I take a week off and the shit hits the fan. Guess that means I’d better keep churning these babies out weekly from here on out!
The news of the week centered around one man, Jeffrey Epstein. More to the point, it was centered around who he knew and what these people knew about the deceased piece of dog shit. (No offense to canine excrement.) President Donald Trump promised to release the Epstein Files, then took it back, then put it back on the table, and has now signed the Epstein Files Transparency Act ordering the Attorney General and Department of Justice to make as much of the documentation available to the public without jeopardizing the victims or any ongoing investigations.
After all the Left’s grandstanding about it, you would think they’d be happy about it. And you’d be wrong.
As much as I hate to delve into this toxic landfill of shitty people (and Jeffrey Epstein), I have to dip my toe into it. And I promise to make it not hurt that much.
Jeffrey Epstein
What the Left thinks it means – a notorious pedophile with ties to Republicans
What the Right thinks it means – a notorious pedophile with ties to Democrats
What it really means – a notorious pedophile being used as a political football to hide a much larger issue
If it wasn’t clear from my opening, I think Jeffrey Epstein was not even a passable human being, let alone good. What he was convicted of doing and suspected of doing to young girls and women is reprehensible, and anyone who even exchanged emails or text messages with him gets my side-eye.
So, why are so many Democrats and Republicans connected to him? Because he had leverage.
Politics and wealth go hand in hand more than anti-Tesla protesters making a human chain stuck together with Super Glue and industrial strength duct tape. The well-heeled and the well-dressed have walked the halls of power for as long as I’ve been alive, but it wasn’t always so blatant. Back in the old days, if you wanted to buy a politicians you had the common decency to do it under the table. Well, since that option isn’t available because of all the prostitutes doing their business under said table, it’s more overt.
That’s where Jeffrey Epstein comes into play. By being wealthy, he caught the eye of a lot of politicians on both sides of the aisle. As time went on, he amassed a lot of friends…and information that he could use as a bargaining chip to sway opinions in his favor. Money is a universal language, and Epstein was a master linguist.
But remember he played with both sides, if you’ll pardon the expression, which made him useful to both sides, if only to satisfy mutual carnal sins. This is why the Left and the Right are desperately trying to push him onto the other side. With that much infamy, Epstein becomes the proverbial millstone around the necks of the party faithful in Washington, DC.
Even with that Bizarro World tug-o-war going on, we’re starting to get a glimpse into just how deep the corruption goes in the world of the rich and powerful.
And Robin Leach didn’t prepare us for any of this shit!
It’s one thing to buy off politicians, which is done with the frequency of Jasmine Crockett saying something stupid. It’s another thing to ply them with the kind of sick shit Epstein did. And then to have people so connected in politics, tech, business, and media be involved? It’s enough to break the system, nuke it from orbit (it’s the only way to be sure), burn the remains, and shoot it into the heart of the Sun.
And you know what? I’m good with that.
It was Epstein’s death that started a domino effect where the curtain got thrown open and we got to see just what the powerful do when nobody outside of their sick clique is watching. And the fact many of these cretins get to act like they’re above the rest of us while they engage in shit Caligula would say, “Whoa! Throttle back on the perversion, kids!” You know, if he weren’t dead and all.
As sickening as what we know happened is, we’re still not sure of the extent of it, and I’m not sure anybody in government wants us to find out. After all, there are a lot of DC denizens who made their way to Epstein Island for fantasies Mr. Roarke and Tattoo could never provide. At least not without rezoning the entire island.
Of course, the lack of hard facts with regards to the Epstein files is exactly what those in power want if only to hide their sins a little longer until they can no longer hide. Then, we’ll see a whole lotta mea culpas feigning ignorance as well as contrition. They won’t be sorry for what they did; they’ll be sorry they got caught, and that’s not gonna work for me, kids. What these men and women did under the veil of secrecy should be exposed and all legal avenues to sue them into oblivion should be implemented.
That means the party’s over, scumbags.
And speaking of scumbags, let’s talk about the politicians for a minute. Those who committed crimes against young girls and women should be expelled from office, don’t care which party they represent. Kick them out, make them lawyer up, and watch them get taken to the cleaners.
Now, for the rest of Congress. You’re playing political games with the lives of people who were truly innocent victims here. It’s a little late to start caring about them now, especially after you’ve done everything you can to discredit or diminish what steps are being taken. Democrats, you can claim Trump is going to order the Epstein Files be redacted so much stock in black Sharpie pens is going to skyrocket, but we don’t know that yet. What we do know is you gave zero fucks about this situation until you could pin it on Trump. Your “Party of Women” card has been declined. Take all the fucking seats.
And as for Republicans, you gave zero fucks about this until it could be pinned on Bill Clinton. Granted, Bill being a horndog at any given time is a sure thing, but you don’t get a pass for not fighting for the Epstein Files to be released on Day 1 of Trump’s first Presidency. You didn’t help, either, so take all the fucking seats, too. And try not to sit next to the Democrats. They’re a little touchy about being on a known pedophile’s speed dial.
And having him at fundraisers.
And having ties to one of the most popular Democrat Presidents ever.
And, you know, just generally being bitchy most of the time.
Regardless, I will not speak ill of the dead any more than I have here. Jeffrey Epstein is gone and the world is better for it. Now, comes the healing and what I hope will be a course correction on the moral side.
His victims deserve it.
Tag: democrats
New Sedition
Sometimes I look at what Democrats do and say “I can see where that makes sense.” Most of the time I shake my heads and say “What in the wide world of fuck are you doing?” Today is one of those times.
It started with a video put out by former military and intelligence folks currently serving in Congress. Their message was clear: enlisted military have no obligation to obey unlawful orders. Seems harmless enough, right?
Wellllll…this is where things get messy.
As a personal aside, I will admit my knowledge of military justice is as limited as the range on Nerf gun. Therefore, I am going off my understanding of the Uniform Code of Military Justice and welcome any corrections, words of encouragement, and rotten produce you are willing to send my way.
The aforementioned UCMJ is designed to deal with legal matters within the military so that they can be dealt with in a way that doesn’t disrupt their duties. Which is killing the enemy and/or breaking their shit while at the same time making sure the same doesn’t happen to us.
Anyway, there are provisions within the UCMJ dealing with unlawful orders, namely military personnel don’t have to follow them. And that’s what the Democrats in the video are expressing, so there’s no real harm, right?
That’s where the wonderful world of sedition comes into play. Our good friends at Merriam-Webster define sedition thus:
incitement of resistance to or insurrection against lawful authority
Our laws go into greater detail, but you get the drift. Sedition is a big no-no, which I would hope former military and intelligence personnel now serving in Congress understand. Then, President Trump entered the chat and accused the Democrats in the video of seditious acts. He even went so far as to say the punishment for sedition is death.
Unfortunately for him, he got it wrong. The actual punishment is possible fines and imprisonment, so there’s that. But is he wrong about the video being seditious?
Wellllll…he kinda is. The Democrats’ defense on this is they were just reminding our military they can refuse to obey unlawful orders, which tracks. But then I started wondering why now. This message is the kind of shit military personnel get drilled into their skulls during basic training. From a military/tactical standpoint, there’s nothing objectionable in reinforcing basic knowledge. Legally, the Democrats in the video are in the clear, too.
From a political standpoint, though, that’s where there may be a case for sedition. The President has taken actions many on the Left find objectionable, from sending in the National Guard to police city streets or making drug running boats into the world’s most expensive and addictive flotsam. This latter example is the one the Left seems fixated on at the moment, with some on the Left calling it murder.
As you might expect, the UCMJ kinda frowns on murder, so to float the idea that what the military is doing to drug runners is murder might weigh heavily on the heads and hearts of those brave men and women. (Still two genders, kids!) With what they endure on a daily basis, it’s only a matter of time before someone cracks and decides to defy the chain of command by refusing a direct order he or she believes to be illegal.
That little seed of doubt is all it takes for our military to weaken just enough to break. Unlike in the world outside the military, order is what keeps things moving. It is the first, last, and only line of defense against a fully dysfunctional family feud with heavy artillery.
And these Democrats who served our country know that, or at least should know that.
That’s where I think the sedition charge sticks, if it even sticks at all. Politicians are known for being slicker than a non-stick pan covered in baby oil, and since this is more of a political line of attack, there’s a good chance they are relatively safe legally.
That’s not to say I condone what these six Congresscritters did in the name of politics. When pressed to give examples of illegal acts, these motherfuckers sputter more than Speed Buggy. Instead, they mention they’ve talked to military personnel who just so happen to say what the Left’s narrative is at the moment. Pretty convenient, I’d say.
You know, if I was a complete dipshit.
The video wraps deception in an American flag and tries to pretend it’s just a friendly reminder when it has the potential to be a bunker buster to the heart of the world’s most powerful military. I’d say they should be ashamed of themselves, but I’m not sure there’s an ounce of shame among them.
And if I may be so bold, I want to give the President some advice here. First, stay off social media before you fact check what you’re going to say. No filter works great, but not when it comes to proclaiming a punishment that is more severe than it legally is.
Second, let’s try some alternative thinking here. Don’t charge these assholes with sedition. Instead, charge them with something else and make the punishment having them pull KP duty until the Rapture.
Leftist Lexicon Word of the Week
It’s fall again! Time for white women to gather at Starbucks for Pumpkin Spice lattes, men to take over the biggest TV in their homes to watch football every weekend, and for Congress to fuck up one of the only jobs it has: keeping the doors open.
Yes, I know I’ve talked about this recently and in the past, but it seems every year or so, we have to go through this bizarre Kabuki theater where one party claims the other one is shutting down government because they’re big meany-heads, and the other is claiming the first party is wasting money on stupid shit and is holding their collective breaths to get what they want.
And every time it happens, it’s Republicans’ fault.
So, how exactly are we keeping the government running, or more precisely, limping along like a dry snail? Through Continuing Resolutions, of course! And what are they exactly?
Nothing good.
Continuing Resolutions
What the Left thinks it means – a way to keep the government running because Republicans don’t want to negotiate
What the Right thinks it means – a way to keep the government running because Democrats don’t want to negotiate
What it really means – a way for both major parties to keep spending without having to w0rry about passing an actual budget
Back in the good old days when men were men and women were men and everybody was really confused, Congress would get together to hammer out what they wanted to spend on what. After they agreed, they sent the final proposal to the President, who lent his John Hancock to the bill and it became law. Of course, John Hancock was never President because I’m guessing his peers were afraid his signature would take up most of the page.
That changed in the late 20th and early 21st Century when Congress realized it didn’t need to pass a budget to spend money; they could just do it. Then, the spend-a-palooza began. Although it kept the government from shutting down (which is like saying your least favorite gynecologist isn’t retiring anytime soon, only much more invasive), it started a trend where Congress could forego budget battles in favor of…well, Continuing Resolution battles.
And what it turned into since then was giving a coke fiend a credit card to buy cocaine, then use the card to cut the cocaine into lines and snort them. Not that I know anything about that, mind you…
Anyway, the point is Congress got to do two of its favorite things to do: spend money, and bitch about how the other party is being unreasonable, but we’re the ones stuck with the tab at the end of the coke binge…I mean night.
The insidious part of all this is it’s perfectly within the duties of Congress as laid out in the Constitution. Article I Section 8 gives Congress the power to spend money. It doesn’t say how that money has to be spent, nor does it require a budget of any kind. As smart as they were, the Founding Fathers never envisioned a time when politicians would be as ruthlessly devious as they are today. Back then, they had these things called honors, morals, and accountability to those who put them in power. Much to their credit, they knew the fallibility of human nature and tried to safeguard us from excess where they could.
Then, we had to go and elect assholes to fuck up that shit.
The best way I can describe the difference between a budget and a Continuing Resolution is this. When somebody sits down and creates a budget, it’s meant to be a guideline to follow and find areas where expenses can be cut or revenue opportunities arise. A Continuing Resolution is more like a payday loan place. They don’t care how you spend the money as long as you pay it back with interest higher than the GDP of every first world country combined.
And that’s if the payday loan place likes you!
Meanwhile back in Washington, Continuing Resolutions has made it possible for Congress to keep kicking the can down the road without ever having to deal with the consequences. Namely, having to keep to a budget. This leads to overspending on stupid shit, like…oh I don’t know…funding health care for illegal immigrants. But I’m sure there are no Congresscritters so fucking dumb as to do that…oh, wait…
And that’s one of the biggest problems with the Continuing Resolution practice: the entire process can get derailed by partisan bullshit. I know! I’m shocked that politics is involved in what should be a non-political action, too!
As much as I like to see government get slashed like it went through an abattoir, I also understand there are human beings affected by the political posturing. No matter what gets funded while the two major parties squander what little money we actually have, someone will always get fucked in the end. And not in the fun way with lube, dim lights, and romantic music. Not that I know anything about that, mind you…
And the worst, yet unfortunately predictable, part? None of these motherfuckers care. No matter who gets hurt, the Left and the Right will continue to battle over trifles that don’t benefit most Americans, but will line their pockets with cash from donors.
The only way to break the cycle is to admit we have a problem. Well, more than one problem, but you get the idea. Continuing Resolutions should be the exception and not the rule. They should be used only in emergencies, not because one of the parties wants to spend money on a particular matter like saving PBS or funding more ICE agents. We need to do a better job at tightening our federal belts instead of going to the tailor to get the waistline taken out a little. And by a little I mean a lot.
One idea that I’m quite fond of is a balanced budget amendment. Not only would it require Congress to pass a budget, but it would have to be one that actually balances.
Yes, Congresscritters, that means you are going to have to give up some of your toys so we can serve the greater good.
The only drawback I see to this is the same kind of dishonest accounting that got Arthur Andersen in trouble, but continues to drive the Continuing Resolution train. When dishonest people have the power to spend money, they will always find a way to fudge the numbers so much you’d think the accounting firm is out of Hershey, Pennsylvania.
That’s where a new and improved DOGE comes into play. To ensure the budget is actually balanced, there have to be actual cuts, not just reductions to proposed increases. Where there’s waste, cut it. Where there’s redundancy, consolidate it with a department or agency where it makes sense. We don’t need 14 different divisions under 50 different agencies doing the same damn thing.
And here’s the key. The cuts must be enacted and approved by the beginning of the new fiscal year. If Congresscritters have time to do stupid selfies or host podcasts, they sure as shit have the time to do their jobs.
Along with this, I have a similar proposal, that being making the bills as small as possible. No more riders that have nothing to do with the bill itself. No more 1200 page bills released at the 11th hour and filled with so much pork Jewish and Muslim politicians have to avoid them. If you have a spending bill, make it easy for people to see what’s in it and voice their opinions.
Of course, none of this will get done because there’s too much riding on the Left and the Right maintaining the status quo. (Status quo is Latin for “same shit, different day.”) Why would Congress give up the absolute power to spend whatever it wants without having to worry about where the money comes from? We’re more likely to get a good Michael Bay movie before we get any significant change on the Continuing Resolution front.
At least the government gets shut down for a while, so there’s that. Yay, I guess?
Leftist Lexicon Word of the Week – Mail Bag Edition
Since there was nothing that struck my as particularly newsworthy or that I haven’t already mocked into next century, I thought I’d take a look inside the old Leftist Lexicon Mail Bag (as opposed to looking inside the Leftist Lexicon Male Bag, which would be rather painful). After all, I love getting all sorts of messages from my tens and tens of fans!
So, with no further ado (or adon’t), let’s dive right in!
Hi, Thomas. I’m a new reader and I want to know more about how you define a Leftist. Any insight would be greatly appreciated!
Of course! My definition of a Leftist is someone who thinks the government is the end all and be all of problem solving. And this isn’t just a Democrat thing, either. There were and are a lot of Republicans who I would call Leftist because they’re just as keen on big government as many Democrats are, even while complaining about government overreach when they’re not in power. As a small government kind of guy, I hate two-faced weasels like this.
What is your opinion of President Donald Trump?
Trump has always been a mixed bag for me. When he’s done or advocated for things that make sense, like DOGE or trying to broker peace between Russia and Ukraine, I’ve given him his due. When he’s done or advocated for things that don’t make sense, like his flip-flops on the Epstein files and his pussyfooting around with China, I’ve shaken my head in a “what in the Wide World of Fuck are you doing” kind of way. He’s not the man I’d want near the nuclear button, but he’s light years ahead of Queen Kamala the Appointed and President Brick Tamland.
And, yes, I realize that’s not a high bar to cross.
Democrats keep finding themselves on the wrong end of 80/20 issues lately. Why is that?
It’s complicated, but I’ll try to break it down.
Democrats have been on the defensive for the past few years due to a number of factors ranging from them overplaying their hands during COVID to just being absolutely tone-deaf when it comes to bread and butter issues. That, and they’re reflexively against anything President Trump supports, which puts them in a bind because he is a master of finding the pulse of the country and staking his claim on the side Americans want most. Whether he actually means it…well, that’s a different story altogether.
I know you’re against lawfare and weaponizing the federal government, so why haven’t you spoken out against Trump doing that, you MAGA asshole?
First off, I’m not MAGA, and never have been. It’s a catchy slogan, but it doesn’t give me a framework to build upon. What I think needs to happen to make America great is going to be vastly different than what someone else thinks needs to happen. Same goal, different approach.
Second, I am still firmly against the use of the legal system and the federal government to extract revenge on anyone. That’s just a jump to the left and then a step to the riiiiiight towards creating a perpetual cycle of courts and bureaucrats fucking over people they don’t like. And if you think Trump was going to let shit like what you did to him slide, you are a dumb motherfucker. Trump is petty personified. I tried to warn you, but you didn’t listen and now…enjoy the monster you created.
There’s a lot of tension between people these days. How do you think we can bridge the gap and unite again?
That’s an easy one to say, but harder to make real.
We have to get to a point where we see past our differences and focus on our common beliefs. I have a lot of friends from a wide swath of ideological beliefs, but I don’t let that stop me from being their friends. Only when lines get crossed do I cut ties, but most of the time nothing that someone says or believes is enough to make me stop liking them. Once most people start thinking like this, then we’ll see a societal shift towards unity.
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I’ll respond to this one privately. Moving on…
Hey MAGAt! How does it feel knowing you’re sucking on tRump’s cock as he leads us to a fascist future?
I had a similar conversation with an acquaintance recently. She saw herself as a member of the resistance fighting against the Nazis, a la the French Resistance, but I had to remind her she was cosplaying as a resistance fighter. No matter how much you hate Trump, you’d have a hard time selling me on the idea we’re either currently fascist or heading that way because…you’re still allowed to protest without fear of being prosecuted, persecuted, or a fuck-ton worse. Trump isn’t Hitler, and it’s time you get that through your pointy heads.
What are your preferred pronouns?
I don’t have any. I love all pronouns equally.
Who are your influences, political or otherwise?
When it comes to political influences, I lean into Ayn Rand, Ronald Reagan, and Daniel Patrick Moynihan. The latter two are because of when I started becoming politically aware and Rand because I could see where she was coming from and it made sense to me. Plus, all three championed being independent, even when the rest of the country didn’t agree. Being the sole person standing up for what’s right doesn’t make it the wrong thing because of the number of people saying it’s wrong.
Comedically, I draw a lot of influence from people like P. J. O’Rouke, Dennis Miller (even when he was more Left-leaning than he is today), George Carlin, Mark Twain, and Monty Python. Add the Zucker brothers to that mix, and you have me in a nutshell.
How do you deal with the insanity of the world today?
I try to match the world’s insanity, but try to make it humorous. Human beings have an amazing ability to make anything infinitely more complicated while assuming it’s a snap to do. If you let that kind of shit get to you, you’re going to be angry, frustrated, and may ultimately do something drastic, like becoming a Minnesota Vikings fan. (And I say that as a Vikings fan, no less!) The only way to get through life today is to find the funny and beautiful in life.
Failing that, there’s always booze.
What do you think is the biggest issue in America right now?
For me, it’s people comfortable with a lack of responsibility when they do shitty things. As much as the Left love to say “No one is above the law” there are a lot of people who seem to be above the law, and they tend to be on the Left. And until we get to see a bunch of people on both sides of the political slime trail frog-marched, tried, convicted, and sentenced appropriately for the crimes they commit, it’s not going to stick. And until we demand it, we’re not going to see it anytime soon.
You’re a fat fuck! Why don’t you lose weight?
I don’t know. Maybe I got scared off by Jim Fixx dying while jogging.
You call yourself a “recovering Leftist.” If you disagree with them so much, why do you still have a link to them?
The nature of Leftist ideology requires a level of deep commitment that one cannot completely detach from quickly. It’s very much like a cult, and it has been for a long time. But if the WalkAway Movement has shown, it’s possible to escape the Leftist hivemind and live a happier, more genuine life. Yet, even though I like the Left as much as I like genital herpes (not that I know anything about that, mind you), there are times when they are on the right side of an issue, even if it’s for completely different reasons than mine. My nature is to be honest, and when Leftists are right about something, I call it out.
It may be more rare than how Dracula likes his hamburgers, but I still do it.
I don’t know who you are. I don’t know what you want. If you are looking for ransom, I can tell you I don’t have money. But what I do have are a very particular set of skills, skills I have acquired over a very long career. Skills that make me a nightmare for people like you.
And on that note, let’s close the mail bag for a while. Like a few centuries.
The War of 8020
One of the most attractive elements of Leftist thought is how they take up for the underdogs. Even when it seems impossible, Leftists will side with the less fortunate in their attempts to defeat The Man. But I never would have thought they would actively try to become the underdogs.
It’s hard for me to pinpoint exactly when Leftists went nuttier than squirrel shit, but it was between the 2022 midterms and the 2024 Presidential election, probably when they realized Donald Trump was not only going to be the Republican nominee, but that he had a good chance of defeating President Brick Tamland. To be fair, a cardboard cut-out of Trump could have beaten the President and been far more articulate in doing so, but the point is the same. Somehow Trump broke the Left to the point they would protest breathing if Trump said, “I love oxygen. Oxygen is the greatest thing.”
And I know you read that in his voice.
Regardless of what the sensible action would be, Leftists have decided to take the under in almost every hot button issue today. When it comes to trans women in biological female spaces, they went with the trans women, no matter how creepy they were. Illegal immigrants who just happened to be connected to gangs? They sided with the illegal gang members. Government waste? Pile it on, buddy!
Spoiler Alert: It’s shit like this that cost you the 2024 Presidential election.
Many people have attempted to figure out why the Left takes the losing side of issues lately with various conclusions, ranging from not wanting to give Trump a W to Leftists being utter dumbasses. And to be honest I keep going back and forth between these two extremes (although they’re probably both right). Personally, I think it’s because of how partisan the country is right now.
Not that long ago, Democrats and Republicans could disagree on how things got done, but could find common ground on issues that would benefit the entire country, like defeating the Soviet Union. Once the Soviets fell, we no longer had an outward enemy, so we turned our sights inward and found new enemies. Since then, we got consumed by the Left and the Right fighting like the US and Soviets, only without the possibility of Mutually Assured Destruction.
Nowadays, MAD would be getting off easy. With the rise of Internet and social media culture, both sides are looking for ways to “own” the other side. And this is one reason Trump is so popular among the Right: he is a master of owning the Left. The problem for the Left is they don’t have anybody who can do the same to the Right. Oh, they think they have people, but they suck at it, and if they’re being honest with themselves (which is a stretch, I know), they would admit it.
Since they can’t due to not wanting to give even a micron to Trump, they’re stuck being the party of Jesse Helms, who was notorious for often being the sole “No” vote on bills. Oh, and being racist pricks.
Hence, the reason Leftists are running for every unpopular position with the American people. (The not wanting to give Trump even a micron bit, not the being racist pricks bit.) As a result, Democrats are getting as popular as STDs in a brothel. So, how are they trying to right…or left the ship?
Swearing a lot more.
And I’m not even fucking kidding.
As someone who occasionally peppers his posts with adult language, I can appreciate a good cuss word and, when done correctly, it can add impact to a statement. The way the Left has been doing it, though, is like seeing your grandma curse: it’s unexpected and even a little off-putting. Even when some of the more junior members of Congress do it, it doesn’t feel natural to me. If anything, it feels more like a political calculation that came out of a focus group rather than any genuine emotion.
And what’s worse than the potty mouths on the Left is the fact they keep doubling, tripling, and quadrupling down on their unpopular positions because…well, I’m still trying to figure that out. One thing that comes to mind is the Left’s desire to be on “the right side of history.” As noble as that sounds, it’s bullshit that falls apart under its own weight when balanced with another saying, “History is written by the victors.” For the Left’s version of history to be the right one, they have to win.
Granted, with some issues like civil rights and gay marriage, they ultimately won, but only after a prolonged struggle where public opinion shifted to adopt the Left’s position. In a world of TikTok and entitlement, though, that window shrinks significantly leaving only two options: shame the opposition into supporting the cause, or abandoning it when it gets nowhere.
Take the recent kerfluffle over the Equal Rights Amendment caused when President Brick Tamland and Vice President Kamala the Appointed tried to get it “ratified” by saying “it’s ratified.” All it took for the Left to adopt the squawking point was for the aforementioned political figureheads to put it out there. Of course, these same idiots didn’t bother to bring it up for the decades since the ERA failed to be ratified through the existing process. If it were such an important issue, the Left would have made it a cornerstone issue. And it’s not like they haven’t had control of Congress and the White House since the 80s. They had their chance, and they decided it wasn’t important enough to fight for.
So, ladies, how do you feel about voting for Leftists now?
This is going to be a major problem for Leftists going forward. The more they let themselves get played into supporting causes on the losing end of the polls just to spite Trump, the more potential voters they’re going to give away, and no amount of demanding those voters support Leftist candidates because reasons is going to change that. At some point, the political leadership will have to set aside their swearing and figure this out or else it’s going to be the year 8020 before they get a whiff of the White House again.
Not that I have a problem with that, mind you…
Leftist Lexicon Word of the Week
In my years of being a Leftist and covering them, there is one rock-solid, take-it-to-the-bank statement that not even the most honest Leftists can deny: Leftists say some really weird shit. And I’m not just talking about prolonged discussions on the virtues of Drag Queen Story Hours or the actual number of genders (still two, by the way). Even when I’m prepared for the weird shit, there are times when even I have to take a step back and admire the nuttier-than-squirrel-shit take.
Like this one from The Hill website, “Are the Democrats Now the Party of Reagan?” Although the premise is as absurd as the media allowing a major party candidate to go unquestioned for more than a few minutes, let alone weeks (good thing that never happens, amirite?), it did get me to thinking. Which lead me to writing this week’s Lexicon, since that’s kinda what I do around here.
the party of Reagan
What the Left thinks it means – a by-gone era that should stay in the past because it was so horrible, except when it can be used to attract voters
What it really means – a by-gone era that the Left still doesn’t understand
The 1980s were a decade of dayglo oddities. The old excesses of the late 70s continued (including the coke habits) while new technologies started to take hold. Celebrities rose and empires fell. And at the core of it all was Ronald Reagan.
Say what you will about the man, but Ronald Reagan was a generational President in both good and bad ways. His strength when dealing with the former Soviet Union, his economic policies, and his undying love of America held us in good stead during a time when America’s self-opinion was lower than a snake’s codpiece. Yet, the way he handled Iran/Contra, his mental decline in his later years, and some of the policy decisions he made with AIDS and apartheid in South Africa were less than awesome.
In short, Reagan was just like the rest of us. Only with more access to the nuclear arsenal.
The Left’s hatred of the Reagan era stemmed from their unrequited love of the former Soviet Union. After decades of appeasing the Soviets, Reagan became an aggressor because he realized what the super-smart Leftists (just ask them) didn’t: communism doesn’t work. At some point, the communists run out of other people’s money, which creates either massive deficit spending, a greater reliance on those who are already carrying the bulk of the weight, or a combination of the two.
There’s that economics degree Reagan earned coming into play.
Once the Soviet Union went the way of the Atari 2600 “E.T.” video game, the Left’s hatred of Reagan intensified. Sure, they had other legit and semi-legit criticisms as noted above, but he proved them wrong. Appeasing the Soviets only allowed them to continue stockpiling weapons, making plans to conquer the rest of the world, and putting out shitty products under the auspices of everyone being equal (except for the party leaders, of course). Leftists at the time swore up and down Reagan would lead us into World War III, create a nuclear holocaust, and destroy the planet.
You know, like Leftists said Donald Trump would do?
When that didn’t happen, Leftists couldn’t handle it. And since they were the ones writing the history books at the time, they did their best to control the narrative. Once the Berlin Wall fell, though, they couldn’t get it done with those who actually lived and paid attention during that time. So, Leftists decided to wait a generation or two to get their version of events to become the primary timeline.
Which brings us to the party of Reagan. As much as I would like to say today’s Republican Party is an offshoot of the Reagan years, I can’t. Both major parties shed their skins some time ago and evolved into parties that no longer resemble their namesakes. Democrats and Republicans are both fans of big government at times, but only when they’re running it. And they’re not afraid to use force to get what they want. Remember the COVID lockdowns? President Trump and President Brick Tamland didn’t deviate that much policywise. Of course, much of that can be laid the feet of Saint Anthony of Fauci’s fault, Patron Saint of Scientific Bullshit, but both Trump and Tamland were reading from the same script.
Furthermore, the Republican “leadership” is as flaky as a croissant at times. Sure, they talk a great game about fiscal responsibility and conservative values, but they will sell those out in the name of compromising with people who think they’re the most evil people on the planet. And it happens time after time after time.
And the Democrats? They’re selling out to the lunatic fringe at every opportunity. From the Green New Boondoggle to the anti-Israel sentiment from The Squad, the Left has gone so far left Karl Marx looks like Milton Friedman, both in ideology and in economic knowledge. Today’s Left is turning off a lot more people than they’re attracting, or at the very least they’re turning off enough Leftists with actual jobs and money. This makes for an interesting internal civil war for the soul of the Left, and hopefully an even more interesting blog post later.
Meanwhile, it amazes me anybody with two brain cells to rub together would think Democrats are now the party of Reagan. Then again, this is an opinion writer from The Hill, so your intellectual mileage may vary. The way the author makes it sound, Republicans have abandoned the principles Reagan laid out, which they have for the most part. But he fails to make the connection that Democrats have taken up the mantle. The best he comes up with is Democrats’ undying support for Ukraine (which reflects not only a lack of understanding of Reagan’s foreign policy , but a fundamental lack of understanding of just how fucked up Ukraine’s leadership is).
His case isn’t exactly bolstered by self-professed Reaganites like Bill Kristol, Adam Kinslinger, and Liz Cheney, whose conservative bonafides are more questionable than three day old convenience store sushi. Or a freshly-made meal at Chipotle, for that matter. While the aforementioned Republicans (and many more like them who will remain nameless to protect the innocent and the dumbasses) tout how much closer they are to Reagan than any of the current crop of Republicans, the fact is they’re closer to Regan from “The Exorcist” than Reagan himself.
So, if the Republicans aren’t the party of Reagan anymore and the Democrats never have been and never will be if the current crop of fuckups have any say in the matter, who is the party of Reagan today? Unfortunately, there is no party that has it even remotely right. Either the fiscal policies are out of whack or the social and military policies are off, so there’s no real safe haven for those of us who have a fond memory of what Reagan stood for. So, we’re stuck either holding our noses for candidates who Reagan wouldn’t even acknowledge as Republicans, voting for a third party because we can’t hold our nose enough to vote for Republicans, or writing in candidates like your humble correspondent.
By the way, SMOD 24, baby!
Maybe it’s time we should stop thinking in terms of Reagan as far as political leadership is concerned, but not in terms of the grassroots. Even if our elected officials don’t hold Reagan in high esteem, we still can. American pride, appreciation of hard work, a love of the free market, all these things and much more are still within our power to use in our lives.
Plus, it will piss off Leftists, so win-win, baby!
Scenes From a Midterm – 2022 Edition
After what seemed to be an eternity, the 2022 midterm elections have come and gone. Joe Biden saw his shadow, which means only six more weeks until the 2024 Presidential elections get underway.
Since everyone else is offering their hot, warm, tepid, and cold takes on the midterm elections, I figure I’d throw my two cents in there because I’m an unoriginal bastard. Anyway, here’s what I saw.
Neither major party seemed motivated to win. Oh, sure, Democrats and Republicans gave the impression they were in it to win it, but the feeling I got was they didn’t have their hearts (or their donors’ hearts) in it this year. When you look back at the political ads, and I did because I have no real life, they were…lazy. Republicans talked about the Biden economy and wanting to fight inflation (without any clear plans on how to do it aside from “cutting spending”) and Democrats talked about abortion, health care, and education (without any clear plans on what to do with them aside from “Republicans bad”). Oh, I heard so many uses of the word “extreme” I could have sworn we fell through a wormhole and landed back in the 1990s. Way to get out the vote, kids!
Nevada and Arizona still can’t get their shit together. As of this blog post (please check local listings for temporal references near you), both Nevada and Arizona are still counting ballots. Given the elderly population in Arizona, I can understand delays, but I refuse to believe a state where gambling and prostitution are cottage industries are having this much trouble with numbers. Something is up, and I think it’s time we take a long hard look at what these states are doing and figure out how they’re fucking up this bad.
Both major parties came out as winners, kinda. Sure, Republicans seem to have control of the House of Representatives, barring Nevada and Arizona taking over any other states’ recounts, so that’s a win for the GOP. Democrats will retain control of the Senate and didn’t lose as many House seats as recent history would have us expect, so that’s a win for the Dems. Whether you’re a “red tsunami” or “Vote Blue No Matter Who” backer, you have to feel a little disappointed your team underperformed in the clutch.
Joe Biden’s argument for reelection begins in January 2023. With the legislative branch split, the likelihood of gridlock is greater than the rate of inflation. Which is bad why exactly? Oh, wait, I’m going off topic. Anyway, if Joe Biden wants to make the case for reelection in 2 years (and if he’s even on the ticket then), a divided Congress is an opportunity to actually prove he can reach across the aisle. You know, as he claimed he could do when he ran in 2020? If he can do that, Republicans are going to have a rougher time running against him. And speaking of Republicans…
The GOP is Ron DeSantis’s party now, not Donald Trump’s. When you look at the numbers, most of the candidates Trump endorsed won election (with a couple of notable exceptions that we’ll be talking about later). Beyond that, though, there is a chunk of the Republican Party who would love to get past Trump, and the man who can do just that is Ron DeSantis. His 2024 Presidential aspirations may still be up in the air, but DeSantis has solidified his position as Trump’s heir apparent, but with fewer Twitter tirades and stupid policy and staffing decisions. How do I know? Because the Left has focused their venom on DeSantis more than Trump in recent weeks. Leftists see DeSantis as a threat, which he is, so they’re trying to undercut him as much as they can. You know, like they did with Trump in 2016. How’d that work out for ya?
The Left still obsessively hates Trump. Aside from the repetitive squawking points I mentioned earlier, I noticed a lot of campaign ads for Democrat candidates invoked Donald Trump’s name as a means to paint their opponents as evil mean nasty poopyheads. Here’s a news flash: Trump wasn’t on the ballot anywhere, but he took up so much space in Leftists’ minds he’s opening up a new Trump Casino. Even though they’re adding Ron DeSantis as a target, the Left is still full-blown Brokeback Mountain with Trump.
The Right still can’t get out of its own way. Even though the “red tsunami” was more of a light sprinkle, there was a lot of dumbfuckery afoot that hurt the party as a whole. I mean, a Trump-backed candidate lost to a stroke victim who has more hoodies than Kevin Smith. How does that happen? Herschel Walker didn’t exactly lose, but he’s heading for a runoff against Raphael Warnock, who could have been defeated with a stronger candidate. And if what I’ve been hearing is true, Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell spent tons of money on non-Trump candidates while leaving some Republican candidates out in the cold. I can understand party leaders (and McConnell for that matter) wanting to get past Trump, but the kind of strategy employed in 2022 shows me the Republicans keep stepping on their own dicks and have no intention of stopping, even if it means losing winnable elections.
Beto O’Rourke and Stacey Abrams are still losers. ‘Nuff said.
And with that, there’s nothing more to be said!
A Tale of Two “Traitors”
From the “What the Fuck Took You So Long?” Department, former Representative and current Leftist whipping woman Tulsi Gabbard announced she would be leaving the Democrat Party due to their extreme positions. This, of course, lead Leftists to thoughtfully consider the reasons Gabbard gave for leaving and took some time for personal reflection and introspection.
Just kidding! They lost their shit.
Meanwhile on the other side of the political aisle, Lincoln Project co-founder and batshit crazy Twitter user Steve Schmidt suggested soon-to-be former Representative and current member of the January 6 Debacle…I mean Commission Liz Cheney should run for President in order to put an end to the Make America Great Again movement. Cheney has received the ire of many supporters of President Donald Trump for participating in the January 6 Boondoggle…I mean Commission and for making anti-Trump statements.
And, as expected, many Trump supporters lost their shit.
Aside from the reactions from their respective ideological allies, Gabbard and Cheney share another distinction: they’re being called traitors. As a word guy, I take the term very seriously because it’s an accusation that carries a lot of weight. But right now it’s being tossed around like a football on fall weekends. Unless, of course, the team is more committed to the running game…
Nevertheless, I think we need to take a hard look at how cavalier we’re being with the use of “traitor” to describe politicians who doesn’t conform to what we believe 100%. To put it mildly, it’s a hyperbolic term, the most hyperbolic term of all time! (See what I did there?) Seriously, though, it’s not exactly a word that lends itself to softer interpretations.
Our good friends at Dictionary.com define traitor as follows:
1. a person who betrays another, a cause, or any trust.
2. a person who commits treason by betraying his or her country.
Although both definitions are workable, it’s the second one that people tend to gravitate towards because the definition carries a more significant implication. Not that betraying another person, cause, or trust is necessarily a less serious offense, mind you. But when you think about a traitor, your mind is going to go right towards the betrayal of the country.
And that’s where both the Left and Right lose me. By its very nature, politics is polarizing, even more so these days. We’ve gone from being able to respectfully disagree to coming to blows with anyone whose not 1000% on board with one of the major parties. Although a few families have broken up over political differences, the fact it happened in the first place is shocking to me. When you are willing to disavow your flesh and blood in favor of a politician or an ideology that doesn’t give one-millionth of a shit about you, it’s not the sign of a healthy society.
However, it is one of the signs you’re in a cult. And if you really think about it (and I have because there are only so many shows I can binge on Netflix these days), today’s political environment is cultish, as both Gabbard and Cheney have found out recently. And since they dared to…I can scarcely say the words…think for themselves, the Democult and Republicult have unleashed their anger and more than a few charged words.
But Gabbard and Cheney aren’t traitors to anything but the cults from which they associated, and even then it can be argued in both cases the cults left them. Regardless, calling them traitors throws a millstone around their necks designed to un-person them, making it easier to disregard what they have to say. To the faithful, it’s righteous justice. To the rest of us, it’s bullshit.
And if recent polling data is any indication, it’s political suicide (and not in Minecraft). Although the link I provided shows the data was last gathered in September 2022, it still shows people identify as Independents far more than they identify as Democrats or Republicans. Although the party they lean towards shifts on a regular basis, the fact remains the middle holds more sway than either extreme.
And guess who might just sit out elections by being called traitors.
The growing dissatisfaction with Democrats and Republicans as they are now is fueling a movement of self-reflection and self-determination. There’s a reason #WalkAway was and remains a thing (and why Democrats and Leftists in particular have tried to make it not be a thing). There’s a reason both major parties really don’t want potential voters to reject the two-party mindset: there are more of us than there are of them.
And that scares the absolute shit out of them.
Although I disagree with Tulsi Gabbard and Liz Cheney on various issues, I don’t see them as as any less of an American for it. The strongest patriots aren’t the ones who dig in and won’t be moved, but rather the ones who are willing to reach across ideological divides to find common ground. In other words, to disagree without being disagreeable.
The first major party to realize this will reap electoral benefits beyond their wildest expectations. Given how the Left is nuttier than elephant shit these days, it’s more likely the Right will figure it out and move towards it…provided they’re not as elephant-shit nuts as the Left is.
In the meantime, I make a humble request: save the “traitor” label for those who have betrayed the country, not just an ideology or a political party. If that’s too much of an ask, that’s fine. I won’t think any less of you. I’ll just know not to expect a Christmas card this year.
Why Trump’s Second Impeachment Is Already a Failure
Now that Democrats control both the House and the Senate, you didn’t need to be Nostradamus to see a second impeachment against President Donald Trump would be a foregone conclusion. Leftists and Democrats are overjoyed at the possibility of sticking it to Trump one more time as he leaves the White House because…unity? Anyway, right now the only matter on the table will be how severe the punishment against Trump will be.
No matter what the Left decides is sufficient punishment, the impeachment is already a failure. Oh, sure, they’ll get the votes to convict and to punish, but in their rush to impeach, the Left has overlooked one important detail that renders their efforts as irrelevant as the footnotes in a Vox article.
Donald Trump has zero fucks to give.
Remember, impeachment is a political action, not a legal one. That means the extent of the impact of any impeachment is limited to the political realm. Even if the punishment includes Trump never holding public office again, he’s already served in public office once. Can’t draw a federal pension? Trump might have the money to do without it. No Secret Service protection for the rest of his life? I’m gonna go out on a limb here and say he already has hired security on the payroll. No matter what else the Left wants to tack onto the impeachment in the way of punishment, Trump has it or can have it covered. He may still have issues on the legal side of the equation, but there are no political consequences that will hurt Trump now or ever.
This may open a can of worms, but it begs the question of why the Left is so hot to impeach Trump again even though the punishment won’t affect him. There are a number of possible reasons, but the one I keep coming back to is revenge for winning the Presidency in the first place. I would hope the Left wouldn’t hold a grudge, but considering they still crap on Ronald Reagan, I’m guessing they haven’t gotten past the first stage of grief yet.
What they have done, however, is open a door that can and will swing back to hit them on the backside. As of this writing, Donald Trump is no longer President, which means the Senate element of the impeachment process will be against someone who is now a private citizen. A loud and somewhat boorish private citizen, but a private citizen nonetheless. It’s almost like convicting someone posthumously, except the convict is able to speak and hasn’t voted 43 times in Chicago yet.
Now, let’s play this out a bit. Let’s say Republicans or Trump-allied Republicans win back the House and Senate in 2022. Under the current Leftist strategy, that means Barack Obama can be impeached and punished for any number of crimes, actual or political, as can Bill Clinton, Jimmy Carter, and any number of previous Presidents. Under the current Congressional leadership, impeachments against George W. Bush, George H. W. Bush, and even Ronald Reagan and Gerald Ford could be on the table. We could see Impeach-A-Palooza for the next few years, which will significantly impact the ability of Congress to do its actual job.
Wait. Did I just make an argument in favor of politically posthumous impeachments?
While I try to figure that out, let me leave you with the bottom line here. Leftists and Democrats are so hell-bent on impeaching Donald Trump a second time (even though the first impeachment was legally flimsier than any case argued by Lionel Hutz) while ignoring the boomerang effect that will happen under different political circumstances because that’s what politics is anymore: using any advantage to the party’s benefit. And with some of the dirty players in DC, the taste of short term victory is sweet, but turns sour when someone else plays the long game.
So, I would invest heavily in popcorn shares. I get the feeling there is going to be a big demand for it when the fit hits the shan.