In case the 25/8 (because Common Core math) news cycle hasn’t talked about it enough, there’s a bit of a war going on in the Middle East between Israel and Hamas. Seems some members of Hamas decided to attack an Israeli music festival on the 50th anniversary of the Yom Kippur War. This attack left several dead, and others held hostage.
Since then, Israel has been fighting back, which has garnered a schizophrenic response from the Left. Oh, the usual suspects on both sides of the conflict have made statements or in some cases like Rep. Rashida Tlaib waited a while before issuing an incredibly tone-deaf response. But the Left is of two minds on the subject, and both of them are more critical of Israel than of Hamas.
Since Hamas is the elephant in the war room right now, I figured it’s time we give equal attention to them.
What the Left thinks it means – Palestinians fighting to regain the country they lost to Israel
What it really means – a terrorist cell given international legitimacy by fucking idiots
Hamas started out as the political side of your friends and mine, the Muslim Brotherhood, in Gaza. You know, where the strip is. And where there is an ongoing land struggle between Israel and the Palestinians. Think the Hatfields and McCoys but with a greater possibility for nuclear fallout. Palestinians have had settlements on the Gaza Strip for years, and Hamas has made it a point to attack Israel through various means, which meant Israel responded with force and, in doing so, made Leftists throw their intellectual heft being the Palestinians.
Granted, it’s not much, but it’s something.
Of course, the Palestinians love us for…oh, wait, they hate us because we insist on helping our ally in the region, Israel, defend itself against outside forces wanting to destroy it. You know like…Hamas. And that hate isn’t exclusive. No, Hamas is totally inclusive in wanting as many Americans dead as possible, too, up to and including America’s destruction. With friends like these, who needs enemas?
Well, I can tell you one person who needs one to get his head out of his ass, and that’s Puddin’ Head Joe. Remember this is the guy President Barack Obama tapped as his Administration’s foreign policy guru because…we’re not sure yet, but I’m sure it had something to do with being on the Senate Foreign Relations Committee since God took a day off. The previous record holder, of course, was Strom Thurmond, who beat Puddin’ Head Joe by six days.
And thanks to Puddin’ Head Joe, Hamas has a new sugar daddy: Iran. See, back in the 70s, America froze Iranian assets in response to Iran taking American hostages, and that freeze was in place until…Obama and Puddin’ Head Joe came on the scene. After making a foreign policy blunder that even Ray Charles could see (because, you know, he’s dead and all), we turned $6 billion over to the Iranians…who then said they would do what they wanted with the money, which was to give it to Hamas to attack Israel, only to pull it back shortly after offering it. Fucking brilliant!
Now, when you consider Hamas is fond of using primitive weapons against Israel so they can appear to be the victims (with the help of Leftists in the media, but I repeat myself), that $6 billion might last Iran and Hamas a while. When you are winning the PR war, you don’t need tanks and bombs. You just need to convince as many people as possible that the other side is bad and you’re just fighting for all the right reasons.
Hmmm…where have I heard that before, and not that long ago as it turns out? And to the tune several billion dollars to boot! I’m sure our new international bestie Volodymyr Zelenskyy could tell us in between bouts of counting our…I mean his money.
Of course, Hamas does provide a bit of a problem for Leftists trying to paint them as innocent victims. Namely, that they’re terrorists who treat their own people as badly as they want to treat Israelis. Hamas is notorious for using civilians as human shields and buildings where people are to drive up the body count for their PR war. And the Leftists eat it up like it was a responsibly sourced free range veggie and tofu hot dog.
Which poses another problem for Leftists: how do they walk the fine line between being anti-Israel and still shilling for Jewish donor dollars. Some like the members of The Squad try to play both sides with vague statements that downplay the seriousness of what’s going on while showing support for those poor Palestinians. Others don’t even pretend to hide their contempt for Israel, which puts them in direct conflict with Leftists who still hold onto the notion Israel should exist (if only to keep getting Jewish donations).
Regardless, Hamas is a real problem for us, albeit one a few well-placed rocket attacks could remedy…provided we get the courage to do it. After the War on Terror, many Americans lost their taste for fighting terrorism or even calling it out when it’s blatantly obvious. This is because the Left has done a masterful job in controlling the narrative and removing the stigma from being a foreign terrorist by calling anyone who sees the screamingly obvious racist.
Except when it comes to domestic terrorists. But that’s a bullshit narrative for another time.
Which brings us to another bullshit narrative, that being how cold-blooded Israel has been with the Gaza settlements. Not that Leftists would give us the whole story, but Israel gave the settlers a 24 hour window before they started a counter-offensive to allow time for Palestinians to flee to safety. Those bastards!
Seriously, this should tell you a lot about how Israel treats Palestinians who aren’t trying to kill them. These Palestinians have positions in the Israeli Parliament, enjoy economic and personal freedoms, and generally have a better life than they would under Hamas. And that’s one of the real tragedies in this war. The fact so many Palestinians are being used as pawns in a war between Hamas and Israel on both sides of the conflict doesn’t exactly make humanity look that good. Even so, a Palestinian has a better chance at a better life within Israel than an Israeli or even a non-Hamas Palestinian has. Israel has a ways to go, but they’re already further down the road than Hamas.
And let’s not make the same mistake Leftists make and lump Palestinians and Hamas together. Not every Palestinian is connected to Hamas, nor should we think that way. Unfortunately in this case, most of the people living in the Gaza Strip support Hamas in this conflict. Even so, just like when the Left tries to justify illegal immigration by painting them all as asylum seekers or women and children, they do that as a means to appeal to our emotions.
Because the facts make Leftists look like assholes on a much grander scale.
In the meantime, Hamas is still out there, but they’re finding out after fucking around with Israel. Until one side is wiped out or the two sides can forge a more positive outcome together, we’ll be seeing more of this Mass Warfare Tango for years to come.
Let’s just say I’m more hopeful the Sweet Meteor of Death hits us in 2024 than I am the Hamas-Israel fight ending anytime soon.
You may not have known this, but we were on the brink of disaster on October 1st. While most people’s minds are focused on Halloween, which is a holiday where scary fun can be had by all. But Leftists focused on this recent scary date where the government could have shut down. To a Leftist, that concept is scarier than every “Saw” movie combined.
When there’s even a hint of a government shutdown, Leftists lose their minds and start coming up with all sorts of doomsday scenarios. Our military will be scaled back, leaving us defenseless. Old people won’t get their monthly checks, causing them to starve and die. Worst of all, though…”The View” might get renewed for another season!
But if it weren’t for the actions of some plucky political officials, we would be running around with pollution everywhere, cities on fire, and utter chaos. In other words, San Francisco on any given day.
Since the can got kicked down the road until mid-November, we have some time to relax and think more about what a government shutdown actually means.
What the Left thinks it means – holding the country hostage fiscally so a group of right wing extremists get what they want
What it really means – an exercise showing how bloated the federal government has gotten and what can/should be cut without affecting our everyday lives
In the interests of transparency, I am a small government advocate. I know! Shocking, isn’t it? The reason for my position is pretty simple: a smaller government is an accountable government. Right now, Congresscritters can pass whatever bills they want so full of pork both the B’nai B’rith and Muslim organizations reject it on religious grounds. Try pulling that shit when the only thing between you and an angry mob is a receptionist’s desk.
Since I seem to be in the minority on this, I’ve come to understand why some people want a larger government. I don’t like it, but I understand it. And it really comes down to one thing: people today want to be ruled rather than governed. It’s easier to let someone else tackle the big stuff so we can go back to obsessing about pumpkin spice this and TikTok that and celebrity gossip the other thing. Keeping informed is just too hard, guys! And it’s boring! So, why not just let the government run everything so we can focus on the really important stuff?
Because, ladies and gentlemen, we’re being run by powerful idiots who make bad decisions on the regular. Like not having an actual budget for, oh, decades now. That’s right! Our federal government has not passed a budget since 1996. The way we’ve kept the lights on in Washington, DC, has been through either Continuing Resolutions (basically a legislative method to kick the can down the road in the hopes someone else will pass a budget) or through omnibus spending bills (basically a legislative method to kick the can down the road in the hopes someone else will pick up the tab for their expenditures).
In short, we’re fucked. And neither the Left nor the Right have any plans to unfuck us. But only one side really goes out of its way to turn their collective fiscal irresponsibility into a horror show where everyone is a victim. I’ll give you three guesses, and all three are “Leftists.”
See, Leftists have this unshakable faith in the government as the source of all good in the world. If the government doesn’t do a particular task, Leftists will find a way to wedge the government in there, which creates layer upon layer of bureaucracy. And over time, that bureaucracy grows and becomes more essential to the task until the two are permanently stuck together like my fingers when I try to use Crazy Glue.
And with that Amazing Colossal Bureaucracy comes job opportunities for Leftists, as well as money from said government drones and power over the rest of us. So, when there’s the threat of the government shutting down, it starves the bureaucracy and curtails the power it wields. To the Left, that’s the worst possible thing that could happen. To me, it’s threatening me with a good time.
It should be pointed out government shutdowns have become a political football for the Left and the Right for the past several years. Of these, 13 occurred under a Republican President, while the remaining 8 happened with a Democrat in the White House. Although both major parties shared the blame early on, Republicans took the majority of the blame for the more recent shutdowns because, well, the Left told us they were to blame and enough people believed them.
And because they were right, even if only half so. Both parties are to blame for not being able to pay the country’s bills, mainly because they’re the ones running up the budget to pay for things like non-existent aircraft, wrenches and toilet seats that cost more than the GDP of most of Africa, and really stupid expenditures.
Like more money going to Ukraine.
Yes, kids, the House Democrats weren’t willing to bend much on sending more money to a country we’re supporting in a war between two countries where their leaders are corrupt, dishonest men. Meanwhile, House Republicans wanted money to go towards disaster relief because, as the residents of East Palestine and Maui will tell you, the Puddin’ Head Joe Administration hasn’t done jack shit to help them.
Whenever government shutdowns loom larger than Michael Moore’s shadow, both sides always call for “clean bills,” which is a euphemism for “a bill that pays for everything we want while fucking over the other side.” Between that and the complaints about how many pages the proposed spending bill is, it’s amazing anything gets done at all because both sides would rather play chicken with our tax dollars than come up with an actual budget to constrain costs as much as any federal budget can.
But in the end, both sides know a government shutdown is more theatrical than fiscal. The Left will run sob story after sob story about some lower level drone who won’t get paid and, thus, will go hungry. The Right will complain about how little was cut, but how they had to surrender like the French when there was a minute amount of pushback from the Left.
And the rest of us go on living life as normal for the most part. I’ve been alive for each of the government shutdowns I mentioned above, and not once have the doomsday scenarios painted by the Left ever happened. Even the longer ones didn’t affect most people.
That’s one of the dirty secrets of government shutdowns: the programs the Left always paint as being on the verge of collapse due to the shutdown are usually scheduled to be paid without interruption. And the government employees who lose their jobs when there’s a shutdown? They still get paid after the fact.
Which means…it’s all a show that we’re paying for, but not really enjoying. So, like “Two and a Half Men” on demand, only without the demand part.
The thing to remember whenever a government shutdown is threatened is most people know how to get by even better without the government than they do with it. This may be my small government bias talking (or just common sense), but the fact we don’t need much government should tell both sides maybe we don’t need to spend so much on their services. But that would mean they would have to willingly give up the money and power they get by having the government’s tentacles in every aspect of our lives, sometimes several times over.
Anything short of a full scale fire-and-rehire movement on Capitol Hill won’t prevent a government shutdown going forward. However, I do have a way for us to save some money doing something both sides like to do, but don’t like to admit.
That’s right. Outsourcing Congress to India.
At this point, anything’s worth a shot.
As we get older, we tend to reminisce about our younger days and the great times we had. Whether it was sock hops, sit-ins, snorting lots of cocaine, or spending quarters in a Pac Man machine, we look back fondly and even wish we could go back. But there are some things that should be left in the past and buried under all the copies of the Atari 2600 ET game.
Unfortunately for us, one such thing has come back, thanks to the Federal Communications Commission. Yep, I’m talking about net neutrality, the only thing standing between order and chaos online (at least in the Leftist hivemind). And thanks to the Puddin’ Head Joe Administration, it’s trying to make a comeback.
So, what exactly is the New Coke/Crystal Pepsi of online endeavors and why is it coming back? Prepare for a journey into the absurd!
What the Left thinks it means – a necessary tool to hold internet providers accountable
What it really means – a way of making internet service shitty for everybody
Net neutrality on paper is simple. In theory, it makes sure providers aren’t treating customer’s differently because of the amount of internet they use. All content, whether it be a Facebook post or a lengthy documentary on Netflix would be treated the same, even if the former uses 100 times more bandwidth than the Netflix user.
Now, internet providers, being capitalists and, thus, not complete economic dumbasses, see traffic as potential revenue streams and seek to maximize the number of people who are using their service whenever possible. You know, like every other fucking business on the planet? As a result, providers started limiting the usage of some high-level users so others could use their service, a practice called “throttling.” The ethics of throttling can be debated, but what can’t be debated is the effect net neutrality will have on internet providers.
Just like when Leftists talk about economic justice or climate justice, the goal is to create equality by fiat rather than cooperation. Internet providers are in it to make a buck, and thank God or Bill Gates or Al Gore for it. As the technology has spread further into the global consciousness, internet access has gone from a “neat to have” to a “need to have” in people’s minds. Why else do you think teenagers today have emotional breakdowns over losing their phones? After all, they need to let the world know what shoes they wore to school today or what dance they learned off TikTok. You know, really important shit!
To that end, the Left has slowly been working on making internet access a utility or, in some cases, a human right. That’s not because they give two shits about poor people having internet; it’s because it makes the argument for government intervention easier.
The federal government, at least in theory, is charged with protecting its citizens and their freedoms as guaranteed by the Constitution. As we’ve seen with the southern border, though, that’s a theory that doesn’t stand up to current scrutiny. Regardless, elevating the service that brings us Nigerian princes, penis enlargement pills, and hot Ukrainian women who want to date American men to an essential part of life brings in the expectation of the government to rally for and provide for this need. Hence, net neutrality becomes the back door to making that a reality.
Which has been the plan all along. The problem the Left has with the internet as it stands right now is they don’t control it. After all, what good is free speech online if the Left can’t control it, amirite?
Now, if net neutrality were actually effective, we might have an issue on our hands. Fortunately for us and anyone else who thinks government intervention in the internet works about as good as a Crocs diving helmet, we don’t yet. A recent poll by RealClear Opinion Research shows Leftists are still in the minority when it comes to stifling free speech, but only by 6%. As demographics and mortality rates change, that number is most likely going to get tighter.
When that happens, net neutrality will be realized, regardless of how effective it is. And if you thought Twitter under the Leftist hivemind was bad, wait until these same dumbfucks take over the internet as a whole.
Of course, what we on the “fuck net neutrality” side have going for us is the speed at which technology changes versus the lack of speech at which legislation and regulation changes. To put it mildly, even the most tech-savvy Leftists on Capitol Hill are subject to the whims of Representatives and Senators so old they used to exchange phone numbers on cave walls beside drawings of their last mastodon hunt. And these old-timers aren’t necessarily going to push for something they barely understand and the new blood can’t explain well enough to bridge that gap.
In my lifetime, we’ve gone from dial-up internet where 28.8 baud modems were the cutting edge to fiber optic and satellite internet service cropping up like dandelions in a Midwest lawn. Right now, the pro-net neutrality crowd hasn’t caught up to the current tech, which puts any efforts to make net neutrality a thing at a great disadvantage. When technology can be obsolete by the time you put it on a credit card, the glacial pace of government means their solution will be light years behind the technology it’s supposed to regulate.
Even so, we can’t fall asleep at the switch on net neutrality because the Left will continue to find ways to make it a thing. Whether it’s an appeal to emotions, an overstated sense of urgency to save the internet, or the Left’s favorite method of persuasion (outright lying), the arguments the Left will roll out will appeal to the uninformed. Which, oddly enough, will appeal to other Leftists more than anyone else, but that’s neither here nor there.
Still, it won’t hurt to bring up a fact the Left wants memory-holed: they predicted the death of the internet if net neutrality wasn’t in place.
How’s that working out for you, net neutrality fans?
Typically, I prefer to discuss ideas rather than people here on the Lexicon. For one, talking ideas doesn’t lead to fractured relationships, hurt feelings, and getting called a heartless asshole. For another, ideas can’t lawyer up and sue me for shit. But there are times when a person stands up and demands you pay attention to him or her.
So, welcome to the Leftist Lexicon, Senator John Fetterman!
What the Left thinks it means – a capable Democrat Senator fighting for the working man
What it really means – an incapable Democrat Senator appearing to fight for the working man when he isn’t fighting in stupid slap fights
Although you might not know it from his manner of dishevelment… I mean dress, Fetterman’s story is one of relative privilege. He attended Albright College, a private college in Pennsylvania, where the most recent tuition will set you back a cool $27,560 per semester. Oh, but they offer financial aid, so it totally makes it not an overpriced shithole where you only need a 3.05 GPA to be accepted!
For you Leftists out there and Senator Fetterman, that was sarcasm.
After receiving an MBA from the University of Connecticut and a Master of Public Policy from Harvard, Fetterman went into the insurance business, a pretty lucrative career because people will always do stupid shit. Then, he made the jump into politics, which has proven to be more lucrative because people will always ask him to do stupid shit and pay him money to do it. Starting out as the Mayor of Braddock, PA, Fetterman made a name for himself.
Not in a good way.
But that didn’t stop him! He was Lt. Governor and later ran for the US Senate in 2022, beating out Dr. Mehmet “Not the Wizard of” Oz, who was backed by former President Donald Trump. (More on that later.)
Since his election to the Senate, Fetterman has taken up a number of Leftist causes, but he’s still fighting for the working class! He even caused a stir recently due to his propensity to dress like he’s about to mow his lawn instead of representing the state of Pennsylvania. As a result of Republican complaints, that stalwart of decency Sen. Charles “Amy’s Lesser Known Relative” Schumer relaxed the Senate dress code so Fetterman could continue to look like a bum while getting paid a king’s ransom. Fetterman went so far as to make a deal with the “jagoffs in the House”: support Ukraine and not shut down the government and he’ll wear a suit on the Senate floor.
Hope you like what you elected, Pennsylvania.
Actually, that’s a bit harsh. There is plenty of blame to go around, from Dr. Oz being such a bad candidate Hillary Clinton sued him for plagiarism, to Donald Trump, who endorsed Oz over other more viable (and easily more articulate) candidates because…fame equals electability, I guess? Regardless of who you or I blame, the point is Fetterman is a Senator.
And a sham.
Pennsylvania has a blue collar reputation, earned from decades of hard working men and women in the steel industry and other such work-intensive jobs. And they can sense a bullshitter a mile away…usually. In this case, Fetterman convinced enough people to ignore his privileged past and just focus on him being one of them. He sounded the part (i.e. the previous Tweet with the word “jagoffs”), he looked the part, and he supported a $15 per hour minimum wage. He issued a press release supporting striking members of the United Auto Workers and even flew to Michigan to join the picket lines.
But it’s all an act. He’s going through the motions and saying the right things to keep his image of an everyman intact. All he has to do is hate the right people and things (i.e. the rich), and he’s set for life. Just like any other Senator today.
Although many others have commented on Fetterman’s mental faculties taking a hit since he had a stroke in 2022, I’m going to refrain from mocking that. First, it’s tacky. Fun, but tacky. Second, making fun of his issues will only help him appear to be a victim. That’s right, kids, Mr. Big Tough Average Joe plays the victim card like a blackjack dealer on truck stop speed working straight commission because…people made fun of him! Oh the horror!!!!!
Someone get Fetterman a fainting futon, stat!
That doesn’t speak well of Fetterman in the character department because it shows his willingness to exploit personal frailty for political gain. Sure, it’s funny when he garbles his words to the point Kamala Harris looks like William F. Buckley in the erudite speaking arena, but behind the verbal stumbles and occasional mental short circuits lies a man who is playing voters like a Stradivarius.
And if current approval ratings among Democrats are any indication, Fetterman is Itzhak Perlman in gym shorts.
But the same poll that shows Fetterman’s popularity with his own party also shows he’s not as well liked at home. I can only speculate as to why, but it’s clear Fetterman’s new Senator smell might be wearing off, leaving the odor of the Ghost of Cheeseburgers Past lingering in the air. Whether that will continue until he’s up for reelection in 2028 is also a matter of opinion. In the meantime, Pennsylvanians will have to get used to being represented by someone who looks like he could be asking you for spare change.
More to the point, however, John Fetterman is on the level of the Socialist Socialite as far as effectiveness: not very. But when you’re a Leftist darling, you can practically do no wrong until you fall out of favor. Just ask Cindy Sheehan, Kyrsten Sinema, and Bob Menendez. Although you might want to ask that last one sooner rather than later because he might be heading to prison soon. So, as long as Fetterman does what he’s told to do and attack those the Left want attacked, he should be fine.
Which fucking sucks because he’s so incompetent I’m surprised he hasn’t been tapped to be in the Puddin’ Head Joe Administration.
X, formerly known as Twitter, is looking into the possibility of charging users a small monthly fee to use the service. If this happens it will be the final death blow to the Social Media platform.
Twitter was my favorite Social Media outlet, back when it was young. It had no ads, it no gimmicks, just simple text and some attached images. Plain, simple, useful.
I have written before that I prefer the older forms of Social Media, before it even had a name. Email Groups, Blogs, and Internet Forums.
With these there is control of who sees your posts. Who comments on your posts. And even who is a member of the circle getting the posts. Now, of course, they can be sent on to other places as well.
All of the current Social Media outlets can be replaced. But not with the batch of clones that are out now that are mimicking the current popular platforms. Even now we have multiple Twitter clones out there and all fall short of the original.
Will X survive by charging all members a fee? I don’t think so. Most sites, even news sites, that have paywalls I personally browse away from the moment I hit that wall.
Are Paywalls good to have? It depends. Yes in some cases it is a good measure. In other cases, it is not. And for Social Media. It is a bad idea.
I’m sorry there wasn’t a Leftist Lexicon entry this week. There were so many topics and not enough time to devote to delving into them. I don’t want to do a half-assed job of it, considering that’s what I do already. If I half-ass my usual half-ass job, you’re only getting a quarter-ass, and that’s not good enough. If I’m going to half-ass something, I’m going to half-ass it all the way, baby
To make up for the lack of a Lexicon entry, I’m bringing back one of my Quick Hits segments where I give my opinions on topics that are interesting (at least to me), but may not be able to be developed into a full blog post. Hope you enjoy!
GOP on Abortion – The Left has been talking about how Republicans can craft a winning message on abortion now that Roe v Wade has been relegated back to the states. And from what I’m hearing, some Republicans want the next President to do something on the federal level to protect babies in the womb.
Ummm…that’s what Roe v Wade was, kids. The Supreme Court just sent abortion rights back to the states and you asshats want to bring it back to the federal level? That’s proving what the pro-baby-death…I mean reproductive rights crowd said about you right. Don’t give them such an easy W.
The War in Ukraine – It’s still going on, and we’re still on the hook for billions of dollars until, well, we get tired of being Ukraine’s sugar daddy. People are starting to figure out there’s more to the Ukraine-Russia conflict than democracy. Namely, a lot of money for politicians who would love nothing more than to keep Ukraine in the fight if only to hide the covert business dealings.
During the second Gulf War, Leftists chanted “No blood for oil.” Now these same Leftists are practically chanting “All the blood for 10% for the Big Guy.”
UAW Strike – The big three automakers watched as members of the United Auto Workers union walked off the jobs due to the companies not meeting union demands. Among the union’s demands were a 40% pay raise over 4 years with an immediate raise of 20%. As someone who hasn’t seen more than a single-digit raise in, oh, ever, a 20% hike is impressive…in its stupidity.
Look, I know the Big Three made record profits, but that doesn’t make it automatically yours, regardless of what Puddin’ Head Joe tells you. Before you start holding out your hands expecting the Big Three to shower you with money, think about the expenditures side of the ledger. If I make $1 billion in profit and I spend $900 million of that to expand my business or make necessary adjustments to existing worksites, the profit side goes down a bunch. How are the Big Three spending these record profits? Until you can answer that question, don’t look for me on the picket lines.
Another union demand was a cost of living increase to match inflation. You know, the inflation created in large part by the idiots they helped elect in 2020?
And speaking of one of those idiots…
the Biden impeachment – Speaker of the House Kevin McCarthy announced the initiation of an inquiry into whether Puddin’ Head Joe broke the law via influence peddling through Joe’s crackhead son, Hunter. (More on him later.) Well, the Left broke out the “sham impeachment” talk early and often, stating there was no evidence Puddin’ Head Joe broke the law. And they’re right…if you ignore all the evidence that literally exists.
But I will have to say the Left knows what a sham impeachment looks like, considering they did two of them to former President Donald Trump.
gun rights in New Mexico – After recent shootings in her state, New Mexico Governor Michelle Lujan Grisham issued an executive order banning the right to carry, citing a public health emergency. As you might imagine, this went over as well as the Botulism Special at Chipotle. Here’s how fucked up it got: Rep. Ted Lieu and poster boy for gun control David Hogg said Lujan Grisham was full of shit.
Since her initial fuck-up and subsequent doubling down, Lujan Grisham has amended her original order to restrict the right to carry only in public parks and playgrounds. And she vowed to keep looking for a way to make her fuck-up legal.
I’d wish you luck, Madam Governor, but I really don’t want to.
Elon Musk and Starlink – In their quest to make themselves look even more like their party mascot, the Left let their hate boner for Elon Musk get the better of them again as it relates to the Russia-Ukraine war. Seems there’s a groundswell of Leftists calling out Musk for…not letting Ukraine use his technology for their military gain. That bastard!
While the Left keeps trying to make the case Musk should be arrested for not being Ukraine’s bitch, they’re missing a pretty important concept: it’s his fucking toy! Last time I checked, we still had the right to refuse service in America, and since Starlink is specifically for residential internet use, Musk rightly said no when Ukraine asked to use it for military use. Whenever the government tries to force you to use a product or service, it winds up being a legal battle down the line, one the Left tends to lose.
Can you say “Obamacare” and “mask mandates”? I knew you could.
Muslims and the LBGTQIAABCDEFGHOWMANYMOREFUCKINGLETTERSAREWEGOINGTOADD+ community – The gay rights community has found itself a new opponent to add to the list of the opponents they already have: Muslims. News reports from across the country show more and more Muslims are standing up to the “Gay Mafia” and refusing to knuckle under to their demands. Now, I’m not ready to start praying to Allah, but I have to wonder if the Left ever saw this coming. I mean, it’s not like Muslims have strict religious doctrine surrounding homosexuahhhhhhh yes they do. And it’s not like it’s hidden, either. Even the most permissive Islamic sects aren’t keen on gay rights.
Apparently, those “Coexist” bumper stickers are as deep as the Left cares to go on this topic.
the Hunter Biden blues – Yep, First Fuck-Up Hunter Biden was finally brought up on federal gun charges after only getting a judicial slap on the wrist for what amounts to tax fraud. Of course, if someone from the IRS wants to show me where hookers and blow are tax deductible, I’d be willing to hear him/her out. Even the staunchest pro-gun control Leftists are saying the actual actions Hunter took aren’t usually prosecuted and, thus, are no big deal.
Let that dumbfuckery sink in for a moment. These fucknuckles are the ones who fought for these laws to be put on the books in the first place, but now that the President’s son is the one caught breaking the law, it’s become a race to see who can come up with the shittiest takes to minimize the damage it will do to Puddin’ Head Joe’s reelection campaign in 2024. And without going into too much detail, rest assured the Left sent their best to come up with the worst takes.
If this doesn’t prove the gun control side is motivated by everything but actual safety, nothing will.
a Tale of Four Titties – Politics and sex go hand in, well you know, and 2023 is no different. On the Left, we have Democrat candidate for the Virginia statehouse Susanna Gibson who offered users of a website called Chaturbate the opportunity to see her perform sexually explicit acts for money. On the Right, we have Rep. Lauren Boebert who was caught on surveillance camera getting frisky with her date at a performance of “Beetlejuice.”
Guess which one the Left and the media (but I repeat myself) have been talking about more. Spoiler Alert: it’s Boebert.
Regardless of where you come down on the political spectrum, we’re coming into an age where this type of sexual shit is going to become more prevalent, and being prudish (or faux prudish for political means) isn’t going to make people act better. The sooner we come to terms with the fact adults like to fuck other adults, the sooner we can move onto more important issues, like how to unfuck our economy. Grow up, people!
And last, but certainly least…
Meet the Press boycott – It was a new era on television, as Kristen Welker took over the failing political news/talk show “Meet the Press” this week. And who was one of her guests? Donald Trump.
Well, let’s just say the Left wasn’t happy Welker gave the former President a platform by which he could…talk about his ongoing 2024 Presidential campaign. See, Leftists (who are totes pro-freedom and not at all fascist) have been trying to find a way to disqualify Trump from running again, and they saw the sit-down interview as a slap to their collectivist faces. And now, these Leftists are going to boycott the show…even if all 14 faithful viewers won’t notice the difference.
And if the power goes off in the coma section of the hospital, that number is gonna drop hard.
Well, I hope you enjoyed this brief look at the wonderful wacky world of American politics, law, and culture. See you soon!
Normally, your friendly neighborhood blogger spends time writing about politics or social issues that deserve to be mocked. This week I’m stretching my legs a bit to go into the tech world…to mock it.
Artificial Intelligence, or AI for short, has taken the world by storm, and by storm I mean CAT 4 Billion hurricane. Although the technology being used now to create AI bots online is at tin-cans-connected-by-string level, it’s starting to get better. And it’s starting to get people worried.
So worried that the Puddin’ Head Joe Administration put Vice President Kamala Harris the AI Czar. Who better to discuss Artificial Intelligence than a real dumbass?
Needless to say (which is why I’m typing it), the Left is starting to feel the heat from the rise of AI. Which means it’s the perfect subject…to mock them.
What the Left thinks it means – a technological advance that will negatively affect the arts, human interaction, and social issues
What it really means – a computer pretending to be human…for now
The concept of AI has been around since last century in science fiction and other fantastic stories, but it didn’t really come into being until 1954, when Allen Newell, Cliff Shaw, and Herbert Simon came up with a program called Logic Theorist, which attempted to duplicate the thought processes of a human. When it was unveiled two years later, it was heralded as a breakthrough, as it should have been.
From there, AI experienced highs and lows, advances and setbacks, peanut butter and jelly. Once the matter of computer storage was resolved, AI truly began to come into its own, thanks to a little computer known as Deep Blue. In 1996, IBM pit the computer against chess champion Garry Kasparov in a chess match which Deep Blue shockingly won. This was the first sign AI was not only possible, but had the potential to outperform humans.
Do you want SkyNet? Because this is how we get SkyNet.
Seriously, though, in the nearly 30 years after Deep Blue, AI has found its way into society, tech and non-tech alike. The currently striking screenwriters are afraid AI will replace them. (Given the absolute dog shit Hollywood has been putting out the past two decades, though, I’m not sure it’s that big of a loss.) “South Park” devoted an episode to ChatGPT where part of the script was written by it. Even art is seeing AI’s slow creep into its hallowed halls.
And earlier this month, Warner Music signed the world’s first AI generated pop star, Noonoouri. The song, “Dominoes,” is about what you would expect. Words strung together to a beat with a noticeable hook that’s easy to like. In other words, just like pop music today, but with more natural singing.
I have a lot of questions, not the least of which being how a computer program can get paid by a studio to produce music, but the point is still AI has found its way into our culture in a new way: through shitty music.
But it’s not all virtual sunshine and online lollipops for AI. A recent poll showed over 60% of people surveyed view AI as a threat to our future. Others feel their jobs could be negatively affected by the rise of AI just in California alone. Although AI has the potential to revolutionize many vital fields like medicine, the fear of AI replacing humans is real.
And this is where I throw a wet blanket on the fearmongering. Ain’t I a stinker?
The thing to remember about AI is it’s only as good as the people programming it and the program’s ability to react to new data sources. That’s why I said we were still at the tin-cans-connected-by-string level earlier. The technology is still relatively new and is getting better at an astounding rate with no ceiling as yet as to how much better it will get, but it’s still limited by human intelligence and biases.
Take facial recognition software, for example. One of the most well-known problems with it can be tied to unconscious racial biases, which can only be programmed by…humans with these biases. The program isn’t capable of it; it’s just doing what it’s been told to do as quickly as possible.
That’s AI’s Achilles’ heel, folks. AI as it stands right now is only capable of following orders within the parameters of the program itself. The “learning” it’s doing is by design, which means the data can be manipulated or controlled. Just ask Microsoft how its AI chatbot turned into a racist by going on Twitter.
Although it’s nice to see us applying more caution to AI than we did when the Internet became a thing, we need to ratchet back the fear and loathing going on right now. Yes, it has the potential to make some industries go by the wayside, but potential is not certainty. Every piece of technology we have has a due-by date. At some point in the future, it will become obsolete, and everything connected to that technology has to either evolve or become just as obsolete.
This is where free market capitalism comes into play. Any worker with his or her salt can adapt to changing conditions out of no other reason than economic necessity. He/she will gain new skills, learn new techniques, develop new attitudes and processes that will safeguard his/her job and possibly propel him/her to a new position. The grind may not always net these results, but they certainly help you look more indispensable.
This is not to say the writers, artists, etc., who are afraid for their jobs in the AI-crazy world aren’t working hard to hold onto them. They are. I’m saying their energies should be focused on ways to make them stand out in a good way. Instead of trying to figure out how to redo “Romeo and Juliet” with a modern twist or doing the 35 billionth representation of man’s inhumanity to man, find a way to bring an original idea to the forefront. Sure, you risk rejection, but the law of averages says at some point your original idea is going to resonate with someone.
As far as AI is concerned, I’m staying cautiously optimistic. Until an AI bot becomes self-aware and capable of overruling its programing, humanity will be safe. That’s not to say nothing’s going to change, but as long as humans keep being imperfect little meat puppets, we will always have the edge over any AI.
And if you really want to fuck with AI, make it only access Reddit. That will confuse it long enough for someone to pull the plug.
It’s really easy to go with the flow, especially when the rest of society seems to follow suit. We typically don’t like conflict because it’s usually more hassle than it’s worth. But there are times when the masses are asses (because the M is silent) and a person decides not to go along to get along.
In the world of women’s sports, Riley Gaines is just such a person. An accomplished student athlete, Gaines came into prominence for expressing concern over trans swimmer Lia Thomas dressing with and swimming against biological women, as well as the way the NCAA treated her when she tied Thomas in the 2022 NCAA Women’s Championships. And for that, she’s become a lightning rod for Leftists who want to paint her as transphobic.
After a recent ass-raping…I mean online conversation with Keith “Don’t You Know Who I Am?” Olbermann, I decided to take some time to delve into the Left’s hate boner for Riley Gaines.
What the Left thinks it means – a bitter former swimmer who is using transphobia to grift the right wing into ignoring her failures as a swimmer
What it really means – an actual feminist, not the Leftist mutant variety
At the heart of this aquatic controversy is a simple question, one the Left can’t seem to answer: what is a woman? Naturally, you would think the Party of Science would be able to use, you know, science to provide insight and logic in a response. You would think that, but you’d be wrong.
See, the Left can’t rely on the science here because it would confirm what everyone who doesn’t reside in Delusionville has been saying from the start: there are only 2 genders. Because of this, the Party of Science has to be unscientific and muddy the genetic waters to allow for trans people to identify as whichever gender they want without having to deal with the hassle of actually being said gender.
Now, throw in the physical and psychological differences between men and women, put all of this into the athletic arena, and you’ll get…one confusing gender gumbo. The thing is you don’t need to be a scientist to know men and women have physical differences that would play a factor in the outcomes of athletic contests. You know…like, oh I don’t know…swimming.
Consider something as simple as arm span when it comes to swimming. Although there are some women whose spans can rival those of men, more often than not the advantage will go to the men. Longer arm span generates more force that will propel the swimmer further and potentially faster in the pool. Put in a way even Leftists can understand: biological men, regardless of how they identify, will have more of an edge in the pool.
And before you Leftists try to “correct” me saying Thomas was transitioning at the time, it is noted she started to take hormones after coming out as trans in 2018. Even so, she retained the body of a biological male. See, hormone treatments don’t affect biology in that way. They can affect the way one looks, but they don’t change muscle density, bone structure, or genetics. Until you can affect that, it’s still a man, baby, as can be corroborated by eyewitnesses.
Like Riley Gaines.
Gaines is reviled for standing up for women’s sports, not because she’s a transphobe, but because she’s cuts through the Left’s bullshit when it comes to trans women in sports. She’s been directly affected by the Left’s “conform or be cast out” approach in spite of tying Thomas. Since she can’t be silenced, the Left have taken a new approach: paint her as a sore loser.
Just like Keith Olbermann, Nebraska state Senator Megan Hunt, and pro-trans Leftists did.
Now, if I remember Leftist squawking points correctly, we’re supposed to believe women when they’ve been assaulted. Also, if we attack women, it’s because we’re misogynists afraid of strong, outspoken women. So, what would that make Leftists attacking Gaines?
Hypocrites. The judges would have also accepted “assholes.”
What it doesn’t make them is feminists, not even in the Leftist sense of the word. It wasn’t that long ago that Leftists were at the forefront of women’s rights, even to the point of pushing female supremacy. Sure, they’ll pay lip service to the pro-baby death…I mean “pro choice” movement, but what has that gotten them?
Cash. Lots and lots of cash.
And the thing is Gaines isn’t even what the Left would consider a feminist because they have expanded the definition to include women who were born men. However, Gaines is a classical feminist in the sense she wants to have as much of a shot at success as men do. Too bad the NCAA and the Left want to keep women down.
After all this time, it’s taken men who claim to be women to make Leftist feminists bend the knee in the name of inclusion and diversity. Isn’t it ironic, doncha think?
Although Riley Gaines is swimming against the current, she’s made headway in getting people to recognize the issues with trans women competing with biological women in athletics. This is going to make her famous, infamous, and a target for unnecessary vitriol, all at the same time. But as any martyr will tell you, the righteousness of the cause provides an unshakable courage that will carry you through any rough times. Of course, in order to be a martyr, you have to die for your cause, so talking to them might be an issue unless you have a great metaphysical roaming plan through your cell phone provider.
While you get that sorted out, just consider there are more and more people taking up for Gaines quietly because of the way the Left and the trans community coerce people into submission. But if you think you can suffer the slings and arrows of outrageously stupid Leftists, add your name to the chorus and let the world know you want women to compete against women.
Especially if there’s a kiddie pool full of Jello involved.
Through a President’s time in office, there are several defining moments that write how his (and eventually her) will be remembered. Ronald Reagan’s Brandenburg Gate speech (“Mr. Gorbachev, tear down this wall.”). George W. Bush’s first post-9/11 appearance in New York City. Bill Clinton using an intern as a humidor.
When the history of Puddin’ Head Joe’s administration is written, his handling of the wildfires in Maui will be referenced. Leftists are busy trying to make Puddin’ Head Joe look intelligent, decisive, and compassionate, while the real world is shaking its head in disbelief.
And I have a topic to discuss…while shaking my head in disbelief.
What the Left thinks it means – a clear example of Joe Biden’s leadership
What it really means – a clear example of Joe Biden’s leadership, just not in the way the Left thinks
To make things easier, here is a timeline of events so even Leftists can follow along. What started with strong winds quickly grew into a much larger problem within a matter of minutes, as natural disasters often do. Or in the case of Puddin’ Head Joe, a matter of weeks. More on that later.
Without missing a beat, Leftists leapt into action…to bring up climate change as the cause of or a significant factor in the destruction. This before an official investigation has been conducted in full and while Hawaiians are sorting through the loss of property and life. But remember, kids, Leftists care about people, dammit!
But apparently not enough to interrupt Puddin’ Head Joe’s vacation. In fact, the administration took an entire week before issuing a statement about the wildfires and what the Administration would do to help. A. Fucking. Week. And somewhere Michael “Heck of a job, Brownie” Brown is saying, “What the fuck??”
To put it mildly, Puddin’ Head Joe responded to the Maui wildfires with the sense of urgency of a drugged sloth after a year-long bender with Charlie Sheen. Between responses of “no comment” and initially offering a whopping $700 per household to Hawaiians affected by the wildfire, it was clear to anyone not guzzling the Leftist Kool Aid that Puddin’ Head Joe was out of his depth.
But, hey, no mean tweets, amirite?
Eventually (as in 2 weeks after the wildfires began), Puddin’ Head Joe and Dr. Jill dragged their asses to Maui to survey the damage. And they were met with much deserved criticism from politicians and Hawaiians alike. Granted, this was before the President spoke, so little did they know how much worse it was going to get.
Like comparing the loss of property and life to a fucking small house fire. And not even having the courtesy to tell the fucking truth! This is William Hung levels of tonedeafness. And once Puddin’ Head Joe and Dr. Jill did their bit for the cameras to show how much they care…they went back on vacation.
Remember how much shit Ted Cruz got for going on vacation during a winter blackout in Texas? I know he does. But if the Left didn’t have double standards, they wouldn’t have any standards at all.
Even with the already low bar the Left has set for Puddin’ Head Joe, he finds a way to limbo under it. But anyone who is surprised by the delays and ineptitude of the federal response have forgotten the disaster that was the East Palestine train derailment. One fumble could be explained away (and believe me the Left tried), but this is the second major disaster this year alone and the responses aren’t getting any better. Granted, we don’t want Presidents to have a lot of experience dealing with natural disasters, but you would think someone with Puddin’ Head Joe’s 50+ years of public service would have picked up a thing or two.
Then again, this is Joe Biden we’re talking about here. Even at his prime he wasn’t even an intellectual midget, let alone an intellectual giant. But he’s gotten by through a combination of a likeable personality and a party willing to turn away when Puddin’ Head Joe goes off script. The problem with this approach is eventually you’ll come across a situation where you can’t charm your way out of trouble and have to show you can do the job.
And the people of Maui are finding out Puddin’ Head Joe can’t do the job, even when it’s screamingly obvious what needs to happen.
That’s why the Left has to make the President look like he’s on top of it all and being the “empathizer-in-chief.” Oh, and to change headlines to blame climate change or praising him for the smallest of accomplishments. You know, just like what happened under previous Presidents faced with disasters, right?
Not so much.
As angry as this makes me, I can’t help but feel sorry for the people of Maui who are getting a taste of Leftist leadership at a time of need. The good thing for Puddin’ Head Joe is his ineptitude is happening this year and not in 2024 when he’s stumbling…I mean running for reelection. The voting public tend to have a short memory when it comes to bad performances in non-election years, especially when it comes to Leftists. The media play a big role in memory-holing anything negative and gaslighting you into thinking it never happened.
Don’t believe those pesky facts and eyewitness reports of Puddin’ Head Joe being Abe Simpson with the nuclear codes. Just sit back and watch more TikTok videos or go see the Barbie movie so you can talk about it on social media! After all, social media presence is much more important than the leader of the free world being not just senile, but an incredibly bad judge of character, intelligence, and competence.
As much as I’d like to think Hawaii is going to learn its lesson from the Maui wildfires, I have serious reservations. Case in point: perpetual dumbass Senator Mazie Hirono keeps getting reelected. But the residents’ vocal and visual disappointment in what Puddin’ Head Joe said and did is a ray of hope that somehow they’ve had enough of Leftist politicians and their lack of attention on the common person. The more people speak up about Biden’s fuckups, the harder it gets for Leftists to spin them as right wing cranks trying to attack the President for purely political reasons.
News Flash for you Leftists out there: not everyone who criticizes Puddin’ Head Joe is a MAGA-head. Anybody with a brain and basic human decency can tell you Biden fucked up big time here, and then proceeded to play “Top This” with himself over and over again.
If you want to help those affected by the Maui wildfires, here is a list of organizations to consider, as well as information on Glenn Beck’s charitable endeavors on that front. And give generously as you can because it’s clear Puddin’ Head Joe can’t be bothered to stay off vacation for more than a day to help.
To say California is the epicenter of batshit crazy is an understatement of Michael Moore sumo wrestling Rosie O’Donnell proportions, but there are still some times when I have to say, “No fucking duh!” This week, the San Francisco Chronicle reported due to “safety concerns” employees of the Nancy Pelosi Federal Building were advised to work from home.
No fucking duh!
Once one of the shining cities of the West Coast, San Francisco is starting to look like a crack whore once you sober up, only with more shit. What caused the downfall of the backdrop of many a “Full House” episode? I’m glad you asked!
What the Left thinks it means – a beautiful progressive city that exemplifies the best of Leftist causes
What it really means – a literal shithole that exemplifies the best of Leftist causes
If you really want to know the history of San Francisco prior to going further into this week’s Lexicon, here’s the Wikipedia entry. And try not to giggle too hard at the “commercial, financial, and cultural center” part.
Meanwhile back at 2023, San Francisco is not doing so hot. Depending on who you ask, crime is either a serious concern or not nearly as bad as some would lead us to believe. At one point, drug overdoses more than doubled COVID deaths in 2020. There were 7750 homeless people of various backgrounds as of 2022 in a city of 715,717, or for you mathheads out there, a little over 1% of the population.
But if you look at the chart in the previous link, you will notice San Francisco’s population has been declining since 2020. Which, of course, is Donald Trump’s fault…
Or it might be who the voters put into office. Nahhhhh!
Seriously, for all of the cultural diversity San Francisco is known for, this doesn’t appear to translate to ideological matters. After all, two of the favorite Leftist institutions of higher learning, Stanford and UC Berkeley, are housed in the Bay Area. And considering some of the graduates of said campuses, maybe they should be considered institutions, if you know what I mean.
And speaking of insanity, there are two elements that have made San Francisco (and California in general) into Thunderdome with more rainbow flags. We start with Proposition 47, an initiative to reduce penalties for non-violent crimes like shoplifting from possible felonies to misdemeanors. And, of course, this proposal passed because…reasons. Although Proposition 47 didn’t decriminalize shoplifting, it did act as a deterrent for police officers to investigate such crimes and for attorneys to prosecute them.
Then, there’s the second element: store employees trying to stop shoplifters are the ones who could be getting in trouble, thanks to the California Senate. Seems they passed a bill that would prohibit store employees from stopping shoplifters. And Leftists wonder why companies are pulling out of San Francisco?
Well, to put it simply for the Leftists, it’s your fucking fault this is happening. Not only are you creating an environment where you’d have to be insane to try to set up shop in San Francisco, but you’re disincentivizing companies to stay there. And what do you think will happen if those who generate income (i.e. a tax base) decide to pack up and go to greener pastures? Here’s a hint, kids: it doesn’t get better from here. And nothing the idiot used car salesman you elected Governor can say or do will fix that.
And that shitstain criticizes how Ron DeSantis governs in Florida? And he wants to run for President so he can bring his Leftist incompetence to the nation?
Sorry, Leftists. I’ll pass.
The sad thing is Leftists actually think San Francisco is a utopia, and they’re right. It’s just the utopia they see doesn’t involve going anywhere near where the problems are. Say what you will about Leftists, and believe me I do, but they are exceptional at living in more protective bubbles than John Travolta. (And if you got that reference, I thank you.) As long as they’re doing well, that’s all that matters.
But there’s a problem with that. Once the non-Leftists realize they outnumber the Leftists and get pissed off enough to do something about it, they tend to revolt. And I’m not talking about the pussy-ass Portland CHAD/CHOP bullshit, either. I’m talking French Revolution. The only thing stopping Reign of Terror 2: Electric Boogaloo is the Left keeps promising free stuff to the less fortunate to keep them docile and voting Democrat. And considering the last Republican mayor left office in 1964, it seems to be working.
However, Atlas is starting to shrug because there is only so much a population can take before they start looking for new leadership. Even as blue as the Bay Area was in 2020, turning it into Calcutta East isn’t a winning strategy, and you can’t keep offering free stuff while forcing businesses to keep items locked up due to shoplifting. The breaking point is coming, maybe not now or in 2024, but it is coming. And when Atlas finally shrugs, the people ignoring the problem right now are going to be the ones overwhelmed and needing help.
Until that happens, avoid San Francisco if at all possible, but also keep an eye on your own cities. For better or for definitely the worst, what happens in California tends to take hold in the rest of the country sooner or later. The only way to stop this insanity is to make sure it never takes hold. Easier said than done, I know, but if you arm yourselves with the facts, you can spot the San Francisco freak…I mean treat long before it hits Main Street.
And if that fails, invest heavily in hip waders because you’re gonna need ’em to navigate Brown Street, if you know what I mean…