In case you haven’t been listening to Leftists (and, to be honest, why would you), we are at war with Iran. An illegal, unconstitutional, and all around not good war that will result in a gazillion deaths of American troops, all because President Donald Trump wanted to start a war to distract from the Epstein Files, which totally prove he’s a pedophile and Trump redacted all of the references to his pedophile activities!
That and $5 can get you a cup of steamed milk with a shot of coffee at Starbucks.
I’m referring to Operation Epic Fury, because apparently Operation Kick Iranian Ass and Break Their Shit didn’t test well in focus groups. As you might expect, opinions on the matter range from pro-military jingoism to anti-military jingoism. You might say it was Jingoism Unchained.
I’ll see myself out…
Actually, I can’t because I have a Lexicon entry to finish!
Operation Epic Fury
What the Left thinks it means – a lot of saber-rattling from a weak President designed to take people’s attentions away from his shortcomings
What it really means – a long-overdue military strike with the possibility of the shit hitting the fan
War in the Middle East is as constant as Leftists being shrill and annoying. Unlike the latter, however, the Middle East isn’t going to ask to speak to our manager. Instead, they’re going to fight the Great Satan,
And given how the US military is an NRA wet dream, it’s not going to be a long fight.
At least, I hope it’s not going to be a long fight. The last time we got involved in that neck of the world, we were there for a while and it ended badly.
While the warhawks, the chickenhawks, and the jive turkeys battle it out in the Thunderdome of ideas, there are a couple of things I need to point out, both of which are directly related to the Left’s bitching over the war.
First, what Trump did isn’t illegal. There’s a little thing called the War Powers Resolution of 1973 that gives the President a far wider berth to initiate military action prior to a formal declaration of war. As long as the President lets Congress know within 48 hours, he/she (still 2 genders, kids) has a total of 90 days before a formal war declaration has to be made.
And, guess what? He did.
I know Leftists work within a different frame of reality than the rest of us, but you’re gonna have a hard time convincing me following the letter and the spirit of the law is illegal.
Now, for the Constitutional part of the lesson. As yet, there hasn’t been a challenge to the War Powers Resolution’s constitutionality by either major party, and I get why: both sides want to be able to wage war without having to go through the actual process of declaring it. Because of this, the War Powers Resolution has been invoked 130 times between 1973 and 2011. Oddly enough, 130 is also the average age of Congresscritters, but I digress.
The point is until the War Powers Resolution is struck down by the US Supreme Court, it’s as constitutional as, well, the Constitution. Just because Congressional Leftists got assmad they weren’t allowed to blab about it ahead of the attack doesn’t mean the Constitution was circumvented. Given how our Leftist pals have a tendency to leak information to foreign powers (I’m looking at you Eric “Fang Fang’s Bitch” Swalwell), I can understand why the Trump Administration didn’t let Congress know too far in advance.
On a side note, I didn’t have “Leftists cheering for people who literally do what they say Christian Nationalists want to do” on my 2026 Bingo card, but here we are.
As much fun as it is to point and laugh at the Left being caught up on the 20 side of an 80-20 issue, we have to maintain some perspective. War isn’t an IRL Call of Duty game. Shit gets real really fast. And despite the calls of the neocons, the warhawks, and more than a few military hardware suppliers, war shouldn’t be the default position. It should be a last step, period.
This is where things get a little dicey for me. On the one hand, Iran has wanted us dead for almost have a century and wasn’t shy about letting us know. On the other, any American intervention in the Middle East has the potential to be a beachfront quagmire of a clusterfuck. If we want to make progress there, we can’t half-ass it. We have to go in with our full ass and get shit done.
That’s where we’ve dropped the ball in the past. Although the Left accuses the Trump Administration of trying to conduct nation-building in Iran and elsewhere, the fact is we’re more nation-subcontractors. We’ll go in and wreck shit, but once the destruction is done, a lot of times we bail out before the country we’ve turned into rubble and shell casings can ask “So, now what?”
And given the fact we got Iran into this mess in the first place back in 1979, we kinda owe it to Iran to fix this situation.
That’s why we have to be verrrrrrry careful how we proceed with Operation Epic Fury. Especially with the spelling. I’ve already seen the Interwebs calling it Operation Epic Furry, and when you go furry, there’s no going back.
Don’t ask me how I know.
The point is we broke Iran, and now we have to fix it and do it better than we’ve done, well, since 1979. We have a bad track record when it comes to the “so now what” phase of the military action, and that has to stop. In the aftermath of war, there’s a lot of rebuilding to be done, especially when it comes to infrastructure. When we go into a country and break their shit, we look pretty shitty when we disappear like Claude Rains cosplaying as Harvey the Rabbit leaving the people we were helping to pick up after us. Dick move, bro!
Now, we need to approach Iran with the same attitude we had after World War II. Not only did we blow shit up, but we helped rebuild the countries we blew up. That helped build our reputation around the world as one of the good guys, and we need that kind of positive PR these days after decades of being hands-on when it came to blowing shit up, but hands-off when it came time to build shit back up.
And if Trump can do that, he will go a long way towards solidifying his place in history, but grease the skids for the GOP going into midterms and the 2028 Presidential election. Granted, the Left are too busy being tone deaf assholes to field an even marginally passable candidate or come up with a platform that will appeal to people who have normal hair colors, but let’s not count our chickens before they hatch here.
Regardless of how you feel about Operation Epic Fury, it’s a little late to try to pull back the reins to get our war machine to slow down, let alone stop. We’re involved, so we have to be willing to do all of the hard work now and later. If we don’t, we’re looking at having Iran hate us even more than they already did under the religious leadership there before we gave them backstage access to the hereafter.
And the 72 virgins? All dead ringers for Yasser Arafat. Or is that Ringo Starr?
