To put it mildly, it must really suck to be a Leftist these days. Sure, they have some bright spots like the Virginia fuck-up…I mean gerrymandering vote, pending the results of a legal challenge, but for every W it seems they have more Ls than Chicago’s public transit system. Prominent Leftist firebrands like Eric Swalwell and Jasmine Crockett are on their ways out of a job (at least in Congress). Supreme Court Justice Ketanji Brown Jackson is issuing rulings that even her fellow Leftists on the Supreme Court are disregarding as woefully unimpressive.
And now, one of the Left’s favorite organizations, the Southern Poverty Law Center, finds itself under FBI scrutiny and public ridicule for, and I wish I were making this up, alleged money laundering and paying off white supremacists to, well, be white supremacists. And all while raising funds to try to fight them.
Although there are some on the Right who come close, this is one of the dumbest fucking things the Left has done. Which, of course, means, I get to make fun of it in this week’s Lexicon!
Southern Poverty Law Center
What the Left thinks it means – a vital tool in the fight against white supremacy and race-based hatred
What it really means – an organization in search of a problem
The SPLC started in 1971 as an outgrowth of the civil rights movement of the 1960s. When not fighting for blacks to get equal footing in the world, they tracked white supremacist groups and helped raise awareness of their activities. Not a bad gig, really.
But somewhere along the way, the arguably noble origins of the SPLC gave way to Leftist hackery. Racial equality expanded to LGBTQIA+14X-25YX42 rights, migrant (i.e. illegal immigrant) rights, and propagan…I mean education. And with that expansion came the expansion of what constituted a hate group. And, surprise surprise, all of them seem to be right wing in nature!
Now, if you were a Leftist, you would say “that’s because the Right is so hateful.” And if you weren’t a fucking dumbass, you would dig a bit deeper to see just what constitutes a hate group to the SPLC.
And, contrary to popular belief, I am not a fucking dumbass.
After Moms for Liberty got added to the SPLC’s list of hate groups for being “anti-government,” I decided to look into it. Let’s just say you would have to suspend disbelief like the guy from the Crazy Glue commercials from the 1970s to believe the SPLC’s bullshit.
And I’ll be damned if the Left didn’t start looking for steel girders and a hard hat.
When you designate anything outside of your ideological bubble as hate, it’s a crap shoot. There will be some pretty hateful asshats out there, but they tend not to be the majority, just the loudest and most boorish. When I’ve had disagreements with Republicans, MAGA or otherwise, I’ve been treated with respect for the most part and we wind up having a decent conversation. Ditto with most conversations I’ve had with Democrats.
But the Far Left and the Far Right? If I can get past the foam that forms around the sides of their mouths and can foot the bill for the series of rabies shots afterwards, there’s a non-zero chance I can have a decent conversation. Pretty damn close to zero, but still non-zero.
This is the problem the SPLC faces right now. Well, that and the allegations of money laundering and payments made to the people they were allegedly trying to fight, I mean. But more to the point, they’ve let their ideological bent taint their perspective. Here’s a prime example: Turning Point USA is considered a hard right group connected to possible violence, but you know who isn’t?
Antifa.
You know, the ones who are okay with literal violence?
But I’m sure they’ll get right on it. I mean, it’s not like it took them until 2009 to label the Nation of Islam a hate group…oh, fuck, it did. And even then, the SPLC had to make sure they were connected to the “Far Right” because who knows what would happen if they actually did their job correctly, amirite?
By playing picky-choosy with what constitutes a hate group, the SPLC undermines its own credibility as a definitive and objective source. Not that it stops the Left from using their laughable reports as cudgels to “prove” hate is on the rise and only the SPLC can stop it.
Yeah, about that…
What the SPLC and the Left (but, I repeat myself) fail to understand is people do tend to get along pretty well without them. Yes, there are still hate groups out there targeting vulnerable individuals, but by and large we live in harmony. Maybe it’s the Gen Xer in me, but I don’t care what you identify as or what you look like or what you think. Just don’t be an asshole. Simple rule, and it’s kept me in good stead for decades.
But even that one simple rule is too hard for Leftists to follow, let alone comprehend. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again (mainly because I need to fill space): Leftists can never be happy. They’re always pissed off about something or depressed because they aren’t getting their way. I say this this is exactly how I was before I became a recovering Leftist.
This plays into the SPLC situation perfectly because at some point you will run out of things to get pissed off about, but instead of realizing being pissed off all the time isn’t a lucrative as you were lead to believe it was, they figured out a way to keep their doors open by quietly encouraging the activity they were publicly against. Hmmm…that reminds me of someone, an aspiring President who had a public opinion and a private opinion…I can’t put my finger on who that was, but I’m sure Bill Clinton did at one time.
Anyway, this starts a circuit. The group paid off people to “investigate” hate groups and report back. Then, the SPLC “exposes” the hate groups, thus keeping up appearances they’re still doing what they claim to be doing. This, in turn, makes gullible Leftists fork over donations to keep up the good work, which gets filtered back to the organization and used to pay off more people to “investigate” hate groups, and so on.
You know what stops that circuit? People getting along.
The thing about hate groups is they’re loud, but tiny compared to the rest of the population. There’s a reason the Westboro Baptist Church has fewer members than Lorena Bobbitt’s exes; it’s because nobody wants to associate with those assholes! That keeps them small, manageable, and easy to track. And the best part? You don’t have to steal donations to do it! Just let them play badass on their own property and crack ’em in the skulls if they get out of hand. Knowing a whole group of people is going to whup your ass if you decide to get froggy is a pretty good deterrent. At worst, you might have to spring for a few cases of beer afterwards, so it’s more cost-effective than the SPLC.
That’s not to say the SPLC is doomed. That’s for the courts to decide. But even some of the most vigorous and faithful servants have to be asking themselves “Are we the bad guys?” And the answer is yes, yes you are. Whatever good you’ve done in the past is going to be overshadowed by the bullshit you’ve perpetuated in the name of keeping the SPLC relevant and funded. Well, you might be neither after the legal process does its thing and exposes you as frauds.
But look on the bright side. You could be Eric Swalwell.
