Lately there have been quite a few stories about people taking up residence in a property they don’t own, a practice known as “squatting.” And it’s not just catching on here, but in England as well. Yes, Chef Gordon Ramsay had to deal with squatters in one of his pubs (and I’ll bet there was a lot of profanity used in the process).
So, why the sudden interest in squatting? I’m glad you asked…or I asked…either way I’m glad the question was asked. Otherwise, this was going to be a really short Lexicon entry. It’s easy to blame it on President Brick Tamland’s economic policies being so shitty it puts the toilets at Chipotle to shame, but there’s a bit more to it.
And that means I get to talk about it.
squatting
What the Left thinks it means – people taking over properties for necessity
What it really means – people deciding to say “fuck property rights because reasons”
The history of squatting is long and distinguished. And by distinguished, I mean absolutely fucking nuts. Long story short, people have taking up residence in other people’s homes for centuries and there have been various ways to deal with them. Usually, these methods involve violence, but then lawyers and politicians got involved, so things had to change.
Hence, the creation of squatter’s rights. Yes, the same geniuses who couldn’t find their ways out of a non-existent paper bag decided people who openly break the law needed rights that would prevent them from being prosecuted for…breaking the fucking law. Every state has its own set of laws/guidelines/mere suggestions on squatting, but the result is the same: people taking something that doesn’t belong to them and not compensating the owner in any way.
Hmmmm…sounds like theft to me, kids!
Unfortunately, not everyone agrees. Squatting is rampant in Georgia, Texas, and Florida, and the laws (until recently) have put the onus on the property owners to jump through bureaucratic and legal hoops to get squatters to leave. And when you consider the squatters are stealing income from the property owners by not paying rent, that puts quite a burden on someone who is just trying to abide by the law.
Hmmmm…sounds like gun control laws, kids!
More to the point, however, is a notion Leftists have tried to push in recent years, that being housing is a human right. That has opened the door for people to assert squatting rights to inhabit buildings. But we’re not talking run down apartment buildings in bad neighborhoods or buildings on the verge of being condemned here. It seems squatters want to live in nice places. And since these nice places are often owned by greedy landlords or companies, it’s clear the squatters have the clear moral authority to take over these properties and make them into…well, unsafe hovels to be honest.
That’s where political ideology comes into play. With law enforcement in different parts of the country being weaker than the plot of a Michael Bay movie, squatting has become one of those ho-hum crimes. You know, like robbery, purchasing a child for sexual purposes, and violence. (And that’s just in California!) And guess who’s been at the forefront of all of this?
Leftists. Every. Damn. Time.
But don’t you make any bad comments on Facebook or they’ll throw not just the book at you, but the entire fucking library!
Anyway, a lack of enforcement makes squatting that much easier because trying to evict them is considered a civil matter instead of a criminal one, so the police are less likely to help. (Need I remind the men and women in blue we’re dealing with property theft here, not just some squabble between people?) Throw in the probability of fraud in the form of non-enforceable contracts or even non-existent contracts, and squatting becomes more criminal in nature.
But since the victims of these crimes are property owners (who Leftists think can just give up some of their property to those less fortunate because compassion), the Left doesn’t see the problem. At least, not until they find their luxury homes overrun with Phish groupies whose only source of income is investing their belly button lint in the NFT market.
For those of you unfamiliar, NFT stands for Nobody’s Fucking Trading.
Through this class warfare, the Left is able to perpetuate the idea of righteous takeover of other people’s properties under the notion of a right to housing. However, there’s a flaw in that thinking because of the nature of rights as compared to entitlements, which the “right” to housing is closer to being. A right is something you already have, like the right to free speech, gun ownership, and voting. You simply need to exercise it.
On the other hand, an entitlement is something you’re owed for one reason or another, like a pension or Social Security. With entitlements, there is a debt to be paid or a wrong to be righted. With housing, there is no real debt, wrong, or other obligation that can be addressed by a property owner giving up some or all of his/her property.
Hence, the Left pushing for people to feel entitled to other people’s shit, but shrouding it in the notion of a right. Most Americans take rights pretty seriously. Not as seriously as anything Taylor Swift is doing these days, mind you, but it’s still up there. By framing housing as a right, it cranks the level of seriousness to 11, and we’re more likely to treat it like a right.
Which is just what the Left wants.
After all, the Left believes government is the source of all good in the world, the ultimate arbiter of right and wrong, and the only way to achieve justice. If enough people believe housing is a right, there’s a good chance someone’s going to ask that all important question, “Where are my car keys?” Oh, and the other question, “Why isn’t our government doing anything about this?” Then, just like Oprah with a new scam to get wine moms to buy stupid shit with her name on it, government swoops in to save the day!
Only, the exact opposite happens.
Where things get really messy is when you consider the impact on contract law. Whenever there’s a transfer of property of any kind, there’s going to be a written agreement between/among the parties involved. And, yes my Leftist friends, this is a contract, and it can be legally enforced. When Leftists decide squatting is okay, they’re also saying, “We don’t give a fuck about that contract you have!” And as we’ve seen with other ventures (can you say “Obamacare”?), as long as the Left thinks they can do something better, they’re going to do it, whether you’re involved or not. After all, they’re smarter than the rest of us. Just ask them!
Yet, these same Leftists can’t figure out how this idea can backfire on them, or when it actually has. Remember the fuss Leftists made about Ron DeSantis and Greg Abbott sending illegal immigrants to “sanctuary cities”? If you think about it (and I have because I have a life that makes Boo Radley look like a bon vivant), the same approach can be applied to squatters. From what I’ve heard, Martha’s Vineyard has plenty of space and people willing to help! And if anyone asks, say you self-identify as an illegal immigrant!
But if we want a more realistic, yet less humorous solution, I have one: make squatting a criminal offense, like Ron DeSantis did. I’m sure Leftists are going to fight this in court because, well, that’s what they do whenever someone passes a law to unfuck a situation they created, but it will be interesting to see how the Left’s lawyers are going to argue theft, fraud, and property destruction are civil matters. Have your popcorn ready for those arguments, kids!
In the meantime, property owners need to keep up on what’s going on at their properties and follow the rules so the government knows who owns a property. Granted, this won’t stop squatters and their Leftist enablers from trying to pull a fast one, but it will make it a lot harder for them to convince the government and police they have a valid claim to the property. Make it as tough on them as they would make it on you if you had a squatter.
And, at least for now, stop short of booby trapping the property. Fences make good neighbors, but shrapnel wounds…not so much.
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