In case you haven’t heard, the House career of New York Representative George Santos came to an end recently. Yes, a man who dressed in drag, claimed to be Jewish and tried to explain it away by saying he was Jew-ish, and being a Leftist target for lying to voters (which would be a boon for Leftist politicians) was expelled by the House for…ethics violations.
Yeah. I laughed a lot when I heard that, too.
Anyway, Santos is out of a job and will need to rehabilitate his image. And me, being the equal opportunity helper that I am, I think I have just the thing to do just that.
Let’s start with the basics. George Santos is damaged goods. He’s been caught in a number of questionable situations with varying legal implications. He’s done some sketchy things with finances and broken the law doing it. In short, he’s more radioactive than Chernobyl.
So, what makes me think I can fix his image? Because I’m just stupid enough to try, dammit! And because there’s an obvious solution that will clear everything up and make Santos untouchable in Leftist circles.
All George Santos needs to do is say he self-identifies as Hunter Biden.
Think about it! The First Crackhead has all the sympathy from the Left, and they will circle the wagons at the first sign of criticism. After all, he’s a private citizen…who just happened to use his dad’s name and connections to get jobs an untrained chimp would be more qualified for than he was. You know, just like you and me!
Well, George Santos is in the same boat. He’s a complete scumbag (without ever trying to buy a dime bag) who is utterly irredeemable. No one would trust him to run the fryer at the local McDonalds, let alone anything above that pay grade. But qualifications don’t mean a damn thing if you’re connected to the Bidens! I mean, look at the patriarch!
Plus, there’s the added bonus of holding the Left to their bizarre mindset regarding personal identities. I mean, if a 6’6″ former linebacker wants to be called Loretta, the Left says we have to accept it. So, if George Santos says he identifies as Hunter Biden, the Left won’t have a leg to stand on (not that they usually do, mind you, but work with me here).
And the best part about it? Santos will get all the Leftists defending him without him having to commit the crimes Hunter has! He may still have to atone for the crimes he committed, but he can apply Leftist logic (a contradiction in terms) to the situation and the Left will have to defend him or be exposed as hypocritical idiots.
I’m pretty sure the Left will choose the latter option, but I can dream, right?
