Leftist Lexicon Word of the Week

When Alabama comes up in the news, it’s usually in relation to a citizen doing something insanely stupid. This week, however, the state made the news for something at least somewhat smart.

Which, of course, made Leftists freak out.

Recently, the Alabama Supreme Court ruled frozen embryos are considered children and subject to the same legal protections as other children under the state’s abortion laws. Of course, Leftists started raising all sorts of objections, ranging from the chilling effect (their words, not mine) on In Vitro Fertilization to the ruling being the result of Donald Trump (surprise surprise) to there not being enough oat milk for the Left’s free range Cheerios. And you know how serious they are when they start putting up stupid memes comparing chicken eggs to embryos to show how “stupid” the ruling was.

The concept of when life begins is subject of a lot of debate and all of it surrounds the embryo. Which means we get to talk about it, and by talk I mean you get to read my semi-informed opinions on the subject!

embryo

What the Left thinks it means – a prospective human

What it really means – the formation of a human baby

So, when does life begin? That depends on who you ask. The people who know a thing or two about human physiology will tell you it begins when there is cellular division, which can’t happen without a spark of life. The people who flunked out of human physiology class and became Leftists say life begins once the fetus exits the birth canal. Up until that point, it’s just a clump of cells.

That’s going to come as a surprise to any test tube babies out there.

Regardless of where you fall on the spectrum of when life begins, there is something perverse about how the Left treats embryos and fetuses for that matter. Instead of seeing them as humans, the Left sees them as objects without agency and, thus, useless to their political agenda except as an accessory to abortion rights. After all, a woman can continue to vote for Leftists, but an embryo can’t.

And as long as the Left continues to support abortion on demand (and contrary to what they say, some of them do), they will have a vested interest in dehumanizing a human life. Make no mistake, kids, an embryo is a human life. I’ve often wanted to ask pro-baby-death…I mean pro-choice advocates what comes out of the womb if it’s not a baby. Is it a basketball? A Shetland Pony? The transmission for a 1956 Buick? I’ve never had the chance, but a man can dream…

Meanwhile back at the main point, the Alabama Supreme Court’s decision makes sense in the context of protecting life. Once you dig past the sensationalist headlines and Leftist mischaracterizations, there is a real issue at stake. One of the lawsuits that lead to the decision involved a hospital patient who tried to take out some of the frozen embryos, got freeze burned, and dropped the embryos, causing them to die. Now, for the pro-baby-death…I mean pro-choice crowd, this is literally the kind of thing they claim to be against: letting women choose what they want to do with their bodies. The couple in this case chose to freeze an embryo, and the patient stripped that away from them.

Not that you would hear that from the Left, mind you. To them, the decision is backwards because…feefees. And to make sure the gay community got a shoutout, Leftists said the decision strips same sex couples of the ability to start a family.

Okay, time out here. Extending the legal protections of life to embryos prevents gay couples from having families? Well…let’s see if I can put this tactfully…how in the Wide World of Fuck does that make any sense? If these same sex couples want IVF to have a child, there’s nothing in the ruling that would prevent that. The same goes for couples looking to do IVF. All the ruling does is make it illegal to kill embryos and set up punishment for those who kill them. That’s it.

It was at this point we realized the Left was full of shit.

But, wait, it gets better! Leftists are now saying they will be freezing embryos and claim them as exemptions on their taxes. The thing is such an action would not only support the pro-life argument, but also the argument people are overtaxed as it is. To put it another way, and I’m speaking for myself here, your terms are acceptable.

In their attempts to look and sound smart on this decision, Leftists have exposed their true nature. They don’t care about embryos at all. They care more about the votes they get from the mothers of those embryos and any self-reflection on whether there’s a human life at stake is strictly optional, but highly discouraged. It’s this lack of consideration that drives me to be more on the pro-life side personally, even though I’m much more libertarian towards others. My personal opinion applies to me, myself, and some guy named Earl.

In the meantime, I think I’ve found a way to get more Leftists on board with protecting embryos. Tell them the embryos self-identify as trans. They’ll fall all over themselves to prevent any of them from dying or look like hypocrites in the process. Either way, the embryos get to live!

And that’s a win for everyone. Especially Earl.

The Not-So-Great Replacement

If you’ve been paying attention to the Left in recent years (and to be fair why would you since you have jobs and lives), you’ve heard about the Great Replacement Theory. In short, it’s the belief Jews are bringing in immigrants to replace white people. Of course, it’s wrong because without white people, Leftists would have no one to blame for shit.

But those same Leftists are facing their own Great Replacement Theory, but it has nothing to do with race or ethnicity. It has to do with who will be running for President for the Democrats in 2024.

The current presumptive candidate is President Puddin’ Head Joe, but given his propensity to, oh I don’t know, be a feeble-minded buffoon on a good day, the Left is trying to figure out what to do if his mental and/or physical health continues to deteriorate. To put it mildly, their options are scarcer than meat options at a vegan barbecue. Let’s take a look at these wieners…I mean winners.

Kamala Harris – Current Vice President and leader in the Government Official Who Makes Puddin’ Head Joe Look Sentient contest. Her list of accomplishments to date have been impressive…in just how blank the list is. Her popularity is somewhere between Bidenomics and Ben Shapiro at the BET Music Awards, and only one of those has a good beat that you can dance to. Leftists are trying to replace her, so elevating her to the Presidency would be a step in the wrong direction.

Dean Phillips – The “Who Is He?” candidate. To his credit, Phillips has brought up Puddin’ Head Joe’s age and low approval rates as reasons to find someone else. But as those calls have gotten louder in Leftist circles, it hasn’t moved the needle on his candidacy. And given how his party treated Robert Kennedy Jr., it’s not surprising so many are still Ridin’ With Biden even if that ride ends up at the bottom of a ravine. And speaking of Mr. Kennedy…

Robert Kennedy Jr. – Noted vaccine skeptic and bane of the Left’s existence because he didn’t Trust The Science. Much has been made of how his anti-vaccination stance has negatively impacted his extended family, but not much has been made of…how can I put this…his being fucking right about the COVID-19 vaccine. Since the narrative of his “homewrecking” has become the go-to for the Leftist hivemind, it’s unlikely he’ll get a fair shake or an honest hearing from Leftists and the media (but I repeat myself). So, he’s running as an Independent in the hopes that will prevent the Puddin’ Head Joe stink from sticking on him.

Jill Stein – The scapegoat of Hillary Clinton’s failed 2016 Presidential bid (since Leftists can’t admit the former First Lady is a shitty candidate), Stein is making another run for the White House for the Green Party. If you like recycled ideas that wouldn’t even work in theory, you’ll love her current platform…which appears to be only marginally different than her 2012 and 2016 platforms. I admire the tenacity, but when not even Leftists are willing to give your Leftist squawking points a first look, let alone a second, you might be in the Pat Paulsen category of Presidential candidates: a joke that comes around every 4 years and is forgotten afterwards.

Cornel West – Yes, that Cornel West. I can tell how much of an impact he’s going to have on this year’s election by the fact I didn’t even know he was running until I did research on the candidates. Gotta justify those speaking fees somehow!

Marianne Williamson – One of the few bright spots from the Left in the 2020 election. Sure, she’s nuttier than squirrel shit, but at least she was honest and willing to listen. No wonder Leftists don’t like her. I know she’s suspended her campaign already, but I would be remiss if I didn’t include her.

Other Democrats who some thought might run include Joe Manchin and Michelle Obama. With Manchin being as popular in Leftist circles as Rush Limbaugh in San Francisco, that would be a non-starter. Michelle Obama, on the other hand, still has the popularity she did when she was First Lady, but she said she wasn’t interested in the Presidency.

So, that leaves the Left with jack and shit for potential replacements for Puddin’ Head Joe, and Jack left town. This poses a problem for the Left in 2024 and beyond because they haven’t really developed a solid bench of potential candidates. Even rising stars like California Governor Gavin Newsom and Michigan Governor Gretchen Whitmer have enough baggage to keep them where they are for now. In another 4 years, that may change, but for now the Left’s Presidential candidate bench is shallower than a Taylor Lorenz article. Or, Lorenz herself, for that matter.

In retrospect, the Left may have been better served by losing the 2020 Presidential election because it would have forced them to find better candidates that could have better capitalized on Donald Trump’s unforced errors. Not that they would have had any in the first place, but one can dream. As it stands, though, they have a doddering old fool at the head of the ticket, and a doddering middle age fool backing him up, and the lack of viable replacements is a problem that could cost them the White House for years to come.

Looks like the Left will have to get more dead people to vote!

Leftist Lexicon Word of the Week

When I’m not writing blogs, banging my head against the wall until I get a concussion, or wondering if the Sweet Meteor of Death will be coming back for the 2024 election, I like to play video games. For me, they provide me with an escape from the real world so I can continue to be a functional (and, more importantly, a non-incarcerated) member of society.

But as with most fun things, Leftists had to go and ruin it by creating controversy. Granted, the Left has been trying to insert itself into video games for over a decade now and have failed. But their repeated and often embarassing failures have not deterred them from trying again. Think “Groundhog Day” but with video games. Oh, and a lot less comedy.

The latest attempt came from our good friends in GLAAD, the Gay and Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation. GLAAD recently released a report stating 1 in 5 active gamers are LGBTQIOUAEIOUSOMETIMESY and the gaming industry as a whole needs more representation of that community.

Son of a bitch…

representation

What the Left thinks it means – making sure all minorities can see a reflection of themselves in aspects of society

What it really means – superficial bean-counting without actually doing anything to help

Unless you’ve been living under a rock or trapped in Puddin’ Head Joe’s brain, you know members of the LGBTQMEANWHILEBACKATTHEHALLOFJUSTICE community exist and are prominent figures in society, mainly because so many of them can’t shut up about it. That community is slowly finding its way into various aspects of society and politics. Put simply, they’re visible and fabulooooouuuuusssss!

So, why aren’t they better represented in video games? The GLAAD report surmises it’s because the industry doesn’t think about them as viable protagonists. The exception to this is independent games where representation is much greater. But it also increases the likelihood this representation comes in really shitty games that a trained monkey could make better with an Etch-A-Sketch and a fifth of Everclear. Still, GLAAD felt confident in saying the gaming industry has to do a better job in making sure LGBTQIAIOUDEFENSE members get seen in their games.

And we can totally take an organization with a Board of Directors member named Peppermint seriously.

Unusual names aside, GLAAD is trying to come from a good place. They want everyone to feel included in video games. Is that so wrong?

Welllllll…it’s all about how that comes about that matters. That’s where I take issue with the notion of representation in this context. It’s not a matter of including a gay, lesbian, trans, bi, queer, etc. character in a game; it’s about making it make sense within the context. Trying to shoehorn a character that ticks off the flavor of the month box on the inclusiveness checklist makes it harder for gamers to accept him/her/it.

And here’s a fun little fact to consider: gamers are predominantly male. The numbers are getting closer to gender parity, but gaming is still a male’s domain. That means gaming studios are going to cater to where their cyber bread is buttered, as any capitalist worth his/her/its salt would. And make no mistake, game companies are in the business to make money, not to make social statements. If the social statement threatens the money, guess what’s going to be tossed aside faster than Hunter Biden goes through hookers and blow?

That’s where the calls for representation come into play. Since the community has a long reach when it comes to media and social influence, they can mobilize a PR nightmare within a matter of Twitter posts. And in that environment, nobody wants to be on the wrong side of a Twitter mob, so the game companies tend to bend the knee and comply. Just look at the template Anita Sarkeesian used to “help” women get more representation in video games.

Here’s the thing about Twitter mobs, though: they only have the power you allow them to have. Even as the GLAAD report gets mainstream traction (thanks NBC), the bottom line is still the bottom line, and no amount of virtual huffing and puffing from online activists will change that. Money talks, and bullshit walks.

And bullshit is the best way to explain the GLAAD report.

It turns out the gaming industry is already evolving with the times and has been since the 1980s. The early days of representation were less than stellar, but things have turned around so gay, lesbian, bi, and the other orientations are not only visible in games, but are sympathetic, realistic characters. And I’m not talking about low profile games, either. Some of the most popular titles of recent memory have represented the LBGTQAAAAAVVVEEEEMARRRRIIIIIAAAA community prominently and positively.

Including a game that was targeted by the aforementioned community, Hogwarts Legacy. After comments from J.K. Rowling that struck the trans community the wrong way, trans rights activists (including GLAAD, by the way) called for a boycott of the game. And the boycott, much like Fani Willis’s ability to not make herself look like a corrupt asshat, failed miserably.

I attribute the boycott’s failure to two factors. One, the game developers anticipated the controversy and created a transgender character. Of course, these Leftist idiots wouldn’t have known that unless they played the game. Oops!

The second, and more prevalent, reason was…gamers really don’t give a fuck about LGBTQIUDCANWEMILKTHISJOKEDRY representation. They care about…get this…good games. Sure, there are assholes who will make the biggest deal about “protecting games from woke culture,” but most of the gamers are more interested in whether a game entertains them more than who gets represented in the game. The Left completely missed the point by not understanding the audience they wanted to persuade.

And now they’re repeating the same mistake with the GLAAD report. At the very least, Leftists are consistent in being wrong and committed to recycling, albeit with bad ideas.

The point of representation in Leftist circles is to demand compliance instead of asking for consideration. But the thing to remember is no matter if you bend over backwards like a spineless yoga guru, it will never be enough. There will always be another goal to meet, milestone to achieve, or mountain to climb. So, the best way to win the game is not to play.

Say…that could be a great line for a movie! If only there was a plot, maybe involving a teenager who hacks into a government computer and almost starts a nuclear war with Russia…nah. Too implausible.

Anyway, the Left’s commitment to representation is skin deep. Notice how they don’t demand a slow, out of shape white guy be showcased in the next NBA video game. (By the way, I am available for consultation if you want to go down this road, 2K Games.) It’s always about the representation they want to push. And that’s why we need to take their calls for representation with a grain of salt.

The size of Mount Everest.

Leftist Lexicon Word of the Week

While you are enjoying the Super Bowl, the commercials, the food, and all of the pomp and circumstance, there is a genocide going on. Not in some foreign country, but rather our own shores.

Leftists, especially those of the LGBTQ1A+GWBJIBBAJABBA community, have been warning us of a trans genocide going on. Sounds pretty serious, doesn’t it? Certainly, if there’s a genocide against members of the trans community, we have to do something!

And I have chosen to write about it.

trans genocide

What the Left thinks it means – trans people being subjected to everything from discrimination to violence

What it really means – a term that conflates non-genocide with genocide for PR purposes

The first thing we need to do, aside from keeping our eyes from rolling because we’re talking about this general subject again, is define what a genocide is. Our good friends at Dictionary.com define it thus:

the deliberate and systematic extermination of a national, racial, political, or cultural group

That makes trans genocide sound very serious. The problem? The numbers don’t match up to the rhetoric. According to a group that tracked violence against trans people from October 2022 to September 2023, there were 320 deaths. Compared to the 2.6 million trans people in America, the aforementioned deaths came out to a staggering 0.00012308% of the trans population. And when you consider other mitigating factors (race, whether they were sex workers, where the killing occurred), it gets harder to point to a definitive movement to eliminate trans people.

That’s when the Left changed the definition of “genocide” to include non-genocidy actions, like alleged marginalization and mean words. So, it’s not just the actual killing of trans people that counts, but anything they can perceive to be kinda sorta possibly a call for violence. And as we all know, trans people are known to be demure and serious, like Dylan Mulvaney.

For the Leftists reading this, that was sarcasm.

The reason for the expanded desecration…I mean definition is simple: to make as many people victims as possible. And it whips up enough hysteria to get people with TikTok-level attention spans upset and demanding action. And who gets to swoop in and show they care dammit? The Left! Funny how that works out, isn’t it?

What’s not so funny is the lack of action by Leftists to address the situation. Sure, they make a fuss to “raise awareness” of the issue, but that’s like a taking a squirt gun to a five alarm fire: it’s something, but it might as well be nothing. You know, like most of Puddin’ Head Joe’s policies?

But the trans activists are okay with nothing getting done because they don’t care about results as much as they care about being the center of attention. A demographic breakdown of the trans community last year found over half of them are under 35 years old. Now, that in and of itself isn’t particularly damning, until you consider the number of narcissists in that age group. With the advent of social media and the desire of young people to be seen, many young people thrive on being attention whores.

Including trans people.

Further complicating matters is the fact men tend to be more overt with their egos than females. Even if you’re a 6’9″ 389 pound former linebacker from the Midwest who goes by Camille and dresses like Scarlett Johansson cosplaying as the Hulk, the ego is still there and will always be there. Throw in the flamboyance that comes with high visibility trans people and you have a glittery yet toxic cocktail.

So what does this have to do with trans genocide? Turns out quite a bit due to, surprise surprise, ego. What’s better way to gain sympathy (i.e. attention) than to be the victim of something heinous? And with the Left willing to give them as much attention as possible and as much leeway to showcase and promote their lifestyle, it’s a match made in Hell packaged as a heavenly union.

This, of course, creates a copycat effect. Even if the worst thing a trans person encounters is being misgendered, it has the potential to turn him/her into victim, which can inspire others to look for offense in the tiniest of forms. And remember, you can only take offense. It doesn’t just exist in the world in free range cage free conditions. And if it did, it would be way overpriced at Whole Foods.

Let me make something crystal clear here. I don’t advocate for violence against anyone for any reason. Well, except if you cut me off in traffic. Then it’s on!

Seriously, though, no one should be targeted for violence because of their lifestyles. Yes, I know trans rights and transphobia are real things, but they’re not worth killing each other over. And they’re certainly not worth lying about to garner attention.

If the trans community wants me to believe there’s a trans genocide out there, I’m going to have to see evidence that can’t be explained away by other factors. It’s a bit like the COVID 19 death counts where the people who died with COVID were counted as deaths because of COVID. There is a distinction that makes all the difference.

Even if we accept the 320 number provided earlier as solely because the victims were trans, it’s not indicative of a trend or even a TikTok fad. Under the strictest (and most accurate) definition of the term, an actual genocide would involve many more deaths than 300+.

That’s why conflating genocide with what’s happening in the trans community is utterly damaging to the community itself. By inflating the numbers and watering down the definition to the point getting a trans person’s drink order wrong is “proof,” you gain victims, but lose credibility. Call it the Trans Boy Who Cried Wolf, if you will.

I would also take these folks more seriously if they spoke out against trans activists attacking other trans people who don’t agree with them. I mean, if trans genocide includes harsh words and death threats, wouldn’t those trans activists be engaging in…trans genocide? And what about the harsh words against former trans people who are detransitioning? More trans genocide, perhaps?

Hey, I don’t make the rules, folks. I just point them out to people unclear on what they are.

Ultimately, I want the same thing I want from any controversial topic: a rational discussion where the facts are laid out, no matter how ugly they are for one side or the other. With the kind of hysteria surrounding trans genocide, I’m afraid that’s not going to happen anytime soon. It’s okay, though. I can wait.

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to get back into my cryogenic chamber and wake up in another 200 years. See you soon!

Leftist Lexicon Word of the Week

There are times when both the Left and the Right get something so completely fucking wrong that I have to call it out. And this is one of those times.

Since the NFL season began, there has been a lot of talk about Taylor Swift, mainly because she’s currently dating potential future song inspiration Travis Kelce of the Kansas City Chiefs. This has garnered a lot of emotions on both sides of the political aisle and for a lot of different reasons.

And if there wasn’t, I wouldn’t have a topic for this week’s Lexicon.

Taylor Swift

What the Left thinks it means – a strong successful woman who scares conservative and Republican football fans

What the Right thinks it means – a nuisance who has ruined the NFL this year and may impact the 2024 election

What it really means – she’s a fucking performer

Sorry to bring the heat so early into this one, but it’s the central point that both sides continue to ignore.

A lot of the heat from the Right when it comes to Taylor Swift is based on how popular she is with both young women and wine moms. These are two demographics that the Right have pissed off in recent months with abortion “bans” (i.e. following the 10th Amendment instead of a fundamentally flawed and politically motivated Supreme Court decision) and…well, that’s pretty much it. Beyond that, there are a few traits both groups exhibit.

Namely, they’re dumbasses who are easily manipulated by Leftists.

Oh, and they hang on everything Taylor Swift does. That point isn’t lost on Leftists, mind you. In fact, they’re banking on it to get women to the polls since Puddin’ Head Joe and Kamala “I Make the President Look Articulate” Harris are about as popular as PETA at a steakhouse. For Leftists who want to keep Puddin’ Head Joe in office…oh, who am I kidding, they want to keep Donald Trump out of office more than they want Puddin’ Head Joe in office, they need to energize as many voters as possible.

Hence, their professed love of Taylor Swift and how she “scares” Republicans and conservatives. And like the Kansas City Chiefs on a short yardage scenario, they are fucking running with this narrative. Facebook, Twitter, and social media in general are filled with this idea that somehow a pretty blonde white woman frightens big bad MAGA folks.

And yet these same Leftists say MAGA is full of white supremacists…who would presumably be in favor of pretty blonde white women…

Fuck it, it doesn’t make sense.

That brings us to the other side of the equation. The Right has built up this outrage over Taylor Swift because she tends to lean to the Left. And given how Swifties follow her like hippies followed the Grateful Dead, the Right is scared of the political sway she has or may have if the Swifties all registered and voted. Plus, there are rumors Swift is going to endorse Puddin’ Head Joe at the Super Bowl, which will mean…not a lot, but it will piss off conservative and Republican football fans.

See, the problem the Right has in their hyperventilation over Taylor Swift is in whether Swifties will turn into voters. Although one Instagram post urging her followers to register to vote garnered over 35,000 new registrations, that is out of…272 million followers as of the date of that post. That’s a whopping 0.00012868% of her followers, kids! I don’t even have an Instagram, but if I did and got the one follower I would presumably have to register to vote, I would outperform Taylor Swift. Also, I bet I could beat her in a chicken wing eating contest, so there’s that.

The point is I like chicken wings, and I can do math. Republicans and conservatives worrying about Swifties rushing out to vote for Puddin’ Head Joe because she says something at the Super Bowl are overestimating the return on investment, for lack of a better term. Yes, she’s influential, but does she move the 2024 needle that much? Probably not, mainly because it would require a sustained effort on Swift’s part to turn her fans into Puddin’ Head Joe fans. And she has shit to do, like write another 14 songs about ex-boyfriends for her next album!

At the end of the day, Taylor Swift only has the power we give her. If we think she’s a potential ally, she’s an ally. If we think she’s a roadblock, she’s a roadblock. If we think she’s a turkey and Swiss on rye with a bit of spicy brown mustard…well, she wouldn’t be, but the point remains. Once we understand the give-and-take of this situation, we can decide how to react.

As for me? I just don’t fucking care.

Taylor Swift is an adult and, as such, she can date who she wants, believe what she wants, and vote for who she wants, as long as all of those actions are done within the confines of the law. If she votes 243 times for Puddin’ Head Joe, though, then she’s fair game for consequences and, quite possibly, a referral to a mental facility. Until then, we owe her the same basic respect we give to a complete stranger: not to stick our noses into his or her business.

Of course, this point will get lost on the extremes of the Taylor Swift kerfuffle because it’s more fun to be pissed off over insignificant bullshit. That’s become our national past time. Screw baseball and football! It’s outrage, baby! If outrage were an Olympic event, we would win the gold, silver, and bronze medals, although the silver and bronze medalists would ask to speak to the Olympics’ manager.

But here’s the thing. You control your outrage, and Taylor Swift doesn’t. Pick your battles better and don’t get swept up in the argle-bargle du jour. In the grand scheme of things, she doesn’t care you don’t like her, nor should you care that she doesn’t care. Fandoms come and go, and the Swifties, too, shall pass.

Just ask anyone from Dexys Midnight Runners.

Leftist Lexicon Word of the Week

Unless you’ve been living under a rock (or in Amish country), you’ve heard the term “border crisis” tossed about like a frisbee at a stoner festival in Colorado on 4/20. While the Puddin’ Head Joe Administration has been busy handling the really important issues, like finding out who has been buying Bibles, the southern border has seen numerous illegal immigrants crossing practically at will. And it’s left officials in southern states looking for help.

Maybe they haven’t heard about the Bible buying epidemic.

It was only when Texas Governor Greg Abbott did something (and by something, I mean a few things) about the situation that the Left got upset. I mean, how else are they going to make illegal immigrants vote Democrat if they aren’t allowed to enter the country illegally?

Seriously, though, we need to dig deeper into the border crisis because…well, there’s a lot of shit behind it.

border crisis

What the Left thinks it means – an overblown non-issue that shows how Republicans hate immigrants

What it really means – a serious crisis caused by both major parties giving zero fucks about immigrants

The history of immigration laws in America is…well, a little on the confusing side. Put simply, a country that was founded at least in part on immigration from foreign lands decided to limit immigration in 1965 because…reasons, I guess? But that hasn’t stopped people from wanting to come to America, and it certainly hasn’t stopped people from taking shortcuts to come to the Land of the Free and the Home of Anchor Babies and Green Card Marriages.

Since illegal immigrants tend not to fill out census forms, it’s estimated that there are over 11 million of them in America right now. That’s over 10 Rhode Islands and almost 20 Wyomings. And keep in mind this is just an estimate. The actual number could be higher or lower, but the fact it’s more than the populations of all but 7 states tells me there’s an issue.

Not that the Left agrees there is an issue, mind you. The Puddin’ Head Joe Administration has gone from claiming the southern border is secure to saying it would be secure if it weren’t for those pesky Republicans and their dog to saying it hasn’t been secure for a decade. Even Mitt “I Ain’t Shit” Romney tried to blame Donald Trump for the border crisis.

Good thing Kamala Harris the border czar or we’d be fucked! Oh, wait, we are, and it’s not just because Vice President Word Salad has zero ideas of what to do.

The fact is the past 3 years of the Puddin’ Head Joe Administration’s border policy has resulted in more, not less, illegal immigration. But now that the 2024 elections are coming up and voters see the President as less effective on the border than a bubble pipe in a gang war, they’re going to get serious and…adopt some of the same policies they decried as racist and xenophobic when Trump suggested them. Brilliant!

Even if Puddin’ Head Joe goes full MAGA, it’s not going to solve the border crisis. And the same will happen if Donald Trump wins the Presidency again, and it’s for the same reason: because the majority of politicians don’t want to solve the problem. Remember, one of my immutable truths of life is government is not in the problem-solving business. For the Left, there is too much money and power to be gained by letting people enter the country like hookers and blow at Hunter Biden’s place. For the Right, there is too much money and power to be gained by stoking the fear illegal immigrants are taking American jobs and taking money out of social programs. And any attempts to change the status quo is going to piss off one side or the other.

So, why not piss them off by doing something?

The fact so many Leftists are going after Governor Abbott for securing the southern border of his state and for sending illegal immigrants to sanctuary cities is a sign they know how bad the border crisis is and are freaking out that a Republican governor had the balls to hold the Left at their word. Throw in Ron Desantis, and you have two Republicans willing to do something about the problem.

And now that several other Republican governors are backing Abbott’s play? The Left is in full-blown freak out mode, or should be if they were aware of the implications of the policies they’ve been pimping for years.

And they aren’t. They’re too busy either trying to continue to spin Puddin’ Head Joe’s border failures as not his fault or looking for an alternate candidate to support, like…oh, I don’t know…Nikki Haley? Either way, the Left can’t bullshit their way out of this. Their hands are pretty dirty, which given how they don’t like to work, is ironic, don’t ya think?

However, I would be remiss if I didn’t mention the Right’s failures on the border. Yes, Donald Trump promised a border wall, but there are ways to avoid the walls altogether, such as tunnels under the wall or into states where they give illegal immigrants a pass, like California. Throw in the growing fentanyl epidemic being funneled through these and other tunnels and human trafficking being done in conjunction with illegal immigration and you have a multi-front problem that neither major party has any idea of how to address. It’s one thing to show compassion to those who are seeking asylum due to political violence or civil unrest, but it’s another thing to let every Tomas, Ricardo, and Hernando across the border under the assumption they’re asylum seekers.

But that’s the Left’s plan. By lumping those attempting to go through proper channels to come to America with those just looking to get free shit, the Left paints a picture that doesn’t match what’s going on in an attempt to get you to let your emotions override your logic. As long as the border crisis continues, the Left will use this tactic to take your mind off the ever-rising numbers coming into America through dishonest means.

But that’s why we should counter the pulling of the heartstrings with hard numbers and logic. The border crisis is no longer about alleged asylum seekers, but encompasses more criminal activities the longer we sit around with our thumbs up our asses. First off, that’s very uncomfortable and may lead to carpel tunnel syndrome. Second, and more importantly, we’re playing with human lives here. Taking a stand against the Immigrat-a-palooza going on under Puddin’ Head Joe and the ineffective “solutions” that take no real action to secure our border is the only way I know to respect our national sovereignty and protect as many people as we can on both sides of the border.

Then, maybe American can return to the Land of the Free and the Home of the 99 Cent Menu at Taco Bell.

Leftist Lexicon Word of the Week

In case you hadn’t marked it on your calendars, the World Economic Forum (think Nerd Prom for people even less hip than the White House Correspondents’ Dinner) met and gave its opinion on the biggest threat in 2024. Was it post-COVID economic instability? Was it the impact on oil production if the Middle East continues to fight like the Hatfields and McCoys with heavy artillery? Was it the impact Bitcoin and other e-currency will have on the free market?

Nope. It was misinformation and disinformation.

Oh, they also mentioned climate change and the polarization of society in the top 3, but out of all the other subjects, some of them even related to economics, these high-fallutin’ asshats chose misinformation/disinformation to worry about?

Well, that’s by design, kids, as we’ll soon find out.

misinformation/disinformation

What the Left thinks it means – information that erodes confidence in trusted institutions and sources of information

What it really means – information the Left can’t bullshit their way out of

Politics is dishonest because, let’s face it, modern politicians are lying assholes. So much of what they do revolves around releasing certain information and hiding other information that would damage The Party. And once the lie is no longer useful or needed, it’s memory-holed as though it never happened. Remember, Mitt Romney was the second coming of Hitler back in 2012, but then became a good Republican a few years later. Now, the Left would have us believe it was because the GOP and Donald Trump supporters in particular took the party to the far right, but the real reason is far easier and more believable.

Romney wasn’t the monster the Left made him out to be in 2012.

If that isn’t misinformation or disinformation, I don’t know what is. The thing is the Left doesn’t know what these terms mean either, or if they do they absolutely suck at recognizing it. While they’re quick to point out misinformation and disinformation when it comes to the Right (which is a valid point given some of the stupid shit Trump says on the regular), they have a blind spot when it comes to someone who says equally stupid shit, like MSNBC’s Joy Ann Reid.

Now, if Reid were an outlier, the Left would have an easy defense. Of course, she’s not. MSNBC is staffed with people less trustworthy than 3 day old gas station sushi. Or 3 minute old Chipotle. But, of course, when they engage in misinformation/disinformation, it’s perfectly fine because they’re doing it for the right reasons.

Like getting underinformed people to believe their bullshit!

That’s the target of any misinformation or disinformation campaign: getting people who are just aware enough to know the key facts and figures of a situation, but not aware enough to know where they have knowledge gaps. In today’s society, that’s more common than a bad Michael Bay movie. Most of us have access to a wealth of information at our fingertips, but we still fall for obvious half-truths and impossible notions because a) we hate to admit we’re dumber than we actually are, or b) we want to believe the lie.

From there, the impact of misinformation and disinformation gets a lot bigger. Whether it’s ego or a desire to believe the implausible because it fits our personal narratives, the more we get intellectually mired into believing something that isn’t true, the harder it is to reverse our thinking. This is a little thing the kids like to call the Dunning-Kruger effect, which encapsulates both the ego and the desire I just mentioned. To put it simply, it’s literally your ego writing checks your brain can’t cash.

Even though the World Economic Forum isn’t exactly the best vehicle to deliver this lesson, the lesson is worth learning as we go into the election this year. After all, the Left is fully behind the WEF’s report, so that means it’s less credible than Eric Swalwell talking about how to avoid Chinese spies. And, it gets funnier. Frequent Leftist misinformers Brian “Potato” Stelter and Philip “I Don’t Have a Vegetable-Themed Nickname” Bump have raised the alarm about misinformation/disinformation, with the latter going so far as to say doing your own research actually helps people be uninformed.

And people wonder why my opinion of the media is lower than the tip of a male snake’s condom.

What Stelter, Bump, and the Left actually want is for you to not do your homework and just believe what you’re told. Of course, when they get shit wrong, they also want you to overlook the facts and still believe them because they have all the really truthful people on their side. Just look at all the doctors, scientists, and experts who agree! You know, like Dr. Fauci!

This, kids, is a logical fallacy called an appeal to authority. Just because an expert says something doesn’t make it factual because of his or her station. They could be just as fucking stupid as your next door neighbor who thinks Elvis is alive and living in a trailer park in Missouri. This is precisely why you need to verify the information you’re getting, especially if the information is too good to be true.

I’m looking at you, Rachel Maddow.

Although I’ve ragged on the Left primarily for misinformation and disinformation (mainly because they’re the ones claiming to be fighting against it while actively engaging in it), the Right doesn’t have clean hands. In a campaign ad prior to the Iowa Caucuses, Republican Presidential candidate Nikki Haley’s PAC ran an ad bragging how how handily she would beat Joe Biden in a head-to-head election match-up, and noted how Donald Trump couldn’t. The problem? Trump’s “loss” was within the margin of error for the poll, meaning it was still possible for him to beat Puddin’ Head Joe. But that didn’t mean she stopped running it or that Haley supporters stopped believing it. Given her third place finish in Iowa, I’d say the only thing that the ad accomplished was turning off voters like me who can do math.

Which goes back to my earlier point about modern politicians being fucking liars. And as long as they’re allowed to get away with it, they’ll keep doing it.

That’s where you all come in. Hold every source of information to the same standard: tell the truth or go the way of Hunter Biden ever getting a job as the Drug Czar. That includes me. If I ever lead you astray, call me out on it. I welcome the scrutiny and it makes me a better correspondent.

The Left, on the other hand, don’t want you asking inconvenient questions like “Are you sure you’re being honest with me?” or “Just how full of shit do you think my head is?” They need you to believe, nothing more. Yet, if you look at their track record over the past, oh, year or so, you’ll find there’s not much of a reason to trust them. So, question them. Back up your thoughts with facts from multiple sources. Look for logical fallacies. Trace back the information using the “who benefits” model. And above all else, don’t continue to believe something that’s been disproven by reputable sources. The Left and the Right need you to be unthinking drones, and being one step ahead of them freaks them the fuck out.

So, good on the World Economic Forum for raising this issue. After all, if they hadn’t, I wouldn’t have much of a Lexicon entry this week!

Leftist Lexicon Word of the Week

With Election 2024 coming up faster than a salmonella and ipecac shake, the political landscape is going to get contentious in a hurry. And nowhere is it getting more contentious than on…MSNBC.

Yes, our good friends at the cable news equivalent of Vox are already sounding the warning bells on the possibility of Donald Trump becoming President again, and their crack talking heads (or talking heads on crack, I can never tell) have figured out what the Left has to overcome: rural America. From a recent “Morning Joe” appearance by Chris Matthews:

I think voters have got to take their hand in this election and don’t wait for the government to do it. Because, you know this election is going to be close. And it’s going to be very close in places like Pennsylvania, and you’re gonna have rural people out there voting their craziness about the cult.


In case you were wondering, the “cult” Mr. Matthews was referring to was…Trump voters. Yeah, I was shocked when I found out, too. And by shocked, I mean shocked someone took Chris Matthews out of cryogenic storage to appear on MSNBC.

Regardless of whether you think Trump voters are in a cult, this little snippet exposes how the Left feels about people who don’t live on the coasts. And it means I have another topic for the Lexicon.

rural America

What the Left thinks it means – a bunch of uneducated rubes who need smart people with the right politics to run their lives

What it really means – people whose voices the Left love to silence or ridicule

For purposes of transparency, I have lived in Iowa my whole life, so I would identify as a rural American. Granted, I don’t have Puddin’ Head Joe’s phone number on speed dial or access to all the most elite dinner parties on either coast, but I do know the people who have the attitude Mr. Matthews expressed usually haven’t been to a rural area for more than the time it takes to get a Starbucks.

Which means most Leftists. But speaking out of abject ignorance is on brand, so they see nothing wrong with it.

The problem is…there’s a lot wrong with it. Painting rural America as a swath of rabid Trump supporters misses the mark. It also misses the Matthew, the Luke, and the John, it’s so off base. The thing about rural America is how diverse it is ideologically, philosophically, and yes, even racially. We’re not all white people here, and we’re definitely not all conservative Republicans.

Take Iowa, for example. As of November 2023, the Hawkeye State is pretty evenly split, with Republicans and that powerhouse of politics Unaffiliated taking the top two spots, and Democrats in a close third place. That doesn’t exactly scream “Trump Republican stronghold” to me. And it certainly doesn’t sound like a cult, unless it’s the world’s lamest cult.

Things get even more murky when you consider the Midwest as a whole. Although it’s mostly a sea of red, there are states like Illinois, Michigan, and Minnesota that buck the trend, and they are certainly rural, or would be considered rural by the MSNBC morons. Yet, in their haste to whip up hysteria about Trump 2.0, they ignore the reality on the ground in those states.

Unfortunately, there are enough people unaware of the reality ready to believe rural America is like the bumpkins on “Hee Haw” only dumber. Including a former Senator from Missouri, Claire McCaskill. On the same show Matthews made the “rural cult” comment, she agreed with him, saying:

…if you are not on Donald Trump’s bandwagon, if you’re not a member of the cult, then you just stay quiet.

And people wonder why she’s no longer a Senator. Oh, wait, it’s because she’s a moron!

Anyway, both Matthews and McCaskill mirror the Left’s attitude about rural America, which has been pretty much a constant since I’ve been an adult. (Biologically, not emotionally.) The Left believe if it doesn’t happen on either coast, it’s dumb and needs to be converted to the “correct” way of thinking. And they’ve been pretty successful, converting states like New Mexico and Colorado from red or purple states into blue ones. They accomplish it like people who get STDs get them: they fuck people. And not unlike the aforementioned STDs, once one person/state gets it, pretty soon another one gets it.

But look at the bright side, kids! Pretty soon all states will need shit maps like San Francisco! Then we’ll all be equal! Won’t that be awesome?

The thing is rural America might not be the intellectual and ideological pushovers the Left thinks it is. People from the backwoods and gravel roads have a lot more life experience than Leftists do, and that shapes who they are more than any college curricula can. They worship God, they hunt and fish, they drive beat-up pickup trucks, and they know the value of a hard day’s work. And, yes, they have different political beliefs. You’re just as likely to find a farmer who votes straight-ticket Democrat as you are a farmer who votes straight-ticket Republican.

And the best part? These two farmers can be friends and/or neighbors without it descending into “Summer of Peace” style anarchy. That shit’s on you coastal Leftist motherfuckers. We may not walk in your circles, but we may not want to in the first place. Rural America is a simpler existence, but not an empty one because we don’t have what Leftist cities have. In fact, I think we might be better off that way.

Should Donald Trump become President again, Leftists won’t change their opinions of rural America. They’ll only quadruple down, saying Trump won because rural America is stupid as they point out the number of “smart” people who voted for Puddin’ Head Joe and Kamala “Word Salad” Harris. Just remember, some of those “smart” people came from rural America and found their way into your ideological bubble in spite of it. To have know-nothings like Chris Matthews, Claire McCaskill, and the entire MSNBC network from top to bottom paint rural America as some right wing feeding ground is not only insulting to me, but should be insulting to every Leftist in rural America who is fighting to bring a little more East and West Coast into the Midwest.

So, to the Leftists who think rural America is a vast intellectual wasteland, I offer two invitations. The first is to come to one of our rural communities and spend six months to a year here. Then, you can see what goes on here and be better informed. Maybe you’ll even like it enough to stay.

Should you reject the first invitation, I formerly invite you all to shut the fuck up about rural America. Thank you. Fuck you. Bye!

Extremist Makeover – Harvard Edition

To say Harvard’s reputation as an elite academic institution has taken a hit is like saying “The View” is a TV show where ignorant harpies spew Leftist talking points and generally make asses of themselves: technically accurate, but wholly insufficient. Whether it’s the university’s tone-deaf response to anti-Israel threats and violence on campus to Claudine “Xerox” Gay’s ever-mounting plagiarism scandal or just having David “I Dohn’t Uze Spel Chek” Hogg as a graduate, Harvard is in need of some serious rehabilitation.

And I, being the solutions-oriented guy I am, am here to help.

With any type of rehabilitation, actual or metaphorical, the first step is setting challenging, yet attainable goals that keep any current shortcomings in mind. If you’re three days out of having knee replacement surgery, you’re not ready to compete in a decathlon. And to be fair and honest, Harvard isn’t ready to be respected institution of higher learning just yet. We have to start with baby steps.

And the first baby step I suggest for Harvard is to scale back its reputation as a premiere university. In fact, I think we should scale it back significantly until such time as Harvard’s reputation has gotten strong enough to reenter the pantheon of Ivy League schools.

That’s right. I’m talking Harvard becoming a community college.

But not just any community college, mind you. The only model that Harvard can possibly excel in right now is that of Greendale Community College from the TV show “Community.” For those of you unfamiliar with the show, Greendale is quite possibly one of the most poorly-run community colleges ever, with classes that even David Hogg could pass (albeit barely). Only the dregs of the dregs of academia attend Greendale.

Which means it’s perfect for Harvard.

And don’t worry. Harvard’s extension college will translate well into our Greendale-ized Harvard University. In fact, I’m thinking maybe the extension should be considered the real Harvard until such time as the Greendale-ized Harvard can be whipped into shape!

There are many other steps towards rehabilitating Harvard’s image, but this is as good a start as they deserve. Plus, you get to have an annual campus-wide paint ball game at the end of the spring semester to look forward to! Now, the Harvard Crimson won’t just be the color of the faces of those who go to school there!

Oh, and by the way…#sixseasonsandamovie

Leftist Lexicon Word of the Week

By the time you read this, the Left will still be coping with the resignation of former Harvard President and known copycat Claudine Gay and trying to rewrite the narrative to make her into the victim of a vast right wing conspiracy. By the way, Hillary Clinton, please call your office. That part was predictable.

What wasn’t so predictable was the Left falling all over itself to redefine plagiarism to make it more acceptable. Granted, the Left loves to redefine words with the regularity of a guy who eats a lot of fiber and prunes, so it’s not surprising they would do it here. It’s the sheer fucking stupidity behind it that has me dumbfounded, but not speechless (which is a good thing because if I couldn’t put my thoughts into words, this would be a very short blog).

plagiarism

What the Left thinks it means – a not-so-serious offense where someone wittingly or unwittingly copies the work of another

What it really means – intellectual theft

When I was growing up…errr…going from childhood into adulthood, I was taught copying someone else’s work without attribution was a grave error. I’m talking worse than wearing leisure suits unironically here, kids. I will admit to having done it back when I was young and stupid, but now that I’m old and stupid, I know the error of my ways. By copying someone else’s work and claiming it as your own, you are at best depriving the owner of the original work of recognition.

So, why in the Wide World of Fuck is the Left suddenly okay with plagiarism?

To be fair, they’re not completely okay with it. Just if the wrong people use their stuff. See how Twisted Sister lead singer Dee Snyder reacts to Donald Trump supporters using “We’re Not Gonna Take It” as a theme song. Of course, he’s okay with it being used as a theme song for anti-gun activists and Ukrainians, so…yeah.

This isn’t to say he’s not within his rights to dictate who can use his song. Even though I don’t agree with the political reasoning behind his decisions, I can’t object to what he’s doing because it’s his intellectual property, and I’m sure Leftists would agree without question.

Just not for the intellectually consistent reason.

Let’s say someone were to copy an article by Taylor Lorenz and try to pass it off as his or her own. The Left would have a shit fit. Of course, this would never happen because a) you’d have to be dumber than a bag of hammers to do it, and b) Lorenz has the intellectual vigor and rhetorical skill of moldy bread. Copying one of her pieces is grounds for being declared mentally incompetent in 16 states.

That was before Ms. Gay, of course. As of this writing, there have been 40 instances where she has plagiarized someone else’s academic work while writing hers. Most of the academics she’s plagiarized and other academics have defended her, going so far as to say they don’t feel it was plagiarism. Now, this is where shit gets weird. Instead of calling it what it is, Leftists came up with new excuses, ranging from “sloppy attribution” and “sort of more like copying other peoples writings without attribution” to suggesting it’s more commonplace and, thus, not as big of deal as it’s being made out to be. Some went so far as to say the charges were “mostly bogus.

And if you had “anti-plagiarism is racist” on your 2024 Stupid Shit Leftists Say Bingo card, you have a winner! Because Leftists have to bring race into everything from plagiarism to getting the wrong kind of cage free organic free range cruelty free bananas from Whole Foods, it was only a matter of time before Ms. Gay’s race was brought into it. And it wasn’t just one or two outlets, either. There were a litany of “muh racism” takes from all the predictable sources. Why, it’s almost like they…plagiarized their responses!

Or they share the same brain cell. You know, whichever.

More to the point, though, should the Left’s indifference to plagiarism spread outside the halls of academia, it would have a detrimental effect to any intellectual property. Patent law, copyright law, and even laws surrounding parody would definitely take a hit. As much as I’d like to see 50 porn “parodies” of Barbieheimer (all shot, produced, and released within at a pace that would make Roger Corman look like an overmedicated sloth), I’m not sure this is the direction we should want to go.

And think of the impact to social media sharing sites like YouTube, whose copyright system is more fucked up than Keith Richards as an AA sponsor. Or Keith Richards in general. Any video posted could get taken, renamed, and rebroadcast, including any previously copyrighted material. That in and of itself would impact a certain bay of pirates sailing on the interwebs.

Now, who would be hurt most by this attitude? Maybe…oh, I don’t know…the Leftists in the performing arts community? After all, if plagiarism is fine and should be excused with the lightest of wrist slaps, there’s nothing preventing someone like me from copying a Tyler Perry movie or a Cardi B song and calling it my own.

I mean, aside from me having taste, that is.

This is a situation where the Left’s adherence to social justice comes back to biting them in the collectivist ass. They can’t hold Ms. Gay accountable for what she clearly did because it would look racist and sexist. But in doing so, they’re going to be hurting their financial bottom line sometime in the future because they are undercutting intellectual property rights, which is how many of their prominent donors make their money. Hope it’s worth it.

Meanwhile, Ms. Gay is no longer President of Harvard, but is still employed as…a political science professor. Granted, plagiarism isn’t necessarily a criminal matter, but the fact she only got a demotion speaks volumes about how Harvard and the Left have put not being called racist and sexist above not enabling plagiarizers, in direct defiance of the rules Harvard has for its students. That’s right, kids. College students are now held to a higher intellectual and ethical standards than one of its professors.

At least for now. It’s only a matter of time before Harvard will have to deal with a student who uses the precedent it set with Ms. Gay to argue (and I daresay successfully) there is a double standard between students and faculty and demand plagiarism be allowed across the board with little to no penalty to the offender. And we thought Harvard fucked up its response to anti-Israeli protests on campus!

The Left’s response to Claudine Gay’s frequent plagiarism reveals fundamental flaws that benefit no one. Unless there is protection of intellectual property, we might as well start emulating China. Oh, wait…

Either way, Ms. Gay doesn’t have much to worry about. After all, she may not be President of Harvard anymore, but she’s already built up quite a resume to run for President of the United States.