If there’s been one policy idea that President Brick Tamland has been trying to get off the ground, it’s student loan debt forgiveness. Even after the Supreme Court smacked it down, our boy Brick has continued to push for it. Recently, he rolled out new initiatives to help those with student loan debt to the tune of a measly $7.7 billion. In spite of the fact the Supreme Court said he doesn’t have the power to do it, as Nancy Pelosi noted.
But that’s not what this piece is about.
When announcing these new initiatives, Secretary of Education Miguel Cardona said the following:
We must continue to protect borrowers from predatory institutions—and work toward a higher education system that is affordable to students and taxpayers.
Hmmm…now, where have I heard the term “predatory” used before…oh, yeah, the mortgage bank crisis!
Without going into the gory details, I was in the mortgage industry when the shit hit the fan. Through government fuck-ups disguised as helping people, lenders skirting the law to make sales, house-flippers whose only motivation was to make a quick buck, and borrowers being dumber than a bag of hammers about Economics 101 for Dummies, the mortgage industry was in a world of hurt. Naturally, people started looking for any kind of help.
Enter Big Daddy Government! They would fix the problem by going after the easiest of targets: the lenders themselves. Now, I’m not saying all of the lenders were working above board and even some of the more reputable ones had hinky loan terms that you would need to be careful to read and understand before signing on the dotted line. But speaking from what I saw more often than not, the problems blamed solely on the banks were (or at least should have been) a shared responsibility.
That’s one of the reasons I didn’t like “The Big Short” as much as everyone else did. In an attempt to create an entertaining movie-going experience, it left out a LOT of shady shit and utter incompetence. And that’s just within the federal government!
Anyway, the point is people looked to the government to help bring those predatory lenders to heel, and the government responded by…expanding itself. Up until the mortgage crisis, mortgage complaints fell under the umbrella of the Office of the Comptroller of the Currency. But those DC galaxy-brain thinkers didn’t think it was enough to make every mortgage bank jump through the OCC’s hoops, so they created a new agency, the Consumer Financial Protection Bureau, thanks in part to Chief Running Mouth, Elizabeth Warren.
And having dealt with them on numerous occasions, we were better off with just the OCC. Of course, we would be even better off with monkeys and typewriters, but that’s neither here nor there.
At this point, you might be wondering what in the Wide World of Fuck this has to do with student loan debt. It’s all in the approach. Since Leftists had success in convincing people the mortgage loans they signed their names to were all a part of the evil cabal of Big Banking, they’re trying the same thing with student loan debt. They’re even using the same language. On the plus side, it’s one of the rare times Leftists actually recycle, so yay, I guess.
If the Social Media Platform Known As Twitter is any indication, this tactic is working again. Young adults who know there are 90 gajillion genders but think 2 + 2 equals potato (hat tip to Simon Miller for that turn of a phrase, by the way) are being allowed to straddle the line between being competence and incompetence simultaneously. You know, just like Kamala Harris. And invariably, they’re going to get what they want because Leftists are never ones to let a crisis (especially one of their own creation) go to waste.
Others have astutely pointed out President Tamland’s student loan forgiveness is a big gift to the banks who lent the money in the first place, which it most certainly is. And others have also pointed out the loan isn’t forgiven so much as being pushed onto other people. This is also correct. But what I don’t see too many people talking about is what the next step could be.
And having seen this shit play out before, I think I have a pretty good idea of what’s next.
I see this playing out in one of two ways. First, some DC douchebag with more vices than brains may try to put student loan debt under the umbrella of the CFPB. In a demented kind of way, this makes sense. After all, the CFPB is charged with holding big banks accountable for predatory loan practices (even if they don’t understand regular loan practices), so it’s not that much of a leap to suggest they devote a portion of their efforts on student loans.
Second, and the one I think is more likely, some DC douchebag is going to suggest the creation of a brand new federal agency like the CFPB, but with a focus on student loan practices. Remember, one of my Immutable Laws of Life is a bureaucracy’s sole purpose is to find ways to make itself more expansive and incapable of being removed. So, what’s to say a CFPB II: Electric Boogaloo is out of the question?
I mean, aside from me, of course.
In either case, expect the federal government to get more involved with fucking up student loans in the near future. Just try to act surprised when it happens.
Day: May 26, 2024
Leftist Lexicon Word of the Week
Election years can be wilder than a Motley Crue after party with Charlie Sheen, Willie Nelson, and Lindsay Lohan. This year’s election, though, makes that scenario look like a Mormon church picnic combined with an IBM leadership forum. From the Left cheering the legal process preventing presumed Republican candidate Donald Trump from campaigning (and having it backfire on them in ways they have yet to fathom) to telling people the flaming shitstorm of an economy brought to you by Bidenomics isn’t really that bad, we are seeing a lot of chicanery before the first ballot is cast.
Or before the first 5 billion ballots for Biden can be fabricated by Leftist groups, as the case may be.
In recent decades, there’s been a concern that non-residents are allowed to vot, a concern that’s been raised this year as well. And Leftists, using all the logic and knowledge at their disposal, have said “Nuh-uh!” So, what is the truth of the matter? Well, let’s just say the Left doth protest too much.
non-resident voting
What the Left thinks it means – a conspiracy theory dreamed up by Republicans to stir up anger and fear of immigrants
What it really means – something the Left has been allowing to happen because it helps them
There are a number of criteria that must be met in order to vote in most elections, as dictated by the federal government. And in case you don’t want to open the link yourself, the one at the very top is…you must be a citizen to vote. Of course, Leftists are quick to point out it’s already illegal for non-residents to vote in state and federal elections, so we don’t need more laws.
Remember these are the same assholes who believe more gun laws are needed to protect people after every shooting.
Anyway, I do have to give the Left credit. They are correct non-residents can’t vote in state or federal elections. However, they are allowed to vote in local elections in some places. So, if they’re only voting in local elections, what’s the harm?
Because it’s only a matter of time before Leftists start demanding non-residents be allowed to vote in state and federal elections because “they live here, too.” Normally, this might fall under the slippery slope fallacy (and, to be honest, it still might), but when you consider this sort of thing has happened more than a couple of times in my lifetime, I’m going to call bullshit on anyone saying it’s a fallacy in this case. Remember, it wasn’t that long ago Leftists went from gays just wanting to be treated like everyone else to gays being allowed to dictate how other people live under fear of public humiliation.
Because tolerance, you bigot!
The push to allow non-residents to vote is similar to another movement Leftists have tried to advance, that being allowing felons to vote once they’re out of prison. Most states have a restriction on felons voting until their sentences are complete or after a probation period, but in Maine, Vermont, and the District of Columbia, felons never lose their right to vote. Granted, the most hardened criminals in Vermont are maple syrup traffickers, but the point is still there. What was once a “no voting ever again” sentence has been turned into a “well, maybe we will let you vote again if you promise to be good boys and girls, m’kay.”
And we’re not supposed to think this will happen with non-residents why exactly? Oh, yeah, because we’re not supposed to notice this shit.
Just like we’re not supposed to notice how state and local agencies aren’t exactly following the laws on the books. Recently, a South Caroline Medicare office gave a non-resident a packet which included…a voter registration form. Leftists will be quick to point out getting the form doesn’t mean the non-resident was going to register to vote or even vote. Then, why would the packet include it automatically? Granted, it could be an oversight or the way the bureaucracy runs because Lord knows they can’t be allowed to make exceptions.
Then, there’s California’s “Motor Voter” Law. For those of you unfamiliar with it because you have lives outside the Interwebs, this law allows people to register to vote when they get a driver’s license. It’s super convenient…and also a good way to get non-residents registered to vote without so much as a first glance, let alone a second one. And with California being a sanctuary state (meaning they won’t check for citizenship if a non-resident is caught after a crime or in general), that means there is no check on whether non-residents are voting in more than local elections.
And if you think I’m picking on California, I am, but it’s not just a problem there. In our nation’s capitol, it’s estimated there are over 42,000 non-citizens eligible to vote in city elections as of 2021, thanks to a bill passed by the DC City Council. Granted, it’s unlikely these non-residents could sway the elections in a district where the choices are Democrat or other Democrat, but it has a symbolic significance.
After all, if the area where we house most of our degenerates, idiots, and psychopaths allows non-residents to vote (but enough about the DC Mayor’s office), it’s only a matter of time before Leftists make the case more communities should be open to the idea.
Sure, if you want to make Mos Eisley look like an Amish village.
It’s at this point I get to introduce a concept Leftists don’t get yet: a law is only as effective as its ability and/or desire to be enforced. When there’s a vested interest in a law not being enforced, it gets easier to overlook criminals, which makes it a lot easier to break the law with impunity. Just ask Californians. The good ones, not those who complain major companies are leaving California after being looted on the regular. And when no one’s enforcing the law…more people will be tempted to break the law.
Funny how that works, isn’t it?
There is an argument to be made for non-residents being allowed to vote in local and school board elections, but it will require a commitment to enforce the laws on the books. Since that’s not going to happen thanks to Leftists, that argument is a non-starter with me. Not because the Leftists are shitheads, but because it sullies the election process.
And because Leftists are shitheads.
Allowing non-residents to vote for anything more than what new Lays potato chip flavor should be produced is a recipe for disaster and many Donald Trump Truth Social posts about election interference. And the sad part is he’s right, albeit with a lot of exaggeration. When we can’t even verify the people casting votes in an election are eligible under federal law, it makes our elections less secure than a crack rock near Hunter Biden. When you consider the number of votes separating Donald Trump and President Brick Tamland in 2020 in Arizona, Georgia, and Wisconsin, even 15,000 illegally cast votes can make the difference between a winner and a loser.
Or a decent economy and a flaming shitshow of an economy.
Unless you like having to take out a third mortgage to buy a carton of milk, maybe you might want to take non-residents voting a lot more seriously.
Extremist Makeover – Media Matters Edition
Recently, Media Matters for America had to let go of a number of employees because inflation made Uncle George’s checks not stretch as far as they used to. At least they can still stretch the truth as good as they ever could!
As often happens with any layoffs, there needs to be a look inward to see what went wrong and how to improve. Since we’re dealing with Media Matters here, it’s unlikely they’ll do it or if they do they’ll blame those evil right wing liars. However, as an outsider, I’m willing to give them my thoughts and I won’t even expect a paycheck from Uncle George for it!
Let’s deal with the elephant…or donkey in this case in the room: Media Matters is a joke. And I’m not talking a good one. I’m talking Hannah Gadsby doing a knock knock joke on a double bill with Dane Cook bad. So bad, Carlos Mencia and Amy Schumer refuse to steal it.
A lot of that stems from the fact your perception of the world is similar to almost every other so-called fact-checker out there: Republicans always lie even when they’re telling the truth, and Democrats never lie even when they’re using the truth like a moist towelette at a rib joint. Media Matters may not have been the first to do this, but they were certainly the most well-heeled in doing it. And now, everybody and their grandmother is a fact-checker and with a similar track record of failure.
Put simply, fact-checking Republicans is stale, and in the post-COVID world where the people on the same side as Media Matters were caught wrong, lying, or worst yet ignoring the rules they set for everyone else, kinda pointless. If I wanted slanted fact checks with a restraining order against interacting with reality, I’d watch MSNBC. Of course, I’d also be a raging alcoholic because I’d be watching MSNBC, but that’s not the point.
The point is Media Matters needs rebranding. If you’re not going to turn away Uncle George’s money, at least you could lean into the humorous aspects of your fact checks. Granted, this humor is unintentional, so why not make it intentional? There is always room for more parody news sites, and when your only other competition is The Babylon Bee and The Onion, you have an opportunity here. You probably won’t topple the Bee because, well, they’re funny, but you can take a chunk out of The Onion’s readership by being funnier than the past few seasons of “Saturday Night Live.”
And that’s not even that high of a bar when you think about it.
Replace some of your hard-as-a-Nerf-bat-hitting researchers with comedy writers. I mean, Leftists keep telling us how much funnier they are than Conservatives, so let’s see their chops. Hire Jon Stewart and some of his old “Daily Show” writers. At worst, you’ll fail, but you’ll still be somewhat funny in the process.
Now, I’m sure the hardcore Media Matters suckers…I mean Soros trust fund recipients…I mean employees will balk at not only my characterization of their work, but also my proposed solution. After all, in the decades they’ve been in existence, they’ve done a solid 10-15 minutes of good work. You know, give or take an hour. To you I say this: you’re the problem. You take this crusade of exposing right wing lies so seriously it’s clouding your judgments. The reality of the situation is you’re only appealing to a core demographic who are inclined to agree with you.
Ask the former hosts of Air America how that turned out. Provided you can catch them during their break from asking people if they want fries with their burgers. Spoiler Alert: it doesn’t work unless your core audience is willing to part with their hard-earned money to buy the stuff you advertise. That’s where Air America failed, even with some well-heeled donors including Uncle George. If your target demographic is so poor they can’t afford to pay attention, you are in a money pit.
At some point, you will be there, if you aren’t already. Media Matters is a sinking ship, no longer the cutting edge of Leftist thought and research. Granted, it was more like a dull butter spreader than a cutting edge, but you get the point. You’re obsolete. So, you can either stay obsolete or make changes that will keep your brand viable. The choice is yours, but in either case I will laugh, whether it’s with you or at you.
So, win-win, I guess?