There are times when both the Left and the Right get something so completely fucking wrong that I have to call it out. And this is one of those times.
Since the NFL season began, there has been a lot of talk about Taylor Swift, mainly because she’s currently dating potential future song inspiration Travis Kelce of the Kansas City Chiefs. This has garnered a lot of emotions on both sides of the political aisle and for a lot of different reasons.
And if there wasn’t, I wouldn’t have a topic for this week’s Lexicon.
Taylor Swift
What the Left thinks it means – a strong successful woman who scares conservative and Republican football fans
What the Right thinks it means – a nuisance who has ruined the NFL this year and may impact the 2024 election
What it really means – she’s a fucking performer
Sorry to bring the heat so early into this one, but it’s the central point that both sides continue to ignore.
A lot of the heat from the Right when it comes to Taylor Swift is based on how popular she is with both young women and wine moms. These are two demographics that the Right have pissed off in recent months with abortion “bans” (i.e. following the 10th Amendment instead of a fundamentally flawed and politically motivated Supreme Court decision) and…well, that’s pretty much it. Beyond that, there are a few traits both groups exhibit.
Namely, they’re dumbasses who are easily manipulated by Leftists.
Oh, and they hang on everything Taylor Swift does. That point isn’t lost on Leftists, mind you. In fact, they’re banking on it to get women to the polls since Puddin’ Head Joe and Kamala “I Make the President Look Articulate” Harris are about as popular as PETA at a steakhouse. For Leftists who want to keep Puddin’ Head Joe in office…oh, who am I kidding, they want to keep Donald Trump out of office more than they want Puddin’ Head Joe in office, they need to energize as many voters as possible.
Hence, their professed love of Taylor Swift and how she “scares” Republicans and conservatives. And like the Kansas City Chiefs on a short yardage scenario, they are fucking running with this narrative. Facebook, Twitter, and social media in general are filled with this idea that somehow a pretty blonde white woman frightens big bad MAGA folks.
And yet these same Leftists say MAGA is full of white supremacists…who would presumably be in favor of pretty blonde white women…
Fuck it, it doesn’t make sense.
That brings us to the other side of the equation. The Right has built up this outrage over Taylor Swift because she tends to lean to the Left. And given how Swifties follow her like hippies followed the Grateful Dead, the Right is scared of the political sway she has or may have if the Swifties all registered and voted. Plus, there are rumors Swift is going to endorse Puddin’ Head Joe at the Super Bowl, which will mean…not a lot, but it will piss off conservative and Republican football fans.
See, the problem the Right has in their hyperventilation over Taylor Swift is in whether Swifties will turn into voters. Although one Instagram post urging her followers to register to vote garnered over 35,000 new registrations, that is out of…272 million followers as of the date of that post. That’s a whopping 0.00012868% of her followers, kids! I don’t even have an Instagram, but if I did and got the one follower I would presumably have to register to vote, I would outperform Taylor Swift. Also, I bet I could beat her in a chicken wing eating contest, so there’s that.
The point is I like chicken wings, and I can do math. Republicans and conservatives worrying about Swifties rushing out to vote for Puddin’ Head Joe because she says something at the Super Bowl are overestimating the return on investment, for lack of a better term. Yes, she’s influential, but does she move the 2024 needle that much? Probably not, mainly because it would require a sustained effort on Swift’s part to turn her fans into Puddin’ Head Joe fans. And she has shit to do, like write another 14 songs about ex-boyfriends for her next album!
At the end of the day, Taylor Swift only has the power we give her. If we think she’s a potential ally, she’s an ally. If we think she’s a roadblock, she’s a roadblock. If we think she’s a turkey and Swiss on rye with a bit of spicy brown mustard…well, she wouldn’t be, but the point remains. Once we understand the give-and-take of this situation, we can decide how to react.
As for me? I just don’t fucking care.
Taylor Swift is an adult and, as such, she can date who she wants, believe what she wants, and vote for who she wants, as long as all of those actions are done within the confines of the law. If she votes 243 times for Puddin’ Head Joe, though, then she’s fair game for consequences and, quite possibly, a referral to a mental facility. Until then, we owe her the same basic respect we give to a complete stranger: not to stick our noses into his or her business.
Of course, this point will get lost on the extremes of the Taylor Swift kerfuffle because it’s more fun to be pissed off over insignificant bullshit. That’s become our national past time. Screw baseball and football! It’s outrage, baby! If outrage were an Olympic event, we would win the gold, silver, and bronze medals, although the silver and bronze medalists would ask to speak to the Olympics’ manager.
But here’s the thing. You control your outrage, and Taylor Swift doesn’t. Pick your battles better and don’t get swept up in the argle-bargle du jour. In the grand scheme of things, she doesn’t care you don’t like her, nor should you care that she doesn’t care. Fandoms come and go, and the Swifties, too, shall pass.
Just ask anyone from Dexys Midnight Runners.
