It wasn’t that long ago that I graduated from college. Okay, maybe it has been, considering I graduated with a Masters in 1994.
Excuse me for a moment while I weep to myself and apply Ben Gay to my aching body.
Anyway, one of the aspects of graduating was having to pay back all the money I borrowed to go to college and get a degree I barely use. But, for what it’s worth, I’ve read a lot of books. Okay, now I have to weep again…
These days, the crying isn’t just limited to me. Secretary of Education Linda McMahon announced the department would start collection attempts on outstanding student loan debt in default. As you might expect, students impacted by this aren’t happy. After all, President Brick Tamland tried to forgive student loan debt through various means, the most obvious one being “I’m the President, or am I?”
This has become a political issue, so naturally politicians are going to get involved. And when they do, I am here to give commentary. Oh, and to mock the appropriate parties.
student loans
What the Left thinks it means – an oppressive economic burden placed on the backs of those least capable of paying it
What it really means – loans taken out to pay for a college degree that more often than not doesn’t translate to the real world
I will warn you at this point things may get tangental because there is a lot of ground to cover. Of course, if you’ve read me for any length of time, you’re asking, “So what’s different?”
Not that long ago, going to college was somewhat of an achievement. You either had to be really smart or really rich to go. Then, someone (probably someone in the admissions department) came up with the idea that more people needed to go to college. From there, the notion was put in the minds of young people (and their parents) that you had to go to college or else you wouldn’t be successful.
Then, someone else (probably someone in the accounting department) came up with the idea that more students meant more money. And what’s a great way to raise a bunch of money in a short period of time? I mean aside from stealing it. You raise tuition! That way even if your institute of higher learning has an enrollment drought you might be able to make a pretty penny. That, and the textbook prices.
There is a downside to this approach, namely pricing yourself out of the market. Then, a third person (probably someone in the government) decided the best way to address this is to offer student loans. Then, even more young people could go to college, which made everyone happy.
At least until the kids graduated and they had to pay back the money they borrowed.
See, the thing about the government getting involved in the student loan game is it allowed colleges and universities to jack up tuition costs, which meant prospective students had to borrow even more just to go to a 7 AM Color Theory in American Literature class three times a week. Or, more likely, not attend that class and crib notes off a classmate without a life. After all, there was drinking and drugs to do!
Not that I know anything about that, mind you.
The Left is on the right side of the student loan debt issue, at least superficially. The amount of debt that has to be run up just to attend college these days is astronomical, and with a job market that can be softer than Taylor Lorenz’s feefees, being able to pay back the money owed can be tough. Not impossible, mind you, but harder than it needs to be, just like the language in the loan application.
Where the Left goes banana-shaped on the issue is in figuring out who’s responsible, mainly because some of the finger-pointing would have to go towards some of their allies. Since student loans have come under the auspices of the federal government, it’s easy to think there is a Mount Everest-sized mountain of unending money just waiting for people to take without consequence. And that group of people includes…drumroll please…college administrators and Boards of Regents. These are the people who evaluate tuition costs, and in recent years they’ve refused tuition increases as often as I’ve refused to eat medium rare steaks: it’s never come up.
And when you consider a significant percentage of administrators lean to the Left, it’s Leftists who are making the student loan debt issue worse.
To borrow a phrase from Philip Joseph Watson, “Imagine my shock.”
But the damage goes even further. With the rising cost of tuition, are students getting the bang for Uncle Sam’s buck? Well…let’s just say a lot of the banging going on is limited to the coeds. Students and parents alike believe tuition is too high and can create economic anxiety with students, which negatively affects their ability to learn.
Not that the curricula may have that much value anymore. Sure, you’ll have the hard sciences and more business-focused courses, but most of the time the courses being offered will help you in the job market as much as tattooing “I’m Unhireable” on your forehead. And I’m saying that as someone with an English Language and Literature degree! So, if you’re looking for a cushy corner office job with your Non-Binary Native American Tap Dance degree, you’re shit out of luck.
Unless, of course, you decide to go into teaching. You may not get a corner office, but being a professor can be lucrative and, aside from doing scholarly research to keep up on the trends in the field of study, it’s not too bad of a gig. Of course, this doesn’t help the student loan situation any, but hey.
Another area of agreement I have with the Left on the student loan issue is the expectations being put upon young adults. The documentation necessary to apply for a student loan is enough to make the Sierra Club cry like the Native American from that commercial. There’s a lot of legalese and verbiage to wade through and even then you may not know enough of the details to know what’s expected of you. To help with this, I have a simplified student loan process.
1. Tell the borrower how much they owe.
2. Tell the borrower when and how to make payments.
3. Tell the borrower what happens if/when payments can’t be made.
That’s it. And really that’s as complicated as it needs to be. Cut out the “party of the first part” jazz and get to the point. It’s going to make everyone a lot happier.
There’s another level to the student loan issue where the Left is at cross purposes. One of the squawking points is it’s impossible for 18 year olds to understand the terms of a student loan, so it’s irresponsible for lenders to hold them responsible for the debt. Yet, they also believe a child can know whether he or she is trans as early as 3 or 4.
So let me get this straight (or whatever sexual orientation you are). A preschooler can know he or she is trans, but an 18 year old can’t figure out that if you borrow money you have to pay it back at some point? If you flip the ages, it makes more sense, but as it stands in Leftist circles, it doesn’t, and I can’t make it make sense.
The reason for this contradiction is simple: Leftists aren’t known for making sense. But more to the point, treating young adults as though they’re children creates victims in search of an oppressor. And, surprise surprise, the oppressor tends to be the nameless, faceless monolith of whatever Boogieman the Left wants to blame for it this microsecond. Combine that with the ideological instruction these students are getting, and you have a ready-made army willing to go to the wall for a cause.
And a bunch of underinformed foot soldiers looking for direction.
This piece of advice may be a little late for some, but it needs to be said. Before you apply for any loan, look over the terms. This is Common Sense 101, but far too often people sign the documents before they think about the consequences. That’s one big reason so many people ran into problems during the mortgage industry implosion of the late 2000s: they assumed the good times would keep rolling. Then when shit went sideways, they weren’t prepared.
And that brings up another piece of advice. If you have a child or teenager in your lives, teach them about fiscal responsibility early and often. (Like voting in Chicago!) Taking a few hours to teach them about budgeting, saving, and smart spending will save them years of having to deal with the negative repercussions of overspending and underearning. If you want a quick course, tell them about the national debt and how both major parties spend like drunken sailors.
And if you’re in the group of young adults coming to the realization those loans you took out are coming due, you won’t get anywhere by complaining on TikTok, nor looking for Big Daddy Government to bail you out. After I graduated college, there were more than a few lean years as I tried to find my footing in the corporate world. That’s normal, but it’s not impossible to overcome if you plan accordingly.
This isn’t to give the Right a pass when they suggest graduates stop eating avocado toast to make ends meet. That’s a simplistic viewpoint that doesn’t help the problem. If you want to help, offer your knowledge on how to budget and determine how to recognize needs versus wants.*
*Offer void to anyone in government right now
Student loans have become a necessary evil (emphasis on “evil”) due to forces outside of the borrowers’ control. Regardless of where you fall on the political spectrum, we should strive to address the core issues and bring them under control so college students and their families don’t spend restless nights worrying how to pay for an education and focus on ore important activities.
Like heavy drinking!
Day: April 27, 2025
Extremist Makeover- Harvard Edition
It’s been a rough few years for the good folks at Harvard University. Controversies ranging from alleged plagiarism by one of the administrators to, well, a whole lotta antisemitism on campus have turned the faces of alumni and administrators…crimson.
I’ll see myself out.
Okay, I’m back. Now, I may not have an Ivy League education, but I have a few ideas to help Harvard out of its current situation.
First off, you have a Code of Conduct that everyone is supposed to follow, but it’s not. When you have a set of rules and you ignore them, it doesn’t end well. You might wind up like Congress!
Seriously, though, the Code of Conduct shouldn’t just be a good idea that occasionally gets enforced depending on the situation (or more specifically the ideology of the offenders). Either have it or don’t. And if you have it, use it!
Along with this, you might want to tone down the tone-deafness when it comes to the anti-Jewish sentiment. I know things in Gaza are as unsteady as Britney Spears these days, but there is a fine line between protesting and menacing a certain segment of students who may or may not agree with Israel’s actions. Not to mention, you might have a few Jewish lawyers lining up to sue Harvard if you don’t turn the anti-Jewish sentiment from an 11 (because it’s one higher) to, oh, a -43.
Now, for the administration to accomplish these two initial steps, they have to stop trying to act like the “cool parents” and start acting more like Red Foreman from “That 70s Show.” Take control of the situation, hand out punishments appropriate to the offenses, and stick to your proverbial guns. Don’t try to reason with the offenders. Don’t coddle them or encourage them. Lay down the law, or in this case the Code of Conduct. And if some of the student body doesn’t like it, call them dumbasses (if you’ll pardon the vulgarity) like Mr. Foreman would do.
Also, and I hate to bring this up, but an Ivy League education isn’t as prestigious as it used to be. Granted, the quality of higher education has gotten a lot lower in recent decades, but Moose Knuckle Community College, Tire and Lube, Hairdressing Salon, and Mini Mart is no Harvard. It used to be an honor to attend Harvard, Yale, or any other Ivy League school. Now, it’s a pit stop for rich kids before they get a nepotism hire or a role in a company that looks more at where you went to school than whether you can actually do the job.
You know, like Congress!
Yes, I know I used that joke earlier. What can I say? I like recycling!
To stem the tide, at least where Harvard is concerned, the administration needs to take academics seriously. That means attracting the best and brightest, not just to attend, but to teach. And that means finding people who want to teach, not just pawn off work to TAs so they don’t have to teach an 8 AM Advanced Bisexual Chinese Poetry About Dwarfs class.
And while we’re here, can we do something about the useless classes and majors that permeate colleges and universities these days? I’m sure there’s a market for The Philosophy of Katy Perry’s Pseudo-Space Launch, but that doesn’t mean Harvard has to offer it. Be a bit more picky than Taylor Swift when tracking down another ex-boyfriend to write songs about for a future album. Strive for the highest quality of curricula and the teachers for them. Sure, you may not get as much money by not offering the aforementioned Katy Perry course, but you won’t also get called out for offering such a vapid course in the first place, so it’s a win-win.
This next bit may be harder to address, but you won’t know if you don’t try. Find professors whose politics are closer to, say, the middle than to the freaky outer limits of the Left. This is going back a few decades, but the best professors I’ve ever had were ones who taught the coursework without interjecting politics, like, at all. I’m sure they had their ideological beliefs, but it was hard to pick out from the material being taught. Professors shouldn’t be punished for having political opinions (that’s what tenure is supposed to prevent), but it shouldn’t be the core of their teaching style, either.
Finally, have a real commitment to free speech on campus. And, yes, that means hearing from all sides, not just the ones you agree with because, believe it or not, there are some intelligent people out there on the Right. Imagine learning economics from Dr. Thomas Sowell, for example. Not only would you get a high-level education on the subject, but it would be in a manner that is engaging, challenging, and thorough.
And given the number of champagne socialists running around on campus these days, they could use an economics course or fifty.
Although it’s going to take a while for Harvard to go from laughingstock to leading the academic world, I don’t think it’s a lost cause just yet. Making a few changes will make the Harvard experience worth chasing again. The alternative is to become the academic equivalent of the “Snow White” live-action movie: underwhelming, over budget, and more sparsely populated than the hairs on Vin Diesel’s head.