When you really think about it (and I do because my social life makes the Amish look like Charlie Sheen), there are a lot of logistical pieces in motion with any deportation process. For one, where do we keep the alleged illegal immigrants while they await their day in court? I have some ideas, but I’m not sure the Leftists crying about “due process” would like them.
Let’s just say they would get to know the illegal immigrants up close and personal.
But where there is a challenge, America finds a way to address it. In this case, we opened a new detention facility in Florida called “Alligator Alcatraz.” Even though it hasn’t been open for very long, it’s already garnering a lot of controversy, from allegations of detainee mistreatment to, and I wish I wasn’t making up, selling merch. Some Leftists have already started calling it “Alligator Auschwitz” because “Trump is literally Hitler” or some shit.
Either way, I would be remiss in my bloggy duties if I didn’t cover this in some fashion, so here we go!
Alligator Alcatraz
What the Left thinks it means – a concentration camp for people who are accused of not being here legally because of their skin color
What it really means – an outgrowth of the Left’s approach to illegal immigration
If the past couple of months has told us anything, it’s that the Left hasn’t met an illegal immigrant they don’t like. And the worse the criminal, the better. Under the watchful eye of President Brick Tamland, illegal immigration blew up more than Rosie O’Donnell with an allergic reaction. Such a large influx not only created strains on our social safety net, but created a nightmare for anyone who tried to enforce the law.
So, that’s why Leftists chose to ignore the law. Well, that, and they’re power hungry assholes, but still.
And under President Tamland, the scheme worked perfectly. More illegal immigrants came into the country with only a fraction of them or the ones already here being returned. All the Left needed to do was not to pick bumbling idiot to be the head of the 2024 ticket.
But, they did it anyway.
Now that there’s a new sheriff in town, there’s been more of a concerted effort to deport illegal immigrants, especially ones who have committed heinous crimes like human trafficking, smuggling, abuse, even murder. And that’s not exactly a small number, kids. This change in approach created a new set of headaches in order to deport the bad apples by the book.
Of course, my idea to use them to test the range of catapults was soundly rejected, but not for a lack of effort. Missed opportunities, I guess.
Anyway, the legal process requires the accused get their days in court, but considering the immigration courts move only slightly faster than continental drift, there came the need to house the accused in the meantime. This is where sites like Alligator Alcatraz come into play.
Now, this next part may be hard for Leftists to understand, so I’ll try to be as clear as I can. These facilities aren’t meant to be the Ritz Carlton. They’re going to be bare bones and intended to keep the bad guys inside. It’s not meant to be nice; it’s meant to be such a deterrent that people with an IQ above the number of people who still think Bluesky could become the next Social Media Platform Formerly Known As Twitter won’t want to go there.
As bad as it’s meant to be, we still have at least some standards to maintain. Meals, sanitation, access to legal counsel, the potential for buggery, and other essentials, for example. This is where the Left says Alligator Alcatraz falls short. Allegations of worms in food to large insects to a lack of sanitary conditions came flooding in faster than illegal immigrants under President Tamland.
This is where my bullshit meter starts going off. A lot. Some of the complaints like large bugs to sweltering temperatures can be explained simply: it’s fucking Florida. Some of the others, like the allegations of worms in the food, seem too horrible to be real. And when you consider Alligator Alcatraz had food trucks come onto the site, I’m going to say the claims of worms in the food might be exaggerated.
Unless those worms were of the gummy variety.
Another reason I have to call bullshit on many of the claims being made about conditions at Alligator Alcatraz is who is making them and who is reporting them. The source for the allegations is detainees. On the surface, they would be the best people to report on conditions inside the facility, but there’s one tiny hitch.
They’re fucking criminals.
Criminals from pickpockets to mass murderers all deal in some level of deceit, especially when they get caught. Nobody’s ever guilty. They’re all the victims of circumstance or a miscarriage of justice. Even if they’re caught red handed, they’ll say “It wasn’t me” more often than Shaggy.
In other words, they have a vested interest in lying. Not unlike the media covering the controversy, who have a vested interest in making anything related to Trump into the worst possible thing ever. I haven’t been able to confirm this independently, so take it with a grain of salt, but if what I’ve heard is true, there have been zero journalists who have been inside Alligator Alcatraz. That means the only source for these stories are those with a predisposition to lie.
Fucking brilliant.
And don’t get me started on the whole “Alligator Auschwitz” shit. Calling the facility a concentration camp, even in jest, is not just factually wrong, but grossly inappropriate. What’s more, none of the Leftists making these kind of remarks has stepped foot inside of Alligator Alcatraz, so they’re speaking out of their asses.
You know, like any other day.
Of course, this is done to play up the “Trump is literally Hitler” angle…again. At this point, the Left has invoked Nazis more than the History Channel and on far less justifiable grounds. And at least the History Channel has “Forged In Fire” which kicks all kind of ass, unlike Leftists.
Having said all that, I have a bone to pick with the way the Right is acting when it comes to Alligator Alcatraz. And by bone, I mean an entire fucking T Rex skeleton.
To some on the Right (I’m looking at you, Laura Loomer), this is all one big joke with alligators eating illegal immigrants as the punchline. This isn’t a joke, folks. These are still human beings. Yes, human beings who have committed a shitload of crimes against others, but human beings nonetheless. Their detainment shouldn’t be used as fodder for t-shirts, tacky souvenirs, and happy photo ops. It should be treated with the seriousness of the situation. The more you don’t, the easier it gets for the Left to paint you as inhuman monsters devoid of any decency whatsoever.
Not that they don’t already think that, mind you, but don’t give them the ammunition to keep doing it.
I see Alligator Alcatraz much like I see DOGE: a decent idea executed poorly. But it’s not the concentration camp the Left wants us to think it is, nor is it the Disneyland with more MS-13 members the Right wants us to think it is. It’s a metaphor for how fucked up we’ve gotten as a society. Yes, we need to find places to detain illegal immigrants while they get due process, but this may not be the way to go. Instead, send them to be with people who will truly appreciate the cultural gifts they bring to the country.
That’s right. Let’s send them to Beverly Hills.
