Day: November 1, 2026

By the time you are reading this, it will either be before, during, or after Election Day. (Please check local listings for the Election Day in your area.) And this year there’s a lot of attention being paid to election integrity.

Or the lack thereof, depending on who you ask.

For a country that proclaims itself to be a democracy, our elections are a mish-mash of the good, the bad, and the ugly. But enough about the candidates. The elections themselves are about as reliable as President Brick Tamland’s memories, which gives rise to concerns about whether they’re legit.

Like how a joke of a Senator who dropped out of at least 3 previous Presidential runs managed to get more votes than the most popular President of recent memory, Barack Obama.

Regardless if you think the elections are more secure than Fort Knox or less secure than a Leftist who’s been misgendered, election integrity is worth a look.

election integrity

What the Left thinks it means – the cornerstone of our democracy that should never be questioned

What it really means – a modern political oxymoron

In recovery programs like Alcoholics Anonymous, it is said the first step towards recovery is admitting you have a problem. Yeah, that’s gonna be a hard no from the Left, dawg. Not only does it make them look like the incompetent asshats they are, but it hurts their widdle fee-fees. And when a Leftist has hurt fee-fees things get…whiny.

To say the Left has had more positions on election integrity than the Kama Sutra would be accurate, but not nearly accurate enough. When a Republican wins, it’s because the GOP cheated. And by cheating (and by Leftists having a massive melty) that Republican isn’t really a winner. When a Democrat wins, it’s because the Democrat was the vastly superior candidate and the election was the most secure in history, so anyone who expresses doubt is un-American.

If you doubt me, let me point out the difference between how the Left treated George W. Bush and Brick Tamland after controversial election victories. Yeah.

It wasn’t that long ago that Americans could accept election results because there wasn’t a bunch of hinky shit going down. Recent years have shown examples where the hinkiest of hinky shit was treated as normal, and I’m not just talking about the 2020 Election. From Minnesota allowing voters to vouch for others so they can vote to people voting on behalf of deceased relatives, it’s clear election integrity is more of an afterthought than sending thank you cards after a gang bang.

Not that I know anything about that, mind you…

Anyway, the Left doesn’t seem to think election integrity is an issue, and they seem to have the facts on their side. By the actual numbers, it doesn’t seem election fraud is as widespread as the Right claim. On the surface, that’s a compelling argument.

Of course, I don’t just trust the surface.

What the numbers don’t tell you is how many non-eligible voters get by with it without getting caught. And given how some election rules are looser than Rosie O’Donnell’s pants after an Ozempic overdose, I’m gonna say the numbers are a bit larger than what’s being reported.

And we can look to California to support that notion. Yes, California, the state that makes Las Vegas look like an Amish barn-raising. Under the tenure of Gavin “I’m Not With Stupid, I AM Stupid” Newsom, we’ve seen crime go lower than a snake’s belt buckle, and there’s a good reason for that.

Namely, not enforcing theft laws.

See, if you don’t steal over a certain amount, it’s okay. At least until Newsom needs to look quasi-Presidential and pushes for harsher punishment for…breaking existing laws that weren’t being enforced depending on how much was stolen.

So, what does this have to do with election integrity? Simple. Even if there are laws on the books prohibiting certain actions, they mean jack shit if no one is enforcing them. You know, like…oh, I don’t know…laws preventing some people from voting?

That’s not all, though. The Left has gone all in on the idea any attempt to enforce election law is voter suppression. Whether it’s the SAVE Act or having ICE agents assigned to polling places to ensure illegal immigrants don’t vote, there is not a strengthening of election integrity the Left won’t oppose.

Unless, of course, they can exploit them.

Take the situation in the Senate race in Alaska, for example. The Republican incumbent is named Dan S. Sullivan, and one of the candidates he is running against an independent named…Dan Sullivan. Granted, it’s not illegal for someone to have the same name as you (yet), but more investigation into this turn of events has uncovered the latter Sullivan might have ties to Sullivan’s Democrat challenger, Mary Pelota. Thanks to Alaska’s ranked-choice method of deciding the candidates who make the final ballot, the independent Dan Sullivan made the final cut, and will presumably appear on the ballot near the incumbent Dan Sullivan.

Not illegal, but fucking shadier than a goth kid sitting under a cemetery tree during the Winter Solstice.

While Leftists point to the lack of illegal activity as justification for the situation in Alaska (even going so far as to blame President Trump for trying to create distrust in the election results), this fact shows how little Leftists care about election integrity in general. And even if Republicans did it (which they did), it doesn’t give the Left the moral authority to do it, too, especially if they want to portray themselves as anything but the cheaters they are.

So, what do Leftists actually believe when it comes to elections? They believe more votes equals more legitimacy for those elections they steal…I mean win. The problem they face is their candidates and ideas suck ass. Seriously, the best they could come up with in the 2024 Presidential election was an unaccomplished Vice President with a speech impediment (that being Can’t Stop Talking Syndrome) and who could double as Nancy Pelosi’s drinking buddy? And Queen Kamala the Appointed “won” the nomination without ever winning a single caucus or primary because shut up.

Say what you will about the Republicans (and believe me I have), but at least they’re trying to put the integrity back into election integrity. Even people tangentially connected to the Right like James O’Keefe have gotten eyes on the lack of election integrity, and the Left’s response has been…let’s just say predictably hacktastic.

Even beyond the political mucking going on to make our elections less believable than Steven Seagal’s martial arts accomplishments, the cynic in me sees a divine irony in modern politics being concerned about a trait that has no place in the current practice of it. The cynic in me also says it’s all theater designed to get people to believe they’re totally serious about the idea so they can rig the system in their favor.

Needless to say, I listen to the cynic inside me a lot.

But then there’s the hopeful side of me who sees the steps towards election integrity as a good thing. Even if our image in the world is scuffed due to the dumbfucks in charge, we are still a country that prides itself on listening to the will of the people, and elections are still a good indication of what people want, even if it’s fucking stupid. (I’m looking at you, West Coast.) So, in spite of my cynical side, I hope for once Republicans make good on their commitment to election integrity because it’s sure as shit the Left won’t.