The Most Important Election…Part 25

In case you haven’t heard, the midterm elections are THE MOST IMPORTANT ELECTION IN OUR HISTORY! And you can tell I’m serious because I typed it caps, italics, and bold. But you don’t have to take it from me. Leftists have been hyping this election cycle more than Don King, or Don Lemon for that matter.

From suggesting this year’s elections may be the last free and fair ones in America to being the last chance to remove the Trump influence from the country, the Left can’t be accused of underselling how important they think this election cycle is. After all, democracy is on the ballot, right? If Republicans win, women will lose the right to choose what to do with their bodies, Joe Biden will face impeachment, and blacks will be put back in chains.

Oh, wait. That last one was something Joe Biden said in 2012.

Anyway, the Left has done a great job in building up the midterms, but there’s one tiny problem: they’re not the most important election in our lifetimes. In fact, it’s going to be like any other election in our lifetimes. There will be winners and losers, close calls and blowouts, and just as much division as we had before Election Day. It’ll just be a new bunch of idiots to fuck things up.

And the thing is I’ve heard this song and dance before. It always seems as though one major party or the other trots out the same “most important election of our lifetimes” bullshit when they’re about to get bitch-slapped by the voting public. It’s a cynical way to drum up last-minute support. If you can whip potential voters into a fear-fueled frenzy that if the other party wins a portal to Hell will open up, it might be enough to get them to show up and vote. And with midterm voter turnout being significantly lower than during Presidential election years, every vote counts, so the fear gets turned up to 12 (because turning it up to 11 just isn’t good enough).

And people wonder why I’m so cynical about politicians.

It’s funny to me that the same ideology that gave us “Hope and Change” in 2008 is giving us “No Hope and Don’t Change” not even a generation later. To put it bluntly, I think Donald Trump really fucked up the Left by not being Hillary Clinton’s bitch like they thought he would be. (However, they did get Hillary being a bitch, so I guess they kinda got what they wanted?)

Thus, the 2020 Presidential election was “the most important election in our history.” The Left had to defeat Donald Trump to avoid sliding into a fascist totalitarian regime that denied science and would be the laughing stock of the world. Good thing we voted Trump out of office so none of that could happen, right?

For the Leftists reading this, that was sarcasm.

But I’m not being sarcastic when I say the Left and the Right need to lay off the “most important election in our lifetime” bullshit. If you want to get people to vote for your candidates, give us a reason to vote for them, not vote against the opposition.

And while you’re at it, field some candidates that are worth a damn. I find it hard to believe the best candidates Pennsylvania Democrats and Republicans could field are a stroke victim with clear cognitive issues and a doctor made famous thanks to a connection to Oprah Winfrey. If ever there was an argument to be made for allowing third parties equal footing in elections, this is it.

So, whatever your reason for voting this year (and in the future), go out and vote, not because you want to make history or because you’re afraid of the future under an opposing party’s rule, but because you want to do your civic duty.

By writing in the names of cartoon characters when the choices you’re given suck more than a lot lizard trying to make bail money.

Leftist Lexicon Word of the Week

By the time you read this, it will be close to or the end of October, which means two things. One, the Detroit Lions are mathematically eliminated from the post season, and two, it’s almost the end of Election Season. And of the two, the latter is clearly more painful.

It’s also the start of what the Left hopes to be a major turning point in what is looking to be a political assbeating of Biblical proportions. They’re hoping to energize women voters using one of the major wedge issues of my lifetime, abortion. After the US Supreme Court did the unthinkable and made abortion a state issue, Leftists created the term Roevember.

And, thus, the month of my birth gets ruined, but for a completely different reason.

Roevember

What the Left thinks it means – a rallying cry for women to vote out Republicans to protect their reproductive rights

What it really means – a neat catchphrase for an issue that isn’t that important right now

It’s conventional political wisdom that the party that controls the Presidency loses Congressional seats during the midterms, and you can count on the one hand of the world’s worst butcher the number of times it hasn’t happened in recent history. That means, if conventional wisdom holds true this year, Democrats stand to lose at least some of their elections. That gives them a vested interest in keeping their base energized. And what better way to do that than to hype up the potential of losing abortion rights unless Democrats get elected/reelected?

I mean, aside from coming up with an actual platform.

Under normal conditions, this tactic might work. After all, a Gallup poll from earlier this year shows a majority of American adults consider themselves to be pro choice, with 61% of women identifying as such. Granted, I’m not a doctor, so I might be assuming the respondents’ genders, but I’m going to go with it for the purposes of this sketch.

Unfortunately for Democrats, these midterms aren’t normal, and I’m not just talking about the freaks Democrats have running in certain races. (And I apologize to all the freaks out there for comparing them to Democrats.) When it comes to issues Americans think are important, abortion is waaaaaaaaaay down the list. Why it’s almost as if people are more concerned with the ec0nomy than killing babies! The absolute nerve!

This begs the question of why Leftists would continue to push abortion rights as an issue when the more pressing issue is the flaming dumpster fire that is our economy. I’m glad you asked! I have an idea about why that is. It may not be original, so if someone else thought of this first, I’m sure someone will let me know in the comments.

Politics today revolved heavily around what each side of the aisle considers to be what’s wrong with the world. When the economy is flush, the Right turn inward to find inspiration for what changes they want to make and then try to turn that inner vision into outer action. When the economy sucks more than a million Dysons at the center of a black hole, the Right’s introspection doesn’t extend outside of their homes very often, except to commiserate with others in the same boat.

The Left, on the other hand, don’t diversify their opinions on what’s wrong with the world. The issues they felt were super-ultra-important in 1992 aren’t too different than they are in 2022. Even the various “new” issues they’ve raised are offshoots of issues they’ve been railing on for decades, just with a new coat of paint. And no matter what, good economy or bad, these issues will always be at the core of the Left’s campaigns.

Which means they are woefully out of touch with the electorate this year.

One of the Left’s big assumptions is the 167.5 million women in the United States will be coming out to vote in Roevember. Although we don’t have any official numbers for the 2022 midterms (because they haven’t happened yet), it’s normal for voter turnout to be lower for midterm elections as opposed to Presidential elections. Let’s assume the numbers FairVote provides in the aforementioned link are accurate and voter turnout is 40%. That means only 67 million women will be voting, and of those 40.87 million of them consider themselves to be pro choice. Not an insignificant number, but a lot lower than the 167.5 million the Left predict will take part in Roevember. And that assumes all of those 40.87 million are a) eligible to vote, and b) inspired to vote for Democrats. A lot of assumptions being made on an issue only 4% of Americans surveyed think is important.

I promise the rest of this piece won’t be so numbers-heavy.

Although Leftists are great with catchy slogans, they’re piss-poor with timing. With the economy and inflation running rampant like Godzilla in a Japanese fishing village, they’ve chosen to make “let’s kill babies in the womb” their rallying cry. Then again, if my party was responsible for the Godzilla-esque trampling of the economy, I might want to try to divert attention to something else, too.

I’m going to go out on a limb and say most of the people reading this aren’t going to fall for the repackaging job the Left is doing with Roevember, but just know there are plenty outside of this group that will. If nothing else, just run down the numbers with them and let them know their passion for voting because of Roevember would be better suited for something far more productive.

Booing the Detroit Lions.

Leftist Lexicon Word of the Week

I know the event that inspired this week’s Lexicon occurred last week, but the real impact of it is still being felt this week. Besides, the Lexicon self-identifies as timely, so if you disagree you’re a bigot!

Anyway, President Joe Biden gave an address to the nation last week. To say the optics were a little on the horrible side would be understating it quite a bit. Yet, the speech being called The Red Speech was just the kind of red (speech) meat the Left wanted. Leftists fought for column inches and TV time to praise the speech, even though they pretty much said the same things…

Anyway, let’s take a closer look at The Red Speech.

The Red Speech

What the Left thinks it means – an awesome speech preaching of uniting against the greatest threat to America in history

What it really means – a disjointed speech that only appeals to the Left’s totalitarian nature

So I don’t get accused of taking Biden’s words out of context, here are the text and video of the speech in question. Of course, that won’t stop Leftists from making the accusations because…reasons.

I was going to do a thorough analysis of the speech going over the various elements from the lighting to the location to the verbiage used. Then, I remembered it’s a Joe Biden speech. They typically have the intellectual rigor of a completed Sudoku puzzle. The speech itself isn’t as important as the Left’s reaction to it.

To put it mildly, they loved it so much, they smoked a cigarette (or a joint) or vaped or whatever it is they do afterwards. To them, it was a combination of a call to action, an affirmation of American (i.e. Leftist) values, and a shot over the bow of “MAGA Republicans” letting them know they weren’t going to take it anymore. It was, if you’ll pardon the expression (and even if you don’t), red meat for the Left. I’m not sure how the vegans on the Left felt, though…

Regardless, there were a lot of threads to tie together into one speech. Outside of the Leftist hivemind, the reaction was pretty much universal: the Red Speech sucked ass, and not in the fun way. Not only were the positive elements overpowered by the negative ones, but the visuals and vocal tone didn’t help matters either. It came off as loud, hateful, and generally tone-deaf. So, like an episode of The Young Turks.

You can tell how badly The Red Speech was received by how quickly the Biden Administration walked it back. Literally, within hours of giving it, kids. Now, I’m no Presidential speechwriter, but to me good speeches don’t have to be retracted, respun, and revised less than 24 hours after they were given.

And given President Biden’s track record of being less honest than tobacco companies in the 50s, it’s hard to tell whether the speech or the post-speech spin reflects his true feelings. That allows political opponents to assume the worst and express it, thus making a bad situation even worse for Biden. And guess what? The longer the outrage, real or manufactured, keeps The Red Speech in people’s minds, the more it will impact the midterms. You know, the ones where Democrats are hoping to hold the House and get at least 2 seats in the Senate? Yeah, try being a pro-Biden Democrat running on the “MAGA Republicans are the greatest threat to democracy right now…until they aren’t” message. That prospect is scarier than day-old sushi sold at Food Poisoning Emporium.

What should be even scarier for Leftists is the fact The Red Speech sounded and felt a lot like a speech from Donald Trump. All you would need to do is change a few words. Remember when we were told Joe Biden would be a better President because he wasn’t Trump? Almost two years and several clusterfucks later, the current President is sounding more and more like the former President and the Left doesn’t even see it.

Doubt me? Let’s check.

– The “otherization” of political opponents? Check.
– Blaming these “others” for problems Americans face? Check.
– Appealing to America’s greatness and resilience? Check.
– Promising to take action against those who threaten us? Check.
– Use of patriotic imagery as a backdrop? Check.
– Appeals to our emotions? Check.
– Cheers from audience members? Check.
– Rallying supporters to support party ideals and candidates? Check.

You get the idea. Leftists might not, but you do.

At this point, we should answer the lingering question why the Left slobbered over each other to praise The Red Speech. Aside from being full of the policy positions they love so much, it was also full of a lot of the stuff Leftists have been talking about in private being uttered in public. Normally, this would scare Leftists more than letting Biden go off-script, but in this case it’s exactly what they wanted because it makes those ideas seem plausible, possible, and inevitable. The Left has been talking about the possibility of civil war for a while now, either to criticize the Right or to pump up the Left’s egos to make them think they could win such a war easily. Even the President recently pooh-poohed the idea the Right could successfully beat the US military.

You know, the same MAGA Republicans who almost overthrew the government on January 6th, according to the Left?

I don’t understand the logic, either, kids.

What I do understand, though, is how The Red Speech fits into the Left’s totalitarian nature. They need to be in control of as much of our lives as possible, and post-COVID they’re looking for another hit of that sweet totalitarian shit. What better way to get people to run to the Left for protection than to overstate the threat the MAGA movement is to the country?

I’m not a MAGA guy, but I recognize some common traits in the members of the movement. Aside from being super-pro-Trump, that is. Most of the people being labeled as domestic terrorists by the Left are just regular people who just want to be left alone by government and for America to thrive. If you believe the Left, that’s what they want, too. They just have a different road to achieve it.

That road, of course, being letting them rule over everything and make all the important decisions because they’re so much smarter than we are. (Just ask them.) Since those pesky MAGA Republicans don’t agree with them, the Left has to resort to coercion and even force to get people to agree with them. Hence, the reason the midterms are so important to them and then the 2024 Presidential election.

Which makes The Red Speech seem like a much bigger fuck-up than I initially thought. Once you say the quiet part out loud, you’re kinda stuck with it. You can’t memory wipe the world…or can you?…no, no, you can’t. People are going to remember your words and hold you accountable to/for them.

Including people outside of your ideological sphere.

Conventional political wisdom says you have to try to attract the middle (i.e. the un-or-disenfranchised) to win elections. It’s easy to get voters if they already agree with your ideas, but it takes a bit of effort to expand that base to include people who may only agree with some of your ideas. And the more radical you appear, the less likely these possible voters will vote for you.

After The Red Speech, there are already Democrats trying to keep the stench off them in the hopes of still getting elected. And we’re not talking about no-name Democrats running for dog catcher, either. There are a few big name candidates ranging from Tim Ryan in Ohio to Raphael Warnock in Georgia. Although it can be argued they’re keeping their distance for reasons other than The Red Speech, it cannot be argued the speech itself makes it harder for red state Democrats to appeal to the middle, especially if they agree even a little bit with the MAGA Republicans.

Spoiler Alert, Leftists: It’s not just Republicans who support MAGA. There are more than a few people from your side who are getting turned off by the overheated bullshit and the lack of attention to more “kitchen table” issues that can make or break a candidate’s campaign. But, tell us again how buying an electric car will help when you practically need to take out a fourth mortgage just to get groceries.

The Red Speech won’t go down as one of the best speeches ever, but it certainly has lived down to its potential as one of the most infamous.



Let’s Go Dark Brandon?

It really shouldn’t amaze me the Left isn’t all that original, but even this one had me shaking my head. There’s a new hero on the Left, one of mythical proportions, a man (but I’m not a biologist) who kicks ass, takes names, and looks damn good doing it. His name is…Dark Brandon.

What started out as a way to try to spin out of a “Fuck Joe Biden” chant at a NASCAR event became a cultural phenomenon extending well beyond the political realm. So much so the Left had to co-opt it after spending months decrying the phrase. You know, just like they did with Err…I’m sorry, Air America during the height of conservative talk radio.

You know, I wonder what happened to those plucky progressives trying to give people an alternative to Rush Limbaugh. Oh, yeah, they closed their doors in 2010. But I’m sure they won’t make the same mistake by co-opting a chant from the Right, right?

Not so much.

Although I wasn’t keen on “Let’s Go Brandon,” I could understand the appeal. After all, more than a few people think Joe Biden should go fuck himself especially after everything he’s done to fuck us. And in the aftermath of 4 years of Donald Trump and his supporters feeling empowered to shout back at the Left, old habits die hard…in Minecraft.

The chants still go on, albeit less frequently than when it first became part of the political lexicon (see what I did there!). So, what better time than when the fad is starting to die down (in Minecraft) to start reframing it?

What the Left lacks in timeliness they make up for in lame ideas. And if Dark Brandon were a horse, it would already be glue (in Minecraft).

Leftists have power fantasies that would make Sigmund Freud go to therapy. They need to control as much as possible, including people. Naturally, that means they tend to gravitate towards people and ideas they see as powerful and expect the sheer force of that power to silence opposition. More often than not, the perception of force is enough to make people back down, which feeds their egos and makes them believe they are as powerful as they think they are. When that doesn’t work, they pull out all the stops to flex on you, including whining to social media platforms about how you’re a meanie-head.

Ultimately, though, when they can’t get what they want, Leftists will find a way to scratch that control freak itch, even if they have to create an alternate reality to make it happen. That’s where the Dark Brandon persona comes into play. Leftists haven’t been happy with the way Joe Biden hasn’t gone after Republicans (at least, not until recently) and have suggested he’s too polite. After getting pissed at “Let’s Go Brandon” (and the President getting more than a little confused about who this Brandon guy is), the Left started leaning into it a bit more.

Thus, Dark Brandon was born.

Dark Brandon is everything Joe Biden isn’t. He’s decisive, aggressive towards his political enemies, tells it like it is, and lost all semblance of giving a fuck a long time ago. And Leftists are eating it up. But here’s the kicker. Dark Brandon isn’t a dark alternative version of Joe Biden; he’s a Leftist Donald Trump. And just like with Err America, the progressive copy is vastly inferior to the original.

As much as the Left wants the President to go on the offensive, they’re only making the argument why Donald Trump should get a second term as President. (That, and the economy being so far in the shitter, you’ll need to go spelunking to find the bottom.) Make no mistake, though. The Left was never against mean tweets, just mean tweets about them. They’re perfectly willing to go lower than a snake’s cock ring when it suits them.

But here’s the part I’m not sure the Left understands yet, if they ever will. By creating Dark Brandon and fawning over him and what he represents, Leftists are admitting the Biden Administration has been a failure. They’ll say it’s because Biden doesn’t go far enough Left, but it’s really because he’s truly not capable of leading a one-person parade, let alone the United States. Of course, this was obvious to anyone who paid attention to his career as a politician, but no one expects the Left to stay informed on current events, or events over 45 years, for that matter.

Either way, the Left embracing Dark Brandon right now encapsulates the problems they face right now right before the midterm elections. Not only will they have to defend Biden’s record, but they’ll have to figure out how to reconcile the fantasy they’ve created and the reality of how bad Biden’s done so far.

Good luck with that.