One of the things I’ve grown to hate about politics in recent years has been the tribalism of both the Left and the Right. It seems if someone from one side does something horrible, like killing a bunch of elderly nuns trying to cross the street, the two extremes can’t come together and say “You know, that’s fucked up.” Invariably, one side will say it was wrong and demand justice, and the other side will decry the criticism and claim it was partisan and/or fake news.
The recent revelations about Puddin’ Head Joe and his penchant for leaving classified documents where they shouldn’t be has brought out the worst of this. People on the Right (including your humble correspondent in this case) think this is a criminal offense and should be prosecuted. Leftists, on the other hand, keep trying to defend Puddin’ Head Joe while trying to make distinctions between the current fuckup and the raid on Mar-a-Lago, which is the previous fuckup.
Throughout the online debates on the topic, I see the word “whataboutism” tossed around like a football at a Philadelphia Eagles game. That means it’s time we take a turn at trying to understand it, and hopefully have fun doing it.
whataboutism
What the Left thinks it means – a tactic used by the Right to equate events that are substantively different as a means to excuse right wing criminality
What it really means – a tactic that proves both major parties suck ass
Our good friends at Merriam Webster define whataboutism thus:
the act or practice of responding to an accusation of wrongdoing by claiming that an offense committed by another is similar or worse
Basically, whataboutism involves diversion and deflection. Instead of taking up the accusation directly, those who engage in it try to bring in something unrelated to the original accusation to get the person levying it to either get defensive or shut down completely.
Unfortunately, both the Left and the Right engage in whataboutism on a regular basis, which makes civil debate on social media next to impossible. Then again, it may be because these debates are being done on social media, where civility is as alien as E.T., or at the very least correct spelling. It is possible, mind you, but you’d have better luck surviving while having credible information that would implicate Hillary Clinton in criminal activity than you would be to actually converse with someone on a political issue.
For the record, I do not have any information on Hillary Clinton, so if you could take that red laser point dot off my forehead, I’d greatly appreciate it. Whew! Now that’s out of the way, back to the topic at hand.
The Left has been doing its usual bang-up job trying to create distance between Puddin’ Head Joe and Donald Trump’s handling of documents. This strategy has a two-fold benefit. First, it excuses Biden while leaving Trump open to criticism. Second, it enables the “whataboutism card” for the Left. If Leftists create enough of a difference in the minds of people who don’t follow current events that closely (i.e. 95% of Twitter users), they can downplay the potential criminality while redefining legitimate criticism as sour grapes.
The problem is these two separate incidents are similar enough to warrant equal scrutiny. Both are former government officials who had confidential documents in locations where they shouldn’t have been in the first place. Spin it any way you want, but the core issue is still the same. Where things get a bit cloudy is in what each official is allowed to declassify and how it was done. That’s a debate for another time (and possibly another blog post).
When you strip away all the partisan bullshit, you can’t call the Right’s outrage over Puddin’ Head Joe’s actions whataboutism because it’s literally the same thing Trump is being accused of. And, to be fair, the Right’s criticisms have more meat with regards to how the President is being treated right now because of the way Trump was treated, with the Left’s overwhelming approval. Even then, it’s hard to get past the whataboutism label completely here since there’s the element of an unequal response, which works in the Left’s favor.
At least, it does until you realize the Left wants there to be different and unequal rules for their side. But that’s to be expected. After all, they’re our moral and intellectual superiors (just ask them).
As long as there are partisan hacks on both sides willing to be intellectually dishonest, there will be whataboutism, and there will be accusations of whataboutism, legitimate or otherwise. We may even find it creeping into our own thinking at times when we let our passions override our logic. The key to overcoming this is to keep consistent when presented with a seemingly contradictory situation.
That’s why I say both Trump and Biden need to be held accountable, no matter what. Not only does it confuse the partisan asshats, but it keeps things nice and simple. Plus, it will make for some great snarking.
Regardless of how you feel about Puddin’ Head Joe, it’s hard to deny the classified documents situation he’s in looks bad, as in Lena Dunham nude pictorial in Playboy bad. That’s why I take the Left’s whataboutism defense of Joe not as seriously as they do. Even so, it’s far too easy a trap to get into with political and ideological differences, mainly because neither side wants to be consistent. They want their team protected and the other team prosecuted until the end of time. But bad behavior is bad behavior, no matter what team you’re on, and it needs to be called out even when the partisan jagoffs accuse you of whataboutism.
When they do, feel free to do what I do and tell them “What about you shut the fuck up?”
Tag: president donald trump
Papers, Please
To say it’s been a rough few months for Democrats is an understatement. Oh, they were able to stem the tide of the “Red Wave” (thanks in part to idiots like Mitch McConnell), but since then they’ve been accumulating L’s like the world’s unluckiest Scrabble player.
Recently, we heard about President Puddin’ Head Joe having classified documents in the possession of a think tank (an ironic contradiction if ever there was) and just now started turning them over. Of course, his staff knew about them on November 2, 2022, but hey. Why let a little something like having classified documents six years after leaving office disrupt an election that could determine how our country is governed for the next 2 years, amirite?
If that wasn’t bad enough, more classified documents were found in Biden’s home in Wilmington, Delaware. But don’t worry, folks. Ol’ Puddin’ Head Joe kept them perfectly safe, right next to his Corvette in his garage. And it just so happens, Joe’s son Hunter stayed at that residence for a time. Wow! If you can’t trust meth-heads with a penchant for underhanded deals and possible child porn on a laptop, who can you trust?
As you might expect, Leftists leapt into action…to say a) the documents were planted, b) Donald Trump is much worse, c) Joe is cooperating, and d) it was just a mistake.
How’s that boot tasting, Leftists?
As more and more comes out about this story, the more and more Leftists want to push it under the rug, even going to far as to say this scandal might take attention away from investigations into Republican wrongdoing. Then again, it was CNN saying that, so take it with a Lake City of Salt.
Since the Right doesn’t have memories like ferrets hooked on meth, people have been bringing up how the Trump and Biden document scandals are being handled. Which, of course, prompted the Left to come up with all sorts of Oktoberfest-level pretzel logic to explain why it’s just different, okay? But is it? Let’s find out.
As President, Donald Trump had the authority to declassify documents within a specific scope, hopefully with more reasoning than “because shut up.” Some things can be declassified under different provisions within the government and by following the proper procedures. We can debate whether Trump and his team followed those procedures another time because the point is he had the authority to declassify.
The Vice-President, on the other hand, can only declassify documents he (or now she) classified or generated by his/her office. Without knowing what was found at Puddin’ Head Joe’s office, home, and garage, we can’t really tell whether he followed the process correctly. Knowing him, he forgot all about it.
As far as what former Executive officials can take with them, well…that’s where things get a bit murky. (Surprise, surprise.) There are some requirements and loopholes for Presidents and Vice-Presidents with regards to classified documents. Again, the lack of specific details gives Joe a bit of breathing room legally.
Having said that, Puddin’ Head Joe’s got some ‘splainin’ to do. If what has been reported so far is accurate (and I can’t say for certain that it is), some of the documents in question had to deal with Iran, Ukraine, and the United Kingdom, as well as China. Now, I may be wrong here, but at least half of the countries mentioned don’t like us and one of them loves us…as long as we keep giving them money and guns. No word on if Ukraine is accepting our lawyers yet, but I’ll keep you posted.
And if you got that reference, you are officially old. And cool as hell.
While the way these documents came to light differs greatly from the raid on Mar-a-Lago, it’s important not to lose sight of the basic facts here: Puddin’ Head Joe had classified documents in his possession and failed to do his due diligence in returning them or notifying the proper authorities that he had them.
Before you Leftists give me this “he turned them in as soon as he found out” bullshit, let me remind you his term as Vice-President ended six years ago. And during that time, his meth-head son has access to those documents, which in and of itself is a security risk. Not to mention, Biden didn’t come forward with these documents as soon as he found out. He waited two more months after they were discovered.
If you flipped your shit over Trump holding onto classified documents for a year and a half, your shit better be doing a Cirque du Soleil routine if you want to remain consistent. If you’re not, then take a seat. In fact, take all of the seats. Especially that old dusty one in the corner, the one with the ripped upholstery.
And while we’re here, remember how Leftists got so concerned about whether Trump was selling nuclear secrets since some of the documents seized were allegedly about a foreign country’s nuclear capabilities? I do. It was a Neal Peart drum solo of drumbeats from the Left lamenting about how Trump was guilty (without evidence of anything happening, mind you) and still allowed to walk freely amongst the people (see previous comment in parens for the reason). Now, these hawkish Leftists aren’t squawking so much. Even known Leftist and fuckknuckle Joy Behar said we give Puddin’ Head Joe the benefit of the doubt because, essentially, he’s not Trump.
No, Joe isn’t like Trump. Trump wasn’t fucking stupid enough to put classified documents in a fucking garage!
Anyway, we’re in for a shitshow as more information about Puddin’ Head Joe’s classified documents come to light and the Left tries to explain it all way without success. I wouldn’t hold my breath waiting on an FBI raid of Joe’s home anytime soon.
Unless they find more on Hunter, that is.
Leftist Lexicon Word of the Week
If you’re like me (and if you are, I’m sorry), you’re getting sick of political ads polluting the airwaves right now. It seems any infraction from an overdue library book in third grade to supporting extreme positions like expecting teachers not to indoctrinate their students into believing they’re transgendered when they still get nap time gets turned into a massive scandal designed to make voters not like a particular candidate. And sometimes these attacks play fast and loose with the facts.
And by sometimes, I mean more frequently than Lindsey Lohan goes back to rehab.
Recently, the Left has rolled out a phrase to describe Republican and conservative candidates who have questions about the 2020 Presidential election went down: election deniers. Although this seems like a silly accusation, the Left is pretty serious about making it stick to as many Republican candidates and their supporters as possible. Which, of course, means it caught my attention.
election deniers
What the Left thinks it means – crazy conspiracy theorists, usually Trump Republicans, who believe the 2020 Presidential election wasn’t legitimate
What it really means – a phrase used to disparage Republicans and conservatives for not accepting the Leftist spin on the 2020 Presidential election
There are two camps with regards to the 2020 Presidential election: those who believe it was the most secure election in our history, and those who have been paying attention. To put it as diplomatically as I can, the election itself was a shitshow of Golgothan proportions. While under the auspices of an election (something Leftists swore up and down Donald Trump would never allow as he installed himself as Big Head Honcho For Life) held during a pandemic, there was some shady shit going on by both teams…I mean parties.
Although the Leftist line has gone from “there wasn’t any systemic voter fraud” to “there was some, but it’s not significant,” they maintain anyone who questions the legitimacy of the 2020 Presidential election is a loony. Pardon my pedantry for a moment, but wouldn’t the fact there was voter fraud undermine the notion the 2020 election was hunky-dory? Whether it was significant enough to affect the outcome of the election is immaterial because it’s not the scope that matters in the end. Well, except if you’re a proctologist performing a colonoscopy, that is.
I will admit much of the election denial right now is coming from the Right, particularly those on the Trump Train. But I also remember waaaaaaaaay back in 2016 when Leftists were engaged in a little election denial of their own, including current White House Press Secretary Karine Jean-Pierre. Granted, she is an idiot, but surely that was an isolated incident, right?
Not. So. Much.
In fact, Leftists and Democrats have a long list of election denials themselves dating back to the 2000 election. To this day, I’m worried there is a male porn star named Hanging Chad out there still getting work, but that’s not important right now.
And let’s not overlook (as if that’s humanly possible) the most prominent election denier the Left has, Stacey Abrams. After being defeated by her Republican opponent for Governor of Georgia, she not only denied she lost, but turned it into a political action movement, a book deal, a cameo on an episode of “Star Trek: Discovery,” and more magazine covers and puff pieces than Michelle Obama. And all that while being Governor of Georgia, no less! Oh wait…
So, Leftists are hypocrites when it comes to election denial, which is no surprise to anyone with Interwebs access and a memory longer than a TikTok video. This leads us to the question of why they’ve switched opinions and now think denying election results is bad. Well, it comes down to power, which is the coin of the Leftist realm. Well, that and incredibly shitty takes on how to fix the problems they cause. When the Left is on the outside looking in, it’s okay to question even the most lopsided Republican victories because, according to the Left, Republicans can’t win elections without cheating. However, when the Left is in power, questioning the elections is tantamount to treason or, even worse, wearing white after Labor Day.
Even if it can be established there were some irregularities in the vote count.
If the Left’s turn of a phrase reminds you of something, it should, since it’s the same language they use when discussing global climate change/climate disruption/climate catastrophes/whatever the Left is calling it this nanosecond. The idea behind it is to suggest anyone who disagrees with the “facts” (i.e. what the Left wants us to believe) is disreputable and denies reality. Yet, these same Leftists who claim to have the facts on their side go out of their ways to suppress any information that runs counter to their conclusions. They’ve gone so far as to ratchet up the rhetoric to 11 (because it’s one higher) by calling them science deniers. Not only are you denying climate change, but you are denying science as a whole. Who could listen to crackpots like that?
Me, for one. I am by nature curious and I want to gather as much information as I can before rendering a decision. Through that, I’ve learned to pick out questionable information and information sources when they don’t make sense. And calling someone a “denier” when there’s a vested interest in doing so is a big red flag.
With the 2020 elections, both sides have a vested interest in either confirming or rejecting the outcome, so it’s a wash. But right now there’s only one side making a case that has identifiable and verifiable flaws from the jump, and, spoiler alert, it’s the side who spent every year since 2016 saying the election results were rigged and doing everything they can to turn the Presidential election into a popular vote contest. If there are any Leftists reading this (or having it be read to you because of all the big words being used) who are confused about who these people are, look in the mirror.
The larger point, however, is the “word magic” being used to get people to squelch any concerns they have about the 2020 election by appealing to popularity and authority. Eagle-eyed readers will remember these are logical fallacies designed to give the impression of being correct without having to go through that pesky task of presenting facts. After all, the Socialist Socialite told us it was better to be morally right than factually correct, and who are we to disagree with her?
That, kids, is an example of what I’m talking about with appeals to authority and popularity. We are being told to ignore our gut instincts if we think something’s not kosher because it will lead to ridicule and disgrace (often hurled in our direction by those telling us to ignore our instincts). Maybe it’s me, but the surest way to make me more skeptical is to tell me not to pay attention to the man behind the curtain. The fact Leftists are working so hard to avoid addressing at least some of the questions surrounding Joe Biden’s victory tells me they know they’re bullshitting us.
But to be fair, they’ve had a lot on their plates investigating Donald Trump for having Russian dressing on a salad he ate in 1998. But once they’re done with that, I’m sure they’ll have time for answer the questions. Granted, it will be 2638, and that’s only if the investigation into Trump laughing at a Yakov Smirnoff set wraps up early.
In the meantime, the best way to address the Left painting anyone as an election denier can be summarized in two words: So what? This question is one the Left can’t answer without looking like authoritarian assholes or dishonest assholes. Or assholes in general, but the point’s the same. They don’t know why anyone would disagree with them and they’re not interested in finding out, but they’re heavily invested in making sure no one questions them.
But their tactics only work if you are scared of the consequences. If you gave your last fuck at the office and have no intention of getting more, you remove the fear and subsequently the power the Left wants you to believe they have. And if you want to have more fun, tell them you self-identify as something and their questioning is harassment and, thus, violence. And make them use your pronouns!
No matter what the Left tries to tell you, there are some loose ends related to the 2020 Presidential election that haven’t been tied up yet. As Americans, we can and should ask questions until we get answers that make sense or are persuasive enough to make us look at the situation differently. Even if we don’t like the answers we ultimately get, knowledge is about the journey and not the destination. And maybe even the friends we made along the way.
Except Jeff. He’s an asshole.
Leftist Lexicon Word of the Week – Special Edition!
By the time you read this, we will be celebrating or will have just celebrated a pivotal holiday in America. It’s a day to remember the sacrifices of so many to make our country a better place. I’m speaking, of course, of the start of college football.
Oh, and there’s also Labor Day.
Labor Day was established to celebrate the contributions of working Americans, and as you might expect, Leftists are quick to champion those working Americans. Or do they?
working Americans
What the Left thinks it means – the backbone of this country, people who constantly get fucked over by the corrupt rich and corporations
What it really means – a wide swath of Americans who constantly get fucked over by the corrupt Left
If you listen to Leftists (and I wouldn’t recommend it unless you have a stiff drink or five), the only ones fighting for the working men and women are Leftists. They work so hard to get middle class tax cuts, only to be thwarted at every turn by those evil Republicans who are in the back pockets of the greedy rich. It’s all they can do for the people we rely on so much to make the country run as smoothly as possible.
Which is complete bullshit.
Oh, I know there are hard-working Americans out there because I am one. But the Left’s fawning over folks like us is phonier than a Karine Jean-Pierre excuse for why the country is on proverbial fire right now. Leftists have a healthy contempt for working folks, and no matter how many flannel shirts, blue jeans, and hard hats they wear, they can’t escape their attitudes or looking like a member of the Village People.
As frequent readers know or have figured out on their own, the Left hates anyone who isn’t them. Meaning, rich white Leftists. Everyone else is treated like pawns to be moved across the political chessboard as the elites see fit. Granted, the Right does this as well, but not to the extent and levels of deception the Left does. And when it comes to the game, the Left is Garry Kasparov.
The way Leftists deceive…I mean persuade people of their pro-worker stance is by playing into their emotions, namely greed and jealousy. After all, if working people are struggling, it has to be because someone is stealing from them and living the high life. It can’t possibly be any other reason!
Wellllll…except that it can, and a lot of times it’s because of what the Left proposes to “help” people. More on that later.
By playing into our natural negative emotions and setting up a nameless, faceless villain, the Left sets itself up to be our white knights. And although they profess to be fighting for all of us, they actually don’t. They like working folks who belong to labor unions and consistently vote for Leftists, even if it winds up shooting themselves in the foot with a Gatling gun.
Personally, I’ve seen this contempt for working Americans for a couple of decades, but it’s only recently that the contempt has been more overt, provided you know what to look for. And there is no better textbook on this than Thomas Frank’s What’s the Matter with Kansas? Fortunately, I read it so you don’t have to because, dammit, I care! (Actually, it was because I was curious to see what Frank had to say about conservatives in the Midwest, but I still care.)
I can summarize Frank’s entire book in one sentence: Conservatives have conned working people, and only Leftists can save them.
There. I saved you time, money, and emergency room visits for blunt head trauma from hitting your head against a wall repeatedly.
Frank’s attitude towards people living in the state he came from, merely for voting for Republicans, drips off each and every page. Although he does blame Democrats for sounding and acting fiscally conservative in order to win elections, he saves the bulk of his venom for conservatives who he felt corrupted politics in the state to work against the best interests of the voters.
The reason Frank’s screed…I mean book is a great example of the Left’s hatred of working Americans is because it exposes the rift between what the Left knows about working Americans and what working Americans actually are. What Frank attributes to conservatives convincing people to ignore their best interests is actually conservatives listening to working people and proposing ideas that they might actually like.
And judging from how well the Left has been dealing with the election of Donald Trump in 2016, they still haven’t figured it out. While the Trump Administration wasn’t exactly the best and brightest, they did get quite a few things right, including cutting taxes for working Americans. And contrary to what Leftists want us to believe, those tax cuts weren’t just for the wealthy. According to the IRS, middle class and working class people benefited the most from Trump’s tax cuts.
Then, Joe Biden rolled into town and undid all of that. Yay?
Of course, the Administration had answers for just about every concern we had about rising costs and how to address them. A lot of them involved, surprise surprise, initiatives the Biden Administration and Leftists want. Worried about rising gas prices? Get an electric car! And if you’re still concerned, just laugh! Having trouble paying for groceries? It’s Russia’s fault! Supply chain problems? Spend more on infrastructure! Unemployed? Support green energy!
I haven’t seen anyone this tone deaf since William Hung, and we’re being run by several of these assclowns. But, hey, no mean tweets, amirite?
Yet, for all of the answers the Left seem to have, few of them actually apply to working Americans. The only thing preventing Republicans from getting more working class voters is they’re incompetent when it comes to closing the sale. For all of his faults, Donald Trump at least made an attempt, which is more than a previous Republican Presidential candidate and rich guy, Mitt Romney, did in 2012. Guess what? It fucking worked!
Right now the door is wide open for Republicans and conservatives to make the sale they might be better for working Americans than the Left is. The Left is too busy focusing on social issues that turn off many Americans and finding new ways to fuck up the country to bother with Joe Sixpack’s problems. Trump gave the GOP a blueprint, much to the chagrin of people like Romney, whose version of a Republican President is as exciting as mayonnaise.
While Republicans try to figure out how to attract working Americans and Leftist try to find new ways to screw them, the working class are left with financial problems, rising costs, and more broken promises than a treaty with Native Americans in the 1800s. And the only way that changes is if working Americans are open to change their thinking. Many of them are locked into voting for Democrats because it’s what they and their families have always done. It’s like a rite of passage, only with more bureaucracy. As Donald Trump said in 2016 when asked why working people should vote for him, “What have you got to lose?”
Given how expensive things are now, we can’t do any worse.
Let’s Go Dark Brandon?
It really shouldn’t amaze me the Left isn’t all that original, but even this one had me shaking my head. There’s a new hero on the Left, one of mythical proportions, a man (but I’m not a biologist) who kicks ass, takes names, and looks damn good doing it. His name is…Dark Brandon.
What started out as a way to try to spin out of a “Fuck Joe Biden” chant at a NASCAR event became a cultural phenomenon extending well beyond the political realm. So much so the Left had to co-opt it after spending months decrying the phrase. You know, just like they did with Err…I’m sorry, Air America during the height of conservative talk radio.
You know, I wonder what happened to those plucky progressives trying to give people an alternative to Rush Limbaugh. Oh, yeah, they closed their doors in 2010. But I’m sure they won’t make the same mistake by co-opting a chant from the Right, right?
Not so much.
Although I wasn’t keen on “Let’s Go Brandon,” I could understand the appeal. After all, more than a few people think Joe Biden should go fuck himself especially after everything he’s done to fuck us. And in the aftermath of 4 years of Donald Trump and his supporters feeling empowered to shout back at the Left, old habits die hard…in Minecraft.
The chants still go on, albeit less frequently than when it first became part of the political lexicon (see what I did there!). So, what better time than when the fad is starting to die down (in Minecraft) to start reframing it?
What the Left lacks in timeliness they make up for in lame ideas. And if Dark Brandon were a horse, it would already be glue (in Minecraft).
Leftists have power fantasies that would make Sigmund Freud go to therapy. They need to control as much as possible, including people. Naturally, that means they tend to gravitate towards people and ideas they see as powerful and expect the sheer force of that power to silence opposition. More often than not, the perception of force is enough to make people back down, which feeds their egos and makes them believe they are as powerful as they think they are. When that doesn’t work, they pull out all the stops to flex on you, including whining to social media platforms about how you’re a meanie-head.
Ultimately, though, when they can’t get what they want, Leftists will find a way to scratch that control freak itch, even if they have to create an alternate reality to make it happen. That’s where the Dark Brandon persona comes into play. Leftists haven’t been happy with the way Joe Biden hasn’t gone after Republicans (at least, not until recently) and have suggested he’s too polite. After getting pissed at “Let’s Go Brandon” (and the President getting more than a little confused about who this Brandon guy is), the Left started leaning into it a bit more.
Thus, Dark Brandon was born.
Dark Brandon is everything Joe Biden isn’t. He’s decisive, aggressive towards his political enemies, tells it like it is, and lost all semblance of giving a fuck a long time ago. And Leftists are eating it up. But here’s the kicker. Dark Brandon isn’t a dark alternative version of Joe Biden; he’s a Leftist Donald Trump. And just like with Err America, the progressive copy is vastly inferior to the original.
As much as the Left wants the President to go on the offensive, they’re only making the argument why Donald Trump should get a second term as President. (That, and the economy being so far in the shitter, you’ll need to go spelunking to find the bottom.) Make no mistake, though. The Left was never against mean tweets, just mean tweets about them. They’re perfectly willing to go lower than a snake’s cock ring when it suits them.
But here’s the part I’m not sure the Left understands yet, if they ever will. By creating Dark Brandon and fawning over him and what he represents, Leftists are admitting the Biden Administration has been a failure. They’ll say it’s because Biden doesn’t go far enough Left, but it’s really because he’s truly not capable of leading a one-person parade, let alone the United States. Of course, this was obvious to anyone who paid attention to his career as a politician, but no one expects the Left to stay informed on current events, or events over 45 years, for that matter.
Either way, the Left embracing Dark Brandon right now encapsulates the problems they face right now right before the midterm elections. Not only will they have to defend Biden’s record, but they’ll have to figure out how to reconcile the fantasy they’ve created and the reality of how bad Biden’s done so far.
Good luck with that.
Leftist Lexicon Word of the Week
If you think you’ve had a hectic week, just think of the week former President Donald Trump had. His social calendar (if not his Truth Social account) were a bit on the busy side, what with the FBI raiding…I mean visiting Mar-a-Lago looking for classified documents allegedly on the premises. Granted, I’m not sure who would want to hurt a Lago, let alone mar one, but that’s neither here nor there.
To say the Federal Bureau of Investigation has been in hot water in recent years is like saying President Joe Biden has a small problem with plagiarism: it’s accurate, but not nearly to the right magnitude. Now with the FBI under scrutiny again after their Mar-a-Lago visit, it’s as good a time as any to take a closer look at the agency.
the FBI
What the Left thinks it means – the most powerful law enforcement agency in America, full of hard working men and women upholding our laws and trying to stop criminals
What it really means – Barney Fife with less supervision
It wasn’t that long ago the FBI had a good reputation. In between J. Edgar Hoover’s trips to Victoria’s Secret, they managed to bring down criminals, keep the country relatively safe, and inspire young and old alike to be good citizens. But as all good things do, the image got some tarnish on it with some highly questionable decisions, like investigating and working against Martin Luther King, Jr. because Hoover thought he had Communist ties. (No word on if MLK had the matching suspenders.)
One could say the FBI’s image as beacons of law started to erode when Americans’ trust in government did. Watergate opened up the floodgates (if you’ll pardon the pun, and even if you don’t) as well as more than a few eyes to see the Emperor wasn’t wearing anything and Hoover himself was wearing a lace teddy and stiletto heels.
Okay, I’ve officially creeped myself out there.
From there, the agency could only watch as fewer and fewer people trusted the FBI. Of course, a history of domestic spying might make people a little paranoid…
Oddly enough, it was Leftists for the longest time who cried out the most about the FBI’s abuse of power, and with good reason. What the FBI did in the name of justice made a mockery of it in the worst way and caused serious damage to our nation for spurious reasons. But somewhere between then and now, the Left decided the FBI wasn’t so bad after all. And I think it started when Leftists ditched the love beads and Nehru jackets and put on suits and dress shoes to start working within the system they rallied against for so long. Either that or someone developed a strain of pot that made people want to join the FBI.
Saaaaaay…I might be onto something there!
Either way, when Leftists found their ways into positions of power, they did what they do best: fuck it all up through politics. Over time, the FBI has replaced actual justice with social justice and became tools of not the powerful, but the power-hungry. And thanks to the FBI, they ate very well, figuratively and literally.
As you might expect, the FBI found out it had a taste for power, too. I mean, when you are the most powerful law enforcement agency in the country and people can’t Karen their way into getting a supervisor, you tend to feel invulnerable. Oh, and did I mention they practically have unlimited funds thanks to the generosity of our Congresscritters? With that kind of power and money, you would hope the agency would work effectively.
And you’d be wrong. Here is a brief list of notable failures over the FBI’s recent history.
– ignoring red flags that Nikolas Cruz was likely to commit a crime, which lead to the Parkland, Florida, school shootings (Making David Hogg a national figure should be grounds to defund the FBI.)
– not following up on sexual abuse allegations against gymnastics doctor Larry Nassar, resulting in high-profile gymnasts making the issue public to get attention on the allegations and the agency’s failures
– playing a game of cyber chicken with Apple trying to force/coerce them into unlocking an iPhone belonging to one of the San Bernardino shooters and exposing proprietary technology
– the disastrous events of Waco and Ruby Ridge
– the bungled investigation into Hillary Clinton’s emails
Ranker lists 10 more beyond these, and Wikipedia has tons more, but you see the point. Our top cops make the Uvalde Police Department look like the cops on any of the 428 “CSI” programs on CBS right now. (I’m particularly a fan of “CSI: Nome.” Not a lot of cases, but the ones they get are intense!)
Of course with all of the negative attention around the FBI in recent years, FBI agents have hurt fee-fees. No matter what they do or what successes they have, people still like used car salesmen more than the FBI. First off, welcome to adulthood. Second, people might have a higher opinion of you if you didn’t constantly fuck up.
Which brings us to the raid on Mar-a-Lago. Although the Left ate up that red meat like a hungry lion (or Ron Swanson wanting a light snack), there are some serious questions to be answered, and our good friends at the FBI aren’t quick on providing them. More superficially, however, it just doesn’t look good. The more we discover about how the warrant was issued, the worse it gets for the FBI. Seriously, the only way it could have looked any more anti-Trump would be if Peter Strzok and Lisa Page were running it with James Comey riding shotgun.
And that’s a major issue for me. Politics and law enforcement don’t mix very well because at some point the former will hinder the latter. There is a reason Justice is blind, and it’s not so bribes can be taken under the table. It’s so every person is considered equal under the law, whether you’re Nancy Pelosi’s husband or Joe Sixpack. Unfortunately, though, our justice system is full of ideologically-driven people looking to recreate the law in their own images.
Guess which federal law enforcement agency with a three-letter abbreviation has that problem right now.
For the Left, that’s the perfect breeding ground. Almost unlimited funding, almost unlimited power, the intimidation factor, and a well-documented movement to reform law enforcement to make it more Leftist-friendly. No wonder the Left has been so quick to defend the FBI lately: it’s on their side. Just remember, Leftists were the ones who came to Strzok and Page’s defense, saying their text message on phones that belonged to the government (i.e. us) were private and shouldn’t be made public.
Even though these text exposed them as being anti-Trump and overtly willing to undermine his election.
Oh, well. I’m sure the FBI will get right on that investigation as soon as they charge more January 6 protestors for crimes that would normally get a slap on the wrist instead of years in jail awaiting sentencing.
Right now, the Federal Bureau of Investigation is Fucked Beyond Infinity because it’s lost sight of what it’s job and duties actually are. Nothing short of a wholesale refurbish would solve the problems the FBI has right now, but as long as the Left has its tentacles in it, nothing like that will occur. Unless it’s to get rid of conservative FBI agents, of course. They’re super-duper-dangerous, what with their belief in the Constitution and following the laws as written.
In the meantime, the best advice I can give is to not catch a federal charge. If you do, be prepared to enter a world of pain unlike anything you’ve seen since the last Pauly Shore standup show.
Beep Beep
The January 6th Committee has experienced a few problems bringing their case before the American people on national television. I mean, aside from not having much of a case to begin with. It seems the American people don’t care about what they have to say, judging by the ratings. But there’s a much bigger blow to their credibly than having Adam Schiff be a part of the proceedings.
It started with the Committee trying to convince us it wasn’t going to be a partisan witchhunt by…telling us repeatedly how non-partisan they were. Of course, this raised more red flags than a military parade in China. First off, too many of the particulars, including the two Republicans on the Committee, have already stated their objections to former President Donald Trump prior to the Committee’s creation. And by “objections” I mean “frothing-at-the-mouth insane partisan ramblings.”
Now, if this were anything other than a political sideshow, this might be seen as poisoning the well. Since it is a political sideshow, poisoning the well is not only allowed, but actively encouraged. After all, the Committee’s role is to get to the bottom of what happened without actually looking at all of the factors. And with House Democrats actively denying the picks of House Minority Leader Kevin McCarthy on the notion the picks were active participants in the “insurrection,” it was always going to end up being a one-sided affair.
My expectations were low enough as they were, but fuck me with a pine cone, I never figured the Committee would figure out a way to limbo under them and still have room for beehive hairdos. Although I failed to predict the length the Committee would go to secure its place in Wasted Taxpayer Money on Stupid Shit Only a Fraction of People Care About history, there was no doubt in my mind it would happen.
I don’t mean to toot my own horn to people who thought the January 6th Committee was a bunch of fact-finders trying to make the case President Trump incited an insurrection, but…beep beep.
Should He Stay or Should He Go?
One of the most pressing political questions on people’s minds right now (aside from how much Nancy Pelosi has had to drink) is whether former President Donald Trump will run for President in 2024. That may be a closely guarded secret, even moreso than the Nancy Pelosi question. A lot of people are sure he’s going to run while others are convinced he’s either not going to run or will be in prison by 2024, thus making it a moot point.
The fact is no one knows for sure. I’m not even sure if Trump knows yet, but in the interest of whipping up more wild speculation online, I did some thinking on the subject and I think I have some points to consider. Granted, I’m not inside the former President’s head, so I can’t say for certain what you’re about to read is accurate, but I can tell you it’s bound to be a lot more accurate than any reporting done by Vox. (A low bar, sure, but hey, I gotta start somewhere.)
He’s Running
1) His base is still pretty strong – Contrary to Leftist belief, Donald Trump still remains pretty popular within Republican and conservative ranks. The fact he still polls higher than most candidates after being out of office is a testament to his staying power within the GOP. And his supporters are still on board the Trump Train, no matter what. Honestly, I’d have to go back to Ronald Reagan to find a Republican with that kind of supporter loyalty, which is a testament to Trump.
2) He’ll be running against a weak field on both sides – Let’s face it. Neither major party has a deep bench going into 2024. On the Left we have President Joe Biden, who I’m not sure knows he is President, and possibly Vice President Kamala Harris, whose word salads make Biden look like William F. Buckley. Although there may be more challengers to the left of Biden and Harris, they may not jump into the race out of fear of being Bernie Sanders-ed. On the other side of the aisle, no one seems to be jumping out as a front runner. There is talk of Florida Governor Ron DeSantis being a front-runner for the Republicans, but as of yet, there has been no confirmation he’s running. That leaves Donald Trump to fill the void.
3) Unfinished business – In recent decades, we’ve gotten used to Presidents serving two terms, which makes it easier for Presidents to postpone certain pet projects until later in his Presidency. With Joe Biden winning in 2020, that interrupts or completely scuttles Trump’s plans…or does it? If Trump feels he has more to do, he may throw his hat into the ring as a means to get things done, and with 4 more years, it will be interesting to see what he takes on and how quickly it gets done. Operation Warp Speed may get left in the dust.
4) Sticking it to the Left – If there’s one thing Donald Trump is good at, it’s tweaking the Left. If you though Leftists’ heads exploded the first time, wait until Trump runs again, even if it’s just to get a predictable response out of them. If life gave out achievements like video games do, Trump would get the Trolling Leftists achievement without even really trying.
5) New voting laws for old voter fraud – In the aftermath of the 2020 election, some Republican-lead states enacted new voting laws, much to the chagrin of the Left. In spite of their caterwauling, Republicans put together some pretty solid proposals to restrict voter fraud where possible while taking some of the Left’s concerns about access to the polls into consideration. Since Trump’s post-Presidency legacy has revolved around voter fraud, he may use this as a platform to reenter the Presidential race and whip up support for this pet project.
He’s Not Running
1) Been there, done that – Trump has already been President once, and it’s caused a lot of headaches for him and his family, due in no small part to Leftists. At this point, even he has to wonder if it was worth it the first time around. To run again and possibly win opens up old wounds, rekindles old rivalries, and creates another level of emotional strain. Being President even once isn’t wussy work, and it takes a strong resolve and a stronger family to do it twice. Since he’s been President once, there may not be a desire to do it again.
2) The DeSantis factor – I know I mentioned Ron DeSantis earlier as not being in the race yet, but the possibility of him entering the race can’t be discounted yet. Since becoming Governor, DeSantis has shown many of the positive traits Trump supporters love while mitigating some of the negative traits that hurt Trump. From a strategic standpoint, if DeSantis can deliver the Trump agenda without the drawbacks, it may be better for the former President to step aside and delegate authority.
3) He’s a known entity – One of the things that frustrated the Left in 2016 was how Trump was able to beat Hillary Clinton. Although he’s spent a lot of time in the public eye (sometimes for the wrong reasons), there were still a lot of question marks surrounding his political savvy. In 4 years, though, many of those question marks have been answered because we’ve seen how he governed. He no longer has the element of surprise he did in 2016. Without it, he is more vulnerable.
4) The Agony of Defeat – It’s no secret Donald Trump has an ego, as do most politicians. What sets him apart from most politicians is how much of his ego is wrapped up in what he’s done or able to do. It was evident from when he was dealing in real estate in the 80s, when he was starring in “The Apprentice,” and when he was sitting in the White House. As such, the 2020 election loss stung him. This sets up a conflict within himself should he run again. His ego will not accept him losing a second time, but it may force him to run again to avenge the loss. Regardless of the decision, the possibility of losing again may be a deciding factor in whether he runs in 2024.
5) Voter fraud is still a concern – In spite of the aforementioned new voting laws, Leftists still have ways to play the system, thanks to our old friend Uncle George Soros. As we saw in 2020, it’s not only important to have the votes to win, but to have people in place to certify you have the votes to win. That’s where Uncle George has placed a lot of his faith (and more than a few dollars and candidates). Even with the new laws, voter fraud may be a concern, one that Trump may not be able to overcome.
I’m sure there are some factors I’ve missed, but I think I’ve hit enough of the big ones to get people to think and offer up their own wild-ass speculations!
Leftist Lexicon Word of the Week
The past seven days has been rift with excitement, high hopes, and general giddiness from the Left because of one group of imbeciles…I mean Congresscritters: the January 6th Committee. After two long and expensive years, we are finally going to get to the truth about former President Donald Trump and the insurrection that brought this country to its knees!
At least, that’s what we’re being told. And we know Leftists would never lie or get people’s hopes up for no reason. That reminds me, has anyone seen Robert Mueller lately?
While we wait for the aftermath of the committee’s prime-time extravaganza, let’s see if we can’t pull off a Carnac the Magnificent performance by looking at the committee as a whole.
the January 6th Committee
What the Left thinks it means – a bipartisan effort to hold Donald Trump and his followers accountable for trying to overthrow the government
What it really means – a waste of time and money to get back at Donald Trump and his followers for winning the 2016 election
If there’s one thing the government knows how to do, it’s how to waste money (although, taking away our rights through pointless regulation is a close second). One of the ways they do this, or both for that matter, is through creating special committees to investigate one issue or another. And if it’s a hot button issue, you can bet your bottom dollar that isn’t already spoken for by the IRS that someone in Washington will say, “You know, we should form a committee to investigate why dogs lift their legs to pee.”
I didn’t say they were good hot button issues.
In the aftermath of the “insurrection” on January 6th, Leftists came up with the idea to investigate why it happened and who was responsible for it. Of course, they already “knew” Donald Trump was involved because…well, Donald Trump. So, like they do with global warming/climate change/climate catastrophes/whatever buzzword is popular with the Green New Deal crowd this microsecond, they worked backwards in the hopes they would find something that would produce the necessary linkage between Trump and the events of January 6th.
And after almost a year of public statements, committee meetings, and promises to bring people to justice, the January 6th Committee has…a TV special. Not the good kind like “A Charlie Brown Christmas” or “Frank Zappa’s Polka-Palooza,” either. We’re talking “Al Gore Reads War and Peace Live” levels of crapitude. Listen, nothing says “this is not a serious bunch of folks” like getting a TV producer to help make the message understandable and appealing to the general public. Hell, most of the public today doesn’t even watch network TV for the same reason they don’t take a drink out of the toilets at Chipotle: they’re full of shit.
Much like the politicians comprising the committee, appropriately enough. Looking at their roster there is a who-cares of political operatives, puffed up egos, and useful idiots. And that’s just Adam Schiff, the House Democrat partially responsible for the dreadful first impeachment trial of Donald Trump. Oh, and I forgot to mention he leaks more than a saggy diaper.
But he’s not the only subpar superstar here. There’s also Jamie Raskin, the House Democrat partially responsible for the even worse second impeachment trial of Donald Trump. (I’m sensing a pattern here.) The other House Democrats on board aren’t much better, ranging from the chairman of the Homeland Security Committee (not a bad get, to be fair) to someone whose main accomplishment to date has been…being friends with Nancy Pelosi.
But don’t think the Democrats are the only ones having fun picking committee members! They have two Republicans, Liz Cheney and Adam Kinzinger, to give the illusion of bipartisanship without sacrificing any of the committee’s lack of reputation and gravitas. Yes, I know most House Republicans refused to assist with this clown show…I mean committee, but that’s not without reason. For one, the members House Minority Leader Kevin McCarthy suggested were shot down by House Democrats because, and I’m paraphrasing here, they didn’t want conspirators to the crime investigating it. More importantly, however, most House Republicans see what Cheney and Kinzinger didn’t: their presence was meant to be a distraction to give the impression the committee was a true bipartisan effort.
This is where I have to step in and clarify a point that often gets misunderstood by Leftists. Not all Leftists play for the blue team. Some Republicans have adopted Leftist thinking and tried to mold it into the main party by any means necessary. The problem is not every Leftist Republican is as overt as Alaska Senator Lisa Murkowski. Some of them like Florida Senator Marco Rubio seem like rock-ribbed Republicans, but would be just fine with Big Daddy Government as long as they are running it. Just look up his changing positions on “common-good conservatism” and tell me he’s not willing to be an ideological switch hitter if the power grab was right.
And now, back to my rant on the January 6th Committee already in progress.
Both Kinzinger and Cheney are on the committee to a) give the illusion it’s actually bipartisan, b) give the Left some measure of cover against legitimate complaints as to the committee’s political ends, and c) stick it to Trump Republicans. But it’s this last reason that seems to be the prevailing one. As I mentioned earlier, the January 6th Committee is one big “fuck you” to Donald Trump after he beat Hillary Clinton in 2016. We can argue from now until “Firefly” gets a second season about whether it was a good idea to elect Trump, but it cannot be denied the Left has a raging hate-boner for him and the people who support him. While the committee itself has their collective hands on the table, the Department of Justice has been arresting protesters for various crimes, some legit, most bullshit, and have been keeping them in custody indefinitely. Basically, they’re being treated slightly better than suspected terrorists at Gitmo. And unlike the suspected terrorists, these protesters are American citizens with rights that are being denied by the very government investigating their actions.
All because Donald Trump beat Hillary Clinton.
This isn’t to say there weren’t some idiots who took things too far because, well, there were. Their crimes should be prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law. Where I draw the line is calling what the majority of protesters did (peaceably assemble and not cause a fuss) an insurrection as a jumping off point for a mockery of justice wrapped in national security bunting. The entire premise of the January 6th Committee is predicated on the idea there was an actual threat to democracy (which we’ve never had in America) as presented by these protesters.
And that, dear readers, is bullshit.
No matter what the January 6th Committee televised special says or shows, it’s hard to overlook the numerous problems the committee has created merely by taking a bogus narrative and running with it like it was being chased by the defensive secondary of the Los Angeles Rams. But the best is yet to come. After being hyped as the end-all-and-be-all of investigations into the January 6th situation, committee aides are walking it back slightly, saying the TV special is an “opening argument” according to the Washington Post.
Oh, good. There may be more of this shit coming to TV screens near you. Yay?
The biggest problem I have with the committee (I mean aside from the laundry list I’ve already spewed for your reading pleasure) is it doesn’t seem to be serious in its stated mission. The fact Adam Schiff is allowed to get coffee for the committee, let alone have one of the seats on it, should outrage anyone with two brain cells to rub together. In other words, non-Leftists.
And with the committee’s TV special, their lack of seriousness is confirmed. Why in the hell would they need to televise what most people already know if they’ve been following the story? Why has the investigation been solely in one direction while ignoring actions from Democrat leaders that exacerbated the situation? Did members of the federal law enforcement community infiltrate the protest and attempt to incite criminal behavior, as some have shown on video? Is it really an insurrection if no one actually tried to overthrow the government?
These are the questions (among many, many others) the January 6th Committee can’t or won’t answer. This tells me they don’t want to get to the bottom of what happened; the Left needs the overblown “threat” as a weapon to give the impression Trump supporters are threats to America that are on the verge of destroying the country, overthrowing the government, and green-lighting a new “Dukes of Hazzard” series! The horror!
The biggest problem the Left faces with the January 6th Committee is the same one they faced with both impeachment trials, the Mueller Report, and everything else they thought would end the Trump Presidency: they overpromised and underdelivered. Just about everything they threw at Trump was all sizzle and no tofu, and to be fair there wasn’t that much sizzle to begin with. This is merely the latest in a long line of failures that make the “Scary Movie” franchise look good, and that’s a tall order.
Fortunately for us, the Left is more than up to the challenge of finding new ways to disappoint people!
Leftist Lexicon Word of the Week
There are many great mysteries in life. Why are we here? How did we come into existence? Who keeps greenlighting Madea movies? But the one that has the most impact right now is whether you’re fully vaccinated. And not unlike the questions I asked previously (especially that Madea one), there doesn’t seem to be a clear answer.
You would think there would be, though, because it seems to be a yes-or-no question. Ah, but thanks to our good friends on the Left, it’s gotten more complicated than the network used to buy Hunter Biden’s paintings. Yet, these same Leftists insist everyone should be fully vaccinated to do anything from going outside to walk your dog to gaining entry to restaurants and bars. Why the duplicity? Glad you asked!
fully vaccinated
What the Left thinks it means – a social responsibility that must be maintained so we can overcome COVID-19
What it really means – a constantly changing metric with little to do with overcoming COVID-19
When the first COVID-19 cases hit the US, we weren’t sure how to deal with it. Some people got very worried while others pretended it was no big deal. Eventually, though, most of us came around to the idea COVID wasn’t anything to sneeze at, and we started the process of combating it. It was during this time of uncertainty that Leftists went from dismissing it to embracing it because they found a way to make money on and take power from it.
It started with Democrat governors initiating lockdowns and mandating masks to attempt to try to contain the pandemic. By the way, happy second anniversary of “two weeks to slow the spread.” When that worked as well as President Joe Biden’s Afghanistan exit strategy, the restrictions continued with dissenters (i.e. anyone who could follow basic logic and saw the fail-fest for what it was) being called out as being evil assholes who just didn’t understand the severity of the pandemic and should be shamed as much as possible.
If you’re seeing parallels between that situation and the current vaccination situation, give yourselves a gold star because it’s the same strategy. As cases continue to mount, Leftists are using vaccination in the same way they’ve used being masked: as a means to pick out the “good” from the “bad.” (No word on the “ugly” at this time.) Using that simplistic measuring stick, the Left stroked their own egos like Bill Clinton stroking his…cigar at a Playboy shoot. It became a moral litmus test and they all rushed to prove how moral they were.
You know, after spending the latter months of the Trump Administration saying they didn’t trust any vaccine that he pushed out.
Anyway, the standard for being fully vaccinated changed with the wind. First, you needed one or two shots, depending on the brand you chose. Next, you needed a third shot. Now, there’s the possibility of a fourth shot being necessary to be considered fully vaccinated. With the way things are going, the next vaccination card you get may be “Get 9 and Get the 10th Free” variety.
And here’s the kicker: Leftists are admitting the vaccines don’t actually prevent COVID-19, but merely mitigate our body’s reaction to getting it. I guess they had to change the narrative after the vaccinated started spreading COVID like they claimed the unvaccinated did. You know, I’m starting to think the bulk of the people telling us to “follow the science” might not know what science is…
Naaaaaaaaah! It’s just a coincidence these folks continue to be wrong about just about everything COVID-related.
At the heart of the Left’s approach to the pandemic is the concept of coercive power, how much people are willing to do to avoid negative consequences at the hands of the powerful. This goes waaaaaay beyond naming and shaming the unvaccinated. There are Leftists, some who have considerable political and social stroke, who want to punish people for not being fully vaccinated. Read that again. Punished not for refusing to get shots, but for not getting enough shots.
Replace “shots” with “health insurance” and you have Obamacare.
Given what we know now about the nature of COVID-19, there remains an unanswered, yet vital, question: what is Plan B if the current Plan A fails? Nobody on the Left seems to have thought that far ahead, which is disappointing, but not surprising. While concepts like natural immunity and herd mentality that were initially dismissed as not being supported by science are now being embraced because it turns out they were all along, the people who tell us to get vaccinated keep repeating the same mantra as a cure-all. And still people resist for any number of reasons.
That is what fucks over the Left most. When people are allowed to choose what is best for them, they may not choose what the Left’s option. Leftists want more of a controlled choice where you must choose between what the Left wants and what the Left wants. And, no, that’s not a typo. They want the illusion of choice more than they want actual choice, like elections in the former Soviet Union where voters chose between two members of the same Communist Party. Come to think of it, that’s pretty much the same as the 2020 Democrat primaries.
Either way, being fully vaccinated should be a personal choice. I am fully vaccinated and will get booster shots as needed due to my medical history, and I will continue to wear masks in closed public spaces for the same reason. Beyond that, I don’t care. It’s your call, and I support it because I’m not an authoritarian asshole. COVID symptoms suck regardless of how severe they are and no amount of virtue signaling moves changes that.
Regardless of whether you’re unconvinced of the effectiveness of the vaccine or get more pricks than an orgy in a gay porn movie, the negative motivations behind getting everyone vaccinated are hard to ignore and even harder to explain away. And the Left isn’t making an effort, or if they are it’s at their usual energy level. Either way, there is one thing you can do to annoy Leftists and point out the folly of this issue using their own logic against them.
Just say you identify as being fully vaccinated.
And don’t be wearing your good clothes when you do. The head explosions in the aftermath may get messy.