Capitol Hill was all abuzz this week, unfortunately not because a swarm of bees got into the Capitol Building and started stinging our Congresscritters. No, this buzz was because of the One Big Beautiful Bill Act that President Donald Trump pushed. With prospects looking shakier than Rosie O’Donnell eating Jello on the San Andreas Fault during a 6.9 on the Richter Scale, the Act was finally passed by the House and Senate following close vote counts and a lot of bitching.
Mostly from the Left, as it turns out.
As we watch Leftist’s heads explode, maybe we should take a more sober approach to figuring out what the Act is all about. Then again, in order to make sense of some of this shit, you might need a stiff drink or fifty.
One Big Beautiful Bill Act
What the Left thinks it means – a horrible bill that ultimately hurts the American people
What it really means – a Frankenstein’s Monster of a bill that should piss off everybody
After years of being a Leftist and a recovering Leftist, I’ve learned whenever they lose their collectivist shit over anything it’s worth double checking to see what they get right and what they pull out of their asses. Call it Don’t Trust But Verify, if you will.
The best place to start in reviewing the Act is, well, the Act itself. As you might expect, it’s about as sexy as Kathy Griffin without makeup. Or Carrot Top, in other words. Tucked into the sections and subsections are some pretty big items, like increasing funding for ICE and Medicare reform, that have had Leftists up in arms for weeks. On the plus side, at least the firebombing of Teslas has slowed down enough because of the outrage over the One Big Beautiful Bill.
Not that you could tell from the quality of said outrage. Aside from House Minority Leader Hakeem “the Nightmare” Jeffries talking for 8+ hours to delay the House vote on the Act and claims the Medicare cuts would kill tens of thousands a year, the best they could come up with is calling it…the Big Ugly Bill. What’s next? Calling Trump a doody-head?
Actually, that might be a compliment coming from Leftists, given they’re invested in calling him the next Hitler.
Anyway, the opposition to the Big Beautiful Bill Act didn’t accomplish its presumed goals and only served to throw some red meat (or would that be white tofu) to its ideological base. The “leaders” had to pretend like they were fighting for the American people because…let’s face it, they’re more interested in keeping power than anything else, so they had to put on some political Kabuki theater to give the impression they were doing something. Now, we’re being treated to “you MAGAs are gonna regret this” rhetoric.
After all, they’re so much smarter than us smooth-brained non-Leftists, right? And they were so right about President Brick Tamlin’s mental faculties, Queen Kamala the Appointed’s Presidential campaign, and Hunter Biden’s laptop!
The thing is there is a lot in the Act that the Left could have talked about in lieu of resorting to meaningless theatrics, fearmongering, and taunting that would get them mocked by preschoolers for being immature. For one, it’s over 900 fucking pages! After Congressional Republicans bitched about not being able to read bills before a vote when the Democrats ran Congress, cramming the shoe on the other foot doesn’t help matters any. Not to mention, it gave Leftists like Elizabeth “Chief Running Mouth” Warren a PR opportunity. Granted, it wasn’t all that effective in the grand scheme of things, but you never want to give your opponents any room to operate. Trump and his party faithful have to hit their knees and pray every night for the Left to continue to be ineffective.
And speaking of ineffective, one of the Act’s provisions would raise the debt ceiling by $5 trillion. Now, this is bad enough as it is, but it’s made even worse because of President Trump’s recent history flip-flopping on the issue. I know you have to spend money to make money in the business world, but this ain’t the business world. The money Trump wants to spend is ours. Just like the money President Brick Tamland and Queen Kamala the Appointed wanted to spend was ours. I didn’t like it then, and I don’t like it now for the same reason: it doesn’t address the spending problem. All it does is extend our federal credit card. And who’s gonna tell Congress they can’t spend anymore?
Nobody. Not even the President.
And with the One Big Beautiful Bill Act, it’s estimated the deficit will increase by over $3 trillion over the next decade. Remember when President Trump swore he would balance the budget? Yeah, that didn’t fucking happen and it’s not happening now.
Then, there’s the military spending. Sure, there’s provisions to help service members and build ships, but there’s also $25 billion for our own version of Israel’s “Iron Dome” missile defense system called the “Golden Dome.” Although it’s a good idea in theory and practice, it makes more sense in Israel than it does in the good ole US of A. Israel is surrounded by people who want to kill them and will use any military hardware they can get their hands on to do it. America doesn’t have that problem yet, and unless Canada and Mexico decide to start shit, we won’t need any dome. After all, what good is a missile defense dome against enemies already under it?
Which brings us back to illegal immigration. The Act also beefs up ICE and the Border Patrol to the tune of $100 billion. And that’s not counting the additional funds for detention centers, hiring more agents, the border wall, and, oh yeah, turning ICE into the largest law enforcement department in the country. The Left is already calling ICE the Gestapo, so why not give them more opportunities to make that point?
I see where the President and his staff are coming from with this spending, but I see it much like I see the rollout of DOGE: a good idea implemented badly. The hard work is going to be overhauling the immigration system, but it’s not even a concept in the One Big Beautiful Bill Act. Imagine what we could do if we spent some of the money going towards ICE towards revamping the current immigration and asylum process.
But at least the wall is getting more money, right?
As a small government kinda guy, my bullshit meter goes off whenever there’s a need to expand government even a little bit. Granted, hiring more ICE and Border Patrol agents makes more sense than hiring more IRS agents (and arming them) like President Brick Tamland wanted, I still have to call bullshit on the spending. We are running a $37 trillion national debt as of the writing of this Lexicon entry (check local listings for the time and spending debacle in your area). We don’t need to spend more; we need to find ways to do what we can with what we have. Right now, the government is spending money like a rich kid who buys a new car to match his/her outfit for the day, and until someone with some stroke tells us the spending spree is over, we’re going to keep looking for a hot pink and teal Ferrari for our trip to the day spa.
Any of these topics would have been an infinitely better discussion than the drivel the Left gave us about the Act, but even when they may have a point with some of the Act’s provisions, I still have to throw the brown bullshit flag. The claims being made around millions of Americans losing health care and food assistance may be omitting some key details.
Let’s take the “Americans are losing their health care” line. The Left is leaving out some details with this claim, namely some of the entities that get Medicaid funding. They want you to believe it’s your Grandma Oma getting shafted more than Richard Roundtree at a gay orgy, but the proposed funding cuts to Medicaid are designed to close up an oft-overlooked loophole that the Left has used for decades.
See, there’s this little thing the kids like to call the Hyde Amendment. The Cliff’s Notes explanation is federal funding is not to be used to fund abortions, a point the Left keeps bringing up when needed. The problem is…the Hyde Amendment isn’t being followed. Want proof?
Planned Parenthood gets over 40% of its funding from government entities including…drum roll please…Medicaid. And that’s not according to some right wing rumor mongering website. That’s from Planned Parenthood itself.
The Left will immediately fire back with “that’s not all Planned Parenthood does” and they’re right. However, my retort is to ask for a full accounting of where those government funds went, right down to the penny. And, funny thing, no one’s ever taken me up on that. Makes me wonder if Planned Parenthood might have something to hide…
With the food assistance angle, the Left is painting a false picture by using poor mothers and children as rhetorical human shields. Federal law states illegal immigrants aren’t supposed to get food assistance, but that may not be the case. During Fiscal Year 2023, the USDA made $10.5 billion in erroneous SNAP benefit payments. Although I’m not sure the Act directly addresses this in its more restrictive SNAP qualifications, it would be foolish not to tackle this issue, especially since it dovetails nicely with President Trump’s illegal immigration crackdown.
If only we had a federal agency that could look into that and root out government inefficiencies and waste. Nah, that would never fly, especially not if it’s named after an internet meme.
The One Big Beautiful Bill Act isn’t all bad, though. Tax cuts, decreased spending on alternative energy boondoggles…I mean grants, and boosts in tax credits are always welcome sights in any spending bill. Plus, it makes Leftists scream like Trigglypuff, so it can’t be all bad.
But that doesn’t make it all good, either. It’s a damn good thing Leftists don’t know how to make a cogent argument when it counts (or ever) or else the Act would have been in serious trouble and might not have gotten passed. I urge you to read up on it like I did and pick it apart before cheering or deriding it. A famous philosopher once said, “You take the good, you take the bad, you take them both and there you have…”
Wait. That’s the theme song from “The Facts of Life.” Never mind.
Tag: government waste
Leftist Lexicon Word of the Week
This past week had more Leftists’ heads exploding than, well, since last week. Among the numerous outrages and impotent protests against Donald Trump and his plans to remake government, it seems we found out a certain government agency has been spending money like a drunken fleet at a whorehouse in Amsterdam.
In other words, spending like they were Congresscritters.
Throughout this discussion trying to reconcile humanitarian aid with condoms for al Qaeda (and I wish I was making that up), the subject of government waste has come front and center. As a result, I would be remiss if I didn’t discuss it in some fashion, mainly because it will piss off the Left and that’s always fun!
government waste
What the Left thinks it means – a rarity in government only harped on by Republicans and Conservatives wanting to destroy the social safety net
What it really means – par for the course in Washington
Before we jump in, there are some foundational ideas we need to discuss. The concept of government waste is foreign to the Left because to them government is the sole source of all that is good and right in the world. By extension, anything government spends must be in pursuit of all that is good and right in the world. And cutting spending? You might as well say you want to drown Leftists’ cats.
You know, because they hate kids?
Anyway, the concept of government as Daddy Warbucks (one of the few wars Leftists have no problem supporting) makes addressing government waste more difficult because in order for them to address it, they would have to change their minds. And that’s tougher than you think. Leftists are notoriously stubborn and unwilling to admit they’re wrong.
How do I know this? I was one of them for a long time, and I can’t chalk up my stubborn streak completely to being part German.
That’s not to say they’ll never do it. To their credit, Leftists have been complaining about military spending, and I have to agree there is a lot of room to improve there. After all, if they spend $450 on a hammer that I can get at a local hardware store for a fraction of that price, that’s clear government waste.
Come to think of it, that could apply to Congresscritters….
Meanwhile back at the main point, the Left have a number of ways to continue the wonderful world of waste. Some of it, like with USAID, is done in plain sight because they know no one will really look at it. It’s a line item in a federal budget that gets sent over to the agency to dispense as it sees fit. Which apparently includes a transgender opera in Columbia (again, I wish I were making that up).
There are also non-government organizations (NGOs to the hip kids out there) that handle a cornucopia of issues. Which can lead to a cornucopia of waste. Because of what they are, they operate in an area where they get public funding, but don’t have the levels of oversight government agencies do, which makes it a perfect way to waste money without accountability. Nice work if you can scam it!
Then, there’s word magic, as I like to call it. This is when someone comes up with a long and complicated name for a common item, which invariably makes it sound more impressive/expensive. Imagine coming across a vertically operational transcribing tool with an internal liquid disbursement system. Sounds pretty awesome, right? You happily spend the $100 or however much it costs, and you get sent…
A fucking pen.
That’s government spending for you in a nutshell, or a nutcase if you’re dealing with Rep. Jasmine Crockett. So, how do we fix it? Well, we don’t have to worry about Leftists fucking up our plans, so there’s that.
The first step is what the Trump Administration and Elon Musk are doing now: identifying the waste. And the way they’re doing it makes it all the better. By putting it on blast, anyone who wants to do some digging can verify the information and act accordingly, which in this case would be pissed. And the cherry on the top of this government waste sundae? Leftists now have to defend spending money to promote tourism in Egypt (again, I wish I were making that up) and other silly expenditures. Sure, they’ll link it back to humanitarian efforts like fighting hunger, but they haven’t gotten around to explaining how spending $70,000 for a DEI musical in Ireland (you know the words, so sing along!) helps feed a starving child.
Why, it’s almost as if…Leftists don’t want to discuss government waste because a lot of the shit they promote is government waste. Funny how that works out isn’t it?
Now, to my friends on the Right, I have to advise you government waste isn’t just a Leftist thing. If we’re going to be serious about reducing waste, we have to be willing to look at things we want/need that can be less expensive to obtain. Providing for the common defense is in the Preamble of the Constitution, but that doesn’t give us the government’s black diamond American Express card to spend on whatever we want regardless of the price. We have to be willing to take a scalpel and a chainsaw to the waste so we get rid of the fat without getting rid of those things that actually do good.
So, I guess my suggestion is to be somewhere between a sensible budget hawk and Ron Swanson. Just don’t touch Ron’s bacon, or mine for that matter.
Meanwhile, to my Leftist friends, understand this is a necessary process. We can’t keep running up the national debt and having other countries own a significant chunk of it without making a change. And, yes, that means some of your sacred cows are going to have to become hamburger (or if you prefer, impossible meat) to make progress. After all, you can’t fund your transgender comic in Peru (one more time!) with government funds if your country is bankrupt.
But I can’t leave you Leftists without an option. If you really feel passionate about funding a project…fund it your own damn self! Don’t rely on government to pick up your tab, especially when that tab is using tax dollars of people who might not share your passion. Leave the tax dollars for shit we actually need, like national defense, infrastructure, and stuff that is more universally accepted. So, start your GoFundMe for your pet projects and Go Fuck Yourself if you can’t get it done without Uncle Sam.
Government waste affects us all one one level or another, and we have to rein it in somehow. Say what you will about Trump and Musk (and I know you will), they’re at least trying to do just that. And if you’re screaming about cutting government waste, think about the reason why. It may not be because essential services are getting slashed, but because your shit is about to be exposed.
So, good luck with that.
Leftist Lexicon Word of the Week
As is the case when one party takes over the Presidency from the opposing party, there are going to be some changes. Some changes, like Cabinet appointees, are normal. Some changes, like the ones President Brick Tamland made so absolute freaks could join the military…not so much.
But there is one group the Left is freaking out about (you know, in between their freak outs over Donald Trump being President again). Headed up by Elon Musk and Vivek Ramaswamy, the Department of Government Efficiency, or DOGE, will attempt to do something near and dear to my heart: root out inefficiencies within the federal government behemoth and find ways to save money.
Which is why the Left is freaking out about it.
So, why all the fuss over a government entity, something Leftists love more than they love free cash from our old buddy Uncle George Soros? Well, let’s find out together!
the Department of Government Efficiency
What the Left thinks it means – a government entity that will threaten life, healthcare, and other needed social programs in the name of curtailing spending
What it really means – either a long-overdue government auditor or a fucking awesome troll
There’s an old saying: never fry bacon naked. More appropriately to this context, there is another old saying: money is power. And nowhere is this old saying more true than in the halls of government. As far as the other one, I’m not going to inquire whether it applies to government. Just…leave it be.
As odd as it sounds, the Left understands this much better than the Right does. They just don’t spend money well, as Queen Kamala the Appointed’s campaign proved. Still, they understand the power that comes with having wealth, which is why they tend to do what the wealthy want.
Sorry, Leftists. The only way you get a seat at the Adults’ Table is if your bankroll has more zeroes than the ones in your ranks.
Two of the ways government Leftists get money from you and me are taxes and regulations. Taxes are somewhat excusable because that’s how we should be funding out country. Regulations, on the other hand…well, that’s a whole different kettle of overpriced fish.
Regulatory agencies are like HOA boards. They write rules that everyone has to follow, even if they are contrary to what the people want and fly in the face of what most people would consider common sense. And if you violate those rules in any way? Fines up the ass. And who gets to handle any appeals? Usually…it’s the assholes who made the rules in the first place.
That means the natural enemy of the government Leftist is anyone who wants to change the grift…I mean system. Ron Paul to his credit (and to the chagrin of big government types) stayed pretty consistent when it came to wanting government to make sense, especially when it came to the Federal Reserve. His son Rand Paul is also a fan of reducing government waste, relating it to the Airing of Grievances from as a part of Festivus from “Seinfeld.” Others have also taken up the mantle ensuring government waste gets the attention it so richly deserves.
And guess who else has made it a priority? Donald Muthafuckin’ Trump.
While Democrats understand the power of money, Republicans in recent years have come to understand the power of not wasting money. This hasn’t always been the case, unfortunately, as there are more than a few Republicans okay with spending money we don’t have on shit we don’t need or that could be obtained at a lower cost.
And it’s not the cranks on the Right with zero influence. Deregulation has been a cornerstone issue for many Republicans like Ted Cruz for the same reason fiscally responsible adults don’t go out and buy a new Ferrari every two weeks: it’s ultimately a waste of money, no matter how good you look in it. If a product or service is required to go through unnecessary rounds of regulatory trials, it costs money. And when you consider some of the things the federal government let pass that ultimately turned out to be harmful, maybe deregulation isn’t such a bad thing after all.
And if you Leftists doubt me, riddle me this. Why aren’t there snacks with Olestra in them anymore? Two words: anal leakage.
So, for Trump to even float the idea of an entity to audit government spending is a pretty big step, and it’s a step too far for Leftists out there. To rub a Great Salt Lake’s worth of salt into the wound, he picked Elon Musk to head it up. Now, Musk isn’t on too many Leftist Christmas card lists anymore because he decided the Left was nuttier than squirrel shit and wasn’t afraid to say it. He even went so far as to buy the Social Media Platform Formerly Known As Twitter and made it open for more free expression, unlike the pre-Musk days when Leftists could get people kicked off the platform for daring to exist in their space! The absolute nerve!
The other part of the power couple from Deregulation Hell is Vivek Ramaswamy, former Presidential candidate and by all accounts not to the Left of Ronald Reagan a smart and friendly guy. Although the Left will give us plenty of explanations as to why the Department of Government Efficiency won’t work, I think it’s clear why the Left doesn’t like it.
Leftists don’t want an African-American man and a person of color to succeed, and that’s racist.
Seriously (or at least as seriously as I can make it), the Left fear the Department of Government Efficiency might actually work and root out the kind of cost overruns and unnecessary spending that would put a lot of politicians out of a job…at least until they got a lobbying gig, but you see the point. Donald Trump has mastered the game of politics. Yes, he’ll still make boneheaded decisions, but when it comes to beating the Left at their own game, he is Bobby Fischer and they are Bobby Boucher, only not as good at football.
And that’s why there’s a part of me that thinks the Department of Government Efficiency may be the biggest troll in modern history.
Trump loves to needle his critics, which they aren’t used to because they’re thin-skinned little pussies who live in communities where their ideas are never challenged. As such, he has become the Trollmaster In Chief, throwing rhetorical jabs like Mike Tyson in his prime. Or Jake Paul when the fight is rigged.
The thing that makes me think the Department of Government Efficiency is one of these rhetorical jabs is in the first letters of the department, DOGE. For those of you who have lives, Dogecoin is a cryptocurrency made popular by…drumroll please…Elon Musk. And what else is it known as in some circles? Doge.
I wouldn’t put it past Trump to have created this department as a joke just to see Leftists’ heads explode. It is just too fucking perfect and a way to make his detractors lose their collectivist minds. And if it is a troll, I will stand up and give him a slow clap because it’s that awesome of a troll.
On the other hand, if it’s a serious proposal, I am all for it. Government waste caused by bad spending decisions and worse regulatory decisions needs to be addressed while we might be able to not spend ourselves into oblivion. With a lofty goal of $2 trillion in spending cuts, it’s a definite start towards fiscal responsibility. Having said that, I will be keeping tabs on the government waste and verifying if there is more to be cut elsewhere that wasn’t on the chopping block. (I’m looking at you, Department of Defense.)
In the meantime, I will be buying up a lot of popcorn stock because the next four years are gonna be fun.
Leftist Lexicon Word of the Week
With the change of Presidents, there tends to be a change of federal officials. One of the recent changes is in the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, and Firearms, which if you think about it is an awesome way to start a party. Instead of party tips, the BATF helps to regulate the items in their name and to enforce the laws/regulations surrounding them. And former ATF agent David Chipman wants to be in charge of it.
This got me thinking about the nature of the organization and its place in this world. The Left obviously tolerate it or else they would be attacking it constantly (while simultaneously not doing a thing to get rid of it because reasons). And we could do worse than a former agent heading up the organization, right? Well, that’s a sticky question, as we’ll find out!
Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, and Firearms
What the Left thinks it means – a necessary government agency charged with the purpose of protecting Americans
What it really means – what would happen if you gave Paul Blart federal policing power
The ATF as we know it came into being in 1972, the decade that gave us the Pet Rock, polyester leisure suits, and disco. But unlike the three things I just mentioned, the ATF hasn’t gone out of style and still affects society. For the most part, they’ve kept out of the public eye and done their jobs. But when you’ve seen what they’re doing, it’s usually not because they’re handing out hot dogs and balloons for the kids. Just ask David Koresh…oh, wait…
Regardless of where you stand on what happened to the Branch Davidians, it’s clear the ATF doesn’t always do the right thing. The Clinton Department of Justice’s investigation admitted the ATF screwed up, but blamed the fiery outcome on the Branch Davidians because, well, reasons. If someone with the kind of power the federal government wields makes a boo-boo that results in property destruction, mass death, and bad PR for decades to come, we might not want it involved in our daily lives. Even if these mistakes are few and far between, it’s hard to overlook them.
Which bring us back to David Chipman. Seems he was on the ground in Waco and had a part in how everything went down. Doesn’t that instill a buttload of confidence in his leadership?
Typical government incompetence aside, the real problem I have with the ATF is redundancy. I’m a simple man, so I skew towards simple things. But Leftists don’t like simplicity because it makes it harder for them to install bureaucratic “upgrades” to consolidate their power base. Remember, the sole purpose of bureaucracy is to become necessary to as many people as possible, and the ATF is no different.
Think about what is in the name of the agency. Alcohol, Tobacco, and Firearms. Alcohol and tobacco are considered to be drugs. If only there were an agency already in existence that would handle drugs…oh, wait! We have one: the Food and Drug Administration! With a little work, two-thirds of the ATF’s focus would be taken over by an agency that actually deals with drugs. And I’m guessing the policing actions would come in handy when trying to get drugs approved, too!
That leaves the firearms. For the Leftists and the Constitutionally ignorant (but, I repeat myself), the Second Amendment gives people the right to be armed if they want. Still, there are some elements such as background checks that might be necessary to determine if a potential owner lacks a serious criminal record or has issues that might prevent him or her from operating the gun safely. Well, why not put that responsibility on the Department of Justice? If they have time to issue threats against Republican Governors who might defy the notion of a national mask mandate, they could spare the time to do a couple of background checks.
“But what about the ‘well-regulated militia’?” Leftists might ask. Simple. If you’re going to use that approach, it would fall under the Department of Defense. Either way, the ATF goes the way of an elderly person moving next door to a COVID-19 patient in a New York State retirement community. (And, yes, that was a Cuomo joke.)
With all of this, the next logical question is why we need a Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, and Firearms. And the logical answer is…we really don’t. So, why do we keep it around? Easy. Our government officials don’t want to get rid of it. The same goes for any number of agencies and programs currently in place across multiple Cabinet offices and departments. Just think of the ATF as a federal office that went through a copier, oh, 943 times.
Even so, it still has quite of bit of influence over our lives, especially for purveyors and fans of booze, drugs, and guns. As nice as it would be to see someone like a Ted Cruz or Rand Paul tear David Chipman not just a new one, but several, the fact remains the ATF isn’t essential to the operation and defense of our country. To that end, we shouldn’t have Chipman testifying and looking like a giant albino flounder because there shouldn’t be an office for him to occupy in the first place. The only way to end it is to keep on our elected officials to cut the fat. (And, no, that’s not a threat of violence against Jerrold Nadler.)
And this is where the Right needs to make good on their stated desire for smaller government, not big government they can control. The fact we have one government agency, let alone multiple ones, existing when they don’t need to be is a black eye to Republicans and conservatives. Either get rid of the excess, or just say “Hey, I only said I’m for small government because I wanted your votes and money.” Then we will know what kind of snakes you are and who we will need to vote for to get rid of you.
I hear there’s a guy from Ireland who’s pretty good at getting rid of snakes.