As we near the end of summer (check local listings for the season in your area), I’m reminded of a time when big budget and ultra-hyped movies would dominate the theaters during the summer months. Some of these films would be sequels to previous movies (because that’s how you get sequels in the first place). Some were good (“Empire Strikes Back”) and some sucked ass (the “Twilight” movies).
I bring this up because there’s another sequel in the works on the Left. Remember “woke,” kids? Well, thanks to some Leftists, they’re coming out with a new version, “Woke 2.0.” Well, when the Left serves up such a steaming hot pile of dogshit, it’s my duty to mock it mercilessly!
Woke 2.0
What the Left thinks it means – unapologetically standing up for more progressive policies
What it really means – same shit, different version
When “woke” became a thing, I wrote about it here, but to give you the short version, it was a bunch of Leftist bullshit to virtue signal how wonderful and inclusive they are (unless, of course, you disagree with them). Now, I could recycle all of my previous points and jokes and it would still be relevant, but I’d rather take this on with a fresh perspective.
But don’t be surprised if the new boss sounds the same as the old boss.
Virtue signaling isn’t anything new for the Left, but woke was virtue signaling on Bane-style steroids. And, by and large, it worked to a point. People didn’t want to look like they were intolerant and backwards, so they went along with the woke agenda. From big companies to small groups of friends, everyone seemed to be on board to stay out of the negative crosshairs of woke advocates. I mean, who would want to be attacked by 96 cats?
The problem with this shame-based approach is it doesn’t work with people who don’t care about how people they don’t even know think about them. Call it the “Who the Fuck Are You?” defense. That’s kinda where I’m at right now with the various parts of woke culture these days. I can see a need to diversity if only so our personal horizons can expand, but I don’t think it’s a requirement that I adopt ideas that make no fucking sense. I’m from Gen X. I’m used to being considered an outsider and I’ve made peace with it. And since I’ve been online since you needed a hamster wheel and two paper cups connected by a string to get online, I’ve been called any number of things by people who didn’t know me. Your weak-ass shit is nothing.
And it’s still nothing under Woke 2.0.
So far, what I’ve seen included in Woke 2.0 is the same 80/20 issues the Left have been on the wrong side of since, well, ever. For example, they’re trying to pull in the anti-ICE crowd as part of their happy little movement full of perpetually pissed-off dumbasses. After all, who could ever be against the deportation of illegal immigrants?
Answer: the dipshits supporting Woke 2.0.
I’m curious to see what else Woke 2.0 is going to try to co-opt to make it seem bigger than it actually is. The funny thing is the Left has already tried to do this. Since the 1990s, Democrats have created a patchwork coalition of different social and economic interests that managed to win elections by playing their only card in the deck, “Republicans are far worse.”
Over time, though, that patchwork started to fray as the members of it grew dissatisfied by what party “leaders” did and didn’t do to keep their promises. That, and the Democrats became the batshit insane party. This left the disillusioned with a few choices:
– stick with the party in the hopes the “leadership” would listen to them (Spoiler Alert: they never will because all they want are your votes and money.)
– try to get in positions of power within the party ranks (This is where the Democratic Socialists of America are.)
– go even further to the Left (This is what caused the DSA to get so much traction recently.)
– move to the Right, if not out and out join them
Intelligent people would consider doing that last one, but since we’re dealing with Leftists here, we’re not dealing with intelligent people. Although this causes headaches for the DNC, it makes for great content for me. So, yay!
Unfortunately, it means the first woke crowd may become the foot soldiers for Woke 2.0, up to and including preaching to us from a position of presumed moral superiority. You know, the Religious Right did that in the 80s and all it ever got me was the Satanic Panic and the Parents Music Resource Center. And neither one was that great.
But here we are on the verge of watching the woke evolution try to become the woke revolution by being just like Tipper Gore. Fucking brilliant! If it gets physical arcades at shopping malls back, I’m willing to give it a pass, but I doubt that’s going to happen.
After all, there are more important things than Galaga (counterpoint: no, no there isn’t). We have ICE agents shooting and killing innocent bystanders exercising their First Amendment rights to protest. And by protest I mean attempt to kill ICE agents because fee-fees.
I also get the sense Woke 2.0 won’t just go after people for disagreeing with them because they tend to be the group that tries to beat people up Antifa style. Leftists are more and more okay with political violence, so it’s not out of the realm of possibility they would agree with Go Woke, Get Broke(n). And when dealing with such persuasive violence…I mean rhetoric, who could resist?
Oddly and appropriately enough, it’s the people who mocked them for their attempts to “Resist.”
From my perspective, the Left has a lot of impotent rage issues over everything from pronoun usage to ICE deployment. A big part of that stems from times when they’ve had control over different aspects of life and social media because they were the ones to hold themselves accountable. And, surprise surprise, they investigated themselves and found they did nothing wrong!
Since Woke 2.0 is just starting out, I can’t say for certain it’s going to be a repeat of the Resist movement or any other Leftist movement we’ve experienced in the past decade, but I’m gonna go out on a limb and say it’s going to end the same way. For all of their talk of being highly educated (just ask them), they fail at the most important part of being educated: applying what they’ve learned.
Here’s an example. You know how Leftists are jumping on the Democratic Socialist bandwagon? If you notice, they come from a position of financial and social privilege. Much like in the former Soviet Union, those in higher positions can afford to live in a way contradictory to their rhetoric because the people beneath them can’t afford to rebel.
Spoiler Alert: We ain’t the former Soviet Union.
For all of its faults (like electing Democratic Socialists), America is still a global economic powerhouse. We may not produce as much as we did, but we still consume, which makes us an attractive market for anyone wanting to be successful. There are enough people who will push back if only to cause you to lose your collectivist brain cells in disbelief.
The same thing will happen with Woke 2.0 as it did with Woke 1.0. After a while, the concept of woke became a joke and, except for some parts of the perpetually pissed-off sections of the Interwebs, isn’t taken seriously. Woke 2.0 has all the makings of New Coke, but with fewer fans. And when it eventually flops like the most recent “Supergirl” movie, or the original for that matter, there will be more laughing at the Left’s expense. Which will eventually lead to Woke 3.0, and so on.
So, I’m not getting my hopes up that Woke 2.0 is going to shock the world, but it may wind up to be a Shockmaster event.
And if you got that reference, you are my kind of people.
Tag: woke
Leftist Lexicon Word of the Week
This week, the word “woke” got a bit of a workout. I’m not talking Richard Simmons “Sweating With the Oldies” kind of workout, either. We’re talking The Rock on truck stop speed locked in a Gold’s Gym for a weekend kind of workout. And after that, I definitely don’t want to know what the Rock was cookin’.
After people on the Right started to adopt “woke” as a term of derision, Leftists haven’t been able to figure out a way to take it back. So, instead, they’re creating new rules. And with that, this week’s Lexicon will delve into the wonderfully wide weird world of woke.
woke
What the Left thinks it means – either a word of pride or derision, depending on who uses it
What it really means – a term that needs to go the way of the dodo and Carrot Top’s movie career
Remember the 90s when Political Correctness was all the rage? People bent over backwards to use the “correct” (and often nonsensical) words. Then, it grew to the point where even the most PC of PC people got caught using non-PC terms because the term changed without warning from one week to the next. It was like playing hot potato with a live hand grenade while blindfolded. It’s only a matter of time before you’re getting shrapnel.
Well, thanks to the “woke” warriors out there, we get to relive one of my least favorite times of my adult life. Fortunately, I’m older and I give even less of a fuck than I did back then. The only difference? The current woke environment makes the PC movement of the 90s look like an Amish barn raising, complete with beards. Although with the woke folks, the beards might be connected to men who claim to be women.
Anyway, “woke” has gone from a funny term used by white Leftists so much you think they’re getting paid to use it to an entire culture. But only the first 4/7 of the word.
When the Right started using the word “woke” like an insult or a derogatory term, the Left lost its collectivist mind. After all, to them being woke is the end all and be all of existence. So, when people started making fun of it, it became an affront to them and their cause and they were forced to act!
By adding more context to its use.
But first, a slight aside. Woke actually began in the black community where it was used to raise awareness to racism and discrimination. Over time, the perspective grew to encompass more and more social justice ideas to the point white Leftists adopted it and made it mainstream. After all, the only way blacks can get ahead is if white Leftists speak for them, amirite kids?
Yeah, no.
Over the past week, the Left has expanded the definition even more. For Leftists, woke is still a good thing, but it’s also become a way to claim moral and intellectual superiority over everyone. Or in other words, Tuesday. John Stewart said being woke was “being good at history.” Molly Knight (who is whiter than a mayonnaise sandwich on Wonder Bread) echoes this sentiment by throwing in slavery.
Then, there’s the virtue signaling. And when I say virtue signaling, I mean virtue signaling!
Now, for the other side. Leftists love to use the Right’s use of the word to state their opposition is based on being stupid. And being the worst people on Earth. And being triggered. Oh, and when the Right uses it, it’s racist! And, of course, the Left thinks the Right can’t define it.
The Left thinks woke is a positive. The Right thinks woke is a negative. I think woke is the past tense form of wake.
As much as both sides love to throw around the term, it’s gotten to the point of ridiculousness, mostly because adherents keep pushing the envelope like a postal worker only getting paid commission. Seriously, folks. How exactly does allowing kids to be exposed to drag shows where performers are exposing themselves bring about a better world? And, no, my conservative friends, not that scenario isn’t an example of society getting too woke. It’s an example of people being fucking narcissists and demanding the rest of us go along with their fantasy world.
Right now woke isn’t anything but a meaningless term that keeps changing definitions more frequently than models at a fashion show. And, to me, when you have trouble nailing down a definition that doesn’t come without an exceptions list longer than an Apple Terms of Service Agreement, the problem isn’t the definition; it’s the word. Whenever you have a word that can be used in multiple ways and is solely dependent upon who is using it as far as whether it’s the “right” or “wrong” definition, you create the ambiguity necessary for the word to be used in whatever way people want.
Guess what, kids. “Woke” is no longer a simple word that means only one thing. It’s expanded and is not the Left’s word anymore. It belongs to the people now, and it will continue to be used until it’s burnt out.
Now, how would I define woke? Aside from being the past tense version of wake, in the modern sense of the word I define it as Political Correctness 2.0. Or Political Correctness on PCP. Sayyyyyyyy!
Either way, I’m not a fan of the term, nor am I a fan of how it’s being used to further divide us. Instead of woke, let me offer a slightly longer, but a far more universal concept.
Being a decent human being, respectful of others and not being a fucking asshole.
That’s not too much of an ask, is it?
Editor’s Note: This next section was added after Thomas went to the grocery store.
Fuck that last thing I wrote. The SMOD can’t come soon enough.