Being a Leftist in the second Donald Trump Presidency has to be rough. Not only do you have to deal with knowing the man you’ve tried to sue into oblivion is in the White House again, but you’re whiny pussies on top of it. Because or in spite of this, Leftists have taken up the mantle of being “the resistance,” which gives them a source of inspiration to do things.
Like vandalizing Tesla vehicles.
And with a cable news network giving these actions a resistance tag, it’s bound to empower more Leftists to resist.
On the bright side, it gives me a opportunity to mock them!
resistance
What the Left thinks it means – standing up to the fascist/authoritarian Trump Administration and conservatives
What it really means – Leftist pussies cosplaying as badasses
Back in the heady days of 2017, Leftists were coming off a stunning upset after Trump beat former First Lady, Secretary of State, and general horndog enabler Hillary Clinton. As any mature adult would do, they looked back at the loss, recalibrated their strategy, and came back with a new approach to winning elections.
I’m kidding. They started pretending to be fictional characters.
Whether it was invoking the Rebel Alliance from “Star Wars” or Lord Voldemort from the Harry Potter books (before they decided J. K. Rowling was too toxic for…checking my notes…standing up for biological women against transgender women), the Left went into full-blown delulu mode. This served a few purposes, not the least of which was making themselves into the heroes and, by extension, their actions righteous. This made even their most egregious actions justifiable in their eyes since the “evil” they were fighting against was worse.
Ah, moral relativism. Ain’t it great?
Empowered by their self-righteous indignation, the Left was able to parlay that into action, namely riots…I mean protests. Whether it was the George Floyd protests, Black Lives Matter, or taking over a section of Seattle and setting up an autonomous zone (CHOP/CHAZ for the people playing along at home), Leftists were able to grab attention and headlines.
Oh, and a few criminal charges. You know, for being dumbasses.
With the second Trump Presidency underway, the “resistance” has gone back to their old habits and become assholes again. When they aren’t going after Tesla vehicles (and the people inside them), they’re organizing protests in each state and boycotts. Because nothing sticks it to The Man like…gathering in public areas with signs and not shopping.
Don’t look at me. It doesn’t make any sense to me either.
And that’s pretty much the problem with the resistance we’re seeing these days. The closer you look at it, the less sense it makes. Sure, there are some causes like trans rights, immigration, and whatever the fuck Representative Jasmine Crockett says on any given day, but most of it is a patchwork of smaller causes coming together to fight fascism, authoritarianism, or whatever the fuck Representative Jasmine Crockett says on any given day.
And speaking of faux edgelords, another way the resistance is making itself known is through politicians using vulgarity. Granted, I don’t have a leg to stand on here because I can swear like a sailor with Tourettes sometimes, but then again I’m not Chuck Schumer or Elizabeth “Chief Running Mouth” Warren. Namely, old people. Watching Schumer and Warren do their watered down impression of Andrew Dice Clay while talking about political issues isn’t edgy; it’s cringy as fuck.
And if you’re watching Chuck and Liz, you’re not Betty White. She could pull off being vulgar at an advanced age. You can’t. You’re as edgy as a Nerf ball when you swear just to be swearing.
In other words, keep it up, you two! You’re doing great!
While I’m waiting for Bernie Sanders to break out an f-bomb during a speech, I can see where the resistance is headed: to the same junkyard Occupy Wall Street wound up. Although we still remember the name, they didn’t accomplish anything. I mean, aside from proving Leftists could fuck up a one-step instruction manual when left to their own devices.
The only thing that gives me pause is how violent the Left can get when pushed. Granted, you can push most Leftists pretty far by merely existing, but most of the time they won’t try to fight back. That is, unless they have the advantage. Just ask Kyle Rittenhouse. Even then, they are at a distinct disadvantage because they vastly overestimate their ability to avoid retaliation. The thing about engaging in violent behavior is there is always a chance for the other party to engage in violence right back. Just ask Moldylocks.
And as much as I would like to say Leftists know how to fight, let’s just say they make Pee Wee Herman look like Chuck Norris. And I mean right now, not when the former was…enjoying an adult movie a little too much. Maybe some of the trans women can teach the Left how to fight, provided you use their proper pronouns or else things could get messy.
Just remember, kids, trans women are women. Just bigger, stronger, taller, and overall more masculine women.
There is one constant with any type of Leftist resistance: the Right will always be on the hook for violence. No matter how much blood gets spilled from Leftist attacks, how much intimidation Leftists inflict on others, or how much property gets damaged as a result of one of their temper tantrums, the Right will always be seen as the ones who are most likely to commit violent acts. In fact, Representative Maxine Waters even said Trump wants a civil war to break out.
This is after Leftists vowed to get more aggressive in opposing Trump’s plans. Oh, and the number of Leftists who wanted Trump dead in one form or another.
You sure it’s the Right that’s getting violent? Because I would think you would know, considering the Right has more guns.
In the end, there are very few Leftists who are actual badasses. Seriously, if you can make a Leftist run for a safe space by eating Chik-fil-A in front of them, he/she/it poses no real threat to life and limb. Some “resistance.”
Having said that, the best advice I can give you is to be aware of your surroundings and the situation. Leftists will do anything in their power to get you to react badly to what they say or do. They want you to throw a punch or shove them because then they can claim to be the victims. And as long as there’s at least one more Leftist to corroborate the story, you will be the villain. Don’t give them that satisfaction. Don’t go looking for trouble.
If you must engage, keep a cool head about you. The worst thing you can do to a Leftist who wants to start shit is to not even acknowledge it. Shrug it off and go on with your day. If you want to take your chances, try the Thomas Two-Step Program for Dealing With Leftists.
Step 1: Point
Step 2: Laugh
Do not attempt to do this if you are mobbed by Leftists or the Leftist in question is bigger than you are because physical harm may come to you. If you need to, bring a hoss of a man with you to be your second. That way you’ll not only have some muscle to protect you if the Leftists want to start shit, but also have a witness to counteract the Leftists’ victim narrative.
Plus, you’ll have one other person who can also point and laugh, so triple bonus!
In the end, though, the current Leftist resistance is as dangerous as walking through a Leftist’s gated community with a “Coexist” t-shirt on. At least until they call security on you for trespassing in their neighborhood, but you get the point. And just like the resistances before them, the current one will end up with a lot of assmad Leftists, a lot of side-splitting laughter from the Right, and nothing actually getting done.
Fine by me!
Tag: elon musk
Leftist Lexicon Word of the Week – Special Edition
Yep. You’re getting two Leftist Lexicon entries this week. You’re welcome. Or I’m sorry. You know, whichever.
If you’ve been paying attention lately (and if you have, I’m sorry), there’s been a bit of an uptick in protests lately. And in some cases, these protests have resulted in property damage, particularly to Tesla owners, dealerships, and even charging stations. Good thing Leftists haven’t made electric vehicles a major part of their future endeavors…oh, wait.
Anyway, there’s a name that’s been bandied about as being behind these temper-tantrums…I mean protests, and that name is ActBlue. Anyone who’s followed politics in recent years has probably heard of them in one fashion or another But are they getting into funding protests, if they haven’t been involved previously? Let’s find out. Time to break out your SCUBA gear so we can do a deep dive.
And don’t worry. Your diving suit doesn’t make you look fat.
ActBlue
What the Left thinks it means – a valuable PAC that supports Democrat policies and politicians
What it really means – another way for Leftists to fuck up the country
Aside from being a pain in the ass, ActBlue is a non-profit organization that is a hybrid of PACs, which allows it to make payments to individual candidates’ committees as well as independent expenditures. Our good friends at OpenSecrets give a better description in their glossary under “Carey Committee.” To put it mildly, it’s basically playing both sides of the game because the rules surrounding PACs are fucking stupid.
Anyway, ActBlue’s purpose is to help Leftists raise money for causes or candidates they like. Of course, they’re not affiliated with any specific candidate due to the aforementioned PAC rules, but given their giving seems to be particularly one-sided, it’s a sure bet they aren’t going to be throwing money to anyone to the right of the Socialist Socialite.
In and of itself, that’s not a reason to rag on ActBlue. You can swing a dead cat in Washington, DC, and hit at least a dozen people either getting PAC money or lobbying on behalf of a PAC who wants to give their money to a candidate or cause. Of course, you might want to check DC laws about swinging dead cats before you try it. Under advice from my lawyers, that’s all I’m allowed to say at the moment.
This is where the other part of the PAC Frankenstein monster comes into play. Although they can’t endorse a candidate, they can still advocate for different causes. You know, like posting bail for George Floyd protestors in Minnesota. You remember the George Floyd protests, right? All the looting, fires, and general mayhem. I know Gwen Walz has fond memories of that time, but most of the rest of us aren’t fucking insane. Because the funding was for a cause, ActBlue was able to skirt any legal issues, or if they weren’t nobody bothered to bring them up on charges.
That is until recently. ActBlue has found itself in the metaphorical crosshairs (in Minecraft) of Republicans due to some minor little hiccups with their credit card donations. You know, a minor little thing like accepting donations without proper verification, which could open the door to fraud, accepting foreign donations for American elections, and…I shudder to think of it…funding another Nickelback album.
To my Canadian readers, replace “Nickelback” with “Lizzo.”
This concern was shared by others outside of Republican circles because of the implications, so it wasn’t just a conservative talking point. But the fact this fundraising organization would let such a huge security risk go by without so much as a sideways glance would raise some red (or in this case blue) flags.
Then, there’s the whole bail thing, I referenced earlier.
Recently, ActBlue has been in the news for not the best of reasons. For example, several senior executives resigned in the span of a couple of weeks, throwing the organization into turmoil. In fact, that’s exactly how the New York Times termed it, and if they’re calling it out, you know it’s gotta be a complete flaming shitshow! And there’s nothing that instills more confidence that an organization is to have a lot of long-time and high profile figures disappear in a cartoon cloud of dust.
Now, ActBlue and it’s charity arm are being accused of funding organizations linked to terror groups and I’m not talking about “The Squad.” With the aforementioned security issues, ActBlue has a major headache on its hands.
And now ActBlue is being implicated in a recent rash of attacks on Tesla products. Elon Musk alleged five ActBlue funded groups are responsible for these attacks, resulting in vandalism and property damage. So far, it’s just an accusation at this point, so for legal purposes I can’t say they’re guilty and should be prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law to the point it would make the lawfare waged against Donald Trump look like traffic court.
Did I say that out loud? Sorry. Please don’t sue me.
As much as I enjoy watching ActBlue get the kabob treatment, a lot of the damage has already been done. By using the law to their advantage and skirting security measures, it has been a Leftist fundraising juggernaut, helping to advance causes and politicians that hurt this country. So, good job, kids!
To be fair, ActBlue is doing what other PACs are doing or may be doing, which is damnation enough as it is. Personally, I don’t care if you’re raising money for Leftist causes or Rightist causes because 1) it’s their rights as Americans, and 2) I’m not donating to them because 3) I’m too damn poor. Where I draw the line is when you’re dealing in shady shit to accomplish your goals. And from the research I’ve done, I get a pretty good feeling ActBlue is shadier than an albino’s favorite outdoor spot.
Yet, the existence of ActBlue calls into question the Left’s calls to curtail “dark money” and big money in general in politics. ActBlue has raised billions of dollars for Leftist causes, so they have a vested interest in keeping them around. On the other hand, Leftists like Bernie Sanders and Elizabeth “Chief Running Mouth” Warren brag about how they’re funded by the “little guy,” not the big money donors. (Unless you count Big Pharma, of course.) So, which is it? Do you want to get the money out of politics or do you want to continue with the way things are?
My money is on a third option: allowing money in politics, but only for Leftists.
Regardless, ActBlue has been effective, but may be done in by sloppy security measures. If so, it will be replaced by something or someone else so the cash can keep flowing because that’s the way the grift continues. Kinda depressing when you think about it.
So, do what I do: point and laugh!
Leftist Lexicion Word of the Week
Yep, we’re back talking about the 2024 Election again.
Since Donald Trump became the 47th President, the Left has been trying to figure out what went wrong. I have a thought: don’t run Hillary Clinton with a tan on a shitty platform focused on abortion rather than the cost of groceries. And as simple as that is to understand, the Left are still trying to figure out a way to right the DNC Titanic.
One idea that caught on was finding left-wing versions of Joe Rogan and Elon Musk. Spoiler Alert: you had them. They were called Joe Rogan and Elon Musk. But instead of taking a step back and realize running on bat-shit insane policies, they’re trying to find a way to reach out to white men.
Enter Dean Withers, affectionately called “the Bro Whisperer.”
Hoo boy. This one’s gonna sting, kids.
the Bro Whisperer
What the Left thinks it means – a way for the Left to reach out to young men to persuade them to vote Democrat
What it really means – proof positive the Left still doesn’t know what the fuck they’re doing
Leftists have had a pretty significant footprint (carbon or otherwise) in the mainstream media. Most major newspapers, the three networks, PBS, and some online spaces such as Facebook and YouTube. Even the Social Media Network Formerly Known As Twitter had the loving and diverse jackboot of the Left on its throat for a long time.
But as anyone who is even vaguely familiar with the rise of talk radio can tell you, that only meant the Right had to create their own niche in the market. So, they did. Whether it was Rush Limbaugh, Fox News, or Truth Social, the Right found a way to take the good parts of what the Left shit on, clean them off, and make them work.
Unfortunately for the Left, they’re not so successful in reversing the political polarity and being successful. And this whole “Bro Whisperer” thing is bound to tank more than Michael Dukakis in a tank.
First off, the concept is utterly demeaning to anyone with an IQ above Kate Moss’s waist size. Which is why the Left thinks it’s a great idea, by the way. As much as the Left loves to push back against negative gender stereotypes when it comes to women (and, more recently, men who claim to be women but have a five o’clock shadow that would make Bigfoot look like Dr. Evil), they’re resorting to the characterization of potential young male voters as early 90s-era frat boys. Instead of doing some introspection and working on an actual message, turn them all into “bros.”
Fucking brilliant.
Of course, this runs counter to the way the Left has seen men in recent decades. Potential rapists, gun nuts, control freaks, hyper-macho gym bros, colonists, misogynists, homophobes, intellectually and emotionally stunted, and the hits keep coming. And those are the names they use if they like you!
Seriously, though, the Left has been pounding the drums that men suck for a while now. Even now, the big brains on the Left blame men for Queen Kamala the Appointed’s election loss, but this time it’s men of all colors, not just whites, who get the blame. Apparently, men are afraid of strong women leaders, but the Left hasn’t presented any to us aside from Tulsi Gabbard. Most of the time, the Left’s idea of a strong woman is weaker than the drinks at a fourth-rate strip club.
Not that I know anything about that, mind you…
Let me help you Leftists with an important concept that will come in handy sooner or later: not everything you think can be boiled down to sexism is actually sexism. Unless you’re taking the same drugs Joy Reid is, Harris ran a horrible campaign and wasted a shit-ton of money in the process. She didn’t really make much of an appeal to men, instead focusing on abortion (which Leftists keep telling us “no vagina, no say” so men would be further excluded from the conversation). And aside from doing a horrible fucking job on tasks President Brick Tamland gave her, she could list the number of successes she’s had on the one hand of the world’s unluckiest woodworker. It’s the lack of outreach on her campaign’s part that cost her the male vote.
Say what you will about Trump, he at least appealed to potential voters from all walks of life. That’s what drew in voters and political and social figures like the aforementioned Rogan and Musk. He didn’t talk down to them. He didn’t throw them out of the movement if they dared to consider the Right might not be the second coming of Hitler. Now that Queen Kamala the Appointed got stomped like a vat of grapes in an “I Love Lucy” episode, some on the Left are now willing to listen.
Hence, the “Bro Whisperer” bullshit.
But remember what I said earlier about the Left not exactly being successful in adopting ideas of the Right? Yeah, this is another one of them. On the bright side, though, it gives us an opportunity to remember the good old days of Air America. Yeah, that was an enjoyable three days (fewer if you take out all the commercials).
Now, typically I try to avoid making superficial comments about a Leftist’s looks or personality. Unfortunately, I’m going to have to break that rule this time because the “Bro Whisper” is the least Bro-ish Bro to ever Bro a Bro, Bro. But the Left are looking to him to help bridge the gap between themselves and the segment of the population they’ve shit on for decades. All I gotta say is good luck, kid. Maybe you’ll be Bro Rogan, but I’m gonna go out on a limb and say you won’t.
This on-again-off-again political romance with male voters shows the duplicity of the Left’s approach, as well as the cynicism behind it. The thing to remember is the Left thinks we’re dumber than a bag of hammers unless we say, think, and do exactly what they do. They see us as goldfish with a blackout drinking problem: short of memory and not terribly clear on the details. Anyone who backs the “Bro Whisperer” concept is perpetuating that idea. They think going from blaming male voters for not giving us Queen Kamala the Appointed to asking for their votes (and money, of course) is no big deal because we won’t remember how they called us fascists.
Even though it was literally a week or two before Election Day. I’m sure Queen Kamala’s positions have changed since then and she wants to make up for slamming men more than Nancy Pelosi slams shots at an open bar. She’s matured in that nearly 2 month period.
And if you believe that, I have some swamp land in the Sahara Desert I’d love to sell ya.
The best part of the “Bro Whisperer” (at least to me) is how confident the Left is it’s going to work. The Left has a serious ego problem (but that’s a blog post for another day) and it’s their sheer arrogance in their shitty ideas that will make the inevitable flop all the more enjoyable. In today’s political environment, the Left is Wile E. Coyote and we’re Acme.
I’m sure the “Bro Whisperer” is going to give it the old community college/votech try and the Left will marvel at the tens and tens of listeners he’s going to get, but it’s too late for the Left to mend fences. You’re going to have to be real going forward to regain the male vote.
On the bright side, you still have the men pretending to be women vote on lockdown!
Leftist Lexicon Word of the Week
With Christmas right around the corner (please check local listings for the time and location of Christmas), people are exchanging presents, cards, well-wishes, and other wonderful holiday items. But the Left? They’re exchanging insults over Elon Musk.
Again.
Considering this is an almost hourly occurrence, we shouldn’t be surprised, but this time the Left has gone and made Musk into…co-President! While the Left has their collectivist panties in a wad, I wanted to delve into this concept a bit further, mainly because it shows the Left has the attention span of a goldfish on crack.
co-President
What the Left thinks it means – Elon Musk, an unelected man who wields unprecedented power in the incoming Trump Administration
What it really means – a term that could cover anyone with sway over the President
The concept of a co-President is kinda amusing when you really think about it (and I have because I have a lot of downtime in my personal life), and the Left have made it even more amusing by really leaning into it. They see Musk as the man controlling Trump’s strings, while at the same time claiming Trump is the puppet master of his followers. Although anyone who has seen Trump give a speech can tell you he’s about as controllable as a Chihuahua/pit bull mix on a steady diet of truck stop speed, energy drinks, and, oh yeah, PCP.
So, the concept of Musk controlling Trump as his co-President is funny at its face because of how utterly detached from reality you have to be to believe it. Musk has Trump’s ear for sure, but that doesn’t mean he has control over the incoming Commander in Chief. Until such time as evidence comes out that Musk is secretly cloning Trump so he can get his way, I’m gonna stay over on the not-that-fucking-crazy side.
And the best part? We would have to go allllllll the way back to 1993 to find the first modern reference of someone being a co-President. Ah, 1993. America was still enthralled by grunge and club music. The uniform of the day was flannel and oversized pants. Boy bands were still a good 5 years away or so. And the genius who introduced us to the concept of a co-President?
Bill “The Commander In Briefs” Clinton.
On the campaign trail, ole Slick Willie talked about if he got elected, the country would get Hillary Clinton as a “two-for-one deal.” Although this might be a good deal for Bill at any of his favorite brothels, it wasn’t that good of a deal for the rest of us. Hillary was put in charge of healthcare reform, and promptly sucked at it. But don’t worry. She was young and hadn’t truly embraced her ability to fuck shit up yet.
Now, Billy Boy wasn’t the first President to take influence from someone other than his staff, and he certainly won’t be the last. The thing is there’s a vast difference between having influence and actually using it. Did Hillary influence Bill’s decision-making at times? Undoubtedly. Who do you think gave Bill the idea to make Madeleine Albright Secretary of State and send her to talks with Muslim countries?
Spoiler Alert: It was the dumbass who used a prop Reset button to signal a new positive relationship with Russia.
Then, we had George W. Bush, a man so hated by the Left he was accused of being a puppet to Dick Cheney, Donald Rumsfeld, the Koch Brothers, the 1992 Denver Broncos, and just about everyone else. Although I think I might have missed out on my turn because I have this great idea of what to do with the IRS. Oh, well. Maybe next time!
With Barack Obama, it’s harder to pin down whether Michelle Obama had any more power than previous First Ladies, but I get the feeling she wore the pants in the family. She would have to in order to keep her balls from falling out. (Kidding!)
Now, with the most recent President, it’s a lot easier to pin down who had the President’s ear. In fact, President Brick Tamland may have been the first co-de-President ever.
Hmmm…it seems like co-Presidents occur when…weak-ass Leftist “men” are in charge. I’m sure it’s just a coincidence, though. I mean, how likely would it be that Leftist man after Leftist man would be that incompetent, right?
And it makes perfect sense for the Left to project their issues onto Trump because they’re that fucking stupid. Oh, and it make them feel better about having complete wimps be their male standard bearers in politics. To them, weakness is strength, incompetence is competence, and an utter shitshow is normal.
I’m starting to think the Left is more influenced by George Orwell than George Soros these days.
Meanwhile, this attitude creates a paradox. If we were to follow the Left’s logic on this (and for God’s sake why would you), being a co-President is only bad when the Left is out of power, but it’s ho-hum when the Left is in power. This goes back to something the Left believes with all of their heart: anyone not like them is a fucking idiot and, thus, easily manipulated by bad players.
My irony meter broke after typing that, mainly because the Left doesn’t recognize they’re doing what they accuse the Right of doing. Oh, and they’re fucking idiots.
And we should keep this in mind when thinking about the entire co-President concept, especially that last part. The fact the Left is so concerned with unelected people having so much power, presumed or otherwise, shows how freaked out they get when they’re not the unelected people having the power. Say what you will about Elon Musk, but after the last 4 years of Leftists letting utterly unqualified people have more power than they can handle (I’m looking at you, Pete Buttigieg), he should be the least of our worries. He’s not a co-President any more than Melania Trump is and shouldn’t be considered as such.
Besides, if Leftists were concerned about unelected people with a lot of power, they would be against bureaucrats.
Leftist Lexicon Word of the Week
As the Left continues to have a shit-fit over losing to Donald Trump for a second time, they’re coming up with familiar complaints about the incoming Administration. One of the most popular (at least from what I’ve seen on social media) is all about billionaires. The Left will have us believe the incoming Trump Administration will be comprised of billionaires, all of whom are hell-bent on fucking over the working class just to make a little more money.
Why, it’s almost as if the Left knows how Congresscritters make their fortunes!
Anyway, the Left’s hatred of billionaires isn’t anything new, but it’s worth mocking them in this week’s Lexicon!
billionaires
What the Left thinks it means – greedy people who only want more money and power at the expense of the rest of the population
What it really means – people who have a shit-ton of money
There are 801 billionaires in America, according to people who track this sort of thing (i.e. people who make me look like Charlie Sheen on a coke bender). Out of 337 million Americans as of this writing, you’re more likely to get hit by lightning than to run into a billionaire. However, you are still less likely to find a Leftist who understands basic economics.
And, oddly enough, it’s out of both of these that the Left’s hatred of billionaires stems: a lack of exposure, and a lack of knowledge. I’ve spoken before of the Left’s economic delusions operating out of a zero-sum game mindset, so I won’t go into it too deeply here. I’m boring enough as it is. However, I can take a nugget out of the Left’s turd of an economic approach and apply it here.
Put simply, the Left feels anyone who makes a lot of money does it through underhanded and cruel means. Their idea of a billionaire is right out of a political cartoon: fat men smoking cigars and looking down at the working man making an honest living.
So, basically, Michael Moore.
And it’s with this stereotypical mindset that the Left uses a lack of connection with the billionaires to forge their hatred. After all, it’s a lot easier to stoke fear and hatred of others when you can completely remove any vestige of humanity from them. Take the recent shooting of UnitedHealthcare CEO Brian Thompson, for example. Seeing Leftists from the Socialist Socialite to Chief Running Mouth to Taylor “The 80 Year Old Virgin” Lorenz play the “murder is bad, buuuuuuttt…” card to justify their desire to see a wealthy man pay for the crime of…well, being rich, of course, showcases how easily the Left can turn an actual human being into an it, devoid of a soul, agency, or any redeeming qualities whatsoever.
There’s a lot I could say about the shooting, but that’s a blog post for another time.
In the meantime, it’s interesting how the Left hates billionaires…considering how many of them swing to the Left. As it turns out, more than a few backed Queen Kamala the Soon To Be Unemployed, including your fiend and mine, Uncle George Soros. And don’t forget media darling Taylor Swift, whose wealth is derived from writing music about being shit at relationships. Without her help, Queen Kamala would have lost by even more!
Wait! It’s almost as if the Left’s hatred of billionaires might just be…politically motivated! I know! I was just as shocked as you are when I realized it.
See, if you’re a billionaire like Tom Steyer (net work $2 billion), you’re exempt from being a bad person because you believe the right things. If you’re a billionaire like Elon Musk (net worth $374.9 billion), you’re evil because you don’t believe the right things. But here’s the thing: they’re both fucking billionaires! Just because you share ideological points with them doesn’t change the zeroes in their bank accounts.
But it might just increase the number of zeros who will cover for you if you support the “right” ideas.
The thing that gets me about the Left’s hatred of billionaires that don’t agree with them, or wealthy people in general, is how it’s based on an arbitrary and, thus, stupid thing. Who the fuck cares if someone has more money than you do? Live your life and don’t give one-one-trillionth of a shit about what someone else makes. The only exception I have to this rule is if that person directly causes you physical, emotional, or financial harm in the pursuit of that money.
Let me repeat that for the Leftists: if that person directly causes you physical, emotional, or financial harm. No six degrees of Kevin Bacon, no “such-and-such is literal violence,” no hurt fee-fees. Di-fucking-rect. And given the fact you’re more likely to win a billion in the lottery than you are to meet a billionaire, you have zero grounds to blame them for anything. If your life is shit, it’s not because a billionaire is fucking with you. The sooner you get that, the sooner you’ll be happier.
But the Left can’t be happy. Trust me, I used to be one. One of the key aspects of being a Leftist is always being pissed off at something. And, at least for the next few microseconds or four years (whichever pisses Leftists off more), it’s going to be billionaires. And no matter what, it will never stop being hypocritical.
And funny as fuck.
Leftist Lexicon Word of the Week
As is the case when one party takes over the Presidency from the opposing party, there are going to be some changes. Some changes, like Cabinet appointees, are normal. Some changes, like the ones President Brick Tamland made so absolute freaks could join the military…not so much.
But there is one group the Left is freaking out about (you know, in between their freak outs over Donald Trump being President again). Headed up by Elon Musk and Vivek Ramaswamy, the Department of Government Efficiency, or DOGE, will attempt to do something near and dear to my heart: root out inefficiencies within the federal government behemoth and find ways to save money.
Which is why the Left is freaking out about it.
So, why all the fuss over a government entity, something Leftists love more than they love free cash from our old buddy Uncle George Soros? Well, let’s find out together!
the Department of Government Efficiency
What the Left thinks it means – a government entity that will threaten life, healthcare, and other needed social programs in the name of curtailing spending
What it really means – either a long-overdue government auditor or a fucking awesome troll
There’s an old saying: never fry bacon naked. More appropriately to this context, there is another old saying: money is power. And nowhere is this old saying more true than in the halls of government. As far as the other one, I’m not going to inquire whether it applies to government. Just…leave it be.
As odd as it sounds, the Left understands this much better than the Right does. They just don’t spend money well, as Queen Kamala the Appointed’s campaign proved. Still, they understand the power that comes with having wealth, which is why they tend to do what the wealthy want.
Sorry, Leftists. The only way you get a seat at the Adults’ Table is if your bankroll has more zeroes than the ones in your ranks.
Two of the ways government Leftists get money from you and me are taxes and regulations. Taxes are somewhat excusable because that’s how we should be funding out country. Regulations, on the other hand…well, that’s a whole different kettle of overpriced fish.
Regulatory agencies are like HOA boards. They write rules that everyone has to follow, even if they are contrary to what the people want and fly in the face of what most people would consider common sense. And if you violate those rules in any way? Fines up the ass. And who gets to handle any appeals? Usually…it’s the assholes who made the rules in the first place.
That means the natural enemy of the government Leftist is anyone who wants to change the grift…I mean system. Ron Paul to his credit (and to the chagrin of big government types) stayed pretty consistent when it came to wanting government to make sense, especially when it came to the Federal Reserve. His son Rand Paul is also a fan of reducing government waste, relating it to the Airing of Grievances from as a part of Festivus from “Seinfeld.” Others have also taken up the mantle ensuring government waste gets the attention it so richly deserves.
And guess who else has made it a priority? Donald Muthafuckin’ Trump.
While Democrats understand the power of money, Republicans in recent years have come to understand the power of not wasting money. This hasn’t always been the case, unfortunately, as there are more than a few Republicans okay with spending money we don’t have on shit we don’t need or that could be obtained at a lower cost.
And it’s not the cranks on the Right with zero influence. Deregulation has been a cornerstone issue for many Republicans like Ted Cruz for the same reason fiscally responsible adults don’t go out and buy a new Ferrari every two weeks: it’s ultimately a waste of money, no matter how good you look in it. If a product or service is required to go through unnecessary rounds of regulatory trials, it costs money. And when you consider some of the things the federal government let pass that ultimately turned out to be harmful, maybe deregulation isn’t such a bad thing after all.
And if you Leftists doubt me, riddle me this. Why aren’t there snacks with Olestra in them anymore? Two words: anal leakage.
So, for Trump to even float the idea of an entity to audit government spending is a pretty big step, and it’s a step too far for Leftists out there. To rub a Great Salt Lake’s worth of salt into the wound, he picked Elon Musk to head it up. Now, Musk isn’t on too many Leftist Christmas card lists anymore because he decided the Left was nuttier than squirrel shit and wasn’t afraid to say it. He even went so far as to buy the Social Media Platform Formerly Known As Twitter and made it open for more free expression, unlike the pre-Musk days when Leftists could get people kicked off the platform for daring to exist in their space! The absolute nerve!
The other part of the power couple from Deregulation Hell is Vivek Ramaswamy, former Presidential candidate and by all accounts not to the Left of Ronald Reagan a smart and friendly guy. Although the Left will give us plenty of explanations as to why the Department of Government Efficiency won’t work, I think it’s clear why the Left doesn’t like it.
Leftists don’t want an African-American man and a person of color to succeed, and that’s racist.
Seriously (or at least as seriously as I can make it), the Left fear the Department of Government Efficiency might actually work and root out the kind of cost overruns and unnecessary spending that would put a lot of politicians out of a job…at least until they got a lobbying gig, but you see the point. Donald Trump has mastered the game of politics. Yes, he’ll still make boneheaded decisions, but when it comes to beating the Left at their own game, he is Bobby Fischer and they are Bobby Boucher, only not as good at football.
And that’s why there’s a part of me that thinks the Department of Government Efficiency may be the biggest troll in modern history.
Trump loves to needle his critics, which they aren’t used to because they’re thin-skinned little pussies who live in communities where their ideas are never challenged. As such, he has become the Trollmaster In Chief, throwing rhetorical jabs like Mike Tyson in his prime. Or Jake Paul when the fight is rigged.
The thing that makes me think the Department of Government Efficiency is one of these rhetorical jabs is in the first letters of the department, DOGE. For those of you who have lives, Dogecoin is a cryptocurrency made popular by…drumroll please…Elon Musk. And what else is it known as in some circles? Doge.
I wouldn’t put it past Trump to have created this department as a joke just to see Leftists’ heads explode. It is just too fucking perfect and a way to make his detractors lose their collectivist minds. And if it is a troll, I will stand up and give him a slow clap because it’s that awesome of a troll.
On the other hand, if it’s a serious proposal, I am all for it. Government waste caused by bad spending decisions and worse regulatory decisions needs to be addressed while we might be able to not spend ourselves into oblivion. With a lofty goal of $2 trillion in spending cuts, it’s a definite start towards fiscal responsibility. Having said that, I will be keeping tabs on the government waste and verifying if there is more to be cut elsewhere that wasn’t on the chopping block. (I’m looking at you, Department of Defense.)
In the meantime, I will be buying up a lot of popcorn stock because the next four years are gonna be fun.
Extremist Makeover: MSNBC Edition
If the 2024 elections taught me anything, it’s how much the mainstream media’s influence is waning. And by waning, I mean tanking more than Michael Dukakis in a helmet. And if you got that reference, you are officially old. Welcome to the club!
But there’s one cable news network that has been hit the hardest: MSNBC, or as I call it “the Bluesky of cable news.” (And, for you MSNBC viewers out there, that’s not a positive thing.) Ratings are down, NBC is considering splitting MSNBC from its holdings (it’s not them, it’s you), and even high profile stars like Rachel Maddow are having to take pay cuts.
If anyone needed an Extremist Makeover, it’s MSNBC. Good thing I’m here to help!
Right now, MSNBC is directionless. They can go back to being the “Orange Man Bad” channel (as if they ever stopped), but that route has diminishing returns in its future. They’ve lost a lot of credibility following every Trump-related conspiracy theory and inviting on figures like Adam Schiff to perpetuate those conspiracy theories. They’re behind the times when it comes to reverting back to more straight news, as CNN has already tried to take a step back towards the middle from the hinterlands of Leftistinistan.
Not exactly an enviable position to say the least!
There are two choices that come to mind, neither one attractive in the grand scheme, but necessary to try to sustain an audience. The first is to try to appeal to the middle ground. You can still have Rachel Maddow, but you would also need someone on the other side (preferably not from the not-quite-as-insane-as-Joy-Reid-but-you-can-see-her-sanitarium-from-here group) to balance the scales and offer a different perspective.
And speaking of Joy Reid, you’re gonna have to let her go, as well as a few others. Al Sharpton, Lawrence O’Donnell, Chris Hayes, and hosts of others shouldn’t even be allowed in the newsroom if they were getting coffee for the real journalists. They should rightly be shown the door if for no other reason than to eliminate redundancies. Heck, Chris Hayes and Rachel Maddow are practically twins as it is, so why not get rid of the less talented one?
A change in ownership may also be in MSNBC’s future, which could go a long ways towards righting this left-leaning ship. One of the names being bandied about is Elon Musk, who knows a thing or two about bringing balance to a media outlet, as all the Leftists fleeing the Social Media Site Formerly Known As Twitter can attest. Or would if you didn’t get banned off Bluesky for not being Leftist enough.
On the other hand, it may be too late for MSNBC to gain any amount of credibility in the eyes of the media consuming public. In that case, maybe it’s time to lean into the nitwit Leftist conspiracy theories. Go all out! Rename yourself MSNBlueAnonC and let anyone with an idea that makes Trump look like the Dictator-du-jour. Is there fluoride in your drinking water? Trump did it! Step in some dog waste on your way into a San Francisco Whole Foods? Trump literally just took a dump right there! Make the Weekly World News look like the New York Times!
Wait, wait. I have to apologize for that last line. In no way, shape, or form was I attempting to question the journalistic integrity and prowess of a highly respected newspaper by comparing it to the New York Times. I’m sorry. Now please don’t sic Bat Boy on me!
Anyway, if you’re going to cater to the marginally coherent crowd, make sure it’s the best catering you can do. Sure, this will further tank your credibility and will shrink your audience smaller than the number of people who still want to see the Snow White movie when/if it comes out, but it will be fun. And when you really think about it, if you know you’re on the Titanic and about to plunge to an icy demise, why not have a little fun with it? Do the biggest cannonball you can and never regret it for a second!
Either way, I hope you folks at MSNBC take my advice. Especially on that second option because, although I can’t guarantee its success, I can guarantee it will make me laugh a lot.
Leftist Lexicon Word of the Week
Hollywood loves reboots like they love hookers and blow, and they really love hookers and blow. Sometimes these reboots work out (like the updated version of the Planet of the Apes movies, minus the Tim Buron-directed abomination). Sometimes they don’t (like the flaming shit-show that is the unreleased “Snow White”).
When Elon Musk bought Twitter and turned it into the Social Media Platform Formerly Known as Twitter, Leftists started looking for alternatives because they would no longer be able to count on high-ranking Leftists to censor those icky conservatives opinions that didn’t violate the Terms of Service, but did violate their fee-fees.
Now, they’ve found one, a little thing the kids like to call Bluesky. It’s relatively new, but it’s already boasting over 20 million users with a lot of them being former X users (so ex-X users. Thank you! Tip your waitstaff!) departing the social media site after Donald Trump won the Presidency for a second time with help from Elon Musk.
So, shall we take a trip into the Blue-niverse? (Thank you! Please hold your applause!) Even if you don’t want to, we’re going!
Bluesky
What the Left thinks it means – a social media site where like-minded people can share their opinions without fear of being censored by right wingers
What it really means – the digital version of Air America
After decades of having control over most of the popular media of the time, Leftists have had to adapt to a new environment where their control was no longer as secure as it once was. Talk radio, lead by the late Rush Limbaugh, started becoming the alternative to the squawking heads people once looked to for news. And, yes, there are plenty of examples of talk radio hosts getting shit wrong, but it didn’t matter. The Left no longer controlled the flow of information.
As a result, Leftists tried to ride the wave of talk radio success by creating Air America. Basically, what the brain trust behind it thought was all they had to do was replace Rush Limbaugh with Al Franken and watch the money roll in. Only, it didn’t. Talk radio wasn’t plug-and-play. You actually had to have personalities people want to listen to, and Air America really didn’t. Oh, they had an audience, but it was far smaller than the normal talk radio audience. Say what you will about Limbaugh, he knew how to entertain (which is ironic because Al Franken was on “Saturday Night Live” when it was actually funny).
And then Air America came in with a whimper and went out with a popcorn fart. You’re lucky to find anyone around my age to even remember Air America was something other than a Mel Gibson movie these days, and the only reason I remember it is because I’m just that lame. Nevertheless, the point is Leftists really don’t know how to catch up when someone outside of their ideological bubble races ahead of them.
Which brings us to Bluesky.
What Musk has done for X is so logical, it’s no surprise Leftists hate it. Instead of letting one side of the political aisle run roughshod over anyone who disagreed with their enlightened (and utterly dumb) opinions, Musk brought at least some semblance of neutrality to the platform. Which pissed off Leftists to no end. After all, if there’s one thing Leftists hate more than Donald Trump and Elon Musk, it’s having their positions challenged in any way. So, after spending all this time talking smack about the platform (while still on said platform), they took their balls and went home…to Bluesky.
Now, I’m not going to say it’s a flaming Port-A-Potty over there because, well, that would be unfair to flaming Port-A-Potties. Oh, sure, you’ll still find decent posts about nature and science, but most of the stuff being posted on there is straight-up Beyond Thunderdome shit. Aside from being accused of censoring conservative viewpoints as well as pro-Palestinian posts, they’re driving other Leftists away for…dare I say it…not being Leftist enough.
Great way to build up the world’s most tolerant echo chamber!
In the post-election environment we find ourselves in, this isn’t all that unusual. Leftists always look for people to blame for their election failures because it’s a hell of a lot easier than saying, “Ya know, we really fucked up here.” With Bluesky, the only difference is the venue.
Oh, and the level of batshit insanity.
Fortunately, you don’t have to go on Bluesky to see it. Some brave soul is going into Bluesky and picking out the best of the worst and putting it on X. Whomever you are, my few remaining brain cells and I thank you.
If you don’t want to get an X account (like your humble correspondent), there is still humor to be found out of the batshit insanity when you consider the possibility the Bluesky Leftists are screaming into the void (albeit an intellectual one) of their own creation. Then, it becomes a contest to try to “prove” how Leftist you are, which will lead to more fighting with the freak show.
Cue Thunderdome! Two Leftists enter, one Leftist leaves!
And we’ll have to deal with a potential shortage of popcorn…
Leftist Lexicon Word of the Week
As a semi-popular blogger, pundit, and all around neat guy, I have a deep respect for freedom of speech. After all, without it, I’d just be some lunatic behind bars talking about how bad government sucks. As it stands, I’m just in a rubber room, so yay, I guess?
I wouldn’t bring this up unless it was relevant, and thanks to Queen Kamala the Appointed and the Left, it’s become very relevant, but not in a good way. Whether it’s The Social Media Site Formerly Known as Twitter getting banned in Brazil for alleged misinformation to Vice Presidential candidate Tim Walz and Presidential candidate Kamala Harris both in favor of some form of government intervention/regulation of social media, the topic is as relevant today as it was when the Bill of Rights was passed.
free speech
What the Left thinks it means – the right to express yourself without government interference, except when it crosses certain lines
What it really means – the right to express yourself without government interference, regardless of who you are and what you say
As with guns, cars, and movies like “The Room,” freedom of speech can be used for different ends. That’s why it’s important to consider the implications of their use prior to firing a gun, driving a car, or paying for a ticket to see “The Room.” Oh, and speaking out.
Yes, there are some limitations to free speech, and they’re established as a means of protecting people from physical or reputational damage. Some speech like “fighting words” aren’t considered free speech because a) they are designed to promote a violent response, and b) the person engaging in it is kinda asking for an ass-whuppin’. For those of you younger folks reading this, fighting words are what we old folks used to do in lieu of internet trolling because the Internet hadn’t been invented yet. (Thanks, Al Gore.)
Anyway, the Left has tried to apply the same approach used with fighting words with other forms of speech. Each one could be a Lexicon entry in and of itself, but here is a list of these speech forms the Left doesn’t like.
hate speech – Basically, any speech that makes Leftists look like assholes
misinformation – Basically, any speech that proves Leftists are assholes
election interference – Basically, any speech that shows Leftists losing
election misinformation – Basically, any speech that proves Leftist politicians are full of shit
I’m not sure, but I’m sensing a pattern here…
Although a case can be made for regulations on these, the case is pretty fucking bad. You can pass as many laws banning them, but they run smack in the face of the very thing Leftists claim to be all about: free speech. Yes, some speech is abhorrent and would make Gandhi want to grab a shotgun and start kicking ass, but the answer to it isn’t cracking down on the bad speech; it’s countering it with good speech. Dennis Miller put it best (and I’m paraphrasing it from here, so please don’t sue me, Mr. Miller): No free speech gives you Hitler. Healthy free speech gives you David Duke. There’s a big, big difference.
The problem is the Left doesn’t understand that difference. Either that, or they don’t get the reference, which isn’t all that uncommon with Miller’s work. Regardless, Leftists treat any speech that isn’t from their echo chamber as dangerous. And it’s not because it’s particularly threatening, dangerous to society as a whole, or offensive to society as a whole. It’s because it’s not something they can control with any degree of success.
Having said that, they aren’t going to stop trying. During the height of the COVID-19 pandemic, information countering the official narrative got censored and social media accounts that spread that information got removed. Even as Mark “No, I’m Not Data” Zuckerberg had to admit the Brick Tamland Administration pressured Meta to crack down on certain content. And I’m guessing you know what content got the ban hammer.
But you know who didn’t get nailed for COVID misinformation? All the figureheads and media outlets who peddled the Administration’s bullshit. Seems “Trust the Science” didn’t include actual science. Then again, the “Trust the Science” people also believe men can be women just because they feel that way, so…
It’s bullshit like this (the censorship, not the men claiming to be women) that made Elon Musk take on the mantle of leadership when it comes to free speech online. He has rightly made it his cause, and given the lack of accountability for those who on the Left who violate the Left’s own rules (I’m looking at you, Rachel Maddow!), it’s clear we need someone who not only understands free speech, but also allows it.
Musk may not be the best person to do it, but at least he’s doing it. Since taking over the Social Media Site Formerly Known As Twitter, he has reversed many of the previous decisions made and reinstated accounts that he felt were terminated unjustly. Granted, that gave us back noted white nationalist and all around weirdo Nick Fuentes, but the upside is we can now keep better track of him and what he says. That’s something you don’t get with free speech crackdowns. Forcing people like Fuentes to go off the free speech grid makes it harder to track him down and combat whatever speech he’s spouting. With a healthy respect for free speech, he makes himself known, so we can do a little rhetorical White Supremacist Whack-A-Mole.
And if you know any of the scuttlebutt about him, the mole part might not be complete hyperbole.
Freedom of speech is one of the bedrock principles we should all strive to want. Without it, how would we redress grievances with the government (of which your humble correspondent has plenty), spread the message to others to gather peaceably, or print out flyers? And for those of you eagle-eyed readers out there, you might recognize the examples I just gave as rights covered under the First Amendment. If you didn’t, that’s okay. You’re still brighter than 100% of the dipshits who think free speech should be limited because fee-fees get hurt.
I don’t think free speech is going anywhere if Queen Kamala the Appointed and Vice Queen TIMMAH get into office because neither one has the brains necessary to make the case in favor of getting rid of it, but that doesn’t mean we can ease up protecting it. As Ronald Reagan put it:
Freedom is never more than one generation away from extinction. We didn’t pass it to our children in the bloodstream. It must be fought for, protected, and handed on for them to do the same, or one day we will spend our sunset years telling our children and our children’s children what it was once like in the United States where men were free.
And if you can’t trust a man who acted with a chimp, who can you trust?
Paywall X
X, formerly known as Twitter, is looking into the possibility of charging users a small monthly fee to use the service. If this happens it will be the final death blow to the Social Media platform.
Twitter was my favorite Social Media outlet, back when it was young. It had no ads, it no gimmicks, just simple text and some attached images. Plain, simple, useful.
I have written before that I prefer the older forms of Social Media, before it even had a name. Email Groups, Blogs, and Internet Forums.
With these there is control of who sees your posts. Who comments on your posts. And even who is a member of the circle getting the posts. Now, of course, they can be sent on to other places as well.
All of the current Social Media outlets can be replaced. But not with the batch of clones that are out now that are mimicking the current popular platforms. Even now we have multiple Twitter clones out there and all fall short of the original.
Will X survive by charging all members a fee? I don’t think so. Most sites, even news sites, that have paywalls I personally browse away from the moment I hit that wall.
Are Paywalls good to have? It depends. Yes in some cases it is a good measure. In other cases, it is not. And for Social Media. It is a bad idea.