My fellow Americans,
After listening to parts of the most recent State of the Union Address, I came to a startling revelation, and I must apologize. For years, I have been calling the President “Puddin’ Head Joe” and even wrote a parody song about it. I was wrong, and I am sorry. From this point on, I shall refrain from calling the President Puddin’ Head Joe.
Because I found a much more appropriate name.
If you remember the film “Anchorman,” you should remember the character of Brick Tamland, the weatherman as played by Steve Carrell. To put it mildly, Brick was only a step or two from being a drooling idiot. If that doesn’t describe Joe Biden right now, I don’t know what does.
Anyway, President Tamland’s SOTU Address was full of shouting, gaslighting, divisiveness, and general what-in-the-Wide-World-of-Fuck that we’ve come to expect out of the guy. But at this point I have to ask whether he’s even up to be President of the HOA, let alone the United States.
This thought by itself would get be branded as ageist, ableist, or any other -ist the Left could muster to defend their guy, but it’s time we had an intervention. President Tamland is no longer capable of being President and no amount of water-carrying by the media will change that.
Especially when you consider the same assholes telling us how sharp President Tamland is were finding any excuse they could to make former President Donald Trump look like, well, the current President.
To be fair, though, Trump may not necessarily be the best alternative, either. By the time he would take the Oath of Office for a second time (should he be reelected), he would be 78 years old, only three years younger than President Tamland is now. Although Trump hasn’t exhibited the rate of mental decline his opponent has yet, maybe it’s time we start trending younger for Presidential candidates.
Not that the next generation of Presidential hopefuls is any great intellectual leap from the current crop, mind you. As our politicians skew younger, I swear they get dumber, as evidenced by Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez and Marjorie Taylor Greene. You could combine the two and still not come up with a half-wit.
But in today’s political environment, it doesn’t matter if you’re dumber than Brittany Spears’ current social media manager. All that matters is you vote “the right way.” Then, you will get the public support of your party, even if it’s through gritted teeth and reddened faces.
This leads to the great paradox of leadership. Those who would be great at it don’t want to do it, and those who suck at it are always the first in line to run for higher office. And once they get into office, you need an act of God (or in the case of Leftists, an act of Soros) to get them out, which means the worst of the worst become our problems year after year, election after election.
And by problems, I mean embarrassments. Between Rep. Eric Swalwell sleeping with a Chinese spy (and still getting to keep his position on the House Committee on Homeland Security) and Rep. Lauren Boebert giving out handies during a musical version of “Beetlejuice,” I’m surprised we don’t need to supply DC with more cold showers or at least lengths of hose to keep these horndogs thinking more about their jobs than about getting lucky. Then again, if they’re too busy fucking each other, they won’t have time to fuck us over, so there’s that.
What I’m trying to say is America is being run by people who could limbo under the lowest of standards with plenty of room to spare. While we’re busy worrying about how to make our dollars stretch more than Amy Schumer’s yoga pants, we tend to let things like candidate quality slide. We need to do a better job of holding our elected officials accountable at every level instead of shrugging and saying, “well, the other side is worse.” Remember, the lesser of two evils is still evil, and the lesser of two incompetents is still incompetent, even if the incompetent is on “our side.”
And people wonder why I’m voting for the C’thulu/Sweet Meteor of Death 2024 ticket.
Tag: alexandria ocasio cortez
Leftist Lexicon Word of the Week
This week, we delve into the world of comedy, for which some readers are saying “Finally!” Fortunately for you, it’s not my jokes this time.
Instead, we can look to Twitter and Leftists for the humor. Seems our favorite Socialist Socialite got her collectivist panties in a wad over a Twitter account parodying her. And as one might expect of someone dumber than a bag of hammers, the Socialist Socialite tweeted out a warning advising fans of the account. Because as we all know the best way to make a problem go away is to draw as much attention to it as humanly possible.
Needless to say, this didn’t work well. Which prompted fans of the Socialist Socialite to call for Twitter to ban the parody account, AOCpress. This gives us the perfect opening to discuss the wonders of parody.
parody
What the Left thinks it means – a potentially dangerous threat to valid communication between politicians and their constituents
What it really means – a way to mock the Left protected by the First Amendment
Our good friends at Dictionary.com provide a great definition of “parody” that will serve us nicely:
1. a humorous or satirical imitation of a serious piece of literature or writing: his hilarious parody of Hamlet’s soliloquy.
2. the genre of literary composition represented by such imitations.
3. a burlesque imitation of a musical composition.
4. any humorous, satirical, or burlesque imitation, as of a person, event, etc.
If you’re an observant reader, and I know you are, you’ll notice a pattern. If you’re not or a Leftist (which means you’re not observant by definition), the pattern is humor. Leftists love to tell us they’re funnier than conservatives, but yet they’re redefining humor to take the funny out of comedy and turn it into more of a monologue where the pseudo-comedian throws out Leftist talking points in lieu of jokes. But don’t worry. There are plenty of set-ups, chief of which being the audience being set up that they’ll be entertained, but there are a decided lack of straight men. Or women.
And as a side note, Dave Chappelle was right about Hannah Gadsby.
Anyway, the Left doesn’t have a mirth monopoly by any stretch. Granted, much of the humor they provide is unintentional (i.e. Puddin’ Head Joe and Kamala Harris going off script), but it’s humor nonetheless. Where the Right has the edge in humor is online, especially in the area of satire. With The Onion being as funny as its namesake these days, sites like The Babylon Bee and any number of Twitter handles have picked up the slack by…actually being funny. What a concept!
And a good amount of the time, it’s the Left getting skewered with the Right’s humor. Guess how that goes over with the Left.
As with other things that bug them and that they can’t control, Leftists moan more than a porn actress being paid by the orgasm. And where do they moan the most? On Twitter! After all, if you complain on Twitter about something and tag Elon Musk it actually does something important!
Guess how that turned out. And I’m guessing you’re seeing a pattern here.
See, Leftists hate being mocked, especially when it’s in the form of parody because it’s not just mocking them, but it’s mocking them directly.
Remember the young girl who did a parody of the Socialist Socialite? Well, she got death threats from Leftists. You know, the tolerate, loving, and totes free speech defending Left? (Yeah, I laughed hard when I typed that, too.)
That should tell you two things. First, Leftists take themselves way too seriously. And second, the jokes about their lack of a sense of humor are based in fact. Oh, and Leftists are shitty people when they get butthurt at being the butt of jokes. (See what I did there?)
But here’s the thing. Parody is protected under the First Amendment as free speech. And what’s even more delicious? It’s because of Larry Flynt, a loud and proud Leftist. (On a side note, how do Leftist feminists reconcile Flynt’s treatment and attitudes towards women with feminist ideology? Oh, right, they fucking ignore it.)
Of course, that doesn’t stop Leftists from making the case the AOCpress account should be removed because they claim it’s imitating the Socialist Socialist. Hoo boy. So much to unpack here, but let’s start with the easy one.
Twitter rules are quite clear on parody accounts being allowed so long as they clearly proclaim they are parody accounts. And Leftists should remember this, especially after many of them did Elon Musk parodies on their Twitter accounts.
In other words, it’s perfectly fine when they do it, but no one else can do it, especially to them.
Now, there’s the whole imitation angle. What AOCpress posts may look and sound like what the Socialist Socialite says, but at no time does the account owner say he/she is AOC. Just because it’s indistinguishable from what the Socialist Socialite really says doesn’t mean it’s someone trying to impersonate her. Although, it might be evidence the Twitter account wants to date her…
Now, for the best part of all of this. There are people getting fooled by the AOCpress account, even with the parody tag on it. How fucking stupid do you have to be to get fooled by a parody account that labels itself as parody? I know social media is a “Tweet first, ask questions later” environment, but fuck! You have to be a special kind of window licker to get fooled.
Which says a lot about the people who stan for the Socialist Socialist, doesn’t it?
The proper response to parody isn’t to try to get it removed from the marketplace of ideas, but rather to take it for what it is: an attempt at humor. You don’t have to get it for it to be a joke, and you don’t have to laugh for it to be protected. That’s why Dane Cook has never been arrested for doing his stand-up (although an argument could be made for him being arrested for impersonating a stand-up comedian, but that’s a blog post for another time). That means Leftists are going to have to put up with a lot more mocking from people, myself included.
And that’s going to piss off Leftists.
The AOCpress account exposes how thin-skinned Leftists can be, while at the same time showing how gullible and stupid they can be when they put their minds to it. Like it or not, though, parody is as valid a Socialist Socialite speech, only parody is intentionally funny.
Leftist Lexicon Word of the Week
To say the Left took the recent election results badly is an understatement of proportions so immense it makes Rosie O’Donnell look like Kate Moss on a meth binge. One of the more stunning results came from New Jersey, where Republican Edward Durr unseated Democrat state Senate President Steve Sweeney after running a primary campaign that cost around $150 and a total expenditure of around $2200. Talk about bang for the buck!
Well, the Left has decided Durr is unfit to serve in the public sector because of an answer he gave during an interview recently. When asked what he would do as Senate leader, he said he didn’t know. That got Leftist and self-professed expert Tom Nichols to lament about how the lack of experience in politics is a bad thing.
But what does the Left mean by experience? Good question, since I got nothing else for a Lexicon entry.
experience
What the Left thinks it means – the basic information necessary to speak intelligently on a topic
What it really means – the Left’s excuse for dumb people making poor decisions and to discredit smart people making astute observations
I know I’ve talked about appeals to authority before, but for the new people reading this, an appeal to authority is the rhetorical equivalent of “because an expert said so.” Although this does work with some subjects (i.e. talking to a cardiologist about heart issues), it doesn’t always bear good fruit (i.e. talking to a YouTube creator about, well, just about anything). Even people we think would have the credentials to give good advice can be wrong or deceiving. I’m looking right at you, Dr. Fauci. So, it’s important we show a reasonable amount of skepticism when we see someone appealing to authority.
Especially when that authority is derived from whether an expert has a college degree. The Left loves to deflect criticism of the Socialist Socialite’s dumb ideas about economics because she has an economics degree. I ran into this recently on Facebook when a Leftist posting on a thread by The Atlas Society mocked the Socialist Socialite’s lack of knowledge of economics. The meme they posted was of a tiny handbag with the caption “AOC carrying around everything she knows about economics.” Funny, yet accurate!
Ah, but a Leftist took exception to it by suggesting the Socialist Socialite was smarter than Ayn Rand on economics because the former had a degree in the subject and Rand didn’t. Never mind the fact Rand lived through what the Socialist Socialite thinks would make America great and realized it absolutely sucks, it was the degree that tipped the scale in the Leftist’s mind.
That’s when I dropped the metaphorical hammer and pointed out Ronald Reagan also had an economics degree.
The Left seem to be impressed with college degrees, mainly because they’re often the result of Leftist indoctrina…I mean teaching. But the degree itself is just a piece of paper signifying that the recipient has completed the necessary coursework to graduate and, thus, can start paying back the student loans they’ve amassed. Yes, nothing says you’re an adult like crippling debt! Between grade inflation and meaningless majors, the value of a college degree is quickly becoming as valuable as an expired K-Mart coupon without imparting the most important reason to go to college.
Partying.
Seriously, the most important reason to go to college is to develop the ability to process and apply knowledge. And that’s where the Left and to some extent the Right fail. If I have to sit through another video of clueless Congresscritters trying to get a representative from a social media executive to explain how Twitter works, I’m liable to send a tersely-worded email that some low level intern is going to have to respond to with a stock answer ensuring me my elected official “cares about your opinion.” And we don’t want that, do we?
Although there is some merit to the notion public officials should have experience in politics to hold office, sometimes it’s the experts who are the problem in the first place. But the Left never thinks Chuck Schumer, Nancy Pelosi, or Maxine Waters (who have all been in office for at least half of my life, by the way) are the problem. Instead, it’s people like Chuck Grassley, who has been in office for, well, most of my life, who are the real troublemakers. You see, the Left loves experience via age when it’s coming from a fellow Leftist. If it’s anyone else, it’s “Get out of the way of progress!” Yet, in my experience with the aforementioned politicians, I would take Grassley over Schumer, Pelosi, and Waters not because he’s one of my Senators. It’s because he knows what he’s doing most of the time, and he knows when he’s out of his depth.
That’s what real experience does for a person. It’s knowing what you know and what you don’t know. For all of the talk of Grassley being a “dumb farmer” (as a former Democrat Senate candidate said and later regretted after being stomped like a narc at a drug deal), he has a deeper understanding of issues that matter to people, not because he has a fancy degree on his resume, but because he actually does the legwork to talk to people. I swear he’s in Iowa more often than I am, and I live here!
However, a lack of experience isn’t a deal-breaker when it comes to politics. After working in Corporate America for a number of decades, sometimes the best ideas come from people who are just starting a job because their minds haven’t been infected with “the way we’ve always done it.” Either that or their souls haven’t been crushed…
Anyway, a new perspective may be what is needed to solve problems. By definition, a desire for change is liberal, but liberals aren’t the same as Leftists. Leftists call for change without actually meaning it. Remember Flint’s water problem? Still there, but Leftists aren’t. You’re more likely to find Bigfoot working on a screenplay at a Starbucks than find any of the Leftists who trumpeted how Flint’s water problems are because of Republicans (if you discount all the Democrats who were and are in charge, of course.) Here’s an idea, Flintites. Next time there’s an election, why not…you know…vote for someone other than the Leftists who screwed up the city in the first place? It’s not like Republicans are going to make the water any worse, right?
To Nichols’ point (aside from the one on his head), dismissing someone because of a lack of experience only serves to maintain the status quo, which by definition is what a conservative wants. He does have a good point that the Right doesn’t tend to support new left-leaning officials, but he botched the reasons why. First off, Leftists do the same thing with new right-leaning officials like Lauren Boebert and Marjorie Taylor Greene, albeit with more claims they’re insane. (In the spirit of bipartisanship, I’m willing to concede the point about MTG.) Second, it’s not a lack of experience the Right objects to with the Socialist Socialite; it’s the fact she’s an empty pant-suit, as demonstrated throughout her tenure as a Representative. I wouldn’t trust her to run my car though a car wash, let alone run any significant office in America. And if you’ve tried to run an office through a car wash, you know what I mean.
While Edward Durr may not have any real experience in governing, he’s admitted he’s willing to learn the ropes. That bit of refreshing honesty makes me a fan of his and I look forward to seeing what he’s able to do.
That, and the fact the only reason he ran for office is because of government bureaucracy and duplicity around New Jersey’s concealed carry permits. Thanks Leftists!
Leftist Lexicon Word of the Week
As I’ve noted a few times in these missives, the Left doesn’t do long-term thinking, or thinking in general to be fair. Since Democrats took control of the Senate back in 2020, the Left has been drooling over the potential policy gains they could make. But there was a problem, or more accurately, two problems named Joe Manchin and Kyrsten Sinema. Both identify as Democrats, but aren’t necessarily on the Leftist bandwagon. Which means, Leftists hate them.
Manchin and Sinema have been on the lips of many Leftist vipers, including our favorite Socialist Socialite most recently decrying how things would be so much better if they would just put party above country and vote the way they’re supposed to. (I’m paraphrasing, but that’s the general gist of the Socialist Socialite’s tweets.)
Normally, internal struggles within the Democrats brings a smile to my face, except when it makes the Left mad. Then, I laugh a lot. Either way, it’s time we look at the two Senators responsible for so many Leftist breakdowns.
Joe Manchin and Krysten Sinema
What the Left thinks it means – Two Democrat Senators who prevent any and all progress from being made
What it really means – Two Democrat Senators who understand the role of the Senate better than the Leftists
Back in the day, the Founding Fathers envisioned a two-body legislative branch: the House, which would be responsible for listening to the people and proposing legislation, and the Senate, which would be responsible for thinking through the logistics of what the House sent them. Today, neither body is particularly interested in listening to the people and the hardest thing most Senators deliberate about is their belly button lint. Just be glad Jerrold Nadler isn’t a Senator, kids.
When it comes to Manchin, he’s garnered the ire of the Left for years because he’s an exception to the rule. I may not always agree with his decisions, but it’s clear he doesn’t just think about what his party wants. He actually thinks about what the voters in his state want. That bastard!
Then, there’s Sinema. On paper, she’s a Leftist’s wet dream. She’s attractive, bisexual, and was able to beat a Republican to win her seat. She’s practically Katie Hill, but without a thing for staffers. I think you see where this is going, but I love to say it. Eventually her star in Leftist circles dropped when she decided to vote the way her constituents wanted instead of how the Left wanted her to vote.
The reason for the Left’s dismay is the same in both cases: they feel entitled to Manchin and Sinema’s votes because of their party affiliation. Granted, the Right has the same problem, but they aren’t as butthurt as the Left are. To wit, there aren’t any Republicans trying to force Lisa Murkowski to vote a certain way through insults, invectives, and appeals to popularity, but there are a lot of Leftists who keep bringing up how Senate Democrats need to either pressure Manchin and Sinema to vote “the right way” or strip them of their committee assignments.
Yeah, I’m gonna go out on a limb here and say the Left’s approach isn’t going to work because…how can I put this delicately…pissing off the people you’re trying to persuade doesn’t end well.
Of the two, I think Manchin has an easier road because he’s established himself in his home state of West Virginia, which means better name recognition. Combine that with the fact West Virginian Democrats tend to be more purple than blue (which Manchin understands far better than the Leftists suggesting he should be primaried), and he could fall into a coma and still win reelection. (Not that I want that to happen, mind you.)
Sinema, on the other hand, hasn’t been in office that long, so she will see far more pressure from constituents in a bluer Arizona. If current polling is accurate (and even that has to be taken with a lake of salt), Democrats see her unfavorably, lagging behind fellow Senator Mark Kelly and President Joe Biden. That may have been before Biden’s recent Afghanistan debacle, though. Either way, she does have an ace up her sleeve: non-Democrat voters. There is a segment of the population who think the Left go too far and look for people who buck the party or try to put the brakes on their agenda. Sinema checks those boxes and looks sympathetic, especially when she’s being attacked constantly by Leftists. Whether that will be enough to overcome the Leftist exodus from her corner will be seen soon enough.
The impact of Manchin and Sinema’s reluctance to join the Left on matters ranging from eliminating the filibuster to statehood for the District of Columbia cannot be overstated. With the Senate so close to the political tipping point, Democrats need every vote they can get, including those from more Left-leaning Republicans, to advance their agenda. The more Democrats break away from the leadership, the harder it gets for Democrats to get anything done. Even with Kamala Harris as the appropriately-yet-ironically-worded trump card in a 50-50 tie, Senate Democrats need to be able to get to 50 votes to force the issue. Let’s just say it gets harder to get to 50 when you keep lambasting two of the Senators necessary to pass what you want.
The Left also overlooks two other Senators who tend to vote with the Democrats, Independents Bernie “Five House Socialist” Sanders and Angus “Burger” King. These two could be under the microscope next, provided they decide to actually be independent. Fortunately for the Left, Sanders and King tend to roll over like a dog wanting belly scritchies, so the Left doesn’t attack them much. If Manchin and Sinema would do the same, the Left wouldn’t have a reason to attack them.
But I don’t think that’s in their character. They have strong beliefs and, dare I say it, character, which make the Leftists attacking them look petty by comparison. (Of course, they are petty, but that’s beside the point.) For the self-professed party of inclusion to be so exclusionary when it comes to ideological matters draws the curtain back so we can see what’s motivating the Left to attack Joe Manchin and Krysten Sinema: lust for power.
Either that or they’re just assholes.
Leftist Lexicon Word of the Week
I had a piece already written about a lighter subject, but recent events out of Minnesota changed the best-laid plans of mice and bloggers.
When four members of the Minneapolis Police Department detained and eventually killed George Floyd for attempting to pass counterfeit money, it started off a chain of events resulting in property being destroyed, people being injured, and general discord around the world. And, as you might expect, politics got injected into the situation early and often.
Enter Representative Ilhan Omar and the other members of “The Squad.” The Minnesota Congresswoman took to Twitter to help promote donations to ActBlue.com, a Leftist website, under the auspices of racial justice. What is that? I’m glad you asked, otherwise I’m out a topic for the Lexicon.
racial justice
What the Left thinks it means – getting justice for disenfranchised people of color
What it really means – tilting the scales of justice to favor people of color at the expense of actual justice
There is a reason statues of Lady Justice wear a blindfold; justice is supposed to be blind. Unfortunately, it hasn’t been when it comes to police officers and black criminals. In the former case, sentences tend to be on the light side, while in the latter case, those sentences are harsher. And it’s been going on for far too long.
Hence, the Left’s renewed call for racial justice. This is another term the Left devised that combines a powerful word that appeals to most Americans (justice) and adds a politically-charged modifier (racial) designed to advance an agenda. In this case, the goal is to take any negative feelings about racism and apply it to the judicial system to allow blacks and other minorities a chance to experience what the Left thinks/knows whites have enjoyed for so long.
The scary part is the Left has a point. Blacks and whites do not have equal justice in America, no matter how hard we try to ignore it. And before you start throwing out statistics about what percentage of blacks commit what percentage of crimes, the fact it took days to arrest the officer who choked George Floyd and at least contributed to his death shows how screwed up our justice system is.
Having said that, the Left’s solution isn’t to fix the problems, but screw them up even more by using race as even more of a factor than it already is. Of course, that’s by design. One of the cornerstones of Leftist ideology is to undermine the American legal system and institute a global legal system, an idea most American Presidents have rejected. But, the Left doesn’t give up that easily and has made progress towards their goals. The very fact we have four Representatives on record advocating for racial justice in an attempt to raise funds is proof of how emboldened they feel right now.
By adding race into a court proceeding, it guarantees the results will not be just because it prevents the jury from doing its sworn job. It’s not to try to figure out what race deserves what punishment; it’s to determine guilt or innocence based on the law and the arguments presented by the attorneys involved. Any thought outside of those two elements muddies the waters, making actual justice harder to obtain.
Granted, I’m a white guy and have undoubtedly received preferential treatment because of it, even though I don’t want it. We are supposed to be equal under the law, so I prefer to be treated equally. No, that doesn’t mean I want to be treated as poorly as blacks have. It means I want blacks to be on an even playing field with me. Racial justice doesn’t strive to do that. Instead, it strives to make race a major factor in determining whether I go free if I’m found not guilty or punished more severely if I’m found guilty.
In trying to bring racial justice to fruition, the Left has made justice racist. Good job, I guess?
Meanwhile, we should not be scared to point out the disparities between how blacks and whites are treated. It doesn’t start with looting, violence, and vandalism. It’s starts with a conversation so we can learn from each other and build a stronger relationship as a result. And, yes, that means we white folk are going to have to be willing to listen and accept how blacks have been treated overall, but it will lead to a much greater result, one that will make The Squad’s call for racial justice obsolete.