You know, I think I’ve been getting a bit ranty with my recent posts, so I wanted to take on a much lighter topic, the Russia/Ukraine War.
By the time you reach this, we will have entered the second year of conflict in that part of the world and, well…we’re kinda in the same place we were when it started. For reasons that still escape me like Houdini, we decided to back Ukraine because..freedom, I guess? And since we had a few trillion dollars lying about from our investment in dumbass ideas and incompetent government officials, we gave it and some of our military hardware to Ukraine.
And…it hasn’t helped out a lot. Well, except if you’re a Ukrainian official with a penchant for owning multiple homes and lavish lifestyles, that is.
Russia hasn’t come away from this war unscathed, though. Not only have they suffered some military losses, but they’ve taken a hit on the world stage and from a public relations standpoint. As of this writing, toenail fungus is more popular than Vladimir Putin and it wasn’t even in the running. At this rate, Walter Mondale circa 1984 is doing better.
So, who’s winning? That depends on who you ask. The Left and the media (but I repeat myself) tell us Ukraine is winning. Twitter is awash with Ukrainian flags and hashtags like #RussiaIsLosing. Some on the Right insist Russia is winning. But the actual answer is…neither side is winning, even with our help.
And I’m still firmly on neither side. Nothing over the past year has swayed me one way or the other. Russia is still an untrustworthy bunch of asshats, Ukraine is still rife with neo-Nazis, and the Left is still trying to fight fascism here while supporting it over there. There are still no white hats, just black hats with PR firms trying to make their side look good.
And we still don’t have an idea of what our endgame is. Is it to weaken Russia? Is it to bring freedom to Ukraine? Is it to waste a lot of money getting involved in a war we have no role in? Who knows?
But what I do know is fighting a proxy war in Ukraine in the hopes the neo-Nazis in charge will like us and the Russians will be weakened to the point of irrelevancy are pipe dreams. We keep making the same mistakes in foreign wars, and thanks to Puddin’ Head Joe, we’ll keep making them because, well, he’s a dumbass.
And we’re on the hook for even more money coming soon to an IRS form near you. Who cares if we have inflation higher than Snoop Dogg in Amsterdam on any day ending in, well, day? Why should we worry about needing to take out a third mortgage for a gallon of gas, but only after taking out a second mortgage to get a dozen eggs? Just shut up and dig deep for the Buy Ukraine a Fourth Vacation House Fund. Ushers will be coming by to mug you as you exit the theater.
And you thought a bucket of popcorn and a Coke were expensive!
If you’re reading this and you’ve chosen a side in the Russia/Ukraine conflict, I’m sorry. The only right play is not to play, but we’ve already past that point of no return, and certainly past the point of no noticeable return on investment.
So, pop open a bottle of your finest tap water, gather your friends together, and toast year 2!
Category: Humor
Leftist Lexicon Word of the Week
If you want to see what kind of leader a man or woman is, watch them during times of difficulty. Anybody can lead when nothing happens. Case in point: the United Nations. But when something major happens, like…oh, I don’t know…a massive derailment in East Lebanon, Ohio, causing deaths, toxic chemicals being released, and a fire, among other things..the real leaders step up and take charge.
Then, there’s the Biden Administration. When something like the train derailment referenced above (a completely made-up and not at all real scenario, mind you) occurs, the government moves at the speed of light…colored sloths partying with Snoop Dogg and Willie Nelson in Amsterdam. I mean, it only took 10+ days for the White House to contact the mayor of East Lebanon…in this completely hypothetical example, of course.
This sort of situation would fall under the auspices of the Department of Transportation. So…yeah. We’re gonna talk about it this week.
the Department of Transportation
What the Left thinks it means – a federal agency that oversees any transportation concerns on a national level
What it really means – a federal agency that needs a serious revamp
The year was 1966. Miranda Rights became a thing, well before there was a “Sex In the City.” A young Ronald Reagan became Governor of California. And in 3 short years, an amazing young man would be born, one who would capture the imaginations of a hungry nation. That man, of course, is Paul Rudd.
Oh, and the Department of Transportation came into being via an act of Congress. And, as if this couldn’t get any better, the Department’s first day of work was April 1, 1967. Quite the April Fool’s joke.
The Department of Transportation’s mission statement is:
To deliver the world’s leading transportation system, serving the American people and economy through the safe, efficient, sustainable, and equitable movement of people and goods.
To accomplish this, there are 11 agencies and bureaus that are under the DOT’s umbrella. They are:
– U.S. Department of Transportation Office of the Secretary (OST)
– National Highway Traffic Safety Administration (NHTSA)
– Federal Aviation Administration (FAA)
– Office of Inspector General (OIG)
– Federal Highway Administration (FHWA)
– Pipeline and Hazardous Materials Safety Administration (PHMSA)
– Federal Motor Carrier Safety Administration (FMCSA)
– Federal Railroad Administration (FRA)
– Great Lakes St. Lawrence Seaway Development Corporation (GLS)
– Federal Transit Administration (FTA)
– Maritime Administration (MARAD)
Now, unless I’m completely off in my reading comprehension, I do believe railway safety might be in the Department of Transportation’s wheelhouse. Good thing there hasn’t been a major railway accident recently or things might get really embarrassing!
On a larger level, the Department of Transportation has its fingers in a lot of pies, which may not necessarily be bad as long as those fingers are actually accomplishing something or staying on top of issues affecting transportation on a national level. And with 55,000 employees, the job duties alone must keep them pretty busy.
I’d like to think that, but then I looked into the bullshit they’re working on instead of their jobs. Since February 3, the DOT issued 5 press releases, the most recent of which being announcing a Biden Administration initiative for a national network…of electric car chargers. Great for EV owners, not so good for the people of East Palestine…you know, if something happened there. And a quick search of their press releases shows…a big fat goose egg referencing the train derailment (that I completely made up off the top of my head).
But this is par for the course in government these days. For all of the talk (or lack thereof) about accountability, very few government drones get anything more serious than a tersely worded memo with all the force of a pillow fight. And even when some heads roll, it’s never the people running the department or agency. It’s usually the lowest-level drones with the least connection to the crime. Remember Lois Lerner? After a pretty public scandal where evidence showed she had a hand in committing tax fraud against conservative groups, she skated away like Brian Boitano.
So, what’s happening with the current DOT Secretary, Pete “Mr. Mom” Buttigieg? Well, that’s kinda hard to say, but what is clear is he’s doing his best to downplay the severity of the train derailment (which, I remind you, is completely hypothetical). After all, there are a thousand derailments per year, according to the Secretary, so this one (which is still completely hypothetical) is no big deal.
But at least he’s maintaining the DOT’s five core policy goals: safety, jobs, equity, climate, and innovation. Well, with the completely made up situation in East Lebanon, one has nothing to do with transportation (equity), one is guaranteed due to the derailment (jobs), and the other three are FUBAR. Even if you make the argument everyone in the community will be getting sick equitably, that’s a MOAFU: Mother of All Fuck-Ups.
It’s that this point we need to ask ourselves why we even have a Department of Transportation if they can’t even handle the basics of their jobs. You’ll get no argument from me on that front. Just judging from the shape of many of our interstates here in Iowa (where three of our four seasons are Construction), we could do better hiring the Three Stooges to take care of our roads, and they’re all dead.
Instead of just making jokes at the DOT’s expense (which is a lot of fucking fun), let me offer a solution. We currently have an infrastructure problem, as we’ve heard from people claiming health care and child care are infrastructure. But, nobody’s really doing anything about it. Even the recent Pork-A-Palooza…I mean omnibus spending bill split $87.3 billion between the DOT and the Department of Housing and Urban Development, which is an increase from the $81 billion from the 2022 fiscal year.
As much as the Left tells us we need more money to fix what’s broken, we need to figure out how exactly the Department of Transportation is spending the money we’re giving them. And judging from their self-published news stories, they’re focusing a lot of energy on passenger railroads, not commercial ones. And no matter how much is getting spent, it’s clear nothing proposed or earmarked would have stopped the derailment. You know, if it actually happened.
This means we need to do a full audit of what is being spent where and on what. If we’re spending more on feel-good but utterly irrelevant programs than we are on railway infrastructure, that has to change. Any derailment, large or small, disastrous or minor, is one too many. Even if Secretary Buttigieg and President Puddin’ Head Joe are blase about them, it’s not a good look because, well, trains are fucking transportation. Locate what needs to be fixed and spend the money to fix them. Even if it puts more Left-friendly projects on the back burner, learning how to be more inclusive in LGBTQIMTHEVERYMODELOFAMODERNMAJORGENERAL circles is less important than making sure trains don’t derail with the frequency of a celebrity going into rehab for the 248th time.
Along with this audit, we need to figure out what jobs they do that can be done at the state level. States have a vested interest in maintaining roads, bridges, and the like because otherwise no one would visit. Why not let them decide what needs to be fixed when? A bridge that’s more unstable than Lindsay Lohan on a bender with Charlie Sheen can’t wait to get fixed while millions get spent on a port in a completely different part of the country. Even if the port is in poor shape, it should be handled by those closest to the port rather than at a national level, where spending decisions are made by people who don’t care about either, but love the votes those decisions garner.
At this point, the Department of Transportation needs to be under the microscope so we can get a grasp on the problems we see everyday. And when there’s a major derailment that threatens the lives of people in a community, it shouldn’t take an act of God to get the Department or the President to say or do something.
Good thing I made up that scenario at East Palestine, Ohio, because if it really happened, there would be a lot of people looking like assholes right now.
2023 State of the Onion Address
My fellow Americans. Oh, and you, too, Leftists.
2022 was an interesting year for the media. Sure, they still haven’t figured out how to get their favorability ratings above Hitler, Stalin, and Nickelback, but they really tried.
Just kidding. They still suck.
What made 2022 so interesting for the media was how many stories they got wrong, either on purpose or by accident, and how quickly (relatively speaking) they corrected these errors. One thing they weren’t shy about, though, was labeling news stories “conspiracy theories.” It’s gotten to the point parody news sites were doing better journalism than the serious ones.
The merging of opinion and news continued unabated, as did the elevation of certain stories/narratives along with the suppression of others. And, surprise surprise, much of the latter was done under the auspices of battling misinformation. Well, the problem was these fuckknuckles were too busy creating misinformation to bother with doing even basic reporting.
Let’s start with COVID-19. From the jump, media squawking heads put down anyone who wasn’t 100% behind getting the jab, wearing more masks than a Halloween costume model working straight commission, and worshiping at the altar of Saint Anthony of Fauci. Even negative stories about the good doctor, like the fact he supported gain of function research after saying repeatedly he didn’t, were turned into cudgels with which to beat the infidels.
And by infidels, I mean the people who were right to be skeptical about how cultish the pro-vax side had gotten. I have seen Macy’s Thanksgiving Day parades with less marching in lockstep than I saw during the height of COVID. And, yes, that sentiment remains today, even as more and more shit comes out about how full of shit the pro-vax side was. Even they could see the writing on the wall and started trying to play off their stridency as a “whoopsie doodle”!
And the media not only played a role in creating the “vax or you’re scum” environment, but unironically tried to get us to forgive and forget as though nothing major happened.
And the media wonder why people don’t trust them.
If I could offer some perspective (and I can because this is my post), a lot of it comes down to how far the media are willing to lie to us about what we’re seeing right in front of our eyes. We saw the start of a regime change within Twitter, which ruffled Leftist and media (but I repeat myself) feathers to no end. Elon Musk went from eco-friendly visionary to reactionary maniac hellbent on pushing right wing narratives. All because he saw what so many of us saw: Twitter wasn’t enforcing its own rules with any degree of fairness or obvious logic. Even now, most media types are ignoring or dismissing the Twitter Files instead of following up to either prove or disprove the information within them.
Oh, but the screamingly obvious that even Ray Charles can see (which is pretty damn impressive for a dead guy) has to be a figment of our imaginations.
Then, on the other ends of the impressiveness spectrum, we have media whore…I mean darling Taylor Lorenz. Words cannot express just how low my opinion of her journalistic skills is. The best way I can say it is if my opinion was any lower, it would bore through the Earth and come out the other side without stopping. Yet, because she starts shit, gets hit, and cries about it all, the media put her on a pedestal and gave her Most Favored Victim status. Whenever the topic of toxic online culture was brought up, you can be Ms. Lorenz was there to pick up a paycheck and pimp herself even more than a self-employed prostitute.
This isn’t to say the media on the Right was any better. Remember the “red wave” that was supposed to happen during the midterm elections? The one that was a lock and would cause Leftist heads to explode from sea to shining sea? Yeah…about that. So much bravado lead to so few seats being picked up by the GOP. And it didn’t help matters that media heat magnet Donald Trump used the same high quality judgement in picking candidates that he used to pick Cabinet posts. Trump went through staffers like most people go through chewing gum.
Although most Trump-backed candidates won (mostly because they were in safe Districts or were running unopposed), the media had a field day focusing on the more spectacular dumpster fires like Dr. Oz, who was as much of a Pennsylvanian as Gavin Newsom. This is because the media love a shitshow, and Trump’s presence in 2022 was a 25/8 shitshow because 24/7 just wasn’t long enough.
But there is a downside to all the media attention spent on Trump: Trump Derangement Syndrome. I’ll admit I was late to the party on this, thinking it was just a meme the Right used to mock the Left. After the media coverage from 2022, I’m a believer. It’s real, and it’s seriously affecting the brains of the media. Granted there’s not much to affect in the brains of most reporters, but even a mild case of TDS was enough to turn them from frothing-at-the-mouth Trump haters to…well, even bigger frothing-at-the-mouth Trump haters.
Yet, for all the intense scrutiny the media gave to every Trump foible, the media couldn’t wait to look the other way when it came to President Puddin’ Head Joe. On nearly a daily basis, the PHJ Administration embarrassed themselves, being over their heads in a political mud puddle in the Sahara. Whether it was Puddin’ Head Joe’s invention of nonsense words (which was and is attributed to stuttering) or Vice President Kamala Harris laughing at the most inappropriate times like she was huffing nitrous oxide on the daily to Administration officials being more tone deaf than William Hung, it was a 947 ring circus solely staffed by clowns on the daily.
But no mean tweets, amirite, kids?
Want proof? I have three words for you: Hunter Biden’s laptop. The media coverage of this story was more scarce than a Japanese fishing village when Godzilla came to town for a weekend bender. Instead, they were playing defense for Puddin’ Head Joe and Hunter “I’m Not a Crackhead, But..Wait, What Was I Saying” Biden at every turn, usually by…you guessed it, bringing up Trump. Let me give you media types some free advice: when your main defense of a politician you like revolves around smearing a politician you hate, your dude fucking sucks!
With the 2024 Presidential election right around the corner, the media are focusing on who they believe the next Republican candidate will be, and that person is…Donald Trump. Or Ron DeSantis. You know, whomever they want to shit on that day. Be prepared to see a lot more of what’s happened since 2016 to continue, only at a louder and more shrill volume. If current trends continue, media complaints about Trump and/or DeSantis are going to only be heard by dogs before the first ballot gets cast.
So, buckle up, kids. This year is going to be off the charts, and not in a good way!
Leftist Lexicon Word of the Week
To put it mildly, this past week on Capitol Hill was more explosive than a Chipotle restaurant on the Hindenburg. Our favorite member of the Squad, the Socialist Socialite, went on the warpath attacking popular online figure LibsofTikTok for…sharing videos that Leftists upload themselves that ultimately make them look like amoral fuckknuckles. Well, the Socialist Socialite accused LibsofTikTok of inspiring bomb threats at the Boston Children’s Hospital for performing gender affirming surgery on teenagers as young as 15.
The concept of gender affirming surgery is a relatively new one, but it’s one the Left has been trying to protect under any and all circumstances. And since we don’t have a Chinese balloon to hold our attention this week, we might as well discuss it.
gender affirming surgery
What the Left thinks it means – necessary surgery for trans people to feel more like the gender they feel they are
What it really means – Leftists preying on young people being stupid
Being a teenager is rough. Not only are you dealing with hormonal changes with the frequency of a bad news day for Hunter Biden, but you’re caught between being a child and an adult. You’re still very impressionable, but you’re also gaining new responsibilities and expectations that come with maturity. Even under the best of circumstances, being a teenager is Ground Zero for fuck-ups.
Now, imagine being confused about your gender on top of all that. All you want to do is fit in, and being trans is still seen as alternative. As a society, we’re still getting used to the idea of the transgender community, so Mom and Dad may not be able to help you like they might be able to help you with your homework (provided it’s not “New Math”).
It is in this wasteland of physical and emotional distress that the Left operates. And by “operates” I mean “referring impressionable young people to doctors to get operations.” The Left offers not only the environment, but also the simple cure: if you don’t feel like you’re in the right body, it’s okay! Just change clothes and we will support you every step of the way! And if that doesn’t work, there’s surgery so you can look like you feel! It’s perfect!
Except…it’s not.
Gender affirming surgery is a nicer way of saying gender reassignment surgery. Instead of giving potential patients the feeling this surgery is serious and requires a lot of thoughts about the pros and cons, gender affirming surgery sounds lighter, breezier, a lot less taxing on the patient. In other words, the change of one word has taken all the gravitas out of the decision and makes it seem like trying out a new hairdo.
But unlike the hairdo, when the professional starts cutting, your genitals don’t grow back. That shit is permanent. If you regret your decision a few years later, there is no addadictomy that will get your penis back. Ditto with the labia. Once the doctor turns your love canal into a dick, you’re stuck with that decision for the rest of your life.
And remember, kids, Leftists are okay with letting teenagers make this kind of decision. The same teenagers who are going through one of the roughest stretches of life any person has to endure while feeling like they’re alone. How do I know this?
No, I’m not trans, but I was a teenager once. Granted, it was back in the days when we would look at cave drawings to get our local news, but I do remember how I was back then. And I was a fuck-up. It took me several years to “grow” into my body from a mental and emotional perspective, and throwing on a very adult decision on me at that time would have crushed me.
That’s the main issue I have with the Left’s push for gender affirming surgery: it’s not being taken as seriously as it needs to be. But the Left doesn’t care. They see the issue as a way to gain money and power over vulnerable people by offering solutions that have more strings attached than a tampon factory.
Or as Leftists call it, Tuesday.
But here’s where shit really goes sideways. Leftists have a…well, confusing approach to gender. As it turns out, they have as many positions on gender as they have genders, which is to say a metric fuckton. Here are a few of them.
– Gender is a social construct.
– Sex is a biological designation, while gender is more psychological/emotional,
– Gender is assigned at birth.
– Gender is developed over time.
– Sex and gender are different.
– Gender is a spectrum.
Granted, these positions have evolved over time, but I would be remiss if I didn’t point out the contradictions and Marquis de Sade-level of tortured thinking involved here. For now, let’s focus on that last one because it has a direct relationship to gender affirmation.
Some members of the medical community laid out 16 genders in 2022. Others have gone as high as 72, while still others put the number at 81. Go to some online forums (the source of all great thought), and you’re liable to find multiple variations on the same theme, only a lot less grounded in science or, well, reality.
Meanwhile, most of us believe there are…let me check my notes here…two fucking genders. No more, no less. Two. And before the Leftists try to confuse the issue, let me ask a simple question.
If gender is a spectrum, how come the gender affirmation surgery is currently either male-to-female or female-to-male?
This is because God, nature, science, William Shatner, or whatever authority you believe/worship/tolerate have already figured that shit out. Even if you believe sex and gender are different, there are only two choices on the menu, chocolate or vanilla, chicken or fish, Godzilla or Mothra. Leftists can’t bullshit their way out of the simple fact there are only two genders being affirmed with the surgery they say is necessary for trans people to feel like they belong.
But they can bullshit people into thinking they actually care about trans people. What they actually care about is creating more trans people who the Left can use to their ends without improving the trans community one iota. And why is that? Because it’s a lot easier to stoke fear than it is to fix stuff.
Look, I don’t care if an adult gets gender affirming surgery because it’s none of my business. Just don’t be an asshole about it. Now, the operative word in that first sentence is “adult.” If you’re not old enough to vote in an election, you’re too young to elect to get this surgery. In fact, research suggests the human brain doesn’t fully mature until age 25 (please check local listings for brain maturity ages in your area). By then, you have a better idea of who you are as a person, usually because you’ve graduated school or served in the military and have had to make a living.
So, why should we permit gender affirming surgery for someone well below the age when we get our shit together? The short answer is we shouldn’t. The longer answer is we shouldn’t because it’s a recipe for disaster. Leftists are willing to create more victims to advance their own agenda. Even if the patient is emotionally mature at 15, it doesn’t mean he or she has the wherewithal to know whether they’re actually trans or just trying to fit in by dressing up with clothes from a Boy George or Tilda Swinton garage sale.
The Left has one thing right about trans people, though. Trans people, and teenagers in general, need to feel loved and accepted for who they are. Even if you think it odd, there is still a human being underneath, someone who could use a shoulder to cry on or a supportive word. Don’t shut them out because their vision of the world doesn’t match yours. This is how we can make real positive change in this country.
And you don’t have to lop off a dick or pair of tits to do it!
Leftist Lexicon Word of the Week
With the Republicans taking control the House of Representatives at the beginning of this year, there were bound to be some changes, not the least of which to committee positions. Well, let’s just say the same folks who complained about Donald Trump not accepting the results of an election have their collectivist panties in a bunch over who is being removed from some committees.
Enter Rep. Ilhan Omar, a Democrat who just happens to be black, Muslim, and a member of the Squad. For those of you unfamiliar with the Squad, they’re like the women on “The View” but with the power to spend your money and make new laws they’ll exempt themselves from at their earliest convenience. Prior to the Red Ripple this past November, Omar was a member of the House Foreign Affairs Committee, but was kicked out by Speaker of the House Kevin “No Relation to Joe” McCarthy.
Let’s just say she and her fellow Leftists didn’t take this well, even by Leftist standards. Several colleagues, including fellow ousted Democrat Eric “Fang Fang’s Bitch” Swalwell and fellow Squad member Rashida “Not Cool Enough to Have a Nickname” Tlaib took to the floor of the House to protest Omar’s removal. And by “protest” I mean “bitching and moaning.” But the pièce de résistance (which is French for “We surrender! Do not burn the Louvre!”) was when Omar’s media supporters (but I repeat myself) called the decision to yank her from the Foreign Affairs Committee Islamophoba.
Hoo boy. Get ready for a trip into the stupid.
Islamophobia
What the Left thinks it means – the irrational fear and/or hatred of Muslims
What it really means – the modern ideological equivalent of the word “literally”
It pains me to say this in 2023 when we were supposed to have flying cars and were building towards a future that would make “Star Trek” look like a Rob Zombie hellscape, but to be perfectly clear, I have nothing against most Muslims. This is because the ones I’ve met personally have been nice, hard-working people with the same needs, wants, and hang-ups as the rest of us. They only difference is their faith. And I’m willing to bet most of the Muslims you meet are the same way.
Having said that, there are some fucking nutjobs out there who just happen to be Muslim. Granted, there are some fucking nutjobs out there who just happen to be Christian, but there’s a big difference in how Muslims and Christians are treated. If you call out a Christian extremist (real or imagined), you’re “speaking truth to power.” If you call out a Muslim extremist (real or blown up), you’re branded as Islamophobic regardless of whether said extremist is literally saying “I want to kill all Americans.”
That brings us back to the real definition of Islamophobia, literally. It seems the term gets tossed around with the frequency of Vox posting something stupid. In some cases, it’s appropriate, but in most cases…it’s less appropriate than letting Hunter Biden guard your crack cocaine stash. Yet, if we call out the inappropriate use of Islamophobia, we get called Islamophobic. And if we don’t obey what the Left tells us is acceptable behavior towards Muslims…you guessed it, we’re Islamophobes!
Welcome to the Kobiashi Maru of Salem Witch Trials. You’re guilty until proven guiltier. And there’s no way to beat it.
The reason for this is because people aren’t conditioned to try to offend or push away people. Well, except for my Uncle Jim-Bob who smelled of old cheese curds, Pabst Blue Ribbon, and skunk, but that’s not important right now. Psychologically, humans have a need to be socially accepted, which can be used to condition us to act, speak, and think a certain way.
Now, who do we know that would use our psychological needs to obtain political and personal power? I mean, aside from Disney. I’m speaking of Leftists, of course! They will play with our emotions to get what they want, but unlike Disney, we don’t get much entertainment out of it.
Islamophobia is one of those emotionally-charged terms that is designed to get us to adopt a position we may not necessarily agree with just to go along with the crowd. What started with homophobia (another term that’s been overused like a Kardashian) has become a cottage industry specializing in outrage and offense. And business is booming.
And our current salesperson of the year is Ilhan Omar. But much like her attempts to explain away her previous statements against Israel, her use of Islamophobia to complain about getting kicked off the Foreign Affairs Committee is weak. I’m Sheldon Cooper handshake weak here.
Omar has a bit of a history with making inflammatory statements about Israel. Considering the US and Israel have pretty close ties, having someone like Omar dealing with foreign affairs is a recipe for disaster. Even though the President sets the foreign policy agenda, a loudmouth with a penchant for pissing people off makes that job a lot harder.
Oh, and openly criticizing the guy who hands out committee positions? Fastest way to get kicked off any major committee and busted down to the Get the Speaker of the House’s Coffee Committee. Or in former Speaker Nancy Pelosi’s case, vodka.
Now for the really fun part. Pelosi’s actions with the previous session of Congress kicking off Republican committee members and rejecting McCarthy’s suggestions for members of the January 6th Commission made Omar’s rejection a thing. She was warned this was a bad idea, and she went ahead with it anyway.
Payback’s a bitch, ain’t it, Leftists?
If anything, Pelosi’s actions had more to do with Omar getting the boot than any ill will McCarthy had against Omar’s religion. It’s true he hasn’t exactly been a friend to Muslims, but with the mitigating factors I’ve mentioned, it’s hard to say Islamophobia is as much of a factor as Leftists want us to believe.
In this way, Leftists use Muslims like they use any minority on their side: like bunting on a parade float. The sole purpose Leftists trot out people like Omar is to tell the world “Look at how diverse and caring we are!” Yet, what exactly have Leftists done for Muslims that help them in any meaningful way?
If you guessed nothing, you’d be right. And if you bet the under, go see the cashier to pick up your winnings.
Minorities of all stripes within Leftist ranks are treated equally…bad. (But, hey, at least it’s equally bad!) By adopting the “do what we say or you’re an Islamophobe” approach, Leftists make it harder for Muslims to be treated as anything other than a mystery, an “other” if you will. Even if you won’t, it’s a recipe for disaster to continue thinking that way.
Even though I don’t fancy being killed by Muslims who hate my guts, I’ve found it’s easier to build bridges when you treat people different than you the way you would want to be treated. (Offer void for anyone who are really into the Marquis de Sade.) By ignoring our differences and seeing each other as human beings, it gets a lot harder to “otherize” each other since we have an established relationship, i.e. we know the people behind what we see.
So, Representative Omar, I reject your assertion of Islamophobia and insert a reality of my own. Namely, the reality the bullshit you’re pushing to explain away why you were kicked to the Congressional curb for being a loudmouth asshat doesn’t hold up to even the slightest scrutiny. But since you’re a reliable Leftist who checks off a number of spaces on the Oppression Bingo Card, nobody on your side will call you out, and everybody on your side will call me Islamophobic. See if I give a fuck.
Oh, wait, I lost all my fucks investing in cryptocurrency. Now what? You’re gonna call me an Islamophobe again? Still no fucks to be given.
That’s what undercuts Leftists like Ilhan Omar. If you don’t care what they call you, they hold no power over you, and that gives you power over them. But remember, Omar isn’t representative of the average Muslim. She’s barely representative of a higher mammal. I’ve been insulted worse by better people.
So, Representative Omar, take your Islamophobia and shove it up your…turban. Which is on top of your head, which is shoved so far up your ass you can taste what you had for lunch.
Leftist Lexicon Word of the Week
I cover a lot of topics for the Lexicon, but there are some that I shy away from most of the time. One of these topics is abortion. My reasons are simple: 1) it’s such an emotional issue that it’s impossible to discuss without someone getting pissed off, and 2) much like a Hannah Gadsby comedy special, there’s not much funny there. Even some of the periphery topics can get people mad.
Well, this is your warning that some of you reading beyond this point are gonna get pissed because we’re going into abortion.
In their post-Roe Handmaids Tale pseudo reality, Leftists are pushing an idea that women now will be required to take babies to term. In a double doozy of dumbassery, former Secretary of Labor and current member of the Lollipop Guild Robert Reich tweeted the following:
Forced birth in a country that refuses to protect its people from being shot down in a mass shooting.
That’s right, kids. Forced birth is apparently a thing, at least according to Leftists, which means it’s a subject that’s right in the Lexicon wheelhouse.
Damn you, Leftists.
forced birth
What the Left thinks it means – a condition created by Republicans where women are legally required to give birth under any and all circumstances
What it really means – a scary-sounding phrase without any connection to reality
For almost as long as I’ve been alive, Roe v Wade was the law of the land, making abortion a legal activity, as well as a coin of the Leftist realm. When the US Supreme Court handed down its decision in Dobbs v Jackson Women’s Health Organization last year, Leftists not only lost their shit, but started to make up new shit to replace it. Enter “forced birth.” All the usual culprits weighed in on the subject (using the same terminology and scare tactics, I might add). Planned Parenthood, the Washington Post, The Guardian, and even the Unitarian Universalist Service Committee weighed in, offering the most tepid of hot takes. Let me give you the short version.
Abortion good. Limits to abortion bad. Oh, and limits to abortion equals forced birth.
As with most terms used in the abortion debate, forced birth is a charged term, and it’s designed to be. Leftists love to combine words that don’t necessary go together, like climate justice or House Intelligence Committee member Adam Schiff. This is done to evoke emotions in line with what Leftists want us to feel or think (or feel instead of think).
In this case, they start with a word that is intended to make us feel bad, “forced.” This shocks us because people like freedom. If we’re forced to do something, our natural instinct is to resist.
Then, we come across “birth.” (Or at least the father did at conception.) Regardless of where you stand on the abortion issue, life is a pretty important subject. We understand it on a fundamental level and revere it to one extent or another. Even the most strident pro-choicer gets the importance of life; they just don’t feel bad at killing a baby in the womb because…reasons.
So, did the Dobbs decision force women to give birth? Nope! It affirmed there is no Constitutional right to an abortion, and it left the decision to either the states or Congress. While the decision didn’t outright ban abortion, Leftists made it sound like it did, if only to continue its Handmaids Tale cosplay.
Although I’m not a lawyer since I have morals and a soul, the Dobbs decision made a lot of sense to me because it was based on simple logic and attention to details. Even though the word “abortion” doesn’t appear in the Constitution, the Left argued it was an extension of the 14th Amendment, as Justice Samuel Alito referenced in his majority opinion:
The Constitution makes no reference to abortion, and no such right is implicitly protected by any constitutional provision, including the one on which the defenders of Roe and Casey now chiefly rely—the Due Process Clause of the Fourteenth Amendment. That provision has been held to guarantee some rights that are not mentioned in the Constitution, but any such right must be “deeply rooted in this Nation’s history and tradition” and “implicit in the concept of ordered liberty.”
The right to abortion does not fall within this category…. Roe’s defenders characterize the abortion right as similar to the rights recognized in past decisions involving matters such as intimate sexual relations, contraception, and marriage, but abortion is fundamentally different, as both Roe and Casey acknowledged, because it destroys what those decisions called “fetal life” and what the law now before us describes as an “unborn human being.”
The TL:DL (Too Long: Didn’t Litigate) version: abortion isn’t a right at all, and the two major decisions related to it (Roe v Wade and Planned Parenthood v Casey for those of you playing along at home) weren’t consistent with the Constitution as written. Hence, states can set whatever limits they want on abortion thanks to a little thing the hip kids like to call the Tenth Amendment.
But that takes away the Left’s best weapon in favor of abortion: judicial fiat. Since that’s not on the table anymore, Leftists resort to their fallback plan, that being openly lying to people to get them outraged at the Supreme Court and Republicans deciding a baby’s life is worth as much as the mother’s. Those bastards!
But out of chaos came some ingenuity, which is shocking for Leftists considering they’re usually dimmer than a burnt out light bulb in a goth kid’s bedroom. Leftists started volunteering to take women to states where abortions are legal if they live in a state where it isn’t. Oh, and to donate money towards that end because, let’s face it, schlepping caramel macchiatos at Starbucks doesn’t pay well enough to fund it themselves.
Now imagine if these same Leftists understood economics in the same way they understand interstate travel to kill a baby. But that’s a blog post for another time…
Meanwhile back at the main point, the truth is no one is forced to give birth in this country. Some states make it more difficult to get one, but that’s not the same thing as making women give birth. What it does do is create an incentive to plan a pregnancy and take steps to prevent it before doing the horizontal mambo under the sheets if you’re not ready to be a parent. Of course, this is beyond the pale for Leftists, who treat abortion like it’s Pez. After all, showing any amount of foresight, planning, and dare I say it responsibility might…make you become a Republican!
Regardless of your position on abortion, it’s clear that Robert Reich and anyone else who is pushing the forced birth bullshit aren’t helping the matter any. If we’re going to come to a functional, albeit tenuous, agreement on the topic, we need to be honest with each other. Both sides have legitimate concerns that can only be addressed with dialogue instead of diatribes. Granted, that seems less likely than Michael Bay making a good movie, but I can hope.
And to Mr. Reich, I’m sorry your attempt to push the forced birth lie came up a little short.
I’ll see myself out…
Leftist Lexicon Word of the Week
Leftists can find a way to be outraged by just about anything, even sources that are outside of their usual frames of reference. This past week, we saw Leftists get their panties in a bunch over…get this…the death of a professional wrestler, or more specifically how some of the wrestler’s colleagues chose to honor his memory.
Jamin Pugh wrestled under the name Jay Briscoe for many years and recently died in a car crash. He was beloved by his peers, with some offering condolences using the phrase Rest In Power.
It was these three little words that made Leftists shit themselves in outrage. Of course, if they were in San Francisco, you wouldn’t notice a difference, but the use of those three words became a personal affront to them because…get this…Jamin Pugh was…a white man! And Rest In Power? That’s a black phrase.
Better sit down for this one. The stupid is going to fly!
Rest In Power
What the Left thinks it means – a phrase to honor deceased blacks that should never be used by white people
What it really means – a phrase to honor a human being that doesn’t belong to anyone
To dig further into this situation, I went to where all self-respecting scholars go, Urban Dictionary. They define the phrase thus:
Phrase meaning that a deceased cannot rest in peace until society changes due to the circumstances of a death.
Well, that explains the boom in zombie movies and TV shows…
Dictionary.com provides this definition:
A variation on rest in peace, rest in power is used, especially in Black and LGBTQ communities, to commemorate a person whose death is considered unjust or wrongful. In this way, rest in power is a call to continue the struggle for social justice and as a show of solidarity.
Rest in power is also used to pay respect to a person, especially a person of color, who made a difference in the lives of minority communities. It is sometimes used to note the death of a person felt to have died too soon or senselessly, or a person who was influential or meaningful to people more generally.
At the core of both of these definitions is Leftist ideology. Victims of an unjust system are saluted with a Rest In Power, but the presumed oppressors can’t even utter the words because…well, they’re still trying to figure that part out. And they’re not the only ones.
Seriously, though, the phrase is believed to have originated as a way to honor a street artist, but was popularized in the black community as a way to memorialize people killed by violence. Oh, and rappers. With the death of Michael Brown and the suicide of a teenaged trans girl, Leelah Alcorn, Rest In Power got put behind rhetorical red velvet ropes complete with a bouncer to make sure only the “right” people got to use it.
Then, it got co-opted by white people and everything went to hell. Ain’t that always the case?
Although I can respect the origins of the phrase, I have to call bullshit on its presumed limits on usage. Once a phrase enters the cultural lexicon, the ownership transfers to society at large. Take the word “cool” for example. It started off with black jazz musicians, but evolved to the point of being universal. Now, there are grandmas walking at the mall who say something is “cool.” I don’t know if they can scat to a jazz riff, but that’s not the point.
Language is one of the most fluid things we have as human beings that isn’t actual fluid. As such, there is a lot of cultural cross-pollenization through diverse sources from music to fashion to cartoons. It doesn’t always work (see the drop-off in the use of “wack” in the past 20 years), but when it works, it works well.
So, why is Rest In Power exempt? Because…reasons?
The real reason is because Leftists need to control the language, even within communities already sympathetic to Leftist causes. By limiting who can use it, the Left acts as gatekeepers in the spirit of elevating the oppressed. Not that doing this actually elevates anyone, mind you…
What good does limiting who can say “Rest In Power” do when it comes to the Left’s stated goal of dismantling the current power structure and making it more equitable? It’s a SBD fart in a hurricane. The needle doesn’t move at all, nor will it ever. But it makes Leftist voting blocs feel good, so…yay, I guess?
Within this strategy is another Leftist concept, equity. Note, equity is not the same as equality, even though they share many of the same letters. Equality means everyone gets the same treatment across the board, no matter what. Equity allows for a bit more leeway in treatment because it allows for different circumstances to affect the outcome. And guess who currently pulls the levers on equitable treatment.
Leftists. Either that or an amusement park ride operator.
Setting standards on who can use “Rest In Power” is the Left’s commitment to equity writ large. But the entire concept falls apart like a balsa wood love seat at Michael Moore’s house when you consider the Left’s adoption of Rachel Dolezal and Shaun King. Two white people who are considered black because they identify as black in spite of being as white as an Edgar Winter concert in the middle of a blizzard after a typing correction fluid explosion.
I take that back. The aforementioned concert would have far too much rhythm to be truly white. My bad.
And guess what? That’s a joke comedians of all colors have been telling for decades, and yet no one has tried to limit who can tell it. Sure, the wording will be different, but the concept remains the same, and it has no one trying to gatekeep.
I never thought I’d be putting “cool” and “whites have no rhythm” on the same level, but here I am killing it!
And let me also point out the limits Leftists put on “Rest In Power” are completely arbitrary and, thus, rooted in logic shakier than the Biden White House’s response to why classified documents were found within 500 feet of Hunter. After all, whites make up the largest section of the LGBTQWTFFUBARLMFAO community. So, that means whites can use “Rest In Power” but only if they’re gay, lesbian, bi, trans, queer, etc.
How’s that dicking feel, straight white Leftists?
It’s these kinds of rules that make Calvinball look like Candyland. Yet, it’s the insanity of these rules that makes the best argument against this rhetorical version of Affirmative Action. If no one knows the rules, they are impossible to enforce, and even when you try to enforce them, they can easily be circumvented. Why, it’s almost better not to have any rules on who can say “Rest In Power” in the first place!
Yes. Yes it is.
And that’s the point. People should feel free to use whatever wording they want in honor of a fallen friend, a late family member, or even a respected figure in the community. Yes, there are still going to be consequences if somebody takes it the wrong way, but that’s the risk you run when you say anything. You could post on Twitter that you like chocolate, and some asshat with a checkmark will take it that you hate vanilla and try to troll you back to the Stone Age. (In computer terms, that’s 1980.) But does that mean you can’t or shouldn’t say you like chocolate? Not at all!
There is a reason we have free speech in America, and it’s because even loudmouth assholes should be able to speak their minds, if only to make it easier for us to figure out who to stay away from in the future. Limiting speech, especially as innocuous as “Rest In Power,” doesn’t help anyone, literally and, well, literally. Oh, I almost forgot. Some of the people posting “Rest In Power” to the late Jay Briscoe happen to be members of the groups Leftists say get to use the phrase in the first place.
Checkmate, motherfuckers.
What a Bunch of Gasholes!
As jaded as I’ve become in my later years, there are still some things that make me shake my head in a “Are you fucking kidding me” way. Usually, this comes from the federal government, online culture warriors, or media types, but recently, we had the perfect storm of fuckery, thanks to a federal agency.
The Consumer Product Safety Commission announced it was considering banning natural gas stoves, citing health concerns because of course. Recent peer-reviewed research published in the International Journal of Environmental Research and Public Health found an alleged link between the use of gas stoves and childhood asthma, a danger further underscored by co-author Brady Seals of the Rocky Mountain Institute. More on this later.
Once this news became public knowledge, online culture warriors went to work to amplify the CPSC suggestion, which promptly made the media go into “Republicans Pounce” mode. At first, the CPSC tried to deny what the commissioner, Richard Trumka Jr., clearly said, which as we all know makes everything instantly better! Then, Trumka, who made the initial statement “Products that can’t be made safe can be banned,” issued a tweet “clarifying” his statement, saying they weren’t coming after gas stoves after all, and any new regulations would only apply to new products.
It got so bad that CPSC chair Alexander Hoehn-Saric had to issue further clarification, and stated the organization was evaluating the health risks in light of the aforementioned research. Furthermore, Hoehn-Saric said no new regulations were on the table right now.
Meaning, they’re still on the table, but they’re being hidden behind the boiled radishes that nobody wants to eat until they can be reintroduced as though nothing had happened.
And believe me they will.
This is because the Left and its government stooges (but I repeat myself) love to have as much power over us as possible. Controlling how we cook our food, as meaningless as it is in the grand scheme of things, is exactly the kind of shit they’d do if given the chance…or if they take the chance.
But then they fucked up by not only giving away the plot, but by assuming the opponents wouldn’t have receipts. Oh, but they did. Lots of receipts. They even got the Socialist Socialite to defend her use of gas stoves while simultaneously doubling down on the science.
And just what was the science, you ask? Remember the peer-reviewed study I referenced earlier co-authored by Brady Seals? Well, turns out she might have a vested interest in the outcome, given her association with the Rocky Mountain Institute. If you look at the Board of Trustees, you’ll notice a few different themes and some familiar names in Leftist circles. Of course, none of this is ever discussed in the news pieces citing the paper Seals co-authored. After all, why let a little thing like complete transparency get in the way of a good scare piece?
But before you damn me for guilt by association, let me also point out one other tiny problem with the paper: it’s fundamentally flawed. What’s more, the problems raised in Seals’ paper and in the subsequent media stories can be addressed somewhat by using a range hood. So, banning or even adding new regulations for the use of gas stoves isn’t even necessary.
But it is necessary if you’re trying to persuade people to adopt an alternative to what we currently used.
Surely, electric stoves are better for the environment, right? Oooooh, sor-ray. Turns out it takes more energy for an electric stove to do what a gas stove does. And since most of our energy production comes from fossil fuels, that means to use the allegedly safer technology, we have to create more pollution. Brilliant!
Oh, and the best part? Natural gas is cleaner than fossil fuels. Even Leftist eco-nuts (again, I repeat myself) admit that, but they always love to throw in the “but X” to explain why natural gas isn’t the good deal it’s made out to be.
“But the study was peer-reviewed!” some might say. My response is that peer review is only as good as the intellectual rigor used by the peer reviewing it. As we’ve seen, peer review has its flaws and scandals that have tarnished its reputation for being, well, reputable. And the fact it keeps happening year after year after year doesn’t help make the case why a peer reviewed paper is more valid and truthful than a paper a puppy pees on.
But the Left needs people to ignore the problems and “trust the science” because it plays into one of their favorite logical fallacies, appeal to authority. If you are impressed by the credentials and don’t look into the facts, you can be persuaded to adopt an idea as true basely solely on who says it. But titles in and of themselves don’t necessarily mean the person with them should be listened to on a given subject. Remember, Neil deGrasse Tyson says some stupid shit.
But the Left count on people being ignorant enough to listen and believe and not listen and mock mercilessly. However, the online culture warriors unwittingly give the Left ammunition (which is ironic given how the Left hates guns) to dismiss all criticism. Although the critics were mostly right factually, the way they presented the facts made it sound like a crazy conspiracy theory. And remember the media love to do the “Republicans Pounce” thing to cover the Republicans’ response to a Leftist scandal instead of the scandal itself. This rhetorical slight-of-hand takes attention away from the actual story to get people to pay attention to the distraction.
Even so, the culture warriors don’t seem to get this. Oh, they’ll mock/complain about the “Republicans Pounce” tactic, but their passion turns into the distraction the Left needs to escape responsibility for being utter fuck-ups.
Almost.
Once you see the bait and switch the media pull (see the recent scandal related to Puddin’ Head Joe and classified documents for evidence), you can’t unsee it. Like a Micheal Moore porn video. But unlike “Fahrenheit 9-11 Inches” or “Balling for Columbine” you don’t need brain bleach, therapy, and a Men In Black memory wipe to function after witnessing it.
The moral of this story is to be skeptical of a gut reaction given amplification by people with a Paul Bunyon-sized axe to grind, even if you agree with them. A little information can go a long way towards finding the truth, often found in between the extremes. But there are still some pretty good rules of thumb that are easy to follow.
Whenever the Socialist Socialite talks about anything other than, well, herself, believe the exact opposite because she’s a fucking idiot.
Hmmmm…maybe there’s something to the science saying gas stoves affect cognitive ability after all…
Leftist Lexicon Word of the Week
One of the things I’ve grown to hate about politics in recent years has been the tribalism of both the Left and the Right. It seems if someone from one side does something horrible, like killing a bunch of elderly nuns trying to cross the street, the two extremes can’t come together and say “You know, that’s fucked up.” Invariably, one side will say it was wrong and demand justice, and the other side will decry the criticism and claim it was partisan and/or fake news.
The recent revelations about Puddin’ Head Joe and his penchant for leaving classified documents where they shouldn’t be has brought out the worst of this. People on the Right (including your humble correspondent in this case) think this is a criminal offense and should be prosecuted. Leftists, on the other hand, keep trying to defend Puddin’ Head Joe while trying to make distinctions between the current fuckup and the raid on Mar-a-Lago, which is the previous fuckup.
Throughout the online debates on the topic, I see the word “whataboutism” tossed around like a football at a Philadelphia Eagles game. That means it’s time we take a turn at trying to understand it, and hopefully have fun doing it.
whataboutism
What the Left thinks it means – a tactic used by the Right to equate events that are substantively different as a means to excuse right wing criminality
What it really means – a tactic that proves both major parties suck ass
Our good friends at Merriam Webster define whataboutism thus:
the act or practice of responding to an accusation of wrongdoing by claiming that an offense committed by another is similar or worse
Basically, whataboutism involves diversion and deflection. Instead of taking up the accusation directly, those who engage in it try to bring in something unrelated to the original accusation to get the person levying it to either get defensive or shut down completely.
Unfortunately, both the Left and the Right engage in whataboutism on a regular basis, which makes civil debate on social media next to impossible. Then again, it may be because these debates are being done on social media, where civility is as alien as E.T., or at the very least correct spelling. It is possible, mind you, but you’d have better luck surviving while having credible information that would implicate Hillary Clinton in criminal activity than you would be to actually converse with someone on a political issue.
For the record, I do not have any information on Hillary Clinton, so if you could take that red laser point dot off my forehead, I’d greatly appreciate it. Whew! Now that’s out of the way, back to the topic at hand.
The Left has been doing its usual bang-up job trying to create distance between Puddin’ Head Joe and Donald Trump’s handling of documents. This strategy has a two-fold benefit. First, it excuses Biden while leaving Trump open to criticism. Second, it enables the “whataboutism card” for the Left. If Leftists create enough of a difference in the minds of people who don’t follow current events that closely (i.e. 95% of Twitter users), they can downplay the potential criminality while redefining legitimate criticism as sour grapes.
The problem is these two separate incidents are similar enough to warrant equal scrutiny. Both are former government officials who had confidential documents in locations where they shouldn’t have been in the first place. Spin it any way you want, but the core issue is still the same. Where things get a bit cloudy is in what each official is allowed to declassify and how it was done. That’s a debate for another time (and possibly another blog post).
When you strip away all the partisan bullshit, you can’t call the Right’s outrage over Puddin’ Head Joe’s actions whataboutism because it’s literally the same thing Trump is being accused of. And, to be fair, the Right’s criticisms have more meat with regards to how the President is being treated right now because of the way Trump was treated, with the Left’s overwhelming approval. Even then, it’s hard to get past the whataboutism label completely here since there’s the element of an unequal response, which works in the Left’s favor.
At least, it does until you realize the Left wants there to be different and unequal rules for their side. But that’s to be expected. After all, they’re our moral and intellectual superiors (just ask them).
As long as there are partisan hacks on both sides willing to be intellectually dishonest, there will be whataboutism, and there will be accusations of whataboutism, legitimate or otherwise. We may even find it creeping into our own thinking at times when we let our passions override our logic. The key to overcoming this is to keep consistent when presented with a seemingly contradictory situation.
That’s why I say both Trump and Biden need to be held accountable, no matter what. Not only does it confuse the partisan asshats, but it keeps things nice and simple. Plus, it will make for some great snarking.
Regardless of how you feel about Puddin’ Head Joe, it’s hard to deny the classified documents situation he’s in looks bad, as in Lena Dunham nude pictorial in Playboy bad. That’s why I take the Left’s whataboutism defense of Joe not as seriously as they do. Even so, it’s far too easy a trap to get into with political and ideological differences, mainly because neither side wants to be consistent. They want their team protected and the other team prosecuted until the end of time. But bad behavior is bad behavior, no matter what team you’re on, and it needs to be called out even when the partisan jagoffs accuse you of whataboutism.
When they do, feel free to do what I do and tell them “What about you shut the fuck up?”
Papers, Please
To say it’s been a rough few months for Democrats is an understatement. Oh, they were able to stem the tide of the “Red Wave” (thanks in part to idiots like Mitch McConnell), but since then they’ve been accumulating L’s like the world’s unluckiest Scrabble player.
Recently, we heard about President Puddin’ Head Joe having classified documents in the possession of a think tank (an ironic contradiction if ever there was) and just now started turning them over. Of course, his staff knew about them on November 2, 2022, but hey. Why let a little something like having classified documents six years after leaving office disrupt an election that could determine how our country is governed for the next 2 years, amirite?
If that wasn’t bad enough, more classified documents were found in Biden’s home in Wilmington, Delaware. But don’t worry, folks. Ol’ Puddin’ Head Joe kept them perfectly safe, right next to his Corvette in his garage. And it just so happens, Joe’s son Hunter stayed at that residence for a time. Wow! If you can’t trust meth-heads with a penchant for underhanded deals and possible child porn on a laptop, who can you trust?
As you might expect, Leftists leapt into action…to say a) the documents were planted, b) Donald Trump is much worse, c) Joe is cooperating, and d) it was just a mistake.
How’s that boot tasting, Leftists?
As more and more comes out about this story, the more and more Leftists want to push it under the rug, even going to far as to say this scandal might take attention away from investigations into Republican wrongdoing. Then again, it was CNN saying that, so take it with a Lake City of Salt.
Since the Right doesn’t have memories like ferrets hooked on meth, people have been bringing up how the Trump and Biden document scandals are being handled. Which, of course, prompted the Left to come up with all sorts of Oktoberfest-level pretzel logic to explain why it’s just different, okay? But is it? Let’s find out.
As President, Donald Trump had the authority to declassify documents within a specific scope, hopefully with more reasoning than “because shut up.” Some things can be declassified under different provisions within the government and by following the proper procedures. We can debate whether Trump and his team followed those procedures another time because the point is he had the authority to declassify.
The Vice-President, on the other hand, can only declassify documents he (or now she) classified or generated by his/her office. Without knowing what was found at Puddin’ Head Joe’s office, home, and garage, we can’t really tell whether he followed the process correctly. Knowing him, he forgot all about it.
As far as what former Executive officials can take with them, well…that’s where things get a bit murky. (Surprise, surprise.) There are some requirements and loopholes for Presidents and Vice-Presidents with regards to classified documents. Again, the lack of specific details gives Joe a bit of breathing room legally.
Having said that, Puddin’ Head Joe’s got some ‘splainin’ to do. If what has been reported so far is accurate (and I can’t say for certain that it is), some of the documents in question had to deal with Iran, Ukraine, and the United Kingdom, as well as China. Now, I may be wrong here, but at least half of the countries mentioned don’t like us and one of them loves us…as long as we keep giving them money and guns. No word on if Ukraine is accepting our lawyers yet, but I’ll keep you posted.
And if you got that reference, you are officially old. And cool as hell.
While the way these documents came to light differs greatly from the raid on Mar-a-Lago, it’s important not to lose sight of the basic facts here: Puddin’ Head Joe had classified documents in his possession and failed to do his due diligence in returning them or notifying the proper authorities that he had them.
Before you Leftists give me this “he turned them in as soon as he found out” bullshit, let me remind you his term as Vice-President ended six years ago. And during that time, his meth-head son has access to those documents, which in and of itself is a security risk. Not to mention, Biden didn’t come forward with these documents as soon as he found out. He waited two more months after they were discovered.
If you flipped your shit over Trump holding onto classified documents for a year and a half, your shit better be doing a Cirque du Soleil routine if you want to remain consistent. If you’re not, then take a seat. In fact, take all of the seats. Especially that old dusty one in the corner, the one with the ripped upholstery.
And while we’re here, remember how Leftists got so concerned about whether Trump was selling nuclear secrets since some of the documents seized were allegedly about a foreign country’s nuclear capabilities? I do. It was a Neal Peart drum solo of drumbeats from the Left lamenting about how Trump was guilty (without evidence of anything happening, mind you) and still allowed to walk freely amongst the people (see previous comment in parens for the reason). Now, these hawkish Leftists aren’t squawking so much. Even known Leftist and fuckknuckle Joy Behar said we give Puddin’ Head Joe the benefit of the doubt because, essentially, he’s not Trump.
No, Joe isn’t like Trump. Trump wasn’t fucking stupid enough to put classified documents in a fucking garage!
Anyway, we’re in for a shitshow as more information about Puddin’ Head Joe’s classified documents come to light and the Left tries to explain it all way without success. I wouldn’t hold my breath waiting on an FBI raid of Joe’s home anytime soon.
Unless they find more on Hunter, that is.