After a particularly disastrous performance in any venture, there are usually two groups of people: ones who reflect, retool, and try again, and ones who point fingers trying to find a scapegoat. This past week, CNN got a load of people from the Left doing the latter after their debate between President Brick Tamland and Donald Trump.
Well, unless you want to go with the idea Donald Trump zapped the President with an energy weapon that made him look like, well, himself.
And this Leftist dumbfuck wasn’t the only one. Leftists all over the Social Media Network Formerly Known as Twitter came up with any number of excuses, but the general consensus was CNN fucked President Tamland.
And now we’re going to see why that is quite possibly the shittiest take ever.
CNN
What the Left thinks it means – a cable news network who is in the back pocket of Donald Trump
What it really means – a once and hopefully no longer DNC stenographer
I know I’ve gone over some of this stuff before, so I’ll keep it brief. When CNN first went on the air, it was a media marvel. A 24 hour news channel that you could tune in to any time of the day or night and get caught up on the day’s events. It was novel and changes the face of news forever.
Over time, though, the novelty wore off and they had to start generating buzz (and revenue) somehow. And, let’s face it, Bernard Shaw Is My Daddy t-shirts weren’t exactly flying off the shelves. Then, the first Gulf War came about and CNN got a whole new set of eyes on it. And with those eyes came a feeling of invincibility. No one else could do what they did as well as they could do it. They were Kings and Queens of the Mountain.
Which made them cocky and sloppy. Over time, their on-air talent and their talent behind the scenes started letting their political biases creep into the product. And eventually, the network started being called the Clinton News Network after its mostly favorable coverage of President Bill “I Don’t Know Where My Pants Are, Why Do You Ask?” Clinton.
And if you thought CNN wanted to slob Slick Willie’s knob, watching them cover Barack “I Don’t Know Where My Balls Are, Ask Michelle” Obama would make even the most tenured sex worker look positively virginal.
Put simply, CNN is in the tank for the Left. So, it boggles the mind how the Left could even consider CNN to be on Trump’s side. Even the two moderators of the Trump-Tamland debate were on record as being critical of the former President. And in Jake Tapper’s case, that criticism was rather pointed. So, when they handled the debacle…I mean debate with a fairly even tone, I was honestly surprised.
And apparently so were the Leftists. They wanted Tapper and Dana Bash to fact check Trump on the spot instead of letting him say what he wanted. (No word yet from these same Leftists if they wanted the two to fact check Biden in the same manner, by the way.) But there’s one tiny problem with that approach: they were moderators, not fact checkers. And after the Candy Crowley debacle in 2012, I would think Leftists wouldn’t want moderators to let their masks slip that much.
This change from being a reliable Leftist media outlet to something closer to centrist is by design. Recent leadership changes within CNN signaled a move back towards the straight news reporting they were once known for while allowing for a narrower focus on prominent news stories. While still not quite as centrist as some would say CNN is, they’re at least acknowledging there’s room for improvement.
Which, of course, makes Leftists lose their collectivist shit.
The thing is it’s frightfully easy to be a Leftist media outlet. All you need to do is find a way to keep money rolling in since you’re preaching to the same choir night after night. CNN used to be able to do this, but with the advent of MSNBC on the further Left and Fox News on the Right, it found itself trying to appeal to both sides and making nobody happy.
Why, it’s almost as if alienating potential audience members is a bad fucking idea!
So, from a business standpoint, CNN moving closer to the middle is fiscally responsible. Whether people still see it as a viable news source is yet to be seen. And judging from Leftist reactions to even the slightest move to the right of Trotsky, it didn’t go over well.
This is for a couple of reasons. First, Leftists suck at basic economics. Second, they tend to look at things through an emotional lens (which helps explain the first point). And third, Leftists hate anything that removes even an iota of power from their grasp or exposes their ideology to ridicule.
Enter President Tamland’s debate performance, which is less of a disaster than a Hindenburg movie by Michael Bay written by Tommy Wiseau. Although I would pay good money for Wiseau to make a cameo just to say “Oh hi-drogen!”
You can stop booing now.
Since Leftists are less capable of admitting a mistake than The Fonz, immediately CNN became the primary reason President Tamland looks like, well, himself. Of course, the real reason Leftists attacked CNN for Tamland’s disaster is not that they went out of their way to make him look bad, but that…they noticed he looked bad and didn’t come to his defense. They tried to do some damage control after the debate by fact-checking Trump and Tamland, but the damage was done. Tamland looked frail, confused, and without mental clarity. But at least we beat Medicare, amirite?
And after weeks and weeks of denying it, CNN among others had to admit President Tamland was not firing on all cylinders. Or maybe on any cylinders, for that matter. No more “cheap fakes.” No more deep fakes. No more right wing talking points. The Emperor had no clothes, but maybe had on adult diapers.
I have my issues (or subscriptions as the case may be) with CNN, but I have to defend them here. They didn’t cause President Tamland to look bad, and that’s even with all the preparations he did prior to the debate (including going to the debate stage). He’s just that bad of a candidate this time around, and no about of finger-pointing is going to change that.
So, to any Leftists reading this, lay off CNN. It’s not their fault your side decided to run a Strom Thurmond body double in 2024. You had your chance to pick someone else, even with the knowledge he was getting as sharp as a Nerf ball on the regular. It’s your fuck-up, so enjoy the ride.
And as for CNN, welcome to what conservatives and other non-Leftists have experienced for decades! Don’t worry. We have drinks, snacks, and more open-minded people than the Left. And what’s more, we validate parking!
Tag: cnn
Leftist Lexicon Word of the Week
Leftists tend to freak out about things they don’t like because, well, they’re Leftists. This week’s freakout is courtesy of their favorites and ours, former President Donald Trump. See, Trump is running for President in 2024 and CNN…gave him airtime for a town hall meeting.
I know! I was shocked that a cable news network would spend time talking to a famous political figure in an attempt to get ratings!
Although Leftist freakouts are as common as bad pop music songs right now, Leftists are just as predictable with their responses: hashtag activism. For a short time, Leftists on Twitter got #BoycottCNN trending which is…something, I guess? What is a bit more certain is I’m going to mock the hell out of it!
#BoycottCNN
What the Left thinks it means – a response to CNN allowing Donald Trump airtime to spread his hateful message
What it really means – a lame response to CNN allowing Donald Trump airtime to promote his Presidential campaign
First, a bit of background. A long time ago, CNN was the place to go on cable to get news, mainly because it was the only place to go on cable to get news. For the most part, they played it straight down the line, but over time CNN became the source for many a Leftist squawking point, thanks to the Commander in Briefs, Bill Clinton. Seems more than a few of the staff were more in the tank for him than Michael Dukakis. (And if you got that reference, I’m eternally grateful.)
From there, CNN’s descent into Leftist madness (but I repeat myself) got more pronounced. And once other cable news networks like Fox News and MSNBC got involved, it was only a matter of time before the only name in the cable news game became an afterthought, as the ratings showed. It got so bad at one point that reruns of Yogi Bear beat CNN in the ratings.
A change was needed, so CNN tried to go hard against Trump in an attempt to suck off some of MSNBC’s viewership. One tiny problem: Leftists really don’t like CNN because they’re not Leftist enough. After all, they…allowed conservatives an opportunity to speak! Oh, the horror! And with MSNBC being batshit crazy enough for Leftists, CNN didn’t stand a chance.
Enter Chris Licht, who became the new boss at CNN in 2022. He decided to take a different approach, one that was unheard of a few years prior: reporting actual news. This got him branded as someone who wanted to make CNN more centrist (i.e. to the right of Stalin), which Leftists simply can’t abide because…reasons! Leftists even went so far as to call CNN “Fox News Lite” because of the move.
Let’s just say the ratings haven’t been going in the right direction yet. The reason is simple: CNN pissed off too many people. The Right won’t tune in because of the decades of carrying water for the Left, and the Left won’t tune in because they have MSNBC to parrot their squawking points without even the slightest deviation. No matter what Licht does, it’s never going to be enough.
But that’s not the issue at hand.
The Leftist response to CNN doing what it’s done for other Presidential candidates (albeit with less than stellar results) is par for the course at worst. But the Twitter temper tantrum behind #BoycottCNN is a new level of Leftist impotence and idiocy. First off, didn’t Leftists on social media try to #BoycottTwitter? Yes, yes, they did. And it worked as well as you might expect: not at all. So, they go on Twitter to pass around the hashtag!
That’s what the kids like to call a self own.
Then, there’s the “me too” aspect of this hashtag. (Not to be confused with #MeToo, which is a completely different Leftist shitshow.) As many Twitter Leftists were so quick to point out, they were already boycotting CNN, as though it were a badge of honor. At this point, boycotting CNN is like boycotting “The Golden Girls” (although I am still involved in a letter-writing campaign about Estelle Getty): it’s pretty much a moot point. They’re already swirling the drain, so losing tens of tens of viewers isn’t going to change that. Piling on, even virtually, is pointless.
But then again, pointless actions are what the Left specialize in. See also: #MeToo.
The part that really tickles me is how the Left reacted to the shift in CNN’s approach to news. When you really think about it (and I do because I need something to do while I browse Twitter), the Left is upset a news organization is moving away from propaganda and more towards actual reporting of facts…but the Left says their favorite cable news shows are already doing actual reporting…so…
Yeah. I got nothing.
I take that back. I actually got something here, and it’s all about controlling the narrative. The Left cannot abide not being in control of the flow of information, and with both Twitter and CNN moving more towards the right as a means to even the playing field, the Left fear they’re losing control of the ability to shape what people think. Which they are, mainly because they don’t understand people in general. And business. And success. And long term thinking. And…well, you get the idea.
But as with so many hashtags, the #BoycottCNN shelf-life will be thankfully short, and the damage will be minimal. Yet, the Left overplayed its hand with the boycott because it gives us an insight into how the operate and why they reacted the way they did. That gives us ammunition to use in the future while also putting their objections into context.
In the end, though, CNN is going to become a casualty in the cable news wars by its own hand. They believed in their own invincibility and didn’t plan for a future where a test pattern could draw better numbers than their prime time shows. CNN burned up a lot of its early credibility worse than Mrs. O’Leary’s cow, but if they’re truly serious about getting back to hard news without as much spin, I wish them all the best. It’s the harder and longer road, but it will bring the best outcome possible.
Plus, it’ll piss off Leftists, which is always entertaining.
Leftist Lexicon Word of the Week
As much as I rail on Leftists, there are times when I have to facepalm because Republicans do something incredibly stupid. Republican Representative Lauren Boebert was caught on video relaying a story about a time when she shared an elevator with fellow Representative Ilhan Omar and suggested the latter was a terrorist. After a few calls for Boebert to be removed from committees because of “Islamophobia”, an apology call, and Omar hanging up on Boebert, the matter seems to be exactly where it was before we entered into this nightmare story.
With the Hatfields and McCoys looking on and saying, “Glad we weren’t this bad!”
Leftists love to call for accountability when someone outside of their bubble says or does something they feel is beyond the pale. And Republicans, being Republicans, often cave to the demands, while others point out the lack of accountability on the Left’s side. Does that mean there’s another definition of accountability the Left uses that differs from ours? Why, yes, yes it does.
accountability
What the Left thinks it means – holding people responsible when they are in the wrong
What it really means – holding some people accountable when they are in the wrong
The operative word in the definitions above is “some.” Leftists are great at demanding others be held accountable for everything from an egregious violation of social mores to getting the last McRib at the drive-thru. And to be fair, the McRibs are pretty tasty, but the point is the Left are selective in their accountability demands.
Let’s take a look at the aforementioned Representative Omar. Not that long ago, she got into a bit of hot water for making disparaging remarks about Israel. Something about Israel hypnotizing the world? Well, the Left went into defense mode (because, well, they hate Israel, too), but there was enough heat that the House of Representatives attempted to pass a resolution against Ilhan. Unfortunately, Democrats controlled the House and the resolution against Ilhan became a resolution…against Islamophobia. Not only was Ilhan spared from accountability, but the issue that prompted the resolution in the first place got lost in the shuffle.
Since then, Ilhan has made other statements just as hateful towards others without consequence, and no matter how many resolutions are introduced to condemn her, the Left still circles the wagons around her and portray her as a victim. Because…punching down or something. (Don’t look at me. I don’t get it either.)
As you might expect, this is by design. The Left’s accountability duplicity comes courtesy of our old friend, Saul Alinsky. One of his Rules for Radicals is “Make the enemy live up to its own book of rules.” This bit of rhetorical judo allows the Left to attack Republicans and conservatives for being knuckleheads without having to hold their own knuckleheads to the same standards because their standards are different. Put another way, the Left’s double standards are their standards.
And when you point it out to them, they will either deny it, attack you for figuring it out, or divert the question. As someone who grew up with actual parents, none of these tactics actually work. All they do is make you look more guilty. Then, Leftists will try to find loopholes and technicalities to try to mitigate the damage.
Which brings us to another Leftist figure, Chris “Fredo” Cuomo of CNN. Recently, transcripts came bout showing Fredo was working with his brother Andrew Cuomo behind the scenes during a time when the latter was being accused of sexual misconduct/assault. I’ve already talked about it at length on a previous blog post, but the Reader’s Digest condensed version is Leftists don’t consider what Chris did to be that bad. Now, keep that in mind while you consider how the Left created a cottage industry around President Donald Trump’s comments about grabbing cats. (Though I’m not sure why grabbing cats would be that big a deal, unless cats is a euphemism for a part of the…ohhhhhhhh!) The Left is willing to overlook another Leftist helping a Leftist try to beat back actual sexual assault allegations, but they’ve created a cottage industry out of accusing the former President of sexual assault based on a comment?
See where I’m going with this? The Left doesn’t want accountability for anyone else but the people who work against them. As long as you’re Blue until you’re blue in the face, you can skip out of being held accountable for just about anything. Granted, the Ghislaine Maxwell trial might render that null and void, but we’ll have to wait and see on that.
But I wouldn’t hold my breath waiting for Leftists to embrace actual accountability anytime soon. Their threshold of accountability ends when a Leftist says “I’m sorry.” Doesn’t matter if it’s running over a neighbor’s cat or making poor decisions that lead to the deaths of tens of thousands of elderly people. Good thing that latter one would never happen because you’d have to be a real moron to do that, right? The mere fact you regret your decisions is enough.
Except if you’re a Republican. Any mistake you make will haunt you as long as the Left has anything to say about it. I’ll bet there are parts of the Left who still distrust David Brock only because he used to be a Republican. His being an utter scumbag who lies as easily as he snorts coke, though? Not a problem!
Actually, big problem. When your standards are as fluid as the Left’s are, it may be hard to nail them down, but it’s frightfully easy to pick out when those standards are double. The fact they aren’t concerned about holding their own to a higher standard is the opening by which to weaken their arguments when they hold Republicans and conservatives to a higher standard. Having said that, we shouldn’t be willing to let conservatives and Republicans slide when they do stupid stuff because that would be playing the Left’s game. And let’s face it, they have decades of being disingenuous jaglegs, so they would beat us with experience.
Even if it hurts politically, we need to hold our own accountable. Scumbags are scumbags, regardless of whether they wear a red tie or a blue tie. Even if the Left won’t be accountable, we need to be if only to stand a little bit higher and add a bit more distance between the Left and the Right. After enough time, we’ll be far enough away that any slime trails don’t get on the carpet, and let me tell you baking soda and mineral water aren’t enough to get out those stains.
Not that I know about that, mind you.
Several Lies for Two Bothers
It’s no secret my opinion of the media is lower than the bottom of Mole Man’s socks, but it never fails to amaze me when they ask for more drilling equipment to go even lower. And when you’re talking about low, you can’t help but mention CNN, the third-rated cable news network today. Yep, the self-professed cable news leader is regularly getting beaten in the ratings by both news and non-news networks.
But that’s not the reason for this blog post. Instead, I’m going to focus on one of CNN’s puppets…I mean hosts, Chris Cuomo. As in the-brother-of-Anthony-Cuomo Chris Cuomo. As in the-the-former-Governor-of-New-York Andrew Cuomo. As in…just kidding.
Anyway, recent documents related to the “Luv Guv’s” sexual abuse allegations drew a pretty straight, solid, highlighted with every color of the neon rainbow line between the two brothers, with Chris giving Andrew advise and information about at least some of his accusers using some of his media connections. Although the media and Leftist politicians being in bed together isn’t anything new, the fact this was done so brazenly yet covertly has CNN looking for lighted mining helmets.
So far, the Left’s reaction has been a mixture of apathy, insinuations everyone would help a relative, and…attacking Fox News. But none of these address the central issue: a member of the news media used his connections and network’s reputation as straight news to help a politician who shares his ideological sympathies through a major personal and political scandal, all while doing it behind the scenes where the public wouldn’t know about it. It’s not illegal, but it is highly questionable ethically and professionally.
Which means CNN is in the clear since they have neither.
Seriously, though, the Cuomo Brothers, Fredo and…well, Other Fredo, aren’t helped by the fact they lied by omission and expected the “we’re family” excuse to work. Listen, I love my family as much as they do, but when they’re involved in criminal behavior, helping them hide it doesn’t make me a good family member; it makes me an accomplice. And if any family member would force or coerce me into a situation like that, well, let’s just say my Christmas card list just got shorter.
What the Left doesn’t want to acknowledge is how Chris’s actions compound an already crappy situation. Although the media (including Chris) did their best to sweep the fact Andrew’s leadership (or lack thereof) lead to the deaths of tens of thousands of elderly people under the biggest rug they could find, it’s a lot harder to treat multiple allegations of sexual misconduct in the same manner thanks in part to a little movement the media promoted called #MeToo. Granted, rich and powerful people getting away with crime is as common as Antifa protestors being unemployable by most of society, but #MeToo was supposed to put everyone on notice not to be a sexual predator. Many of the same people who are Fredo-shielding Chris have been railing against similar allegations levied against President Donald Trump and demanding he be held accountable, often with much less evidence than what Andrew is facing.
If that sounds like a whataboutism, it kinda is. It’s also factually accurate and speaks to the political matter at hand. No matter how much a Leftist politician sucks, the Left will protect him or her, but only as long as the politician a) continues to be an asset, b) takes actions they wish they could duplicate, and c) can be used to bludgeon conservatives or anyone else who thinks the politician’s actions are scummy as heck. With Andrew, you get the trifecta!
At least for now. The Law of Diminishing Returns is still in effect, even after criminal or civil law ceases to be. Andrew’s political career isn’t done yet, but the fat lady is warming up backstage as we speak. The same may be said about Chris’s media career. As of this writing, CNN has indefinitely suspended him “pending further investigation.” Meaning, until this all blows over. The fact CNN is doing this now as opposed to, oh, when his brother was in the news for sexual misconduct is like closing the barn door after the horses have gotten out, moved to a new ranch, and sent you their forwarding address. And it should not be lost on any of us that Chris isn’t fired. He’s merely sitting at home and most likely continuing to get paychecks for doing only slightly less than he does on air.
And if he comes down with the new COVID variant, guess who will get a shot back on CNN again.
That’s the part that irks me the most, but it’s not surprising given how lenient CNN was with Jeffrey “Don’t Ever Accept a Zoom Call From Me” Toobin. As bad as the allegations against Chris Cuomo are, CNN doesn’t seem to have a consistent standard when dealing with employees who cross lines as egregiously as he did. As others have so astutely pointed out, CNN fired three employees who refused to get a COVID shot, but keep Cuomo and Toobin on the payroll. But at least we know where the line is. You can slap the clown (and that isn’t a threat against Congresscritters) in front of coworkers or use your name and position to score details about sexual assault accusers, but being non-vaccinated is a bridge too far!
Granted, it’s CNN and they can do what they want regarding hiring and firing, but it would be nice to see them put more effort into trying to at least appear consistent with their discipline than they have been so far. Maybe CNN’s new owner, Nick Sandmann, can get them whipped into shape. Until then, we can either get mad that CNN can’t even hold its own people accountable consistently or we can do the one thing that CNN and its fanboys hate the most.
We can mock them.
And we will.
Leftist Lexicon Word of the Week
To put it mildly, this past week has been what the military would call a “target-rich environment” for somewhat humorous weirdos like me. On the Left, there has been a move to create four more Supreme Court seats and do away with the Electoral College. On the right, Project Veritas exposed CNN, which promptly got James O’Keefe kicked off Twitter.
Now, which would be more entertaining, a dry discussion about the Supreme Court or the Electoral College, or poking fun at a cable news network whose fortunes are as bright as a Socialist Socialite policy position?
Let’s just say I’m siding with schadenfreude.
CNN
What the Left thinks it means – a reputable news organization that occasionally ventures into “Fox News Lite” territory
What it really means – a news network who keeps finding a way to tarnish its reputation
Back in the day, CNN was the only name in cable news because, well, there weren’t any other real cable news networks out there. And it was unique in that it showed a global perspective on news, which was a big risk because of the way American media are set up to cover international events. Think coups and earthquakes, kids.
Where CNN really came into its own was during the first Gulf War. With reporters live on the scene giving regular updates and being one of the few (if not the only) television news crews there, CNN became a household name around the world. Once the Gulf War ended, CNN could have either rested on its laurels and coasted or continued to cover stories as balanced and as in-depth as possible.
Given the fact we’re in the process of mocking it, I’m guessing you can figure out what path CNN took.
What happened that caused CNN’s fall from grace (no relation to Nancy)? That’s hard to say because there have been a number of incidents in the 30 years since the first Gulf War that could have been the catalyst, but for me, it was the campaign and subsequent election of Bill Clinton. For better or most definitely worse, Clinton was our first “rock star” President, and CNN acted like a pack of teenage groupies hoping to catch his attention.
To me, the minute any news outlet picks a side in an ideological battle, it ceases to be an example of good journalism and becomes an example of good propaganda poorly masquerading as journalism. As other news networks popped up or became more prominent as they carried water for the Commander in Briefs, talent had viable options to exercise, and some of them did. As that happened, CNN picked up other talent, but the replacements didn’t fill the talent void. And in the case of Brian Stetler, became a talent void in and of himself. Pro Tip: if you have someone with as inconsistent a track record as Stelter, don’t let him host a show called “Reliable Sources.”
Aside from Stetler, CNN doesn’t have as much star power as it once did, and even less actual journalism is being done. Maybe it’s me, but when you call yourself a news network, it kinda implies you know what news is. Judging from the Project Veritas video, though, even the staff wouldn’t recognize news from a hole in the ground. And don’t get me started on whether they know their asses from the aforementioned hole.
Although the video didn’t expose anything new (assuming CNN swung Left was so obvious Stevie Wonder could see it), it does damage their brand at a time when they need to regain some of their viewership. Although the landscape is looking like the Hatfields and McCoys, but more cordial, there is room for a straight news organization that gives different perspectives.
Which the Left hates.
The Left relies on being able to control the narrative, so any time one of their usual outlets decides to…horror of horrors…show more than the Left’s version of events, the Left accuses that outlet of betraying them. Just look at how they go after Jake Tapper when he tries to reason with the Left. Granted, it’s getting more rare than how Dracula likes his hamburgers, but it happens.
Right now, CNN is finding itself the odd network out. On the right, there is Fox News, Newsmax, and OANN, and on the left, there is…pretty much everybody else. No matter how Left CNN leans, it will be outdone by someone else. To put it another way, CNN is now the New Coke of cable news: some love it, but most prefer the Coke that actually tastes like Coke. MSNBC will do what CNN does or used to do with a greater Leftist slant, so CNN becomes an afterthought. Personally, if it weren’t for the Left’s hatred of Project Veritas, I’m not sure Leftists would care how bad CNN looks right now.
Yet, I’m reminded of a saying: “Where there is chaos, there is opportunity.” If CNN wants to be relevant again, they need to resist the urge to become MSNBC without Rachel Maddow. They also need to resist the urge to swing to the right, especially considering the Right doesn’t trust CNN as far as Pee Wee Herman could throw Mount Everest. So, I see the best way to stand out and move forward is to look towards the past. Wipe the slate clean and go back to straight news, complete with an announcement of the change so people know what’s going on. Sure, it will piss off the Left, but the way I look at it, you’ll get more viewers than if you continue on your current path.
Of course, that will go over with Jeff Zucker like David Duke at a BLM rally, so it probably won’t be done anytime soon. Even so, what do you have to lose, Jeff? A bunch of whiny crybabies who think they respect science while simultaneously believing there are more than two genders? At some point, you have to cut your losses, buddy.
And when it comes to Leftists, you’re dealing with a lot of losers!