Tag: robert kennedy jr

If you’ve been paying attention to the Left in recent years (and to be fair why would you since you have jobs and lives), you’ve heard about the Great Replacement Theory. In short, it’s the belief Jews are bringing in immigrants to replace white people. Of course, it’s wrong because without white people, Leftists would have no one to blame for shit.

But those same Leftists are facing their own Great Replacement Theory, but it has nothing to do with race or ethnicity. It has to do with who will be running for President for the Democrats in 2024.

The current presumptive candidate is President Puddin’ Head Joe, but given his propensity to, oh I don’t know, be a feeble-minded buffoon on a good day, the Left is trying to figure out what to do if his mental and/or physical health continues to deteriorate. To put it mildly, their options are scarcer than meat options at a vegan barbecue. Let’s take a look at these wieners…I mean winners.

Kamala Harris – Current Vice President and leader in the Government Official Who Makes Puddin’ Head Joe Look Sentient contest. Her list of accomplishments to date have been impressive…in just how blank the list is. Her popularity is somewhere between Bidenomics and Ben Shapiro at the BET Music Awards, and only one of those has a good beat that you can dance to. Leftists are trying to replace her, so elevating her to the Presidency would be a step in the wrong direction.

Dean Phillips – The “Who Is He?” candidate. To his credit, Phillips has brought up Puddin’ Head Joe’s age and low approval rates as reasons to find someone else. But as those calls have gotten louder in Leftist circles, it hasn’t moved the needle on his candidacy. And given how his party treated Robert Kennedy Jr., it’s not surprising so many are still Ridin’ With Biden even if that ride ends up at the bottom of a ravine. And speaking of Mr. Kennedy…

Robert Kennedy Jr. – Noted vaccine skeptic and bane of the Left’s existence because he didn’t Trust The Science. Much has been made of how his anti-vaccination stance has negatively impacted his extended family, but not much has been made of…how can I put this…his being fucking right about the COVID-19 vaccine. Since the narrative of his “homewrecking” has become the go-to for the Leftist hivemind, it’s unlikely he’ll get a fair shake or an honest hearing from Leftists and the media (but I repeat myself). So, he’s running as an Independent in the hopes that will prevent the Puddin’ Head Joe stink from sticking on him.

Jill Stein – The scapegoat of Hillary Clinton’s failed 2016 Presidential bid (since Leftists can’t admit the former First Lady is a shitty candidate), Stein is making another run for the White House for the Green Party. If you like recycled ideas that wouldn’t even work in theory, you’ll love her current platform…which appears to be only marginally different than her 2012 and 2016 platforms. I admire the tenacity, but when not even Leftists are willing to give your Leftist squawking points a first look, let alone a second, you might be in the Pat Paulsen category of Presidential candidates: a joke that comes around every 4 years and is forgotten afterwards.

Cornel West – Yes, that Cornel West. I can tell how much of an impact he’s going to have on this year’s election by the fact I didn’t even know he was running until I did research on the candidates. Gotta justify those speaking fees somehow!

Marianne Williamson – One of the few bright spots from the Left in the 2020 election. Sure, she’s nuttier than squirrel shit, but at least she was honest and willing to listen. No wonder Leftists don’t like her. I know she’s suspended her campaign already, but I would be remiss if I didn’t include her.

Other Democrats who some thought might run include Joe Manchin and Michelle Obama. With Manchin being as popular in Leftist circles as Rush Limbaugh in San Francisco, that would be a non-starter. Michelle Obama, on the other hand, still has the popularity she did when she was First Lady, but she said she wasn’t interested in the Presidency.

So, that leaves the Left with jack and shit for potential replacements for Puddin’ Head Joe, and Jack left town. This poses a problem for the Left in 2024 and beyond because they haven’t really developed a solid bench of potential candidates. Even rising stars like California Governor Gavin Newsom and Michigan Governor Gretchen Whitmer have enough baggage to keep them where they are for now. In another 4 years, that may change, but for now the Left’s Presidential candidate bench is shallower than a Taylor Lorenz article. Or, Lorenz herself, for that matter.

In retrospect, the Left may have been better served by losing the 2020 Presidential election because it would have forced them to find better candidates that could have better capitalized on Donald Trump’s unforced errors. Not that they would have had any in the first place, but one can dream. As it stands, though, they have a doddering old fool at the head of the ticket, and a doddering middle age fool backing him up, and the lack of viable replacements is a problem that could cost them the White House for years to come.

Looks like the Left will have to get more dead people to vote!