Through a President’s time in office, there are several defining moments that write how his (and eventually her) will be remembered. Ronald Reagan’s Brandenburg Gate speech (“Mr. Gorbachev, tear down this wall.”). George W. Bush’s first post-9/11 appearance in New York City. Bill Clinton using an intern as a humidor.
When the history of Puddin’ Head Joe’s administration is written, his handling of the wildfires in Maui will be referenced. Leftists are busy trying to make Puddin’ Head Joe look intelligent, decisive, and compassionate, while the real world is shaking its head in disbelief.
And I have a topic to discuss…while shaking my head in disbelief.
Maui wildfires
What the Left thinks it means – a clear example of Joe Biden’s leadership
What it really means – a clear example of Joe Biden’s leadership, just not in the way the Left thinks
To make things easier, here is a timeline of events so even Leftists can follow along. What started with strong winds quickly grew into a much larger problem within a matter of minutes, as natural disasters often do. Or in the case of Puddin’ Head Joe, a matter of weeks. More on that later.
Without missing a beat, Leftists leapt into action…to bring up climate change as the cause of or a significant factor in the destruction. This before an official investigation has been conducted in full and while Hawaiians are sorting through the loss of property and life. But remember, kids, Leftists care about people, dammit!
But apparently not enough to interrupt Puddin’ Head Joe’s vacation. In fact, the administration took an entire week before issuing a statement about the wildfires and what the Administration would do to help. A. Fucking. Week. And somewhere Michael “Heck of a job, Brownie” Brown is saying, “What the fuck??”
To put it mildly, Puddin’ Head Joe responded to the Maui wildfires with the sense of urgency of a drugged sloth after a year-long bender with Charlie Sheen. Between responses of “no comment” and initially offering a whopping $700 per household to Hawaiians affected by the wildfire, it was clear to anyone not guzzling the Leftist Kool Aid that Puddin’ Head Joe was out of his depth.
But, hey, no mean tweets, amirite?
Eventually (as in 2 weeks after the wildfires began), Puddin’ Head Joe and Dr. Jill dragged their asses to Maui to survey the damage. And they were met with much deserved criticism from politicians and Hawaiians alike. Granted, this was before the President spoke, so little did they know how much worse it was going to get.
Like comparing the loss of property and life to a fucking small house fire. And not even having the courtesy to tell the fucking truth! This is William Hung levels of tonedeafness. And once Puddin’ Head Joe and Dr. Jill did their bit for the cameras to show how much they care…they went back on vacation.
Remember how much shit Ted Cruz got for going on vacation during a winter blackout in Texas? I know he does. But if the Left didn’t have double standards, they wouldn’t have any standards at all.
Even with the already low bar the Left has set for Puddin’ Head Joe, he finds a way to limbo under it. But anyone who is surprised by the delays and ineptitude of the federal response have forgotten the disaster that was the East Palestine train derailment. One fumble could be explained away (and believe me the Left tried), but this is the second major disaster this year alone and the responses aren’t getting any better. Granted, we don’t want Presidents to have a lot of experience dealing with natural disasters, but you would think someone with Puddin’ Head Joe’s 50+ years of public service would have picked up a thing or two.
Then again, this is Joe Biden we’re talking about here. Even at his prime he wasn’t even an intellectual midget, let alone an intellectual giant. But he’s gotten by through a combination of a likeable personality and a party willing to turn away when Puddin’ Head Joe goes off script. The problem with this approach is eventually you’ll come across a situation where you can’t charm your way out of trouble and have to show you can do the job.
And the people of Maui are finding out Puddin’ Head Joe can’t do the job, even when it’s screamingly obvious what needs to happen.
That’s why the Left has to make the President look like he’s on top of it all and being the “empathizer-in-chief.” Oh, and to change headlines to blame climate change or praising him for the smallest of accomplishments. You know, just like what happened under previous Presidents faced with disasters, right?
Not so much.
As angry as this makes me, I can’t help but feel sorry for the people of Maui who are getting a taste of Leftist leadership at a time of need. The good thing for Puddin’ Head Joe is his ineptitude is happening this year and not in 2024 when he’s stumbling…I mean running for reelection. The voting public tend to have a short memory when it comes to bad performances in non-election years, especially when it comes to Leftists. The media play a big role in memory-holing anything negative and gaslighting you into thinking it never happened.
Don’t believe those pesky facts and eyewitness reports of Puddin’ Head Joe being Abe Simpson with the nuclear codes. Just sit back and watch more TikTok videos or go see the Barbie movie so you can talk about it on social media! After all, social media presence is much more important than the leader of the free world being not just senile, but an incredibly bad judge of character, intelligence, and competence.
As much as I’d like to think Hawaii is going to learn its lesson from the Maui wildfires, I have serious reservations. Case in point: perpetual dumbass Senator Mazie Hirono keeps getting reelected. But the residents’ vocal and visual disappointment in what Puddin’ Head Joe said and did is a ray of hope that somehow they’ve had enough of Leftist politicians and their lack of attention on the common person. The more people speak up about Biden’s fuckups, the harder it gets for Leftists to spin them as right wing cranks trying to attack the President for purely political reasons.
News Flash for you Leftists out there: not everyone who criticizes Puddin’ Head Joe is a MAGA-head. Anybody with a brain and basic human decency can tell you Biden fucked up big time here, and then proceeded to play “Top This” with himself over and over again.
If you want to help those affected by the Maui wildfires, here is a list of organizations to consider, as well as information on Glenn Beck’s charitable endeavors on that front. And give generously as you can because it’s clear Puddin’ Head Joe can’t be bothered to stay off vacation for more than a day to help.
Tag: president joe biden
Leftist Lexicon Word of the Week
I would never want to be a White House Press Secretary under any circumstances. First, you have to communicate with members of the press, which is like going to Chuck E Cheese during a big toddler birthday party on a good day (and working that same birthday on a bad day). Second, you might have to address a scandal that involves the President and his/her family.
And then, there’s the third reason: I’d have the same title as the current Press Secretary, Karine Jean-Pierre, who makes Jen Psaki look good by comparison. Recently, Jean-Pierre responded to a question about the ongoing legal troubles of Hunter Biden, who I’m lead to believe is related in some way to President Puddin’ Head Joe but I’m waiting until the mainstream media confirms because I’m thorough like that. Apparently, I’m still having to wait since Karine Jean-Pierre referred to Hunter Biden as a “private citizen” and the press hasn’t asked a follow-up question about it.
While we wait on reporters to, you know, do their fucking jobs, let’s talk about private citizens for a bit. Maybe by the time this piece is done, we will be able to confirm the First Crackhead is related to Puddin’ Head Joe.
private citizen
What the Left thinks it means – people who should be kept out of the public spotlight to avoid unnecessary attention
What it really means – how Leftists describe one of their own when he/she/it royally fucks up
The concept of what constitutes a private citizen has been the subject of a lot of good natured debate within First Amendment scholarly circles. And, as is the case with such scholarly debates, nothing’s really come of it except more debate. Fortunately, the law gives us a bit more clarity:
The term “private person” means— (A) any individual who is a citizen or national of the United States; and (B) any corporation, partnership, association, or other legal entity organized or existing under the law of any State, whether for profit or not for profit.
And by “a bit” I mean none at all.
Generally, the rule of thumb is a person who is not well-known would be a private citizen. In short, anybody who still uses Mastodon as a Twitter alternative. Once that person gets a bit of fame or infamy, the protections afforded a private citizen get worn away. Still, even someone well-known in Monkey’s Ass, Wyoming, would not be as well-known in New York City, so venue matters.
Or it used to. Thanks 24/7 news and social media.
Then, there are celebrities. In exchange for fame, fortune, and the occasional appearance on talk shows, they give up expectations of privacy for as long as they’re in the public consciousness. Some, like Dustin “Screech” Diamond, never quite escape. Others, like Dustin “Screech” Diamond’s stunt double, reclaim their privacy by giving up their celebrity.
The thing about celebrity, though, is it can be extended to members of their families. The children of politicians fall into this category, especially if they fuck up in such a way it makes the news. Ask the Bush Twins about that after their underage drinking fiasco. That means, Hunter Biden, if he truly is the offspring of Puddin’ Head Joe, would not qualify as a private citizen.
Wait…nope. Still no mainstream media confirmation of that yet. But hope springs eternal.
So, why would Karine Jean-Pierre lie to us about Hunter Biden being a private citizen? I mean, aside from it’s her job to unconvincingly lie to the White House Press Lapdogs…I mean Corps. The short answer is because she can get away with it. The politically obvious reasons are, well, Hunter Biden is a crackhead embarrassment that makes his dad look even worse than he already does, thus handing Republicans an easier win than any woman against a Leftist man in an arm wrestling contest. The more people connect Hunter to Joe, the harder it is for Hunter to be considered a private citizen.
At its face, the idea is absurd. But these are Leftists we’re dealing with here, so it’s not surprising. The Left wants you to believe Hunter Biden, who has a well-documented history of being a shitty person, somehow isn’t famous enough to be covered as a news story, hence he’s a private citizen. Yet, his art that sells for $500,000 a flop…I mean pop gets people all over the world to buy it, so he logically can’t be a private citizen because he’s known worldwide.
This is why I don’t recommend trying to make sense of Leftist logic without hard liquor.
Now, it’s nice to know Leftists care about protecting private citizens from undue attention. If only they weren’t fucking hypocrites on the subject when it suits their needs. If you’re a Colorado baker who happens to be Christian and refused to bend over (figuratively and literally) to a same-sex couple, you get put on blast so everyone knows how much of an evil no-good right wing homophobe bigot Hitler wannabe you are. If you’re a member of ANTIFA who gets caught on video attacking someone with a bike chain, the Left will go out of their way to hide that information.
Hmmm…if only there were indicators of when the Left will flip-flop on what constitutes a private citizen…oh, wait, there is! They always flip-flop like John Kerry cooking at a beachfront IHOP working straight commission.
As unsurprising as the Left’s duplicity regarding private citizens is, the scary thing is it may be too late to protect private citizens, actual and hypothetical, due to the advent of social media. Any dick with a cell phone can film you doing something horrible (or at least make it look like you did something horrible), post it online, and make you famous before you can say “YouTube Shorts.” Then, you are known as Fat Guy Yells At Burger King Employee While His Shorts Fall Down forever and you have to delete your online presence and start blogging under the name of Thomas…
I’ve said too much.
Anyway, with privacy going the way of anyone not fawning over the Barbie movie, we need to get on the stick to address how this impacts private citizens. Unfortunately, we’re lightyears behind and no one else is thinking about this issue because there’s a Barbie movie, you guys! That, and the fact more people want to be seen on social media like TikTok, so they’re willing to trade their status as private citizens for fame, no matter how temporary it is.
Yep. We’re fucked.
Until such time as society decides to give up on being famous, it’s up to us to keep the idea of a private citizen alive. That means keeping your head down, being aware of your surroundings and the people in it, and not drawing attention to yourselves. Live your life as much off the grid as possible, or if that’s not possible, be smart with what you share. Yes, this will make you massively unhip to the rest of the world, but when you consider what is considered cool these days, it’s no big loss.
On a larger scale, we have to recognize what a private citizen is and why Hunter Biden isn’t one. No matter how the Left tries to spin it, this situation is like a Lindsey Lohan drug story, only with shittier art. And considering Lohan’s acting career, that’s saying a lot!
This just in! Still no mainstream media confirmation Hunter and Puddin’ Head Joe are related. Like the number of licks it takes to get to the Tootsie Roll center of a Tootsie Pop, the world may never know.
Leftist Lexicon Word of the Week
If you want to see what kind of leader a man or woman is, watch them during times of difficulty. Anybody can lead when nothing happens. Case in point: the United Nations. But when something major happens, like…oh, I don’t know…a massive derailment in East Lebanon, Ohio, causing deaths, toxic chemicals being released, and a fire, among other things..the real leaders step up and take charge.
Then, there’s the Biden Administration. When something like the train derailment referenced above (a completely made-up and not at all real scenario, mind you) occurs, the government moves at the speed of light…colored sloths partying with Snoop Dogg and Willie Nelson in Amsterdam. I mean, it only took 10+ days for the White House to contact the mayor of East Lebanon…in this completely hypothetical example, of course.
This sort of situation would fall under the auspices of the Department of Transportation. So…yeah. We’re gonna talk about it this week.
the Department of Transportation
What the Left thinks it means – a federal agency that oversees any transportation concerns on a national level
What it really means – a federal agency that needs a serious revamp
The year was 1966. Miranda Rights became a thing, well before there was a “Sex In the City.” A young Ronald Reagan became Governor of California. And in 3 short years, an amazing young man would be born, one who would capture the imaginations of a hungry nation. That man, of course, is Paul Rudd.
Oh, and the Department of Transportation came into being via an act of Congress. And, as if this couldn’t get any better, the Department’s first day of work was April 1, 1967. Quite the April Fool’s joke.
The Department of Transportation’s mission statement is:
To deliver the world’s leading transportation system, serving the American people and economy through the safe, efficient, sustainable, and equitable movement of people and goods.
To accomplish this, there are 11 agencies and bureaus that are under the DOT’s umbrella. They are:
– U.S. Department of Transportation Office of the Secretary (OST)
– National Highway Traffic Safety Administration (NHTSA)
– Federal Aviation Administration (FAA)
– Office of Inspector General (OIG)
– Federal Highway Administration (FHWA)
– Pipeline and Hazardous Materials Safety Administration (PHMSA)
– Federal Motor Carrier Safety Administration (FMCSA)
– Federal Railroad Administration (FRA)
– Great Lakes St. Lawrence Seaway Development Corporation (GLS)
– Federal Transit Administration (FTA)
– Maritime Administration (MARAD)
Now, unless I’m completely off in my reading comprehension, I do believe railway safety might be in the Department of Transportation’s wheelhouse. Good thing there hasn’t been a major railway accident recently or things might get really embarrassing!
On a larger level, the Department of Transportation has its fingers in a lot of pies, which may not necessarily be bad as long as those fingers are actually accomplishing something or staying on top of issues affecting transportation on a national level. And with 55,000 employees, the job duties alone must keep them pretty busy.
I’d like to think that, but then I looked into the bullshit they’re working on instead of their jobs. Since February 3, the DOT issued 5 press releases, the most recent of which being announcing a Biden Administration initiative for a national network…of electric car chargers. Great for EV owners, not so good for the people of East Palestine…you know, if something happened there. And a quick search of their press releases shows…a big fat goose egg referencing the train derailment (that I completely made up off the top of my head).
But this is par for the course in government these days. For all of the talk (or lack thereof) about accountability, very few government drones get anything more serious than a tersely worded memo with all the force of a pillow fight. And even when some heads roll, it’s never the people running the department or agency. It’s usually the lowest-level drones with the least connection to the crime. Remember Lois Lerner? After a pretty public scandal where evidence showed she had a hand in committing tax fraud against conservative groups, she skated away like Brian Boitano.
So, what’s happening with the current DOT Secretary, Pete “Mr. Mom” Buttigieg? Well, that’s kinda hard to say, but what is clear is he’s doing his best to downplay the severity of the train derailment (which, I remind you, is completely hypothetical). After all, there are a thousand derailments per year, according to the Secretary, so this one (which is still completely hypothetical) is no big deal.
But at least he’s maintaining the DOT’s five core policy goals: safety, jobs, equity, climate, and innovation. Well, with the completely made up situation in East Lebanon, one has nothing to do with transportation (equity), one is guaranteed due to the derailment (jobs), and the other three are FUBAR. Even if you make the argument everyone in the community will be getting sick equitably, that’s a MOAFU: Mother of All Fuck-Ups.
It’s that this point we need to ask ourselves why we even have a Department of Transportation if they can’t even handle the basics of their jobs. You’ll get no argument from me on that front. Just judging from the shape of many of our interstates here in Iowa (where three of our four seasons are Construction), we could do better hiring the Three Stooges to take care of our roads, and they’re all dead.
Instead of just making jokes at the DOT’s expense (which is a lot of fucking fun), let me offer a solution. We currently have an infrastructure problem, as we’ve heard from people claiming health care and child care are infrastructure. But, nobody’s really doing anything about it. Even the recent Pork-A-Palooza…I mean omnibus spending bill split $87.3 billion between the DOT and the Department of Housing and Urban Development, which is an increase from the $81 billion from the 2022 fiscal year.
As much as the Left tells us we need more money to fix what’s broken, we need to figure out how exactly the Department of Transportation is spending the money we’re giving them. And judging from their self-published news stories, they’re focusing a lot of energy on passenger railroads, not commercial ones. And no matter how much is getting spent, it’s clear nothing proposed or earmarked would have stopped the derailment. You know, if it actually happened.
This means we need to do a full audit of what is being spent where and on what. If we’re spending more on feel-good but utterly irrelevant programs than we are on railway infrastructure, that has to change. Any derailment, large or small, disastrous or minor, is one too many. Even if Secretary Buttigieg and President Puddin’ Head Joe are blase about them, it’s not a good look because, well, trains are fucking transportation. Locate what needs to be fixed and spend the money to fix them. Even if it puts more Left-friendly projects on the back burner, learning how to be more inclusive in LGBTQIMTHEVERYMODELOFAMODERNMAJORGENERAL circles is less important than making sure trains don’t derail with the frequency of a celebrity going into rehab for the 248th time.
Along with this audit, we need to figure out what jobs they do that can be done at the state level. States have a vested interest in maintaining roads, bridges, and the like because otherwise no one would visit. Why not let them decide what needs to be fixed when? A bridge that’s more unstable than Lindsay Lohan on a bender with Charlie Sheen can’t wait to get fixed while millions get spent on a port in a completely different part of the country. Even if the port is in poor shape, it should be handled by those closest to the port rather than at a national level, where spending decisions are made by people who don’t care about either, but love the votes those decisions garner.
At this point, the Department of Transportation needs to be under the microscope so we can get a grasp on the problems we see everyday. And when there’s a major derailment that threatens the lives of people in a community, it shouldn’t take an act of God to get the Department or the President to say or do something.
Good thing I made up that scenario at East Palestine, Ohio, because if it really happened, there would be a lot of people looking like assholes right now.
Leftist Lexicon Word of the Week
One of the things I’ve grown to hate about politics in recent years has been the tribalism of both the Left and the Right. It seems if someone from one side does something horrible, like killing a bunch of elderly nuns trying to cross the street, the two extremes can’t come together and say “You know, that’s fucked up.” Invariably, one side will say it was wrong and demand justice, and the other side will decry the criticism and claim it was partisan and/or fake news.
The recent revelations about Puddin’ Head Joe and his penchant for leaving classified documents where they shouldn’t be has brought out the worst of this. People on the Right (including your humble correspondent in this case) think this is a criminal offense and should be prosecuted. Leftists, on the other hand, keep trying to defend Puddin’ Head Joe while trying to make distinctions between the current fuckup and the raid on Mar-a-Lago, which is the previous fuckup.
Throughout the online debates on the topic, I see the word “whataboutism” tossed around like a football at a Philadelphia Eagles game. That means it’s time we take a turn at trying to understand it, and hopefully have fun doing it.
whataboutism
What the Left thinks it means – a tactic used by the Right to equate events that are substantively different as a means to excuse right wing criminality
What it really means – a tactic that proves both major parties suck ass
Our good friends at Merriam Webster define whataboutism thus:
the act or practice of responding to an accusation of wrongdoing by claiming that an offense committed by another is similar or worse
Basically, whataboutism involves diversion and deflection. Instead of taking up the accusation directly, those who engage in it try to bring in something unrelated to the original accusation to get the person levying it to either get defensive or shut down completely.
Unfortunately, both the Left and the Right engage in whataboutism on a regular basis, which makes civil debate on social media next to impossible. Then again, it may be because these debates are being done on social media, where civility is as alien as E.T., or at the very least correct spelling. It is possible, mind you, but you’d have better luck surviving while having credible information that would implicate Hillary Clinton in criminal activity than you would be to actually converse with someone on a political issue.
For the record, I do not have any information on Hillary Clinton, so if you could take that red laser point dot off my forehead, I’d greatly appreciate it. Whew! Now that’s out of the way, back to the topic at hand.
The Left has been doing its usual bang-up job trying to create distance between Puddin’ Head Joe and Donald Trump’s handling of documents. This strategy has a two-fold benefit. First, it excuses Biden while leaving Trump open to criticism. Second, it enables the “whataboutism card” for the Left. If Leftists create enough of a difference in the minds of people who don’t follow current events that closely (i.e. 95% of Twitter users), they can downplay the potential criminality while redefining legitimate criticism as sour grapes.
The problem is these two separate incidents are similar enough to warrant equal scrutiny. Both are former government officials who had confidential documents in locations where they shouldn’t have been in the first place. Spin it any way you want, but the core issue is still the same. Where things get a bit cloudy is in what each official is allowed to declassify and how it was done. That’s a debate for another time (and possibly another blog post).
When you strip away all the partisan bullshit, you can’t call the Right’s outrage over Puddin’ Head Joe’s actions whataboutism because it’s literally the same thing Trump is being accused of. And, to be fair, the Right’s criticisms have more meat with regards to how the President is being treated right now because of the way Trump was treated, with the Left’s overwhelming approval. Even then, it’s hard to get past the whataboutism label completely here since there’s the element of an unequal response, which works in the Left’s favor.
At least, it does until you realize the Left wants there to be different and unequal rules for their side. But that’s to be expected. After all, they’re our moral and intellectual superiors (just ask them).
As long as there are partisan hacks on both sides willing to be intellectually dishonest, there will be whataboutism, and there will be accusations of whataboutism, legitimate or otherwise. We may even find it creeping into our own thinking at times when we let our passions override our logic. The key to overcoming this is to keep consistent when presented with a seemingly contradictory situation.
That’s why I say both Trump and Biden need to be held accountable, no matter what. Not only does it confuse the partisan asshats, but it keeps things nice and simple. Plus, it will make for some great snarking.
Regardless of how you feel about Puddin’ Head Joe, it’s hard to deny the classified documents situation he’s in looks bad, as in Lena Dunham nude pictorial in Playboy bad. That’s why I take the Left’s whataboutism defense of Joe not as seriously as they do. Even so, it’s far too easy a trap to get into with political and ideological differences, mainly because neither side wants to be consistent. They want their team protected and the other team prosecuted until the end of time. But bad behavior is bad behavior, no matter what team you’re on, and it needs to be called out even when the partisan jagoffs accuse you of whataboutism.
When they do, feel free to do what I do and tell them “What about you shut the fuck up?”
Papers, Please
To say it’s been a rough few months for Democrats is an understatement. Oh, they were able to stem the tide of the “Red Wave” (thanks in part to idiots like Mitch McConnell), but since then they’ve been accumulating L’s like the world’s unluckiest Scrabble player.
Recently, we heard about President Puddin’ Head Joe having classified documents in the possession of a think tank (an ironic contradiction if ever there was) and just now started turning them over. Of course, his staff knew about them on November 2, 2022, but hey. Why let a little something like having classified documents six years after leaving office disrupt an election that could determine how our country is governed for the next 2 years, amirite?
If that wasn’t bad enough, more classified documents were found in Biden’s home in Wilmington, Delaware. But don’t worry, folks. Ol’ Puddin’ Head Joe kept them perfectly safe, right next to his Corvette in his garage. And it just so happens, Joe’s son Hunter stayed at that residence for a time. Wow! If you can’t trust meth-heads with a penchant for underhanded deals and possible child porn on a laptop, who can you trust?
As you might expect, Leftists leapt into action…to say a) the documents were planted, b) Donald Trump is much worse, c) Joe is cooperating, and d) it was just a mistake.
How’s that boot tasting, Leftists?
As more and more comes out about this story, the more and more Leftists want to push it under the rug, even going to far as to say this scandal might take attention away from investigations into Republican wrongdoing. Then again, it was CNN saying that, so take it with a Lake City of Salt.
Since the Right doesn’t have memories like ferrets hooked on meth, people have been bringing up how the Trump and Biden document scandals are being handled. Which, of course, prompted the Left to come up with all sorts of Oktoberfest-level pretzel logic to explain why it’s just different, okay? But is it? Let’s find out.
As President, Donald Trump had the authority to declassify documents within a specific scope, hopefully with more reasoning than “because shut up.” Some things can be declassified under different provisions within the government and by following the proper procedures. We can debate whether Trump and his team followed those procedures another time because the point is he had the authority to declassify.
The Vice-President, on the other hand, can only declassify documents he (or now she) classified or generated by his/her office. Without knowing what was found at Puddin’ Head Joe’s office, home, and garage, we can’t really tell whether he followed the process correctly. Knowing him, he forgot all about it.
As far as what former Executive officials can take with them, well…that’s where things get a bit murky. (Surprise, surprise.) There are some requirements and loopholes for Presidents and Vice-Presidents with regards to classified documents. Again, the lack of specific details gives Joe a bit of breathing room legally.
Having said that, Puddin’ Head Joe’s got some ‘splainin’ to do. If what has been reported so far is accurate (and I can’t say for certain that it is), some of the documents in question had to deal with Iran, Ukraine, and the United Kingdom, as well as China. Now, I may be wrong here, but at least half of the countries mentioned don’t like us and one of them loves us…as long as we keep giving them money and guns. No word on if Ukraine is accepting our lawyers yet, but I’ll keep you posted.
And if you got that reference, you are officially old. And cool as hell.
While the way these documents came to light differs greatly from the raid on Mar-a-Lago, it’s important not to lose sight of the basic facts here: Puddin’ Head Joe had classified documents in his possession and failed to do his due diligence in returning them or notifying the proper authorities that he had them.
Before you Leftists give me this “he turned them in as soon as he found out” bullshit, let me remind you his term as Vice-President ended six years ago. And during that time, his meth-head son has access to those documents, which in and of itself is a security risk. Not to mention, Biden didn’t come forward with these documents as soon as he found out. He waited two more months after they were discovered.
If you flipped your shit over Trump holding onto classified documents for a year and a half, your shit better be doing a Cirque du Soleil routine if you want to remain consistent. If you’re not, then take a seat. In fact, take all of the seats. Especially that old dusty one in the corner, the one with the ripped upholstery.
And while we’re here, remember how Leftists got so concerned about whether Trump was selling nuclear secrets since some of the documents seized were allegedly about a foreign country’s nuclear capabilities? I do. It was a Neal Peart drum solo of drumbeats from the Left lamenting about how Trump was guilty (without evidence of anything happening, mind you) and still allowed to walk freely amongst the people (see previous comment in parens for the reason). Now, these hawkish Leftists aren’t squawking so much. Even known Leftist and fuckknuckle Joy Behar said we give Puddin’ Head Joe the benefit of the doubt because, essentially, he’s not Trump.
No, Joe isn’t like Trump. Trump wasn’t fucking stupid enough to put classified documents in a fucking garage!
Anyway, we’re in for a shitshow as more information about Puddin’ Head Joe’s classified documents come to light and the Left tries to explain it all way without success. I wouldn’t hold my breath waiting on an FBI raid of Joe’s home anytime soon.
Unless they find more on Hunter, that is.
Leftist Lexicon Word of the Week
If you’re like me (and if you are, I’m sorry), you’re getting sick of political ads polluting the airwaves right now. It seems any infraction from an overdue library book in third grade to supporting extreme positions like expecting teachers not to indoctrinate their students into believing they’re transgendered when they still get nap time gets turned into a massive scandal designed to make voters not like a particular candidate. And sometimes these attacks play fast and loose with the facts.
And by sometimes, I mean more frequently than Lindsey Lohan goes back to rehab.
Recently, the Left has rolled out a phrase to describe Republican and conservative candidates who have questions about the 2020 Presidential election went down: election deniers. Although this seems like a silly accusation, the Left is pretty serious about making it stick to as many Republican candidates and their supporters as possible. Which, of course, means it caught my attention.
election deniers
What the Left thinks it means – crazy conspiracy theorists, usually Trump Republicans, who believe the 2020 Presidential election wasn’t legitimate
What it really means – a phrase used to disparage Republicans and conservatives for not accepting the Leftist spin on the 2020 Presidential election
There are two camps with regards to the 2020 Presidential election: those who believe it was the most secure election in our history, and those who have been paying attention. To put it as diplomatically as I can, the election itself was a shitshow of Golgothan proportions. While under the auspices of an election (something Leftists swore up and down Donald Trump would never allow as he installed himself as Big Head Honcho For Life) held during a pandemic, there was some shady shit going on by both teams…I mean parties.
Although the Leftist line has gone from “there wasn’t any systemic voter fraud” to “there was some, but it’s not significant,” they maintain anyone who questions the legitimacy of the 2020 Presidential election is a loony. Pardon my pedantry for a moment, but wouldn’t the fact there was voter fraud undermine the notion the 2020 election was hunky-dory? Whether it was significant enough to affect the outcome of the election is immaterial because it’s not the scope that matters in the end. Well, except if you’re a proctologist performing a colonoscopy, that is.
I will admit much of the election denial right now is coming from the Right, particularly those on the Trump Train. But I also remember waaaaaaaaay back in 2016 when Leftists were engaged in a little election denial of their own, including current White House Press Secretary Karine Jean-Pierre. Granted, she is an idiot, but surely that was an isolated incident, right?
Not. So. Much.
In fact, Leftists and Democrats have a long list of election denials themselves dating back to the 2000 election. To this day, I’m worried there is a male porn star named Hanging Chad out there still getting work, but that’s not important right now.
And let’s not overlook (as if that’s humanly possible) the most prominent election denier the Left has, Stacey Abrams. After being defeated by her Republican opponent for Governor of Georgia, she not only denied she lost, but turned it into a political action movement, a book deal, a cameo on an episode of “Star Trek: Discovery,” and more magazine covers and puff pieces than Michelle Obama. And all that while being Governor of Georgia, no less! Oh wait…
So, Leftists are hypocrites when it comes to election denial, which is no surprise to anyone with Interwebs access and a memory longer than a TikTok video. This leads us to the question of why they’ve switched opinions and now think denying election results is bad. Well, it comes down to power, which is the coin of the Leftist realm. Well, that and incredibly shitty takes on how to fix the problems they cause. When the Left is on the outside looking in, it’s okay to question even the most lopsided Republican victories because, according to the Left, Republicans can’t win elections without cheating. However, when the Left is in power, questioning the elections is tantamount to treason or, even worse, wearing white after Labor Day.
Even if it can be established there were some irregularities in the vote count.
If the Left’s turn of a phrase reminds you of something, it should, since it’s the same language they use when discussing global climate change/climate disruption/climate catastrophes/whatever the Left is calling it this nanosecond. The idea behind it is to suggest anyone who disagrees with the “facts” (i.e. what the Left wants us to believe) is disreputable and denies reality. Yet, these same Leftists who claim to have the facts on their side go out of their ways to suppress any information that runs counter to their conclusions. They’ve gone so far as to ratchet up the rhetoric to 11 (because it’s one higher) by calling them science deniers. Not only are you denying climate change, but you are denying science as a whole. Who could listen to crackpots like that?
Me, for one. I am by nature curious and I want to gather as much information as I can before rendering a decision. Through that, I’ve learned to pick out questionable information and information sources when they don’t make sense. And calling someone a “denier” when there’s a vested interest in doing so is a big red flag.
With the 2020 elections, both sides have a vested interest in either confirming or rejecting the outcome, so it’s a wash. But right now there’s only one side making a case that has identifiable and verifiable flaws from the jump, and, spoiler alert, it’s the side who spent every year since 2016 saying the election results were rigged and doing everything they can to turn the Presidential election into a popular vote contest. If there are any Leftists reading this (or having it be read to you because of all the big words being used) who are confused about who these people are, look in the mirror.
The larger point, however, is the “word magic” being used to get people to squelch any concerns they have about the 2020 election by appealing to popularity and authority. Eagle-eyed readers will remember these are logical fallacies designed to give the impression of being correct without having to go through that pesky task of presenting facts. After all, the Socialist Socialite told us it was better to be morally right than factually correct, and who are we to disagree with her?
That, kids, is an example of what I’m talking about with appeals to authority and popularity. We are being told to ignore our gut instincts if we think something’s not kosher because it will lead to ridicule and disgrace (often hurled in our direction by those telling us to ignore our instincts). Maybe it’s me, but the surest way to make me more skeptical is to tell me not to pay attention to the man behind the curtain. The fact Leftists are working so hard to avoid addressing at least some of the questions surrounding Joe Biden’s victory tells me they know they’re bullshitting us.
But to be fair, they’ve had a lot on their plates investigating Donald Trump for having Russian dressing on a salad he ate in 1998. But once they’re done with that, I’m sure they’ll have time for answer the questions. Granted, it will be 2638, and that’s only if the investigation into Trump laughing at a Yakov Smirnoff set wraps up early.
In the meantime, the best way to address the Left painting anyone as an election denier can be summarized in two words: So what? This question is one the Left can’t answer without looking like authoritarian assholes or dishonest assholes. Or assholes in general, but the point’s the same. They don’t know why anyone would disagree with them and they’re not interested in finding out, but they’re heavily invested in making sure no one questions them.
But their tactics only work if you are scared of the consequences. If you gave your last fuck at the office and have no intention of getting more, you remove the fear and subsequently the power the Left wants you to believe they have. And if you want to have more fun, tell them you self-identify as something and their questioning is harassment and, thus, violence. And make them use your pronouns!
No matter what the Left tries to tell you, there are some loose ends related to the 2020 Presidential election that haven’t been tied up yet. As Americans, we can and should ask questions until we get answers that make sense or are persuasive enough to make us look at the situation differently. Even if we don’t like the answers we ultimately get, knowledge is about the journey and not the destination. And maybe even the friends we made along the way.
Except Jeff. He’s an asshole.
Leftist Lexicon Word of the Week
I know the event that inspired this week’s Lexicon occurred last week, but the real impact of it is still being felt this week. Besides, the Lexicon self-identifies as timely, so if you disagree you’re a bigot!
Anyway, President Joe Biden gave an address to the nation last week. To say the optics were a little on the horrible side would be understating it quite a bit. Yet, the speech being called The Red Speech was just the kind of red (speech) meat the Left wanted. Leftists fought for column inches and TV time to praise the speech, even though they pretty much said the same things…
Anyway, let’s take a closer look at The Red Speech.
The Red Speech
What the Left thinks it means – an awesome speech preaching of uniting against the greatest threat to America in history
What it really means – a disjointed speech that only appeals to the Left’s totalitarian nature
So I don’t get accused of taking Biden’s words out of context, here are the text and video of the speech in question. Of course, that won’t stop Leftists from making the accusations because…reasons.
I was going to do a thorough analysis of the speech going over the various elements from the lighting to the location to the verbiage used. Then, I remembered it’s a Joe Biden speech. They typically have the intellectual rigor of a completed Sudoku puzzle. The speech itself isn’t as important as the Left’s reaction to it.
To put it mildly, they loved it so much, they smoked a cigarette (or a joint) or vaped or whatever it is they do afterwards. To them, it was a combination of a call to action, an affirmation of American (i.e. Leftist) values, and a shot over the bow of “MAGA Republicans” letting them know they weren’t going to take it anymore. It was, if you’ll pardon the expression (and even if you don’t), red meat for the Left. I’m not sure how the vegans on the Left felt, though…
Regardless, there were a lot of threads to tie together into one speech. Outside of the Leftist hivemind, the reaction was pretty much universal: the Red Speech sucked ass, and not in the fun way. Not only were the positive elements overpowered by the negative ones, but the visuals and vocal tone didn’t help matters either. It came off as loud, hateful, and generally tone-deaf. So, like an episode of The Young Turks.
You can tell how badly The Red Speech was received by how quickly the Biden Administration walked it back. Literally, within hours of giving it, kids. Now, I’m no Presidential speechwriter, but to me good speeches don’t have to be retracted, respun, and revised less than 24 hours after they were given.
And given President Biden’s track record of being less honest than tobacco companies in the 50s, it’s hard to tell whether the speech or the post-speech spin reflects his true feelings. That allows political opponents to assume the worst and express it, thus making a bad situation even worse for Biden. And guess what? The longer the outrage, real or manufactured, keeps The Red Speech in people’s minds, the more it will impact the midterms. You know, the ones where Democrats are hoping to hold the House and get at least 2 seats in the Senate? Yeah, try being a pro-Biden Democrat running on the “MAGA Republicans are the greatest threat to democracy right now…until they aren’t” message. That prospect is scarier than day-old sushi sold at Food Poisoning Emporium.
What should be even scarier for Leftists is the fact The Red Speech sounded and felt a lot like a speech from Donald Trump. All you would need to do is change a few words. Remember when we were told Joe Biden would be a better President because he wasn’t Trump? Almost two years and several clusterfucks later, the current President is sounding more and more like the former President and the Left doesn’t even see it.
Doubt me? Let’s check.
– The “otherization” of political opponents? Check.
– Blaming these “others” for problems Americans face? Check.
– Appealing to America’s greatness and resilience? Check.
– Promising to take action against those who threaten us? Check.
– Use of patriotic imagery as a backdrop? Check.
– Appeals to our emotions? Check.
– Cheers from audience members? Check.
– Rallying supporters to support party ideals and candidates? Check.
You get the idea. Leftists might not, but you do.
At this point, we should answer the lingering question why the Left slobbered over each other to praise The Red Speech. Aside from being full of the policy positions they love so much, it was also full of a lot of the stuff Leftists have been talking about in private being uttered in public. Normally, this would scare Leftists more than letting Biden go off-script, but in this case it’s exactly what they wanted because it makes those ideas seem plausible, possible, and inevitable. The Left has been talking about the possibility of civil war for a while now, either to criticize the Right or to pump up the Left’s egos to make them think they could win such a war easily. Even the President recently pooh-poohed the idea the Right could successfully beat the US military.
You know, the same MAGA Republicans who almost overthrew the government on January 6th, according to the Left?
I don’t understand the logic, either, kids.
What I do understand, though, is how The Red Speech fits into the Left’s totalitarian nature. They need to be in control of as much of our lives as possible, and post-COVID they’re looking for another hit of that sweet totalitarian shit. What better way to get people to run to the Left for protection than to overstate the threat the MAGA movement is to the country?
I’m not a MAGA guy, but I recognize some common traits in the members of the movement. Aside from being super-pro-Trump, that is. Most of the people being labeled as domestic terrorists by the Left are just regular people who just want to be left alone by government and for America to thrive. If you believe the Left, that’s what they want, too. They just have a different road to achieve it.
That road, of course, being letting them rule over everything and make all the important decisions because they’re so much smarter than we are. (Just ask them.) Since those pesky MAGA Republicans don’t agree with them, the Left has to resort to coercion and even force to get people to agree with them. Hence, the reason the midterms are so important to them and then the 2024 Presidential election.
Which makes The Red Speech seem like a much bigger fuck-up than I initially thought. Once you say the quiet part out loud, you’re kinda stuck with it. You can’t memory wipe the world…or can you?…no, no, you can’t. People are going to remember your words and hold you accountable to/for them.
Including people outside of your ideological sphere.
Conventional political wisdom says you have to try to attract the middle (i.e. the un-or-disenfranchised) to win elections. It’s easy to get voters if they already agree with your ideas, but it takes a bit of effort to expand that base to include people who may only agree with some of your ideas. And the more radical you appear, the less likely these possible voters will vote for you.
After The Red Speech, there are already Democrats trying to keep the stench off them in the hopes of still getting elected. And we’re not talking about no-name Democrats running for dog catcher, either. There are a few big name candidates ranging from Tim Ryan in Ohio to Raphael Warnock in Georgia. Although it can be argued they’re keeping their distance for reasons other than The Red Speech, it cannot be argued the speech itself makes it harder for red state Democrats to appeal to the middle, especially if they agree even a little bit with the MAGA Republicans.
Spoiler Alert, Leftists: It’s not just Republicans who support MAGA. There are more than a few people from your side who are getting turned off by the overheated bullshit and the lack of attention to more “kitchen table” issues that can make or break a candidate’s campaign. But, tell us again how buying an electric car will help when you practically need to take out a fourth mortgage just to get groceries.
The Red Speech won’t go down as one of the best speeches ever, but it certainly has lived down to its potential as one of the most infamous.
Leftist Lexicon Word of the Week – Special Edition!
By the time you read this, we will be celebrating or will have just celebrated a pivotal holiday in America. It’s a day to remember the sacrifices of so many to make our country a better place. I’m speaking, of course, of the start of college football.
Oh, and there’s also Labor Day.
Labor Day was established to celebrate the contributions of working Americans, and as you might expect, Leftists are quick to champion those working Americans. Or do they?
working Americans
What the Left thinks it means – the backbone of this country, people who constantly get fucked over by the corrupt rich and corporations
What it really means – a wide swath of Americans who constantly get fucked over by the corrupt Left
If you listen to Leftists (and I wouldn’t recommend it unless you have a stiff drink or five), the only ones fighting for the working men and women are Leftists. They work so hard to get middle class tax cuts, only to be thwarted at every turn by those evil Republicans who are in the back pockets of the greedy rich. It’s all they can do for the people we rely on so much to make the country run as smoothly as possible.
Which is complete bullshit.
Oh, I know there are hard-working Americans out there because I am one. But the Left’s fawning over folks like us is phonier than a Karine Jean-Pierre excuse for why the country is on proverbial fire right now. Leftists have a healthy contempt for working folks, and no matter how many flannel shirts, blue jeans, and hard hats they wear, they can’t escape their attitudes or looking like a member of the Village People.
As frequent readers know or have figured out on their own, the Left hates anyone who isn’t them. Meaning, rich white Leftists. Everyone else is treated like pawns to be moved across the political chessboard as the elites see fit. Granted, the Right does this as well, but not to the extent and levels of deception the Left does. And when it comes to the game, the Left is Garry Kasparov.
The way Leftists deceive…I mean persuade people of their pro-worker stance is by playing into their emotions, namely greed and jealousy. After all, if working people are struggling, it has to be because someone is stealing from them and living the high life. It can’t possibly be any other reason!
Wellllll…except that it can, and a lot of times it’s because of what the Left proposes to “help” people. More on that later.
By playing into our natural negative emotions and setting up a nameless, faceless villain, the Left sets itself up to be our white knights. And although they profess to be fighting for all of us, they actually don’t. They like working folks who belong to labor unions and consistently vote for Leftists, even if it winds up shooting themselves in the foot with a Gatling gun.
Personally, I’ve seen this contempt for working Americans for a couple of decades, but it’s only recently that the contempt has been more overt, provided you know what to look for. And there is no better textbook on this than Thomas Frank’s What’s the Matter with Kansas? Fortunately, I read it so you don’t have to because, dammit, I care! (Actually, it was because I was curious to see what Frank had to say about conservatives in the Midwest, but I still care.)
I can summarize Frank’s entire book in one sentence: Conservatives have conned working people, and only Leftists can save them.
There. I saved you time, money, and emergency room visits for blunt head trauma from hitting your head against a wall repeatedly.
Frank’s attitude towards people living in the state he came from, merely for voting for Republicans, drips off each and every page. Although he does blame Democrats for sounding and acting fiscally conservative in order to win elections, he saves the bulk of his venom for conservatives who he felt corrupted politics in the state to work against the best interests of the voters.
The reason Frank’s screed…I mean book is a great example of the Left’s hatred of working Americans is because it exposes the rift between what the Left knows about working Americans and what working Americans actually are. What Frank attributes to conservatives convincing people to ignore their best interests is actually conservatives listening to working people and proposing ideas that they might actually like.
And judging from how well the Left has been dealing with the election of Donald Trump in 2016, they still haven’t figured it out. While the Trump Administration wasn’t exactly the best and brightest, they did get quite a few things right, including cutting taxes for working Americans. And contrary to what Leftists want us to believe, those tax cuts weren’t just for the wealthy. According to the IRS, middle class and working class people benefited the most from Trump’s tax cuts.
Then, Joe Biden rolled into town and undid all of that. Yay?
Of course, the Administration had answers for just about every concern we had about rising costs and how to address them. A lot of them involved, surprise surprise, initiatives the Biden Administration and Leftists want. Worried about rising gas prices? Get an electric car! And if you’re still concerned, just laugh! Having trouble paying for groceries? It’s Russia’s fault! Supply chain problems? Spend more on infrastructure! Unemployed? Support green energy!
I haven’t seen anyone this tone deaf since William Hung, and we’re being run by several of these assclowns. But, hey, no mean tweets, amirite?
Yet, for all of the answers the Left seem to have, few of them actually apply to working Americans. The only thing preventing Republicans from getting more working class voters is they’re incompetent when it comes to closing the sale. For all of his faults, Donald Trump at least made an attempt, which is more than a previous Republican Presidential candidate and rich guy, Mitt Romney, did in 2012. Guess what? It fucking worked!
Right now the door is wide open for Republicans and conservatives to make the sale they might be better for working Americans than the Left is. The Left is too busy focusing on social issues that turn off many Americans and finding new ways to fuck up the country to bother with Joe Sixpack’s problems. Trump gave the GOP a blueprint, much to the chagrin of people like Romney, whose version of a Republican President is as exciting as mayonnaise.
While Republicans try to figure out how to attract working Americans and Leftist try to find new ways to screw them, the working class are left with financial problems, rising costs, and more broken promises than a treaty with Native Americans in the 1800s. And the only way that changes is if working Americans are open to change their thinking. Many of them are locked into voting for Democrats because it’s what they and their families have always done. It’s like a rite of passage, only with more bureaucracy. As Donald Trump said in 2016 when asked why working people should vote for him, “What have you got to lose?”
Given how expensive things are now, we can’t do any worse.
Let’s Go Dark Brandon?
It really shouldn’t amaze me the Left isn’t all that original, but even this one had me shaking my head. There’s a new hero on the Left, one of mythical proportions, a man (but I’m not a biologist) who kicks ass, takes names, and looks damn good doing it. His name is…Dark Brandon.
What started out as a way to try to spin out of a “Fuck Joe Biden” chant at a NASCAR event became a cultural phenomenon extending well beyond the political realm. So much so the Left had to co-opt it after spending months decrying the phrase. You know, just like they did with Err…I’m sorry, Air America during the height of conservative talk radio.
You know, I wonder what happened to those plucky progressives trying to give people an alternative to Rush Limbaugh. Oh, yeah, they closed their doors in 2010. But I’m sure they won’t make the same mistake by co-opting a chant from the Right, right?
Not so much.
Although I wasn’t keen on “Let’s Go Brandon,” I could understand the appeal. After all, more than a few people think Joe Biden should go fuck himself especially after everything he’s done to fuck us. And in the aftermath of 4 years of Donald Trump and his supporters feeling empowered to shout back at the Left, old habits die hard…in Minecraft.
The chants still go on, albeit less frequently than when it first became part of the political lexicon (see what I did there!). So, what better time than when the fad is starting to die down (in Minecraft) to start reframing it?
What the Left lacks in timeliness they make up for in lame ideas. And if Dark Brandon were a horse, it would already be glue (in Minecraft).
Leftists have power fantasies that would make Sigmund Freud go to therapy. They need to control as much as possible, including people. Naturally, that means they tend to gravitate towards people and ideas they see as powerful and expect the sheer force of that power to silence opposition. More often than not, the perception of force is enough to make people back down, which feeds their egos and makes them believe they are as powerful as they think they are. When that doesn’t work, they pull out all the stops to flex on you, including whining to social media platforms about how you’re a meanie-head.
Ultimately, though, when they can’t get what they want, Leftists will find a way to scratch that control freak itch, even if they have to create an alternate reality to make it happen. That’s where the Dark Brandon persona comes into play. Leftists haven’t been happy with the way Joe Biden hasn’t gone after Republicans (at least, not until recently) and have suggested he’s too polite. After getting pissed at “Let’s Go Brandon” (and the President getting more than a little confused about who this Brandon guy is), the Left started leaning into it a bit more.
Thus, Dark Brandon was born.
Dark Brandon is everything Joe Biden isn’t. He’s decisive, aggressive towards his political enemies, tells it like it is, and lost all semblance of giving a fuck a long time ago. And Leftists are eating it up. But here’s the kicker. Dark Brandon isn’t a dark alternative version of Joe Biden; he’s a Leftist Donald Trump. And just like with Err America, the progressive copy is vastly inferior to the original.
As much as the Left wants the President to go on the offensive, they’re only making the argument why Donald Trump should get a second term as President. (That, and the economy being so far in the shitter, you’ll need to go spelunking to find the bottom.) Make no mistake, though. The Left was never against mean tweets, just mean tweets about them. They’re perfectly willing to go lower than a snake’s cock ring when it suits them.
But here’s the part I’m not sure the Left understands yet, if they ever will. By creating Dark Brandon and fawning over him and what he represents, Leftists are admitting the Biden Administration has been a failure. They’ll say it’s because Biden doesn’t go far enough Left, but it’s really because he’s truly not capable of leading a one-person parade, let alone the United States. Of course, this was obvious to anyone who paid attention to his career as a politician, but no one expects the Left to stay informed on current events, or events over 45 years, for that matter.
Either way, the Left embracing Dark Brandon right now encapsulates the problems they face right now right before the midterm elections. Not only will they have to defend Biden’s record, but they’ll have to figure out how to reconcile the fantasy they’ve created and the reality of how bad Biden’s done so far.
Good luck with that.
Leftist Lexicon Word of the Week
The big news this week involved President Joe Biden finally making good on a campaign promise to forgive at least some student loan debt. Many Leftists were overjoyed (mainly because I’m sure a number of them would be the beneficiaries of the President’s generosity), but there are more than a few people who are expressing concern about whether the student loan forgiveness initiative would be as effective and as expensive as promised.
Regardless of the boondoggle…I mean efforts to address student loan debt, there are a lot of questions to be asked. And I’m just the killjoy asshole to ask them.
student loan forgiveness
What the Left thinks it means – a compassionate move that will help college students and the economy at the same time
What it really means – the start of a lot of economic, Constitutional, and legal chaos with the stroke of a pen
On paper, student loan forgiveness sounds good. By forgiving up to $10,000 of loan debt, debtors and former debtors would have more money at their disposal, which could then be recirculated into the economy in all sorts of ways. And 10 grand will buy a lot of Starbucks and avocado toast!
Which some of these students complaining about the amount of loan debt they have to pay off are already buying in the first place, but we’re not supposed to know that…
Although the thought of more money going towards iPhones and gaming consoles is tantalizing to the capitalist in me, the long term implications are scarier than having Bill Clinton show up at your doorstep to pick up your daughter for a date. (Hey, at least it’s not Charlie Sheen!) And knowing how our friends on the Left aren’t known for planning any further out than the length of a TikTok video, you can bet few, if any, of the loudest proponents have given much thought to what I’m about to lay out for you.
Then again, it might be because I’m a weirdo. Either way, here goes!
– The Constitution may not grant the President the powers necessary to make this happen. President Biden’s actions came to pass because of an Executive Order, which is pretty much the President saying, “Do this because, fuck you, I’m the President.” Well, the Executive Order isn’t exactly a one-and-done situation because it can be challenged Constitutionally. And that brings us to Article I, Section 8 of the Constitution, which authorizes Congress “to pay the Debts and provide for the common Defence and general Welfare of the United States…” Now, last time I checked, President Biden was no longer in Congress, even though he spent most of my life in it. That means unless Congress signs off on it, it ain’t happening for long before the Supreme Court gets involved. And with the current makeup of the High Court, you can bet Biden’s Executive Order will get smacked down harder than Mike Tyson beating up Richard Simmons.
– It has the potential to fuck up contract law. A loan is a contact between a lender and a borrower. With student loans, the lender is often the government. And, we all know how fiscally responsible it is, amirite? Anyway, forgiving even a portion of the debt affects the existing contract. Even though the government is one of the particulars of the loan in this case, it has the potential to set precedent once a court gets involved. Get the right judge in the right court to rule in a certain way and before you can say “habeas corpus” the government has the authority to alter any contract it wants, possibly even if it’s not a party to the original agreement. Welcome to Legal Chaos Land, population…well, us.
– The economic impact isn’t as cut and dried as we’ve been told. It seems intuitive that if you give people more money they will spend it. That’s been borne out with tax cuts and credit cards for decades, although the Left still isn’t convinced of the former. Now, add in a little thing called inflation, which all of us are enduring right now. If you have to take out a third mortgage to get groceries, no amount of money from the forgiving of existing student debt will help for very long.
– It doesn’t fix the underlying problems. There are a few reasons why student loan debt is so high. Part of it is the rising tuition costs. Since 1980, average tuition costs have risen by 1200%. And, no, that’s not a typo. And since tuitions have gotten higher than Willie Nelson on 4/20, the federal government has had to lend more money to students. And that includes interest with rates and conditions that make payday loan sharks look legit. Of course, once colleges and universities know the government will keep forking over the money, they will find reasons to keep raising tuition, and the cycle begins anew. And there is no incentive for either party to change that dynamic after some of the loans are forgiven. The college/university still gets its money, and the government gets to look like it cares about people. They don’t, of course…
– Once you get a bite of the apple, you’ll want more. By nature, humans tend to be greedy, self-serving, and always looking to push the limits to see what they can get away with. Right now, it’s only $10,000 that will get forgiven, but does it end there? Judging from recent government boondoggles…I mean programs like TARP and PPP, it’s likely there will be more demands for other and more financial assistance. Next, it will be $20,000, then $50,000, then it will be because free range artesian goat cheese costs have gone up, and before you know it, just about every whim will come with a federal grant. You know, like the National Endowment for the Arts?
There are others drawbacks, but I think you get the idea. Now, if you could explain it to the Left, we might be getting somewhere.
Right now, the Left is counting on the compassion card to get us not to think about the nagging questions of the wisdom of student loan forgiveness. For most of the population, it works. We don’t want to see people suffer, but there are also limits. If people suffer as a result of dumb decisions, our compassion tends to go the way of David Duke Appreciation Night at the Apollo. It’s the old “hand up, not hand out” mentality, and it still works today. I’m all for giving people a chance to apply themselves and earn some scratch from the sweat of their brows. Being allowed to have a chunk of your student loan that you’ve accumulated by studying Post Modern Albino Inuit Gender-Queer Photography in 16th Century Burma without even chipping a nail? Not so much.
And it’s not because I want college students to suffer under excessive debt. It’s because I want them to understand the feeling of earning something instead of just being granted it. Yes, not everybody will win a trophy under this mindset, but it will mean more when you do because you learn what you’re made of and what you’re worth. Platitudes and payoffs don’t teach you anything but how to whine until you get your way. That doesn’t make you anything but an asshole with the potential to be a Karen when you grow up.
And God knows we have enough of those as it stands.