In case you missed it (and if you’re like me, it’s because you had stuff to do), the latest round of No Kings protests happened recently, and in spite of the semi-impressive numbers (1 out of 50 Americans allegedly attended), it still hasn’t caught on with the general population.
That’s where I come in!
Since redressing grievances with the federal government is protected by the First Amendment and since this little writing gig of mine is dependent upon a healthy First Amendment, I have a soft spot for the No Kings protests. And, no, it’s not my head, so you can stop asking. As easy as it would be to sit back and mock them (not that I’m going to stop, mind you), I want to help make No Kings more viable.
The first thing that jumps out at me is the the messaging. You’re protesting people you think are acting like kings in a country that defied a king and has never had one since. And your allies across the pond in England? They actually have a king, so they had to switch the message to No Tyrants as to not offend the Royal Family. After all, they command the military. Not exactly a good outcome.
With this decided difference of message, it’s difficult to have one voice. Further complicating matters is the duplicity of the message itself. The same people coming out against the Trump Administration acting like a king or dictator are the ones who said “Rule me harder, Daddy” under the Biden Administration during COVID. So, you’re not really No Kings so much as No Kings We Don’t Agree With.
Yeah, so there’s a pretty big issue there, but one that isn’t impossible to resolve with a little creativity. No Kings We Don’t Agree With is a little wordy for a bumper sticker, so we need to come up with something shorter and catchier, something that gets the point across consistently. Something like…oh, I don’t know…the Anti National Tyranny Initiative, or ANTI. Just think of it! You can have ANTI t-shirts, ANTI bumper stickers, ANTI coffee mugs, ANTI water bottles, and so on! If you can think it, you can ANTI it!
In fact, you can lead a whole ANTI life if you put your minds to it! Be ANTI everything if you’d like! In fact, you could even have a spokesperson you could call Auntie ANTI! And when someone asks you what you believe in, you can just say “We’re ANTI.”
Just rolls off the tongue, doesn’t it?
We have the slogan and marketing point down, and even a lot of the messaging taken care of, so now we need to make it more popular. Visibility isn’t an issue because you have wall-to-wall media coverage (at least until Trump leaves office and a Democrat gets into power at some point). In order to attract more people, the most logical step is to stop being so exclusionary.
The Left has a litmus test problem, namely the fact they have a litmus test in the first place. Anyone who wants to play in their reindeer games has to go through a litany of loyalty tests before they’re officially considered one of the clan. Then, if they deviate even one micron from the hivemind, no matter how much sense it makes to do so, they get excommunicated and turned into a pariah.
And that’s how you guys got President Donald Trump. Twice.
There are plenty of people not exactly enamored with Trump or MAGA (including your humble correspondent), but the way you treat us doesn’t exactly make us want to join you. There’s an old saying, “You attract more flies with honey than with vinegar,” but you’re not even putting out the vinegar. Instead, you’ve gone right to the sulfuric acid and then wondering why no one’s enjoying what you have to offer. You have to temper the rhetoric so it becomes more universal in nature. Your movement won’t grow if you keep preaching to the same people over and over again. The echo is nice, but it’s prohibitive to growth.
“But we got 1 out of every 50 people!” you say. Yeah. That’s a whopping 2% of the population. By comparison, in the 2024 election, over 73% of the voting-age population actually voted. Although the popular vote was closer than 2%, I’m gonna go out on a limb and say the 2% you’re getting at your marches is already on your side, so it’s not going to swing that many elections.
You need new blood, not old people traveling from protest to protest on a bus.
Another issue you have is transparency. You’re already seen as more fake than Joe Biden’s hair, and your lack of honesty when it comes to your funding and organization isn’t helping. You have two options: own it, or divest yourselves of it. Since you’re not likely to do the latter, just come out and admit “Yeah, we’re as grassroots as Astroturf.” Then, list who is funding your protests and let the chips fall where they may. If you’re a puppet for our good friend Uncle George Soros, say it with your whole chest, and the same goes for any other Leftist organization who funnels money to these protests. It will cost you some potential members, but the honesty might gain you more respect than you have now.
And right now, No Kings is getting its butt kicked by used car salesmen in the popularity arena. On the plus side, you’re still leagues ahead of Congress.
Finally, you need to stop being so hypocritical when it comes to fighting the tyranny you see. Not only do you look foolish when you call one side tyrannical while staying silent when your side does the same stuff. If you really are against people acting like kings and tyrants, it has to be all or nothing. Start looking at the COVID restrictions under Biden and Democrat governors. If you don’t see tyranny, you shouldn’t be protesting because it’s clear you don’t know what it is. Once you have that down, call it all out, Democrat and Republican, liberal and conservative, The Captain and Tennille.
I do have a few other suggestions, but this should get you started. Good luck in turning the No Kings experiment into an ANTI experience!
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