean, didn’t the Left say attacks on law enforcement were signs of being traitorous anti-Americans?
Oh, wait. That was the FBI.
When FBI agents started to go after President Trump, the Left cheered. Doesn’t matter whether the charges were more full of shit than Port-A-Potties at a music festival catered by Chipotle, what mattered was the FBI was just going their jobs in enforcing the law. And why not? I mean, it’s not like FBI personnel were giving money to Democrats…oh, wait…
Surely I can’t be the only one to see the irony here. Leftists who bent over backwards to defend the FBI against accusations of political biases by invoking the “just doing their jobs” line are now getting their collectivist panties in a wad over ICE agents doing their jobs. I wonder what could be different?
Oh, yeah, they’re not in charge of ICE anymore. It’s under the leadership of the Trump Administration, which is totes full of fascists because shut up fascist. And since they’re totes fascists, ICE is the Gestapo!
Except…they’re not. If you pay attention to the video footage (which I do because I make stamp collectors look like extreme athletes), there’s no torture, no cases of excessive and unjustified violence, nothing anywhere near the level of actions the actual Gestapo took. It’s political hyperbole cranked up to 948, only because the Left’s dials don’t go up to 950 yet.
Normally, we could chalk this up to politicians being bullshitters, but these aren’t normal times. In fact, we may have blown past the exit to normal a few light years back and we’ve turned off the GPS telling us to turn the fuck around.
In recent years, support for political violence against opponents has risen on both sides of the gulf between parties and ideologies. In case I haven’t made myself crystal clear on this, political violence is a non-starter with me, regardless of who is the target. This is how terrible shit starts, shit you shouldn’t wish on your worst enemies because it tends to boomerang at some point. Not to mention, it makes you look like a total douchecanoe.
With the Left’s framing of ICE as the modern day Gestapo, they’re encouraging, if not out and out justifying, violence against ICE agents. Invariably, this is going to make some Leftists froggy, so when they jump, they’re going to be met with force. Then, the Left will decry the violence against peaceful protesters (who just happen to be looting, burning, and assaulting people other than ICE agents) and gin up support to fight back against the “Gestapo” just like their WWII-era relatives did.
One tiny problem with that. Well, more than one, but this is the one I want to mention here. You see, political violence against the opposition is part and parcel of the 14 characteristics of fascism as observed by Umberto Eco, or at the very least an outgrowth from them.
In other words, Leftists are trying to out-fascist the people they claim are the fascists because democracy or something.
And given how many times Leftists have supported rioting, looting, arson, and the like within the past 5+ years (I’m looking at you, BLM), it’s not out of the realm of belief that they’re okay with the current anti-ICE riots going on in California right now. After all, they’re on the “right side of history” according to them. Of course, if they knew history to begin with, they wouldn’t be trying to downplay the violence they’re explicitly and implicitly encouraging.
But no matter how much the Left cries “Gestapo” in lieu of “Wolf” it’s still bad optics that will only encourage more people to support ICE in the short term, and possibly the long term. The longer the chaos in California continues, the more people are going to support efforts to stop it.
Especially if they pull a real dick move and do something like mocking a working mother trying to get to work while these overgrown toddlers “protest.” But I’m sure no Leftists would be that fucking dumb, right?
Never mind.
Keep doing what you’re doing, Leftists. I’m sure being on the wrong side of public opinion will work this time!
Leftist Lexicon Word of the Week
Being a Leftist in the second Donald Trump Presidency has to be rough. Not only do you have to deal with knowing the man you’ve tried to sue into oblivion is in the White House again, but you’re whiny pussies on top of it. Because or in spite of this, Leftists have taken up the mantle of being “the resistance,” which gives them a source of inspiration to do things.
Like vandalizing Tesla vehicles.
And with a cable news network giving these actions a resistance tag, it’s bound to empower more Leftists to resist.
On the bright side, it gives me a opportunity to mock them!
resistance
What the Left thinks it means – standing up to the fascist/authoritarian Trump Administration and conservatives
What it really means – Leftist pussies cosplaying as badasses
Back in the heady days of 2017, Leftists were coming off a stunning upset after Trump beat former First Lady, Secretary of State, and general horndog enabler Hillary Clinton. As any mature adult would do, they looked back at the loss, recalibrated their strategy, and came back with a new approach to winning elections.
I’m kidding. They started pretending to be fictional characters.
Whether it was invoking the Rebel Alliance from “Star Wars” or Lord Voldemort from the Harry Potter books (before they decided J. K. Rowling was too toxic for…checking my notes…standing up for biological women against transgender women), the Left went into full-blown delulu mode. This served a few purposes, not the least of which was making themselves into the heroes and, by extension, their actions righteous. This made even their most egregious actions justifiable in their eyes since the “evil” they were fighting against was worse.
Ah, moral relativism. Ain’t it great?
Empowered by their self-righteous indignation, the Left was able to parlay that into action, namely riots…I mean protests. Whether it was the George Floyd protests, Black Lives Matter, or taking over a section of Seattle and setting up an autonomous zone (CHOP/CHAZ for the people playing along at home), Leftists were able to grab attention and headlines.
Oh, and a few criminal charges. You know, for being dumbasses.
With the second Trump Presidency underway, the “resistance” has gone back to their old habits and become assholes again. When they aren’t going after Tesla vehicles (and the people inside them), they’re organizing protests in each state and boycotts. Because nothing sticks it to The Man like…gathering in public areas with signs and not shopping.
Don’t look at me. It doesn’t make any sense to me either.
And that’s pretty much the problem with the resistance we’re seeing these days. The closer you look at it, the less sense it makes. Sure, there are some causes like trans rights, immigration, and whatever the fuck Representative Jasmine Crockett says on any given day, but most of it is a patchwork of smaller causes coming together to fight fascism, authoritarianism, or whatever the fuck Representative Jasmine Crockett says on any given day.
And speaking of faux edgelords, another way the resistance is making itself known is through politicians using vulgarity. Granted, I don’t have a leg to stand on here because I can swear like a sailor with Tourettes sometimes, but then again I’m not Chuck Schumer or Elizabeth “Chief Running Mouth” Warren. Namely, old people. Watching Schumer and Warren do their watered down impression of Andrew Dice Clay while talking about political issues isn’t edgy; it’s cringy as fuck.
And if you’re watching Chuck and Liz, you’re not Betty White. She could pull off being vulgar at an advanced age. You can’t. You’re as edgy as a Nerf ball when you swear just to be swearing.
In other words, keep it up, you two! You’re doing great!
While I’m waiting for Bernie Sanders to break out an f-bomb during a speech, I can see where the resistance is headed: to the same junkyard Occupy Wall Street wound up. Although we still remember the name, they didn’t accomplish anything. I mean, aside from proving Leftists could fuck up a one-step instruction manual when left to their own devices.
The only thing that gives me pause is how violent the Left can get when pushed. Granted, you can push most Leftists pretty far by merely existing, but most of the time they won’t try to fight back. That is, unless they have the advantage. Just ask Kyle Rittenhouse. Even then, they are at a distinct disadvantage because they vastly overestimate their ability to avoid retaliation. The thing about engaging in violent behavior is there is always a chance for the other party to engage in violence right back. Just ask Moldylocks.
And as much as I would like to say Leftists know how to fight, let’s just say they make Pee Wee Herman look like Chuck Norris. And I mean right now, not when the former was…enjoying an adult movie a little too much. Maybe some of the trans women can teach the Left how to fight, provided you use their proper pronouns or else things could get messy.
Just remember, kids, trans women are women. Just bigger, stronger, taller, and overall more masculine women.
There is one constant with any type of Leftist resistance: the Right will always be on the hook for violence. No matter how much blood gets spilled from Leftist attacks, how much intimidation Leftists inflict on others, or how much property gets damaged as a result of one of their temper tantrums, the Right will always be seen as the ones who are most likely to commit violent acts. In fact, Representative Maxine Waters even said Trump wants a civil war to break out.
This is after Leftists vowed to get more aggressive in opposing Trump’s plans. Oh, and the number of Leftists who wanted Trump dead in one form or another.
You sure it’s the Right that’s getting violent? Because I would think you would know, considering the Right has more guns.
In the end, there are very few Leftists who are actual badasses. Seriously, if you can make a Leftist run for a safe space by eating Chik-fil-A in front of them, he/she/it poses no real threat to life and limb. Some “resistance.”
Having said that, the best advice I can give you is to be aware of your surroundings and the situation. Leftists will do anything in their power to get you to react badly to what they say or do. They want you to throw a punch or shove them because then they can claim to be the victims. And as long as there’s at least one more Leftist to corroborate the story, you will be the villain. Don’t give them that satisfaction. Don’t go looking for trouble.
If you must engage, keep a cool head about you. The worst thing you can do to a Leftist who wants to start shit is to not even acknowledge it. Shrug it off and go on with your day. If you want to take your chances, try the Thomas Two-Step Program for Dealing With Leftists.
Step 1: Point
Step 2: Laugh
Do not attempt to do this if you are mobbed by Leftists or the Leftist in question is bigger than you are because physical harm may come to you. If you need to, bring a hoss of a man with you to be your second. That way you’ll not only have some muscle to protect you if the Leftists want to start shit, but also have a witness to counteract the Leftists’ victim narrative.
Plus, you’ll have one other person who can also point and laugh, so triple bonus!
In the end, though, the current Leftist resistance is as dangerous as walking through a Leftist’s gated community with a “Coexist” t-shirt on. At least until they call security on you for trespassing in their neighborhood, but you get the point. And just like the resistances before them, the current one will end up with a lot of assmad Leftists, a lot of side-splitting laughter from the Right, and nothing actually getting done.
Fine by me!
Leftist Lexicon Word of the Week
With springtime finally here (check local listings for the springtime in your area), college campuses (or would that be campusi?) are abuzz with activity. Sure, some are preparing for finals, dissertations, and summer internships, but many are taking the nice weather to…protest a war half a world away.
Yes, from sea to shining sea, student activists are rising up to show support to Palestine in its war against those evil mean nasty no-good Israelis. And Leftists are eating it up, or at least they’re trying to have it catered because “humanitarian aid” or some such bullshit. The Leftists of yesterday are enjoying the Leftists of today as the latter group does its best to LARP as the former.
But one of these things is not like the other. And none of these things belong on a college campus. Let’s delve into the wonderful world of protests.
protests
What the Left thinks it means – demonstrations designed to raise awareness and initiate desired social change
What it really means – college students being assholes
The right to protest is solidified in the First Amendment in a few different ways, namely the right to free speech, the right to peaceably assemble, and the right to redress grievances. All of these aren’t bad in and of themselves. After all, if I didn’t have a First Amendment right, I wouldn’t be able to provide you with at least semi-intelligent blog posts on a regular basis.
You can stop typing your letters to have the First Amendment repealed, thank you very much.
Anyway, protests are a good test of how strong our commitment to the First Amendment is. At their core, they’re designed to challenge our way of thinking and consider an alternative. At least, that was before it became fashionable to start taking over campus buildings in the name of whatever cause is hip at the time. During the 60s and early 70s, it was America’s involvement in Vietnam. During my college years, it was America’s involvement in Iraq during Operation Desert Shield/Operation Desert Storm. At the turn of the 21st Century, it was America’s involvement in Iraq and other Middle Eastern countries following 9/11. And in each one of these, there is an argument to be made about the protesters being on the right side of the issue. Granted, some arguments are dumber than others, but you get the idea.
The current crop of protesters, though…I’m just not feeling it. The best way I can describe it is college students are upset Israel is taking military action against people who killed a bunch of people and kidnapped others. Oh, and America and different colleges and universities across the country support Israel and/or take money from them. Obviously, this must be addressed! After all, we don’t want Israel to think they can actually defend themselves against people who want Jews exterminated, right?
This notion stems from the Left’s love of the underdogs, or at least politically expedient underdogs. You don’t see Leftists taking over campus buildings to protest the lack of white members of the Congressional Black Caucus, but you will see them expressing unwavering support for Palestinians, Ukrainians, and anyone else who is trying to fight the good fight against a bigger, more powerful enemy.
Oh, and just so happens to fit into a neat Leftist narrative. Palestinians are dying by the gajillions, guys! And those poor Ukrainians are having to fight a war with only toothpicks, some half-used bottles of Elmer’s Glue, and the occasional rubber band! It’s only moral to show their support for these brave fighters who only want a better life for themselves.
And, you know, kill enough of the enemy so they can take stuff.
So, to show their solidarity with the people actually doing the fighting, college students are…staying as far away from the front lines as possible and creating their own mini versions of the CHAZ/CHOP in Portland. But instead of being able to sustain themselves, these brave moral souls are making demands for everything from food to banana-free zones to building materials.
That’s right, kids. They’re holding private property hostage.
And to no one’s surprise, college and university administrators let it go until there’s enough pressure on them to do something. And do something they did! Some cancelled the rest of the semester. Some decided to go virtual for the rest of the semester. And a few grew some balls and brought in law enforcement to take down the encampments or suspended students involved in the protests.
It’s clear to me who the masterminds behind the current movement are: fucking idiots.
Seriously, it’s been bandied about that your fiend…I mean friend and mine, Uncle George Soros, is behind the current crop of campus uprisings. Of course, fact checkers have already tried to debunk it, so that tells me he’s definitely involved at some level. Maybe not directly, but his talon-like fingers are in there somehow because, well, he’s George Fucking Soros!
To be fair to the fact checkers, there are layers upon layers upon layers to the way Uncle George funds Leftist sinkholes…I mean projects. But in most cases, the money gets wasted because he’s relying on people who are fucking idiots to do his bidding.
Like…the student protesters! See! It all connects!
While the previously aforementioned protests tended to be more on the peaceful (and less destructive) side, the current group of protesters have been taught in the ways of BLM and Antifa, which sets up an interesting parallel with a couple of figures from the 60s protests, Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. and Malcolm X. At the start of the civil rights movement of the time, the two figures took diametrically opposite stances on how to advance the cause. King sought peaceful non-compliance, while Malcolm X sought more direct action, up to and including violence. Today’s protesters seem much more aligned with the Malcolm X approach of “by any means necessary” and are more than willing to shed blood to bring about change.
Not their blood, mind you. That would be insane! Now, someone else’s blood, that’s perfectly fine to fuck with.
The problem with this approach, however, comes in the form of criminal activities. At the very least, any protester who takes over a campus building and stays there beyond a reasonable request to vacate is guilty of trespassing. Not a serious crime, but a crime nonetheless. Then, there’s destruction of public property, graffiti, discrimination against pro-Israeli students through the use of wristbands, terroristic threats, and many other possible crimes that, if prosecuted, would land more than a few of the protesters in the Big House for a long time.
Therein lies the question: will they be prosecuted? Given how Leftists enjoy letting criminals run free, there’s a good chance most of them will get off with a slap on the wrist and a mark on their permanent record, which by now has been converted to a downloadable file on iTunes. And while a whiff of a criminal record might be enough to make potential employers run away from these idiots, there are some who are willing to hire them.
Yeah. Ask Bud Light and Planet Fitness how capitulating to the Left worked for them. Spoiler Alert: it tanked their companies so much Michael Dukakis was seen riding in them.
It’s the disregard for the law that separates the previous protests from the current crop. Sure, you had some criminal activity with some of the earlier protests I mentioned, but not nearly to the levels we’re currently seeing. And a lot less whining. It’s hard to be seen as a true revolutionary when you’re begging the educational entity you’re protesting for food so you can continue to protest the same educational entity.
Kinda makes you reconsider forgiving college debt, doesn’t it?
Regardless of where you stand on the war in Gaza, the fact remains the protesters are their own worst enemies, but they’re also doubling as President Brick Tamland’s worst enemies if MSNBC’s Joe Scarborough is any indication. More importantly, though, these protests show how far the Left has fallen as an engine for change. For all the positive press they’re getting from Leftists in the media, the needle isn’t moving in Palestine’s favor. If anything, they’re turning off more people than they’re gaining because they’re going about it the wrong way and looking like assholes in the process. Try getting people who are barely making ends meet to get on your side by blocking roadways with stupid marches which prevent them from going to or coming from work.
And even with the backdrop of academia, it’s hard for me to not laugh at the sheer absurdity of the protests themselves. I mean, will a Palestinian child be saved if Hippie McBonghit holes up in one of the administration buildings? Nope! Will there be a ceasefire if more students threaten Jewish students to the point they can’t even attend class without being accosted? No. Will the Palestinians be able to get a foothold in Gaza if the University of Southern Dumbfuckistan decides to divest itself from any Israeli sources of income? Oooh, sor-ray.
No matter what they do, the protesters are fighting a battle so delusional and futile Don Quixote is telling them to knock it off. But those of us outside the Leftist bubble have time on our side. The recent crop of protesters from Occupy Wall Street to the current dipshits aren’t ready for shit to go sideways. Once the current semester ends and there are fewer people to annoy, what will they do? They’re attention whores, and they will be deprived of the one thing they need more than anything: people paying attention to them. If these protests go further into summer (which I honestly doubt), they will have to deal with summer weather conditions, including heat, humidity, thunderstorms, tornadoes, and so on. Hell, a lot of the BLM protests broke up when the temperature dropped. And these marshmallow warriors don’t appear to be any different.
But I, for one, hope they prove me wrong. After all, it’s hard to find good comedy these days.
Sorry, We’re Open
To put it mildly, COVID-19 has put a strain on the world and its citizens. Whether it’s dealing with the virus itself, the stress of dealing with a new normal we hadn’t anticipated, having to spend more time inside than Boo Radley, or wondering how we will pay the bills with so many places shut down, we are all on edge. This tension has been heightened by recent actions and reactions from the government and the governed.
Let’s look at Michigan, for example. Governor Gretchen Whitmer has used COVID-19 as a way to shut down some businesses and keep others open under the auspices of what was considered essential. Once news started coming out about what was considered essential (selling lottery tickets) and what wasn’t (being able to buy car seats for children, which is a state requirement in Michigan), people started getting angry, leading to armed, but peaceful, protesters surrounding the state capitol building. Similar acts of civil disobedience also occurred from California to Florida.
The Left tells us the protesters are a public health threat and some have even called them terrorists (usually with the totally non-racist descriptor “white” in front of it). The Right tells us the government is overreaching in an attempt to use COVID-19 as a means to grab up more of our rights with no expectation of giving any of them back, not to mention cripple the economy to give Democrats a better chance of defeating President Donald Trump in November. So, who’s right?
They both are. They’re also both wrong.
This is an uncomfortable position for me as someone who not only sees COVID-19 as a legitimate medical threat, but also sees government overreach as a threat. Trying to reconcile the scientific facts and my libertarian leanings has been harder than Bill Clinton on a Viagra bender at the Moonlight Bunny Ranch after Hillary buys it (and I’m not talking cattle futures). Here’s where my head’s at.
COVID-19 isn’t a seasonal cold, nor a variation on that theme. It’s a virus we haven’t dealt with sufficiently yet, so we’re having to play catch-up. And we’re not doing a great job of it. I am someone in a high-risk category for various health reasons, so I take the warnings very seriously since I have a vested interest in avoiding contracting it. Beyond that, however, I feel a responsibility to my fellow citizens not to spread it if I can help it. It may be uncomfortable and keep me feeling hotter than a ghost pepper, but I wear a mask when I go into stores and other high-traffic areas if only to avoid having to deal with the guilt I’d feel if there was a chance I spread COVID-19 to someone else.
Yet, I cant sit by and agree that every government action is done with the best of intentions. Governor Whitmer alone has been an example of what Leftists do when they’re given limitless power. Other government officials from governors to local politicians have undercut the Constitution under the guise of protecting people. As much as these bureaucratic weasels want us to believe even being out in a public park while practicing social distancing will make COVID-19 spread like wildfire, the fact remains the survival rate is still in the high 90% range. Even if it’s asymptomatic, it’s not a definite death sentence and certainly not if you’re not in a high-risk group. Funny how the self-professed “Party of Science” ignores the actual science here.
Being a small-l libertarian, I have a general rule of thumb: leave me and my rights alone, and I’ll do the same for you. Even with COVID-19, I adhere to that. But with rights and power there are responsibilities, and both sides of the shutdown controversy have forgotten this. Yes, the Constitution says we have the right to peaceably assemble, but with what we don’t know about COVID-19, it’s important we assemble peaceably and safely. And, yes, we have to watch out for our fellow human beings, but enforcing the letter of the law to the point of absurdity isn’t helping anyone get or stay healthy.
The problem is we as a society don’t think on so grand a scale. We are stuck in the moment and what we want at any given time, regardless of who gets hurt in the process. Why else would there be a run on toilet paper when COVID-19 is a respiratory virus? Simple. People didn’t care about anyone but themselves. Although looking out for number one may seem good in the short term, it almost always backfires in the long run. Good luck with your 43 jumbo packs of toilet paper you can’t return. Hope you can find a use for all of it. One, maybe two trips to Chipotle?
So, maybe there is a middle ground to be had, but it’s going to take a lot of work on ourselves and society. You want to really help medical personnel right now? Don’t put yourself in harm’s way if at all possible. Exercise a bit of caution in public, and exercise your freedom of expression to let your elected officials know how you feel. Then, take care of yourselves and look out for others. A sense of community will go much further than armed protests and overbearing laws in ending the COVID-19 shutdowns.