twitter – Something About Everything

Leftist Lexicon Word of the Week

This week, we delve into the world of comedy, for which some readers are saying “Finally!” Fortunately for you, it’s not my jokes this time.

Instead, we can look to Twitter and Leftists for the humor. Seems our favorite Socialist Socialite got her collectivist panties in a wad over a Twitter account parodying her. And as one might expect of someone dumber than a bag of hammers, the Socialist Socialite tweeted out a warning advising fans of the account. Because as we all know the best way to make a problem go away is to draw as much attention to it as humanly possible.

Needless to say, this didn’t work well. Which prompted fans of the Socialist Socialite to call for Twitter to ban the parody account, AOCpress. This gives us the perfect opening to discuss the wonders of parody.

parody

What the Left thinks it means – a potentially dangerous threat to valid communication between politicians and their constituents

What it really means – a way to mock the Left protected by the First Amendment

Our good friends at Dictionary.com provide a great definition of “parody” that will serve us nicely:

1. a humorous or satirical imitation of a serious piece of literature or writing: his hilarious parody of Hamlet’s soliloquy.

2. the genre of literary composition represented by such imitations.

3. a burlesque imitation of a musical composition.

4. any humorous, satirical, or burlesque imitation, as of a person, event, etc.

If you’re an observant reader, and I know you are, you’ll notice a pattern. If you’re not or a Leftist (which means you’re not observant by definition), the pattern is humor. Leftists love to tell us they’re funnier than conservatives, but yet they’re redefining humor to take the funny out of comedy and turn it into more of a monologue where the pseudo-comedian throws out Leftist talking points in lieu of jokes. But don’t worry. There are plenty of set-ups, chief of which being the audience being set up that they’ll be entertained, but there are a decided lack of straight men. Or women.

And as a side note, Dave Chappelle was right about Hannah Gadsby.

Anyway, the Left doesn’t have a mirth monopoly by any stretch. Granted, much of the humor they provide is unintentional (i.e. Puddin’ Head Joe and Kamala Harris going off script), but it’s humor nonetheless. Where the Right has the edge in humor is online, especially in the area of satire. With The Onion being as funny as its namesake these days, sites like The Babylon Bee and any number of Twitter handles have picked up the slack by…actually being funny. What a concept!

And a good amount of the time, it’s the Left getting skewered with the Right’s humor. Guess how that goes over with the Left.

As with other things that bug them and that they can’t control, Leftists moan more than a porn actress being paid by the orgasm. And where do they moan the most? On Twitter! After all, if you complain on Twitter about something and tag Elon Musk it actually does something important!

Guess how that turned out. And I’m guessing you’re seeing a pattern here.

See, Leftists hate being mocked, especially when it’s in the form of parody because it’s not just mocking them, but it’s mocking them directly.

Remember the young girl who did a parody of the Socialist Socialite? Well, she got death threats from Leftists. You know, the tolerate, loving, and totes free speech defending Left? (Yeah, I laughed hard when I typed that, too.)

That should tell you two things. First, Leftists take themselves way too seriously. And second, the jokes about their lack of a sense of humor are based in fact. Oh, and Leftists are shitty people when they get butthurt at being the butt of jokes. (See what I did there?)

But here’s the thing. Parody is protected under the First Amendment as free speech. And what’s even more delicious? It’s because of Larry Flynt, a loud and proud Leftist. (On a side note, how do Leftist feminists reconcile Flynt’s treatment and attitudes towards women with feminist ideology? Oh, right, they fucking ignore it.)

Of course, that doesn’t stop Leftists from making the case the AOCpress account should be removed because they claim it’s imitating the Socialist Socialist. Hoo boy. So much to unpack here, but let’s start with the easy one.

Twitter rules are quite clear on parody accounts being allowed so long as they clearly proclaim they are parody accounts. And Leftists should remember this, especially after many of them did Elon Musk parodies on their Twitter accounts.
In other words, it’s perfectly fine when they do it, but no one else can do it, especially to them.

Now, there’s the whole imitation angle. What AOCpress posts may look and sound like what the Socialist Socialite says, but at no time does the account owner say he/she is AOC. Just because it’s indistinguishable from what the Socialist Socialite really says doesn’t mean it’s someone trying to impersonate her. Although, it might be evidence the Twitter account wants to date her…

Now, for the best part of all of this. There are people getting fooled by the AOCpress account, even with the parody tag on it. How fucking stupid do you have to be to get fooled by a parody account that labels itself as parody? I know social media is a “Tweet first, ask questions later” environment, but fuck! You have to be a special kind of window licker to get fooled.

Which says a lot about the people who stan for the Socialist Socialist, doesn’t it?

The proper response to parody isn’t to try to get it removed from the marketplace of ideas, but rather to take it for what it is: an attempt at humor. You don’t have to get it for it to be a joke, and you don’t have to laugh for it to be protected. That’s why Dane Cook has never been arrested for doing his stand-up (although an argument could be made for him being arrested for impersonating a stand-up comedian, but that’s a blog post for another time). That means Leftists are going to have to put up with a lot more mocking from people, myself included.

And that’s going to piss off Leftists.

The AOCpress account exposes how thin-skinned Leftists can be, while at the same time showing how gullible and stupid they can be when they put their minds to it. Like it or not, though, parody is as valid a Socialist Socialite speech, only parody is intentionally funny.

Leftist Lexicon Word of the Week

Leftists tend to freak out about things they don’t like because, well, they’re Leftists. This week’s freakout is courtesy of their favorites and ours, former President Donald Trump. See, Trump is running for President in 2024 and CNN…gave him airtime for a town hall meeting.

I know! I was shocked that a cable news network would spend time talking to a famous political figure in an attempt to get ratings!

Although Leftist freakouts are as common as bad pop music songs right now, Leftists are just as predictable with their responses: hashtag activism. For a short time, Leftists on Twitter got #BoycottCNN trending which is…something, I guess? What is a bit more certain is I’m going to mock the hell out of it!

#BoycottCNN

What the Left thinks it means – a response to CNN allowing Donald Trump airtime to spread his hateful message

What it really means – a lame response to CNN allowing Donald Trump airtime to promote his Presidential campaign

First, a bit of background. A long time ago, CNN was the place to go on cable to get news, mainly because it was the only place to go on cable to get news. For the most part, they played it straight down the line, but over time CNN became the source for many a Leftist squawking point, thanks to the Commander in Briefs, Bill Clinton. Seems more than a few of the staff were more in the tank for him than Michael Dukakis. (And if you got that reference, I’m eternally grateful.)

From there, CNN’s descent into Leftist madness (but I repeat myself) got more pronounced. And once other cable news networks like Fox News and MSNBC got involved, it was only a matter of time before the only name in the cable news game became an afterthought, as the ratings showed. It got so bad at one point that reruns of Yogi Bear beat CNN in the ratings.

A change was needed, so CNN tried to go hard against Trump in an attempt to suck off some of MSNBC’s viewership. One tiny problem: Leftists really don’t like CNN because they’re not Leftist enough. After all, they…allowed conservatives an opportunity to speak! Oh, the horror! And with MSNBC being batshit crazy enough for Leftists, CNN didn’t stand a chance.

Enter Chris Licht, who became the new boss at CNN in 2022. He decided to take a different approach, one that was unheard of a few years prior: reporting actual news. This got him branded as someone who wanted to make CNN more centrist (i.e. to the right of Stalin), which Leftists simply can’t abide because…reasons! Leftists even went so far as to call CNN “Fox News Lite” because of the move.

Let’s just say the ratings haven’t been going in the right direction yet. The reason is simple: CNN pissed off too many people. The Right won’t tune in because of the decades of carrying water for the Left, and the Left won’t tune in because they have MSNBC to parrot their squawking points without even the slightest deviation. No matter what Licht does, it’s never going to be enough.

But that’s not the issue at hand.

The Leftist response to CNN doing what it’s done for other Presidential candidates (albeit with less than stellar results) is par for the course at worst. But the Twitter temper tantrum behind #BoycottCNN is a new level of Leftist impotence and idiocy. First off, didn’t Leftists on social media try to #BoycottTwitter? Yes, yes, they did. And it worked as well as you might expect: not at all. So, they go on Twitter to pass around the hashtag!

That’s what the kids like to call a self own.

Then, there’s the “me too” aspect of this hashtag. (Not to be confused with #MeToo, which is a completely different Leftist shitshow.) As many Twitter Leftists were so quick to point out, they were already boycotting CNN, as though it were a badge of honor. At this point, boycotting CNN is like boycotting “The Golden Girls” (although I am still involved in a letter-writing campaign about Estelle Getty): it’s pretty much a moot point. They’re already swirling the drain, so losing tens of tens of viewers isn’t going to change that. Piling on, even virtually, is pointless.

But then again, pointless actions are what the Left specialize in. See also: #MeToo.

The part that really tickles me is how the Left reacted to the shift in CNN’s approach to news. When you really think about it (and I do because I need something to do while I browse Twitter), the Left is upset a news organization is moving away from propaganda and more towards actual reporting of facts…but the Left says their favorite cable news shows are already doing actual reporting…so…

Yeah. I got nothing.

I take that back. I actually got something here, and it’s all about controlling the narrative. The Left cannot abide not being in control of the flow of information, and with both Twitter and CNN moving more towards the right as a means to even the playing field, the Left fear they’re losing control of the ability to shape what people think. Which they are, mainly because they don’t understand people in general. And business. And success. And long term thinking. And…well, you get the idea.

But as with so many hashtags, the #BoycottCNN shelf-life will be thankfully short, and the damage will be minimal. Yet, the Left overplayed its hand with the boycott because it gives us an insight into how the operate and why they reacted the way they did. That gives us ammunition to use in the future while also putting their objections into context.

In the end, though, CNN is going to become a casualty in the cable news wars by its own hand. They believed in their own invincibility and didn’t plan for a future where a test pattern could draw better numbers than their prime time shows. CNN burned up a lot of its early credibility worse than Mrs. O’Leary’s cow, but if they’re truly serious about getting back to hard news without as much spin, I wish them all the best. It’s the harder and longer road, but it will bring the best outcome possible.

Plus, it’ll piss off Leftists, which is always entertaining.

Leftist Lexicon Word of the Week

For all the shit I give Twitter on here, I do have to admit it does have some good points. Like, the fact the level of entertainment I get laughing at the sheer batshittery without having to pay a dime for it. But it’s also good for seeing the lifespan of Leftist outrage over a relatively minor thing.

Like a blue checkmark.

Since Elon Musk took over Twitter, he’s pissed off Leftists by…treating people equally. And the Left just can’t handle that because prior to Musk, Twitter was their playground. So, instead of adopting to the new environment, they went to Twitter to bitch about it. And now, they’re taking additional steps: they’re blocking anyone with a blue checkmark, a Twitter hashtag called #blocktheblue.

And, yes, it’s just as dumb as you thing.

#blocktheblue

What the Left thinks it means – a way to separate the paid Twitter shills from the real users

What it means – an insight into Leftist self-importance and hypocrisy

One aspect of Leftist identity is the belief they are the elite, the creme de la creme of society. As a result, they do everything they can to hobnob with other Leftists (except for anyone who isn’t white, rich, and unapologetically narcissistic because you just can’t let everyone into these circles). This included Twitter.

That’s where the blue checkmarks come into play. In the pre-Musk Twitter days, a blue checkmark became a symbol of superiority, mainly because of Leftists making it one. Of course, Twitter denied this colorful combination of pixels meant anything of the sort (because they were in on it the whole time), but just seeing what the internal drones were doing (thanks #TwitterFiles), we know it was bullshit.

Then, some high-profile Twitter users (think valedictorian of clown college) decided to push back against Musk by pushing followers to block anybody with a Twitter Blue account. This movement kicked into high gear recently after Musk removed legacy blue checkmarks to those who didn’t pay the oppressive $8 to get a blue checkmark.

It’s at this point I should point out you don’t need to pay $8 to use Twitter, just to get the verified blue checkmark.

See? I told you it was as stupid as you think. But wait, it gets better!

Since anyone can pay $8 for a verified blue checkmark, Leftists are doing the completely rational thing and assuming everyone with a blue checkmark is a bot or a fraud of some sort. And, as we know, Leftists hate competition. It got to the point people with blue checkmarks felt the need to tell their fans that they didn’t pay $8 for the checkmark, as though they would get kicked out of Leftist social circles if they didn’t.

Now, I’m sure the Leftist elites who are bitching the loudest over this could afford the $8, so it’s not a monetary issue. And it’s not an integrity issue, either, because none of these assholes would know integrity if it came up with them with a name tag, introduced itself, kept referring to its name throughout the conversation, left them a business card, and called them once a week to catch up.

What it comes down to is a loss of exclusivity for Leftists. And they’re handling it badly, or in other words like they handle just about everything. Because they no longer feel special, they throw an online temper tantrum…on the platform they despise.

To any Leftists who are reading this and see themselves in my description, that’s called getting owned.

Sure, the Left has social media alternatives, but they’re not taking them because there’s a reason they’re alternatives: because Twitter is basically the lead dog. That creates the Kobayashi Maru of social media. Either they stay on Twitter where they can be visible and hypocritical, or they can go to another social media site where they are principled, but yelling into the void where only 3 people might engage if only to nod in partisan agreement.

Of course, Musk might just pay the $8 for some of these Leftists, like he did for Stephen King, just so they can enjoy Twitter Blue. Or to troll them as only he can. You know, whichever. Which will cause them to lose their collectivist minds and have to issue more and more apologies to their Leftist allies and explain they didn’t actually pay for Twitter Blue, which will make some of their allies doubt their Leftist bonafides and…well, let’s just say you can spend your $8 on a lot of popcorn because this cycle of dumbfuckery is perpetual. And entertaining!

Granted, this isn’t a major issues on the scale of the Russia/Ukraine War, the border issue, or why anyone decided to green-light a second season of “Velma,” but sometimes these seemingly insignificant issues give the clearest view of the Leftist mindset. And #BlocktheBlue is the kind of issue that puts the Left’s mindset on full blast.

Of course, the Left is overlooking the most obvious solution to the current environment they see on Twitter: log off. It’s fucking Twitter! You have a life away from social media, so go do something! It’s not like you’re being productive members of society by being melded to your phones posting hashtags standing up against racism, sexism, or the ism-of-the-day. Trust me, you’re not missing anything by not being on Twitter 25/8. And if your entire existence is tied to social media, it’s as vapid and empty as, well, most Twitter posts.

To paraphrase a famous saying from the 60s, log off, put down, and go out.

The Unimproved Twitter

Twitter. Even when the Left owned it, it was my favorite Social Media platform. I think because it wasn’t full of ads (originally), games, and other nonsense that is found is most other Social Media platforms.

Twitter was, and still is, a micro-blogging site. And I like blogs. They are plain and simple and good to use to express your views and opinions. You are reading one of my blogs right now.

Since Elon Musk has become the owner of Twitter. I’ve come back to it more. Only to find some rather annoying changes and a few pleasant surprises as well.

I wanted to add a Twitter feed to a website. The usual procedure is to create an app or possibly just give an app permission to access the specific Twitter feed. And the app I was using believed the same thing. This ended up being a terrible dark rabbit hole.

You needed to get a Dev account now just to create a simple Twitter bot to read a feed and post it to another website. And the approval isn’t automatic. Were in the past you could easily just be auto approved to create any bot on the platform. It was very frustrating to say the least.

And of course it turned out to not be necessary. A pleasant surprise after the fact and some digging around. The process is fairly simple now to have a Twitter feed post someplace else. But apparently no one has been informed of this change.

I do have multiple Twitter accounts. I think I may have one even for this blog. I liked using TweetDeck. Because I could see multiple accounts at once and post to all or any specific combination when making new posts to Twitter. But it’s been changed.

The old TweetDeck is now “classic” TweetDeck. And although it is currently accessible still. It may not stay that way. I just don’t like the new version of the application. It’s not very friendly. I’ve never understood why people like to fix things that aren’t broken.

The management and censorship of Twitter was broken. The platform itself was not. Leave it alone Elon and just fix what was broken.

Leftist Lexicon Word of the Week

Yes, it’s another post about Twitter. In my defense, though, the current Twitter drama is like being in the Mob or on Brokeback Mountain: every time I think I’m out, they pull me back in and then fuck me. Or something like that

The New York Times and other leftist media sources recently reported an increase in the number of hate speech incidents on Twitter since Elon Musk took over. Their source was a study conducted by several groups, including the Anti-Defamation League, academia, and the Center for Countering Digital Hate, all pointing to what they’re trying to push as an epidemic of hate. Their solution? Get another COVID booster.

Actually, the Left has a few different options on the table from having the government oversee Twitter to investigating Musk’s purchase to leaving the platform altogether to staying and fighting as Alyssa “I’m Definitely Not the Boss” Milano suggested. In other words, they don’t have a clear strategy, but they have a clear idea of what hate speech is.

And, as we’re about to see, they’re completely wrong. Again.

hate speech

What the Left thinks it means – hateful speech that is not protected by the First Amendment and should be illegal

What it really means – hateful speech that is protected by the First Amendment, but not necessarily by Twitter

I’m going to be honest with you at the start. Neither side has this issue completely right as it pertains to Twitter. As a private company, Twitter can set the rules as to what it allows on the platform, and the First Amendment need not apply. After all, the first five words of it are “Congress shall make no law” and last time I checked Twitter isn’t Congress. Although I’ve found an increasing number of twits on both…

At the core of the issue is how hate is defined. Since hate speech first came into the public lexicon, hate has evolved from racist, sexist, and generally unacceptable commentary to anything that hurts a Leftist’s fee-fees. Prior to Musk buying Twitter, the Left had a field day getting accounts nuked for Terms of Service violations more spurious than the credibility of Media Matters.

That’s because the Left has friends in high places, namely the moderation staff. When you get to define what constitutes hate speech, you can justify any moderation invoked under it. With the moderation staff at Twitter leaning so far left the only parts of their body that got sunburned were on the right, let’s just say they were fairly liberal with their definition, and definitely illiberal with their enforcement.

But, remember, it’s Elon Musk creating more hate speech on Twitter.

Actually, the hate speech has been there; it just hasn’t been called such. Like the “Summer of Love” in 2020, the Left crafted a tidy, yet wholly unbelievable narrative. And when confronted with the flood of conservative Twitter accounts going down, their response was the same: they shouldn’t have broken the rules Twitter, a private company, created.

All while telling a Colorado baker to bake the cake, I might add.

Fast forward to, oh, now. The Left no longer defends the private company because the rules are starting to apply to the people who used to be the ones who made up the rules as they went along. Although there are some inconsistencies with how the rules got applied, the fact the Left got a small taste of what conservatives endured for years isn’t entirely unwelcome, at least to me. Still, Musk should work on ensuring the rules are fair across the board, and that starts with the moderation team.

Meanwhile, back in the “hate speech is on the rise on Twitter” camp, they’ve run into a bit of a problem: the numbers don’t seem to match what is going on, or at the very least what the Left says is going on. But why let a little thing like reality get in the way of a good two minutes hate, right?

Which brings us back to what constitutes hate speech because, well…the people making the claims of a rise of hate speech on Twitter aren’t exactly forthcoming with their methodology. Although they cite the number of “slurs” being posted, they never provide context. Granted, there are few instances where calling someone a racial, sexual, or other type of slur would be fine, the fact there are some and the lack of transparency of the internal mechanics of the study being promoted as gospel should be enough to make even the most rabid Leftist pause.

Should be, but doesn’t apparently.

This is the time to push back against the Left’s narrative by asking hard questions. How is “hate speech” being defined? What was considered “slurs”? How were these slurs counted? Was context considered in the determination? Do we really need any more Tyler Perry movies?

Although these questions (especially that last one) will remain unanswered most likely, there is one thing that isn’t in dispute: the First Amendment protects hate speech. No matter how many Twitter Leftists repeat the idea it’s not, the US Supreme Court has already ruled it is. And before the Leftists decry this as a racist decision by a right-wing court, Justices Kennedy, Sotomayor, Kagan, and…the Notorious RBG concurred.

Oops.

Even if you disagree with the ruling, and with basic Constitutional principles for that matter, the concept of hate speech online and in general just doesn’t work without understanding intent. In most cases, it’s clear, but if you’re just looking for words and not context, there will be a lot of hits that should have been misses. Or Ms. if you’d prefer.

Without that added context, you’re more likely to find a cost-effective government agency than you are to find a consistent and logical conclusion. You might as well use a blindfold, a dartboard, and several adult beverages to confirm whether something is hate speech. In other words, a more sensible method than we’re using now.

What the Left fails to understand, either purposely or…oh, who are we kidding, is how to combat hate speech. What they want to do is remove it from the public square so no one can see or hear it. All that does is make it more attractive for those looking to push the envelope more than a postal employee working straight commission. It’s the forbidden aspect that makes it so attractive, as Tipper Gore and the Parents Music Resource Center found out way back in the 1980s. Nice to know Leftist still can’t learn from history, though.

The other and ultimately preferable way to fight hate speech is with…brace yourselves…more speech. By letting assholes spout off, they get their feelings off their chests and we can respond by not being assholes. That, and we can find out where the assholes are and know who not to send Christmas cards to, so…win-win! For the most part, I think Musk falls into this camp, which is a good thing for online speech all the way around.

Not that it will convince the Left to stop being hall monitors. Just look at how they treat each other on Mastodon! They need to feel they’re in control, which is why they’re trying to paint Twitter as a cesspool where only racists, sexists, homophobes, transphobes, and other shitty people congregate. That’s why they have to invent a scandal, especially considering their predictions about Twitter going the way of Kanye West’s future endeavors have yet to occur. (Amazing how the same folks who say the Earth is going to end in 10 years as they did in the 80s can’t get predictions right, isn’t it?)

So, I would take the studies showing an increase in hate speech on Twitter with a grain of salt…the size of Mount Everest.

Leftist Lexicon Word of the Week – Black Friday Edition!

To get us all in the holiday shopping move, I decided to whip up a special Lexicon edition! And, no, I don’t have the receipt, so you can’t return it.

With Elon Musk making massive changes at Twitter, Leftists have been of two minds: one, Twitter is dead, and two, there has to be an alternative to Twitter that will be better. Of course, this makes as much sense as a death ray invented for peaceful purposes, but this is the Left we’re dealing with here.

Well, the Left has been promoting Mastodon as just such an alternative. Now, if you’ve never heard of it, don’t be surprised. It’s only been around since 2016, but now Leftists are starting to get the ban hammer for shit they’ve been getting away with for years, they’re looking for any USB port in a storm. Will they find safe harbor there? Will it become as big or bigger than Twitter? Will the Detroit Lions ever win another Thanksgiving Day football game? We’ll find these answers and more!

Mastodon

What the Left thinks it means – a better version of Twitter, post-Musk

What it really means – social media for Leftists who prefer pre-Musk Twitter where they do whatever they want

Whenever there’s a new cultural phenomenon, Leftists tend to do one of two things: co-opt it so it can be turned into a propaganda arm, or try to copy what the Right is doing. As the Left has discovered, it’s easier to do the former than the latter because all the heavy lifting of actually producing something has already been done. All they have to do is show up and find their ways into key positions to drive the propaganda. This has been pretty successful, considering when they’ve tried to imitate the Right (i.e. Err…I mean Air America) they’ve managed to fuck it all up.

This is how the Left got to hold so much power at Twitter and other social media sites like Facebook and YouTube. With the combination of tech-savvy true believers and sympathetic (or just pathetic) corporate leadership, Leftist enjoyed free reign without fear of consequences. After all, as long as they were on the right side of issues (i.e. so far Left it makes Karl Marx look like Milton Friedman), they weren’t doing anything wrong.

I mean, aside from targeted harassment, doxxing people, death threats, and censoring of stories that broke the Leftist narrative, of course.

Once Musk started asking questions, Leftists started circling the wagons to deny what had been a given on both sides of the aisle, and it wasn’t even a secret it was going on. Don’t believe what has been documented numerous times! Believe the narrative (which has more holes in it than a Swiss cheese factory in the middle of gangland shootout)!

Yeah. I’m not even on Twitter and I know the official stance pre-Musk was bullshit. It’s not even a mystery why Leftists and their media pals (redundant, I know) started saying Twitter was turning into a cesspool after Musk took over. It even inspired the idea Twitter would be dead within a week, as predicted by a (now possibly former) employee.

Yeah, that didn’t happen.

So, what does any of this have to do with Mastodon? Aside from the Left’s snowflake (emphasis on flake) attitudes about having to share their sandbox with those icky right wingers, it shows they’re willing to try to ruin another social media platform so they don’t have to share. Just with Musk’s takeover of Twitter, Mastodon saw a boom in users, and judging from the positive press gushing over it, they were mostly Leftists.

Yet, with growing popularity comes increased scrutiny of the tech security and ideological varieties. I won’t go into the tech side of it because a) that’s more Chris’ wheelhouse, and b) I can’t say as I understand the ins and outs well enough to discuss it. From my interpretation of the articles I read, Mastodon’s security may be as effective as Kanye West’s advisor on Jewish affairs.

But on the ideological side? I am so there.

It seems the ban-hammer harpies that used to infest Twitter have already infested Mastodon. In the short time since Leftists fled there, there has been a Ban-A-Palooza against…Leftists! Yep! They’ve started eating their own over there, including noted Leftist Wil Wheaton, apparently for not being woke enough. The irony? Wil loved to block people on Twitter for saying “Shut up, Wesley” on his account. Now, Mastodon has literally shut him up.

Another user was allegedly banned from the site for, get this, being a capitalist. I would be hesitant to run with this story because I haven’t been able to verify it independently. I add it here as a possible example of just how far Mastodon has gone in just a short time.

In thinking about how the Mastodon influx has unfolded (mainly since I can’t watch my Baltimore Ravens on Sundays with any degree of certainty or without having to fork over my immortal soul), I came across an interesting hypothesis, and with everything I’ve found and relayed to you, I have a hard time ignoring it.

Mastodon is a long-term troll against the Left.

Granted, some of these ideas are out there like the Hubble, but let me lay out the case for you.

First, think about how you say the word “Mastodon.” Most people would pronounce the first “o” with an “a” sound, so “Mastadon” instead of “Mastodon.” Now, put a little vocal comma between the second syllable “sto” and the third syllable “don.” Put it all together and you have “Masta Don.” As in “Master Donald Trump.”

Holy Own Goal, Batman!

Then, there’s the bans I mentioned earlier. Not only are they on-brand for Leftists, but they are so on-brand as to throw up red flags that it might be a long game for someone who wants to fuck with the Left, a la Titania McGrath. I’ve always felt one of the best ways to mock Leftists is to hold a mirror up to how they act and crank up the absurdity to 11 (because it’s one higher). If I’m right about Mastodon, they have mastered this so sublimely as to be virtually indistinguishable from the authentic Leftist.

However, I could be wrong and Mastodon is really trying to be a successful competitor to Twitter. If so, I have no qualms about it. Competition tends to make a product or service better, so even if Mastodon is as competitive with Twitter as the Detroit Lions is to, well, just about any other NFL team, there might be enough incentive for Elon Musk to make changes to improve the overall quality of the app. Then again, the Leftist exodus from Twitter has already done that, so well done, sir!

If Mastodon wants to be around longer than a TikTok video, I have a suggestion. Start up other social media alternatives and name them after other prehistoric animals. You know, like…oh, let me spitball here, Pterodactyl, Triceratops, Saber Tooth Tiger, and Tyrannosaurus. Then, merge them all into a single company called Megazord Inc. Maybe include room for a Dragonzord in there, too.

You’re welcome.

Leftist Lexicon Word of the Week

Now that the midterm elections are over…mostly, we can now turn our attentions back to one of the most important issues of the modern world.

Blue checkmarks on Twitter.

Since Elon Musk took over Twitter, Leftists have been losing their hivemind adjusting to the new boss not being the same as the old boss. From wanting to layoff 75% of the workforce (a good start) to suspending Kathy Griffin’s account for impersonating Musk in spite of requests to not do it (an excellent middle), the straw that broke the camel’s back was Musk introducing a fee to get a blue checkmark. The original suggested price for this was $20, but after interacting with horror author and general fuckwit Stephen King, Musk dropped it down to $8.

You would have thought you voted for Donald Trump the way the Left reacted. Even our favorite Congresscritter the Socialist Socialite got involved, sending multiple tweets about issues ranging from technical issues she blamed on Musk (that were later proven to be user error) to Twitter no longer being a good platform to talk to actual journalists and politicians to the irony of having to pay $8 for free speech (which is not only not ironic, but also not accurate).

All of this over a stupid blue checkmark.

But, as you might expect, there’s a lot more under the surface driving the Left’s outrage.

Twitter blue checkmark

What the Left thinks it means – a vital tool to combating impersonation and ensuring people know they’re getting information directly from the source

What it really means – a status symbol that was abused by those wanting to control the flow of information and who was seen as credible

It’s said the road to Hell is paved with good intentions, and the same applies to the information superhighway. What Twitter attempted to do was to curtail the number of people impersonating famous people, which isn’t bad in and of itself. As with tools or Congresscritters (but I repeat myself), it’s all in how they’re used that determine the ultimate outcome.

In the case of the blue checkmark, the tool became used to separate the valued from the unwashed masses, the elite from the normies, and the credible from the Weekly World News-esque information brokers. Now, if the process to getting one was the same across the board, it wouldn’t be an issue. However, pre-Musk Twitter made it an issue. Although official Twitter guidelines state there are no minimum membership requirements, they have a number of requirements that have to be met to be considered for verification.

Such as being famous.

And people wonder why I think Twitter is the Hannah Gadsby of social media: painfully unfunny, yet mind-bogglingly popular with certain parts of the population.

Let’s call the pre-Musk blue checkmark what it was: a participation trophy for people whose actual accomplishments make me look like, well, Elon Musk. The fact it got handed out to users in a scattershot manner (with many Leftists getting the checkmark without fail) made it valuable, but only to those looking for clout. Try paying your mortgage with a blue checkmark sometime. I’m gonna go out on a limb and say it doesn’t end well unless you enjoy living in your car.

The best part about it? You could get your verification removed for any reasons without prior warning. And who got to decide that? Why, Twitter employees who lean so far Left they’re parallel to the ground. That’s how Leftists like Tara Dublin (aka the woman who flipped off a Trump supporter, called him names, and attempted to play the victim) has a verified account, but so many Right-leaning people or even neutral people have to jump through flaming hoops just to get denied.

By the way, I’m going to have to ask for hazard pay for looking at Dublin’s Twitter account. I think $10 will cover it because, well, ten bucks is ten bucks, eh.

Now that everybody with $8 can get verified, the Leftist elites aren’t so elite anymore, which pisses them off to no end. Before Musk got involved, they had free reign to do what they wanted without repercussions, even if their actions went against Twitter’s Terms of Service. But that’s what made Twitter the social media Love Canal that it was. Even a slight correction to remove the toxicity is enough for Leftists to lose their shit. Fortunately for them, there’s plenty more on the streets of San Francisco.

What is that saying Leftists always bring up these days? Something about equality feeling like oppression to a certain group…

Oh, well. I’m sure there’s no other current event where this is being proven in a way the Left didn’t expect.

Of course, the best part about this is Twitter sued Musk so his offer to buy Twitter would go through. And Leftists openly pushed for this to happen, citing legal precedent. To paraphrase a famous line from “Pawn Stars,” congratulations, Leftists. You just fucked yourselves sideways with a rototiller.

The reason for the current outrage goes beyond the Left losing a meaningless status. Instead, it goes straight to a loss of power and the potential for Big Tech comeuppance, which will further erode the Left’s power within the tech industry. If Musk is even remotely successful in turning Twitter around and being profitable doing it, there will be a seismic shift in how Big Tech does business. After all, you can’t base a successful business model around people not known for being gainfully employed. Just ask Air America…oh, wait…

The $8 for a blue checkmark stings in another way. Back in the day when conservatives would complain about Twitter unfairly applying the TOS, Leftists would respond with, “Twitter is a private company and can set whatever rules they want.” Which is true, but a piss-poor justification for one-sided enforcement of rules. Now, they’re not so keen on the idea Twitter can do what it wants because it’s a private company. Instead, they want to be special and hold it over everyone else’s head, but Musk isn’t having it.

Now that the salt’s been poured in the wound, would you like some tequila and a lime to go along with it?

I’ve never had a Twitter account (mainly because there are too many twits on it), and I still don’t intend to get one because I don’t see the need to get into a social media dick measuring contest with people I wouldn’t let in my house, let alone my Twitter space. But I have seen this very scenario play out before, so I know how it ends.

Back in the day, America Online was the hot spot for anybody who was anybody. And, yes, it had a problem with biased enforcement of the Terms of Service, mainly in favor of Leftists who could impersonate other chatters, swear, lie, post private information of others, and generally be assholes. Not only was I the victim of such Leftist asshattery, but for a time I was a member of the enforcement arm, monitoring a political chatroom for anyone who violated the rules. While I did my best to be fair (and judging from the number of times Leftists and Rightists complained about my performance, I think I was), others weren’t so honest.

Soon, AOL’s chatrooms, particularly the political ones, were nuclear wastelands without the charm. Instead of nipping the clear bias problems in the bud, the powers that be decided to let it slide. And it slid…right off the edge of a cliff. Now, AOL is regarded in the same way CompuServe was regarded back when AOL was popular. Is it because of the bias? Maybe, but it’s definitely more due to bad management of which biased TOS enforcement is a part.

Pre-Musk Twitter was going down the same road AOL did, right down to the impending irrelevancy. With other social media sites like TikTok and Instagram coming onto the scene, Twitter’s popularity among younger generations has been dropping like Kanye West’s corporate sponsors. Any businessman or woman worth his/her salt could see this and try to make changes as a means to preserve the platform.

And that meant ripping the bandage off the gaping chest wound and addressing the problems without considering Leftist fee-fees, or at least asking they pay fee-fees for their electronic superiority complex. And if they don’t…Twitter is still free to use, just like it is for everyone else who doesn’t feel the need to spend $8. It’s not the end of the world, free flow of information, free speech, access to journalists and celebrities, and everything the Left wants us to believe is coming due to the proposed changes to the Twitter blue checkmark program. Ultimately, it’s Leftists getting pissed off because their blue checkmark doesn’t make them special anymore. It just means they are dumb or egotistical enough to pay to get their Tweets about politics, news, and selfies noticed.

In short, they want to feel like celebrities without the body of work to support it. (Hey, it worked for Paris Hilton!)

I welcome the changes Elon Musk will be making to Twitter down the road, if only to see Leftists’ heads explode. And if the blue checkmark changes are any indication, smart investors will go in heavy on tarps, ponchos, and rubber boots very, very soon.

#pyhrricvictory

After a long, hard battle, Elon Musk has decided not to try to buy the online cesspool that is Twitter. In reaction, the Board of Directors (i.e. the Twits in Charge) are taking him to court to force him to buy Twitter. While this is being used as fuel for the anti-Musk forces to mock and criticize him, there’s a bit more to it than they care to admit.

Now, I’m no businessman, but if you have someone willing to purchase your company for a significant sum of money that would rival the GDP of some small countries, there should be a built-in incentive to make the process as painless as possible. But since we’re dealing with Twitter here, we’re not dealing with smart people making decisions.

First, they took the firm stand they would not sell Twitter to Musk because they disagreed with his vision and ideology. (In other words, they were afraid he would overturn the virtual apple cart and reverse the bans of certain users the Left hated.) Because of this stance, they threw up more roadblocks than a road crew working straight commission. One of those roadblocks was not providing accurate information to Musk, which ultimately lead to him pulling out of the deal.

Now, the Twits in Charge are taking Musk to court…where this potential breach of contract can be litigated, i.e. exposed, and make it easier for him to get out of the deal. Yes, the discovery process goes both ways, as Twitter will be able to ask for information that will help their case, but given how badly the Twits in Charge have fucked up the deal so far, I have no doubt their lawyers might be as incompetent as the Twits in Charge are. I mean, they work for Twitter, for fuck’s sake!

Then, there’s the potential financial fallout to consider. If the court rules in Musk’s favor, Twitter loses out on a shit-ton (or for our Canadian readers, a metric shit-ton) of money not just from Musk, but from others. The reputational risk alone would be enough to tank Twitter’s future earnings, and it’s not like the Leftists who dominate it are going to be able to pony up enough money to keep it afloat.

If Twitter wins, the risks can be spread out to both parties, but it will be much harder sledding for them. After all, would you like to try to explain why they had to force someone to buy your company? Talk about your bad temp jobs!

While the Twits in Charge try to figure out how to get out of their personal Kobayashi Maru, I would avoid investing in Twitter for the time being. The platform is more toxic than a Super Fund clean-up site (albeit a lot less expensive) and the business model doesn’t seem to be all that stable due to the Board of Directors’ lack of vision and inconsistent/irrational decision-making. However, I do have something you can invest in while watching this train wreck of a flaming dumpster fire.

Popcorn.

Leftist Lexicon Word of the Week

Have you ever known someone who is completely oblivious about a topic one week, but then gets super-attentive to it the next because it’s become a major controversy? Really, that’s Twitter in a nutshell.

Funny I should mention Twitter because this week’s Lexicon entry is related to the recent purchase of the aforementioned social media platform by one Elon Musk. I won’t go into the details because a) they’re not really important to the subject matter at hand, and b) I don’t want to relive the trauma of hearing that many Leftists screech at once.

Instead, we’re going to look into a portion of the takeover that isn’t getting that much attention, but it’s become a cause celebre for Leftists. I’m speaking of Section 230, the sexiest title involving technology ever devised. Believe me, I’m talking 50 Shades of Gray hot!

Okay, it’s not, but it’s still an important aspect of internet culture as a whole that has gotten a lot of attention without a lot of explanation. Grab a big cup of coffee, kids. This is going to be a toughie.

Section 230

What the Left thinks it means – an important regulation that needs to remain in force and enforceable to ensure the future of the Internet

What it really means – a mixed bag of ideas in an obsolete regulation

If you want a solid and balanced analysis of Section 230, I can’t recommend Ballotpedia’s overview enough. For solid and unbalanced analysis, read on!

The short version of what Section 230 does is it protects online services from being held accountable for what members of those services say while using them. It also gives these networks leeway as it pertains to what communication they will allow, even if the communication could be considered protected speech under the US Constitution. In the early days of the Internet, these protections were enough. Then again, back in those days getting a 28.8k modem connection while signing onto America On Line was reason enough to declare a national holiday.

On a side note, if anyone wants one of the free disks AOL gave out like samples at a drug pusher convention, let me know. I have 5 or 6 storage units full of ’em!

Meanwhile, back at the main point, Section 230 worked well enough at the time, but as technology advanced, regulation didn’t. I’m sure there’s a government agency somewhere resisting the trend to upgrade to Windows 95. Given what I’ve seen of the various “upgrades” that may not be a bad thing, but the point is expecting government bureaucracy to move swiftly to an issue is like expecting Joe Biden not to screw up foreign policy: it ain’t gonna happen!

One of the effects of the speed of quiet of regulations is it opens up opportunities to evolve without having to worry about someone telling you no. And online culture took that ball and ran with it. I’ve been online in one form or another since the early 90s and I can attest online culture has gotten very weird. And I’m not just talking about the porn! It’s a completely different world these days with people willingly or unwillingly putting their entire lives online with all the privacy concerns therein.

But the one thing Section 230 couldn’t have seen coming was the politicization of online content. Sure, you can still see pictures of kittens or the occasional funny meme, but outside of that is a nuclear wasteland that makes Chernobyl look like Salt Lake City. And when there’s ideological conflict, there are going to be people who will do whatever they can do to win the argument.

Including twisting the rules of the online road.

Twitter, among other social media platforms, has been accused of silencing conservative voices, and you’d have to be a Leftist not to see it. What started out as subtle biased enforcement of the rules to blatant “we write the rules and you can just fuck right off if you don’t like it” enfarcement. I mean, the Taliban had an active Twitter account as of last year, and their accounts promote violence and hatred. But, try to say men and women are different and you’ll get silenced, temporarily or permanently based solely on who is handling the Ban Hammer.

And therein lies one of my problems with Section 230 as it stands right now. When biases affect who gets to say what on a social media platform, it ceases to be anything but a political tool, which the Left sees no problem with as long as they’re the ones controlling the tool. The kicker here? This actually goes against the spirit and the letter of Section 230.

Funny. I think we’ve just found the first regulation on the books the Left doesn’t deify.

This fact inspired former President Donald Trump and his supporters to push to repeal Section 230 altogether. Given how social media platforms lean so far Left they are parallel to the ground, this seems to have merit. Now that Elon Musk has bought Twitter, through, the idea is gaining more steam on the Left, which doesn’t have merit given how they were in favor of reforming it all the way back in…let me check my notes…two weeks ago.

Obviously, this change of opinion is politically motivated because, duh, Leftists, but it reveals a fundamental lack of understanding, not just of Musk’s stated goals, but of Section 230 itself. Section 230 opens with a Congressional acknowledgement that the Internet is a place for political discourse and should be kept open to diverse points of view. Haphazardly applying terms of service depending on how a poster votes doesn’t accomplish that in the least. If anything, it makes discourse, political or otherwise, nearly impossible. Reversing that trend is what is best for everyone involved. Sure, you are going to have to deal with assholes who will take things too far, but I’d rather know where those assholes are so I can avoid them than to play a perverse game of Three Card Monte where the cards are a white supremacist, a BLM member, and a grandmother in Wyoming who just wants to post funny videos.

Where I deviate from the folks who want Section 230 to go the way of CNN+ is the protection of platforms from the things their users say. If some dumbfuck uses Twitter to call for the extermination of redheads, I don’t want to see Twitter called into court to answer for what the dumbfuck says. They should be busy applying the terms of service equally, not lawyering up every time a Twit posts an ignorant screed. Their business isn’t, nor should it ever be, to be the whipping boy for people looking to get a fast buck because their fee-fees got hurt.

Unfortunately, Elon Musk taking over Twitter won’t fix the fundamental problem with Section 230: the out-of-touch Congresscritters who still ask their staffers to find stamps for their emails. The fact no one in Washington has put forward serious efforts to update Section 230 and create better enforcement tells you just how little they care about the problems its current form poses. Now, if they tied it to pork spending back home, every Congresscritter would be fighting each other to get to a microphone and camera to let his or her opinions be heard.

Or, you know, use Twitter. Or have one of their staffers use it for them.

I’m not usually a fan of keeping regulations on the books, but Section 230 has a lot of good things going for it that would get wiped away if we did away with it completed. Beef up the enforcement a bit to keep social media outlets honest (or at least more honest than they are now), add some actual penalties for non-compliance, and have everything overseen by tech-savvy people who can put their politics aside, and we might just be able to make social media great again.

Then we can tackle the real problems in the world, like figuring out if Mark Zuckerberg is a real person or a wimpier T-1000.