With all of the chaos of world events and the holiday season, it’s easy to miss pretty important things, especially if the federal government gets involved. And especially if Puddin’ Head Joe is involved.
After not wanting to take on rising drug prices because we had other things to spend money on, like a war an ocean away where we don’t have a direct interest in either side winning (but only a complete moron would do tha…nevermind), Puddin’ Head Joe is finally addressing it. By trying to exert federal power to address it. More specifically, Puddin’ Head Joe’s clown car…I mean Administration has put together a plan to use something called “march-in rights.”
Well, that doesn’t sound ominous!
Needless to say, I have questions. And statements. Oh, and jokes!
march-in rights
What the Left thinks it means – a measure that will allow the government to control drug prices if federal funds were used to develop the drugs
What it really means – a way for the Left to screw up worse than they already do
The origin of march-in rights was the Bayh-Dole Act of 1980. The TL:DR version: this law set up conditions where some entities outside of the public sector could develop inventions they could patent and monetize while receiving federal funds. But there’s a catch, one Leftists have been pushing to use. Under certain circumstances, the government can “march in” and take over, making changes the outside entities may or may not agree with, but have to abide by because…they took federal funding.
Yep. Completely innocuous. Nothing unsavory could happen.
Hell, even someone from Harvard Medical School says there’s nothing to worry about because it’s just the federal government exercising its rights in an agreement. And since it came from Harvard, we know it’s…probably bullshit.
For those of a small government mindset like your humble correspondent, this is the ultimate nose in the tent situation. If you take federal funds to develop a product, that shouldn’t automatically give the government the authority to come in after the fact and screw shit up on a whim. Or as the Puddin’ Head Joe Administration puts it, “extreme, unjustified, and exploitative of a health or safety need.”
Once a government official who may be confused about the number of genders (spoiler alert: still 2) determines this threshold is met, the federal government can swoop in and allow third parties to make the products, in this case drugs, cheaper. On the surface, this doesn’t sound like a bad idea. We all like to save money, especially if we have multiple high-cost prescriptions. So, why do I get the feeling this isn’t going to wind up being as much of a benefit as we’re being told?
Let’s see…Obamacare, the PATRIOT Act, the EPA, the FDA, the USPS, Amtrak, student loans…
For the Leftists out there, these are all things the government has told us would help us, but wind up being really fucking expensive without much actual benefit. But as long as we print the money to keep them rolling, the Left don’t care!
To the Left, money means power, and the most powerful currency in the country is government money. It’s the carrot, the stick, and the whip. It can entice people to act a certain way, as well as to punish wrongthink. And once you take the federal government’s money, you are its bitch until you can find a way out from under its thumb. And, trust me, they won’t make it easy.
Even if the Puddin’ Head Joe Administration figured out how to get its head out of its ass and make march-in rights work with drug costs, there’s going to be a major shift in contract law, especially with federal contracts. If the government decides what you’ve worked on for years runs afoul of what it thinks the fruits of your labor are worth, march-in rights give them the authority to alter whatever agreement you had. And with the criteria as presented being so vague, it could be for any reason it wants, as long as the government can justify it. I don’t know about you, but that’s fucking scary to me.
And it gets worse! Since the government can print money, it doesn’t have to play by the same laws of economics the rest of us do. Government isn’t in the money-making business. If they experience a loss because one of their ideas go tits up, they’ll print more money to cover the loss. And since they’re the only game in town for a lot of things they do, they don’t have an incentive to keep costs low to attract customers. We need what they provide, so they set the prices and the service level and if you don’t like it, fuck you!
There is another aspect to march-in rights that concerns me greatly. If Puddin’ Head Joe is successful here and the courts don’t uphold any challenges to the application, this opens the door for other government-funded projects to be subject to the whims of bureaucrats. You know, like…oh, let me just pull something out of my ass quick…the Internet? A pretty good case could be made that the Internet as we know it came from the Department of Defense, thus it was funded by the government and anyone else who distributes it can expect a knocking at their chamber doors and told what to do going forward or else.
The Corleone family would have killed for this kind of power. Oh, wait…
The point is we can’t let the possibility of lower drug costs blind us to the reality. If you give the government an inch, they’ll take a few thousand miles and then tax you up the ass for it. March-in rights are the governmental equivalent of a Faustian deal: you’ll almost get what you want but not ever get it completely, and you will pay dearly for it.
Like eating Chipotle, only without botulism.
Author: Thomas
I'm a writer and a ranger and a young boy bearing arms. And two out of the three don't count.
Extremist Makeover: George Santos Edition
In case you haven’t heard, the House career of New York Representative George Santos came to an end recently. Yes, a man who dressed in drag, claimed to be Jewish and tried to explain it away by saying he was Jew-ish, and being a Leftist target for lying to voters (which would be a boon for Leftist politicians) was expelled by the House for…ethics violations.
Yeah. I laughed a lot when I heard that, too.
Anyway, Santos is out of a job and will need to rehabilitate his image. And me, being the equal opportunity helper that I am, I think I have just the thing to do just that.
Let’s start with the basics. George Santos is damaged goods. He’s been caught in a number of questionable situations with varying legal implications. He’s done some sketchy things with finances and broken the law doing it. In short, he’s more radioactive than Chernobyl.
So, what makes me think I can fix his image? Because I’m just stupid enough to try, dammit! And because there’s an obvious solution that will clear everything up and make Santos untouchable in Leftist circles.
All George Santos needs to do is say he self-identifies as Hunter Biden.
Think about it! The First Crackhead has all the sympathy from the Left, and they will circle the wagons at the first sign of criticism. After all, he’s a private citizen…who just happened to use his dad’s name and connections to get jobs an untrained chimp would be more qualified for than he was. You know, just like you and me!
Well, George Santos is in the same boat. He’s a complete scumbag (without ever trying to buy a dime bag) who is utterly irredeemable. No one would trust him to run the fryer at the local McDonalds, let alone anything above that pay grade. But qualifications don’t mean a damn thing if you’re connected to the Bidens! I mean, look at the patriarch!
Plus, there’s the added bonus of holding the Left to their bizarre mindset regarding personal identities. I mean, if a 6’6″ former linebacker wants to be called Loretta, the Left says we have to accept it. So, if George Santos says he identifies as Hunter Biden, the Left won’t have a leg to stand on (not that they usually do, mind you, but work with me here).
And the best part about it? Santos will get all the Leftists defending him without him having to commit the crimes Hunter has! He may still have to atone for the crimes he committed, but he can apply Leftist logic (a contradiction in terms) to the situation and the Left will have to defend him or be exposed as hypocritical idiots.
I’m pretty sure the Left will choose the latter option, but I can dream, right?
Leftist Lexicon Word of the Week
Another week, another bunch of economic bullshit coming from the Puddin’ Head Joe Administration, and from the man himself. Seems Bidenomics isn’t working out the way Leftists thought, so they decided to take decisive action and…gaslight the fuck out of us!
Adding insult to injury came a tweet from Puddin’ Head Joe’s account suggesting any company not lowering prices to match lower inflation rates was guilty of price gouging. Although this squawking point hasn’t gotten spread around yet (with help from social media influencers who know less about economics than Puddin’ Head Joe), I figure I’d try to cut it off at the pass so you know just how full of shit these folks are.
price gouging
What the Left thinks it means – when greedy corporations charge more for goods and services than the market allows
What it really means – when Leftists don’t like you making more money than they think you deserve
Before we delve into the unintelligent muck of Leftist thinking on price gouging, let’s set a baseline. There are a lot of definitions and examples, but this one from EconomicsHelp.org makes the most sense to me:
Price gouging is a situation where business take advantage of an external crisis to charge excessive prices for basic necessities – selling the goods significantly above their usual price.
Granted, there are a lot of subjective terms at work here, but you get the idea. It’s not a controversial position to say price gouging is bad, mkay?, but the way the term gets applied is getting more ridiculous than the social media posts of those trying to tell us Bidenomics is working. But at the very least, Puddin’ Head Joe admitted Bidenomics is a crisis, albeit unwittingly…which is pretty much how he does anything these days.
One of the Left’s favorite targets for accusations of price gouging is Big Oil. During the height of lockdowns, Leftists said oil companies making record profits was proof of price gouging. Of course, there’s a tiny problem with this: namely, the lack of any fucking proof in their statements of proof. A much larger problem, though, is the lack of any knowledge of how economics works.
There’s this little thing the kids like to call supply and demand which is constantly in play regardless of circumstances. In times of scarcity of either side of this equation, prices are going to go up, which means the more people buy, the more money companies make. So, even though the aforementioned oil companies made record profits, it’s more due to the law of supply and demand than it is breaking price gouging laws. Then again, if Leftists knew one-tenth of a fuck about economics, they wouldn’t be Leftists. Or they’d be really rich Leftists.
Unfortunately, most people know less about economics than Leftists do, so they buy into the “Big Corporations Bad!” mindset more easily than getting a crackhead to accept free crack. (By the way, how ya doin’, Hunter?) The Left may not know much about how to make an economy work, but they know how to play on the emotions of the public to get them to grab the torches and pitchforks whenever the Left says gas prices are too high. Of course, if state and federal governments would drop the gas tax, prices would be more affordable, but we can’t have nice things.
Put another way, Puddin’ Head Joe is counting on the public to be dumber than he is and blame high prices on the faceless corporate overlords. And there’s a good chance he’ll be right.
Or will he? Public opinion of Bidenomics sank faster than my interest in listening to “Last Christmas” by Wham this year. Or any year, for that matter. Voters have soured on how Puddin’ Head Joe has handled the economy, which is already getting Leftists scared at the possibility of President Trump 2.0 and offering up conflicting advice from continuing to run on Bidenomics to trying to rebrand it to make people aware of what it’s actually done. And a part of that strategy seems to be to blame others for the shit they caused.
Now, in the interest of fairness, the government can’t control inflation, which is the real bugaboo right now with the economy. However, it can affect it through various means, such as legislation, regulations, and, of course, fucking things up and blaming others for it. Of course, the smart thing for the government to do at a time of inflation is, well, not to do the shit that’s causing inflation to go up. But, this is the federal government we’re talking about here, so the smart thing isn’t on their agenda.
And speaking of agendas, claiming businesses are engaging in price gouging is part of the Leftist agenda. Leftists believe there is a finite amount of money (while they spend it like there isn’t), and that translates to power. If Leftists can’t cuck you into giving away your money to the government (see Bill Gates), they will use any force they can to control the money going into a company (see Elon Musk and the Social Media Platform Formerly Known as Twitter). And here’s the twist: no matter how much money you give to the government or to Leftists, it’s never enough. You’ve just made yourself into an eternal sucker that the Left will always go to for money. It’s like being the parent of an entitled college student, but with less laundry.
This is where the accusations of price gouging come into play. By accusing businesses of being too greedy, it not only shifts the blame away from those who are actually responsible for it, but it puts pressure on the businesses to respond. And when someone with the governmental force of Puddin’ Head Joe tells you to lower prices, you’re expected to listen. Damn overhead costs and being able to recoup some of the costs of doing business! You either follow along with the plan or you get called out for being a greedy meanie-head!
This is why some people aren’t made for the private sector. Or the public sector for that matter.
Leftists are notoriously bad at economics, so it’s no wonder they resort to emotional manipulation tactics to get people to get angry at companies for trying to make a living in a shitty economy. Although there are cases when companies do jack up prices beyond what they realistically could, not every company is doing it. It’s like calling someone a racist; it’s a serious enough charge with implications on multiple levels, so it shouldn’t be thrown around like beads during Mardi Gras. If Puddin’ Head Joe has any evidence, I’m willing to look it over and determine if it’s actual price gouging or a lame-ass excuse for fucking up the economy.
Something tells me it’s going to be the latter.
Leftist Lexicon Word of the Week
I’m beginning to think Elon Musk got me in the Secret Santa draw this year because he just gave me one hell of a Christmas present! Musk filed a lawsuit against one of my favorite Leftist “news” sources, Media Matters, alleging the clown show… I mean news organization defamed the Social Media Network Formerly Known as Twitter through manipulating the algorithm to make it appear the network supported Nazis.
As we’ll see in a bit, manipulation is on-brand for Media Matters. While Leftists call them a “media watchdog group” or “a left leaning nonprofit“, the truth is much less squishy and harmless.
Media Matters for America
What the Left thinks it means – a non-profit organization exposing the lies of the Right
What it really means – a tax-exempt propaganda/misinformation arm of the DNC
Media Matters started from somewhat humble beginnings, at least by DC standards. It was the brain child of conservative-turned-Leftist and noted liar David Brock in 2004 and was designed to counter what Brock considered a right wing bias in media.
I’ll wait until you catch your breath from laughing so hard before I continue.
Ready? No, I see you’re still laughing, so I’ll wait a bit.
Now? Nope, still laughing!
Okay, since we’ll never get through this piece if I wait for you to stop laughing at Brock’s stupidity, I’ll go on without you.
Anyway, Brock’s asinine empire was built on a foundation of countering what he considered right wing lies with…left wing lies. Early on (and even to this day in some cases), Media Matters resorted to taking comments out of context to fabricating context for “gotcha” purposes to out and out lying to paint conservatives as liars.
But they’re seen as reliable sources of news. Or not.
Makes you really trust their reporting, doesn’t it?
Regardless, the Left sees Media Matters as a vital tool in the war against misinformation, which is funny considering the Left is generating misinformation on the daily about everything from Bidenomics to the war in Gaza to, well, fighting misinformation. Of course, this hasn’t stopped the Left from talking about the “chilling effect” the lawsuit will have and how it’s done to silence criticism. Of course, it’s all bullshit, but Leftists are gonna Leftist.
Of course, this flies in the face of the Left’s own rhetoric from alllllll the way back to 2020 regarding COVID-19. Back then, the “misinformation” was grounds for Twitter accounts being terminated, jobs being lost, and lives being ruined. In these cases, the Left said these were all fine because bad speech has consequences, which it does. Just ask The Chicks (formerly The Dixie Chicks).
But when it comes to Media Matters, the Left’s commitment to bad speech having consequences is weaker than a mixed drink at a strip club. Not that I know anything about that, mind you…
Anyway, when Media Matters lies, the Left runs with it. Maybe this has something to do with some Leftist media types being in bed with them. Or, it could be the fact they’re all fucking Leftists. Regardless, as long as the Left embraces Media Matters as a reliable and viable source of information, that symbiotic relationship will continue.
But, that doesn’t absolve them of lying for political benefit, nor should it. I have a great disdain for liars regardless of what party they inhabit, so it’s not a political thing with me. Media Matters has not only crossed the line, but did a flamenco dance over it to emphasize just how much they’re willing to draw attention to the fact they’re liars.
Legal experts are split on the merits of Musk’s lawsuit, but there are a few things I have to point out for our Leftist friends.
1) This isn’t a free speech/First Amendment issue. Lying is not necessarily protected by the First Amendment, as can be evidenced by libel, slander, and defamation lawsuits. If someone knowingly lies about another party with the intent of damaging that party, all free speech arguments go out the window because there’s provable malice involved. Wait a minute…doesn’t Musk’s lawsuit involve defamation? Why yes, yes it does!
2) The Left’s reaction to the lawsuit shows a level of desperation. As easy as it is to portray Elon Musk as the big bully in this case, the fact the Left is jumping between “Media Matters told the truth” to “Media Matters is a victim for being targeted” shows me they are trying to play both sides to see what works. If Media Matters is telling the truth, why try to portray them as victims? If they’re being targeted, wouldn’t a court case and possible trial bring that out for the world to see? Although it’s possible the two things can simultaneously be true, I’m betting the Left is shitting themselves because they know Media Matters is going to be exposed, which will also expose other Leftists.
3) The facts may not be in Media Matters’s favor. If what is being reported on the conservative media side is correct, an internal investigation showed how Media Matters gamed the X system to create a false narrative about X and Musk by extention. Given how Leftists reacted after the Social Media Network Formerly Known as Twitter stopped letting Leftists dictate things, it’s not that unlikely Media Matters took it upon themselves to get revenge by “proving” Musk’s “far right leanings.” (For the record, Musk appears to be more libertarian in approach, which to Leftists is far right. Consider the source.) Also, considering The Twitter Files brought plenty of receipts to the chagrin and disdain of the Left, I wouldn’t be surprised Musk has the goods…again.
4) Media Matters is bunch of fucking liars. Even if you agree with them, you can’t ignore the fact they’re not on a name basis with the truth. And you can’t be serious about fighting disinformation without getting your own house in order. But, of course, you will ignore this because Media Matters is on your side. All the better for me, since I can continue to point and laugh at your hypocrisy.
Whether Elon Musk’s lawsuit against Media Matters for America goes anywhere is immaterial at this point and certainly immaterial to my position on them. There’s an old saying about not being able to polish a turd, but Leftists aren’t willing to give up on trying that with Media Matters. The only thing that comes out of that is shit all over their hands, which will go well with the blood they have on their hands for being warmongering assholes.
And it will be fun to see Media Matters and Leftists enter the Find Out stage of Fuck Around and Find Out.
Extremist Makeover: Thanksgiving Edition
Hello, and welcome to another edition of Extremist Makeover! If you missed the first installment, shame on you! But since I like ya, I’ll let it go…this time!
Basically, Extremist Makeover tries to take something we know and try to improve its image by slapping a new coat of paint on it. Today’s installment involves one of my favorite holidays, Thanksgiving.
There was a time in this country when Thanksgiving meant something. Getting together with family, enjoying all sorts of food, watching the Detroit Lions lose again. You know, the really important things in life. But lately, Thanksgiving is treated like the Arbor Day of the fourth quarter of the year: recognized by a handful of people, but otherwise overlooked. Like Pauly Shore’s movie career.
In preparation for this piece, I did some thinking about the nature of society and the three major holidays of this time of year, Halloween, Thanksgiving, and Christmas. All three of these holidays involve giving in some fashion, but only two involve tangible goods. For Halloween, you give out candy, or booze if you’re a parent of a trick-or-treater. For Christmas, you give presents. What do you give for Thanksgiving? Well, thanks. It’s literally in the name of the holiday!
This is where society comes into play. It wasn’t that long ago that people loved to spend time with each other in fellowship and food. With the advent of the Internet and social media, people are no longer interested in turkey and stuffing and more interested in taking pictures of the turkey and stuffing to post on Instagram. Oh, and taking selfies doing a turducken face.
As we’ve gotten more superficial and obsessed with material goods (yay capitalism!), we’ve forgotten how to give thanks or appreciate what we have. In turn, that’s turned Thanksgiving into a detour between Halloween and Black Friday. And the weekend after Thanksgiving turns into a detour between Black Friday and Cyber Monday where you can still buy a Blu-Ray player for $25, but you don’t have to leave your house to fight off your fellow human beings for it. So, yay, I guess?
In short, Thanksgiving is getting the short end of the shaft. And, as anyone can tell you, that cat Shaft is a bad mutha…where was I again? Oh, yeah, Thanksgiving! How do we turn our annual triptophan fix into something even the most superficial amongst us would want to be part of?
With the nature of modern society being what it is, you might think merchandising and advertising would be the answer. But you’d be wrong. Americans aren’t opposed to spending money on Thanksgiving, and only the dumbest person would be a hard sell on a day off in the latter half of the week, so we don’t need to raise awareness of Thanksgiving’s existence. What we need to do is make people care about it again.
For this, we have to look at what makes America tick these days. And what really gets us going is a combination of violence, getting something for nothing, competition, and the possibility of someone getting embarrassed and/or seriously injured. There’s only one thing I know of that ticks all those boxes.
Japanese game shows.
More specifically, Takeshi’s Castle, better known in the States as Most Extreme Elimination Challenge.
Basically, the idea behind the shows is people competing in a series of physical stunts to whittle down the contestants to only those who successfully beat the challenges. Then, the finalists compete in one last challenge until there is only one contestant standing, often literally.
The original show had over 100 contestants at a time, so to increase the likelihood of violence, getting something for nothing, competition, and the possibility of someone getting embarrassed and/or seriously injured, I think we should keep this number. And we shouldn’t limit the scope to just a few people who want to humiliate themselves on camera!
Pick out 100 people at random from all socioeconomic groups and offer fantastic prizes, like having their personal income taxes paid in full or a really nice set of steak knives. You know, something the whole family can enjoy.
So, where does Thanksgiving come into play? This competition would be held on Thanksgiving Day! Replace the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade and the Detroit Lions game with the new Thanksgiving tradition, Thanksgiving Thunderdome! With the stunts and challenges I have planned, we could rip through the contestants at a pretty good clip. And don’t tell me you wouldn’t get a lot of joy at watching Bill Gates try to navigate a field of cow patties while being chased by people who think Microsoft is the worst company ever? (Namely, anybody who has used a Microsoft product on a regular basis.)
All we need is a network to pick it up and we have ourselves a hit and a way to make Thanksgiving mean something again!
Until next time, keep your feet on the ground and your head on top of your neck.
Leftist Lexicon Word of the Week
This week’s Lexicon entry has nothing to do with current events because there really isn’t anything new out there that some other commentator or dumbass hasn’t already covered. Good thing you have me so you can check off both boxes in one fell swoop!
Instead, I want to talk about a concept popular within Leftist circles, a little thing the kids like to call intersectionality. As much as I would like to say this is about determining who goes first at intersections, I’m afraid I can’t. Intersectionality is something far less useful, yet far more stupid.
intersectionality
What the Left thinks it means – the study of how systems of oppression/privilege overlap
What it really means – figuring out ways to make people into much bigger victims than they actually are
The Center for Intersectional Justice (and I swear this is a real thing), defines intersectionality thus:
The concept of intersectionality describes the ways in which systems of inequality based on gender, race, ethnicity, sexual orientation, gender identity, disability, class and other forms of discrimination “intersect” to create unique dynamics and effects.
Think of it as one big Venn Diagram, only a lot less orderly.
The idea behind intersectionality is where there is overlap, there is more opportunity to be a victim. A white lesbian quadruple diabetic amputee has a different number of touch-points than a black gender fluid left-handed bisexual with a speech impediment because…reasons! And with more touch-points of oppression comes more victims and, oddly enough, more privilege in Leftist circles. But intersectionality is supposed to address privilege, so…
Fuck if I know!
Along with intersectionality comes a process for Leftists to determine a victimhood hierarchy called a progressive stack. In short, the more victimized/marginalized you are (or are perceived to be by other Leftists), you get to speak before others who are less victimized/marginalized. Which further makes victimhood a positive…which defeats the purpose of fighting inequality since the Left is making inequality a means to elevate others…
I got nothing.
Like, literally. I got nothing.
There is no making sense of intersectionality or the progressive stack because it’s not about logic. It’s all about fee-fees. Leftists thrive in a world where feelings don’t care about your facts. Why else do you think 6’8″ 350 pound bearded men wearing pink taffeta can demand to be called Susan and Leftists don’t bat an eye? It’s because it doesn’t matter if the man has more between his legs than a male porn star because he feels like a woman and, thus, we have to respect that.
And the more you can claim you’re being oppressed, the more secure your position within Leftist circles.
The only problem (well, aside from being batshit insane) is the Left keeps shifting the meanings of key words to suit the situation. Try to get them to define a woman that doesn’t get dropped faster than a TikTok fad. Yet, gender and gender identity are part of intersectionality. So, how can these two concepts be so ill-defined in Leftist circles and still be parts of the intersectionality puzzle?
If you think logically, they can’t co-exist. If you think Leftically, they co-exist like they belong on a lame-ass bumper sticker on a Prius.
This same exercise can be repeated with race (which Leftists say is a social construct), gender identity (which Leftists say you develop as a toddler), and gender (which Leftists say is also a social construct), just to name three. And believe me, you don’t want to go down this rabbit hole any more than you have to. Leave that to me so you don’t burn any brain cells you might actually need.
Where intersectionality gets really fucked up is when you consider it makes personal pain into a tangible real world (or as real as Leftists feel) benefits. As you accumulate more and more sources or potential sources of oppression, the more valuable you are to a Leftist because it makes you easier to exploit. And if you think that’s harsh, there really is no better term to use here because, well, it’s fucking exploitation.
But wait, there’s more! With this exploitation comes an ego boost to generations who are already narcissistic from the jump. So, there is an instant dopamine boost from being a victim because you get attention and sympathy. If you have actual oppression in your life, what is the motivation to overcome it? If you fix yourself or your situation, you become less valuable to Leftists, which means you don’t get as much attention to feed your ego. You might even identify as an oppressed class because the Left’s definitions are looser than the world’s least profitable casino.
I’m lookin’ at you, Rachel Dolezal and Shawn King.
This notion is reinforced by progressive stacking. The way the stack works is the most oppressed gets to speak first. Implicit in that is the idea the most oppressed has the most important viewpoint and should be listened to by virtue of that oppression. The problem is that’s not true. After all, Puddin’ Head Joe and Kamala Harris say equally stupid shit on the regular, regardless of the order in which they speak.
Although this is theoretical stuff, we shouldn’t judge intersectionality and progressive stack until we see it in action, right? Well, it works as well as you might expect, which is to say it doesn’t.
But you know what does work? A little thing called the Golden Rule. Treat everybody else like you would want to be treated. And unlike intersectionality (and the people who push it), it actually works. Give it a try, Leftists, and let me know what you think.
In the meantime, we need to remember not everyone who claims to be a victim is a victim. Yes, this means we have to do some digging and not just believe, but when you consider how the Left uses oppression as a bargaining chip, it’s worth it. In these matters, Ronald Reagan’s “Trust, but verify,” could be the best stance to take.
Well, aside from pointing and laughing at the Leftists pimping pain, that is.
Leftist Lexicon Word of the Week
Although the combat in Gaza right now is like the Hatfields and McCoys with artillery capabilities, tensions on the home front here in America have also taken a turn for the toasty. As we’re finding out (or in some cases reaffirming because we’ve been paying fucking attention), there are some people here who are sympathetic to the plight of those in Gaza to the point they’re willing to minimize or wave away the horrible actions of Hamas.
Like The Squad’s Rashida Tlaib.
Seems Rep. Tlaib has been repeating an oft-used phrase with regards to Palestine’s demands of Israel: “From the river to the sea, Palestine will be free.” And Leftists have been twisting themselves more than a hot yoga studio that doubles as a pretzel oven trying to tone down what this phrase means.
And if recent media spin is any indication, we’re gonna be hearing “Well, Ackchyually” from the Left for weeks to come just over the “from the river to the sea” bit. Well, Ackchyually…I mean actually, the definition of the phrase is much simpler to grasp.
from the river to the sea
What the Left thinks it means – a complex phrase that can mean any number of things, mostly peaceful statements of a desire for Palestinian freedom
What it really means – a simple phrase calling for the eradication of Israel
See? Told ya it was simple!
The phrase originated back in the 1960d, eventually being adopted as a slogan by those lovely, peaceful people who never wanted to destroy Israel, the Palestine Liberation Organization. For any Leftists or the historically illiterate (I know, I know, I’m repeating myself) reading this, that was sarcasm. Although it’s been interpreted within historical context as a desire for a democratic state of Palestine, it’s been taken up by antisemites like the PLO and Hamas to mean the total destruction of Israel.
Wait a minutes…the PLO and Hamas want Israel to go the way of the latest Marvel movie flop? Who could have seen that coming?
Again, sarcasm.
Since the most vocal and the most violent Palestinian elements in Gaza appear to be of this mindset, I’m gonna go out on a limb and say they’re not really pushing for a democratic state called Palestine. And judging from the way they’ve acted since October 7th, that’s a pretty safe bet.
Of course, the Left and the media (repeating myself again) know this deep down in their core, which is why they have to lie about the phrase through conflating the more peaceful meaning with the more prevalent current meaning. There are a couple of reasons for this. First, Leftists know shit about fuck when it comes to foreign affairs.
Second, they’ve spent years building a narrative about how those mean old Israelis are tormenting those poor Palestinians, and if you disagree, you’re an islamophobe. For more information on islamophobia, and so I can throw in an absolutely shameless plug for a previous Leftist Lexicon entry, check out this link.
Third, the Left sees political opportunity in supporting the Palestinians, considering The Squad includes two Muslim members and the entirety of The Squad tend to be the whiniest bitches this side of “The View.” With more Muslims coming to America (and voting for people who share their faith), the Left sees dollar signs and votes. Fuck the optics! These Muslims need the Left to advance their agenda!
Then again, given the Left’s position on abortion and their blatant hatred for Jews, I guess it’s not that much of a leap for them to want to abort Israeli children no matter what trimester it is.
Fourth, if you piss off Muslims enough, things tend to get…explodey.
And fifth, Israel holds a special place in Christian hearts, and since Christians tend to vote Republican, the Left has to take a contrarian view. And the fact is already feeds into their bigotry is icing on the cake.
Hence, the whitewashing of “from the river to the sea.” Ironic, considering how much Leftists hate white people, don’t ya think?
The problem with this approach is it’s bullshit, hypocritical, and utterly stupid. I mean, there are several problems, but these three pretty much sum up my feelings on the matter at hand. I’ve already explained why it’s bullshit, so that leaves hypocritical and utterly stupid to go.
Unfortunately for Leftists, I loaded for bear.
With “from the river to the sea,” the Left is giving Palestinians the most generous interpretation of the phrase, so much so I wouldn’t be surprised if they would try to write it off on next year’s taxes as a donation. Compare this to anything a Republican might say. You know…like, oh I don’t know…Donald Trump referring to “very fine people on both sides.” Yeah, that turn of a phrase was treated worse than David Duke at the NAACP Image Awards, even though the context was clear that Trump wasn’t referring to the white nationalists at the time and said so repeatedly. And I say this as someone who is not a Trump fan, partially because of the way he tends to mangle the English language over topics that would be a slam-dunk for anyone else. Well, except for Puddin’ Head Joe and Kamala Harris, but you get the idea.
And it’s not just Trump who’s been the victim of Leftists taking the worst possible interpretation of what anybody to the right of Nancy Pelosi says. Glenn Beck, Fox News, and Newt Gingrich just to name three off the top of my head have all been victims of intentional smears by the Left through mischaracterization, taking statements out of context, or outright fabricating “dog whistles” that “prove” the Right’s racism.
Of course, if the Left can hear these “dog whistles” wouldn’t that make them racist?
Never mind.
The point is the Left treat communication as both a weapon and a shield depending on what side of the political aisle you’re on. The fact the Left is willing to go to bat for people who would kill them at the drop of a bomb vest but not a fellow American who disagrees with them politically speaks volumes to the utter intellectual and depravity we’re dealing with here.
And I think that last sentence covers the utterly stupid part I mentioned earlier.
Look, it’s cool if you think Palestine should have its own country, and if I had my druthers and could reasonably expect the leaders of this country wouldn’t use said druthers to set up base camp for Holocaust II: Electric Boogaloo, I would push for that to happen. The problem is I don’t think we can trust that to happen due to the number of Islamic extremists within the pro-Palestinian movement. Their holy doctrine allows violence against non-believers, and these kids tend to take the Quran very seriously/literally. And considering that same doctrine says it’s okay to lie to non-Muslims…well, let’s just say I’m going to pass on the Trust Fall with these folks.
That brings us back to “from the river to the sea.” I know this is going to surprise you, but I’m not going to be as generous with my interpretation as the Left is. Given the nature of Muslim extremists like those in Hamas to lie and play people for fools, there is no wiggle room here for me. They want to turn Israel into a parking lot, possibly made of glass if Iran supplies them with nukes. Anyone who says differently is an idiot.
Or a Leftist. But again, I repeat myself.
And, no, that’s not sarcasm.
Leftist Lexicon Word of the Week
Since the Gaza Strip turned into a war zone, there have been a number of disturbing events. Violence against Jews has risen. Acts of anti-Jewish vandalism are rampant. Leftist strongholds have let the mask drop to show how they really feel about Israel.
In response to this, the Puddin’ Head Joe Administration swung into action. With their fingers fully on the pulse of the nation and how Americans feel about Israel, they gathered their best minds and announced a national initiative to combat…islamophobia.
Remember, kids, this idea came from their best minds.
Since the Left brought it up, I figured we should revisit islamophobia in the current context and have a few laughs in the process.
islamophobia
What the Left thinks it means – irrational fear or hatred of Muslims, currently fueled by high emotions over the Gaza situation
What it really means – a term used to deflect legitimate criticism of Muslim extremists
Let me make something perfectly clear. I don’t hate Islam anymore than I hate anything else. The customs and practices are different, but that’s not a reason to start stringing up Muslims. Just like with Christianity, there are different belief systems under the Muslim banner, some more uptight, others more relaxed. Regardless, I extend that offer of kinship until such time as it gets revoked because I would like the same for my beliefs.
Having said that, Islam has a problem, namely there are some really uptight assholes ruining it for the rest of the faithful. As much as Leftists like to paint people like me as radical extremists destined to lash out with violence, I don’t see that many Amish drive-bys. Mainly because they tend not to have cars, but the point’s the same. Christianity is not by its nature violent. You could count on the two hands of the world’s worst power tool demonstrator the number of Christians who have acted violently in the past century or so. And last time Christians did act violently on a wide scale (i.e. the Crusades), it didn’t work out for them.
Islam, on the other hand…well, let’s just say they have a ways to go in the non-violence workbook. And it’s for this reason people are a little skittish about completely trusting our Muslim brothers and sisters. When Christianity gets radicalized, you tend to get Amway-level aggressive proselytizing. When Islam gets radicalized, you tend to get explosions. They are not the same.
Naturally, the Left has found a way to weaponize prudent caution by shaming people into ignoring it through shame. Islamophobia works in the same way “racist” does with the Left: take any less-than-positive statement, put it through their intersectionality prism (with a quick consultation of their Oppression Decoder Rings), and turn it into hate. You know, just like The Squad!
With regards to the fighting in Gaza, the Left has ramped up the islamophobia rhetoric to paint Muslims as being persecuted by Israel. And, just like clockwork, the squawking points went out for Leftists to recite without self-reflection. Although there are Muslims affected by the current situation, the Left has pulled a bit of a switcheroo.
Take any current Leftist statement about islamophobia, for example. Notice there is one name that never gets mentioned in the same breath as decrying islamophobia. That’s right, kids. I’m talking about Hamas. By only mentioning Muslims, Leftists don’t have to deal with the fact there are Muslims like Hamas running around out there. And they use Israel’s military strength to create a David vs. Goliath where the Muslims (i.e. Hamas) are the underdogs.
That same approach works with islamophobia, too. By painting Muslims as the victims, the Left has made it next to impossible for any legitimate discourse on whether radical Islam is a problem. (Spoiler Alert: it is.) So, all of Islam gets a whitewash and the Left can keep avoiding a major blind spot it has regarding it. A win-win!
Well, except for all the people who are injured, kidnapped, or murdered by the radical Muslims like Hamas, of course.
There is legitimate hatred of Muslims out there, but it’s not nearly as widespread as the Left wants us to believe. But this gives the Left an incentive to pump up the numbers by making any slight against Muslims islamophobic. And I do me any slight. The problem becomes separating the real islamophobia from the bullshit and being unafraid to call it out when it happens.
Guess who I trust least with doing any of that.
Maybe it’s me, but it’s almost like the Left is so focused on fighting islamophobia as an apology of sorts for our response to 9/11, which was to…go after Muslim extremists and their proxies. Even though there were examples of dumb people treating anyone with darker brown skin like a terrorist, most of the anger was directed at those who supported the attack on America.
To the Left, this was a black stain on our history, so they made it a central point of their platform from that point on to reject the idea there are bad Muslims, just good Muslims being persecuted by evil nasty poopyhead Right Wingers.
Wait…isn’t that the same rationale the Left used with illegal Mexican immigrants?
And wouldn’t that be a great strategy for people who want America to be destroyed to exploit? But I’m sure that would never happen, right?
That insinuation may make people call me islamophobic, and I don’t care. The term has lost all meaning for me because it’s been oversaturated like the Travis Kelce/Taylor Swift relationship. At that point, I enter Don’t Give A Fuck Mode. The fact the Left continues to pretend islamophobia is rampant, especially at a time when Muslim extremists are responsible for killing people who were at a fucking music festival, is troubling. How many more people are Leftists going to allow to be killed or hurt just to protect their feefees?
If the media coverage of the war in Gaza is any indication, as many as it takes.
In the meantime, it’s incumbent upon us to keep cooler heads and not treat every Muslim how Leftists are treating Israel right now. We have to encourage Muslims to feel free to express their opinions, even if we disagree with them, and show them love. As the late Martin Luther King Jr. said, “Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that.” If we want to end hostilities towards Muslims (or any group for that matter), we must start by mending fences.
Of course, once those fences get blown up by people who prefer to kill us than be neighborly, only three words need to be uttered.
Game on, bitch.
Extremist Makeover: The Vice Presidency
Hey, kids, and welcome to a segment I’d like to try out and see if people like it. If so, I’ll try to do one of these every so often if only to give me an excuse to do something other than Leftist Lexicon entries. If not…well, I may still do it anyway because I’m a stubborn asshole.
Either way, I feel a bit of explanation is in order. Throughout my time on the Interwebs, I’ve been called a right wing extremist more often than I can remember, so for the purposes of a 2000s callback, I’m going to lean into it for the purposes of this sketch.
Remember those TV shows where they revamp a home and make it better than it was? I’m going to apply that same mindset to different topics that come to mind in the hopes of entertaining you and maybe, just maybe, giving you a new perspective. Or failing that, give you another reason to send me hate mail. With that being said, let’s get into this edition’s Extremist Makeover.
At one time, a President’s Vice President was as important a pick as the name at the top of the ticket. But after the past few elections, the Vice President has become less relevant than the footnotes of a Media Matters hit piece. Aside from a few Constitutional and ceremonial duties, the Vice President doesn’t actually do very much. If he or she is doing a good job, you typically don’t hear about him/her because, let’s face it, it’s a boring job.
And it’s not like it’s a lock for a better job. The last Vice President who got elected President was Puddin’ Head Joe, and neither of his stints were all that memorable. Anymore the Vice Presidency is a safeguard for the President because nobody wants to see that person with access to the nuclear codes. Think I’m wrong? Take a look at this list of less than luminaries.
George H. W. Bush – sorta wimpy, hates broccoli and the laps of Japanese leaders
Dan Quayle – young guy, bad speller
Al Gore – the archetype of every “typical white man” joke ever told
Dick Cheney – Wilfred Brimley with a shotgun
Joe Biden – an incompetent dumbass whose resume in the private sector is lighter than a supermodel’s snack
Mike Pence – what would happen if mayonnaise gained sentience and assumed human form
Kamala Harris – someone I wouldn’t trust on a diplomatic mission to Alderaan
And these are the Vice Presidents of the winners of the Presidency. The losers are far less impressive.
Let that fact roll around in your brains for a minute.
Clearly, the Vice Presidency has lost its luster, so how do we (or more specifically, I) fix that? Given the propensity of the Vice President to be the one voted Most Likely To Drool On Themselves from their respective high schools, it may not be in our power to make things better. However, I think we can make the role match the quality.
The Vice President is considered the Second Gentleman or Second Lady in the case of the aforementioned Mrs. Harris. To better align the actual duties of the office with the most appropriate title, I propose the Vice President be called the Second Banana. For people unfamiliar with the term, a second banana is someone who supports the main act, specifically a comedian. Given how much of a joke politics has gotten recently, that’s not too far from the truth as it stands.
Since a second banana is there to support the first banana, there isn’t much expected of him/her, but there are times when the second banana can become a first banana through sheer popularity or excellent performance. That takes a lot of work and competence, which are in short supply in Washington, DC, these days. If the Second Banana wants to be considered for a spin-off (i.e. the Presidency), he or she is going to have to show the ability to carry it instead of just assuming it’s a done deal. That’s how we got “Joey” after “Friends” went off the air.
In short, changing the Vice President to the Second Banana will help bring about better Presidents while providing us with laughs for years to come!
So, what do you think of this Extremist Makeover? Do you have any ideas for future makeovers? Let me know!
Leftist Lexicon Word of the Week
To take our minds off the recent fighting in the Middle East, the economic turmoil at home, and the possibility of another season of anything involving the Kardashians, let’s read a book. That is, if those evil mean illiterate nasty Republicans let you!
Over the past year or so, parents have been finding out there’s more being taught in schools besides the 3 Rs (which, if you want to get technical, is really an R, a W, and an A), and it’s pissed them off a little bit. Then again, who needs to learn math, English, and science when there’s albino bisexual midget quadriplegic slam poetry to learn?
As a result of these revelations, Republican governors like Ron DeSantis and Kim Reynolds have rolled out what the Left has called “book bans.” Leftists also proudly proclaim “We Read Banned Books” if the Facebook and The Social Media Network Formerly Known as Twitter posts and laminated stickers are any indication. The Right has pushed back saying they’re not book bans because the books are still available, just not to certain students.
So, what’s the truth? As you might expect, it’s a lot more gray than you’d think.
book bans
What the Left thinks it means – efforts by the Right to ban books because they don’t like them and want students to be ill-informed
What it really means – keeping creepy shit out of the hands of those unprepared to deal with the subject matter
Recent American history has not been kind to fans of the written word, such as your humble correspondent. We’ve seen books burned, trashed, destroyed, and otherwise maligned by people whose intentions may have been good on the surface, but were really just the motivations of some crazed dickweed with a Paul Bunyon-sized ax to grind. For a long time, it was the more religiously-bent among us who enjoyed making a bonfire out of Bonfire of the Vanities, but around the 1990s, the Left started getting into the act, not with torches, but with Political Correctness.
It started with Huckleberry Finn, a literary classic that entertained young and old alike since its initial publishing. But when PC became a thing, the book fell into disfavor for its frequent use of a term I won’t repeat here because a) it’s offensive, and b) I’m not Michael Richards. After raising a stink about the word, Leftists sought to remove it from schools to fight racism. Context and time period didn’t matter because even though the words were written several decades before these dipshits were born, they were offended now! And back then, just like today, when something offended them, it had to be eliminated. Fortunately, cooler heads prevailed and the adventures of Huck and Jim were safe.
That’s the kind of book bans the Left doesn’t want us to talk about or acknowledge. They want us to think about the Right burning books or wanting Harry Potter books removed from school libraries because concerned parents think it promotes witchcraft and the occult. While the overt push for book bans is still being done, quiet book bans are also taking place, either through complete disinterest in the subject matter or author or through a shame campaign forcing people to choose between reading some books and being on “the right side of history.” Unfortunately, shame works all too well, especially in today’s society where we’re more narcissistic and status-conscious than ever before. And if it’s not something about Taylor Swift and Travis Kelce, it just ain’t important, amirite?
In the current sense, book bans are being done by both sides, just for different reasons. The Left wants books (and sometimes even authors) memory-holed for not staying in lock step with the current ideology. The Right…well, let’s just say they have a slightly different reason, namely the absolute stuff being passed off as elementary school and young adult literature. Such as Gender Queer, a graphic novel geared towards young adults that shows illustrations of how to give a blow job.
At this rate, the 3 Rs are going to include have to make room for one or two more, such as rimjobs. (Author’s Note: if you don’t know what one is, don’t look it up. Trust me on this.)
And then there is This Book Is Gay, also geared towards middle school students, with mentions of the gay dating site Grindr. (And I must repeat, this is being geared towards middle school students, something definitely not appropriate for anyone under 18.) Having been a middle school student once, I know for a fact I wouldn’t have been ready for that kind of subject matter because I was just getting used to the changes in my own body, as well as the emotional and intellectual maturity going on. Today’s kids are even less prepared than I was to handle it. They may be more accepting of it, but that doesn’t mean they’re ready for it.
As much as I criticize the Right for the crazy shit they do with regards to books, they actually have a point here. To make matters worse for the Left, DeSantis, Reynolds, and others aren’t actually banning the aforementioned books, but rather suggesting they be kept in more appropriate libraries with the option for parents and/or students to request they be checked out from said libraries. And they aren’t prohibiting parents from buying these books themselves.
If that’s a book ban, it has to be one of the shittiest ever.
On the other side of the coin, the Left’s current brand revolves around “cancel culture” so it’s not that much of a stretch to think they’re fine with banning books they don’t like. Just ask J.K. Rowling, once a Leftist darling whose books inspired Leftists to pretend Donald Trump was Voldemort, but then became a pariah for daring to think…women are women and trans women aren’t! How revolting!
Along with Rowling, you can add authors like Ayn Rand, Dr. Thomas Sowell, Larry Elder, Tammy Bruce, and a laundry list of Right-leaning writers who have been removed from Leftist minds by virtue (or in this case vice) of not being Leftists and, therefore, not worth their time. Amazing how the Left’s version of diversity excludes the intellectual kind.
More disturbing to me, however, is the cavalier nature of the Left redefining book bans to include what DeSantis and Reynolds are doing. But, as with most things Leftist, it’s being done for multiple purposes…or is that purposi? Anyway, the point is the Left has a vested interest in painting those parents and politicians who don’t think little Johnny should be learning how to assfuck his best friend along with his ABCs as extremist whackjobs.
The most obvious motivations are political. After all, the LGBTQIA+2R14X-ROCKINTHEUSA community is firmly in the back pockets of the Left, both figuratively and literally, so Leftists want to make them happy. Gotta keep those coffers full, right?
Which leads into another motivation: to create more of the LGBTQIA+APOLLO13CUBS2 community to perpetually keep the coffers full. The Left’s real anger over the book bans isn’t that the books are being banned, but rather that the subject matter of those books and where it’s being placed in public schools got revealed. And they would have gotten away with it if it weren’t for those meddling kids…err…parents. If nobody found out, Leftists would have been able to keep it going and create an assembly line of kids who parrot Leftists squawking points without even so much as a second thought.
Including those who continue to parrot the “Republicans are banning books” lie.
The Left have caught themselves in a trap of their own making. On the one hand, they’re putting these books into public school libraries without telling anyone outside of their ideological and work bubble to ensure they get there. Then, when called out on it, they lie by omission by conflating books like Gender Queer with other controversial, yet far more innocuous, books. But when parents and groups like Moms for Liberty show up to school board meetings and try to read from these books, the board tries to shut them down and Leftists go after the parents. If there’s nothing wrong with the books, why try to silence those who want to share the intellectual wealth, as it were?
Because it’s never about the books themselves. It’s always about the ideology.
I’m of the mindset that the best way to handle controversial topics is to bring them into the light of day. Not only does it offer the best possible way to provide a way forward and foster understanding, it exposes the bad faith actors. Although the Right still has their book banning assholes, the Left is doing their best to keep pace. Blaming Ron DeSantis, Kim Reynolds, or any Republican Governor for taking steps to keep inappropriate subject matter out of the hands of kids not yet ready to process it exposes the bad faith actors on the Left and only serves to make their arguments against said Governors weaker by compassion.
And, no, “because DeSantis is a meanie head” isn’t an argument. Even if you stomp your feet and threaten to hold your breath.