As the Left goes further Left (i.e. insane), their grasp on reality gets looser than the slots at the world’s least profitable casino. And also the sluts at the aforementioned casinos. Not that I know anything about either, mind you…
This week, the Left found themselves having to explain away crime rates in Washington, DC, after President Donald “the J Stands for Jenius” Trump authorized the federal takeover of Washington, DC’s police department. Whether this was a good idea or a letting-Adam-Kinzinger-teach-you-about-how-to-be-a-man-level bad idea is subject to debate. But it allows us to take a closer look at our nation’s capital and crack a few jokes in the process, so it’s all good on my side!
Washington, DC
What the Left thinks it means – the seat of our government and a well-run and safe city
What it really means – a wretched hive of scum and villainy that makes Mos Eisley look like Amish Country
Washington, DC’s history begins in part with the history of our nation. With the reading, writing, and ratification of the US Constitution, we finally had a seat of government, thanks to Article I, Section 8, Clause 17:
To exercise exclusive Legislation in all Cases whatsoever, over such District (not exceeding ten Miles square) as may, by Cession of particular States, and the Acceptance of Congress, become the Seat of Government of the United States, and to exercise like Authority over all Places purchased by the Consent of the Legislature of the State in which the Same shall be, for the Erection of Forts, Magazines, Arsenals, dock-Yards, and other needful Buildings;–And
And things went downhill from there.
Wait, that’s not exactly fair. There were a few good years in there, and then things went downhill. Today, the capital city is a mixture of Beverly Hills and Belfast after an IRA bender. Depending on who you ask, crime is either the biggest problem there or not a problem at all.
The latter position is the one the Left is going with, by the way.
So, what is the truth? Let’s just say Belfast after an IRA bender is looking a lot like Club Med at times. According to the Department of Justice under President Brick Tamland, crime in DC is at a 30 year low. Others outside of the Leftist hivemind say DC is a dangerous city. But the ones who are often closest to the problem (i.e. the citizens) give a less-than-rosy picture.
From fatal beatings of cancer patients to violent crime victims not being tended to by the police department to a handful of unsolved homicide cases just this year, it’s clear there is a crime problem in Washington, DC. Even those who think DC is safe admit there are shootings.
Wait. Didn’t Washington, DC, have some of the strictest gun laws in the country? Why, yes, yes they did. So surely the people who are concerned about shootings in DC are wrong, right?
Not according to one of the Left’s favorite gun confiscation…I mean control organizations, Everytown for Gun Safety. Their statistics show DC had the 6th highest rate of gun deaths in the entire country.
But surely, those have to be the worst of the criminal activity there, right? Well, unless you count carjacking, which spiked in DC in 2023 and is still an ongoing problem to this day.
The Left is correct to a point about crime declining since 2023. Where they’re not quite telling the truth is omitting a longer time frame for us to study. If we look at numbers beyond 2023, many crimes skyrocketed while few declined. And when you consider the multitude of victim services organizations designed to help people affected by criminal behavior, the logic that Washington, DC, is safe isn’t logicing.
Most of this can be chalked up to political bullshit. Democrats like Chuck Schumer say the crime situation isn’t that bad. Of course, when you’re behind armed security, it’s easy to feel safe or even think you’re a badass. Then again, Leftists think Eric “Fang Fang’s Bitch” Swalwell is a badass, so take that for what you will.
As bad at all of this is, there’s no way it could get any worse, right? I mean, the only way it could get worse would be if a DC Police commander got accused of fudging the numbers to make them appear better.
Oh, wait…
Even if the allegations prove to be more of a nothingburger than having “Kamala Harris speech writer” on your resume, the fact remains DC citizens aren’t buying the spin because it doesn’t match their lived experience. You know, that thing Leftists like to drag out to justify their bullshit social/racial/gender/sexual orientation/whatever justice ideas they want to turn into a scam…I mean a money laundering…I mean a project.
Anyway, the point is the “lowest crime rate since 2023” is this year’s “the flaming dumpster fire of an economy really isn’t that bad” that worked out so well for Queen Kamala the Appointed and her sidekick Tim “No Balls to the” Walz last year.
And for you Leftists reading this right now, it didn’t work. Sorry you had to hear it from me, but better it from me than out on the streets. Or BlueSky, for that matter.
What the Left has to contend with right now is convincing people living in Washington, DC, that what they’re experiencing isn’t what’s really going on. This is some Matrix-level shit right here. The problem isn’t going to be solved by taking a red or blue pill, but it may have something to do with changing from blue politicians to red politicians. Since 1975, the city has had 7 Democrat Mayors and…no Republican Mayors. And if you want to find the last Republican in any meaningful leadership role in the city, you have to go back to 1961, over 60 years ago.
Now, what conclusions can we draw about the safety of Washington, DC, and who has been running the city constantly since the early 60s? I mean, it’s not like someone has compiled crime statistics from the 60s onward, right?
Oh, wait…
Even if you’re not big on making a direct correlation between the aforementioned factors, you don’t have to do that to see what one-party rule of a city has done as it pertains to quality of life. Every major city has crime, but not every major city is in the top ten of violent crime rates, and our nation’s capital came in at number 7 with a bullet. Or a lot of them as the case may be.
You don’t have to be Stevie Wonder to see it may be time for a change of leadership in Washington, DC. Where that gets complicated is in the nature of the District of Columbia itself. Since it’s not a state (not that the Left hasn’t tried to make it one), there is no state-level government to step in. It goes from city leadership to federal leadership, and right now that federal leadership is under the purview of one…Donald J. Trump.
And hilarity ensues.
And by hilarity, I mean Leftists losing their shit, which can be hilarious, so…samesies, I guess?
To be fair, I’m not that keen on any military or National Guard presence on the streets of any community to uphold order because it can lead to a police state very easily. Or at the very least, cries of a police state from Leftists, which is pretty much a given anytime Trump applies even a little pressure on the Leftist hivemind.
This is why I urge caution to anyone who supports Trump’s actions in Washington, DC. You own what happens, good and bad. If you take out a street gang, do it by the book, not by what you wish would happen to them. If you find and detain illegal immigrants, always assume the world is watching and leave zero wiggle room for the critics to complain
And if people could act like they should all the time, DC wouldn’t have a crime problem that the Left could deny.
Regardless, watch your six because you never know who will be there to catch you in a momentary lapse of reason (or some other Pink Floyd album for that matter).
To the Leftists out there who say Washington, DC, is safe, show us by going into some of the rougher neighborhoods with a camera crew and documenting everything you see via live video. Then, we can see for ourselves.
Of course, that’s as likely as Hunter Biden learning how to paint a still life, so I guess we’re fucked there.
