Mark Twain once wrote, “History never repeats itself, but it does often rhyme.” Far be it from me to disagree with one of my comedic idols, but I do have to disagree, thanks to the actions of one Donald J. Trump. And in Twain’s defense, he hadn’t experienced modern politicians.
While everyone else was obsessed with changing the Cracker Barrel logo, our President issued an Executive Order announcing his Administration would start prosecuting people who burned the American flag. Which caused Seattle Leftists (which is pretty much redundant) to…say it with me now…plan to burn the American flag.
But remember, kids. They’re smarter than we are. Just ask them.
While people on the Left and the Right debate this topic, I’d like to approach this week’s Lexicon entry with a bit more insight, and maybe a little more humor if you can dig that.
flag burning
What the Left thinks it means – burning a symbol of the country because it’s our First Amendment right to protest
What the Right thinks it means – burning a symbol of our country that shouldn’t be done because it shows disrespect for the county
What it really means – burning a symbol of the country because…reasons, I guess?
And just like that, I’m back in the early 1990s. A time when grunge started to fill the airwaves with more distortion than a Jen Psaki interview, but well before boy bands and Nickelback became the scourges we know them to be today. Flannel was a fashion staple, which surprised many lumberjacks who had been wearing it for centuries. Things were on the cusp of being EXTREEEEEEEEME!
And a young man named Gregory Lee Johnson was at the epicenter of a Supreme Court ruling regarding flag burning. Johnson burned a flag at the 1984 Republican National Convention in Dallas, Texas, and was fined and imprisoned under Texas law. After a prolonged legal battle (or in other words anything more complicated than a jaywalking ticket), the US Supreme Court ruled 5-4 that flag burning was protected speech.
Which, to me, it is. The First Amendment protects our right to redress grievances with the government. Although I’m not sure the Founding Fathers would think an American citizen would resort to burning a flag as a means to make grievances known, I’m pretty sure they might not object to it as much as many on the Right do.
Meanwhile back at the main point, the President’s Executive Order suggests he doesn’t agree with the Supreme Court and wants to make the practice illegal all over America. Having a President at odds with the High Court isn’t anything new, but at least with Trump it’s entertaining.
As predictable as a weather forecast from, oh, now, the Left is rushing to defend flag burning using the First Amendment as a shield. Which, of course, is to be expected and supported…up to a point. More on that later.
Protest has been a part of the American life since, well, before there was a United States of America. Our very foundation was an act of defiance against England, and we’ve weathered the storms of everything from the Whiskey Rebellion to whatever the hell you want to call Queen Kamala the Appointed’s 2024 Presidential run. America isn’t a Fabrege egg; we are built on being able to take an asswhupping, standing up, and saying, “I can do this all day.“
And if you can’t trust America’s Ass, I don’t know who you could trust.
With all that being said, the Left has a teensy little issue regarding the desecration of a flag. And by teensy, I mean a rainbow colored or an off colored one. Seems the Left is perfectly fine burning, destroying, pissing on, or otherwise not respecting the American flag, but don’t you dare do anything to a gay or trans pride flag! That would be horrible, a sign of a deranged person consumed by sheer hatred of what that flag represents.
You know, like how the Right feels about people burning the American flag?
So, I hope you Leftists out there will excuse me for telling you to take a seat. Or two. Or a few million for that matter. And if you don’t excuse me, take the fucking seats anyway because you have fewer legs to stand on than Lieutenant Dan.
The Right is only marginally better than the Left here because they’re just playing by the rules the Left have set regarding flag burning, except for the American flag. That’s the issue a lot of people today have with the First Amendment, particularly the freedom of speech part. The First Amendment is supposed to protect all speech, even speech you find wrong. Today, you’re more likely to find a coherent sentence from President Brick Tamland than you are to find someone who actually understands this concept.
And since I’m one of them, the former President has some catching up to do.
So, we’re left with both the Left and the Right not getting this concept well enough to leave well enough alone, which is not unfamiliar territory for your humble provider of bloggy goodness, unfortunately. Both extremes agree on one thing: they protect their speech and fuck anyone else’s. Of course, that’s not how it works at all. If you want free speech for yourself, you have to allow free speech for others. This isn’t Golden Corral, where you can pick and choose what you get. When it comes to free speech, it’s all or nothing.
And when it comes to flag burning, I’m all in favor of it as a form of protest. Of course, it also allows me to use my “heckler’s veto” to mock it mercilessly. Really, has anybody watched a burning flag and said, “You know, I should really change my opinion on [insert name of issue here]”? Sure, it’s provocative, but it’s as edgy as a Nerf ball these days. These days, anything less than a burning Tesla recharging station is Hot Topic-level edginess. Seriously, all you’re doing is burning a symbolic piece of fabric. It’s as revolutionary as shoes with Velcro straps.
On second thought, Velcro straps are more revolutionary. And a lot more useful, now that I think about it.
If there’s anything from the 90s that should have made a comeback, it’s Hi-C Ecto Cooler. That shit was awesome! Instead, we get…flag burning.
And the worst thing? The Left finds itself yet again on the losing end of an 80-20 issue and they don’t even know it yet. Most Americans will side with the President on flag burning because they still feel some level of pride in this country and the flag over which it waves. They don’t hate it as much as the Left does, and with all the insane shit the Left is doing and finds itself supporting, people don’t have any other choice but to side with Trump.
Fucking. Brilliant.
At least we may be able to make it rhyme this time.
HEYYYYYYYY!
Month: August 2025
In the Meme Time
Leftist memes are known for promoting half truths that prey on one’s emotions rather than using intellect to think. And this installment is no different. What is worse about this one is that the Left is taking advantage of a tragic event.
This is of course about the school shooting that happened in Minnesota on Wednesday morning. So we are going to start with the identity of the shooter and what the Left has not told you.
The shooter’s name is Robert, he had it changed to Robin in 2019 because he came out as a transgender female. And since the Left wants to celebrate this mental illness instead of treating it. They would rather you not know this madman thought he was a woman.
Robert/Robin was also a former student of the very Catholic school that he shot up and killed students and injured others during their morning Mass. He knew the school well. He knew they would be at morning Mass. This is a premeditated hate-filled attack on the school. And the Left doesn’t want you to know it.
Then there is the messages on the weapons and ammunition. The statements above are indeed correct. But again the Left doesn’t want you to know everything. Especially when it goes against the narrative. Mr Westman had written “Kill Donald Trump” on the gun as well. These images are ones the Left would just disappear.
Definitely an Anti-Trump Transgender activist. But not one who is an illegal alien or lawful immigrant. He was not a known member of any Antifa movement or radicalized by Isis. But he was radicalized by the Leftist Trans movement.
He is certainly not a right-wing anything. He is firmly Left-wing. There is no evidence indicating that he is a “white nationalist.” This is just race baiting by the meme’s Leftist creator. Not that any white nationalist group would accept a transgender member anyway.
Yes, he is indeed a homegrown terrorist who is mentally ill. And so are nearly all the others. Most of the recent school shooters have all been radicalized by the Leftist Trans movement.
But the Left doesn’t want you to know that. They keep it hidden. When they talk about this most recent shooter. They call him by male pronouns even though he identified as a female. Because it doesn’t fit the narrative.
We know who the shooters are. We know that lately most have all been Leftist Trans and not a single one are right wing or anything close to it. They are all mentally ill.
Leftist Lexicon Word of the Week
This week the Left was all abuzz about mail in ballots after President Donald “South Park Is Irrelevant” Trump announced he would “lead a movement” to ban the use of them for the 2026 midterm elections. As easy as it would be to whip out an occasionally funny, yet bitingly accurate blog post about it, I wanted to focus on an issue that hasn’t had a lot of play, but is more disturbing than a Jeffrey Epstein snuff film.
Too soon?
The issue is a little something the kids like to call debanking. It’s been a definite issue within conservative circles, but the Left has defended it, citing how dangerous those being debanked really are. So, is it an ideologically-based system of discrimination or is it the exercise of freedom of association, or lack thereof? Let’s find out!
debanking
What the Left thinks it means – banks deciding not to deal with problematic customers
What it really means – the Left using regulatory pressure to deny customers access to banking systems
Yes, I know this isn’t as sexy as mail in ballots, so I’ll try to keep things entertaining. And, yes, I will actually try this time.
Having worked in the mortgage industry for 15 years (15 long, grueling, thankless, and not mentally healthy years), I know about banking regulations. Probably a lot more than you would care to know. Contrary to popular Leftist belief, banks are heavily regulated with a multitude of government agencies that will fine you if you sneeze too loudly in their general vicinity. (Obviously, I’m exaggerating here, but I wouldn’t be surprised if the government didn’t have regulations for just such a purpose.)
Why do I bring this up? First, to pad out this piece a bit. But second, to give you a glimpse into the various factors that can drive a bank to do anything. You know, like giving out mortgage loans to people who couldn’t afford a cardboard box let alone a home because racism or something. And who cares if they’re a bigger credit risk than Charlie Sheen on a coke bender with a black American Express card? Get those people into homes and fuck fiscal responsibility!
We saw how well that turned out during the 2008 mortgage crisis.
That’s the pervasive power of the federal government at work. If any bank wants to stay in business, they’re pretty much stuck into having to do what the government says. That’s like letting a room full of monkeys write Shakespeare: you may get the desired result, but there will definitely be shit all over the walls.
This brings us to the Leftist perspective on government regulation. To them, regulation is the great equalizer for the injustice they see in their tiny little hivemind. If you can’t persuade someone to act the way the Left wants you to act, the force of law will do just fine. I wonder if there’s been a recent President who could weigh in on this…
And in this case, it’s not the one you’re thinking of, probably.
For this one, we need to go all the way back to 2013 with a little thing I’d like to call Operation Choke Point. Back in the days when “Hope” and “Change” were akin to brilliant political strategy, the Department of Justice started cracking down on banks for doing business with certain accounts that allegedly had high probability of fraud or money laundering. Some of these naughty vendors were ammunition sellers, firearms sellers, and “racist materials,” among other more likely fraudulent vendors.
Now, riddle me this, Batman! What do those three types of vendors in particular have in common, at least to the Left? They all lean to the right more than a runner trying to steal second base. By putting these groups into such a list, it punished them by forcing banks not to do business with them. Although Operation Choke Hold ended in 2017, the damage had already been done.
This is the end result of debanking: not just to punish wrongthink, but to make the targets suffer for their wrongthink. Granted, I won’t shed a tear for some of those people who were debanked like Nick Fuentes (who is a total piece of racist disingenuous shit), but I can still call out how wrong it was for the government to do that to him and so many others. As long as what they were doing was legal, the federal government had no business interfering in the business of others.
Of course, that never stops the federal government.
And what about President Brick Tamland? He was Vice President when this shit went down before, but surely he didn’t have a role in it this time…oh, wait, he did. This time, the Trump family were some of the ones being debanked. I’m gonna go out on a limb here and say that may be the reason why the President put out an Executive Order outlawing the practice. And that may be why the heads of major banks are snitching on the Obama and Tamblin Administrations saying they were forced into it due to political pressure.
Now, I’m not the first person to jump in front of a metaphorical bullet for the big banks, but in this case I’m inclined to believe them. Not that it lets them off the hook, mind you. Even if your business is threatened by government agencies, you do have the right to say “no.” Oh, and blab to whomever will listen about how the federal government is forcing you to do something against your will that would negatively impact law-abiding citizens.
“But don’t they have a social responsibility not to associate with bad people, you racist bastard” the Left might ask. To address that, let me point out the concept of freedom of association. In short, people are free to associate or not associate with whomever they want, and the same applies to groups. In the case of debanking, the freedom of association gets beat down by a perceived mob outside our doors.
People are social animals by nature. We have a need to belong to something, and those in power know that. So, when our sense of belonging gets threatened by, say, an 800 pound gorilla known as the federal government, our natural instinct is to comply, even if we know it’s not the right thing to do. And when the Left has cornered the market on calling anyone to the right of Bernie Sanders a Nazi, it’s easy to give in and save ourselves the headaches.
Of course, this comes with a catch. The Left will continue to monitor you and raise the red flag whenever they think you deviate from their version of the right thing to do. Social media platforms are full of keyboard warriors and harassment networks designed to keep things Leftist whenever possible. That kind of pressure can be hard to ignore, let alone overcome.
But, more and more people and companies are giving Leftist complainers the one finger salute, and sometimes even two if they’re feeling generous. And just between you and me, I tend to be very generous, if you know what I mean.
And if you do, could you let me know? Kthanks!
The power the Left has tends to be more imaginary than actual. They’re like wild animals who puff themselves up to look bigger to scare off predators, but all it takes is for one predator to say “fuck that shit” and the illusion goes away faster than Queen Kamala the Appointed’s chances of winning back the White House in my lifetime.
That’s the way to handle the Left’s mob mentality: pay it no mind. The Left hates it when you live your life without their meddling and it only makes them madder and shriller which ultimately makes you look better because you’re unfazed by their antics.
However, I understand where the banks are coming from. Even with a new President and new appointees in different roles, the rank and file don’t change and may dig in even more to hold onto what little power they actually have. That means the same assholes who participated in Operation Choke Hold are likely still in their positions and will continue to cause whatever pain they can to the big banks because reasons.
This is where debanking is at its most insidious. To end the practice, you must remove the practitioners. As long as there’s one asshole in a position to make debanking a thing, it will be a thing.
And to my Leftists readers out there, this is not a call to violence. The people who made debanking a thing need to be removed and prosecuted, civilly or criminally, for violating people’s and group’s rights to access services when engaged in lawful activities. Only when those activities get into the illegal category does the government have any business getting involved. That’s the way it’s worked for centuries in this country, and it worked pretty well until Leftists got involved.
We’ll see if President Trump’s Executive Order on debanking has any teeth in time, but I’m not popping the champagne yet. There are too many entrenched interests involved to make them stop the practice, and given the President’s first round of draining the swamp, I’m not confident debanking will be done away with anytime soon.
Not to worry, though. I’m still generous with my one finger salutes.
Leftist Lexicon Word of the Week
As the Left goes further Left (i.e. insane), their grasp on reality gets looser than the slots at the world’s least profitable casino. And also the sluts at the aforementioned casinos. Not that I know anything about either, mind you…
This week, the Left found themselves having to explain away crime rates in Washington, DC, after President Donald “the J Stands for Jenius” Trump authorized the federal takeover of Washington, DC’s police department. Whether this was a good idea or a letting-Adam-Kinzinger-teach-you-about-how-to-be-a-man-level bad idea is subject to debate. But it allows us to take a closer look at our nation’s capital and crack a few jokes in the process, so it’s all good on my side!
Washington, DC
What the Left thinks it means – the seat of our government and a well-run and safe city
What it really means – a wretched hive of scum and villainy that makes Mos Eisley look like Amish Country
Washington, DC’s history begins in part with the history of our nation. With the reading, writing, and ratification of the US Constitution, we finally had a seat of government, thanks to Article I, Section 8, Clause 17:
To exercise exclusive Legislation in all Cases whatsoever, over such District (not exceeding ten Miles square) as may, by Cession of particular States, and the Acceptance of Congress, become the Seat of Government of the United States, and to exercise like Authority over all Places purchased by the Consent of the Legislature of the State in which the Same shall be, for the Erection of Forts, Magazines, Arsenals, dock-Yards, and other needful Buildings;–And
And things went downhill from there.
Wait, that’s not exactly fair. There were a few good years in there, and then things went downhill. Today, the capital city is a mixture of Beverly Hills and Belfast after an IRA bender. Depending on who you ask, crime is either the biggest problem there or not a problem at all.
The latter position is the one the Left is going with, by the way.
So, what is the truth? Let’s just say Belfast after an IRA bender is looking a lot like Club Med at times. According to the Department of Justice under President Brick Tamland, crime in DC is at a 30 year low. Others outside of the Leftist hivemind say DC is a dangerous city. But the ones who are often closest to the problem (i.e. the citizens) give a less-than-rosy picture.
From fatal beatings of cancer patients to violent crime victims not being tended to by the police department to a handful of unsolved homicide cases just this year, it’s clear there is a crime problem in Washington, DC. Even those who think DC is safe admit there are shootings.
Wait. Didn’t Washington, DC, have some of the strictest gun laws in the country? Why, yes, yes they did. So surely the people who are concerned about shootings in DC are wrong, right?
Not according to one of the Left’s favorite gun confiscation…I mean control organizations, Everytown for Gun Safety. Their statistics show DC had the 6th highest rate of gun deaths in the entire country.
But surely, those have to be the worst of the criminal activity there, right? Well, unless you count carjacking, which spiked in DC in 2023 and is still an ongoing problem to this day.
The Left is correct to a point about crime declining since 2023. Where they’re not quite telling the truth is omitting a longer time frame for us to study. If we look at numbers beyond 2023, many crimes skyrocketed while few declined. And when you consider the multitude of victim services organizations designed to help people affected by criminal behavior, the logic that Washington, DC, is safe isn’t logicing.
Most of this can be chalked up to political bullshit. Democrats like Chuck Schumer say the crime situation isn’t that bad. Of course, when you’re behind armed security, it’s easy to feel safe or even think you’re a badass. Then again, Leftists think Eric “Fang Fang’s Bitch” Swalwell is a badass, so take that for what you will.
As bad at all of this is, there’s no way it could get any worse, right? I mean, the only way it could get worse would be if a DC Police commander got accused of fudging the numbers to make them appear better.
Oh, wait…
Even if the allegations prove to be more of a nothingburger than having “Kamala Harris speech writer” on your resume, the fact remains DC citizens aren’t buying the spin because it doesn’t match their lived experience. You know, that thing Leftists like to drag out to justify their bullshit social/racial/gender/sexual orientation/whatever justice ideas they want to turn into a scam…I mean a money laundering…I mean a project.
Anyway, the point is the “lowest crime rate since 2023” is this year’s “the flaming dumpster fire of an economy really isn’t that bad” that worked out so well for Queen Kamala the Appointed and her sidekick Tim “No Balls to the” Walz last year.
And for you Leftists reading this right now, it didn’t work. Sorry you had to hear it from me, but better it from me than out on the streets. Or BlueSky, for that matter.
What the Left has to contend with right now is convincing people living in Washington, DC, that what they’re experiencing isn’t what’s really going on. This is some Matrix-level shit right here. The problem isn’t going to be solved by taking a red or blue pill, but it may have something to do with changing from blue politicians to red politicians. Since 1975, the city has had 7 Democrat Mayors and…no Republican Mayors. And if you want to find the last Republican in any meaningful leadership role in the city, you have to go back to 1961, over 60 years ago.
Now, what conclusions can we draw about the safety of Washington, DC, and who has been running the city constantly since the early 60s? I mean, it’s not like someone has compiled crime statistics from the 60s onward, right?
Oh, wait…
Even if you’re not big on making a direct correlation between the aforementioned factors, you don’t have to do that to see what one-party rule of a city has done as it pertains to quality of life. Every major city has crime, but not every major city is in the top ten of violent crime rates, and our nation’s capital came in at number 7 with a bullet. Or a lot of them as the case may be.
You don’t have to be Stevie Wonder to see it may be time for a change of leadership in Washington, DC. Where that gets complicated is in the nature of the District of Columbia itself. Since it’s not a state (not that the Left hasn’t tried to make it one), there is no state-level government to step in. It goes from city leadership to federal leadership, and right now that federal leadership is under the purview of one…Donald J. Trump.
And hilarity ensues.
And by hilarity, I mean Leftists losing their shit, which can be hilarious, so…samesies, I guess?
To be fair, I’m not that keen on any military or National Guard presence on the streets of any community to uphold order because it can lead to a police state very easily. Or at the very least, cries of a police state from Leftists, which is pretty much a given anytime Trump applies even a little pressure on the Leftist hivemind.
This is why I urge caution to anyone who supports Trump’s actions in Washington, DC. You own what happens, good and bad. If you take out a street gang, do it by the book, not by what you wish would happen to them. If you find and detain illegal immigrants, always assume the world is watching and leave zero wiggle room for the critics to complain
And if people could act like they should all the time, DC wouldn’t have a crime problem that the Left could deny.
Regardless, watch your six because you never know who will be there to catch you in a momentary lapse of reason (or some other Pink Floyd album for that matter).
To the Leftists out there who say Washington, DC, is safe, show us by going into some of the rougher neighborhoods with a camera crew and documenting everything you see via live video. Then, we can see for ourselves.
Of course, that’s as likely as Hunter Biden learning how to paint a still life, so I guess we’re fucked there.
Leftist Lexicon Word of the Week
Remember the old saying, “Everything’s bigger in Texas”? This week, we saw that was true of political theater.
In a rare mid-decade move, Texas Republicans drew up a redistricting plan that would result in 5 new Republican districts. And because he’s Trump, the President also weighed in, which only added fuel to the fire. As a result of all of this and to prevent a quorum, Texas Democrats took their balls (yes, even the women) and went home. And by home, I mean Illinois.
Because the Left can’t stop bringing up race, Texas Democrats and their national counterparts called this redistricting proposal into gerrymandering that will negatively affect…wait for it…minorities! And since the Left brought it up, we’re going to have to revisit gerrymandering for no other reason than to see the Left have fewer legs to stand on than the unluckiest pirate ever.
gerrymandering
What the Left thinks it means – the only way Republicans can win elections: dishonestly
What it really means – the only way Leftists can win elections: drawing districts like a toddler with a marker and a sugar rush
The concept of gerrymandering isn’t all that new and it started where good ideas and bad execution (i.e. the Big Dig, Ted Kennedy’s driving, the Boston Red Sox, etc.) sometimes go, Massachusetts. Back in the 19th Century, then-Governor Elbridge Gerry signed a bill in 1812 approving a radical redistricting plan for state senate. One Boston Gazette blurb later, and we have a term that’s still being used (or misused, as the case may be) to this very day.
Now, let’s deal with the elephant (and the donkey) in the room. In recent years, any redistricting meets the literal definition of a gerrymander, which is to redraw district lines to maximize the likelihood of one party overpowering all others. That’s part and parcel of modern politics because both major parties want to fuck each other almost as much as they love to fuck the rest of us. And nowhere is that more evident than in the legislative branch. Not so much in the Senate or the state-level equivalents of the Senate because of the way they’re structured, but with the other side?
It’s Fuck-You-Palooza.
If there’s a science to drawing Congressional districts, it’s closer to the Al Gore/Michael Mann “hockey stick graph” variety because the way they’re drawn makes no sense. But there is one thing that cannot be denied: it bears no resemblance to actually representing people in the best possible way.
And leading the way on this front are…Democrats. I know! I never saw this coming!
For decades, Democrats have been drawing districts to have more blacks in Congress because they believe only blacks can represent other blacks. Well, except if the candidate is a black Republican, that is. Then, apparently blacks can only be represented by white Leftists.
Anyway, the point is Leftist redistricting is a nightmare that makes it impossible for any Republican to get so much as a toehold, let alone a foothold, in any Democrat-run district. That makes it pretty much a hereditary kingdom where the leaders get to stay in power as long as they’re breathing, and sometimes even beyond.
That’s why the Texas Democrats running to Illinois to prevent a quorum falls flat for me. Their side has been doing this shit for decades without so much as a twitter (or is it X?) of concern. You see, when they do it, it’s perfectly fine, but when it’s Republicans doing it, it’s the end of democracy as we know it.
Of course, we don’t have a democracy to end, but that’s not the point. The point is Democrats have a double standard, which should surprise no one outside of the Leftist hivemind. This is evident in how Democrats have decided to do if the Texas redistricting plan goes forward. To combat gerrymandering, they’re…going to gerrymander some more.
Fucking brilliant.
The issue Democrats face (aside from being total vindictive asshats) is they’ve pretty much gerrymandered their states to the point there’s nowhere else to gerrymander. For example, California’s Congressional districts are dominated by the Left (which explains in part why the state is a shithole), but if Governor Gavin Newsom gets his way, California Republicans will have to contact the federal government to register as an endangered species.
And other states like New York and Illinois are threatening to follow suit. Although they’re not even on the list of most gerrymandered states, that’s for one pretty big reason: they’re already gerrymandered all to fuck. New York State has 19 Democrat-led districts to 7 Republican-led districts and Illinois has 14 Democrat-led districts to 3 Republican-led districts.
In other words, Democrat gerrymandering is about to crash headlong into the law of diminishing returns. And the maps are going to look even more screwed up, all because the Left has to say “Texas is gerrymandering? Well, fuck you, we’ll do it, too!”
Granted, we’re dealing with the balance of power in the House of Representatives. Right now, Republicans hold a 220-213 edge over Democrats with 2 vacant seats pending the results of special elections later this year. That means every seat now and potential seat in the future is essential. That is the driving force behind the Left and the Right going gerrymandering-crazy all of the sudden. The Right wants control to continue President Trump’s agenda and the Left wants control to hamstring it. Or, do like they did last time they had control of the House and throw up more impeachment bullshit that wouldn’t pass muster at a preschool debate.
Each state has the power to conduct its redistricting in a manner it sees fit, including committees, leaving it to the state legislatures, or some combination thereof. In some cases, that’s like letting your arsonist uncle Joe Bob plan the family barbecue. In others, it’s like letting your cannibal uncle Jim Bob do the same. Regardless, it makes for some odd thought patterns and a really awkward Thanksgiving dinner.
Although I do have to admit the idea of a redistricting commission is promising, but I don’t think it should be done by politicians. And with today’s political divide making the Hatfields and McCoys look like a minor quibble between Canadians, we can’t necessarily leave it in the hands of the people. Instead, I think it should be done by the only people in this country who understand what it takes to build something meaningful.
That’s right. I’m talking about Minecraft players. Redistricting is essentially Minecraft, the Home Game anyway, so why not take that step? It ain’t the worst thing you can do because we’re actually doing the worst thing you can do right now.
While the Left has every reason to complain about Texas’s redistricting and calling it gerrymandering, they have to realize they have some ‘splainin’ to do when it comes to their own practices and at least come up with an explanation that doesn’t involve blaming Trump.
In other words, they got nothing.
Leftist Lexicon Word of the Week
The previous week or two has been filled with the shrieking of Leftist harpies. Granted this isn’t an unusual occurrence in the Age of Trump 2.0, but this time it had nothing to do with the President.
This week it was all about blue jeans.
Or, more specifically who was wearing them. I’m talking about the current it-girl, Sydney Sweeney, and her ads for American Eagle jeans. The tagline is “Sydney Sweeney has good jeans,” which is a clever play on words. Well, apparently if you think that way, you’ve heard a dog whistle about racism, Nazis, another Nickelback album…you know, all the horrible things wrapped into one denim-covered box.
Since I’ve heard the phrase “dog whistle” more times than Michael Moore goes back for more food at an All-You-Can-Eat Buffet paid for by Bernie Sanders, I figured it might be a good time to update the Lexicon with a new entry.
dog whistle
What the Left thinks it means – subtle coding for extremist views
What it really means – a well-worn phrase that doesn’t mean what the Left thinks it means
When there’s a new term I need to get the details on, I go to where all the hip kids go for definitions, Urban Dictionary. Although there are numerous definitions of the term, they tend to have a common theme: it’s secret code. You know, like the secret codes you would find on the back of the fun cereal boxes, only edgier? I mean, that is unless you were eating Sugar Frosted Fascists cereal.
Anyway, the suggestion is once a certain segment of the population hears these secret messages it encourages the ones in the know to take certain actions to further whatever cause the dog whistle is geared towards. A racist dog whistle might cause some people to burn a cross, scrawl graffiti in certain neighborhoods, or, horror of horrors, vote Republican. A fascist dog whistle might cause some people to hate Jewish people, scrawl graffiti on synagogues, or…
No, wait. That last one tends to lean more Left these days. Never mind.
The key here is the message only gets to certain people. Others won’t be affected by it because they’re not in the target group, not unlike an actual dog whistle. Time to put on my lab coat and pretend to be more of a scientist than Bill Nye.
When you blow into a dog whistle, it emits a high-pitched sound that humans can’t hear, but your pupper Spot can. Or whatever your dog’s name is. Dog whistles don’t discriminate, which is more than I can say for the Democratic National Committee, who seems to discriminate against competent and sane people.
In other words, in order for your dog to respond to a dog whistle, he or she has to hear it in the first place. Which means if Leftists keep calling out all of these dog whistles they hear but no one else can…
The Party of Science, kids!
Seriously, though, the use of metaphorical dog whistles is a tactic of the Left to get you to think of something in certain terms. With the American Eagle jeans ads, the Left wants you to conflate jeans with genes since they sound the same. From there, the Left extrapolates having good jeans is akin to wanting good genes, which leads right into white supremacy and Nazis because, well, those seem to be the only words Leftists know these days.
Meanwhile in the not-bat-shit-insane portion of the world, it’s neither. As with many things Leftists get upset about, you have to read a lot of context and sub-context and sub-sub-context and Voyage-To-the-Bottom-of-the-Sea- context to get anywhere close to what the Left wants us to think/feel about a matter.
And it’s never a positive thing. No matter what, the dog whistles only go in a negative direction. Leftists never talk about a dog whistle that inspires people to buy ice cream when it’s hot. That’s because a) they can’t frame ice cream in racial terms (no, not even vanilla), b) they are joyless fucks, and c) they’re too busy bitching about climate change to enjoy ice cream.
When you look at the world through the Leftist perspective, you’re going to be sad and/or pissed. That means even the most innocuous thing will have evil intent in the Leftist hivemind, even if it’s more imaginary than actual. That’s how George W. Bush and Mitt Romney became Nazis in spite of exhibiting zero fascist tendencies, only to have them become the elder statesmen of the anti-Trump right that even Leftists can stomach. Which makes them Nazi sympathizers when you really think about it.
Sorry, Leftists. You made the rules. I’m just here to apply them evenly.
There’s an old saying: “If all you have is a hammer, everything looks like a nail.” Not only does that make shop class a lot more interesting, but it definitely applies to the Left calling everything from Tesla to American Eagle jeans “Nazi.” And that goes double for the “dog whistles” the Left keeps hearing. The more you have to explain how something is racist, sexist, homophobic, Nazi, etc., the less likely it is to be that.
The audience at my last stand up show can tell you that. That’s the last time I do a gig in a coma ward.
Even if you allow the current sociopolitical climate is ripe for Nazi rhetoric (which I do to an extent), you’d still have a pretty rough task ahead of you trying to explain how the tagline and Sydney Sweeney herself is even close to being literal Nazis. Mainly because they’re not. It’s a clever slogan, and as the advertising and prostitution industries know all too well, sex sells. Sure, I’m sure there is a jean market for pansexual paraplegic albino Alaskan amputees, but if that’s your entire focus, you’re going to lose money faster than Hunter Biden loses his crack. You have to appeal to the larger market, and for now Sydney Sweeney is what brings boys (or at least their mothers and sisters) to the yard.
So, if you’re a Leftist reading this, just drop the dog whistle rhetoric on this one. You’re making yourselves look like fucking idiots, and I say that as one. All this complaining is drawing more attention to the ads and the product and has already caused American Eagle’s stock prices to rise. In other words, the same thing that happened to albums and CDs with the content warning labels from the 1980s. You could have just learned the lesson Tipper Gore did, but nooooooo. You just had to turn an innocuous tagline into a giant rake you keep stepping on and getting smacked in the head. Brilliant fucking work, kids.
I paraphrase Sigmund Freud: sometimes a hot woman in jeans is just a hot woman in jeans.