To put it mildly, it must really suck to be a Leftist these days. Sure, they have some bright spots like the Virginia fuck-up…I mean gerrymandering vote, pending the results of a legal challenge, but for every W it seems they have more Ls than Chicago’s public transit system. Prominent Leftist firebrands like Eric Swalwell and Jasmine Crockett are on their ways out of a job (at least in Congress). Supreme Court Justice Ketanji Brown Jackson is issuing rulings that even her fellow Leftists on the Supreme Court are disregarding as woefully unimpressive.
And now, one of the Left’s favorite organizations, the Southern Poverty Law Center, finds itself under FBI scrutiny and public ridicule for, and I wish I were making this up, alleged money laundering and paying off white supremacists to, well, be white supremacists. And all while raising funds to try to fight them.
Although there are some on the Right who come close, this is one of the dumbest fucking things the Left has done. Which, of course, means, I get to make fun of it in this week’s Lexicon!
Southern Poverty Law Center
What the Left thinks it means – a vital tool in the fight against white supremacy and race-based hatred
What it really means – an organization in search of a problem
The SPLC started in 1971 as an outgrowth of the civil rights movement of the 1960s. When not fighting for blacks to get equal footing in the world, they tracked white supremacist groups and helped raise awareness of their activities. Not a bad gig, really.
But somewhere along the way, the arguably noble origins of the SPLC gave way to Leftist hackery. Racial equality expanded to LGBTQIA+14X-25YX42 rights, migrant (i.e. illegal immigrant) rights, and propagan…I mean education. And with that expansion came the expansion of what constituted a hate group. And, surprise surprise, all of them seem to be right wing in nature!
Now, if you were a Leftist, you would say “that’s because the Right is so hateful.” And if you weren’t a fucking dumbass, you would dig a bit deeper to see just what constitutes a hate group to the SPLC.
And, contrary to popular belief, I am not a fucking dumbass.
After Moms for Liberty got added to the SPLC’s list of hate groups for being “anti-government,” I decided to look into it. Let’s just say you would have to suspend disbelief like the guy from the Crazy Glue commercials from the 1970s to believe the SPLC’s bullshit.
And I’ll be damned if the Left didn’t start looking for steel girders and a hard hat.
When you designate anything outside of your ideological bubble as hate, it’s a crap shoot. There will be some pretty hateful asshats out there, but they tend not to be the majority, just the loudest and most boorish. When I’ve had disagreements with Republicans, MAGA or otherwise, I’ve been treated with respect for the most part and we wind up having a decent conversation. Ditto with most conversations I’ve had with Democrats.
But the Far Left and the Far Right? If I can get past the foam that forms around the sides of their mouths and can foot the bill for the series of rabies shots afterwards, there’s a non-zero chance I can have a decent conversation. Pretty damn close to zero, but still non-zero.
This is the problem the SPLC faces right now. Well, that and the allegations of money laundering and payments made to the people they were allegedly trying to fight, I mean. But more to the point, they’ve let their ideological bent taint their perspective. Here’s a prime example: Turning Point USA is considered a hard right group connected to possible violence, but you know who isn’t?
Antifa.
You know, the ones who are okay with literal violence?
But I’m sure they’ll get right on it. I mean, it’s not like it took them until 2009 to label the Nation of Islam a hate group…oh, fuck, it did. And even then, the SPLC had to make sure they were connected to the “Far Right” because who knows what would happen if they actually did their job correctly, amirite?
By playing picky-choosy with what constitutes a hate group, the SPLC undermines its own credibility as a definitive and objective source. Not that it stops the Left from using their laughable reports as cudgels to “prove” hate is on the rise and only the SPLC can stop it.
Yeah, about that…
What the SPLC and the Left (but, I repeat myself) fail to understand is people do tend to get along pretty well without them. Yes, there are still hate groups out there targeting vulnerable individuals, but by and large we live in harmony. Maybe it’s the Gen Xer in me, but I don’t care what you identify as or what you look like or what you think. Just don’t be an asshole. Simple rule, and it’s kept me in good stead for decades.
But even that one simple rule is too hard for Leftists to follow, let alone comprehend. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again (mainly because I need to fill space): Leftists can never be happy. They’re always pissed off about something or depressed because they aren’t getting their way. I say this this is exactly how I was before I became a recovering Leftist.
This plays into the SPLC situation perfectly because at some point you will run out of things to get pissed off about, but instead of realizing being pissed off all the time isn’t a lucrative as you were lead to believe it was, they figured out a way to keep their doors open by quietly encouraging the activity they were publicly against. Hmmm…that reminds me of someone, an aspiring President who had a public opinion and a private opinion…I can’t put my finger on who that was, but I’m sure Bill Clinton did at one time.
Anyway, this starts a circuit. The group paid off people to “investigate” hate groups and report back. Then, the SPLC “exposes” the hate groups, thus keeping up appearances they’re still doing what they claim to be doing. This, in turn, makes gullible Leftists fork over donations to keep up the good work, which gets filtered back to the organization and used to pay off more people to “investigate” hate groups, and so on.
You know what stops that circuit? People getting along.
The thing about hate groups is they’re loud, but tiny compared to the rest of the population. There’s a reason the Westboro Baptist Church has fewer members than Lorena Bobbitt’s exes; it’s because nobody wants to associate with those assholes! That keeps them small, manageable, and easy to track. And the best part? You don’t have to steal donations to do it! Just let them play badass on their own property and crack ’em in the skulls if they get out of hand. Knowing a whole group of people is going to whup your ass if you decide to get froggy is a pretty good deterrent. At worst, you might have to spring for a few cases of beer afterwards, so it’s more cost-effective than the SPLC.
That’s not to say the SPLC is doomed. That’s for the courts to decide. But even some of the most vigorous and faithful servants have to be asking themselves “Are we the bad guys?” And the answer is yes, yes you are. Whatever good you’ve done in the past is going to be overshadowed by the bullshit you’ve perpetuated in the name of keeping the SPLC relevant and funded. Well, you might be neither after the legal process does its thing and exposes you as frauds.
But look on the bright side. You could be Eric Swalwell.
Author: Thomas
I'm a writer and a ranger and a young boy bearing arms. And two out of the three don't count.
Leftist Lexicon Word of the Week
If this past week had a theme song, it would be “Another One Bites the Dust” by Queen. Not only is it a damn awesome tune, but it applies so well to soon-to-be-former Representative Eric Fartsmell…I mean Swalwell. He went from being a front-runner for Governor of California to being the punchline to the biggest political joke since Anthony “Let Me Show You My” Weiner.
With Swalwell’s well-deserved exit from the gubernatorial race, new eyes are taking a second (and maybe even a first) look at who’s in the running. And it’s given me a reason to write about it this week!
California gubernatorial race
What the Left thinks it means – a competitive race for one of the biggest states in the country
What it really means – a freak show trying to be the political equivalent of valedictorian of summer school
As of March 26th, California had 61 certified gubernatorial candidates on the ballot pending the results of the June 2nd primary where the top 2 move on to the lightning round, also known as Election Day. And you thought eliminations on “Hell’s Kitchen” were brutal!
Due to the way California does its gubernatorial race, it’s always a shitstorm, especially if it rains in San Francisco. I have to admit there’s a simplicity to their process, but sixty-fucking-one candidates? It might be easier to count up the number of people not running for Governor.
Of the 61 contenders, 24 are Democrats, which is close to 40% of the field. Because if you like your shithole state, you can keep your shithole state by electing more of the idiots that made it that way.
Now, now, that’s a little harsh on my part, so I apologize. I’m sure there are some fine people with a different ideology than your humble blogger that want to make California as good as they can. Unfortunately, they’re going to be run out of the race by standard Leftist assholes like Katie Porter, Tom Steyer, and Xavier Becerra. And if Fartsmell…I mean Swalwell hadn’t dropped out, he would have been in the running still. Good fucking luck, kids.
On the Republican side, we have 12 candidates, but the only 2 who seem to have any momentum are Steve Hilton and Chad Bianco. The former was with Fox News for a time as well as a political advisor in England, and the latter is the sheriff of Riverside County. Both have expressed support for President Donald Trump, which makes them less popular in California than having a job.
That leaves 25 candidates including a Libertarian, a member of the Peace and Freedom Party, and the rest being from that new political party, No Party Preference. That’s 23 candidates, almost as many as the Democrats.
Okay, maybe it’s me, but when you have that many candidates not wanting to align themselves with a particular party, that’s a bad fucking sign. Granted, you can’t swing a dead cat and not hit a Democrat in California, but when there are enough people who say “I’d rather be unaffiliated than be a Democrat” that’s a sign your major party is fucking up!
And if that’s not bad enough for the Democrats, Leftists are worried that…a Republican might get a chance to be Governor! And with recent polling data, they have every right to be. At this rate, Democrats may be lucky to lose, but something tells me a Democrat will get one if not both of the spots, mainly because the voters believe any Democrat will do a better job at keeping California the fucked up anti-utopia it currently is than anyone else. And considering these are the same dumbfucks who elected Eric Fartsmell…Swalwell in the first place and would have voted for him again if his sexual scandals didn’t get exposed, there is a non-zero chance a Democrat will find a way to get to the finals.
I was thinking of doing a Extremist Makeover about the California gubernatorial race, but there’s a problem: there’s no fucking way I can fix it. The only thing I can say is I’m glad I’m not a registered voter out there. Not only would I have to find the least horrible candidate, but there’s a good chance I’d get taxed for it.
If you’re in California and you’re reading this, I’m sorry. Try to find a way out soon.
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Leftist Lexicon Word of the Week
Although it’s still a fairly recent series of events, we’ve already seen some weird shit surrounding the situation in Iran. After months of saying President Donald Trump wouldn’t do anything about Iran, Leftists woke up to find the President posting on Truth Social threatening to bomb Iran into the Stone Age, which would actually be an upgrade for them. This got their collectivist panties in a bunch and tried to say the President threatened genocide, which is a war crime.
So, saying you’re going to destroy a civilization that wants us dead without actually doing it is horrible?
Anyway, while the Left was trying to get another No Kings protest march organized, the US and Iran agreed to a two-week ceasefire. Of course, the Left was overjoyed because it allowed them to resurrect one of their favorite acronyms: TACO, which stands for Trump Always Chickens Out.
So, Trump was a war criminal for threatening to attack Iran, but not that he’s not, he’s a coward?
Folks, don’t try to figure out the Left’s logic here because there isn’t any. Instead, sit back and enjoy a deep dive into a shallow concept.
TACO
What the Left thinks it means – a way to mock the President for never following through on his grandiose threats
What it really means – a half-baked concept popular only within Leftist circles
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again because otherwise this is going to be a short Lexicon entry: Leftists are masters at using language to further their goals. It doesn’t hurt that they have the bulk of the media willing to do their bidding, mind you, but you get the idea.
The concept of TACO came into being in May 2025 when Leftists started mocking President Trump for his habit of making threats and then backing down. They went so far as to offer free tacos near Republican National Committee Headquarters. As you might expect, it went over as well as Bill Cosby Appreciation Night at a NOW conference.
Just a quick safety tip: stay away from the pudding.
With the predictability of a Hannah Gadsby comedy special being unfunny, the Left recycled this bad idea to criticize his words against Iran. But unlike last time, there’s been some pushback from Democrat politicians who took a more realistic, but still critical, approach. When you lose members of your own side…
Not that it’s going to stop the usual dumbasses from making political hay out of this turn of events, mind you. The Left thinks TACO has staying power, so they’ll keep using it whenever they think it will make Trump look indecisive and/or cowardly.
It’s at this point I feel obligated to step in and give some advice to our Leftist fiends…I mean friends. Quit while you’re still behind. This TACO shit isn’t working. Oh, sure, it’s good for a laugh with your hivemind mates, but it’s not resonating with anyone else.
Not to mention, it makes no sense given how you were telling everyone Trump was going to commit genocide. If you knew he was going to chicken out, why go to the trouble of pissing yourselves in terror?
Simple. They wanted to create a no-win situation for Trump.
In the Leftist hivemind, Trump couldn’t win. If he bombed Iran as he said, he would be guilty of war crimes (according to them) and be subject to expulsion via the 25th Amendment. If he didn’t, they could say he was too much of a coward to go through with it.
Then, Trump announced a temporary ceasefire. That kinda put a kink in the Left’s Kobayashi Maru and left them looking like Kobayashi Maroons in the process. Then again, this was utterly predictable from the people who cheered when President Barack Obama gave pallets of cash to Iran with the understanding they wouldn’t use it to develop nuclear weapons, but not doing jack shit to ensure they wouldn’t. In spite of their protestations to the contrary, Leftists are dumbasses when it comes to foreign policy. And domestic policy. And economic policy. And environmental policy.
Come to think of it, are Leftists good at anything other than being utterly wrong all the time?
As it turns out, they’re great at reanimating the corpse of ideas that didn’t work the first time around. At least they believe in recycling.
The problem is TACO isn’t worth reanimating. It’s possible to criticize the President’s Iran policy (which seems to be “blow up their shit and let God sort out the oil rights”) without a) using an acronym that doesn’t move the needle, b) being devoid of any legitimate criticism, and c) making yourselves look like assholes.
It should be self-evident, but since it’s Leftists we’re dealing with here, I have to spell it out for them. Being reflexively anti-Trump isn’t a policy, let alone a winning one. Whenever you define yourself by what your opponent is doing, you’re telling potential voters “we got nothing.” You actually have to stand for something other than not liking what the other guy/gal (still 2 genders, kids) wants to do.
Let me put it this way. A dude who had a stroke has become the sanest one in your party, and you want to get rid of him. How’d that work out for you in 2024?
Considering we don’t have President Queen Kamala the Appointed, that should give you the answer.
And TACO ain’t going to make the midterms turn out any better. Although traditionally the party out of Presidency picks up seats in midterm elections, it hasn’t always been a done deal. Only at times when voters feel the President has royally screwed the pooch does that happen and in recent years, it seems voters are okay enough with the way President Trump handles things to give Republicans another shot at Congressional leadership, even though it’s been as successful as a wet t-shirt contest in Amish country.
Maybe it’s time to let TACO go. You could always switch things up and try some other food. I know! Chinese food!
Oooh. Sorry, Representative Swalwell. Too soon?
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Extremist Makeover – No Kings Edition
In case you missed it (and if you’re like me, it’s because you had stuff to do), the latest round of No Kings protests happened recently, and in spite of the semi-impressive numbers (1 out of 50 Americans allegedly attended), it still hasn’t caught on with the general population.
That’s where I come in!
Since redressing grievances with the federal government is protected by the First Amendment and since this little writing gig of mine is dependent upon a healthy First Amendment, I have a soft spot for the No Kings protests. And, no, it’s not my head, so you can stop asking. As easy as it would be to sit back and mock them (not that I’m going to stop, mind you), I want to help make No Kings more viable.
The first thing that jumps out at me is the the messaging. You’re protesting people you think are acting like kings in a country that defied a king and has never had one since. And your allies across the pond in England? They actually have a king, so they had to switch the message to No Tyrants as to not offend the Royal Family. After all, they command the military. Not exactly a good outcome.
With this decided difference of message, it’s difficult to have one voice. Further complicating matters is the duplicity of the message itself. The same people coming out against the Trump Administration acting like a king or dictator are the ones who said “Rule me harder, Daddy” under the Biden Administration during COVID. So, you’re not really No Kings so much as No Kings We Don’t Agree With.
Yeah, so there’s a pretty big issue there, but one that isn’t impossible to resolve with a little creativity. No Kings We Don’t Agree With is a little wordy for a bumper sticker, so we need to come up with something shorter and catchier, something that gets the point across consistently. Something like…oh, I don’t know…the Anti National Tyranny Initiative, or ANTI. Just think of it! You can have ANTI t-shirts, ANTI bumper stickers, ANTI coffee mugs, ANTI water bottles, and so on! If you can think it, you can ANTI it!
In fact, you can lead a whole ANTI life if you put your minds to it! Be ANTI everything if you’d like! In fact, you could even have a spokesperson you could call Auntie ANTI! And when someone asks you what you believe in, you can just say “We’re ANTI.”
Just rolls off the tongue, doesn’t it?
We have the slogan and marketing point down, and even a lot of the messaging taken care of, so now we need to make it more popular. Visibility isn’t an issue because you have wall-to-wall media coverage (at least until Trump leaves office and a Democrat gets into power at some point). In order to attract more people, the most logical step is to stop being so exclusionary.
The Left has a litmus test problem, namely the fact they have a litmus test in the first place. Anyone who wants to play in their reindeer games has to go through a litany of loyalty tests before they’re officially considered one of the clan. Then, if they deviate even one micron from the hivemind, no matter how much sense it makes to do so, they get excommunicated and turned into a pariah.
And that’s how you guys got President Donald Trump. Twice.
There are plenty of people not exactly enamored with Trump or MAGA (including your humble correspondent), but the way you treat us doesn’t exactly make us want to join you. There’s an old saying, “You attract more flies with honey than with vinegar,” but you’re not even putting out the vinegar. Instead, you’ve gone right to the sulfuric acid and then wondering why no one’s enjoying what you have to offer. You have to temper the rhetoric so it becomes more universal in nature. Your movement won’t grow if you keep preaching to the same people over and over again. The echo is nice, but it’s prohibitive to growth.
“But we got 1 out of every 50 people!” you say. Yeah. That’s a whopping 2% of the population. By comparison, in the 2024 election, over 73% of the voting-age population actually voted. Although the popular vote was closer than 2%, I’m gonna go out on a limb and say the 2% you’re getting at your marches is already on your side, so it’s not going to swing that many elections.
You need new blood, not old people traveling from protest to protest on a bus.
Another issue you have is transparency. You’re already seen as more fake than Joe Biden’s hair, and your lack of honesty when it comes to your funding and organization isn’t helping. You have two options: own it, or divest yourselves of it. Since you’re not likely to do the latter, just come out and admit “Yeah, we’re as grassroots as Astroturf.” Then, list who is funding your protests and let the chips fall where they may. If you’re a puppet for our good friend Uncle George Soros, say it with your whole chest, and the same goes for any other Leftist organization who funnels money to these protests. It will cost you some potential members, but the honesty might gain you more respect than you have now.
And right now, No Kings is getting its butt kicked by used car salesmen in the popularity arena. On the plus side, you’re still leagues ahead of Congress.
Finally, you need to stop being so hypocritical when it comes to fighting the tyranny you see. Not only do you look foolish when you call one side tyrannical while staying silent when your side does the same stuff. If you really are against people acting like kings and tyrants, it has to be all or nothing. Start looking at the COVID restrictions under Biden and Democrat governors. If you don’t see tyranny, you shouldn’t be protesting because it’s clear you don’t know what it is. Once you have that down, call it all out, Democrat and Republican, liberal and conservative, The Captain and Tennille.
I do have a few other suggestions, but this should get you started. Good luck in turning the No Kings experiment into an ANTI experience!
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Leftist Lexicon Word of the Week
Say what you will about the man (and believe me I have), President Donald Trump has impacted the world on many levels, not the least of which being modern journalism. From the first utterance of “You’re fake news,” it was clear Trump was not going to be as cozy with the press as previous Presidents had been.
You know, when they weren’t calling Republicans Nazis, that is.
After the 2024 election, you could tell things were starting to shift. Almost a decade of parroting everything anti-Trump netted the media popularity and trust lower than that of used car salesmen. And to you used car salesmen reading this, I apologize to you for comparing you to the press.
Lately, this shift towards more balance reporting has the Leftists in the media (but, I repeat myself) fretting about “partisan hacks” taking over newsrooms, which means it gives me a chance to dive back into the muck that is modern news media. So, yay, I guess?
partisan hacks
What the Left thinks it means – conservatives skewing hard news reporting so they favor Trump and the GOP
What it really means – Leftist projection writ large
To say the media have a Leftist bias is like saying Hunter Biden kinda like drugs; accurate, but not nearly as thorough as it could be. Sure, they go out of their way to set up journalistic standards to let the world know they don’t root for one side or the other, but those standards are ignored more frequently than Hunter Biden ignores drug possession, gun, and tax laws.
Yes, I know I just used a Hunter Biden reference, but it bears repeating. Much like the fact the media lean more to the Left than a runner trying to make it back to first base to avoid a pick-off maneuver. Oh, and on a related note, the Chicago Cubs have not been mathematically eliminated from the post season as of this writing, but give it a week.
The Left’s control over the media lasted over a week and stretched into, oh, decades. You couldn’t swing a dead cat in media circles without hitting a Leftist, although I wouldn’t recommend it because it’s a dead fucking cat. Anyone to the right of Leon Trotsky was kept more in the closet than a gay agoraphobic hermit dodging an IRS audit. That meant only the Left’s position got promoted and anything outside of that was mocked as absurd because, to the ones in power, it was.
Even after conservative voices started being heard through talk radio, Fox News, and the Internet, the Left couldn’t give up the power it had amassed being the only voice in town. Soon, the powers that be decided to no longer hide the fact they were DNC stenographers with bylines, but openly embrace it. And if you thought reporting sucked before then, you were in for an unpleasant surprise, like having several root canals without anesthesia while Dylan Mulvaney recreates every episode of “Days of Girlhood” as it’s happening.
Oh, and your dentist? The Marquis de Sade.
With their grip on the narrative tighter than a little black dress made out of cling wrap, the Left made sure only their side got the prime gigs. And that, boys and girls, is how Taylor Lorenz still has a job in the media. This level of gatekeeping not only created a nearly impregnable echo chamber, but also an environment where they got to call the shots on what is considered “real journalism,” which was filtered down into journalism schools to create a never-ending pipeline of Leftist parrots wiling to squawk back the talking point of the day to fit in and maybe get invited to parties where other Leftists gathered to squawk back the talking point of the day.
It’s like Hell with a cash bar.
The problem with this, aside from having to hang out with Leftists for any length of time, is the gatekeepers strayed too far from what journalism actually is. During my lifetime on this planet, I saw the press go from the Fourth Estate questioning everything and tracking down the truth to being lapdogs for a President whose mental capacity was more diminished than Joe Biden’s. Which is really bad considering the President they were being lapdogs for was Joe Biden.
That’s why the media’s fear of “partisan hacks” taking over newsrooms and cable news outlets rings hollow to me. The partisan hacks were already there, and they lack even a scintilla of self awareness necessary to make the connection. Of course, they’ll come back and talk about journalistic integrity and standards they have to follow, but it’s all an act. If I had to choose between a room full of monkeys with typewriters and the entire MSNOW organization as to who could produce a straight news piece first, I’d go with the monkeys. Not only would they be more likely to accomplish the goal, but the room would be less covered in shit.
That’s not to say some news sources aren’t trying to right the journalistic ship. Prior to the 2024 election, the Los Angeles Times and the Washington Post both declined to endorse a Presidential candidate, which pissed off a lot of Leftists, partially because they felt the newspapers should have endorsed Queen Kamala the Appointed, and partially because they realized they were still paying for a subscription to the Los Angeles Times and the Washington Post. More recently, CBS hired Bari Weiss to oversee their news division, which pissed off Leftists even more. Even the Leftist-friendly CNN made editorial changes to try to be closer to the political center, which pissed off Leftists.
Hmmm…there seems to be a pattern forming. First, Leftists getting pissed, although to be fair that’s their natural state. More important is their reaction to even a slight move towards the center (i.e. where journalism should be). This goes back to how Leftists hate to lose control of the narrative. Once you attempt to get a neutral view, the Left loses the power to get you to think the way they do. Then, you might…dare I say it…make up your own mind once you find out how full of shit the Left is!
That’s why the Left is trying so hard to get people to believe any attempt to reestablish journalistic neutrality threatens the profession as a whole. And the best way to do that? Call anyone involved a partisan hack. Well, from where I sit (in my comfy recliner in the living room as it turns out), the real partisan hacks are the ones bitching about partisan hacks taking over newsrooms. To borrow a line from “Send In the Clowns” (as perfect a song as any given the subject matter), “Don’t bother. They’re here.”
Instead of being introspective and realizing the role they’ve had in fostering a healthy distrust of the media, Leftists prefer poisoning the well, posting public temper tantrums that make most toddlers look like Solomon, and cheering when things go south. But let me put a finer point on this. The Left want you to get only one side of any story, even if that side is more out of step with reality than Jasmine Crockett on an acid trip. And they will stop at nothing to prevent you from being fully informed. Instead of doubling, tripling, and quadrupling down on their positions, maybe they should look back at what happened with Nick Sandmann when the Left decided to spin a narrative.
And I’m sure he’ll get back to you once he’s done counting the money he got from you motherfuckers.
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Leftist Lexicon Word of the Week
Scandal and politics go hand in hand like Dylan Mulvaney and the world’s worst Audrey Hepburn from “Breakfast at Tiffany’s” impersonator. Some, like the Somali fraud in Minnesota, are pretty substantial. Others…well, let’s just say they’re fucking stupid and should be mocked.
This week, Secretary of War (because Secretary of Killing the Enemy and Breaking Their Shit was too long to put on a t-shirt) Pete Hegseth found himself at the center of a controversy over…and I wish I were making this up…surf and turf. Seems Pete’s been going on a spending spree to the tune of $93.4 billion, including $15.1 million on ribeyes, $2 million on Alaskan king crab, over $7.4 million a month on lobster tails, and other items ranging from Apple products to a piano.
Now, Leftists who normally wouldn’t give one-one-millionth of a shit about spending are up in arms about it! Of course, the usual suspects like Senator Adam “I’m the Love Child of a Human Woman and a Galapagos Tortoise” Schiff, Jasmine “Stacey Abrams 2.0” Crockett, and Adam “Temu Adam Schiff” Kinzinger rushed to social media to lambast the spending, calling it a waste of taxpayer funds from the Administration that gave us DOGE.
Guess which kind of scandal I’m putting Lobstergate in.
Lobstergate
What the Left thinks it means – a waste of money for extravagant luxury items
What it really means – an opportunity for the Left to take all the seats
When it comes to government spending, I’m very much like my idol and spirit animal Ron Swanson. Government is too damn big, so trimming the fat with a chainsaw seems like a good first step. Naturally, when I saw the price tag and what the money was being spent on, my first instinct was to complain. Then, my second instinct was to take a whiz because I had drunk a lot of adult beverages just an hour before.
Eventually, though, the rational side of my mind (or at least the side that can at least appear rational to the untrained eye) started looking into the specifics. I started with the steak because, well, steak. In September 2025, the Department of War spent $22 million on steak and lobster, which makes for one hell of a cookout.
Now, those who know a thing or two about financial matters might take note of the month where this money was spent. For those of you who don’t (or who are Leftists, which is pretty much the same thing), September marks the end of the fiscal year, which in government circles means spend as much as you can even if you’re not going to lose it if it isn’t spent. That adds some perspective to the Leftists’ bullshit.
And, as the MAGA Right will tell you, the steak and lobster didn’t go to Pistol-Packin’-Pete. It was given to…our military, as it has been done repeatedly in the past. Given the state of MREs (famously called Meals Refused by Ethiopians per the late great P. J. O’Rourke), I can excuse splurging on surf and turf because a famous man once said, “an army travels on its belly.”
And that man? You guessed it, Frank Stallone.
Aside from the steak and seafood, something else that caught my eye was the $98,329 grand piano. And that’s not all! Once you drill down to some of the more…bizarre expenditures, it gets harder and harder to justify.
Welcome to government accounting 101, where the budgets are made up and fiscal responsibility doesn’t matter.
And before you go off saying this reporting is from a Soros-funded think tank, I decided to take a closer look at the organization that reported on the extravagant spending under Hegseth’s watch, a little group the kids like to call Open the Books. To put it simply, they were DOGE before DOGE was a thing. Unless Uncle George has gone into funding fiscal conservative groups (which given what bullshit he’s thrown his money towards is highly unlikely), these are some of the “good guys.”
I’ve long been a proponent of reining in excessive and stupid spending, and Lobstergate has a mix of understandable yet excessive spending and drunken sailors on shore leave have more fiscal restraint spending. This is the nature of federal government for most of my life: spend now, figure it out later. Regardless of which major party holds the purse strings, we constantly find out about expensive toilet seats and promoting pineapple juice, but we never do anything about it as voters. Even when politicians tell us they want to cut spending, it never fucking happens.
A big part of this is the “spend it or lose it” mentality within the government. In order to justify spending more next year, bureaucrats and politicians find ways to spend money before the end of the fiscal year showing they really need all that extra money next year. After all, we can’t expect our fighting men and women to be at their best if we don’t spend billions of dollars on furniture, can we?
Actually, I’m pretty sure we can. Last time I checked, a credenza can’t shoot worth a shit. Maybe it’s because, well, it’s a piece of fucking furniture.
One of the things I will always go on record in criticizing with the Trump Administration is the number of unforced errors they make on the regular. This is one of them. And, yes, I know it’s business as usual in DC, but from the jump the current Trump Administration focused on cutting waste. Lobstergate doesn’t help that image and makes the President seem as two-faced as the Swamp creatures he ran against.
This almost gives the Left a W here. I say almost because they’re not much better at fiscal responsibility as Republicans have been in recent decades. In no way does it excuse the Right, but it puts their critiques into context. They’re just anti-Trump at this point, so even if he does something they approved in the past, it’s horrible.
Yeah, you’re not beating the charges of being flaming hypocrites anytime soon, kids.
And you should really take a seat. In fact, take all the seats. After the Obamacare debacle, you should never be considered credible by anyone with two working brain cells. I mean, you guys kept parroting Paul Krugman’s bullshit and he’s as reliable as Miss Cleo hooked up to a lie detector. You’re just not good at economics, and it shows.
Meanwhile, Lobstergate is more about government spending than it is about the Left/Right debate, mainly because both sides are horrible at staying within a budget, or passing one for that matter. The national debt is an ongoing concern, and reckless spending on last minute items isn’t the way to address it. Just ask anyone who racks up a huge credit card bill over the holidays.
Instead, let me propose an idea that’s worked everywhere it’s been tried: if you don’t need it, don’t spend money on it. Sure, you may lose money next fiscal year because you didn’t use up everything you received this year, but when the national debt is higher than Hunter Biden at Crack-A-Palooza, it’s more important to make the money stretch farther than to secure more money for grand pianos and Sesame Street in Iraq.
Trust the free market on this, kids. If there’s a need, it will be filled as soon as someone finds a way to make money off it. And I’m not talking Congresscritters here. If there is a demand for a good or service, government doesn’t have to step in and fill it; a smart businessperson will step up and do it. Then, he or she will have to pay taxes on that investment, so you’ll get your money, just not deposited directly into your pockets like you normally get it. Government intervention in creating demand never works out well in the end, especially when you consider most politicians and bureaucrats wouldn’t know a ROI from a DUI.
The difference? Government types get a lot more of the latter on our tax dollars than they do the former.
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Leftist Lexicon Word of the Week
In case you haven’t been listening to Leftists (and, to be honest, why would you), we are at war with Iran. An illegal, unconstitutional, and all around not good war that will result in a gazillion deaths of American troops, all because President Donald Trump wanted to start a war to distract from the Epstein Files, which totally prove he’s a pedophile and Trump redacted all of the references to his pedophile activities!
That and $5 can get you a cup of steamed milk with a shot of coffee at Starbucks.
I’m referring to Operation Epic Fury, because apparently Operation Kick Iranian Ass and Break Their Shit didn’t test well in focus groups. As you might expect, opinions on the matter range from pro-military jingoism to anti-military jingoism. You might say it was Jingoism Unchained.
I’ll see myself out…
Actually, I can’t because I have a Lexicon entry to finish!
Operation Epic Fury
What the Left thinks it means – a lot of saber-rattling from a weak President designed to take people’s attentions away from his shortcomings
What it really means – a long-overdue military strike with the possibility of the shit hitting the fan
War in the Middle East is as constant as Leftists being shrill and annoying. Unlike the latter, however, the Middle East isn’t going to ask to speak to our manager. Instead, they’re going to fight the Great Satan,
And given how the US military is an NRA wet dream, it’s not going to be a long fight.
At least, I hope it’s not going to be a long fight. The last time we got involved in that neck of the world, we were there for a while and it ended badly.
While the warhawks, the chickenhawks, and the jive turkeys battle it out in the Thunderdome of ideas, there are a couple of things I need to point out, both of which are directly related to the Left’s bitching over the war.
First, what Trump did isn’t illegal. There’s a little thing called the War Powers Resolution of 1973 that gives the President a far wider berth to initiate military action prior to a formal declaration of war. As long as the President lets Congress know within 48 hours, he/she (still 2 genders, kids) has a total of 90 days before a formal war declaration has to be made.
And, guess what? He did.
I know Leftists work within a different frame of reality than the rest of us, but you’re gonna have a hard time convincing me following the letter and the spirit of the law is illegal.
Now, for the Constitutional part of the lesson. As yet, there hasn’t been a challenge to the War Powers Resolution’s constitutionality by either major party, and I get why: both sides want to be able to wage war without having to go through the actual process of declaring it. Because of this, the War Powers Resolution has been invoked 130 times between 1973 and 2011. Oddly enough, 130 is also the average age of Congresscritters, but I digress.
The point is until the War Powers Resolution is struck down by the US Supreme Court, it’s as constitutional as, well, the Constitution. Just because Congressional Leftists got assmad they weren’t allowed to blab about it ahead of the attack doesn’t mean the Constitution was circumvented. Given how our Leftist pals have a tendency to leak information to foreign powers (I’m looking at you Eric “Fang Fang’s Bitch” Swalwell), I can understand why the Trump Administration didn’t let Congress know too far in advance.
On a side note, I didn’t have “Leftists cheering for people who literally do what they say Christian Nationalists want to do” on my 2026 Bingo card, but here we are.
As much fun as it is to point and laugh at the Left being caught up on the 20 side of an 80-20 issue, we have to maintain some perspective. War isn’t an IRL Call of Duty game. Shit gets real really fast. And despite the calls of the neocons, the warhawks, and more than a few military hardware suppliers, war shouldn’t be the default position. It should be a last step, period.
This is where things get a little dicey for me. On the one hand, Iran has wanted us dead for almost have a century and wasn’t shy about letting us know. On the other, any American intervention in the Middle East has the potential to be a beachfront quagmire of a clusterfuck. If we want to make progress there, we can’t half-ass it. We have to go in with our full ass and get shit done.
That’s where we’ve dropped the ball in the past. Although the Left accuses the Trump Administration of trying to conduct nation-building in Iran and elsewhere, the fact is we’re more nation-subcontractors. We’ll go in and wreck shit, but once the destruction is done, a lot of times we bail out before the country we’ve turned into rubble and shell casings can ask “So, now what?”
And given the fact we got Iran into this mess in the first place back in 1979, we kinda owe it to Iran to fix this situation.
That’s why we have to be verrrrrrry careful how we proceed with Operation Epic Fury. Especially with the spelling. I’ve already seen the Interwebs calling it Operation Epic Furry, and when you go furry, there’s no going back.
Don’t ask me how I know.
The point is we broke Iran, and now we have to fix it and do it better than we’ve done, well, since 1979. We have a bad track record when it comes to the “so now what” phase of the military action, and that has to stop. In the aftermath of war, there’s a lot of rebuilding to be done, especially when it comes to infrastructure. When we go into a country and break their shit, we look pretty shitty when we disappear like Claude Rains cosplaying as Harvey the Rabbit leaving the people we were helping to pick up after us. Dick move, bro!
Now, we need to approach Iran with the same attitude we had after World War II. Not only did we blow shit up, but we helped rebuild the countries we blew up. That helped build our reputation around the world as one of the good guys, and we need that kind of positive PR these days after decades of being hands-on when it came to blowing shit up, but hands-off when it came time to build shit back up.
And if Trump can do that, he will go a long way towards solidifying his place in history, but grease the skids for the GOP going into midterms and the 2028 Presidential election. Granted, the Left are too busy being tone deaf assholes to field an even marginally passable candidate or come up with a platform that will appeal to people who have normal hair colors, but let’s not count our chickens before they hatch here.
Regardless of how you feel about Operation Epic Fury, it’s a little late to try to pull back the reins to get our war machine to slow down, let alone stop. We’re involved, so we have to be willing to do all of the hard work now and later. If we don’t, we’re looking at having Iran hate us even more than they already did under the religious leadership there before we gave them backstage access to the hereafter.
And the 72 virgins? All dead ringers for Yasser Arafat. Or is that Ringo Starr?
Leftist Lexicon Word of the Week
As we get closer to March (check local listings for the month in your area), our thoughts turn to an event that brings smiles to the faces of millions. I’m talking about, of course, March Madness.
But since we’re not there yet as of the date of this writing, we have to focus on something a lot less fun, that being the State of the Union Address which is a whole different kind of madness altogether. This annual speech gives the President a chance to talk about how great and strong America is, maybe hit on one or two red meat issues, and bloviate far too long. And since it’s Donald Trump giving the speech, you know the Left has to try to counter it.
That brings us to this week’s Lexicon entry. During the actual State of the Union Address, some Leftists decided to hold the People’s State of the Union Address. And, yes, it was just as lame as it sounds. But it made Leftists feel better about sucking more ass than a man addicted to donkey smoothies, so yay, I guess?
the People’s State of the Union
What the Left thinks it means – a rally to tell the truth about what’s going on in America right now under President Trump
What it really means – a symbolic gesture without much symbolism
Now, what the Left did in response to the State of the Union Address isn’t new. We have to go waaaaaaaaaay back to…2018, when Leftists held a People’s State of the Union Address to offer an alternative to President Trump’s State of the Union Address. This was a breathtaking affair, complete with celebrities like Mark Ruffalo and Rosie Perez in the house.
Because nothing says “we know what’s going on in the real world” like people who play pretend for a living.
As you might expect, it was as impactful as a Nerf avalanche (Nerf triage kit sold separately), in spite of the press giving it a predictable spit shine. There were other protests, but they were just as inane as this one. This year, they brought the idea out of mothballs and did it again.
Hmmm…I don’t remember these folks having a People’s State of the Union Address during President Brick Tamland’s term. Wonder why that is…
Anyway, the People’s State of the Union Address was a dud, and predictably so. Yes, we get it. You hate Trump, and you tell us every day you hate Trump. Do you need to hold a rally to reinforce you hate Trump? Not really. It’s like the No Kings protests last year: getting Leftists together to show how much they hate Trump, but never really doing anything but speaking truth to the powerless. If impotent rage had a human face, it would be the No Kings protests.
And the People’s State of the Union.
And pretty much anything else the Left has come up with since Trump was reelected.
You know how I know the People’s State of the Union was a dud? The Left resorted to an appeal to popularity to make it sound like it was successful. Leftists crowed about getting 2 million live viewers for their Suck-A-Palooza rally, but the actual State of the Union Address got…an estimated 32.6 million live viewers. For those of you bad at math or Leftist (which aren’t mutually exclusive, I grant you), that means it would take over 16 People’s State of the Unions to equal 1 Trump State of the Union.
Next stop: Getting Your Ass Stomped Ville. Population: the People’s State of the Union audience.
This speaks to one of the fundamental flaws of the Left: they grossly overestimate how popular their positions are. Of course, it doesn’t help that the only people they listen to are other Leftists, so it creates one big echo chamber that would rival the Grand Canyon in size, which is second only to “The View” in terms of a being great big void in America.
As funny as it is to mock the Left for exhibiting cult-like behavior, there’s another layer to this shit, one that I’ve seen as a recovering Leftist. By surrounding yourself only with people who repeat what you believe, you start to create your own reality, which often bears little to no resemblance to actual reality.
In other words, it’s basically Dylan Mulvaney.
While it may be fun and welcoming in your corner of Delululand (not to be confused with Deluluworld on the West Coast), it makes it hard to connect to people outside of it. After all, they might…dare I even fathom it…deny your reality! Then, all Hell breaks loose! After all, if you could be wrong that dressing up like a fairy princess when you’re built like the defensive line of the Seattle Seahawks isn’t realistic, it might make you question what else you believe.
In this scenario, there are two options, three if you count fleeing in terror. You can either accept the new information and integrate it into your life, or you can deny it.
And guess which one Leftists invariably choose.
This leads to a lot of mocking from outside the Leftist hivemind, but it’s becoming a serious problem from a governmental perspective. In order to pass, enforce, and rule on legislation, there has to be a common point of reference. The further we get away from that, the harder it becomes to run the government.
Wait…did I just make an argument in favor of letting that shit go?
Never mind.
The point is when nothing can be nailed down, everything is in a state of flux. A bedrock principle one day becomes vapor the next if enough people believe it and vice versa. But reality isn’t about what you believe; it’s about what is. A dog is a dog is a dog because it just is. Believing a dog is a 2 story Victorian home in Vermont doesn’t make it so. For one, you don’t have to pick up Victorian home shit when you walk it.
I bring all of this up to give you a fuller picture of what the People’s State of the Union actually was: a poorly planned political stunt that will fire up the base, but do precious little to get others to join in their reindeer games. Not even if you get Ben Affleck.
If I may offer a piece of advice to the Left (and, I may because it’s my fucking blog entry), it’s to start thinking about a policy that doesn’t involve a daily reminder you hate Trump. That shit’s played out since his first term in office, and I don’t think there are enough fans to warrant a sequel. With midterms right around the corner, you have to get your shit together and come up with a strategy.
Like maybe not being obnoxious assholes.
But given how Congressional Democrats acted during the State of the Union Address, that’s going to be a big ask.
Leftist Lexicon Word of the Week
With the possibility of the SAVE Act becoming law (click here for our outstanding, witty, and pretty spiffy coverage of it), the Left has gone to a tried-and-not-at-all-true method to try to get public opinion on their side: calling it Jim Crow 2.0, just like they’ve done when previous voter ID bills have been introduced in recent years. Since we’ve already talked about voter ID bills previously, I figured I’d focus on the Jim Crow 2.0 part since it’s like a boomerang or a Taco Bell meal: it keeps coming back.
Jim Crow 2.0
What the Left thinks it means – Republican efforts to stop blacks from voting
What it really means – an overreaction to voter ID laws
To fully understand the implications of Jim Crow 2.0, we have to take a look at Jim Crow 1.0. (We’re avoiding Jim Crow 1.5 because it’s a vastly inferior version. Oh, and it doesn’t exist.) Jim Crow laws were a series of laws passed in the South after the Civil War designed to segregate whites and blacks in everything from transportation to education to voting. Let’s just say the South took the loss worse than John McEnroe on PCP, so this wasn’t exactly the best look for the Land of the Free and the Home of the Bottomless Cup of Coffee.
By the time the 1950s and 1960s rolled around, such laws started looking more and more racist because, well, they were. The civil rights movement helped make Jim Crow laws a thing of the past, ensuring blacks and whites could coexist on a level playing field.
Yeah, and if you believe that, I have a Jasmine Crockett victory party ticket to sell you.
Jim Crow laws were a black eye (or an African-American eye if you prefer) on our history and society, so introducing the idea into any conversation has to be done carefully so it’s not taken out of context. Or, if you’re a Leftist, you bring it up when you want to imply something is racist. While the original Jim Crow laws imposed literacy tests and poll taxes among other means to suppress the black vote, the same can’t be said of current voter ID laws, including the SAVE Act.
Well, it can, as the Left has proven, but it’s bullshit.
There is a league of difference between a poll tax and having to pay for a birth certificate to establish your citizenship so you can vote. Take getting a copy of your birth certificate, for example. The cost of getting a replacement copy ranges from $10 to $34. Inconvenient? Maybe. Prohibitive? Also, maybe. But if you are really passionate about voting, you will make it happen.
On a related note, you know what states have some of the lowest costs to get a birth certificate? The evil, backwards, racist South. And what states have some of the highest? The good, smart, progressive blue states.
Isn’t it ironic, doncha think?
The thing about the Jim Crow 2.0 talk is it’s not designed to make you think, but rather to feel. The Left wants whites in particular to feel collective shame over our past, even though most of us (and most of them, for that matter) weren’t alive when those laws were in place. No matter how many strides we make towards racial unity, they will always view whites as fatally flawed and undeserving of forgiveness.
That sentiment isn’t just one way, though. The Left also sees blacks as inferior and without agency. They see other potentially oppressed groups the same way, but for the purpose of this sketch we’re going to limit the focus to blacks given the subject matter. White Leftists in particular feel they have to speak up for the black community because they have both a superiority complex and a savior complex.
One tiny problem, kids. This attitude makes you racist.
Blacks are perfectly capable of speaking for themselves, thank you very much. In fact, there are some I wish would shut the fuck up, but that’s not the point. Blacks don’t need white Leftists to stand up for them. They are motivated, capable, and smart enough to figure shit out for themselves. And since you can’t figure out what a woman is, maybe you should sit this one out.
You know, until 2138.
In the meantime, I have a request for the black community. Call out the Left’s bullshit with the Jim Crow 2.0 talk. It demeans your history and your present, and the more you entertain it, the more you give white Leftists the power to speak for you. Instead, I urge you to take the advise of the great philosopher James Brown, “Say it loud! I’m black and I’m proud!”
Well, either that or, “I feel good!” You know, whichever.
The funny thing about the Left’s resistance to voter ID laws is it flies in the face of what they say they want. They always say America needs to be more like Europe in governance, regulations, and the like. But guess who has voter ID laws.
Europe.
Oops. Better get on board there, Leftists! Unless of course you want to call Europeans racist…
On second thought, you’ll probably do that anyway, so scratch that.
Comparing any voter ID laws to Jim Crow laws is a non-starter for me, not just because I happen to agree with the concept of voter ID, but because the two concepts go together like oil and Joseph Hazelwood. Leftists are going to try to shame you into rejecting a good idea because they don’t have a logical basis for their arguments. Then again, these are Leftists we’re talking about there, and they have a protective order against logic.
Instead of feeling guilty about shit you didn’t even do, push back and ask them why they require photo ID for their events, but not for a democratic vote. Or better yet, ask them for their alternative. And don’t be surprised if they don’t have ready answers because, let’s face it, they haven’t thought beyond the “Jim Crow 2.0” stage.
On the plus side, it will give you an opportunity to point and laugh!
Extremist Makeover – Presidents’ Day Edition
Depending on when you read this, America is either celebrating or just celebrated Presidents’ Day, a federal holiday that is the equivalent of a participation trophy for people we’ve smartly or foolishly allowed access to the nuclear codes. And to be fair I can go either way on that one.
While most Americans outside of furniture stores and car lots don’t celebrate Presidents’ Day with the same zeal as, say, Arbor Day, I think this is a situation where a little makeover might change the perception, if not the one-day-only sale prices at the aforementioned vendors. All it takes is some outside-the-box thinking, and I’m as far outside the box as you can get without being declared legally insane.
And to be fair, I can go either way on that, too.
Let’s deal with the elephant and the donkey in the room. Not all Presidents are created equal. While we celebrate the courage and accomplishments of George Washington, Abraham Lincoln, and Ronald Reagan, Presidents’ Day includes a lot of also-rans who are only remembered by history buffs and kids trying to pass an 8th grade history class. People like Millard Filmore, Iowa’s own Calvin Coolidge, and William Howard Taft. Although I hear that cat Taft is a bad mutha…
The concept of Presidents’ Day is too broad…sorry, too woman, so although all the Presidents have a day, not all of them get the same amount of attention. Some are barely worth a mention at one of their family gatherings, let alone a day where they can be forgotten just like they are the other 364 days a year.
Let’s put a pin on that idea for now. It will play into one of my suggestions later.
Then, we have a political divide wider than the seams in Rosie O’Donnell’s stretch pants to contend with. There are Presidents one side or the other absolutely hate. I’m sure there are people on the Left who would rather we not talk about Donald Trump, Richard Nixon, or Ronald Reagan, and likewise there are people on the Right would gag if they had to mention Bill Clinton, Barack Obama, or Joe Biden in any positive way. That makes the concept of a day to celebrate those who we vehemently disagree with as popular as Nick Fuentes Appreciation Night at the Apollo.
Aside from federal employees, I don’t see a lot of people clamoring for Presidents’ Day to be a thing anymore. Then again, federal employees would lobby for a Kyle the Intern Sneezed Day if it meant they got a day off. Now, the easiest way to make it more popular would be to let everyone have the day off, but even then it would be a crap shoot if people would appreciate the reason why. Americans get Memorial Day and Veterans Day mixed up all the time, so I’m guessing they’re not ready to delve into Presidents’ Day just yet.
That’s where I come in.
The first thing I would address would be the fundamental unfairness of Presidents’ Day for forgotten and/or inconsequential Presidents. They deserve a day where their Presidencies are given the respect they deserve, after all. So, instead of having one day a year where we acknowledge Presidents, let’s have two. And by year, I’m including Leap Year. And more specifically Leap Year Day.
That’s right! Every 4 years, we will have a day set aside just for the forgotten Commanders In Chief like John Tyler, Chester A. Arthur, and Gerald Ford, and it just so happens it coincides with the one day a year that’s shoehorned in there so the Gregorian calendar isn’t thrown off.
Next, we need a new way to evaluate Presidents. Right now, that falls on the shoulders of academics and historians who may be fine intelligent people, but aren’t that much fun at parties. Today’s America demands more voices in the intellectual arena with new perspectives and match-ups.
Yep. I’m talking about social media.
I belong to a couple of Facebook groups that set up imaginary fights between fictional characters, mostly comic book and/or pop culture-based. The discussions can get pretty deep (you know, in between the numerous playground taunts about how dumb a poster is), and the possibilities are endless! Who would win in an arm wrestling tournament, Teddy Roosevelt or Dwight D. Eisenhower? Which father-son duo would win a potato sack race, John and John Quincy Adams, or George H.W. and George W. Bush? Which President would be the best wingman for a night on the town? (Answer: JFK.)
It may seem silly, but that’s what America is these days. This sort of fictional fighting would appeal to the general public. Not to mention, there are betting websites that would love to host something like this, and it might help get more people’s skin in the game. After all, America’s new favorite pastime is online gambling, so lean into that and turn Presidents’ Day into a payday!
I do have one more suggestion, but it’s really radical. I mean, it would take an act of God, a massive societal shift, and some zoning permits to make happen, but if we’re willing, it’s worth a shot.
Elect better Presidents.