Typically, I prefer to discuss ideas rather than people here on the Lexicon. For one, talking ideas doesn’t lead to fractured relationships, hurt feelings, and getting called a heartless asshole. For another, ideas can’t lawyer up and sue me for shit. But there are times when a person stands up and demands you pay attention to him or her.
So, welcome to the Leftist Lexicon, Senator John Fetterman!
John Fetterman
What the Left thinks it means – a capable Democrat Senator fighting for the working man
What it really means – an incapable Democrat Senator appearing to fight for the working man when he isn’t fighting in stupid slap fights
Although you might not know it from his manner of dishevelment… I mean dress, Fetterman’s story is one of relative privilege. He attended Albright College, a private college in Pennsylvania, where the most recent tuition will set you back a cool $27,560 per semester. Oh, but they offer financial aid, so it totally makes it not an overpriced shithole where you only need a 3.05 GPA to be accepted!
For you Leftists out there and Senator Fetterman, that was sarcasm.
After receiving an MBA from the University of Connecticut and a Master of Public Policy from Harvard, Fetterman went into the insurance business, a pretty lucrative career because people will always do stupid shit. Then, he made the jump into politics, which has proven to be more lucrative because people will always ask him to do stupid shit and pay him money to do it. Starting out as the Mayor of Braddock, PA, Fetterman made a name for himself.
Not in a good way.
But that didn’t stop him! He was Lt. Governor and later ran for the US Senate in 2022, beating out Dr. Mehmet “Not the Wizard of” Oz, who was backed by former President Donald Trump. (More on that later.)
Since his election to the Senate, Fetterman has taken up a number of Leftist causes, but he’s still fighting for the working class! He even caused a stir recently due to his propensity to dress like he’s about to mow his lawn instead of representing the state of Pennsylvania. As a result of Republican complaints, that stalwart of decency Sen. Charles “Amy’s Lesser Known Relative” Schumer relaxed the Senate dress code so Fetterman could continue to look like a bum while getting paid a king’s ransom. Fetterman went so far as to make a deal with the “jagoffs in the House”: support Ukraine and not shut down the government and he’ll wear a suit on the Senate floor.
Hope you like what you elected, Pennsylvania.
Actually, that’s a bit harsh. There is plenty of blame to go around, from Dr. Oz being such a bad candidate Hillary Clinton sued him for plagiarism, to Donald Trump, who endorsed Oz over other more viable (and easily more articulate) candidates because…fame equals electability, I guess? Regardless of who you or I blame, the point is Fetterman is a Senator.
And a sham.
Pennsylvania has a blue collar reputation, earned from decades of hard working men and women in the steel industry and other such work-intensive jobs. And they can sense a bullshitter a mile away…usually. In this case, Fetterman convinced enough people to ignore his privileged past and just focus on him being one of them. He sounded the part (i.e. the previous Tweet with the word “jagoffs”), he looked the part, and he supported a $15 per hour minimum wage. He issued a press release supporting striking members of the United Auto Workers and even flew to Michigan to join the picket lines.
But it’s all an act. He’s going through the motions and saying the right things to keep his image of an everyman intact. All he has to do is hate the right people and things (i.e. the rich), and he’s set for life. Just like any other Senator today.
Although many others have commented on Fetterman’s mental faculties taking a hit since he had a stroke in 2022, I’m going to refrain from mocking that. First, it’s tacky. Fun, but tacky. Second, making fun of his issues will only help him appear to be a victim. That’s right, kids, Mr. Big Tough Average Joe plays the victim card like a blackjack dealer on truck stop speed working straight commission because…people made fun of him! Oh the horror!!!!!
Someone get Fetterman a fainting futon, stat!
That doesn’t speak well of Fetterman in the character department because it shows his willingness to exploit personal frailty for political gain. Sure, it’s funny when he garbles his words to the point Kamala Harris looks like William F. Buckley in the erudite speaking arena, but behind the verbal stumbles and occasional mental short circuits lies a man who is playing voters like a Stradivarius.
And if current approval ratings among Democrats are any indication, Fetterman is Itzhak Perlman in gym shorts.
But the same poll that shows Fetterman’s popularity with his own party also shows he’s not as well liked at home. I can only speculate as to why, but it’s clear Fetterman’s new Senator smell might be wearing off, leaving the odor of the Ghost of Cheeseburgers Past lingering in the air. Whether that will continue until he’s up for reelection in 2028 is also a matter of opinion. In the meantime, Pennsylvanians will have to get used to being represented by someone who looks like he could be asking you for spare change.
More to the point, however, John Fetterman is on the level of the Socialist Socialite as far as effectiveness: not very. But when you’re a Leftist darling, you can practically do no wrong until you fall out of favor. Just ask Cindy Sheehan, Kyrsten Sinema, and Bob Menendez. Although you might want to ask that last one sooner rather than later because he might be heading to prison soon. So, as long as Fetterman does what he’s told to do and attack those the Left want attacked, he should be fine.
Which fucking sucks because he’s so incompetent I’m surprised he hasn’t been tapped to be in the Puddin’ Head Joe Administration.
Category: Humor
Quick Hits
I’m sorry there wasn’t a Leftist Lexicon entry this week. There were so many topics and not enough time to devote to delving into them. I don’t want to do a half-assed job of it, considering that’s what I do already. If I half-ass my usual half-ass job, you’re only getting a quarter-ass, and that’s not good enough. If I’m going to half-ass something, I’m going to half-ass it all the way, baby
To make up for the lack of a Lexicon entry, I’m bringing back one of my Quick Hits segments where I give my opinions on topics that are interesting (at least to me), but may not be able to be developed into a full blog post. Hope you enjoy!
GOP on Abortion – The Left has been talking about how Republicans can craft a winning message on abortion now that Roe v Wade has been relegated back to the states. And from what I’m hearing, some Republicans want the next President to do something on the federal level to protect babies in the womb.
Ummm…that’s what Roe v Wade was, kids. The Supreme Court just sent abortion rights back to the states and you asshats want to bring it back to the federal level? That’s proving what the pro-baby-death…I mean reproductive rights crowd said about you right. Don’t give them such an easy W.
The War in Ukraine – It’s still going on, and we’re still on the hook for billions of dollars until, well, we get tired of being Ukraine’s sugar daddy. People are starting to figure out there’s more to the Ukraine-Russia conflict than democracy. Namely, a lot of money for politicians who would love nothing more than to keep Ukraine in the fight if only to hide the covert business dealings.
During the second Gulf War, Leftists chanted “No blood for oil.” Now these same Leftists are practically chanting “All the blood for 10% for the Big Guy.”
UAW Strike – The big three automakers watched as members of the United Auto Workers union walked off the jobs due to the companies not meeting union demands. Among the union’s demands were a 40% pay raise over 4 years with an immediate raise of 20%. As someone who hasn’t seen more than a single-digit raise in, oh, ever, a 20% hike is impressive…in its stupidity.
Look, I know the Big Three made record profits, but that doesn’t make it automatically yours, regardless of what Puddin’ Head Joe tells you. Before you start holding out your hands expecting the Big Three to shower you with money, think about the expenditures side of the ledger. If I make $1 billion in profit and I spend $900 million of that to expand my business or make necessary adjustments to existing worksites, the profit side goes down a bunch. How are the Big Three spending these record profits? Until you can answer that question, don’t look for me on the picket lines.
Another union demand was a cost of living increase to match inflation. You know, the inflation created in large part by the idiots they helped elect in 2020?
And speaking of one of those idiots…
the Biden impeachment – Speaker of the House Kevin McCarthy announced the initiation of an inquiry into whether Puddin’ Head Joe broke the law via influence peddling through Joe’s crackhead son, Hunter. (More on him later.) Well, the Left broke out the “sham impeachment” talk early and often, stating there was no evidence Puddin’ Head Joe broke the law. And they’re right…if you ignore all the evidence that literally exists.
But I will have to say the Left knows what a sham impeachment looks like, considering they did two of them to former President Donald Trump.
gun rights in New Mexico – After recent shootings in her state, New Mexico Governor Michelle Lujan Grisham issued an executive order banning the right to carry, citing a public health emergency. As you might imagine, this went over as well as the Botulism Special at Chipotle. Here’s how fucked up it got: Rep. Ted Lieu and poster boy for gun control David Hogg said Lujan Grisham was full of shit.
Since her initial fuck-up and subsequent doubling down, Lujan Grisham has amended her original order to restrict the right to carry only in public parks and playgrounds. And she vowed to keep looking for a way to make her fuck-up legal.
I’d wish you luck, Madam Governor, but I really don’t want to.
Elon Musk and Starlink – In their quest to make themselves look even more like their party mascot, the Left let their hate boner for Elon Musk get the better of them again as it relates to the Russia-Ukraine war. Seems there’s a groundswell of Leftists calling out Musk for…not letting Ukraine use his technology for their military gain. That bastard!
While the Left keeps trying to make the case Musk should be arrested for not being Ukraine’s bitch, they’re missing a pretty important concept: it’s his fucking toy! Last time I checked, we still had the right to refuse service in America, and since Starlink is specifically for residential internet use, Musk rightly said no when Ukraine asked to use it for military use. Whenever the government tries to force you to use a product or service, it winds up being a legal battle down the line, one the Left tends to lose.
Can you say “Obamacare” and “mask mandates”? I knew you could.
Muslims and the LBGTQIAABCDEFGHOWMANYMOREFUCKINGLETTERSAREWEGOINGTOADD+ community – The gay rights community has found itself a new opponent to add to the list of the opponents they already have: Muslims. News reports from across the country show more and more Muslims are standing up to the “Gay Mafia” and refusing to knuckle under to their demands. Now, I’m not ready to start praying to Allah, but I have to wonder if the Left ever saw this coming. I mean, it’s not like Muslims have strict religious doctrine surrounding homosexuahhhhhhh yes they do. And it’s not like it’s hidden, either. Even the most permissive Islamic sects aren’t keen on gay rights.
Apparently, those “Coexist” bumper stickers are as deep as the Left cares to go on this topic.
the Hunter Biden blues – Yep, First Fuck-Up Hunter Biden was finally brought up on federal gun charges after only getting a judicial slap on the wrist for what amounts to tax fraud. Of course, if someone from the IRS wants to show me where hookers and blow are tax deductible, I’d be willing to hear him/her out. Even the staunchest pro-gun control Leftists are saying the actual actions Hunter took aren’t usually prosecuted and, thus, are no big deal.
Let that dumbfuckery sink in for a moment. These fucknuckles are the ones who fought for these laws to be put on the books in the first place, but now that the President’s son is the one caught breaking the law, it’s become a race to see who can come up with the shittiest takes to minimize the damage it will do to Puddin’ Head Joe’s reelection campaign in 2024. And without going into too much detail, rest assured the Left sent their best to come up with the worst takes.
If this doesn’t prove the gun control side is motivated by everything but actual safety, nothing will.
a Tale of Four Titties – Politics and sex go hand in, well you know, and 2023 is no different. On the Left, we have Democrat candidate for the Virginia statehouse Susanna Gibson who offered users of a website called Chaturbate the opportunity to see her perform sexually explicit acts for money. On the Right, we have Rep. Lauren Boebert who was caught on surveillance camera getting frisky with her date at a performance of “Beetlejuice.”
Guess which one the Left and the media (but I repeat myself) have been talking about more. Spoiler Alert: it’s Boebert.
Regardless of where you come down on the political spectrum, we’re coming into an age where this type of sexual shit is going to become more prevalent, and being prudish (or faux prudish for political means) isn’t going to make people act better. The sooner we come to terms with the fact adults like to fuck other adults, the sooner we can move onto more important issues, like how to unfuck our economy. Grow up, people!
And last, but certainly least…
Meet the Press boycott – It was a new era on television, as Kristen Welker took over the failing political news/talk show “Meet the Press” this week. And who was one of her guests? Donald Trump.
Well, let’s just say the Left wasn’t happy Welker gave the former President a platform by which he could…talk about his ongoing 2024 Presidential campaign. See, Leftists (who are totes pro-freedom and not at all fascist) have been trying to find a way to disqualify Trump from running again, and they saw the sit-down interview as a slap to their collectivist faces. And now, these Leftists are going to boycott the show…even if all 14 faithful viewers won’t notice the difference.
And if the power goes off in the coma section of the hospital, that number is gonna drop hard.
Well, I hope you enjoyed this brief look at the wonderful wacky world of American politics, law, and culture. See you soon!
Leftist Lexicon Word of the Week
Normally, your friendly neighborhood blogger spends time writing about politics or social issues that deserve to be mocked. This week I’m stretching my legs a bit to go into the tech world…to mock it.
Artificial Intelligence, or AI for short, has taken the world by storm, and by storm I mean CAT 4 Billion hurricane. Although the technology being used now to create AI bots online is at tin-cans-connected-by-string level, it’s starting to get better. And it’s starting to get people worried.
So worried that the Puddin’ Head Joe Administration put Vice President Kamala Harris the AI Czar. Who better to discuss Artificial Intelligence than a real dumbass?
Needless to say (which is why I’m typing it), the Left is starting to feel the heat from the rise of AI. Which means it’s the perfect subject…to mock them.
AI
What the Left thinks it means – a technological advance that will negatively affect the arts, human interaction, and social issues
What it really means – a computer pretending to be human…for now
The concept of AI has been around since last century in science fiction and other fantastic stories, but it didn’t really come into being until 1954, when Allen Newell, Cliff Shaw, and Herbert Simon came up with a program called Logic Theorist, which attempted to duplicate the thought processes of a human. When it was unveiled two years later, it was heralded as a breakthrough, as it should have been.
From there, AI experienced highs and lows, advances and setbacks, peanut butter and jelly. Once the matter of computer storage was resolved, AI truly began to come into its own, thanks to a little computer known as Deep Blue. In 1996, IBM pit the computer against chess champion Garry Kasparov in a chess match which Deep Blue shockingly won. This was the first sign AI was not only possible, but had the potential to outperform humans.
Do you want SkyNet? Because this is how we get SkyNet.
Seriously, though, in the nearly 30 years after Deep Blue, AI has found its way into society, tech and non-tech alike. The currently striking screenwriters are afraid AI will replace them. (Given the absolute dog shit Hollywood has been putting out the past two decades, though, I’m not sure it’s that big of a loss.) “South Park” devoted an episode to ChatGPT where part of the script was written by it. Even art is seeing AI’s slow creep into its hallowed halls.
And earlier this month, Warner Music signed the world’s first AI generated pop star, Noonoouri. The song, “Dominoes,” is about what you would expect. Words strung together to a beat with a noticeable hook that’s easy to like. In other words, just like pop music today, but with more natural singing.
I have a lot of questions, not the least of which being how a computer program can get paid by a studio to produce music, but the point is still AI has found its way into our culture in a new way: through shitty music.
But it’s not all virtual sunshine and online lollipops for AI. A recent poll showed over 60% of people surveyed view AI as a threat to our future. Others feel their jobs could be negatively affected by the rise of AI just in California alone. Although AI has the potential to revolutionize many vital fields like medicine, the fear of AI replacing humans is real.
And this is where I throw a wet blanket on the fearmongering. Ain’t I a stinker?
The thing to remember about AI is it’s only as good as the people programming it and the program’s ability to react to new data sources. That’s why I said we were still at the tin-cans-connected-by-string level earlier. The technology is still relatively new and is getting better at an astounding rate with no ceiling as yet as to how much better it will get, but it’s still limited by human intelligence and biases.
Take facial recognition software, for example. One of the most well-known problems with it can be tied to unconscious racial biases, which can only be programmed by…humans with these biases. The program isn’t capable of it; it’s just doing what it’s been told to do as quickly as possible.
That’s AI’s Achilles’ heel, folks. AI as it stands right now is only capable of following orders within the parameters of the program itself. The “learning” it’s doing is by design, which means the data can be manipulated or controlled. Just ask Microsoft how its AI chatbot turned into a racist by going on Twitter.
Although it’s nice to see us applying more caution to AI than we did when the Internet became a thing, we need to ratchet back the fear and loathing going on right now. Yes, it has the potential to make some industries go by the wayside, but potential is not certainty. Every piece of technology we have has a due-by date. At some point in the future, it will become obsolete, and everything connected to that technology has to either evolve or become just as obsolete.
This is where free market capitalism comes into play. Any worker with his or her salt can adapt to changing conditions out of no other reason than economic necessity. He/she will gain new skills, learn new techniques, develop new attitudes and processes that will safeguard his/her job and possibly propel him/her to a new position. The grind may not always net these results, but they certainly help you look more indispensable.
This is not to say the writers, artists, etc., who are afraid for their jobs in the AI-crazy world aren’t working hard to hold onto them. They are. I’m saying their energies should be focused on ways to make them stand out in a good way. Instead of trying to figure out how to redo “Romeo and Juliet” with a modern twist or doing the 35 billionth representation of man’s inhumanity to man, find a way to bring an original idea to the forefront. Sure, you risk rejection, but the law of averages says at some point your original idea is going to resonate with someone.
As far as AI is concerned, I’m staying cautiously optimistic. Until an AI bot becomes self-aware and capable of overruling its programing, humanity will be safe. That’s not to say nothing’s going to change, but as long as humans keep being imperfect little meat puppets, we will always have the edge over any AI.
And if you really want to fuck with AI, make it only access Reddit. That will confuse it long enough for someone to pull the plug.
Leftist Lexicon Word of the Week
It’s really easy to go with the flow, especially when the rest of society seems to follow suit. We typically don’t like conflict because it’s usually more hassle than it’s worth. But there are times when the masses are asses (because the M is silent) and a person decides not to go along to get along.
In the world of women’s sports, Riley Gaines is just such a person. An accomplished student athlete, Gaines came into prominence for expressing concern over trans swimmer Lia Thomas dressing with and swimming against biological women, as well as the way the NCAA treated her when she tied Thomas in the 2022 NCAA Women’s Championships. And for that, she’s become a lightning rod for Leftists who want to paint her as transphobic.
After a recent ass-raping…I mean online conversation with Keith “Don’t You Know Who I Am?” Olbermann, I decided to take some time to delve into the Left’s hate boner for Riley Gaines.
Riley Gaines
What the Left thinks it means – a bitter former swimmer who is using transphobia to grift the right wing into ignoring her failures as a swimmer
What it really means – an actual feminist, not the Leftist mutant variety
At the heart of this aquatic controversy is a simple question, one the Left can’t seem to answer: what is a woman? Naturally, you would think the Party of Science would be able to use, you know, science to provide insight and logic in a response. You would think that, but you’d be wrong.
See, the Left can’t rely on the science here because it would confirm what everyone who doesn’t reside in Delusionville has been saying from the start: there are only 2 genders. Because of this, the Party of Science has to be unscientific and muddy the genetic waters to allow for trans people to identify as whichever gender they want without having to deal with the hassle of actually being said gender.
Now, throw in the physical and psychological differences between men and women, put all of this into the athletic arena, and you’ll get…one confusing gender gumbo. The thing is you don’t need to be a scientist to know men and women have physical differences that would play a factor in the outcomes of athletic contests. You know…like, oh I don’t know…swimming.
Consider something as simple as arm span when it comes to swimming. Although there are some women whose spans can rival those of men, more often than not the advantage will go to the men. Longer arm span generates more force that will propel the swimmer further and potentially faster in the pool. Put in a way even Leftists can understand: biological men, regardless of how they identify, will have more of an edge in the pool.
And before you Leftists try to “correct” me saying Thomas was transitioning at the time, it is noted she started to take hormones after coming out as trans in 2018. Even so, she retained the body of a biological male. See, hormone treatments don’t affect biology in that way. They can affect the way one looks, but they don’t change muscle density, bone structure, or genetics. Until you can affect that, it’s still a man, baby, as can be corroborated by eyewitnesses.
Like Riley Gaines.
Gaines is reviled for standing up for women’s sports, not because she’s a transphobe, but because she’s cuts through the Left’s bullshit when it comes to trans women in sports. She’s been directly affected by the Left’s “conform or be cast out” approach in spite of tying Thomas. Since she can’t be silenced, the Left have taken a new approach: paint her as a sore loser.
Just like Keith Olbermann, Nebraska state Senator Megan Hunt, and pro-trans Leftists did.
Now, if I remember Leftist squawking points correctly, we’re supposed to believe women when they’ve been assaulted. Also, if we attack women, it’s because we’re misogynists afraid of strong, outspoken women. So, what would that make Leftists attacking Gaines?
Hypocrites. The judges would have also accepted “assholes.”
What it doesn’t make them is feminists, not even in the Leftist sense of the word. It wasn’t that long ago that Leftists were at the forefront of women’s rights, even to the point of pushing female supremacy. Sure, they’ll pay lip service to the pro-baby death…I mean “pro choice” movement, but what has that gotten them?
Cash. Lots and lots of cash.
And the thing is Gaines isn’t even what the Left would consider a feminist because they have expanded the definition to include women who were born men. However, Gaines is a classical feminist in the sense she wants to have as much of a shot at success as men do. Too bad the NCAA and the Left want to keep women down.
After all this time, it’s taken men who claim to be women to make Leftist feminists bend the knee in the name of inclusion and diversity. Isn’t it ironic, doncha think?
Although Riley Gaines is swimming against the current, she’s made headway in getting people to recognize the issues with trans women competing with biological women in athletics. This is going to make her famous, infamous, and a target for unnecessary vitriol, all at the same time. But as any martyr will tell you, the righteousness of the cause provides an unshakable courage that will carry you through any rough times. Of course, in order to be a martyr, you have to die for your cause, so talking to them might be an issue unless you have a great metaphysical roaming plan through your cell phone provider.
While you get that sorted out, just consider there are more and more people taking up for Gaines quietly because of the way the Left and the trans community coerce people into submission. But if you think you can suffer the slings and arrows of outrageously stupid Leftists, add your name to the chorus and let the world know you want women to compete against women.
Especially if there’s a kiddie pool full of Jello involved.
Leftist Lexicon Word of the Week
Through a President’s time in office, there are several defining moments that write how his (and eventually her) will be remembered. Ronald Reagan’s Brandenburg Gate speech (“Mr. Gorbachev, tear down this wall.”). George W. Bush’s first post-9/11 appearance in New York City. Bill Clinton using an intern as a humidor.
When the history of Puddin’ Head Joe’s administration is written, his handling of the wildfires in Maui will be referenced. Leftists are busy trying to make Puddin’ Head Joe look intelligent, decisive, and compassionate, while the real world is shaking its head in disbelief.
And I have a topic to discuss…while shaking my head in disbelief.
Maui wildfires
What the Left thinks it means – a clear example of Joe Biden’s leadership
What it really means – a clear example of Joe Biden’s leadership, just not in the way the Left thinks
To make things easier, here is a timeline of events so even Leftists can follow along. What started with strong winds quickly grew into a much larger problem within a matter of minutes, as natural disasters often do. Or in the case of Puddin’ Head Joe, a matter of weeks. More on that later.
Without missing a beat, Leftists leapt into action…to bring up climate change as the cause of or a significant factor in the destruction. This before an official investigation has been conducted in full and while Hawaiians are sorting through the loss of property and life. But remember, kids, Leftists care about people, dammit!
But apparently not enough to interrupt Puddin’ Head Joe’s vacation. In fact, the administration took an entire week before issuing a statement about the wildfires and what the Administration would do to help. A. Fucking. Week. And somewhere Michael “Heck of a job, Brownie” Brown is saying, “What the fuck??”
To put it mildly, Puddin’ Head Joe responded to the Maui wildfires with the sense of urgency of a drugged sloth after a year-long bender with Charlie Sheen. Between responses of “no comment” and initially offering a whopping $700 per household to Hawaiians affected by the wildfire, it was clear to anyone not guzzling the Leftist Kool Aid that Puddin’ Head Joe was out of his depth.
But, hey, no mean tweets, amirite?
Eventually (as in 2 weeks after the wildfires began), Puddin’ Head Joe and Dr. Jill dragged their asses to Maui to survey the damage. And they were met with much deserved criticism from politicians and Hawaiians alike. Granted, this was before the President spoke, so little did they know how much worse it was going to get.
Like comparing the loss of property and life to a fucking small house fire. And not even having the courtesy to tell the fucking truth! This is William Hung levels of tonedeafness. And once Puddin’ Head Joe and Dr. Jill did their bit for the cameras to show how much they care…they went back on vacation.
Remember how much shit Ted Cruz got for going on vacation during a winter blackout in Texas? I know he does. But if the Left didn’t have double standards, they wouldn’t have any standards at all.
Even with the already low bar the Left has set for Puddin’ Head Joe, he finds a way to limbo under it. But anyone who is surprised by the delays and ineptitude of the federal response have forgotten the disaster that was the East Palestine train derailment. One fumble could be explained away (and believe me the Left tried), but this is the second major disaster this year alone and the responses aren’t getting any better. Granted, we don’t want Presidents to have a lot of experience dealing with natural disasters, but you would think someone with Puddin’ Head Joe’s 50+ years of public service would have picked up a thing or two.
Then again, this is Joe Biden we’re talking about here. Even at his prime he wasn’t even an intellectual midget, let alone an intellectual giant. But he’s gotten by through a combination of a likeable personality and a party willing to turn away when Puddin’ Head Joe goes off script. The problem with this approach is eventually you’ll come across a situation where you can’t charm your way out of trouble and have to show you can do the job.
And the people of Maui are finding out Puddin’ Head Joe can’t do the job, even when it’s screamingly obvious what needs to happen.
That’s why the Left has to make the President look like he’s on top of it all and being the “empathizer-in-chief.” Oh, and to change headlines to blame climate change or praising him for the smallest of accomplishments. You know, just like what happened under previous Presidents faced with disasters, right?
Not so much.
As angry as this makes me, I can’t help but feel sorry for the people of Maui who are getting a taste of Leftist leadership at a time of need. The good thing for Puddin’ Head Joe is his ineptitude is happening this year and not in 2024 when he’s stumbling…I mean running for reelection. The voting public tend to have a short memory when it comes to bad performances in non-election years, especially when it comes to Leftists. The media play a big role in memory-holing anything negative and gaslighting you into thinking it never happened.
Don’t believe those pesky facts and eyewitness reports of Puddin’ Head Joe being Abe Simpson with the nuclear codes. Just sit back and watch more TikTok videos or go see the Barbie movie so you can talk about it on social media! After all, social media presence is much more important than the leader of the free world being not just senile, but an incredibly bad judge of character, intelligence, and competence.
As much as I’d like to think Hawaii is going to learn its lesson from the Maui wildfires, I have serious reservations. Case in point: perpetual dumbass Senator Mazie Hirono keeps getting reelected. But the residents’ vocal and visual disappointment in what Puddin’ Head Joe said and did is a ray of hope that somehow they’ve had enough of Leftist politicians and their lack of attention on the common person. The more people speak up about Biden’s fuckups, the harder it gets for Leftists to spin them as right wing cranks trying to attack the President for purely political reasons.
News Flash for you Leftists out there: not everyone who criticizes Puddin’ Head Joe is a MAGA-head. Anybody with a brain and basic human decency can tell you Biden fucked up big time here, and then proceeded to play “Top This” with himself over and over again.
If you want to help those affected by the Maui wildfires, here is a list of organizations to consider, as well as information on Glenn Beck’s charitable endeavors on that front. And give generously as you can because it’s clear Puddin’ Head Joe can’t be bothered to stay off vacation for more than a day to help.
Leftist Lexicon Word of the Week
To say California is the epicenter of batshit crazy is an understatement of Michael Moore sumo wrestling Rosie O’Donnell proportions, but there are still some times when I have to say, “No fucking duh!” This week, the San Francisco Chronicle reported due to “safety concerns” employees of the Nancy Pelosi Federal Building were advised to work from home.
No fucking duh!
Once one of the shining cities of the West Coast, San Francisco is starting to look like a crack whore once you sober up, only with more shit. What caused the downfall of the backdrop of many a “Full House” episode? I’m glad you asked!
San Francisco
What the Left thinks it means – a beautiful progressive city that exemplifies the best of Leftist causes
What it really means – a literal shithole that exemplifies the best of Leftist causes
If you really want to know the history of San Francisco prior to going further into this week’s Lexicon, here’s the Wikipedia entry. And try not to giggle too hard at the “commercial, financial, and cultural center” part.
Meanwhile back at 2023, San Francisco is not doing so hot. Depending on who you ask, crime is either a serious concern or not nearly as bad as some would lead us to believe. At one point, drug overdoses more than doubled COVID deaths in 2020. There were 7750 homeless people of various backgrounds as of 2022 in a city of 715,717, or for you mathheads out there, a little over 1% of the population.
But if you look at the chart in the previous link, you will notice San Francisco’s population has been declining since 2020. Which, of course, is Donald Trump’s fault…
Or it might be who the voters put into office. Nahhhhh!
Seriously, for all of the cultural diversity San Francisco is known for, this doesn’t appear to translate to ideological matters. After all, two of the favorite Leftist institutions of higher learning, Stanford and UC Berkeley, are housed in the Bay Area. And considering some of the graduates of said campuses, maybe they should be considered institutions, if you know what I mean.
And speaking of insanity, there are two elements that have made San Francisco (and California in general) into Thunderdome with more rainbow flags. We start with Proposition 47, an initiative to reduce penalties for non-violent crimes like shoplifting from possible felonies to misdemeanors. And, of course, this proposal passed because…reasons. Although Proposition 47 didn’t decriminalize shoplifting, it did act as a deterrent for police officers to investigate such crimes and for attorneys to prosecute them.
Then, there’s the second element: store employees trying to stop shoplifters are the ones who could be getting in trouble, thanks to the California Senate. Seems they passed a bill that would prohibit store employees from stopping shoplifters. And Leftists wonder why companies are pulling out of San Francisco?
Well, to put it simply for the Leftists, it’s your fucking fault this is happening. Not only are you creating an environment where you’d have to be insane to try to set up shop in San Francisco, but you’re disincentivizing companies to stay there. And what do you think will happen if those who generate income (i.e. a tax base) decide to pack up and go to greener pastures? Here’s a hint, kids: it doesn’t get better from here. And nothing the idiot used car salesman you elected Governor can say or do will fix that.
And that shitstain criticizes how Ron DeSantis governs in Florida? And he wants to run for President so he can bring his Leftist incompetence to the nation?
Sorry, Leftists. I’ll pass.
The sad thing is Leftists actually think San Francisco is a utopia, and they’re right. It’s just the utopia they see doesn’t involve going anywhere near where the problems are. Say what you will about Leftists, and believe me I do, but they are exceptional at living in more protective bubbles than John Travolta. (And if you got that reference, I thank you.) As long as they’re doing well, that’s all that matters.
But there’s a problem with that. Once the non-Leftists realize they outnumber the Leftists and get pissed off enough to do something about it, they tend to revolt. And I’m not talking about the pussy-ass Portland CHAD/CHOP bullshit, either. I’m talking French Revolution. The only thing stopping Reign of Terror 2: Electric Boogaloo is the Left keeps promising free stuff to the less fortunate to keep them docile and voting Democrat. And considering the last Republican mayor left office in 1964, it seems to be working.
However, Atlas is starting to shrug because there is only so much a population can take before they start looking for new leadership. Even as blue as the Bay Area was in 2020, turning it into Calcutta East isn’t a winning strategy, and you can’t keep offering free stuff while forcing businesses to keep items locked up due to shoplifting. The breaking point is coming, maybe not now or in 2024, but it is coming. And when Atlas finally shrugs, the people ignoring the problem right now are going to be the ones overwhelmed and needing help.
Until that happens, avoid San Francisco if at all possible, but also keep an eye on your own cities. For better or for definitely the worst, what happens in California tends to take hold in the rest of the country sooner or later. The only way to stop this insanity is to make sure it never takes hold. Easier said than done, I know, but if you arm yourselves with the facts, you can spot the San Francisco freak…I mean treat long before it hits Main Street.
And if that fails, invest heavily in hip waders because you’re gonna need ’em to navigate Brown Street, if you know what I mean…
Leftist Lexicon Word of the Week
Presidents often get legislation or policies named after them. Ronald Reagan had Reaganomics. Barack Obama had Obamacare. Donald Trump had lots of bullshit indictments.
And our pal Puddin’ Head Joe has Bidenomics.
While Leftists are bending over backwards to make Bidenomics look successful, even to the point of saying Puddin’ Head Joe doesn’t want to take credit for the success and telling people things are better than they seem. And in between suggesting the average American isn’t smart enough to realize how great things are right now.
Well, put on your hip waders, kids, because this shit is gonna get deep.
Bidenomics
What the Left thinks it means – Joe Biden’s successful economic plan that is bringing us out of the dark economic times following COVID-19
What it really means – trillioning down on a failed economic model that only works in theory
There once was an economist named John Maynard Keynes. And unlike the man from Nantucket from the dirty limerick, Keynes is entertaining for a completely different reason: his economic theories. Normally, this shit would be as boring as a mayonnaise sandwich on white bread, but in his time he advanced the radical notion that the government had the ability to create wealth and stability by spending money. This idea, called Keynesian economics, has been lauded by Leftists as valid. There’s just one problem.
It doesn’t work. Ever.
The major flaw in Keynesian economics is it overvalues the power of the government to fix economic problems while undervaluing the power of the government to cause economic problems. When government spends money to create jobs, it’s always our tax dollars at stake, and we don’t have the power to fire them when they fuck up like Hunter Biden’s Narcotics Anonymous sponsor. Throw in the sometimes confusing and no-competence-needed approach to government contracts, and you have the recipe for work not getting done well, thus wasting our money.
Can you say The Big Dig, boys and girls? I knew you could.
As far as the government controlling/stabilizing the economy through spending, they can’t even follow the laws they pass, let alone the laws of economics. At best, the government can move the needle in one direction or another by taking certain actions, like cutting taxes or spending money on a government grant to research why modern pop music sucks. The real power of any economy lies with the consumers. Just ask Bud Light.
When a private entity spends a dollar, it’s done in the expectation it will stimulate growth. When government spends a dollar, it’s done in the expectation it will stimulate growth…of the government itself. In other words, a private dollar spends differently than a government dollar because of the purpose of the expenditure. Keynes didn’t see the distinction, which has caused many a Leftist to follow suit.
Unfortunately for us, Puddin’ Head Joe seems to be a Keynes groupie, considering much of Bidenomics is right out of the Keynesian playbook. Then again, he was caught plagiarizing, so it may not be that surprising after all.
What is surprising, however, is how the Left is trying to portray Bidenomics as a raging success. They tout lower unemployment and decreased inflation as proof, and it’s hard to argue with the numbers.
That’s why I’m going to do it.
The same Puddin’ Head Joe administration that is taking credit for slashing inflation saw it hitting a 40 year high of 9.1% waaaaaaaaaay back in July…of 2022. As far as unemployment, Leftists tell us it’s at a historic low. But no one on the Left is digging into why it’s so low, mainly because it may be more due to job recovery than job creation. Nor are they willing to admit Donald Trump did it before Puddin’ Head Joe took the oath of office.
This leads to several questions, none of which the Left is prepared to answer. Let’s start off with the obvious: how in the Wide World of Fuck did Puddin’ Head Joe become President? More to the point, though, is why don’t people believe the economy is getting better. Well, aside from having to take out a third mortgage and work 14 jobs a week just to buy a day’s worth of groceries, I don’t see where they are getting the idea the economy is a dumpster fire the size of two sumo wrestlers or one Lizzo.
Seriously, though, I do see why. For all of the economic successes we’re allegedly having, it’s not translating to success at home. And, no, it’s not because Bidenomics has been rolled out worse than the Obamacare website. It’s because, like the Obamacare website, it’s being run by people with no business running it.
Look at who Puddin’ Head Joe put in charge of his economic policy. I don’t know them personally, but judging by their backgrounds and the results going on in real time, I wouldn’t trust them to run a 5k, let alone an economy. Why not go all in and appoint Paul “The Internet’s Impact On the Economy Will Be No Greater Than the Fax Machine’s” Krugman to run the economy. At least we know he will be wrong from the jump instead of having to wait for more proof. And if we do the exact opposite of what Krugman says, we’re guaranteed to be successful.
If you take a look at the people behind Bidenomics, though, you should notice not a lot of them have actual work experience outside of government and think tanks. They don’t seem to know what Joe Six Pack and his family deal with on a regular basis, which taints their thought processes. Well, that, and being part of the Leftist Hivemind. That disconnect between the policy makers and the policy victims drives a lot of the feelings that the Left doesn’t understand what’s going on outside of the Beltway Bubble.
So, instead of trying to close that information gap, the Left simply tells us to shut up and look at the numbers. Oh, and vote for Puddin’ Head Joe in 2024 to keep the good times rollin’! Of course, that’s assuming you can afford to pay for gas to get you to the polling place in 2024 without having to betroth your daughters to a Washington bureaucrat in exchange for dowries.
Or your sons because DC swings all ways, baby!
I do have to agree with Puddin’ Head Joe on one aspect of his economic philosophy. He once said, “Don’t tell me what you value, show me your budget, and I’ll tell you what you value.” And he’s exactly right. Based on recent spending requests, Puddin’ Head Joe’s values apparently involve Ukraine, but not so much America. So, sleep well knowing our President is working hard…for another country.
On the bright side, Puddin’ Head Joe proves Keynesian economics is bullshit, so yay, I guess?
Bidenomics is a Jar Jar Binks level stupid idea based on ideas that have been tried by previous economic illiterates and failed every time. It’s cold comfort when your monthly expenditures look like a telephone number, but like a kidney stone, this too shall pass. And it will be just as fucking painful until it does.
Leftist Lexicon Word of the Week
As a recovering Leftist, I have an insight on how the Left thinks (which is usually not at all). Even then, there are times when I shake my head in “what the absolute fuck are you thinking” mode.
This is one of those times.
I present to you a new Leftist group called Unpull the Trigger out of Portland, Oregon. Although they haven’t reached the sheer dumbfuckery of Everytown for Gun Safety or, well, being Hunter Biden, they are quickly rising up the charts with a bullet, or more accurately, with an AR-15. See, Unpull the Trigger has the brilliant idea of buying every black man an AR-15 as a means to make Republicans back gun control.
And it was at this point my head started shaking like a Jello mold on the San Andreas Fault during an 8.9 on the Richter Scale.
Unpull the Trigger
What the Left thinks it means – a Progressive group trying to get Republicans to finally get on board with sensible gun control
What it really means – another idiotic Leftist group based on an erroneous assumption about the Right
So far, not much is known about Unpull the Trigger, mainly because people are too busy laughing at them to do any actual digging. But, from what I’ve been able to find, they are a non-profit anti-gun grift…I mean group, and run by fucking idiots. Their big-brained idea I referenced above is called, and I swear I’m not making this up, “Scare the Racists Straight.”
See what I mean by “what the absolute fuck are you thinking”?
As you might expect, all Leftist anti-gun groups lack one essential piece of information: knowing any actual gun owners who aren’t one of them. Oh, sure, you’ll find a Leftist gun owner who thinks there needs to be stricter laws on the books because fee-fees, but that’s not the same thing as Bubba McMAGAHat, who is a proud gun owner and wouldn’t be caught dead voting for anyone to the left of Pat Buchanan.
Okay, bad example. Let’s go with Ronald Reagan.
This lack of actual knowledge leads to blind spots that lead to dumb decisions like assuming Republicans would be against arming blacks or naming an organization Unpull the Trigger. Once you start digging a bit, the blind spots become so obvious Stevie Wonder can see them.
Although whites make up a significant percentage of gun owners in America, there are still a number of blacks who are according to the Pew Research Center. I’m sure the NRA would appreciate the expected increased membership, but it doesn’t work if your goal is to prevent people from having guns in the first place. But only a complete dipshit would want…oh, the President of Unpull the Trigger wants that.
I have to give them credit, though, for thinking outside the box. Of course, their initiative will wind up the same way the other gun control efforts have: failing worse than Michael Bay doing a “Heidi” remake.
But here’s where shit gets really weird. If we look at the stats (and I do because my social life makes Boo Radley look like a TikTok “star”), there is a significant number of young black men who are in gangs, with a majority of them being over 18. Granted, these numbers are over a decade old, so the percentages may be different, but it’s immaterial to the larger point I’m going to make here. Unpull the Trigger wants to give these gang members AR-15s, which will undoubtedly change the dynamic of gang culture, i.e. allowing people with zero problems offing another person to have access to a weapon Leftists say are only made for killing people.
But not every black man belongs to a gang, so we can’t use that broad brush. However, we can look at how giving every black man a gun might affect Leftist groups like…oh, I don’t know…Black Lives Matter. Surely an organization that wants to defund the police wouldn’t use guns in a violent matter, right?
David Dorn could not be reached for comment.
What about ANTIFA? Although primarily dominated by whites, there are blacks who are either members or sympathetic to the cause. And ANTIFA isn’t above violent methods to achieve their goals or to make a statement.
And Unpull the Trigger wants to arm these assholes.
Oh, but it gets better! Notice Unpull the Trigger wants to arm black men…but not black women. Isn’t that sexist? Are these Leftists assuming black women a) don’t want to be armed, or b) are incapable of using a gun properly? And what about black trans people (as opposed to Shawn King and Rachel Dolezal, who claim to be trans-black)? If gender is a spectrum or a social construct, why are black men the only ones who get the guns? That’s patriarchy, motherfuckers! Not to mention, it’s trans erasure! And, I’m sorry kids, but that means Unpull the Trigger has to be shamed and run out of the public square.
Hey, I didn’t write the rules, but I can’t abide by your obvious hatred, so off you go!
Now, remember when I said earlier this whole concept was based on an erroneous assumption about the Right? Well, hold onto your hats because we’re finally getting to the good part.
The Left assumes the Right is full of racist bigots because the Right tends to oppose Leftist measures to “fight” racism and bigotry. And by extension, Leftists believe gun owners are racists. So, Unpull the Trigger wants to make more black men gun owners and, thus…make them racists?
Remember, kids, I am a trained professional. Do not try to make sense of Leftist logic at home.
And this is where the Leftist blind spot kicks them in the dick. There are racists who are gun owners if only due to the law of averages, but the Venn Diagram of racists and gun owners really doesn’t have a lot of overlap because gun owners care more about their guns than they do about the color of who owns them. I’ve been to a couple of gun shows and have known many gun owners in my 53 years of life. I even have had a gun owner or two in my family. You know what I found in interacting with actual gun owners?
They’re regular people. Well-armed people, I grant you, but regular people. Sure, they have differences as people often do, but when it comes to gun ownership, the only colors that matter to them are those of the guns themselves. Granted, this is anecdotal evidence, but it’s a damn sight better than the pulling ideas out of their asses that Unpull the Trigger is using.
Ultimately, Unpull the Trigger will become a laughingstock like David Hogg, and much for the same reason: they know jack shit about guns and gun owners. Assuming anyone on the Right would freak out about blacks getting AR-15s is not the sign of an intellectual giant, no matter how much the press writes glowing puff pieces about them. At some point, they will fade into the background like all the other gun control groups and struggle to remain relevant.
The only hope for their salvation would be if it came out they were trolling the Left just to see how much support they would get from them. If not, I have a much better solution for Unpull the Trigger. If you really want to stop gun violence, don’t ban guns; ban Leftists from having guns.
Leftist Lexicon Word of the Week
I would never want to be a White House Press Secretary under any circumstances. First, you have to communicate with members of the press, which is like going to Chuck E Cheese during a big toddler birthday party on a good day (and working that same birthday on a bad day). Second, you might have to address a scandal that involves the President and his/her family.
And then, there’s the third reason: I’d have the same title as the current Press Secretary, Karine Jean-Pierre, who makes Jen Psaki look good by comparison. Recently, Jean-Pierre responded to a question about the ongoing legal troubles of Hunter Biden, who I’m lead to believe is related in some way to President Puddin’ Head Joe but I’m waiting until the mainstream media confirms because I’m thorough like that. Apparently, I’m still having to wait since Karine Jean-Pierre referred to Hunter Biden as a “private citizen” and the press hasn’t asked a follow-up question about it.
While we wait on reporters to, you know, do their fucking jobs, let’s talk about private citizens for a bit. Maybe by the time this piece is done, we will be able to confirm the First Crackhead is related to Puddin’ Head Joe.
private citizen
What the Left thinks it means – people who should be kept out of the public spotlight to avoid unnecessary attention
What it really means – how Leftists describe one of their own when he/she/it royally fucks up
The concept of what constitutes a private citizen has been the subject of a lot of good natured debate within First Amendment scholarly circles. And, as is the case with such scholarly debates, nothing’s really come of it except more debate. Fortunately, the law gives us a bit more clarity:
The term “private person” means— (A) any individual who is a citizen or national of the United States; and (B) any corporation, partnership, association, or other legal entity organized or existing under the law of any State, whether for profit or not for profit.
And by “a bit” I mean none at all.
Generally, the rule of thumb is a person who is not well-known would be a private citizen. In short, anybody who still uses Mastodon as a Twitter alternative. Once that person gets a bit of fame or infamy, the protections afforded a private citizen get worn away. Still, even someone well-known in Monkey’s Ass, Wyoming, would not be as well-known in New York City, so venue matters.
Or it used to. Thanks 24/7 news and social media.
Then, there are celebrities. In exchange for fame, fortune, and the occasional appearance on talk shows, they give up expectations of privacy for as long as they’re in the public consciousness. Some, like Dustin “Screech” Diamond, never quite escape. Others, like Dustin “Screech” Diamond’s stunt double, reclaim their privacy by giving up their celebrity.
The thing about celebrity, though, is it can be extended to members of their families. The children of politicians fall into this category, especially if they fuck up in such a way it makes the news. Ask the Bush Twins about that after their underage drinking fiasco. That means, Hunter Biden, if he truly is the offspring of Puddin’ Head Joe, would not qualify as a private citizen.
Wait…nope. Still no mainstream media confirmation of that yet. But hope springs eternal.
So, why would Karine Jean-Pierre lie to us about Hunter Biden being a private citizen? I mean, aside from it’s her job to unconvincingly lie to the White House Press Lapdogs…I mean Corps. The short answer is because she can get away with it. The politically obvious reasons are, well, Hunter Biden is a crackhead embarrassment that makes his dad look even worse than he already does, thus handing Republicans an easier win than any woman against a Leftist man in an arm wrestling contest. The more people connect Hunter to Joe, the harder it is for Hunter to be considered a private citizen.
At its face, the idea is absurd. But these are Leftists we’re dealing with here, so it’s not surprising. The Left wants you to believe Hunter Biden, who has a well-documented history of being a shitty person, somehow isn’t famous enough to be covered as a news story, hence he’s a private citizen. Yet, his art that sells for $500,000 a flop…I mean pop gets people all over the world to buy it, so he logically can’t be a private citizen because he’s known worldwide.
This is why I don’t recommend trying to make sense of Leftist logic without hard liquor.
Now, it’s nice to know Leftists care about protecting private citizens from undue attention. If only they weren’t fucking hypocrites on the subject when it suits their needs. If you’re a Colorado baker who happens to be Christian and refused to bend over (figuratively and literally) to a same-sex couple, you get put on blast so everyone knows how much of an evil no-good right wing homophobe bigot Hitler wannabe you are. If you’re a member of ANTIFA who gets caught on video attacking someone with a bike chain, the Left will go out of their way to hide that information.
Hmmm…if only there were indicators of when the Left will flip-flop on what constitutes a private citizen…oh, wait, there is! They always flip-flop like John Kerry cooking at a beachfront IHOP working straight commission.
As unsurprising as the Left’s duplicity regarding private citizens is, the scary thing is it may be too late to protect private citizens, actual and hypothetical, due to the advent of social media. Any dick with a cell phone can film you doing something horrible (or at least make it look like you did something horrible), post it online, and make you famous before you can say “YouTube Shorts.” Then, you are known as Fat Guy Yells At Burger King Employee While His Shorts Fall Down forever and you have to delete your online presence and start blogging under the name of Thomas…
I’ve said too much.
Anyway, with privacy going the way of anyone not fawning over the Barbie movie, we need to get on the stick to address how this impacts private citizens. Unfortunately, we’re lightyears behind and no one else is thinking about this issue because there’s a Barbie movie, you guys! That, and the fact more people want to be seen on social media like TikTok, so they’re willing to trade their status as private citizens for fame, no matter how temporary it is.
Yep. We’re fucked.
Until such time as society decides to give up on being famous, it’s up to us to keep the idea of a private citizen alive. That means keeping your head down, being aware of your surroundings and the people in it, and not drawing attention to yourselves. Live your life as much off the grid as possible, or if that’s not possible, be smart with what you share. Yes, this will make you massively unhip to the rest of the world, but when you consider what is considered cool these days, it’s no big loss.
On a larger scale, we have to recognize what a private citizen is and why Hunter Biden isn’t one. No matter how the Left tries to spin it, this situation is like a Lindsey Lohan drug story, only with shittier art. And considering Lohan’s acting career, that’s saying a lot!
This just in! Still no mainstream media confirmation Hunter and Puddin’ Head Joe are related. Like the number of licks it takes to get to the Tootsie Roll center of a Tootsie Pop, the world may never know.
Leftist Lexicon Word of the Week
As a semi-kinda-sorta-famous blogger, people come up to me all the time and ask my opinions of the issues of the day. Most of the time, the questions are “Where are your pants, sir?” but lately another question has crept in there: What is your opinion of the Writers Guild of America and Screen Actors Guild – American Federation of Television and Radio Artists strike going on right now?
I’m glad you asked, mainly because there are only so many times you can talk about trans issues, climate change, gun control, and other common Leftist squawking points before you get burnt out. This topic has some political elements to it, so we’re not completely out of my wheelhouse here.
So, by popular demand (and by “popular” I mean because 3 people asked me), here’s the hottest take I can give on the subject.
the WGA/SAG-AFTRA strike
What the Left thinks it means – writers and actors banding together to ensure writers get fair compensation for their work
What it really means – the result of a fucked up system that makes the powerless knuckle under to the powerful
Off the top, I have to say my opinion differs from most of my conservative compatriots, but I have reasons instead of disdain for the actors driving my opinion. But don’t worry, kids. I will show my disdain for the actors later!
I feel sympathy for the striking writers for the most part. As a writer myself, I understand the time and dedication it takes to produce even a remotely good story. Hell, anybody can churn out another Madea movie. Oh, and while we’re here…Tyler Perry, I’m thinking the only reasons you continue to put out the Madea movies is so you can dress in drag. It’s okay, buddy! Dressing in drag is some of the least creepy shit coming out of Hollywood these days!
Bob Iger aside, the writers’ enemies aren’t the studios themselves, but the Hollywood system itself. I’ve seen slasher movies less cutthroat than Hollywood, which is ironic on levels I can’t even begin to comprehend fully. Everybody involved in the entertainment industry there is competing for a spot in the big time, and that leads to a lot of backstabbing, undercutting, and fucking over. The big brains behind the big box office movies aren’t the directors, actors, producers, or even the studios.
It’s the writers. They’re the people with the ideas (albeit bad ideas sometimes), and they’re the ones who try to make sense of a story. And if you’re not high profile enough to print money for shit content, you’re not likely to see your project go from writer’s room to screen without a lot of interference from the Hollywood system. And the movers and shakers of the system know that, so they treat writers like most people treat used chewing gum.
And even if you get your vision on the screen, if it doesn’t make money or garner attention that can be translated into money, you’re not ever going to move up the food chain. You are stuck writing scripts for movies and TV shows that would get cancelled before the opening credits start. Meanwhile, those writers who find themselves within the Hollywood system are making bank for coming up with yet another “Scary Movie” sequel.
That’s where the Writers Guild of America comes in. Or, rather, should.
The WGA is a labor union with presence on both coasts who are supposed to represent the writers. And they do, but they’ve done a shitty job keeping up with the times when it comes to payment for new media. If you look at the Wikipedia link I provided (which, I grant you, is like trusting Hunter Biden to keep an eye on your cocaine while you go to the bathroom), you’ll noticed six strikes since 1960, and all six have dealt with residuals, i.e. getting paid for your work.
Maybe it’s me, but I would think a labor union that represents media writers would be able to, you know, keep up with the changing landscape of media and adjust accordingly.
Just because I’m a curious individual, I dug a bit deeper into who is running WGA West, the union that covers Hollywood. Guess what? The top three officers are part of the Hollywood machine. And if you look at the Board of Directors…same fucking thing! No wonder the rank and file of the WGA have to keep fighting and striking for their money in perpetuity; their union is helping the “enemy.”
This is where I have to part company with the writers out there. Yes, Hollywood is beholden to the labor union system because of their Leftist nature, but they aren’t the only game in Tinsel Town, just the easiest. And when you settle for easy, you don’t control the vertical nor the horizontal. You will get what the system will allow you.
Going off on your own is going to be tougher, but it can be done while retaining your artistic freedom. That’s why I respect people like Tommy Wiseau, Lloyd Kaufman, and Roger Corman. Sure, their work doesn’t match up to a big Hollywood production…with the exception of the “Transformers”… or later “The Fast and the Furious” movies…or recent Marvel movie and TV projects…or the bulk of the Disney “Star Wars” projects…
I take that back. Wiseau, Kaufman, and Corman are much better.
Anyway, the reason I respect these and other independent filmmakers as much as I can is because they prove it can be done outside of the Hollywood system. You might not get more than a credit at the end of the movie and maybe a hot dog out of the deal, but you’re still free of the system that makes it impossible for you to afford a hot dog in Hollyweird.
That brings us to the SAG-AFTRA members marching with the WGA. They’re doing their best to show their solidarity with the writers, as evidenced by their Twitter and Intagram posts. But, the operative word in that previous sentence is “show.” These people get paid to pretend, and right now they’re pretending to be strikers. They don’t go back to a one-room apartment so cramped the cockroaches have hunchbacks. They go back to the homes they purchased with money earned off the word processors of the writers. How many of them are opening their homes to writers? None that I’ve heard so far. Are any of them using their clout to force the machine pay writers better? Of course not! That would make them pariahs in the industry, and they need to keep up their lifestyles, so they’re ultimately on Team Machine.
Sucks to be a struggling WGA member, doesn’t it?
But, I have come with a solution, one I call the Sinatra Solution. Back in the 1950s, Las Vegas was segregated by race, including the talent. After Sammy Davis Jr. was denied a room at the Sands, the Chairman refused to perform there until Davis got a room. It was a huge risk at the time, considering how vital Frank Sinatra was to the elevation of the Las Vegas nightlife and image. But, it paid off because Sinatra was so vital to Las Vegas. He used the leverage he had to make things better for everyone.
If enough actors, producers, big-name writers, or studio heads had the balls to do it, they wouldn’t march on the picket lines and take selfies; they would pull a Sinatra and refuse to work until the writers got paid better. Hollywood would grind to a halt if the Avengers (the actors in the movie series, not the comic book characters) collectively told Disney to fuck themselves until every writer got paid well for their work.
And don’t think it would stop there. Hollywood right now is a house of cards (a house of playing cards, not the TV show of the same name), and one gust of wind from enough powerful people slamming the doors on the corrupt system would cause it to all fall down around them. And as long as the WGA/SAG-AFTRA folks are part of that system, they will be left to pick up what’s left.
Aside from the Sinatra Solution, let me also posit the idea that the WGA should be phased out in favor of a group that doesn’t suck Hollywood’s dick while pretending to be working for the writers. All it takes is enough people to tell the WGA to shove their efforts up their collective asses and there’s a chance they would get the hint.
You know, in a few years after it happened.