Typically, I prefer to discuss ideas rather than people here on the Lexicon. For one, talking ideas doesn’t lead to fractured relationships, hurt feelings, and getting called a heartless asshole. For another, ideas can’t lawyer up and sue me for shit. But there are times when a person stands up and demands you pay attention to him or her.
So, welcome to the Leftist Lexicon, Senator John Fetterman!
John Fetterman
What the Left thinks it means – a capable Democrat Senator fighting for the working man
What it really means – an incapable Democrat Senator appearing to fight for the working man when he isn’t fighting in stupid slap fights
Although you might not know it from his manner of dishevelment… I mean dress, Fetterman’s story is one of relative privilege. He attended Albright College, a private college in Pennsylvania, where the most recent tuition will set you back a cool $27,560 per semester. Oh, but they offer financial aid, so it totally makes it not an overpriced shithole where you only need a 3.05 GPA to be accepted!
For you Leftists out there and Senator Fetterman, that was sarcasm.
After receiving an MBA from the University of Connecticut and a Master of Public Policy from Harvard, Fetterman went into the insurance business, a pretty lucrative career because people will always do stupid shit. Then, he made the jump into politics, which has proven to be more lucrative because people will always ask him to do stupid shit and pay him money to do it. Starting out as the Mayor of Braddock, PA, Fetterman made a name for himself.
Not in a good way.
But that didn’t stop him! He was Lt. Governor and later ran for the US Senate in 2022, beating out Dr. Mehmet “Not the Wizard of” Oz, who was backed by former President Donald Trump. (More on that later.)
Since his election to the Senate, Fetterman has taken up a number of Leftist causes, but he’s still fighting for the working class! He even caused a stir recently due to his propensity to dress like he’s about to mow his lawn instead of representing the state of Pennsylvania. As a result of Republican complaints, that stalwart of decency Sen. Charles “Amy’s Lesser Known Relative” Schumer relaxed the Senate dress code so Fetterman could continue to look like a bum while getting paid a king’s ransom. Fetterman went so far as to make a deal with the “jagoffs in the House”: support Ukraine and not shut down the government and he’ll wear a suit on the Senate floor.
Hope you like what you elected, Pennsylvania.
Actually, that’s a bit harsh. There is plenty of blame to go around, from Dr. Oz being such a bad candidate Hillary Clinton sued him for plagiarism, to Donald Trump, who endorsed Oz over other more viable (and easily more articulate) candidates because…fame equals electability, I guess? Regardless of who you or I blame, the point is Fetterman is a Senator.
And a sham.
Pennsylvania has a blue collar reputation, earned from decades of hard working men and women in the steel industry and other such work-intensive jobs. And they can sense a bullshitter a mile away…usually. In this case, Fetterman convinced enough people to ignore his privileged past and just focus on him being one of them. He sounded the part (i.e. the previous Tweet with the word “jagoffs”), he looked the part, and he supported a $15 per hour minimum wage. He issued a press release supporting striking members of the United Auto Workers and even flew to Michigan to join the picket lines.
But it’s all an act. He’s going through the motions and saying the right things to keep his image of an everyman intact. All he has to do is hate the right people and things (i.e. the rich), and he’s set for life. Just like any other Senator today.
Although many others have commented on Fetterman’s mental faculties taking a hit since he had a stroke in 2022, I’m going to refrain from mocking that. First, it’s tacky. Fun, but tacky. Second, making fun of his issues will only help him appear to be a victim. That’s right, kids, Mr. Big Tough Average Joe plays the victim card like a blackjack dealer on truck stop speed working straight commission because…people made fun of him! Oh the horror!!!!!
Someone get Fetterman a fainting futon, stat!
That doesn’t speak well of Fetterman in the character department because it shows his willingness to exploit personal frailty for political gain. Sure, it’s funny when he garbles his words to the point Kamala Harris looks like William F. Buckley in the erudite speaking arena, but behind the verbal stumbles and occasional mental short circuits lies a man who is playing voters like a Stradivarius.
And if current approval ratings among Democrats are any indication, Fetterman is Itzhak Perlman in gym shorts.
But the same poll that shows Fetterman’s popularity with his own party also shows he’s not as well liked at home. I can only speculate as to why, but it’s clear Fetterman’s new Senator smell might be wearing off, leaving the odor of the Ghost of Cheeseburgers Past lingering in the air. Whether that will continue until he’s up for reelection in 2028 is also a matter of opinion. In the meantime, Pennsylvanians will have to get used to being represented by someone who looks like he could be asking you for spare change.
More to the point, however, John Fetterman is on the level of the Socialist Socialite as far as effectiveness: not very. But when you’re a Leftist darling, you can practically do no wrong until you fall out of favor. Just ask Cindy Sheehan, Kyrsten Sinema, and Bob Menendez. Although you might want to ask that last one sooner rather than later because he might be heading to prison soon. So, as long as Fetterman does what he’s told to do and attack those the Left want attacked, he should be fine.
Which fucking sucks because he’s so incompetent I’m surprised he hasn’t been tapped to be in the Puddin’ Head Joe Administration.
Tag: dr oz
Leftist Lexicon Word of the Week
Every election cycle has its share of controversies and the 2022 midterm elections are no different. In the race for an open Senate seat in Pennsylvania, we have Republican Dr. Mehmet “Dr. Oz” Oz and Democrat John “I’m Not a Doctor, But I Play One in My Parents’ Basement” Fetterman. Now, I don’t have a dog in this race (mainly because a) I don’t live in Pennsylvania, and b) I don’t care for either candidate), but there was something interesting that came up after a recent interview with Fetterman.
An NBC reporter had a one-on-one interview with Fetterman and video footage showed the candidate having clear problems answering questions. Not like the usual politician, mind you. Actual problems understanding and responding to questions. Granted, Fetterman had a stroke which affected his hearing and speech, so this isn’t unusual. However, the Left found a way to attack the reporter and the interview as “ableist” because both made Fetterman look incapable to handle the rigors of being a Senator. In Fetterman’s defense, I’ve had more rigorous naps than what a Senator has to deal with, but I wanted to touch on the ableist topic for a bit, if for no other reason than to expose some of the hidden truths behind the Left’s outrage in this case.
ableism
What the Left thinks it means – discriminating in favor of people who appear to be more capable at the expense of those who are less so
What it really means – another way for Leftists to generate resentment for conditions that may not be controllable
Human beings can be incredibly superficial, as anyone who has followed the fashion, cosmetics, and plastic surgery professions can attest. It’s easy to overlook the potential contributions someone with disabilities can make if we just look at the surface. It’s a matter of finding where they can have the best impact. In a scientific lecture, I would listen to Dr. Stephen Hawking in a heartbeat, but I wouldn’t want him to play center for the Los Angeles Lakers, mainly because, well, he’s dead. Then again, given the Lakers’ recent post-season history, it might be an improvement.
Leftists typically don’t think much beyond the surface level of such a population because to do so would mean they would have to consider a smarter, more inclusive approach. Instead, it’s one-size-fits-all! If you’re black, Hispanic, gay, lesbian, female, disabled/handicapped, or whatever else, you’re automatically oppressed! And if you happen to be a black Hispanic gay lesbian female disabled/handicapped person, you could be the next White House Press Secretary under Joe Biden.
Meanwhile, the “oppressors” (i.e. the “ableists”) are stuck in a Faustian deal when interacting with those who have disabilities. For as selfish and superficial as people can be, there are still quite a few of us out there with genuine concern and compassion. Although we may just want to help, we sometimes overcorrect and wind up treating the handicapped as the incapable, which makes us look ableist. And if we don’t even make an overture to help, we’re branded as ableist anyway because, according to the Left, we’re horrified by those different than us.
Damned if you do, damned if you don’t.
Of course, I’ll be damned if I let Leftists define what I am. (See what I did there?) The fact the Left has taken up this cause at this point for a Senate candidate, while not doing the same for a Republican candidate who had a stroke, says a lot about them, and not a lot of it good. I’m sure they’ll try to pass it off as a change of heart, raised consciousness, or trying to make it sound like it’s no big deal, blaming the reporter for the furor over the story, or comparing him to the aforementioned Dr. Hawking. You know, the usual post-fuck-up protocol for Leftists.
In the meantime, the matter of ableism is still on the table. Although I will concede there are people who will treat people with disabilities as though they were less than human, most people fall into the category is “we have no fucking clue of what to do, so it’s gonna be awkward.” We’re just trying to figure it out without offending anyone. Of course, with Leftists involved, that’s impossible because they’re always offended at something. And when they get offended, they get pissed off and willing to cut a bitch on your behalf.
Which, if you really think about it (and I have because there’s nothing good on TV), is actually diminishing the people Leftists believe they’re supporting. Which, if you really think about it (and I have because there’s still nothing good on TV), is pretty much on-brand for the Left. They need there to be victims so they have someone to fight for, thus fulfilling their psychological needs. As far as the people they’re fighting for are concerned, fuck ’em! It’s the Leftists’ feelings and goals that really matter!
And it’s this attitude that drives the entire ableism idea. You’re not trying to fix anything; you’re just trying to find a way to make yourselves feel less awkward about people with disabilities. Instead of treating each person like a human being, Leftists have to see the handicapped as broken, mainly because Leftists tend to be broken people themselves. And Leftists believe only they can fix anything just by caring enough.
That’s why I never hire Leftist plumbers.
The key to overcoming ableism, or at least what the Leftists feel is ableism, is taking the time to recognize what everyone brings to the table. Sure, you might not want to get in a car with a blind Uber driver, but getting someone to translate Braille? Top of the fucking list. But Leftists are of the attitude that unless you have a blind Uber driver, you’re somehow diminishing the driver’s self-worth, which is bullshit. By trying to shoehorn a person into a position he or she isn’t capable of doing, you’re only hurting the person you’ve attempted to elevate.
Your Honor, I present Exhibits A and B, Joe Biden and Kamala Harris.
Whomever wins the Senate race in Pennsylvania, the Left will accuse people of ableism. If John Fetterman loses, it’ll be because people didn’t look past his mental lapses to see his potential. If he wins, any criticism of his performance will be chalked up as ableism. It’s a no-win situation, but it’s one that can be overcome by not playing at all. Treat everyone the way you want to be treated and pay attention to the needs and wants of the disabled. At worst, you’ll make a new friend or gain a better understanding of what they go through, which will make future interactions…well, still awkward, but less so. But in embracing the awkwardness, we can do something the Left can never do: get past our prejudices.
Oh, and bathe.