When you really think about it (and I do because my social life makes the Amish look like Charlie Sheen), there are a lot of logistical pieces in motion with any deportation process. For one, where do we keep the alleged illegal immigrants while they await their day in court? I have some ideas, but I’m not sure the Leftists crying about “due process” would like them.
Let’s just say they would get to know the illegal immigrants up close and personal.
But where there is a challenge, America finds a way to address it. In this case, we opened a new detention facility in Florida called “Alligator Alcatraz.” Even though it hasn’t been open for very long, it’s already garnering a lot of controversy, from allegations of detainee mistreatment to, and I wish I wasn’t making up, selling merch. Some Leftists have already started calling it “Alligator Auschwitz” because “Trump is literally Hitler” or some shit.
Either way, I would be remiss in my bloggy duties if I didn’t cover this in some fashion, so here we go!
Alligator Alcatraz
What the Left thinks it means – a concentration camp for people who are accused of not being here legally because of their skin color
What it really means – an outgrowth of the Left’s approach to illegal immigration
If the past couple of months has told us anything, it’s that the Left hasn’t met an illegal immigrant they don’t like. And the worse the criminal, the better. Under the watchful eye of President Brick Tamland, illegal immigration blew up more than Rosie O’Donnell with an allergic reaction. Such a large influx not only created strains on our social safety net, but created a nightmare for anyone who tried to enforce the law.
So, that’s why Leftists chose to ignore the law. Well, that, and they’re power hungry assholes, but still.
And under President Tamland, the scheme worked perfectly. More illegal immigrants came into the country with only a fraction of them or the ones already here being returned. All the Left needed to do was not to pick bumbling idiot to be the head of the 2024 ticket.
But, they did it anyway.
Now that there’s a new sheriff in town, there’s been more of a concerted effort to deport illegal immigrants, especially ones who have committed heinous crimes like human trafficking, smuggling, abuse, even murder. And that’s not exactly a small number, kids. This change in approach created a new set of headaches in order to deport the bad apples by the book.
Of course, my idea to use them to test the range of catapults was soundly rejected, but not for a lack of effort. Missed opportunities, I guess.
Anyway, the legal process requires the accused get their days in court, but considering the immigration courts move only slightly faster than continental drift, there came the need to house the accused in the meantime. This is where sites like Alligator Alcatraz come into play.
Now, this next part may be hard for Leftists to understand, so I’ll try to be as clear as I can. These facilities aren’t meant to be the Ritz Carlton. They’re going to be bare bones and intended to keep the bad guys inside. It’s not meant to be nice; it’s meant to be such a deterrent that people with an IQ above the number of people who still think Bluesky could become the next Social Media Platform Formerly Known As Twitter won’t want to go there.
As bad as it’s meant to be, we still have at least some standards to maintain. Meals, sanitation, access to legal counsel, the potential for buggery, and other essentials, for example. This is where the Left says Alligator Alcatraz falls short. Allegations of worms in food to large insects to a lack of sanitary conditions came flooding in faster than illegal immigrants under President Tamland.
This is where my bullshit meter starts going off. A lot. Some of the complaints like large bugs to sweltering temperatures can be explained simply: it’s fucking Florida. Some of the others, like the allegations of worms in the food, seem too horrible to be real. And when you consider Alligator Alcatraz had food trucks come onto the site, I’m going to say the claims of worms in the food might be exaggerated.
Unless those worms were of the gummy variety.
Another reason I have to call bullshit on many of the claims being made about conditions at Alligator Alcatraz is who is making them and who is reporting them. The source for the allegations is detainees. On the surface, they would be the best people to report on conditions inside the facility, but there’s one tiny hitch.
They’re fucking criminals.
Criminals from pickpockets to mass murderers all deal in some level of deceit, especially when they get caught. Nobody’s ever guilty. They’re all the victims of circumstance or a miscarriage of justice. Even if they’re caught red handed, they’ll say “It wasn’t me” more often than Shaggy.
In other words, they have a vested interest in lying. Not unlike the media covering the controversy, who have a vested interest in making anything related to Trump into the worst possible thing ever. I haven’t been able to confirm this independently, so take it with a grain of salt, but if what I’ve heard is true, there have been zero journalists who have been inside Alligator Alcatraz. That means the only source for these stories are those with a predisposition to lie.
Fucking brilliant.
And don’t get me started on the whole “Alligator Auschwitz” shit. Calling the facility a concentration camp, even in jest, is not just factually wrong, but grossly inappropriate. What’s more, none of the Leftists making these kind of remarks has stepped foot inside of Alligator Alcatraz, so they’re speaking out of their asses.
You know, like any other day.
Of course, this is done to play up the “Trump is literally Hitler” angle…again. At this point, the Left has invoked Nazis more than the History Channel and on far less justifiable grounds. And at least the History Channel has “Forged In Fire” which kicks all kind of ass, unlike Leftists.
Having said all that, I have a bone to pick with the way the Right is acting when it comes to Alligator Alcatraz. And by bone, I mean an entire fucking T Rex skeleton.
To some on the Right (I’m looking at you, Laura Loomer), this is all one big joke with alligators eating illegal immigrants as the punchline. This isn’t a joke, folks. These are still human beings. Yes, human beings who have committed a shitload of crimes against others, but human beings nonetheless. Their detainment shouldn’t be used as fodder for t-shirts, tacky souvenirs, and happy photo ops. It should be treated with the seriousness of the situation. The more you don’t, the easier it gets for the Left to paint you as inhuman monsters devoid of any decency whatsoever.
Not that they don’t already think that, mind you, but don’t give them the ammunition to keep doing it.
I see Alligator Alcatraz much like I see DOGE: a decent idea executed poorly. But it’s not the concentration camp the Left wants us to think it is, nor is it the Disneyland with more MS-13 members the Right wants us to think it is. It’s a metaphor for how fucked up we’ve gotten as a society. Yes, we need to find places to detain illegal immigrants while they get due process, but this may not be the way to go. Instead, send them to be with people who will truly appreciate the cultural gifts they bring to the country.
That’s right. Let’s send them to Beverly Hills.
Tag: due process
Leftist Lexicon Word of the Week
The Leftist world was all atwitter (or if you prefer all aX) recently with the story of Kilmar Abrego Garcia, a poor illegal alien soul who was deported back to his home country of El Salvador, allegedly without due process. Without going too far into the weeds, let’s just say you’re more likely to catch Bernie Sanders flying on a private plane than you are to understanding the ins-and-outs of this case.
Wait. Scratch that.
So, to borrow a phrase from hack comedians, what’s the deal with deportation? It’s a complicated issue that deserves sober thinking to understand the gravitas of the subject. But since I’m already a few beers into this, you’ll have to put up with me.
deportation
What the Left thinks it means – a practice that needs to be done by the book, no matter how long it takes
What it really means – the legal consequence for illegal immigration
Contrary to what Rep. Jasmine Crockett says, illegal immigration is a crime. The law in question is the Immigration and Nationality Act which, along with other laws and regulations, provides direction for the immigration and deportation processes. Seems everything should be in order, right?
Not so much.
Much like Disney with negative reviews of “Snow White,” our political class loves to ignore the laws on the books when they’re inconvenient. And let’s just say the immigration laws are mighty inconvenient to the Left. After all, that’s the use of following immigration laws if they prevent you from ensuring Democrat control? You know, aside from those laws being the fucking laws.
That’s not to say Leftists don’t follow the laws all the time. In fact, one area where they demand the laws be followed to the letter is in…you guessed it, Frank Stallone. Actually, it’s deportation, which is really convenient considering it’s our topic for this Lexicon entry. After allowing people to enter the country through our southern border like wine moms going to a Taylor Swift concert, it’s funny to watch Leftists be such sticklers to the letter of the law.
And by “funny,” I mean calculated.
I know I’ve mentioned our good friend Saul Alinsky so often I could be his agent, but one of his Rules for Radicals applies here: “Make the enemy live up to its own book of rules.” Since Republicans believe in the rule of law (unless they find the laws inconvenient for political gain), the Left knows it has them in a box when it comes to immigration. If we have to follow the laws when it comes to stopping illegal immigration, we have to follow the laws when it comes to deportation.
And that’s where Constitutional law comes into play. The US Supreme Court previously ruled all aliens are entitled to due process under the Fifth and Fourteenth Amendments. So, that means regardless of the way they come into the country, they get their day in court.
A noble gesture in theory, but a burden in current practice, thanks to a little thing the Leftist kids like to call the Cloward-Piven Strategy. In short, this strategy is designed to achieve Leftist goals related to poverty by forcing the system to get overwhelmed. And guess how that gets accomplished: illegal immigration.
“But wait, Thomas. Wouldn’t illegal immigrants be ineligible for federal benefits?” you might ask. Or “Are you aware you’re not wearing pants?” The answer to the former is they should be, but thanks to loopholes in the law and soft-hearted and soft-brained politicians (I’m looking at you, Gavin Newsom), they gain access.
So, what does this have to do with deportation? By having to follow due process and the delays caused by so many illegal immigrants being processed over the past few years, the strain to the social safety net continues unabated.
That is, until President Trump got back into the Oval Office and decided to start enforcing immigration law. In the first six weeks, the Trump Administration deported 27,772 illegal immigrants, which is a step in the right direction. Where I think they’ve gone wrong is through fast-tracking the process. Yes, I know this plays into the Cloward-Piven and Alinsky playbooks, but it’s necessary to ensure the Left has no room to bitch. Not that it will stop them, mind you…
Nor will it stop the Left from lying. With the Kilmar Abrego Garcia case alone, we’ve seen attempts from the Left to paint him as an innocent victim denied due process and attempts from the Right to paint him as a gang-banger terrorist who has been legally deported back to his home country of El Salvador. Well, the truth is a bit murkier than these extremes are letting on.
First off, Kilmar Abrego Garcia freely admits he entered the country illegally, but has received a court order preventing him from being deported back to El Salvador out of fear of being attacked by a rival gang. So, not only have we confirmed he’s a member of a gang (MS-13 to be exactly, and I ain’t talking about Microsoft) and that he’s not supposed to be here, but he’s already had due process. But he also has a court order that should have protected him from deportation, as well as a questionable designation as a terrorist.
That means…well, a whole lotta shit, to be honest. If we deport him, we run afoul of the legal process. If we don’t deport him, he will still be affiliated with MS-13 which could put us in mortal danger.
Congratulations. We’re now in Kobayashi Maru territory.
The only way forward is being transparent, follow the law, and, oh yeah, stem the flow of illegal immigration to give the system time to catch up. And guess what the Trump Administration is doing? They’re cracking down, and that’s resulted in reduced encounters at the US/Mexico border. It’s a start, but there’s still a lot more to do.
First of all, let’s stop treating gang members like terrorists. Not only does it set a bad precedent for future Presidents, but it gives Leftists ammunition to call the deportation process into question. And, let’s face it, it’s not exactly the swiftest nor the clearest process in government. Plus, it elevates gang members, which only feeds their egos and gives them enough bravado to commit bigger, more audacious crimes. That, in turn, may cause other gangs to try to play catch-up, making the gang problem even worse.
Second, as much as the Trump Administration wants to rush through the deportation process to get results, we have to play it by the book. It won’t stop Leftists from lying or making gang-bangers look sympathetic figures, but it cuts the due process complaint they have off at the knees. And at the very least, it will make Leftists look like Cotton Hill, which will never fail to make me laugh.
Lastly, it’s long past time we overhaul our immigration and deportation policies. And that requires taking a hard look at our border policies. We can’t keep letting anyone with a sob story (and without paperwork) walk in unexamined while others jump through bureaucratic flaming hoops to gain legal entry. As draconian as Leftists think Trump’s border enforcement may be, it’s working. That gives us time to get our house in order.
If you really think about it (and I have because I’m as boring as an Amish rave), the deportation issues we’re seeing now are an outgrowth from the immigration issue. The more illegal immigrants come into the country, the more deportation orders have to be made once they’re caught. Of course, Leftists will continue to push for sanctuary cities and sanctuary states because, well, they don’t have to deal with the aftermath since they live more in the suburbs than where the illegal immigrants are.
So, let me float this idea, one that I’ve modified from Governors Ron Desantis and Greg Abbott. While they flew illegal immigrants to sanctuary cities and states, I want to send them to the residences of those who insist on being sanctuary cities and states. Preferably, to the houses of those politicians who made those things possible. Maybe that will drive home the point that illegal immigration isn’t something we should encourage.
Or, at the very least, we can point and laugh as we give Leftists exactly what they said they wanted.