In case you haven’t heard, the midterm elections are THE MOST IMPORTANT ELECTION IN OUR HISTORY! And you can tell I’m serious because I typed it caps, italics, and bold. But you don’t have to take it from me. Leftists have been hyping this election cycle more than Don King, or Don Lemon for that matter.
From suggesting this year’s elections may be the last free and fair ones in America to being the last chance to remove the Trump influence from the country, the Left can’t be accused of underselling how important they think this election cycle is. After all, democracy is on the ballot, right? If Republicans win, women will lose the right to choose what to do with their bodies, Joe Biden will face impeachment, and blacks will be put back in chains.
Oh, wait. That last one was something Joe Biden said in 2012.
Anyway, the Left has done a great job in building up the midterms, but there’s one tiny problem: they’re not the most important election in our lifetimes. In fact, it’s going to be like any other election in our lifetimes. There will be winners and losers, close calls and blowouts, and just as much division as we had before Election Day. It’ll just be a new bunch of idiots to fuck things up.
And the thing is I’ve heard this song and dance before. It always seems as though one major party or the other trots out the same “most important election of our lifetimes” bullshit when they’re about to get bitch-slapped by the voting public. It’s a cynical way to drum up last-minute support. If you can whip potential voters into a fear-fueled frenzy that if the other party wins a portal to Hell will open up, it might be enough to get them to show up and vote. And with midterm voter turnout being significantly lower than during Presidential election years, every vote counts, so the fear gets turned up to 12 (because turning it up to 11 just isn’t good enough).
And people wonder why I’m so cynical about politicians.
It’s funny to me that the same ideology that gave us “Hope and Change” in 2008 is giving us “No Hope and Don’t Change” not even a generation later. To put it bluntly, I think Donald Trump really fucked up the Left by not being Hillary Clinton’s bitch like they thought he would be. (However, they did get Hillary being a bitch, so I guess they kinda got what they wanted?)
Thus, the 2020 Presidential election was “the most important election in our history.” The Left had to defeat Donald Trump to avoid sliding into a fascist totalitarian regime that denied science and would be the laughing stock of the world. Good thing we voted Trump out of office so none of that could happen, right?
For the Leftists reading this, that was sarcasm.
But I’m not being sarcastic when I say the Left and the Right need to lay off the “most important election in our lifetime” bullshit. If you want to get people to vote for your candidates, give us a reason to vote for them, not vote against the opposition.
And while you’re at it, field some candidates that are worth a damn. I find it hard to believe the best candidates Pennsylvania Democrats and Republicans could field are a stroke victim with clear cognitive issues and a doctor made famous thanks to a connection to Oprah Winfrey. If ever there was an argument to be made for allowing third parties equal footing in elections, this is it.
So, whatever your reason for voting this year (and in the future), go out and vote, not because you want to make history or because you’re afraid of the future under an opposing party’s rule, but because you want to do your civic duty.
By writing in the names of cartoon characters when the choices you’re given suck more than a lot lizard trying to make bail money.
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