The buzz around Washington DC this week was around the Congressional testimony from Special Counsel Robert Hur and his report about President Brick Tamland. The report itself is here, but the short version is the President violated the law, but the Department of Justice didn’t think he could be convicted because he’s a sympathetic doddering old fuck.
The Left has done a great job in making it seem like the Hur Report exonerated President Tamland, even going so far as to make the case Hur overstated the President’s memory problems, among other failed attempts to discredit the report and the Special Counsel. Regardless, the Hur Report and its impact on President Tamland’s Presidency (as well as Leftist sanity) is worth exploring further.
the Hur Report
What the Left thinks it means – a report from a moron that exonerates the President from hiding classified documents in various locations
What it really means – a disappointing political paradox that we should have seen coming
The life cycle of a modern political scandal is as predictable as the ending of a mystery novel written by your average social media “star.” The politician breaks laws that would get anyone else outside the ruling class thrown in prison for years. The media find out about the crimes committed and either attempts to hold the politician accountable (if he/she is a Republican or conservative) or downplay it in the hopes the scandal goes away (if he/she is a Democrat or a Leftist). People outside the media bubble find out and start asking questions. The politician and his/her handlers hold off on explaining anything until the questions get too close for comfort. Then, the politician and his/her handlers address it without actually addressing it, thus pissing off some people (namely those who think the laws should apply to everyone) and pleasing others (namely people who are a short skirt and pom-poms away from being full-blown cheerleaders). And after a little while, it all goes away, save for the gnashing of teeth who really wanted something done.
There are some variations to this framework that pop up from time to time, but it’s pretty much the same from Ronald Reagan to Brick Tamland. I mean, how long have we known Eric Swalwell slept with a suspected Chinese spy and he’s still not spending his days getting a tan at Gitmo? How many politicians wound up on Epstein Island and are still running around free? That may be the most disturbing, disgusting, and disheartening thing about all of it: no matter what, you’re more likely to get Dylan Mulvaney to stop being an attention whore than you are to get a politician to see any time on the business end of a conviction.
That brings us to the Hur Report. First off, how dare you assume the report’s gender? More importantly, th0ugh, is what the report lays out in stunning detail is just how fucked we are with President Tamland at the helm of the ship of state. Here are some choice cuts.
– The President remembered the month and day of his son’s death, but aides had to provide him with the year.
– Aides would provide information when the President seemed to be having trouble.
– The President admitted to having documents he wasn’t authorized to have, albeit with some chronological difficulty.
– He forgot when he served as Vice President.
– The President admitted to memory issues after the fact, citing his long history in government as the reason.
But I’m sure it was just his stutter.
Wait, why does the ship of state say Exxon Valdez on the side?
Seriously, these issues (among the several he’s had this year alone) paint a vivid picture of a man well past his prime trying to do a job that taxes men decades his junior. If there were ever a case for invoking the 25th Amendment, the last year or so of President Tamland’s performance would be it. On the one hand, it would get spun as a political move (which it would be anyway because Leftists). On the other it would lead to President Word Salad (which would make for worse decisions, but a better 2024 outcome for Republicans). So, pick your partisan poison, I guess.
The problem the Hur Report creates for Republicans is how weak the aftershocks make them look. President Tamland is clearly mentally diminished due to age, the onset of Alzheimer’s, or him just being dumb as a stump to begin with. Yet, Leftists keep saying he’s mentally sharp as ever. So, either he shouldn’t be President because he’s no longer capable of performing “Three Blind Mice” on a children’s toy flute let alone the country, or he shouldn’t be President because he’s corrupt as fuck.
And Republicans can’t stop tripping over their own dicks to make either case, which gives the Left an open field to make whatever case they want, such as the bullshit “he was exonerated” line that’s been repeated ad nauseum.
More to the point, though, the Hur Report and Hur himself makes the argument why President Tamland shouldn’t be allowed to be in an Office Depot, let alone the Oval Office. For all the talk he’s done about white supremacists being a major threat to the country, the biggest threat is Tamland himself. Think back to the days when Leftists called out Ronald Reagan and Donald Trump for being mentally unfit during their respective Presidencies. I’m not sure how many fucks they gave at the time, but I’m guessing it was pretty close to zero.
Now, their past is coming back to haunt them. That is, if the GOP would hold them to the standards they set. The Hur Report gives them the tools they need to put away a pretty big tool, but for some reason they’re happier making broad statements in Congressional hearings and creating viral moments than putting on their Big Congresscritter Pants and doing something other than voting for more money for Ukraine and Israel.
And people wonder why I’m voting for C’thulu/Sweet Meteor of Death 2024.
The State of the Onion Address 2024
My fellow Americans,
After listening to parts of the most recent State of the Union Address, I came to a startling revelation, and I must apologize. For years, I have been calling the President “Puddin’ Head Joe” and even wrote a parody song about it. I was wrong, and I am sorry. From this point on, I shall refrain from calling the President Puddin’ Head Joe.
Because I found a much more appropriate name.
If you remember the film “Anchorman,” you should remember the character of Brick Tamland, the weatherman as played by Steve Carrell. To put it mildly, Brick was only a step or two from being a drooling idiot. If that doesn’t describe Joe Biden right now, I don’t know what does.
Anyway, President Tamland’s SOTU Address was full of shouting, gaslighting, divisiveness, and general what-in-the-Wide-World-of-Fuck that we’ve come to expect out of the guy. But at this point I have to ask whether he’s even up to be President of the HOA, let alone the United States.
This thought by itself would get be branded as ageist, ableist, or any other -ist the Left could muster to defend their guy, but it’s time we had an intervention. President Tamland is no longer capable of being President and no amount of water-carrying by the media will change that.
Especially when you consider the same assholes telling us how sharp President Tamland is were finding any excuse they could to make former President Donald Trump look like, well, the current President.
To be fair, though, Trump may not necessarily be the best alternative, either. By the time he would take the Oath of Office for a second time (should he be reelected), he would be 78 years old, only three years younger than President Tamland is now. Although Trump hasn’t exhibited the rate of mental decline his opponent has yet, maybe it’s time we start trending younger for Presidential candidates.
Not that the next generation of Presidential hopefuls is any great intellectual leap from the current crop, mind you. As our politicians skew younger, I swear they get dumber, as evidenced by Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez and Marjorie Taylor Greene. You could combine the two and still not come up with a half-wit.
But in today’s political environment, it doesn’t matter if you’re dumber than Brittany Spears’ current social media manager. All that matters is you vote “the right way.” Then, you will get the public support of your party, even if it’s through gritted teeth and reddened faces.
This leads to the great paradox of leadership. Those who would be great at it don’t want to do it, and those who suck at it are always the first in line to run for higher office. And once they get into office, you need an act of God (or in the case of Leftists, an act of Soros) to get them out, which means the worst of the worst become our problems year after year, election after election.
And by problems, I mean embarrassments. Between Rep. Eric Swalwell sleeping with a Chinese spy (and still getting to keep his position on the House Committee on Homeland Security) and Rep. Lauren Boebert giving out handies during a musical version of “Beetlejuice,” I’m surprised we don’t need to supply DC with more cold showers or at least lengths of hose to keep these horndogs thinking more about their jobs than about getting lucky. Then again, if they’re too busy fucking each other, they won’t have time to fuck us over, so there’s that.
What I’m trying to say is America is being run by people who could limbo under the lowest of standards with plenty of room to spare. While we’re busy worrying about how to make our dollars stretch more than Amy Schumer’s yoga pants, we tend to let things like candidate quality slide. We need to do a better job of holding our elected officials accountable at every level instead of shrugging and saying, “well, the other side is worse.” Remember, the lesser of two evils is still evil, and the lesser of two incompetents is still incompetent, even if the incompetent is on “our side.”
And people wonder why I’m voting for the C’thulu/Sweet Meteor of Death 2024 ticket.
Leftist Lexicon Word of the Week
By the time you read this, Puddin’ Head Joe will have given his latest State of the Union Address where he will say we’re doing great under Bidenomics while calling out one of the biggest issues we face in America today.
Shrinkflation.
Not illegal immigration. Not the national debt ballooning to Rosie-O’Donnell-and-Michael-Moore-at-an-all-you-can-eat-buffet levels. Not fentanyl addiction, the price of goods and services, or our involvement in two wars. Getting less for the same price we paid for the same item previously.
At least Puddin’ Head Joe has his thumb firmly up his own ass or else he might be tempted to do something. In the meantime, we can talk about shrinkflation in terms even Puddin’ Head Joe can understand.
shrinkflation
What the Left thinks it means – when greedy companies charge the same price, but give consumers less
What it really means – when companies try to balance customer demand and production costs
I will warn you this is some economics talk, so if it’s not your bag, you may not want to continue. Unless you want to see me use the word “fuck” a lot. I bear no responsibility for any boredom or drowsiness you feel reading this week’s Lexicon.
With that out of the way, fuck.
When costs go up due to…oh I don’t know…a fucking idiot using our budget like the ATM at a strip club for compulsive people, companies have to figure out a way to continue doing business. Since most companies are run by people who have even a fleeting understanding of the laws of supply and demand, this sets into motion a series of decisions. Raise prices to compensate for the cost of doing business, offer less and try to keep prices lower, or do a combination of the two?
Shrinkflation is the combination of the two. Instead of charging the actual price of a good or service (which may negatively impact demand), companies will keep the price at the same level as before the cost hike, but they have to find a way to balance the cost with the price point. That usually means giving people less or taking a loss.
The other option on the shrinkflation table is to reduce the size of the packaging, thus reducing the amount you get. Granted, it’s usually a little bit here and there, but it can make all the difference if you get to the end of your package of Oreos and you’re missing one or two. And since we’re dealing with milk’s favorite cookie, that’s a sin against Man and Nature.
Now, for the people who don’t even have a Cliff’s Notes idea of the law of supply and demand (i.e. Leftists), the obvious solution is for the company to take a loss. After all, it’s just money and these companies make tons of it. The issue at hand for them is greed. In their hivemind, greed is immoral (except when it’s done to advance Leftist causes), so there is a moral obligation for companies to not make any more money than necessary.
Sound familiar? If not, let me give you a clue: it’s the entire fucking idea behind Puddin’ Head Joe’s push to deal with shrinkflation.
But wait, there’s more! Puddin’ Head Joe announced he was launching a task force to combat…“unfair and illegal pricing.” Yep, government has to get involved to help consumers. And I’m sure nothing could possibly go wrong with that. Look at the success of Obamacare!
On second thought, let’s not.
The thing is government can’t fight greed. Greed is a human trait, so combating it means fighting human nature. Of course, the government has been fighting wars on drugs and poverty for decades, so maybe the powers that be stupid think following the same script will work this time. It just needs time and money…no, wait, that’s Ukraine.
Regardless, it’s a fundamentally stupid idea that doesn’t attack the real issue. It’s not necessarily the greed of the companies that needs to be addressed, but the greed of the consumers. Whether you clip coupons like a rabbi performing brises on straight commission or look for sales and deals on items you want or need, we are all trying to get our dollars to stretch as much as we can. Especially these days when inflation is higher than Hunter Biden on any day ending in, well, “day.” That puts the producer and the buyer at an impasse, as the producer is trying to make as much money as possible without pricing themselves into oblivion.
But here’s the part the Left doesn’t understand: that’s a part of the law of supply and demand. It’s not like if a company makes one penny more than it “should” the buyer is fucked. It just means in that particular transaction, the producer (i.e. the one accepting all the risk) made a penny. Having some no-name, no-brain bureaucrat with a shiny new office and a meaningless title take that penny away isn’t going to fix the problem, but it may start a whole new problem: government taking more than just that one penny.
One of my immutable truths is “The sole purpose of any bureaucracy is to grow itself to the point it becomes irremovable.” If Puddin’ Head Joe’s task force can take away one penny of profit in the name of unfair business practices, what’s to stop it from taking another penny and another and another and so on using the same rationale? As long as there are people who believe businesses are fucking them over, there will always be a line outside the door of people willing to “stick it to The Man.”
But there comes a point where “sticking it to The Man” results in negative consequences. Just ask Walgreens and CVS, who have been plagued by continuous shoplifting in California and are pulling out of some areas only to get shamed by community leaders for trying to cut the company’s losses and closing stores in these areas. Of course, if these same community leaders gave two shits about the shoplifting and tried fixing that problem instead of bitching to Walgreens and CVS, maybe those locations wouldn’t be trying to get out in the first place.
Nahhhhh. That’s too simple. Has to be racism because…fuck you racists!
As consumers, we have to understand as prices go up for the things we buy and use, those same prices are going up to get us these things. The way Puddin’ Head Joe wants us to think ignores that reality and creates a straw man that would put Ray Bolger to shame. And, yes, if there is a company that charges the same price before Inflationpalooza but delivers only 1/100 of the product, that company should get the shit kicked out of them. But not through violence or government interference. In the place where it really matters, the free market.
And that’s where any shrinkflation should be addressed, to be honest. Money talks, bullshit walks, and Leftists balk, and it’s the best way to balance the needs and wants of all parties directly involved. And it will piss off people who don’t like the free market, so win-win!
Seriously, shrinkflation is only a problem for those who don’t get how free market capitalism works. Which means Puddin’ Head Joe is going to make it a problem, and we’re all going to feel the impact of his attempts to “fix” it.
Oh joy.
Why Can’t Johnny…You Know…Do The Thing?
As frequent readers of my posts can attest, I have a lot of criticisms of the current state of public education. Between substandard curricula that emphasize ideological indoctrination over fundamental knowledge and the quality of teachers declining faster than a dip on the tallest roller coaster ever, there is what the military would call a “target-rich environment.”
But for those who put in the work to educate children, they have another problem: children who aren’t ready to learn. Late last year, a 7th grade teacher went viral due to a video where he said many of his students had “4th grade skills” as he put it. The scary thing? This is not unique to this one teacher. After his TikTok video was posted, other teachers began posting similar horror stories about how unprepared public school students are going into higher and higher grade levels.
Part of this is due to politics, surprise surprise. Democrats and Republicans alike have advanced stupid laws with the stated purpose of improving public education, but that have made it harder for students to succeed in meaningful ways. There are two laws in particular within the past 25 years that have made this educational Hellscape possible: No Child Left Behind, and the Every Student Succeeds Act. The two laws are similar in many ways, but they also share the fact they don’t work.
That’s because they’re not intended to work on any significant level. One of my Immutable Truths is “Government is not in the problem-solving business,” mainly because there’s too much money and power to be gained by continuing the chaos. With public education, though, there’s much more damage done by continuing the status quo. Yet, to change things would require both sides to give up on their ultimate goal: to keep children as dumb as humanly possible so they can be better controlled.
Sorry. Got a little dark there.
But if you think about it, both sides of the aisle have a vested interest in keeping generations of people subservient to their side, whether it be through promised funding for pet causes or convincing their followers that non-followers are the scum of the Earth. The current environment in America makes the Hatfields and McCoys look like a water balloon fight, and the battle over public education (and what version of the curricula is being shoved down kids’ throats) isn’t helping matters.
So, this leads to a vital question: where are the parents? Welllllll…that’s a bit more complicated thanks to social media, ego, and general thoughtlessness. Think about the “Karens” and “Kevins” you may run into at the supermarket, restaurants, or well-known stores like WalMart and Target. Now, consider these folks are procreating or have procreated. In that kind of entitled environment, is it any wonder our kids are more screwed up and entitled than ever?
Not that society has done anything to discourage it, mind you. Today you’re more likely to find someone who is still playing Farmville than you are to find someone who isn’t completely obsessed with themselves. Social media and traditional media alike have made it all the rage to be the center of your universe, and anyone who tries to steal your sunshine is just a “hater.” The thing is not everyone can be in the spotlight at the same time, and the more you think you deserve it more than anyone else, the less you stay connected to reality and humanity.
So…what do you think happens when every child is amazing (just ask their parents) and can’t ever fail? You have teachers getting burnt out, frustrated, and having to vent about how unprepared students are these days.
The scary thing? They’re not wrong.
The even scarier thing? It’s been going on for decades.
Even as far back as my public school days, I could tell something was different from when my two older brothers were in school. It was almost as though the standards were starting to get looser and it was taking longer to catch up from the end of the previous school year. And compared to what my brothers had to learn, I got off easy, as they got off easy as compared to what our parents had to learn.
And now we have 7th graders who don’t even know basic math. But don’t you dare hold them back or suggest they need to study more or else their parents will ream you up and down with a rototiller. We’ve gotten to the point we’re passing underperforming students year after year because we’re more concerned with their feelings than we are about whether they’ve learned anything.
And who gets blamed if the students aren’t learning? That’s right. It’s the teachers, and in some cases it’s valid. At some point, even the most passionate teacher reaches the point of don’t give a damn anymore and tries to coast until retirement. But it’s the passionate ones we need to support because they do give a damn.
I remember the good and the bad teachers I’ve had because they’ve had an impact on my life, albeit for different reasons. I may not know a thing about trigonometry, but I wouldn’t be as logically minded without the teachers who took the time to work with me on algebra. I may not have cared about what the Gross National Product of Paraguay was, but I wouldn’t have as deep an appreciation for different cultures without spending time in social studies class. And I wouldn’t be as prolific or as good (relatively speaking) a writer if I hadn’t had teachers encourage me to appreciate the English language like I do.
And, yes, these were all public school teachers whose investment in my life I can never repay.
The key to successful students begins at home. Create an environment where knowledge is encouraged, passions are permitted to grow, and parents are involved and invested in preparing the next generation to be lifelong learners. Your children will inevitably be reflections of you, and if I may be so bold, too many are poor reflections. You gotta get in there and get your hands dirty. Learn alongside your children by taking an interest in what they’re doing. Get inside their heads and find something you can do together. Don’t just shove them out the door and expect teachers to do it for you.
As far as the teachers are concerned, I have the utmost respect for your profession, but you still have some work to do to weed out the bad ones and elevate the good ones. Remember, these are the people who will be running things in a couple of decades, so we might need to make sure they have the tools they need to be successful.
Now, for the political class. Get out of public education, at least on the federal level. You can set all the standards, give students as many tests, and pass them from grade to grade as frequently as you want, but if you’re best efforts don’t make conditions better, it’s time you let the states take up the cause. After all, they are a lot closer to the touch points than any bureaucrat in Washington, DC, could ever be. Let the states handle the practical side of education for a change.
Then maybe, just maybe, the students of tomorrow won’t have to graduate high school without knowing what a circle is.
In the Meme Time
Another Leftist meme to come crashing down in flames. Unlike many Leftist memes, this one doesn’t have a hint of truth. But it does try to play with your emotions instead of facts. But it’s totally off the mark.
This meme depicts two women. One is a Christian Nun. The other is a Moslem woman. Both are wearing a head covering which is the focus of the meme.
The meme states that if you are not bothered by the Nun’s head covering and you are bothered by the Moslem woman’s head covering. Then you are a bigot.
At face value (the emotional side), the meme would be correct. But there is a huge difference between these two women and why they are wearing these head coverings.
The Christian Nun is an ordained member of the clergy. She has taken various oaths that go along with her call to the religious life and she lives within a religious community, often closed to the outside world. The habit and wimple she wears is an outward sign of those oaths and her commitment to her Faith as a Bride of Christ Jesus.
The Moslem woman is not a member of the clergy nor is she ordained. She does not live within a religious community of sisters. The hijab she is wearing is a sign of submission and required by Moslem culture which places women to be, at best, property. It is enforced by Moslem laws with strict punishments, including death, if violated.
These are not the same head coverings and they are worn for vastly different reasons. To be bothered by a woman in hijab is a good thing. Not a sign of bigotry as the meme suggests. But a sign that you care about the rights of women which are suppressed within Moslem culture.
Unanimous Opinion
The Supreme Court’s recent opinion regarding President Donald Trump’s ballot status was correct. And here is why this it the correct outcome of this court case.
First off, the 14th Amendment was born in the aftermath of the War Between the States. Many of it’s clauses were written for the situation of the time and place. The goals could not be accomplished by legislation alone.
The insurrection clause in particular was written as a punishment against the leaders of the Southern States. Banning them from public office. Not because they rose up against the Union. But as revenge by the Northern States who did not want to seat the former Confederate officers in Congress.
Secondly, President Donald Trump has NOT been found guilty of insurrection or participating in an insurrection, or leading an insurrection, or inciting an insurrection against the United States. Thus, he cannot be removed from any ballot or banned from holding office because of an insurrection.
And lastly, the events of January 6th were not an insurrection by any stretch of the imagination. The video evidence speaks for itself and to this truth as does the testimony of credible eyewitnesses.
So there you have it. Three valid reasons why the Supreme Court’s opinion on this matter is the correct and just opinion and why it was unanimous.
A Dog’s Life
Normally, I write pieces where there’s a bit of humor mixed in with the serious points I try to make, but this isn’t one of those pieces. Instead, I want to talk briefly about a topic I care about deeply because it’s affected me personally.
For the past ten years, I have been a proud dog owner and recently became a foster dad for an older dog for the first time. Growing up, I always wanted a dog, but my parents (correctly) decided I wasn’t mature enough to take care of one. That, and the fact I had a fear of dogs from a young age, made dog ownership more of a dream than a reality.
Then, a little Bichon Frise named Chico came into my life. My wife and I adopted him from the local Animal Rescue League at the age of 9 without knowing much about his history. After watching him react with a combination of fear and anger at males (and me specifically), we surmised Chico came from a puppy mill.
Puppy mill. Two words that make me cringe every time I hear them.
To put it mildly, puppy mills are the worst way a dog can live, if you call what goes on at puppy mills living. Cramped cages, lack of love and care, a perpetual breeding ground where puppies aren’t allowed to be with their mothers and adults are only useful as long as they produce litters. Once they can’t, they’re sent away to shelters for others to adopt them.
In doing so, these puppy mill breeders leave their former revenue sources with injuries. Some of them are physical, but most of them are psychological. Dogs are trusting and loving by nature, unless their environment is such that trust and love are alien to them. Then, they act on instinct, an instinct fostered by how they were treated prior to being adopted. That leaves a lot of broken dogs that will need patience and love to live anything close to a normal life.
That was Chico. It’s also Stella, the mini poodle we’re fostering right now. And so many more. Too many, really.
The problem is there’s a market for dogs and so many ways to get one from puppy mills. All it takes is a little dishonesty, a lot of looking the other way, and keeping as many potential buyers in the dark as possible. You may not even know you’re getting a puppy mill dog until after the transaction is done. Sure, you can adopt through a seemingly reputable source, but that doesn’t mean the dog you’re getting is free from the puppy mill experience.
Then, when your new dog starts acting up in ways you didn’t anticipate, what happens? In today’s disposable world, those broken dogs get put back into the system until they’re either adopted, fostered, or even put to sleep.
All because some scumbags wanted to make a buck by any means necessary, even at the expense of a dog’s life.
The way to counteract this is to do your homework. Work with only reputable dog breeders if you want a dog to raise. Sure, it’s going to cost more money, but the love you get far exceeds the money you’re going to pay to get it. But if you’re not willing to raise a puppy, there are older dogs that need the same love you would give a puppy. And, yes, some of them will be puppy mill dogs by the law of averages alone, but they need a chance to live, too.
Regardless of which way you go, be prepared for a lifetime commitment. That requires a lot of patience and love for an animal whose whole life is you.
Chico and I went through a lot together, but at the end, we were the best of friends. I hope to replicate that with Stella. Even if she is adopted next week or next year, she will need to know how to trust again. And as long as it takes, I will do my best to earn her trust and give her a happy home full of love.
After all, isn’t a dog’s life worth it?
Our Brother-In-Law
This is your annual reminder the war between Russia and Ukraine is still going on and we still don’t have any idea of what the fuck we’re doing in it yet. I mean, aside from giving billions of American tax dollars to a cause that’s ill-defined outside of “Putin Bad” and has no clear end date in sight.
Oh, and did I mention we’re backing the losing side?
Actually, that’s a bit premature. They haven’t lost yet, so there’s always a chance Ukraine can turn things around…provided, of course, we send more money and arms.
It was at this point I came to a realization: Ukraine is like the stereotypical lazy brother-in-law. They don’t do much, spend what little money they have on shit they don’t need, and always come around when they need just a few bucks to get them through until they can get on their feet. And, because they’re related by marriage, we tend to relent in order to keep the peace within the family.
That doesn’t work so well when an entire country is the brother-in-law and we’re strapped for cash ourselves. Regardless of what Leftist squawking head tells you, the economy isn’t so rosy. Inflation continues to rise (although at a much lower rate than the previous 2 years, so yay, I guess?), and Puddin’ Head Joe keeps finding ways to make the US Dollar worth less than the acknowledgements section of a narcissist’s autobiography.
Like, oh I don’t know…giving billions to a foreign country without asking for any of it back?
Of course, the Leftist warmongers will mention Ukraine is fighting for freedom and we should support it or we’re Russian assets. Which is why so many of these same warmongers are trying to tie aid to Israel to aid to Ukraine because…freedom, I guess?
Actually, the two are not connected in any way. And if you’ve been following the events in Ukraine prior to the war with Russia, you can see why, but for those who haven’t let’s just say Ukraine has…a bit of a neo-Nazi problem. Which means we have a bit of a neo-Nazi problem because we’re funding them in the name of freedom, all the while telling us neo-Nazis are all over the US and evil, nasty people who can’t be reasoned with.
You know, just like Antifa!
This contradiction doesn’t seem to bother the Left that much, but it bothers me. We cannot hold Ukraine to a different standard than we hold our own citizens, even if we don’t like the implications. This is the kind of idiocy that got both Iran and Iraq hating our guts in the early 80s when they were having their own war. We tried playing both sides at different points and we got fucked as a result.
Now, we’re repeating the same mistake. After trying to be buddy-buddy with Russia as far back as the Obama Administration (remember Hillary Clinton’s “Reset” button?), we’re now blaming them for everything from inflation to supply line issues to the fact Taylor Swift is dating Travis Kelce. And when you consider Russia and China are getting along like the aforementioned Swift and Kelce, that doesn’t bode well for us.
But freedom…I guess?
So, it looks like we’re going to be letting Ukraine sleep on our couch for the foreseeable future. But I’m sure they’ll find a job…I mean win the war with Russia soon. They just need a few billion to tide them over until they win…
Leftist Lexicon Word of the Week
With almost every election in the past 25 years or so, there have been accusations of one side or the other trying to get an unfair advantage though what is loosely called “election interference.” This can take on many forms, but the Left seems to be particularly concerned with election interference this year.
Maybe it has something to do with their Presidential candidate being only slightly more coherent than a piece of burnt toast…naaaaaah. If we’ve learned anything from Leftists, it’s that they’re honest brokers truly looking out for the best interests of their ideological cult…I mean country. Regardless, we have a tough nut to crack, so let’s get cracking.
No, Hunter, I’m not talking real crack here, buddy.
election interference
What the Left thinks it means – outside parties influencing American politics through underhanded and illegal means
What it really means – election shit Leftists do, but never get held accountable for doing
One of the bedrock principles America’s had throughout its existence is fair elections. Voters across the country would spend more time in local libraries and churches than they would the rest of the year and cast ballots for candidates they felt would do the best job in a given role. When we started electing incompetents, though, that dynamic shifted to whichever scumbag we liked more.
Anyway, this came into question in 2000 in the election between George W. Bush and Al Gore. I won’t go into a lot of detail here because I’m still going to therapy over it, but for those of you who weren’t there, the Readers Digest Condensed Version is Al Gore tried to use recounts in select Florida counties to win the state’s electoral votes and failed. This sent shockwaves throughout the political landscape. I mean, who could have imagined a thoroughly unlikable and out-of-touch former Vice President would lose?
I mean, aside from anyone who paid attention to Al Gore.
In the aftermath of Hurricane Hanging Chads, Leftists decided Bush cheated, thus he wasn’t legitimately President. This lead to conspiracy theories involving then-Florida Governor and W’s brother Jeb, Florida Secretary of State Katherine Harris, the US Supreme Court, and several boy bands getting their hands dirty while installing George W. Bush. Never mind the fact most, if not all, media-generated recounts repeatedly showed Bush won Florida. It was a conspiracy, dammit!
Then, before you could say “Not My President,” the election interference disappeared in 2008, even though not much in the lines of election security had changed. Hmmm…now who won the Presidency in 2008? Surely the fact the Left’s choice for President winning had no bearing on whether the Left thought election was tampered with, right? I mean that would be totally be a dick move to selectively call out election interference based on who was in office!
And it was just such a dick move they did in 2016 when Donald Trump beat Hillary Clinton. The only difference between the 2000 conspiracy theories and the 2016 ones was the particular parties involved. And election security? Still not that different than it was back then.
Then, before you could say “Orange Man Bad,” election integrity wasn’t an issue in 2020…except where it was and glossed over by Leftists and turned into treason if you dared not accept one of the most fucked-up elections in history as totally legit. And now Puddin’ Head Joe is fucking everything else up and is in jeopardy of losing the White House to Trump, guess what’s coming back? That’s right, election interference!
But what does that actually look like? Depends on who you ask. To a normal person, a lot of the shit that’s been going on since 2000 has been election interference, ranging from potential threats of violence (Black Panthers outside polling places in 2008) to irregular counting procedures (counting ballots after the counting was supposed to be concluded in 2020). In other words, Leftist Election Strategy 101.
To Leftists, it’s anything Republicans and conservatives do to prevent the Left from cheating. Pass a law preventing campaign volunteers from handing out bottles of water to people in line, which could be considered electioneering? That’s election interference! Call for Voter ID laws? Election interference! In fact, I think you can count on the one hand of the world’s worst shop teacher the number of things the Left wouldn’t consider election interference.
To put it mildly, Leftists care about election interference like they care about the gay community: only when it suits their larger political ends. Otherwise, it’s issue non grata. The way you can tell? Leftists aren’t overtly spending money on election security. If they were really concerned about Russia, China, or even Nickelback affecting the 2024 election, they would be coming up with all sorts of election integrity boondoggles where Leftists could get rich..er and nothing would get done.
See what I mean?
The Left’s ideal version of election integrity is one where they’re the only ones allowed to cheat and win. But by taking this approach, they’ve ensured they can never be taken seriously on this subject by anyone who has a brain, which means anyone who isn’t a Leftist. Meanwhile, real election integrity is eroding before our eyes because few Republicans care to even touch the issue, let alone take the heat from the Left for trying to do something to restore faith in the system. If we want to see a return to the good old days where we can accept election results without all the bullshit, we have to take the heat and pack a lunch. Just avoid mayonnaise and cole slaw.
In the meantime, call out the Left’s bullshit when they bring up election integrity as an issue. Ask them what they intend to do the next time one of their preferred candidates win to ensure outside forces don’t tip the scales. And be prepared not to get an answer. Or have them call you a bigot. Or have their heads explode. You know, whatever works.
Leftist Lexicon Word of the Week
When Alabama comes up in the news, it’s usually in relation to a citizen doing something insanely stupid. This week, however, the state made the news for something at least somewhat smart.
Which, of course, made Leftists freak out.
Recently, the Alabama Supreme Court ruled frozen embryos are considered children and subject to the same legal protections as other children under the state’s abortion laws. Of course, Leftists started raising all sorts of objections, ranging from the chilling effect (their words, not mine) on In Vitro Fertilization to the ruling being the result of Donald Trump (surprise surprise) to there not being enough oat milk for the Left’s free range Cheerios. And you know how serious they are when they start putting up stupid memes comparing chicken eggs to embryos to show how “stupid” the ruling was.
The concept of when life begins is subject of a lot of debate and all of it surrounds the embryo. Which means we get to talk about it, and by talk I mean you get to read my semi-informed opinions on the subject!
embryo
What the Left thinks it means – a prospective human
What it really means – the formation of a human baby
So, when does life begin? That depends on who you ask. The people who know a thing or two about human physiology will tell you it begins when there is cellular division, which can’t happen without a spark of life. The people who flunked out of human physiology class and became Leftists say life begins once the fetus exits the birth canal. Up until that point, it’s just a clump of cells.
That’s going to come as a surprise to any test tube babies out there.
Regardless of where you fall on the spectrum of when life begins, there is something perverse about how the Left treats embryos and fetuses for that matter. Instead of seeing them as humans, the Left sees them as objects without agency and, thus, useless to their political agenda except as an accessory to abortion rights. After all, a woman can continue to vote for Leftists, but an embryo can’t.
And as long as the Left continues to support abortion on demand (and contrary to what they say, some of them do), they will have a vested interest in dehumanizing a human life. Make no mistake, kids, an embryo is a human life. I’ve often wanted to ask pro-baby-death…I mean pro-choice advocates what comes out of the womb if it’s not a baby. Is it a basketball? A Shetland Pony? The transmission for a 1956 Buick? I’ve never had the chance, but a man can dream…
Meanwhile back at the main point, the Alabama Supreme Court’s decision makes sense in the context of protecting life. Once you dig past the sensationalist headlines and Leftist mischaracterizations, there is a real issue at stake. One of the lawsuits that lead to the decision involved a hospital patient who tried to take out some of the frozen embryos, got freeze burned, and dropped the embryos, causing them to die. Now, for the pro-baby-death…I mean pro-choice crowd, this is literally the kind of thing they claim to be against: letting women choose what they want to do with their bodies. The couple in this case chose to freeze an embryo, and the patient stripped that away from them.
Not that you would hear that from the Left, mind you. To them, the decision is backwards because…feefees. And to make sure the gay community got a shoutout, Leftists said the decision strips same sex couples of the ability to start a family.
Okay, time out here. Extending the legal protections of life to embryos prevents gay couples from having families? Well…let’s see if I can put this tactfully…how in the Wide World of Fuck does that make any sense? If these same sex couples want IVF to have a child, there’s nothing in the ruling that would prevent that. The same goes for couples looking to do IVF. All the ruling does is make it illegal to kill embryos and set up punishment for those who kill them. That’s it.
It was at this point we realized the Left was full of shit.
But, wait, it gets better! Leftists are now saying they will be freezing embryos and claim them as exemptions on their taxes. The thing is such an action would not only support the pro-life argument, but also the argument people are overtaxed as it is. To put it another way, and I’m speaking for myself here, your terms are acceptable.
In their attempts to look and sound smart on this decision, Leftists have exposed their true nature. They don’t care about embryos at all. They care more about the votes they get from the mothers of those embryos and any self-reflection on whether there’s a human life at stake is strictly optional, but highly discouraged. It’s this lack of consideration that drives me to be more on the pro-life side personally, even though I’m much more libertarian towards others. My personal opinion applies to me, myself, and some guy named Earl.
In the meantime, I think I’ve found a way to get more Leftists on board with protecting embryos. Tell them the embryos self-identify as trans. They’ll fall all over themselves to prevent any of them from dying or look like hypocrites in the process. Either way, the embryos get to live!
And that’s a win for everyone. Especially Earl.