Leftist Lexicon Word of the Week

After every election, political leaders, pundits, and squawking heads try to figure out why the two major parties performed the way they did. Leftists, in their infinite (lack of) wisdom, came down hard against one factor they feel helped Republicans retake the House of Representatives: redistricting.

Oh, they still talk about gerrymandering (and still get it wrong when they do), but this time they’re really drilling down on the fact Republican Governors like Ron DeSantis got favorable results from redistricting, i.e. Democrats going down like the New York Yankees in this year’s Major League Baseball postseason. But unlike Leftists, the Bronx Bombers can’t blame DeSantis for a poor performance. Then again, it might just work…

In either case, the Left is trying to get us to believe redistricting has negative connotations, so naturally it’s up to us to uncover real reason Leftists hate redistricting all of the sudden.

redistricting

What the Left thinks it means – a tactic used by Republicans to draw favorable Congressional Districts so more of their candidates win

What it means – a process that is not only legal, but done by both major parties so more of their respective candidates win

Every 10 years, the US government conducts a census, which helps give it a better idea of demographic trends in certain areas. This information gets parlayed into a number of other decisions, including how to draw Congressional Districts. As population surges and ebbs, the shape of each District can change depending on who gets to determine how each District gets to be drawn. Although it varies from state-to-state, the majority of states allow the party in power at the state level to draw the Districts, and it’s supposed to be done in a non-partisan manner.

Yeah, and I have some cryptocurrency in FTX that’s worth billions.

Instead of drawing logical and appropriate Districts, politicians tend to draw them like a drunk Lindsay Lohan with an Etch-A-Sketch. (For you Leftists out there reading this, the link I just posted provides examples of actual gerrymandering, so you can finally figure out what it means. You’re welcome.) And when the party in power controls how the sausage gets made, the Congressional Districts are going to look like a fever-dream combination of Salvador Dali, M.C. Escher, and Pablo Picasso after an LSD bender with Jim Morrison.

Or in simpler terms, like the hosts on “The View” but more logical.

Because of the way most states handle redistricting, control of state legislatures and gubernatorial positions becomes essential. Although the 2022 elections brought the gubernatorial numbers close to even, Republicans still control the majority of state legislatures. In other words, Republicans still have the power to draw districts or Democrats flip more states, whichever comes first before the next census in 2030.

If trends continue, that means 8 more years of Leftist seething over Republicans having any control over elections whatsoever. Provided our good friend Uncle George Soros doesn’t decide to pull more shenanigans to rig who counts the votes, of course…

Thus, we’ve arrived at the real reason why Leftists hate redistricting all of the sudden. Even in the states where they have the ability to affect change, they lack the control in the entire country to enact their ideological goals. And it means they have to deal with…REPUBLICANS IN CONGRESS! The horror!

Why, it’s almost as if…Leftists don’t want people to be in control of who they elect…unless it’s one of their approved candidates! But I’m sure that’s not true. Only a bunch of emotionally stunted insecure adult-babies would think that way, right?

So, how do we address the problem of drawing Congressional Districts the shape of Olive Oyl with a bad case of scoliosis? Some states have non-partisan committees that meet to agree upon redistricting, and some states even allow the committee’s recommendations to be vetoed. Simple, easy, and fair, right? In theory, yes, but when politics gets involved, the practice may not always follow the theory.

Let’s take one of the hot spots from the midterms, Arizona. Under the state guidelines, there are 25 seats available, with 10 going to Democrats, 10 to Republicans, and 5 to unaffiliated citizens. If the 20 politically-affiliated members are deadlocked, logic would suggest all decisions would come down to which side persuaded the 5 unaffiliated members.

That would work…except the GOP tends not to be so monolithic in approach. Yes, the state that gave us conservative stalwart J. D. Hayworth also gave us John McCain, which means the Arizona GOP can have more identities than Sybil. That tends to work in favor of Democrats, whose hivemind approach makes ganging up…I mean carefully considering the drawing of district boundaries a lot easier on them.

Even if you’re not sold on the partisanship angle, here is the most recent finalized redistricting map the commission put together. If this is the best a crack team of officials can come up with, maybe we should assume they’re all on crack and move on from there.

Having said that, I’m not completely down on the idea of the non-partisan committee drawing up Congressional Districts. I just think the idea needs to be tweaked a bit. For example, do we really need 25 people to make a decision like this? Fuck no! Pick one person at random from the active and eligible voting base in each District, or in the cases of states that only have one District, 3 to 5. Since it’s random, the political fuckery will be lessened.

From there, each member has to review the existing map and be able to speak to why it is the way it is. The more these members learn about the districts, the more likely they’re going to find out where the bullshit is. After a certain amount of time (say, a week), they convene to discuss what they’ve found and how to redraw the Districts if needed. When there are disputes arising from practical concerns, the committee as a whole votes on it with majority rule. In case of a tie (because this is going to happen), the Districts in question stay the way they are.

In the case of ideological concerns causing redistricting trouble, though, those will automatically be non-starters. We’re trying to draw Congressional Districts, not play a live action game of Risk here.

I will admit there are bound to be flaws in my idea (and I’m sure people will let me know how much of a dumbass I am for even thinking up the idea), but compared to what we have now, it’s bound to be better.





Author: Thomas

I'm a writer and a ranger and a young boy bearing arms. And two out of the three don't count.

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