With President Brick Tamland announcing he was not limping…I mean running for reelection, the eyes of the world turned to Vice President Kamala Harris as the heiress apparent. And that means we get to do a deep dive into her accomplishments so far.
Fortunately for us, that deep dive doesn’t take that long since she’s accomplished what other Vice Presidents before her did: Jack Shit, and Jack left town.
But one role she had was Border Czar. Or not, depending on who you ask. In true Tamland fashion, she was put in charge of looking into the reason why so many illegal immigrants are coming here. (Spoiler Alert: it’s because we have the best free shit in the world.) And in true Harris fashion, she visited El Paso and called it a day. But she hadn’t been to Europe, either, so it’s totes cool, guys!
While the Left tries to figure out what excuse to use to try to cover up Harris’s ineptitude on the border, it gives us a chance to wade into the wonderful world of what a Border Czar even is.
Border Czar
What the Left thinks it means – a title bestowed upon Vice President Harris by evil Republicans to try to connect her to the border crisis (which doesn’t exist, by the way)
What it really means – a meaningless title given to a meaningless figurehead
The concept of policy czars has been around for a while. The first ones came about during the Franklin Delano Roosevelt Presidency to address certain aspects of World War II and the economy, but later expanded into areas like combating drug abuse, reading, and weatherizing. (And I wish I was kidding about those last two.)
Put bluntly, being a policy czar today is like being salutatorian of summer school: only a few people actually care about it and even fewer will remember it. And in the end nothing gets done, really.
Which means it’s a perfect gig for someone with a lot of time on his or her hands and who isn’t expected to succeed in any meaningful way. You know, like the Vice President.
It also means it shouldn’t be done just to put a body in a seat when it come to addressing a high profile issue like illegal immigration. Depending on which lie you want to believe, our southern border is either perfectly secure (but Republicans are totally to blame for record-breaking crossings) or less secure than an unlocked Ferrari in South Central LA. And for your eagle-eyed readers out there who click on the links, you’ll notice these statements come from two different members…of the same Administration. But you know who didn’t weigh in on the border situation?
The fucking Border Czar herself.
Now, I’m no policy wonk, but I would think one of the most important elements of being a Border Czar is presenting a consistent, fact-based message. Unfortunately for us, the Tamland Administration’s consistency is in denying the problem exists until it gets to a point where they have to do something to make it look like they’re doing something. Meanwhile, illegal immigration is still very much an issue, despite Harris’s brilliant message to some looking to enter the country illegally: do not come.
Well, Kams, they’re not listening. Or maybe they’re trying to figure out your message amidst the vomited word salads you frequently put out there as cogent statements.
Maybe that’s why the Left is trying to scrub the collective memories of the general public by denying she was the Border Czar. After all, Kamala Harris has to beat Donald Trump, even though she’s never won a national election by herself yet. The last time she tried to win the Presidency she pulled out of the race before the Iowa Caucuses after Tulsi Gabbard bitch-slapped her into oblivion.
It also means I got the same number of delegates Harris did and I didn’t even run.
It’s clear Harris’s role as Border Czar has been a dismal failure (and I’m being verrrrrrrrrrrrry generous here). This begs the question of why we need one in the first place, especially considering we already have one: the President. If you remember your civics homework (or in the case of Leftists if you’re hearing this for the first time since you blew off civics to protest), the Executive Branch is responsible for enforcing the laws of his country. That means the President and his staff are the Czars and they’re not doing a good job.
That means anybody who is called a Czar becomes a lightning rod to absorb any criticism for when they fuck up their one jobs. But, as with so many government jobs, you can’t be fired for being incompetent. If anything, it’s a career enhancer. (See the current President and Vice President for two examples.) Plus, you get a nice stipend and a government pension, and that much capital goes a long way to fix any hurt feefees.
But the immigration problem is still there. Pretty soon we’ll have to throw the concept of the Border Czar on top of the pile of other well-meaning, but poorly-executed government ideas, like the War on Drugs, the War on Poverty, and making the Socialist Socialite a Congresswoman. Yet, there isn’t really much of a will to do anything about the problem from the Czar on down because there’s too much to be gained by both sides of the issue. The Left use illegal immigration to help their candidates win and create a “humanitarian crisis” that only Big Daddy Government can fix. The Right use illegal immigration to create scary scenarios where all the jobs are taken, only violent criminals make it across, and no one but them can fix the problem.
But where the Right gets it right (see what I did there?) is in pointing out the national security aspect of illegal immigration. Open borders, such as the kind promoted by the Tamland Administration, create gaps in our security network. And with Leftist dipshits on record as not wanting to even look for illegal immigrants let alone deport them, those gaps are going to get wider and harder to close. Worse yet, we don’t have much of a strategy for dealing with the implications.
Certainly this is something a President (or a prospective President) should take seriously enough to do more than appoint some toadie to do nothing and get paid for doing it. The last guy who even attempted that got called all sorts of names, ironically by some of the people currently in charge of the failed border policy but are now trying to copy what Donald Trump did. See, President Tamland can’t help but plagiarize!
Ultimately, though, we don’t need a Border Czar in the same way we don’t need an extended warranty for a beater from Uncle Sleazy’s It Was Like That When We Got It Used Car Emporium where their motto is “No Refunds.” It’s a worthless position that should already be covered by the existing leadership structure.
Then again, this is the federal government we’re talking about here. Expecting leadership in Washington is like expecting the hooker to fall in love with you after you pay her. Not that I know anything about that, mind you…
Tag: illegal immigration
Leftist Lexicon Word of the Week
Unless you’ve been living under a rock (or in Amish country), you’ve heard the term “border crisis” tossed about like a frisbee at a stoner festival in Colorado on 4/20. While the Puddin’ Head Joe Administration has been busy handling the really important issues, like finding out who has been buying Bibles, the southern border has seen numerous illegal immigrants crossing practically at will. And it’s left officials in southern states looking for help.
Maybe they haven’t heard about the Bible buying epidemic.
It was only when Texas Governor Greg Abbott did something (and by something, I mean a few things) about the situation that the Left got upset. I mean, how else are they going to make illegal immigrants vote Democrat if they aren’t allowed to enter the country illegally?
Seriously, though, we need to dig deeper into the border crisis because…well, there’s a lot of shit behind it.
border crisis
What the Left thinks it means – an overblown non-issue that shows how Republicans hate immigrants
What it really means – a serious crisis caused by both major parties giving zero fucks about immigrants
The history of immigration laws in America is…well, a little on the confusing side. Put simply, a country that was founded at least in part on immigration from foreign lands decided to limit immigration in 1965 because…reasons, I guess? But that hasn’t stopped people from wanting to come to America, and it certainly hasn’t stopped people from taking shortcuts to come to the Land of the Free and the Home of Anchor Babies and Green Card Marriages.
Since illegal immigrants tend not to fill out census forms, it’s estimated that there are over 11 million of them in America right now. That’s over 10 Rhode Islands and almost 20 Wyomings. And keep in mind this is just an estimate. The actual number could be higher or lower, but the fact it’s more than the populations of all but 7 states tells me there’s an issue.
Not that the Left agrees there is an issue, mind you. The Puddin’ Head Joe Administration has gone from claiming the southern border is secure to saying it would be secure if it weren’t for those pesky Republicans and their dog to saying it hasn’t been secure for a decade. Even Mitt “I Ain’t Shit” Romney tried to blame Donald Trump for the border crisis.
Good thing Kamala Harris the border czar or we’d be fucked! Oh, wait, we are, and it’s not just because Vice President Word Salad has zero ideas of what to do.
The fact is the past 3 years of the Puddin’ Head Joe Administration’s border policy has resulted in more, not less, illegal immigration. But now that the 2024 elections are coming up and voters see the President as less effective on the border than a bubble pipe in a gang war, they’re going to get serious and…adopt some of the same policies they decried as racist and xenophobic when Trump suggested them. Brilliant!
Even if Puddin’ Head Joe goes full MAGA, it’s not going to solve the border crisis. And the same will happen if Donald Trump wins the Presidency again, and it’s for the same reason: because the majority of politicians don’t want to solve the problem. Remember, one of my immutable truths of life is government is not in the problem-solving business. For the Left, there is too much money and power to be gained by letting people enter the country like hookers and blow at Hunter Biden’s place. For the Right, there is too much money and power to be gained by stoking the fear illegal immigrants are taking American jobs and taking money out of social programs. And any attempts to change the status quo is going to piss off one side or the other.
So, why not piss them off by doing something?
The fact so many Leftists are going after Governor Abbott for securing the southern border of his state and for sending illegal immigrants to sanctuary cities is a sign they know how bad the border crisis is and are freaking out that a Republican governor had the balls to hold the Left at their word. Throw in Ron Desantis, and you have two Republicans willing to do something about the problem.
And now that several other Republican governors are backing Abbott’s play? The Left is in full-blown freak out mode, or should be if they were aware of the implications of the policies they’ve been pimping for years.
And they aren’t. They’re too busy either trying to continue to spin Puddin’ Head Joe’s border failures as not his fault or looking for an alternate candidate to support, like…oh, I don’t know…Nikki Haley? Either way, the Left can’t bullshit their way out of this. Their hands are pretty dirty, which given how they don’t like to work, is ironic, don’t ya think?
However, I would be remiss if I didn’t mention the Right’s failures on the border. Yes, Donald Trump promised a border wall, but there are ways to avoid the walls altogether, such as tunnels under the wall or into states where they give illegal immigrants a pass, like California. Throw in the growing fentanyl epidemic being funneled through these and other tunnels and human trafficking being done in conjunction with illegal immigration and you have a multi-front problem that neither major party has any idea of how to address. It’s one thing to show compassion to those who are seeking asylum due to political violence or civil unrest, but it’s another thing to let every Tomas, Ricardo, and Hernando across the border under the assumption they’re asylum seekers.
But that’s the Left’s plan. By lumping those attempting to go through proper channels to come to America with those just looking to get free shit, the Left paints a picture that doesn’t match what’s going on in an attempt to get you to let your emotions override your logic. As long as the border crisis continues, the Left will use this tactic to take your mind off the ever-rising numbers coming into America through dishonest means.
But that’s why we should counter the pulling of the heartstrings with hard numbers and logic. The border crisis is no longer about alleged asylum seekers, but encompasses more criminal activities the longer we sit around with our thumbs up our asses. First off, that’s very uncomfortable and may lead to carpel tunnel syndrome. Second, and more importantly, we’re playing with human lives here. Taking a stand against the Immigrat-a-palooza going on under Puddin’ Head Joe and the ineffective “solutions” that take no real action to secure our border is the only way I know to respect our national sovereignty and protect as many people as we can on both sides of the border.
Then, maybe American can return to the Land of the Free and the Home of the 99 Cent Menu at Taco Bell.
Leftist Lexicon Word of the Week
The latest battleground for the fight over illegal immigration is a lot further north than you might expect. I’m talking about the Leftist haven, Martha’s Vineyard. It turns out Texas Governor Greg Abbott and Florida Governor Ron DeSantis decided to fly several immigrants to Martha’s Vineyard to show them a better life. You know, Leftist utopias where everyone is super educated and live incredibly well? Away from conservative hellholes where racism, sexism, xenophobia, and homophobia are rampant and the people are uneducated rubes?
Well, let’s just say Leftists aren’t greeting their new immigrant neighbors with open arms. In fact, Leftists are circulating the idea the aforementioned Governors with brass balls the size of, say, Pluto are guilty of human trafficking. And by circulating, I mean repeating the same squawking points with steadily increasing volume and frequency. As we’re about to find out, the squawking point has a deeper origin than even the Left has considered.
human trafficking
What the Left thinks it means – Republican Governors sending asylum seekers to other parts of the country against their will
What it really means – Leftists not understanding the issue, like, at all
Illegal immigration has a number of facets that often get glossed over in the debate on what to do with the immigrants we catch, and human trafficking is one such facet. And it’s not a once-in-a-while problem, either. The 2021 numbers show a stark picture of the scope of the human trafficking problem, but those are just the cases we know about. Government agencies from ICE to Customs and Border Protection and non-government organizations like the ACLU are sounding the alarm and efforts to reach as many people as possible are evident to anyone who’s used a convenience store bathroom can tell.
Good thing Leftists aren’t trying to demonize and/or eliminate ICE and the Border Patrol, right? Oh, wait…
So, what exactly is human trafficking? There are a number of definitions floating around there, but the general consensus involves the exploitation of people for sex, work, or services through coercion, deception, or force. For the purposes of this discussion, though, I want to use the definition provided by the United Nations:
Human trafficking involves the recruitment, movement or harbouring of people for the purpose of exploitation – such as sexual exploitation, forced labour, slavery or organ removal. Victims can be children or adults, boys, girls, men or women, and are trafficked by the use of improper means such as the threat or use of force, fraudulent schemes, deception, or abuse of power. It can occur within a country or across borders. Human trafficking is therefore characterized by an act (recruitment, transportation, transfer, harbouring, or receipt of people), specific means (threats or use of force, deception, fraud, abuse of power, or abusing someone’s vulnerable condition) for the purpose of exploitation (for example sexual exploitation, forced labour, slavery or organ removal).
To the Left, what DeSantis and Abbott are doing fits the UN’s definition of human trafficking perfectly because, as they frame it, they are exploiting the immigrants for political points. And since they’re being flown to different parts of the country, it’s a slam dunk, right?
Not so much. One of the aspects of the UN’s definition is recruitment. Both Abbott and DeSantis have been vocal in their efforts to try to stem the tide of illegal immigration, with Abbott taking specific action to enforce immigration law which the federal government doesn’t seem to want to do. And considering Florida and Texas are two of the top 3 states of reported human trafficking cases, I’m thinking DeSantis and Abbott might just have a vested interest in not encouraging any activity that would make those numbers worse.
In fact, it’s not Republicans who are rolling out the red carpet for illegal immigration. It’s the Democrats. By framing every immigrant as either escaping horrible conditions or wanting to make a better life here, they have done to illegal immigration what Glamour Shots did for housewives in the 80s and 90s: using tricks to hide or soften the imperfections and give a beautiful, albeit distorted, view of the subject.
Now, consider what impact that has on human trafficking. The Left makes no distinction between Raul who crosses the border illegally to find work and Pedro who crosses the border illegally to make money by exploiting people of all ages to fill the needs and wants of his clients. Maybe it’s me, but I think there’s a huge fucking difference here. Both are breaking the law, but only one of them drags other people with him into exploitation.
No wonder the Left wants people to think DeSantis and Abbott are the evil ones here. Well, that, and the fact they’re both Republicans who aren’t afraid of Leftists not liking them. If Leftists admit there are bad actors (and I’m not talking about Brie Larson) mixed in with the “good guys” coming across the border…illegally, it would not only ruin the rosy picture they’ve been painting for decades, but it would lend credence to what DeSantis and Abbott have been saying. And Lord knows Leftists hate to admit they were wrong.
There’s another reason the Left is freaking out about illegal immigrants heading to Martha’s Vineyard: DeSantis and Abbott are forcing Leftists to live by their own ideas. Remember when Leftist communities were fighting each other to get attention for being “sanctuary cities”? Well, it’s easy to make such proclamations when you aren’t dealing with a steady influx of illegal immigrants. You know, like Martha’s Vineyard? Once the immigrants start arriving, the Leftist welcome mats start disappearing, along with the signs saying “No person is illegal.”
The late comedian George Carlin made an observation about homelessness that has some application here in the form of the abbreviation NIMBY, which means Not In My Back Yard. Leftists talk a great game when it comes to helping people (usually in the form of more government), but they don’t always walk the walk when presented with the opportunity, as the citizens of Martha’s Vineyard have now.
Annnnnnnd they decided to ship their new neighbors to a military complex because…reasons?
Your compassion is underwhelming, Leftists.
When it comes to human trafficking, though, we need much more than words and stickers on bathroom mirrors. Yet, I’m not sure America is quite ready for the discussion and action needed to make real change. Both sides of the political spectrum have a vested interest in keeping the illegal immigration and subsequently the human trafficking issues alive to retain power over their respective voting blocs. But we’re dealing with human lives here, and there shouldn’t be an ideological divide. Yet, here we are.
And the Left isn’t helping matters any by throwing around accusations of human trafficking against two of the Republican Governors who have given the the most fits in the past few years. At the rate it’s going now, Leftists are going to wear out the “human trafficking” label like they’ve worn out the “fascist” label by overusing it to the point of irrelevance.
Then again, if you had as horrible a record on human trafficking as the Left does, you’d want to bring everyone else down to your level, too.
So, How’s That Sanctuary City Thing Working Out?
Remember when Leftists were all about setting up “sanctuary cities” to let illegal immigrants know they would be safe there? It became a race to see which communities would be the next to proudly proclaim “We don’t care if you broke the law to come here because we won’t enforce the law!” And for a while, it worked. It was a quick way to earn woke points and to use a souped-up Wagner Power Painter to paint anyone who disagreed with it as racist, xenophobic, insensitive, kid-haters who wanted these poor souls to die.
That worked pretty well for communities that were pretty far away from the US/Mexican border, but Texas Governor Greg Abbott had an idea: help the illegal immigrants get to the sanctuary cities. In a pure “fuck around and find out” move, Abbott started busing migrants to Washington, DC, and New York City. I mean, since those two cities are known sanctuary cities, Leftists should be thrilled that Abbott was adding to their diversity!
Not so much.
DC Mayor Muriel Bowser was the first to feel the brunt of the move, resulting in her requesting assistance from the National Guard to deal with the influx. And in a completely expected move, the Department of Defense denied her request.
Then there’s New York Mayor Eric Adams. Apparently he’s not too happy at Abbott busing immigrants to his sanctuary city. Even Leftists are calling out Adams’ reaction to the situation, albeit while spitting venom at Abbott and Arizona Governor Doug Ducey for sending immigrants to sanctuary cities.
Which is odd, given how Leftists have rolled out the red carpet for illegal immigrants. You would think they would be thrilled to live up to their word. Ahhhh, that’s the problem. Leftists love setting up rules for themselves and different rules for everyone else. While January 6th protesters get the Library of Congress thrown at them for trespassing, illegal immigrants get treated with kid gloves for doing pretty much the same thing, albeit with fewer federal agents…I mean “concerned citizens.”
Although the potential overwhelming of sanctuary cities was enough to get Leftists to get pissed, there is an underlying cause I don’t think even they want to admit. And it all stems from Saul Alinsky’s Rules for Radicals. Although a few of his ideas would apply here, the one I find is the crux of the Leftist freakout is Rule 4: Make the enemy live up to its own book of rules. This not only exposes the hypocrisy of the opposing entity, but it opens up opportunities for ridicule and criticism that the entity cannot legitimately counter.
Guess what Abbott did, kids.
By sending immigrants to sanctuary cities, Abbott has effectively showing the Left’s commitment to the concept to be a light year long and a micron deep, which to be honest was always the case. Leftists don’t want actual solutions to the illegal immigration problem since they benefit too much from the problem’s existence. But they can’t really come out and say that because doing so would expose the scam they’ve been running for decades. The advent of sanctuary cities is just the new selling point to get people to circumvent federal law and live off the generosity of American taxpayers.
And before you Leftists say “but they pay taxes, too,” there’s a bit of a difference between paying sales tax and income tax, namely the enforcement arm of the latter being a lot less nice about those who don’t pay up. Oh, and the fact they could be packing heat. More on that another time.
Say what you will about Greg Abbott (and, believe me, Leftists have), but you have to admit his solution to the illegal immigration problem was clever on a political level. Although his intended purpose was to alleviate the real border issues he faces on a daily basis, the impact of exposing Leftists as massive hypocrites, the utter destruction of the myth of sanctuary cities, and allowing cities too far away from the epicenter to get a taste of what Texas deals with was a calculated risk, one that is still paying dividends in the form of Leftist heads exploding.
Leftist Lexicon Word of the Week
Being a member of law enforcement at any level isn’t a cakewalk, especially in these politically charged times. This is doubly so for the men and women on the front lines of our southern border, who tend to catch heck for sneezing in the general direction of an illegal immigrant.
This past week, a photo of a Border Patrol agent on horseback apparently whipping an illegal immigrant from Haiti made the rounds, setting off a firestorm of criticism. Even though there were no actual whips in the photo, the Left whipped up resentment towards the Border Patrol. Yes, the same people who want to defund the police, abolish ICE, and say no human is illegal thinks the people enforcing our borders are meanie-heads.
And as we’ll see, it’s no coincidence these issues are connected.
Border Patrol
What the Left thinks it means – the tyrannical arm of the US government, targeting poor defenseless people trying to make a better life in America
What it really means – a group of people trying to hold the line against illegal immigration without much support from politicians
America has been a beacon of hope for many an immigrant for centuries. But as anyone who has ever owned a bug zapper will tell you, a beacon can attract less desirable elements who will use every trick in their arsenals to take advantage of our largesse. Unlike the bug zapper, though, we tend not to electrocute illegal immigrants. Instead, we take them into our country without stopping to think about the consequences.
To try to curtail the criminal element and deter future border jumpers, ICE and the Border Patrol work around the clock trying to get a handle on things. Unfortunately for them, we as a country haven’t gotten a handle on things since the 1980s. Politicians from the Left and the Right have failed to put a dent in the waves of illegal immigrants coming into the country and using our resources. Thanks to current President and hairplug spokesmodel Joe Biden, ICE and the Border Patrol have their short-staffed hands full.
Provided, of course, the Left doesn’t smack their hands for trying to do their jobs. Just look at their “solution” for dealing with the Border Patrol agents who were accused of whipping Haitian immigrants: take their horses away. Thus, making their jobs more difficult. All because the Left jumped to a conclusion Robbie Knievel wouldn’t even try with full medical coverage. But that’s par for the course for the Left in this situation.
See, the Left has a vested interest in keeping a steady stream of illegal immigrants coming into the country like teenagers to a K-Pop concert. This interest takes on multiple forms, but they all wind up fulfilling the Left’s political and social goals, thanks in to figures like Richard Cloward and Frances Fox Piven, Saul Alinsky, and our good friend Uncle George Soros. All four of them have had a pretty strong hand in shaping Leftist ideology for decades, and it doesn’t end well for us. Here is a brief description of what they’ve added to the Leftist hivemind.
Cloward and Piven – developed a strategy to overwhelm the social support system to create more poverty and upset within the country, causing discord and fomenting revolution
Alinsky – the author of Rules for Radicals, which outlines ways for Leftists to make progress on social and political issues
Soros – advocate/creator of the Open Society Institute, which advocates for no borders whatsoever and everyone being a part of one global society, as well as an effort to control state election offices to help Leftist politicians get elected
With Soros and his disciples promoting the idea there shouldn’t be borders, it allows Leftists to promote ideas that will give the green light for illegal immigrants to come here. Once here, the Cloward and Piven strategy kicks in, putting a strain on existing programs through sheer volume. When critics come out against the first two concepts, Alinsky’s rules come into play. The result? More potential Democrat voters, which allows the cycle to continue. It’s brilliant in its deviousness.
And what’s one group of people who can throw a King Kong-sized monkey wrench into all of this? The Border Patrol. If they’re allowed to do their job, it will curtail the number of illegal immigrants coming into the country and getting all the bennies the Left is willing to give them because…reasons. So, instead of figuring out a way to…you know…change the laws on the books, the Left focuses their attention on the ones least capable of fighting back.
Including purposely mischaracterizing a photo to make it look worse than it actually was.
Unfortunately for the Left, the narrative is starting to break down like the Socialist Socialite after losing her battle to defund the Iron Dome in Israel. The primary source (i.e. the photographer who took the picture the Left is using to bash the Border Patrol) is saying the photo is being taken out of context and doesn’t reflect what really happened. Furthermore, the Border Patrol and eagle-eyed horse riders are pointing out the lack of whips in the photo itself. Even so, Twitter Leftists and their governmental counterparts are clinging to the original lie…I mean story. There are a few reasons for this, but one that should be at the top of the list is confirmation bias.
For those of you who have a life, confirmation bias is when a person believes a certain way because it affirms what they already believe. The Left already believes the Border Patrol is a bunch of racist thugs anyway, so it’s not that much of an effort to believe in the narrative in spite of the evidence to the contrary. That, and the fact the Left hate to admit they’re wrong more than The Fonz. Imagine that. A group of dishonest idealogues that already hates law enforcement trying to paint a group of law enforcement agents in a bad light? Who knew???
Well, those of us outside the Leftist hivemind did. While we wait for Jen Psaki to circle back and tell us another lie, keep the Border Patrol in your thoughts and prayers. They need them now more than ever.