Tag: balanced budget amendment

It’s fall again! Time for white women to gather at Starbucks for Pumpkin Spice lattes, men to take over the biggest TV in their homes to watch football every weekend, and for Congress to fuck up one of the only jobs it has: keeping the doors open.

Yes, I know I’ve talked about this recently and in the past, but it seems every year or so, we have to go through this bizarre Kabuki theater where one party claims the other one is shutting down government because they’re big meany-heads, and the other is claiming the first party is wasting money on stupid shit and is holding their collective breaths to get what they want.

And every time it happens, it’s Republicans’ fault.

So, how exactly are we keeping the government running, or more precisely, limping along like a dry snail? Through Continuing Resolutions, of course! And what are they exactly?

Nothing good.

Continuing Resolutions

What the Left thinks it means – a way to keep the government running because Republicans don’t want to negotiate

What the Right thinks it means – a way to keep the government running because Democrats don’t want to negotiate

What it really means – a way for both major parties to keep spending without having to w0rry about passing an actual budget

Back in the good old days when men were men and women were men and everybody was really confused, Congress would get together to hammer out what they wanted to spend on what. After they agreed, they sent the final proposal to the President, who lent his John Hancock to the bill and it became law. Of course, John Hancock was never President because I’m guessing his peers were afraid his signature would take up most of the page.

That changed in the late 20th and early 21st Century when Congress realized it didn’t need to pass a budget to spend money; they could just do it. Then, the spend-a-palooza began. Although it kept the government from shutting down (which is like saying your least favorite gynecologist isn’t retiring anytime soon, only much more invasive), it started a trend where Congress could forego budget battles in favor of…well, Continuing Resolution battles.

And what it turned into since then was giving a coke fiend a credit card to buy cocaine, then use the card to cut the cocaine into lines and snort them. Not that I know anything about that, mind you…

Anyway, the point is Congress got to do two of its favorite things to do: spend money, and bitch about how the other party is being unreasonable, but we’re the ones stuck with the tab at the end of the coke binge…I mean night.

The insidious part of all this is it’s perfectly within the duties of Congress as laid out in the Constitution. Article I Section 8 gives Congress the power to spend money. It doesn’t say how that money has to be spent, nor does it require a budget of any kind. As smart as they were, the Founding Fathers never envisioned a time when politicians would be as ruthlessly devious as they are today. Back then, they had these things called honors, morals, and accountability to those who put them in power. Much to their credit, they knew the fallibility of human nature and tried to safeguard us from excess where they could.

Then, we had to go and elect assholes to fuck up that shit.

The best way I can describe the difference between a budget and a Continuing Resolution is this. When somebody sits down and creates a budget, it’s meant to be a guideline to follow and find areas where expenses can be cut or revenue opportunities arise. A Continuing Resolution is more like a payday loan place. They don’t care how you spend the money as long as you pay it back with interest higher than the GDP of every first world country combined.

And that’s if the payday loan place likes you!

Meanwhile back in Washington, Continuing Resolutions has made it possible for Congress to keep kicking the can down the road without ever having to deal with the consequences. Namely, having to keep to a budget. This leads to overspending on stupid shit, like…oh I don’t know…funding health care for illegal immigrants. But I’m sure there are no Congresscritters so fucking dumb as to do that…oh, wait…

And that’s one of the biggest problems with the Continuing Resolution practice: the entire process can get derailed by partisan bullshit. I know! I’m shocked that politics is involved in what should be a non-political action, too!

As much as I like to see government get slashed like it went through an abattoir, I also understand there are human beings affected by the political posturing. No matter what gets funded while the two major parties squander what little money we actually have, someone will always get fucked in the end. And not in the fun way with lube, dim lights, and romantic music. Not that I know anything about that, mind you…

And the worst, yet unfortunately predictable, part? None of these motherfuckers care. No matter who gets hurt, the Left and the Right will continue to battle over trifles that don’t benefit most Americans, but will line their pockets with cash from donors.

The only way to break the cycle is to admit we have a problem. Well, more than one problem, but you get the idea. Continuing Resolutions should be the exception and not the rule. They should be used only in emergencies, not because one of the parties wants to spend money on a particular matter like saving PBS or funding more ICE agents. We need to do a better job at tightening our federal belts instead of going to the tailor to get the waistline taken out a little. And by a little I mean a lot.

One idea that I’m quite fond of is a balanced budget amendment. Not only would it require Congress to pass a budget, but it would have to be one that actually balances.

Yes, Congresscritters, that means you are going to have to give up some of your toys so we can serve the greater good.

The only drawback I see to this is the same kind of dishonest accounting that got Arthur Andersen in trouble, but continues to drive the Continuing Resolution train. When dishonest people have the power to spend money, they will always find a way to fudge the numbers so much you’d think the accounting firm is out of Hershey, Pennsylvania.

That’s where a new and improved DOGE comes into play. To ensure the budget is actually balanced, there have to be actual cuts, not just reductions to proposed increases. Where there’s waste, cut it. Where there’s redundancy, consolidate it with a department or agency where it makes sense. We don’t need 14 different divisions under 50 different agencies doing the same damn thing.

And here’s the key. The cuts must be enacted and approved by the beginning of the new fiscal year. If Congresscritters have time to do stupid selfies or host podcasts, they sure as shit have the time to do their jobs.

Along with this, I have a similar proposal, that being making the bills as small as possible. No more riders that have nothing to do with the bill itself. No more 1200 page bills released at the 11th hour and filled with so much pork Jewish and Muslim politicians have to avoid them. If you have a spending bill, make it easy for people to see what’s in it and voice their opinions.

Of course, none of this will get done because there’s too much riding on the Left and the Right maintaining the status quo. (Status quo is Latin for “same shit, different day.”) Why would Congress give up the absolute power to spend whatever it wants without having to worry about where the money comes from? We’re more likely to get a good Michael Bay movie before we get any significant change on the Continuing Resolution front.

At least the government gets shut down for a while, so there’s that. Yay, I guess?