To call President Brick Tamland’s performance during his first debate with Donald Trump a disaster would be an understatement of Godzilla-like proportions. And not the good Godzilla, either. I’m talking the shitty 90s version of Godzilla with Matthew Broderick that sucked ass.
Anyway, the Left is in panic mode and throwing out ideas on what to do from here, and one of those involves throwing out President Tamland off the ticket for 2024. As much fun and chaos that would ensue from this, I have to put on my conspiratorial hat for a bit to wonder if this wasn’t a plot to get the President off the ticket and find a replacement that would fare better against Trump.
At this point, I will warn you this is pure speculation on my part. I have no inside sources speaking on terms of protecting their identities and I’m not clever enough to invent such sources myself, so take what I’m about to say with as big a grain of salt as you want. Just make sure you take your blood pressure meds before you do.
Anyone with functioning eyes, ears, and brain can see President Tamland isn’t quite as lucid as he seemed to be in 2020. Part of this can be attributed to him being Methuselah with hair extensions. As we age, our mental faculties may take a bit of a dip. This isn’t always the case, but with the President, I think the dip is much more pronounced than it was a few years ago. And let’s not kid ourselves. Being the President adds years to your life, even after only a little bit of time in the position. If you take up the mantle, you had best be ready for the toll it will have on you.
Granted, I’ve never seen President Tamland as particularly bright before now. He’s always come off to me as a used car salesman with a broad smile, a welcoming demeanor, and the ability to schmooze his way into a deal that will leave you heaving off the lot in a rusted out Yugo with a transmission being held together by bubble gum, some chicken wire, and a blessing from the Pope. He’s definitely a people person, which will take you far in politics.
But this year, being Not Trump isn’t going to cut it.
Under the guidance of President Tamland, we’ve had severe inflation, an economy that can’t seem to make up its mind whether to be shitty or super shitty, and the bungling of issues here and abroad. His track record as President has been arguably one of the worst in modern history on many levels, so much so that we’re willing to give a convicted felon another shot at the White House because he doesn’t seem that bad compared to the dumpster fire we’re currently experience.
In political terms, President Tamland has served his purpose, which was to defeat Trump. If he did a couple of good things here and there, it was gravy. But now, he’s becoming more of a liability than Hunter Biden, and that’s saying something!
Here’s where the numbskullery…I mean skullduggery comes into play. President Tamland wants to be President again, not because he’s particularly good at it, but because he really can’t do anything else. The dude has been in public office for almost all of my life, and I am not a young man at this point. If he were to leave the White House voluntarily or otherwise, what could he realistically do? Teach a class on how to be a fuck-up and get paid big money for it?
By the way, I think that course is already being offered next semester at Harvard.
As a result, President Tamland has dug in his heels and refused to accept any advice to pack it in, retire to Connecticut, and regale his grandkids with stories about how Corn Pop was a bad dude. Early on in this election cycle, the Left were okay with it for the most part, aside from the usual rabble rousing from the Squad and other like-hiveminded Leftists. Even the media got involved and tried to downplay what we were seeing as nothing major. The President is as sharp as he ever was (see my previous comments about him and why that’s not a compliment). Anybody who says otherwise is ageist, a right wing smear monger, or out and out lying to you.
After the debate, these same folks were singing a completely different tune.
And that’s all part of the plan. Remember, President Tamland’s team set the ground rules for the first debate, so there’s a part of me thinking it was a set up from the jump. Even the people closest to the President have to have seen his decline, even if they don’t want to admit it. In order to keep their jobs in what they hope would be a Tamland-in-name-only Administration, they needed an out. The debate was that out.
And the best thing about it for them is it was a no-lose situation. If Tamland performed the way he did, they could make the argument he shouldn’t be the nominee anymore. If he did better than expected, they could run to the media and say “We told you so!” without missing a beat or raising even the slightest doubt as to his capabilities.
Now, thanks to President Tamland making Kamala Harris look brilliant, the door is wide open for new faces to throw their hats into the ring. And with the right amount of prodding, President Tamland might even step down of his own volition. A perfect solution to an imperfect problem right?
Yeah, not so much.
The current Democrat Party is a loose-knit coalition of special interest groups who are willing to set aside personal differences to achieve an ideological goal, at least in theory. In current practice, however, the party has more cracks than Hunter can smoke in a weekend. With morons like the Squad squabbling with the party leadership over candidates who don’t meet their progressive litmus tests, getting a new candidate to replace President Tamland is going to be daunting. And the rank and file are starting to agree more with the Socialist Socialite than Nancy Pelosi, which means the possibility of there being a political turf war that results in the nomination of a candidate nobody likes, but has to run to preserve democracy or some shit.
That means Kamala still has a chance to be the Presidential nominee!
This also opens up a lot of questions about the quality of candidates willing to step up and most likely lose. The only thing bigger than a politician’s closet full of skeletons is his or her ego. Any Democrat who decides to try to win the nomination is going to have to be able to deal with President Tamland’s fuck-ups in a way that doesn’t affect future potential runs. And with the bozos on deck, from California Governor Gavin Newsom to Michigan Governor Gretchen Whitmer, I’m not sure they have a viable Plan B. Their best course of victory might be to forfeit.
Or they could just run Hillary Clinton again.
Even after all of that, even if they find a candidate willing to be the whipping boy (or girl) to Trump, there may be convention headaches not related to partying with Nancy Pelosi. The way Democrats run their conventions makes as much sense as Calvinball. The states have delegates, but the party also has superdelegates who can override the will of the delegates. After all, we can’t have people actually affect who gets to be the nominee, amirite?
If there is a fight between a candidate chosen by the delegates and a candidate preferred by the superdelegates, there is going to be chaos on the level of a Michael Bay movie, possibly with fewer unnecessary explosions. Hopefully, the party leadership is smart enough to find a way out of this…I can’t even type the rest of that sentence with a straight face. If they were smart enough in the first place, they would have convinced President Tamland to serve only one term.
Now, we get a little further into the weeds, so I’ll try to be brief here. When there is a convention where candidates are voted in, there is a process that has to be followed. If there needs to be a deviation of that process, the majority body has to agree to it. Before any speeches are given or video montages rolled, there needs to be a vote. Otherwise, it’ll just be night after night of “Trump Bad!” So, you know, pretty much the entire Tamland campaign strategy to date. Without agreement, there can be no nomination. No nomination means no candidate. But it doesn’t mean we won’t get night after night of boring speeches that will only appeal to the faithful. I don’t foresee this part being a big problem under the circumstances, but it could still happen.
And perhaps the biggest headache facing Democrats if they go through with replacing President Tamland: state election laws. Each state sets up its own laws regarding how elections are run, how one qualifies to be on the ballot, and the like. And, yes, there are time limits to these things. If a candidate isn’t officially a nominee by the time these deadlines come and go (as what almost happened to President Tamland in Ohio), the states may have to revisit whether he or she qualifies to be on the ballot.
And guess which party controls the majority of the gubernatorial seats in this country. Can you say “Republicans,” boys and girls? I knew you could. Add into the fact many of these Republican Governors also have Republican majorities in their legislatures, there might not be a lot of leeway given to the potential Democrat nominee if it’s not President Tamland.
But simply, this is a problem that would make Rube Goldberg and M.C. Escher scratch their heads in confusion and disbelief. All because a man in serious mental decline wouldn’t take no for an answer.
Sucks to be you!
Tag: election 2024
Leftist Lexicon Word of the Week
With the Presidential election a little under 5 months away (I’m surprised I didn’t hear more about this), all eyes are on the election process as much as the two major party candidates running (or in President Brick Tamland’s case, stumbling). While the Left has been repeating “Trump is a convicted felon” until their face turns blue…r, they’ve also been raising concerns about election interference. After all, our elections are sacrosanct and it’s clear Trump and the GOP is trying to weaken our faith in the election process by questioning the results.
You know, like these same Leftists did in 2000, 2004, 2016…
This raises the question of what constitutes election interference. A good question, but one with some really bad answers.
election interference
What the Left thinks it means – steps taken to question or derail our elections
What it really means – a nebulous term that covers a lot of ground without providing consistent and concrete examples
Elections used to be easy to handle. You show up, show ID, go into a booth with a curtain like a small shower, and pull your levers or mark your ballots. Or in some cases, mark your ballots while pulling your lever. And even when we disagreed with the outcomes, we lived with them without discord.
Then, the political parties realized they could cheat. Whether it was Chicago Mayor Richard Daley delivering votes for John F. Kennedy or the whole hanging chad controversy from the 2000 Presidential election, it became more commonplace to think our elections could be rigged through underhanded means. But surely two major political parties with decades of shadowy meetings and more vices than Sodom and Gomorrah with an all you can eat buffet would never sink to fucking with the election process, right?
Nevermind.
When you think about it (and I have because our Internet was down for a couple of hours), election interference as a concept has a pretty wide scope. Even with the various state election laws and federal election laws, there are a lot of gray areas. Just like my hair these days.
But the existence of laws themselves doesn’t make partisans any less tempted to break them. And when you consider election law violations are investigated as infrequently as the media covering anything involving Hunter Biden, there’s a good chance any election crimes are going to go unpunished. If anything, I’m surprised more people haven’t started questioning whether our elections aren’t as staged as pro wrestling.
Actually, that’s not a fair comparison. Pro wrestling is much more on the level.
Now, that’s going to get me branded as an election denier by the Left, which is fine. I’ve been insulted worse by better people. But if you’re going to tell me my questioning of election results that make less sense than a Kamala Harris sentence is threatening the integrity of elections, you’d better come with evidence beyond “we’re uncomfortable with you telling the truth about our election crimes.”
In fact, Leftists consider what they consider to be “misinformation” to be election interference. Considering these Leftists can’t figure out what a woman is, I’m not going to take them that seriously.
And it’s this same attitude I’m taking towards the Left’s sudden concern with election integrity and preventing interference. From where I sit (in my living room in my comfy chair as I write this), this concern is based not on acknowledging the screamingly obvious, but hiding the election interference that has already occurred and may be gearing up again to help President Tamland limp across the finish line in November.
One safeguard the Right has asked to be put in place to reduce election interference is voter ID laws. Actually showing identification and having a poll worker confirm you are who you say you are is a good way to better ensure election integrity.
Which is why the Left opposes it. Not only do they consider them to be burdensome, but racist! After all, it might make minorities actually have to do something outrageous, like…getting a driver’s license!
Yet, voter ID laws could easily fit under the Left’s umbrella for election interference because it doesn’t fit in with the overall plan: electing more Leftists. And with the election of more Leftists come the appointment of more Leftists into positions that you’d need an act of God, an edict from the Vatican, and a signed note from your mother to get them out of.
To go along with this, Leftists could consider laws against electioneering to fall under that designation. Fortunately, we’ve never had a major party offer food and water to people in line to vote, like, ever, right? Also, consider laws restricting mail in ballots. Certainly, the Left would consider that election interference. In fact, as it currently sits, election interference could mean just about anything.
Except for the shit they do. Like…oh I don’t know…getting their favorite rich relative Uncle George Soros to push for Leftists to be responsible for counting the votes in various states? And if these people are aligned with one side or the other, what safeguards are there to prevent them from miscounting votes or tossing out valid ballots while excusing invalid ones? And if there appear to be boxes and boxes of ballots that mysteriously show up at the 13th hour, it’s up to these folks to determine if they’re valid, even if there are discrepancies.
Call me a cynic, but I’ve seen too much election-related fuckery because of dishonest bullshit from partisan players. And with how vague and contradictory the Left’s definition of election interference is, I have zero faith in their professed desire to tackle it.
However, there is a method to their madness, that being holding the Right accountable to the rules. Thank you, Saul Alinsky. The only difference is the rules are being set by the Left and the Right is going along with them because, well, they’re the rules. The Left has no intention of following the rules they make, but they’ll be sticklers whenever the Right deviates from them.
That is, until the Right decides to force the issue. Voter ID laws, restrictions on mail-in ballots, and other options on the table are not only reasonable, but doable. And they put the Left in a difficult position: support laws that will go a long way to ensuring election integrity (and cut down on the amount of bitching from everyone except the Left), or admit they’re full of shit.
Guess which one I’m betting on.
Leftist Lexicon Word of the Week
Election years can be wilder than a Motley Crue after party with Charlie Sheen, Willie Nelson, and Lindsay Lohan. This year’s election, though, makes that scenario look like a Mormon church picnic combined with an IBM leadership forum. From the Left cheering the legal process preventing presumed Republican candidate Donald Trump from campaigning (and having it backfire on them in ways they have yet to fathom) to telling people the flaming shitstorm of an economy brought to you by Bidenomics isn’t really that bad, we are seeing a lot of chicanery before the first ballot is cast.
Or before the first 5 billion ballots for Biden can be fabricated by Leftist groups, as the case may be.
In recent decades, there’s been a concern that non-residents are allowed to vot, a concern that’s been raised this year as well. And Leftists, using all the logic and knowledge at their disposal, have said “Nuh-uh!” So, what is the truth of the matter? Well, let’s just say the Left doth protest too much.
non-resident voting
What the Left thinks it means – a conspiracy theory dreamed up by Republicans to stir up anger and fear of immigrants
What it really means – something the Left has been allowing to happen because it helps them
There are a number of criteria that must be met in order to vote in most elections, as dictated by the federal government. And in case you don’t want to open the link yourself, the one at the very top is…you must be a citizen to vote. Of course, Leftists are quick to point out it’s already illegal for non-residents to vote in state and federal elections, so we don’t need more laws.
Remember these are the same assholes who believe more gun laws are needed to protect people after every shooting.
Anyway, I do have to give the Left credit. They are correct non-residents can’t vote in state or federal elections. However, they are allowed to vote in local elections in some places. So, if they’re only voting in local elections, what’s the harm?
Because it’s only a matter of time before Leftists start demanding non-residents be allowed to vote in state and federal elections because “they live here, too.” Normally, this might fall under the slippery slope fallacy (and, to be honest, it still might), but when you consider this sort of thing has happened more than a couple of times in my lifetime, I’m going to call bullshit on anyone saying it’s a fallacy in this case. Remember, it wasn’t that long ago Leftists went from gays just wanting to be treated like everyone else to gays being allowed to dictate how other people live under fear of public humiliation.
Because tolerance, you bigot!
The push to allow non-residents to vote is similar to another movement Leftists have tried to advance, that being allowing felons to vote once they’re out of prison. Most states have a restriction on felons voting until their sentences are complete or after a probation period, but in Maine, Vermont, and the District of Columbia, felons never lose their right to vote. Granted, the most hardened criminals in Vermont are maple syrup traffickers, but the point is still there. What was once a “no voting ever again” sentence has been turned into a “well, maybe we will let you vote again if you promise to be good boys and girls, m’kay.”
And we’re not supposed to think this will happen with non-residents why exactly? Oh, yeah, because we’re not supposed to notice this shit.
Just like we’re not supposed to notice how state and local agencies aren’t exactly following the laws on the books. Recently, a South Caroline Medicare office gave a non-resident a packet which included…a voter registration form. Leftists will be quick to point out getting the form doesn’t mean the non-resident was going to register to vote or even vote. Then, why would the packet include it automatically? Granted, it could be an oversight or the way the bureaucracy runs because Lord knows they can’t be allowed to make exceptions.
Then, there’s California’s “Motor Voter” Law. For those of you unfamiliar with it because you have lives outside the Interwebs, this law allows people to register to vote when they get a driver’s license. It’s super convenient…and also a good way to get non-residents registered to vote without so much as a first glance, let alone a second one. And with California being a sanctuary state (meaning they won’t check for citizenship if a non-resident is caught after a crime or in general), that means there is no check on whether non-residents are voting in more than local elections.
And if you think I’m picking on California, I am, but it’s not just a problem there. In our nation’s capitol, it’s estimated there are over 42,000 non-citizens eligible to vote in city elections as of 2021, thanks to a bill passed by the DC City Council. Granted, it’s unlikely these non-residents could sway the elections in a district where the choices are Democrat or other Democrat, but it has a symbolic significance.
After all, if the area where we house most of our degenerates, idiots, and psychopaths allows non-residents to vote (but enough about the DC Mayor’s office), it’s only a matter of time before Leftists make the case more communities should be open to the idea.
Sure, if you want to make Mos Eisley look like an Amish village.
It’s at this point I get to introduce a concept Leftists don’t get yet: a law is only as effective as its ability and/or desire to be enforced. When there’s a vested interest in a law not being enforced, it gets easier to overlook criminals, which makes it a lot easier to break the law with impunity. Just ask Californians. The good ones, not those who complain major companies are leaving California after being looted on the regular. And when no one’s enforcing the law…more people will be tempted to break the law.
Funny how that works, isn’t it?
There is an argument to be made for non-residents being allowed to vote in local and school board elections, but it will require a commitment to enforce the laws on the books. Since that’s not going to happen thanks to Leftists, that argument is a non-starter with me. Not because the Leftists are shitheads, but because it sullies the election process.
And because Leftists are shitheads.
Allowing non-residents to vote for anything more than what new Lays potato chip flavor should be produced is a recipe for disaster and many Donald Trump Truth Social posts about election interference. And the sad part is he’s right, albeit with a lot of exaggeration. When we can’t even verify the people casting votes in an election are eligible under federal law, it makes our elections less secure than a crack rock near Hunter Biden. When you consider the number of votes separating Donald Trump and President Brick Tamland in 2020 in Arizona, Georgia, and Wisconsin, even 15,000 illegally cast votes can make the difference between a winner and a loser.
Or a decent economy and a flaming shitshow of an economy.
Unless you like having to take out a third mortgage to buy a carton of milk, maybe you might want to take non-residents voting a lot more seriously.
The Not-So-Great Replacement
If you’ve been paying attention to the Left in recent years (and to be fair why would you since you have jobs and lives), you’ve heard about the Great Replacement Theory. In short, it’s the belief Jews are bringing in immigrants to replace white people. Of course, it’s wrong because without white people, Leftists would have no one to blame for shit.
But those same Leftists are facing their own Great Replacement Theory, but it has nothing to do with race or ethnicity. It has to do with who will be running for President for the Democrats in 2024.
The current presumptive candidate is President Puddin’ Head Joe, but given his propensity to, oh I don’t know, be a feeble-minded buffoon on a good day, the Left is trying to figure out what to do if his mental and/or physical health continues to deteriorate. To put it mildly, their options are scarcer than meat options at a vegan barbecue. Let’s take a look at these wieners…I mean winners.
Kamala Harris – Current Vice President and leader in the Government Official Who Makes Puddin’ Head Joe Look Sentient contest. Her list of accomplishments to date have been impressive…in just how blank the list is. Her popularity is somewhere between Bidenomics and Ben Shapiro at the BET Music Awards, and only one of those has a good beat that you can dance to. Leftists are trying to replace her, so elevating her to the Presidency would be a step in the wrong direction.
Dean Phillips – The “Who Is He?” candidate. To his credit, Phillips has brought up Puddin’ Head Joe’s age and low approval rates as reasons to find someone else. But as those calls have gotten louder in Leftist circles, it hasn’t moved the needle on his candidacy. And given how his party treated Robert Kennedy Jr., it’s not surprising so many are still Ridin’ With Biden even if that ride ends up at the bottom of a ravine. And speaking of Mr. Kennedy…
Robert Kennedy Jr. – Noted vaccine skeptic and bane of the Left’s existence because he didn’t Trust The Science. Much has been made of how his anti-vaccination stance has negatively impacted his extended family, but not much has been made of…how can I put this…his being fucking right about the COVID-19 vaccine. Since the narrative of his “homewrecking” has become the go-to for the Leftist hivemind, it’s unlikely he’ll get a fair shake or an honest hearing from Leftists and the media (but I repeat myself). So, he’s running as an Independent in the hopes that will prevent the Puddin’ Head Joe stink from sticking on him.
Jill Stein – The scapegoat of Hillary Clinton’s failed 2016 Presidential bid (since Leftists can’t admit the former First Lady is a shitty candidate), Stein is making another run for the White House for the Green Party. If you like recycled ideas that wouldn’t even work in theory, you’ll love her current platform…which appears to be only marginally different than her 2012 and 2016 platforms. I admire the tenacity, but when not even Leftists are willing to give your Leftist squawking points a first look, let alone a second, you might be in the Pat Paulsen category of Presidential candidates: a joke that comes around every 4 years and is forgotten afterwards.
Cornel West – Yes, that Cornel West. I can tell how much of an impact he’s going to have on this year’s election by the fact I didn’t even know he was running until I did research on the candidates. Gotta justify those speaking fees somehow!
Marianne Williamson – One of the few bright spots from the Left in the 2020 election. Sure, she’s nuttier than squirrel shit, but at least she was honest and willing to listen. No wonder Leftists don’t like her. I know she’s suspended her campaign already, but I would be remiss if I didn’t include her.
Other Democrats who some thought might run include Joe Manchin and Michelle Obama. With Manchin being as popular in Leftist circles as Rush Limbaugh in San Francisco, that would be a non-starter. Michelle Obama, on the other hand, still has the popularity she did when she was First Lady, but she said she wasn’t interested in the Presidency.
So, that leaves the Left with jack and shit for potential replacements for Puddin’ Head Joe, and Jack left town. This poses a problem for the Left in 2024 and beyond because they haven’t really developed a solid bench of potential candidates. Even rising stars like California Governor Gavin Newsom and Michigan Governor Gretchen Whitmer have enough baggage to keep them where they are for now. In another 4 years, that may change, but for now the Left’s Presidential candidate bench is shallower than a Taylor Lorenz article. Or, Lorenz herself, for that matter.
In retrospect, the Left may have been better served by losing the 2020 Presidential election because it would have forced them to find better candidates that could have better capitalized on Donald Trump’s unforced errors. Not that they would have had any in the first place, but one can dream. As it stands, though, they have a doddering old fool at the head of the ticket, and a doddering middle age fool backing him up, and the lack of viable replacements is a problem that could cost them the White House for years to come.
Looks like the Left will have to get more dead people to vote!
Leftist Lexicon Word of the Week
There are times when both the Left and the Right get something so completely fucking wrong that I have to call it out. And this is one of those times.
Since the NFL season began, there has been a lot of talk about Taylor Swift, mainly because she’s currently dating potential future song inspiration Travis Kelce of the Kansas City Chiefs. This has garnered a lot of emotions on both sides of the political aisle and for a lot of different reasons.
And if there wasn’t, I wouldn’t have a topic for this week’s Lexicon.
Taylor Swift
What the Left thinks it means – a strong successful woman who scares conservative and Republican football fans
What the Right thinks it means – a nuisance who has ruined the NFL this year and may impact the 2024 election
What it really means – she’s a fucking performer
Sorry to bring the heat so early into this one, but it’s the central point that both sides continue to ignore.
A lot of the heat from the Right when it comes to Taylor Swift is based on how popular she is with both young women and wine moms. These are two demographics that the Right have pissed off in recent months with abortion “bans” (i.e. following the 10th Amendment instead of a fundamentally flawed and politically motivated Supreme Court decision) and…well, that’s pretty much it. Beyond that, there are a few traits both groups exhibit.
Namely, they’re dumbasses who are easily manipulated by Leftists.
Oh, and they hang on everything Taylor Swift does. That point isn’t lost on Leftists, mind you. In fact, they’re banking on it to get women to the polls since Puddin’ Head Joe and Kamala “I Make the President Look Articulate” Harris are about as popular as PETA at a steakhouse. For Leftists who want to keep Puddin’ Head Joe in office…oh, who am I kidding, they want to keep Donald Trump out of office more than they want Puddin’ Head Joe in office, they need to energize as many voters as possible.
Hence, their professed love of Taylor Swift and how she “scares” Republicans and conservatives. And like the Kansas City Chiefs on a short yardage scenario, they are fucking running with this narrative. Facebook, Twitter, and social media in general are filled with this idea that somehow a pretty blonde white woman frightens big bad MAGA folks.
And yet these same Leftists say MAGA is full of white supremacists…who would presumably be in favor of pretty blonde white women…
Fuck it, it doesn’t make sense.
That brings us to the other side of the equation. The Right has built up this outrage over Taylor Swift because she tends to lean to the Left. And given how Swifties follow her like hippies followed the Grateful Dead, the Right is scared of the political sway she has or may have if the Swifties all registered and voted. Plus, there are rumors Swift is going to endorse Puddin’ Head Joe at the Super Bowl, which will mean…not a lot, but it will piss off conservative and Republican football fans.
See, the problem the Right has in their hyperventilation over Taylor Swift is in whether Swifties will turn into voters. Although one Instagram post urging her followers to register to vote garnered over 35,000 new registrations, that is out of…272 million followers as of the date of that post. That’s a whopping 0.00012868% of her followers, kids! I don’t even have an Instagram, but if I did and got the one follower I would presumably have to register to vote, I would outperform Taylor Swift. Also, I bet I could beat her in a chicken wing eating contest, so there’s that.
The point is I like chicken wings, and I can do math. Republicans and conservatives worrying about Swifties rushing out to vote for Puddin’ Head Joe because she says something at the Super Bowl are overestimating the return on investment, for lack of a better term. Yes, she’s influential, but does she move the 2024 needle that much? Probably not, mainly because it would require a sustained effort on Swift’s part to turn her fans into Puddin’ Head Joe fans. And she has shit to do, like write another 14 songs about ex-boyfriends for her next album!
At the end of the day, Taylor Swift only has the power we give her. If we think she’s a potential ally, she’s an ally. If we think she’s a roadblock, she’s a roadblock. If we think she’s a turkey and Swiss on rye with a bit of spicy brown mustard…well, she wouldn’t be, but the point remains. Once we understand the give-and-take of this situation, we can decide how to react.
As for me? I just don’t fucking care.
Taylor Swift is an adult and, as such, she can date who she wants, believe what she wants, and vote for who she wants, as long as all of those actions are done within the confines of the law. If she votes 243 times for Puddin’ Head Joe, though, then she’s fair game for consequences and, quite possibly, a referral to a mental facility. Until then, we owe her the same basic respect we give to a complete stranger: not to stick our noses into his or her business.
Of course, this point will get lost on the extremes of the Taylor Swift kerfuffle because it’s more fun to be pissed off over insignificant bullshit. That’s become our national past time. Screw baseball and football! It’s outrage, baby! If outrage were an Olympic event, we would win the gold, silver, and bronze medals, although the silver and bronze medalists would ask to speak to the Olympics’ manager.
But here’s the thing. You control your outrage, and Taylor Swift doesn’t. Pick your battles better and don’t get swept up in the argle-bargle du jour. In the grand scheme of things, she doesn’t care you don’t like her, nor should you care that she doesn’t care. Fandoms come and go, and the Swifties, too, shall pass.
Just ask anyone from Dexys Midnight Runners.
Leftist Lexicon Word of the Week
With Election 2024 coming up faster than a salmonella and ipecac shake, the political landscape is going to get contentious in a hurry. And nowhere is it getting more contentious than on…MSNBC.
Yes, our good friends at the cable news equivalent of Vox are already sounding the warning bells on the possibility of Donald Trump becoming President again, and their crack talking heads (or talking heads on crack, I can never tell) have figured out what the Left has to overcome: rural America. From a recent “Morning Joe” appearance by Chris Matthews:
I think voters have got to take their hand in this election and don’t wait for the government to do it. Because, you know this election is going to be close. And it’s going to be very close in places like Pennsylvania, and you’re gonna have rural people out there voting their craziness about the cult.
In case you were wondering, the “cult” Mr. Matthews was referring to was…Trump voters. Yeah, I was shocked when I found out, too. And by shocked, I mean shocked someone took Chris Matthews out of cryogenic storage to appear on MSNBC.
Regardless of whether you think Trump voters are in a cult, this little snippet exposes how the Left feels about people who don’t live on the coasts. And it means I have another topic for the Lexicon.
rural America
What the Left thinks it means – a bunch of uneducated rubes who need smart people with the right politics to run their lives
What it really means – people whose voices the Left love to silence or ridicule
For purposes of transparency, I have lived in Iowa my whole life, so I would identify as a rural American. Granted, I don’t have Puddin’ Head Joe’s phone number on speed dial or access to all the most elite dinner parties on either coast, but I do know the people who have the attitude Mr. Matthews expressed usually haven’t been to a rural area for more than the time it takes to get a Starbucks.
Which means most Leftists. But speaking out of abject ignorance is on brand, so they see nothing wrong with it.
The problem is…there’s a lot wrong with it. Painting rural America as a swath of rabid Trump supporters misses the mark. It also misses the Matthew, the Luke, and the John, it’s so off base. The thing about rural America is how diverse it is ideologically, philosophically, and yes, even racially. We’re not all white people here, and we’re definitely not all conservative Republicans.
Take Iowa, for example. As of November 2023, the Hawkeye State is pretty evenly split, with Republicans and that powerhouse of politics Unaffiliated taking the top two spots, and Democrats in a close third place. That doesn’t exactly scream “Trump Republican stronghold” to me. And it certainly doesn’t sound like a cult, unless it’s the world’s lamest cult.
Things get even more murky when you consider the Midwest as a whole. Although it’s mostly a sea of red, there are states like Illinois, Michigan, and Minnesota that buck the trend, and they are certainly rural, or would be considered rural by the MSNBC morons. Yet, in their haste to whip up hysteria about Trump 2.0, they ignore the reality on the ground in those states.
Unfortunately, there are enough people unaware of the reality ready to believe rural America is like the bumpkins on “Hee Haw” only dumber. Including a former Senator from Missouri, Claire McCaskill. On the same show Matthews made the “rural cult” comment, she agreed with him, saying:
…if you are not on Donald Trump’s bandwagon, if you’re not a member of the cult, then you just stay quiet.
And people wonder why she’s no longer a Senator. Oh, wait, it’s because she’s a moron!
Anyway, both Matthews and McCaskill mirror the Left’s attitude about rural America, which has been pretty much a constant since I’ve been an adult. (Biologically, not emotionally.) The Left believe if it doesn’t happen on either coast, it’s dumb and needs to be converted to the “correct” way of thinking. And they’ve been pretty successful, converting states like New Mexico and Colorado from red or purple states into blue ones. They accomplish it like people who get STDs get them: they fuck people. And not unlike the aforementioned STDs, once one person/state gets it, pretty soon another one gets it.
But look at the bright side, kids! Pretty soon all states will need shit maps like San Francisco! Then we’ll all be equal! Won’t that be awesome?
The thing is rural America might not be the intellectual and ideological pushovers the Left thinks it is. People from the backwoods and gravel roads have a lot more life experience than Leftists do, and that shapes who they are more than any college curricula can. They worship God, they hunt and fish, they drive beat-up pickup trucks, and they know the value of a hard day’s work. And, yes, they have different political beliefs. You’re just as likely to find a farmer who votes straight-ticket Democrat as you are a farmer who votes straight-ticket Republican.
And the best part? These two farmers can be friends and/or neighbors without it descending into “Summer of Peace” style anarchy. That shit’s on you coastal Leftist motherfuckers. We may not walk in your circles, but we may not want to in the first place. Rural America is a simpler existence, but not an empty one because we don’t have what Leftist cities have. In fact, I think we might be better off that way.
Should Donald Trump become President again, Leftists won’t change their opinions of rural America. They’ll only quadruple down, saying Trump won because rural America is stupid as they point out the number of “smart” people who voted for Puddin’ Head Joe and Kamala “Word Salad” Harris. Just remember, some of those “smart” people came from rural America and found their way into your ideological bubble in spite of it. To have know-nothings like Chris Matthews, Claire McCaskill, and the entire MSNBC network from top to bottom paint rural America as some right wing feeding ground is not only insulting to me, but should be insulting to every Leftist in rural America who is fighting to bring a little more East and West Coast into the Midwest.
So, to the Leftists who think rural America is a vast intellectual wasteland, I offer two invitations. The first is to come to one of our rural communities and spend six months to a year here. Then, you can see what goes on here and be better informed. Maybe you’ll even like it enough to stay.
Should you reject the first invitation, I formerly invite you all to shut the fuck up about rural America. Thank you. Fuck you. Bye!
Trump and 2024
Donald Trump is officially running for President in 2024. And as a supporter of the former President in 2016 and 2020, I don’t know how I feel about him running again. Especially when he warned Governor DeSantis not to run.
No, Mister President that’s not how its done. We need the best to run for the high office. If that is you then you are already there. If that is someone else, they need to also put their hat in the ring.
In 2016 and in 2020 Donald Trump was the best man for the job and the needed man for the job. The election of 2016 defied all predictions and brought about the needed change in our nation’s capitol. And opened the eyes of the country to the deep corruption that exists in Washington DC.
In 2020 we saw how dangerous the Left really is to our Republic when the election was stolen with fake ballots and the Republicans did nothing about it. The Left does fear Trump that much to steal a Presidential election so blatantly.
So does that make Donald Trump the best candidate still in 2024? I don’t know. The jury is still out on this one. And there is a lot of time between now and the Republican National Convention where the nominee will be determined.
I for one, do want other Republicans to toss their hats into the ring. The more the better. That way we can find the best fit for the job and the times. And we will be able to win the Presidential Election in 2024 despite any attempts by the Left to steal it again.
I’m Not Wild About Harris
I would hate to be President Joe Biden right now. Not only is he presiding over higher inflation, a recession (depending on how the Left is defining it this microsecond), and a job approval rating going further into the basement than he was during the 2020 election, but he has a new problem. A recent New York Times/Siena College poll shows 64% of Democrats polled would rather see someone else run for President in 2024. Granted, media polls are usually as reliable as a Bill Clinton marriage vow, but this still caught my eye.
If the polling data is accurate (and, I must reiterate that’s a pretty big if), it signals a problem not just for the President, but for the Vice President. Since being named as Biden’s running mate, Kamala Harris has been basking in a pretty bright spotlight and expected to do great things. And she has failed spectacularly on all fronts, with the Vice President’s approval ratings being slightly higher than the President’s. Granted, that’s a pretty low bar these days, but it’s still telling.
Even with Harris being more popular, she doesn’t seem to be as prominent as she was during the campaign and early in the Administration. A large part of this stems from her seeming awkwardness in situations that require a bit more attention to reading the room. Whether it’s laughing at inappropriate times while discussion serious topics or turning a speech into a word smoothie (since it’s long since ceased being a word salad), the Vice President still doesn’t seem to have her executive sea legs under her.
Nothing shows this better than her relative invisibility within her own party over Senate matters. Leftists will say this is because of Senators Joe Manchin and Kyrsten Sinema being disloyal Democrats, but there’s a lot more at work here. For one, Senate Democrats (and Democrats in general, to be honest) have taken a hard line on pending legislation and various issues that have arisen since 2021. Instead of trying to keep the aforementioned Senators on board or getting RINOs like Mitt Romney, Susan Collins, or Lisa Murkowski to join them, there’s been some real antagonism going on, so much so it reminds me a lot of high school.
Now, if you remember your civics classes, the Vice President is President of the Senate and can break ties. And right now, the Senate is split right down the middle, with two Independents caucusing with the Democrats. This should be a layup for a party looking to set up Harris for future political success.
Yet, it’s not happening. Some of this can be attributed to the Senate being more contentious than a hostage situation where neither side wants the hostage, but I think there’s an undercurrent of distrust of Harris at play as well. And it goes back to being set up to succeed, only to fail.
Democrats caught lightning in a bottle when they found Barack Obama. Say what you will about the former President (and, trust me, I have), but he was able to cobble together a pretty solid voting bloc that helped him win 2 terms as President. It didn’t hurt that he ran against two Republicans who made Michael Dukakis look like William the Conqueror, but his coalition was still pretty tight.
The problems with catching lightning in a bottle are a) it tends to hurt, and b) it’s hard to do. With Kamala Harris, the initial feeling was she was going to be the female Obama and even managed to get the former President’s seal of approval (or kiss of death, as the case may be).
Then, she ran for President and got crushed. A lot of it came down to the fact she didn’t really connect with voters the way Obama did. From my perspective, she came off as someone who could recite carefully-crafted lines, but couldn’t make them sound genuine or like they were her words in the first place. A crowded Democrat field didn’t help matters any, either, and she failed to stand out as a candidate.
Let me put it this way. I got the same number of delegates in 2020 that she did, and I wasn’t even running.
Fast forward to 2022, and very little has changed with Harris. She still doesn’t seem comfortable in her role and her big policy initiative of dealing with immigration issues has been pretty dismal. It’s almost like she goes through life perpetually unprepared for the big test, but expecting she can fake her way through it because…reasons.
The fact Senate Democrats haven’t relied on Harris as their ace in the hole tells me they may not think she’s as much of an asset as she was in 2020, and it doesn’t bode well if Joe Biden doesn’t run again in 2024 or gets pushed out in favor of someone else. Usually, the Vice President is expected to be capable of picking up the mantle and winds up on the short list of possible Presidential candidates, but I’m not getting that feeling from the Left right now. Some of that is disappointment at not being able to get some of the Left’s current pet projects (forgiving student loan debt, a living wage, figuring out how many bathrooms they need to put in government buildings to accommodate the growing number of genders), but I can’t lay all of that at Harris’ feet. Instead, I think the reason the Vice President isn’t being seriously considered right now to take the big step into the Oval Office is because Leftists have come to the realization she’s not up to the task.
Imagine that. A person elevated to high office because she checked off a certain number of boxes that have nothing to do with competence isn’t working out that well! Who could have seen that coming, right? I mean, aside from anyone who’s followed the rise and fall within Leftist circles of Kyrsten Sinema, but I’m sure that’s just a coincidence. Surely, it can’t happen again…oh, wait…
I have to admit I feel a little sorry for Kamala Harris right now. She’s been thrust into a position she’s not ready for and knows she’s not ready for, but is still expected to perform at a high level. Even with a sympathetic press and a party that outwardly supports her, there is that seed of doubt that keeps growing exponentially with each new blunder, policy failure, and attempt to string together sentences that don’t sound like they came from an AI programmed by Paris Hilton. Even for someone with the ego of a politician, that has to wear on you over time.
Unless you’re an idiot. Then, you seem to have the super power of ignoring your shortcomings. You know, like Eric Swalwell?
Either way, I don’t think the Vice President will be gaining a vote of confidence from the people who voted her into office in the first place.
Should He Stay or Should He Go?
One of the most pressing political questions on people’s minds right now (aside from how much Nancy Pelosi has had to drink) is whether former President Donald Trump will run for President in 2024. That may be a closely guarded secret, even moreso than the Nancy Pelosi question. A lot of people are sure he’s going to run while others are convinced he’s either not going to run or will be in prison by 2024, thus making it a moot point.
The fact is no one knows for sure. I’m not even sure if Trump knows yet, but in the interest of whipping up more wild speculation online, I did some thinking on the subject and I think I have some points to consider. Granted, I’m not inside the former President’s head, so I can’t say for certain what you’re about to read is accurate, but I can tell you it’s bound to be a lot more accurate than any reporting done by Vox. (A low bar, sure, but hey, I gotta start somewhere.)
He’s Running
1) His base is still pretty strong – Contrary to Leftist belief, Donald Trump still remains pretty popular within Republican and conservative ranks. The fact he still polls higher than most candidates after being out of office is a testament to his staying power within the GOP. And his supporters are still on board the Trump Train, no matter what. Honestly, I’d have to go back to Ronald Reagan to find a Republican with that kind of supporter loyalty, which is a testament to Trump.
2) He’ll be running against a weak field on both sides – Let’s face it. Neither major party has a deep bench going into 2024. On the Left we have President Joe Biden, who I’m not sure knows he is President, and possibly Vice President Kamala Harris, whose word salads make Biden look like William F. Buckley. Although there may be more challengers to the left of Biden and Harris, they may not jump into the race out of fear of being Bernie Sanders-ed. On the other side of the aisle, no one seems to be jumping out as a front runner. There is talk of Florida Governor Ron DeSantis being a front-runner for the Republicans, but as of yet, there has been no confirmation he’s running. That leaves Donald Trump to fill the void.
3) Unfinished business – In recent decades, we’ve gotten used to Presidents serving two terms, which makes it easier for Presidents to postpone certain pet projects until later in his Presidency. With Joe Biden winning in 2020, that interrupts or completely scuttles Trump’s plans…or does it? If Trump feels he has more to do, he may throw his hat into the ring as a means to get things done, and with 4 more years, it will be interesting to see what he takes on and how quickly it gets done. Operation Warp Speed may get left in the dust.
4) Sticking it to the Left – If there’s one thing Donald Trump is good at, it’s tweaking the Left. If you though Leftists’ heads exploded the first time, wait until Trump runs again, even if it’s just to get a predictable response out of them. If life gave out achievements like video games do, Trump would get the Trolling Leftists achievement without even really trying.
5) New voting laws for old voter fraud – In the aftermath of the 2020 election, some Republican-lead states enacted new voting laws, much to the chagrin of the Left. In spite of their caterwauling, Republicans put together some pretty solid proposals to restrict voter fraud where possible while taking some of the Left’s concerns about access to the polls into consideration. Since Trump’s post-Presidency legacy has revolved around voter fraud, he may use this as a platform to reenter the Presidential race and whip up support for this pet project.
He’s Not Running
1) Been there, done that – Trump has already been President once, and it’s caused a lot of headaches for him and his family, due in no small part to Leftists. At this point, even he has to wonder if it was worth it the first time around. To run again and possibly win opens up old wounds, rekindles old rivalries, and creates another level of emotional strain. Being President even once isn’t wussy work, and it takes a strong resolve and a stronger family to do it twice. Since he’s been President once, there may not be a desire to do it again.
2) The DeSantis factor – I know I mentioned Ron DeSantis earlier as not being in the race yet, but the possibility of him entering the race can’t be discounted yet. Since becoming Governor, DeSantis has shown many of the positive traits Trump supporters love while mitigating some of the negative traits that hurt Trump. From a strategic standpoint, if DeSantis can deliver the Trump agenda without the drawbacks, it may be better for the former President to step aside and delegate authority.
3) He’s a known entity – One of the things that frustrated the Left in 2016 was how Trump was able to beat Hillary Clinton. Although he’s spent a lot of time in the public eye (sometimes for the wrong reasons), there were still a lot of question marks surrounding his political savvy. In 4 years, though, many of those question marks have been answered because we’ve seen how he governed. He no longer has the element of surprise he did in 2016. Without it, he is more vulnerable.
4) The Agony of Defeat – It’s no secret Donald Trump has an ego, as do most politicians. What sets him apart from most politicians is how much of his ego is wrapped up in what he’s done or able to do. It was evident from when he was dealing in real estate in the 80s, when he was starring in “The Apprentice,” and when he was sitting in the White House. As such, the 2020 election loss stung him. This sets up a conflict within himself should he run again. His ego will not accept him losing a second time, but it may force him to run again to avenge the loss. Regardless of the decision, the possibility of losing again may be a deciding factor in whether he runs in 2024.
5) Voter fraud is still a concern – In spite of the aforementioned new voting laws, Leftists still have ways to play the system, thanks to our old friend Uncle George Soros. As we saw in 2020, it’s not only important to have the votes to win, but to have people in place to certify you have the votes to win. That’s where Uncle George has placed a lot of his faith (and more than a few dollars and candidates). Even with the new laws, voter fraud may be a concern, one that Trump may not be able to overcome.
I’m sure there are some factors I’ve missed, but I think I’ve hit enough of the big ones to get people to think and offer up their own wild-ass speculations!
Leftist Lexicon Word of the Week
The world has some really evil people in it, but there is one who is at the top of the heap. His actions have caused thousands of COVID-19 deaths, threatened millions more, and doesn’t follow the science like the way we’re told it has to be followed. I’m speaking of, of course, Florida Governor Ron DeSantis.
Or at least that’s what the Left thinks of him.
With the attention DeSantis has garnered with the Left, I think it would be worthwhile to do a deep dive into the Governor to see if we can pinpoint why the Left hates him with the passion of a thousand suns.
Ron DeSantis
What the Left thinks it means – a cruel, incompetent governor who will kill as many people as he can through bad decisions
What it really means – Donald Trump with better impulse control
I think we’ve hit on the main reason the Left hates DeSantis, but more on that later.
Trying to keep track of how well different governors have been doing with the pandemic is like trying to calculate the color bleen: theoretically possible, but more likely to be maddening, and definitely pointless. While the sensible thing would be to count the number of cases and the number of deaths, the Left kept changing the rules to soften the blow of the multiple custerfucks from Democrat governors and to criticize Republican governors who had enough sense to, you know, not put COVID-19 patients in nursing homes where those susceptible to it were.
Among these eeeeevillll Republican governors was Ron DeSantis. While the Left fawned over Andrew “Sexual Assault and Letting Old People Die Are a Part of My Culture” Cuomo, DeSantis actually did the job Cuomo was being lauded for doing without actually doing it. And for that, the Left hates him.
Well, along with being a threat to the Left’s plans to keep the White House in 2024. And given how the current guy is doing, DeSantis only needs to keep breathing to beat him. If you think the Left had a hate boner for Donald Trump, prepare for one that will last far more than four years and will not require seeing a doctor because DeSantis dares to do something Donald Trump did and continues to do: call out the Left when they lie about him.
Let’s just say the Left has been very busy lying about DeSantis.
As I’ve noted before, the Left hates anybody who fights back against them in any way, and I do mean any. Even a marginal disagreement over policy can turn you in to persona non grata in Leftist circles. Just as Lawrence Summers, a former Harvard President whose only crime was to note men and women are better at different tasks and fields of study. How scandalous! When it comes to DeSantis, though, the Left have been having fits over how he and his communications director keep calling them out.
Of course, Leftists have fits at the drop of a hat, so that’s nothing new.
There is a line of thought that the reason Leftists are going so hard at DeSantis is because they’re afraid he’s going to run in 2024. I agree with this to a point, but I think there’s a bigger fear at work here. The Left is afraid of a 2016 repeat where a candidate who wasn’t supposed to win actually does. It wasn’t that long ago that the Left underestimated Donald Trump (when they weren’t using him as a ratings boost, I might add) and miscalculated just how unpopular Hillary Clinton was (or at least how clueless the Left is when it comes to acknowledging the screamingly obvious).
If current trends continue, 2024 is going to come down to an established Leftist pawn…I mean candidate in Joe Biden, an inexperienced Leftist pawn…I mean candidate in Kamala Harris, and whomever the Republicans put forward. If current trends continue further, the Republican candidate is going to be Ron DeSantis, which works against the Left. Whether the Left supports the doddering old fool or the doddering young fool, they will have a hard sell for the American people, although not as hard a sell as when they tried to convince people to vote for Hillary.
The other aspect that scares the ever-loving bat snot out of the Left is DeSantis isn’t as unpredictable as Donald Trump was. Oh, DeSantis is as passionate and driven as Trump was, but he has a better control over his passions and words, which makes him Trump 2.0: all the Leftist butt-whuppin’ with a smaller likelihood of mangling the English language. That alone makes DeSantis dangerous to the Left. Oh, they’ll still paint him as a racist/sexist/homophobic/bigoted/fascist/religious nutjob/Hitler-wannabe, but it won’t affect him while having the potential to pimp-slap the Left in the process. Because…lack of self-awareness.
While DeSantis isn’t going to be everyone’s cup of Earl Gray (I’m looking at you, Lincoln Project), there is something to be said of someone who doesn’t take shit from Leftists and lets them know exactly what he feels about them. If some people have their way, that something will be “Mister President.”
For others, it will be “Skippy.” Don’t ask me why.