Month: May 2021

Leftist Lexicon Word of the Week

Since the events of January 6th, the Left has demanded there be a commission set up to review what happened, not unlike the 9/11 Commission. Let me save you a few million bucks: some stupid people did stupid and illegal things, and the Left hyperventilated over it. Yet, that hasn’t stopped House Democrats from passing a bill that would set up the January 6th Commission. Instead, the Senate stopped it.

It seems like when there’s a major event like 9/11 or 1/6, the Left wants to set up commissions to “get to the bottom of it” with the hopes the findings can be used to prevent future events. Sometimes they’ll jazz it up by calling them “blue ribbon commissions,” but the principle, at least in theory, is the same. Yet, in practice…well, we’ll get to that after the obligatory Lexicon opening.

commission

What the Left thinks it means – a bipartisan group designed to look over the facts of a matter and devise proposals to prevent the matter from happening again

What it really means – an excuse to spend money to get utterly worthless results

My statement in the first paragraph about what happened 1/6 is only partially a joke, which is a higher percentage than my actual jokes, but not as big of a joke as the concept of a 1/6 Commission is. At this point, the events have been analyzed, reanalyzed, put through the various ideological spin cycles, and turned into everything but a Ken Burns documentary series on PBS. There might even be a Broadway musical, t-shirt, or sneaker deal in the process. And all with the same purpose: to squeeze out even more milk from the milked-dry cash cow that was the “insurrection.”

As much as I say more power to ‘em for trying it, the issue comes down to the use of tax dollars towards what is at this point a foregone conclusion. Nothing any commission, bipartisan or otherwise, could come up with would be shocking new information, and the suggestions they could come up with would either be common sense or an appeal for more money and bigger government. You want to know how I know this?

Check out the recommendations of the 9/11 Commission. They were about as useless as Auto Tune for Yoko Ono, only much more painful to consider.

This goes back to one of my hard and fast universal truths of life: Government isn’t in the problem-solving business. This opens up a whole slew of follow-up questions, the primary one being why we need a commission to look into anything. It’s really pretty simple: the report becomes a cudgel to use against a particular person or political ideology. With the 9/11 Commission, it was George W. Bush (even though the original warnings he was supposed to act on were more vague than a Michael Bay storyline). And with a 1/6 Commission, the target would be Donald Trump because he helps them raise money indirectly.

There is a secondary reason I’m not even sure the Left recognizes. With both houses of Congress and the White House under Democrat control, Leftists should be able to get pretty much anything they want done. All they have to do is vote along party lines and it’s pretty much a done deal. Yet, if you’ve been paying attention (and I know you have), they can’t even organize a one-car accident, let alone advance an ideological agenda. What better way to avoid having to answer questions about why the Leftist agenda has stalled worse than a Yugo in a flood than to attack a common enemy in Trump? And because Democrats hold the White House and Congress, they can initiate whatever actions they feel are necessary to take the heat off them…I mean to hold Trump accountable.

The strategy in play here works in the long term as well. To put it mildly, the Democrats are skittish about 2022 when Republicans stand to gain seats as conventional political wisdom goes. Then again, conventional political wisdom never predicted we’d be saying President Donald Trump, but that’s neither here nor there. Commissions, like the 9/11 and the proposed 1/6 ones, tend not to move that fast. They make the sloth from “Zootopia” look like the Road Runner on energy drinks. In short, this means it’s a sure bet any commission set up for the January 6th “insurrection” will take a while to start, let alone conclude, which would easily take it into 2022 and beyond where Leftists can run against Trump instead of against their actual opponents. This could easily bleed over into the 2024 Presidential election, given the glacial nature of these commissions.

The problem the Left faces here is one of their own creation. Imagine that! One of their favorite talking points about 1/6 is how everything was caught on video so we could see what happened. Yet, out of that knowledge comes…the need for a commission to look into what happened? As most Leftist ideas do, this runs smackdab in the face of logic. Why would we need to dig deeper into the matter if we all know what happened?

Unless, of course, the commission is a Trojan Horse.

Let me explain as I adjust my tinfoil conspiracy theorist hat. If this commission is to be bipartisan and true to its intent, it will have to look into every aspect of the events of 1/6. Including a certain Speaker of the House who may have made it more difficult to contain the “insurgents.” It might also have to figure out how the protesters who got inside the Capitol were inspired by Donald Trump’s January 6th speech…before he gave it. It’s these little details that always trip up the best attempts of the Left to throw shade. Granted, a 1/6 commission might not have to look too deeply into matters like these, but they would have to explain why or have their work mocked by a certain Midwestern blogger who likes to come up with weekly words the Left love to use.

Here’s where the Trojan Horse aspect comes into play. The Left knows certain parties within their midst have dirty hands and a real commission designed to investigate the Leftist narrative for factual underpinnings might stumble across how those hands got dirty in the first place. To protect those individuals, it might be necessary to appear to support a commission but not follow through on it. Of course, this will enrage the Orange Man Bad crowd, but it’s a good CYA move.

Then, there’s the Left’s recent obsession with eliminating the filibuster in the Senate. After decades of using it whenever possible, the Left has had enough of the filibuster and want to get rid of it because those evil nasty Republicans are threatening to use it to do the same thing the Left did! Who could have seen that coming, amirite? Anyway, the recent failure of the Senate to pass legislation that would create the 1/6 Commission breathed new life into the movement because the Left doesn’t like the fact they would have to get at least 60 votes to get it passed and avoid a filibuster. So, since they lost, they insist the rules need to be changed so they can win. With this defeat, the Left now has more ammunition to renew the call to remove the filibuster as an option. (Which, of course, is a bad idea, but try telling them that.)

Regardless, the idea of a 1/6 Commission may seem good and logical on the surface, but it’s a recipe for disaster, especially for those who have a genuine passion to get to the bottom of what happened. If you want to find out, do your own research. If you want to spend a lot of money and get nowhere, get a high-end treadmill. At least it will be less expensive than a government commission.

In the Meme Time

Oh where to begin with this AOC Leftist nonsense. Might as well start at the top.

Bailing out anything is not the responsibility of the government. I am from a farm state. Our primary industry is agriculture. Bailing out farms is not being fair. We shouldn’t subsidize farmers for any reason.

Banks, like any other industry, are not too big to fail. If they do stupid business practices. They should FAIL. That would be far better for our economy than preventing the banks from failing.

Giving trillions to billionaires? Isn’t that making them trillionaires? But of course this is false trap statement of the Left’s war on economic classes. In relationship to the evil of income tax.

So that’s the top taken care of lets look at the bottom half of this completely backwards meme.

First of all Vets. There is no hand out to veterans. They should get taxpayer funded health care, education, housing, and everything else under the sun. They signed the dotted line and elected to pay the ultimate price if necessary for our Freedom and Liberty. Honor them all. If they need assistance, give it to them.

Homeless people. Here society is upside down. The Left wants government to do the job of the Church. And the Church is letting them. So no money from taxpayers should be going to this at all. Get the government out of it.

Insurance for the sick. Isn’t that like getting fire insurance on your house AFTER it has burned down. It doesn’t work that way. I have other posts where things need to change for the insurance and medical industry. Again this isn’t the job of the government so no taxpayer money should be going to this either.

Food for children. Here again we have reversed roles in society. The government has taken over the jobs of the Church. We need to fix this and have the Church do it’s job so government can do it’s job too. Again no taxpayer funds being sent here.

Social Security for the Elderly. Wait a minute. Aren’t we all paying FICA tax for this? Of course though this socialist utopia idea never counted on longer lifespans and an explosion of an elderly population. Here again this is something the government and taxpayer money shouldn’t be going too. This is personal responsibility or the responsibility of the Church or family if the elderly are having trouble.

And that sums it all up. The Leftist meme is always promoting socialism and trying to use emotion to say your rational thinking. Don’t be a useful idiot.

Leftist Lexicon Word of the Week

I’ve been trying to avoid writing about this, but since the Left can’t stop talking about it for 2 microseconds, I suppose I’ll have to weigh in. After moments of tepid unrest (as opposed to the usual white hot variety), tensions between Israel and Palestine flared up, resulting in rockets being exchanged, and not in the white elephant kind of way. To put it mildly, they were putting some heat on those things.

As they typically do in situations like this, the Left has already taken sides with Palestine, with members of “The Squad” openly calling Israel an “apartheid state.” I’m sure that’s going to go over well with the white nationalists there, but that’s not important right now. What is important is the Left’s political gamble taking sides with Palestine, a gamble they’ve made before and won handily. In the grand scheme of things, does this matter?

Why, yes. Yes it does.

Palestine

What the Left thinks it means – a nation being oppressed by Israel merely for trying to get its land back

What it really means – a nation that no longer exists, due in no small part to its leaders

The biggest problem when discussing Palestine is agreeing on the basic facts that are not in play, mainly because there are so many people who disagree on them. However, there is one fact not even the staunchest of pro-Palestinian propagandists can spin away.

Palestine doesn’t exist today.

Oh, sure, they did at one time and the United Nations even recognize Palestine as a state, but that means nothing in 2021. Especially that second part. If your ace in the hole is a UN proclamation, you’re better off in admitting you got nothing. At least then you won’t have to worry about explaining away the UN’s noted anti-Israel bent. If anything, they should get bent.

The country that was once Palestine was comprised of a lot of land in the Middle East in what is now Jordan. Not Israel. Not the West Bank. Not even the Gaza Strip. Jordan. The fact Israel and Jordan are neighbors doesn’t help the situation any because they have easy access to each other and their respective populations and property. In short, this is a property line dispute with heavy artillery.

But as a former homeowner myself, I can tell you it’s hard to have a property line dispute when you don’t actually own the property. If the Palestinians had a valid claim to Israel, I would be one of the first to say so. As it stands, all they have are a UN proclamation and apparently nobody who knows how to read an ancient map. But what they do have is Leftists willing to carry their water for them. As it turns out, this is their default position on Palestine because a) they like to at least appear to support the underdog against the powerful, and b) they have a major anti-Semitism problem.

Let’s start with the first one since it’s first and all. The Left loves a good David vs. Goliath story, not because they necessarily want David to win, but because they love making Goliath look like a jerk in the process. Instead of fighting for the little guy, the Left tends to fight against the big guy because it’s easier to paint the big guy as the villain just like they did with the big banks. Of course, when it’s a big guy who agrees with them (I’m looking right at you, Jack Dorsey), the Left turns a blind eye…until it becomes convenient to throw you under the bus. Just ask Amazon.

Or we can just ask Israel. With the two terms of Bill Clinton and Barack Obama and the first year of Joe Biden’s term, Israel knows full well what the Left thinks of them and how they will make nice to your face while helping the opposition. The Left has even sent political advisors to Israel to try to defeat Benjamin Netanyahu, all because he has this crazy idea that Israel should exist. That MONSTER! Out of Clinton, Obama, and Biden, only Clinton had Israel and Palestine try to work out some sort of agreement. Even when Israel was willing to give in to Palestine’s conditions, their leader at the time, Yasser Arafat walked away. Since then, the possibility of peace between the sides is more remote than a hermit at Ice Station Zero.

This is where the anti-Semitism comes into play. Yes, there are Leftist Jews who are on the “Free Palestine” bandwagon and will criticize Israel in the same breath they order brunch, but they are being used for votes and money, just like every other group the Left associates with. The Left loves the money and power the Leftist Jews give them, but nothing else beyond that. As long as the Israel-Palestine conflict continues, the Left will use it for their own ends without doing anything to help the situation.

Oh, and it should be pointed out, as the Left loves to do, the Palestinians are also Semites. So, what would you call a group of people who use the death of people they allegedly support to enhance their own political and fiscal power? Some could say they were…anti-Semites…

Amazing, but not unexpected from the Left.

Beyond that, some of the Left’s favorite hustlers…I mean figures have a history of out-and-out disdain for Israel and its people: Al Sharpton, Jesse Jackson, Hillary Clinton, Louis Farrakhan, just to name a few. More recently, “The Squad” has shown it can flex with the best of them when it comes to attacking Israel. No matter how many times they get caught, however, the song never changes. Israel will always be bad, and Palestine will always be good. And as long as there’s money and votes to be had, the Left won’t care.

The larger question is whether Palestinians want peace. I can’t point to anything specific, but I get the feeling the majority of them do. Constant fighting without a reason to fight erodes your soul pretty fast, and the way many Palestinians have found a way to live without fighting is…by moving to Israel. Contrary to popular belief, Palestinians in Israel enjoy a modicum of power and respect so long as they don’t wreck anything. They even have a place at the table in Israel’s version of Congress, the Knesset. Hard to argue Israel is an apartheid state when they give more freedom to Palestinians than Palestine does.

And therein lies the real tragedy of it all. Palestinians really don’t have an ally on the Left, but Hamas does. That’s not an insignificant distinction to make, either. Hamas has been designated as a terrorist organization by the US and others, and currently holds all the power in Palestine. Oh, and they’re much more militant than Arafat was, and he was militant enough as it was for a guy who could pass for Ringo Starr in an off-Baghdad production of “Lawrence of Arabia.” The other option is to seek sanctuary with the ”enemy” or try to stay enough under the radar as to not attract attention. With fanatics like Hamas, though, neither option is good enough. You’re either in all the way or you’re a traitor.

Hmmm…I wonder if that attitude has anything to do with the religion Hamas members follow…naaaaaaah!

In the end, there will be more fighting, more death, and more heartache until both sides of the Palestine/Israel conflict decide enough is enough. Even then, the Left will find a way to paint Palestine as a victim instead of a participant, if only to secure more money and power for themselves. If only to try to stem the tide of eternal war (and, admittedly, make Leftists even madder than they are now), I will defend Israel’s right to exist.

And I will continue to act as an Israeli Chamber of Commerce for Palestinians looking to get out from the conflict.

Who Is That Masked Man?

By the time you read this, I will have gotten my second COVID-19 shot, mainly because of the screaming and crying I’ll be doing afterwards. As a result, I may not need to wear a mask all the time, provided the CDC doesn’t flip flop like John Kerry in cheap sandals working a VFW pancake breakfast. However, I’ve made up my mind to continue wearing a mask indoors.

This isn’t a decision I’ve taken lightly. On the one hand, I’ve spent a good chunk of change on cool-looking masks that show my appreciation for different fandoms. On the other, my glasses keep fogging up, so I have to readjust my masks on a regular basis. But there was one factor that tipped the scales for me.

Other people.

Now, I’m not just talking about making others feel more secure or giving them one less thing to worry about. I’m not even talking about being accused of being an anti-vaxer/conservative/Republican/Trump supporter/science denier/whatever new name the Left wants to call me today. I am, however, talking the people who have taken it upon themselves to be the Mask Police.

Even before COVID-19 was a thing, there were people who constantly wanted to get in other peoples’ business for one reason or another. Usually, it’s because they don’t have lives of their own and want to create drama so there is some excitement to talk about. Plus, it feeds a need in them to be righteous (even if it’s the self variety) and to virtue signal.

And neither one is worthy enough to warrant such people to act.

Good luck trying to tell them that, though. Judging from my thankfully few interactions with them, they don’t seem to be the most open-minded of folks. And as a male in a family where stubbornness is a feature instead of a bug, that’s saying something if I’m the one pointing it out. What sets these folks apart from a Gladys Kravitz type is the fact they feel justified in causing harm to others in the pursuit of their goals. If one of them sees you infringing upon what they think the rules should be, it isn’t that much of a stretch for him or her to figure out who you are, contact your employer, and advising them of the kind of scumbag you are (to them). If not that, they’ll publicly shame you, often with high pitched screaming that would make dogs turn their heads to the noise.

And that’s why I’ll keep wearing a mask, if only to save my hearing. The larger point, however, is why we’re allowing the self-professed Mask Police to dictate how we act, whether it be indirect action like me wearing a mask to avoid confrontation or direct action like punching them in the nose. They are nothing short of bullies, and I’ll bet more than a few of them talk at length about online bullying because, well, zero self-awareness.

But it’s all about personal responsibility, right? To a point, yes, but not to the point the Mask Police take it. With the Internet, we have access to tons of information we might not otherwise have, and a good chunk of that is personal. A post on Facebook here, a mildly controversial statement there, and before you know it, you’re worse than Hitler. And if you think I’m exaggerating to make a point, I only wish I were. There are news reports by the thousands of people being harassed offline for actions and sentiments taken online, and it’s not just the Trump fans, either. We have reached a point where we run right for the nukes when all we need is a fly-swatter all because we think we’re right to do it.

But here’s where I part ways. In some cases, it’s necessary to expose a scumbag so others know about it and can take or demand action be taken to rectify it. But not everyone is a scumbag. Yes, not your BLM-loving sister-in-law or your Trump-loving cousin, and certainly not a complete stranger you ran into at the Shop-N-Save. You have to know your boundaries, and I’m afraid the Karens and Kevins of the world don’t.

That’s where we come in. As much as I don’t like to start conflict, it’s come to the point where I feel I have to step in to deescalate these situations or at least take the heat off the person being targeted. Because even though I wear a mask, it doesn’t mean I’m excused from duty when a situation gets heated. If I want to live my life without harming others, I have to allow others to do the same and stand up when someone is harming someone else.

That includes you, Mask Police. Nobody appointed you to this task, so you have no authority unless I give it to you. I’m masking up so you won’t have to find out what happens when I dig in for a fight, but don’t think I’ll knuckle under if you overstep your authority. Let me put it this way, in the words of a great philosopher.

Don’t start none, won’t be none.

In the Meme Time

Well I’m trying to make a come back to my own blog here. So I’m going to do one of my favorite subjects to write about. Leftist Memes.

The internet and social media are full of these. And they are a great source of material that needs to be addressed. So that’s what I’m going to do with this one.

First of all this meme says that some segment of the population of the United States has been propagandized into believing something that isn’t true. So we will first look at that:

(from Wikipedia)
Propaganda is communication that is primarily used to influence an audience and further an agenda, which may not be objective and may be selectively presenting facts in order to encourage a particular synthesis or perception, or using loaded language in order to produce an emotional rather than a rational response to the information that is being presented. Propaganda is often associated with material which is prepared by governments, but activist groups, companies, religious organizations, the media, and individuals also produce propaganda.

In the 20th century, the term propaganda was often associated with a manipulative approach, but historically, propaganda has been a neutral descriptive term.

A wide range of materials and media are used for conveying propaganda messages, which changed as new technologies were invented, including paintings, cartoons, posters, pamphlets, films, radio shows, TV shows, and websites. More recently, the digital age has given rise to new ways of disseminating propaganda, for example, bots and algorithms are currently being used to create computational propaganda and fake or biased news and spread it on social media.

Given that definition the Meme is incorrect. Because the whole rest of it’s message is based on it. And it also has some nonsense stuff in it as well.

Not a single person who is against universal (government ran) healthcare or free (government paid) college is against it because they don’t think that the United States can have it. On the contrary we know that it’s just a vote away in Congress.

We are against it for rational reasons. The government has no money to pay for these things that cost money. And is currently paid for by the consumer who gets to choose where they go for healthcare and what college they attend.

If the government starts paying for them, it’s through higher taxes. And per our Constitution. Well this isn’t the job of government so they have no business raising taxes to pay for these services.

Then there is paid vacations and paid maternity leave. In those “other countries”. These too are paid for by the government through oppressive taxes and legislation that is socialist and communist in nature. Again we know this is but a vote away. But Here again. The government shouldn’t be in this aspect of business either. Per the Constitution.

The US Constitution is very specific on what the government is supposed to be doing. And anything that isn’t mentioned is left to the States or the people. Period. No compromise or wiggle room here.

If you don’t like what your employer offers for these two items. Get another employer or become one and offer them yourself to your employees.

Multiple political parties is a funny one. There are multiple political parties in the Unites States right now. So what’s the point? The other of the Meme is referring to additional parties that actually are electable. That takes two factors. Grass Roots and money. You want a 3rd party with clout. Make it so. Only your wallet size and energy are stopping you.

Leftist Lexicon Word of the Week

If you’re a news junkie, last week was a coke-fueled Charlie Sheen-esque bender. Between the ongoing hostilities between Israel and Narnia…I mean Palestine, hackers halting production and causing a gas shortage on the East Coast, and Caitlyn Jenner being, well, Caitlyn Jenner, one man rose to the top of my list of topics to cover: Dr. Anthony Fauci.

Dr. Fauci is a divisive figure in the field of medicine, but with the Left he is a golden boy who can do no wrong. (I’ll get into the reason why later, so stay tuned.) Sure, he has his critics, but the Left is able to excuse the alleged transgressions and treat him as the most credible person on Earth regarding COVID-19. Whether the rest of us should put as much faith in him…well, let’s just say there’s enough material to craft a Leftist Lexicon entry.

Dr. Anthony Fauci

What the Left thinks it means – a world-renowned infectious disease expert, a man of science

What it really means – an indecisive medical expert who loves the limelight more than the science

I know I’m speaking heresy here, but I’ve been following Dr. Fauci’s advice about COVID-19 from the start. As a fan of science myself, I paid attention to his briefings and really tried to digest what he said. That is, of course, until the advice he gave started flying in the face, or rather mask, of common sense. At first, he said masks weren’t effective. Then, he said they were. Now, he’s even suggesting wearing double masks. As much as I like to follow the science, it’s hard when the science careens in wild directions like a drunk Super Ball.

Of course, the Left chalks this up to the science changing rapidly. They have a point, but only to a point. With something as tricky as COVID-19, the science is bound to change rapidly as new data become available. Having said that, these changes typically don’t happen from one speech to the next…in the same day…and without alerting people (namely, the audience) to the change. An inflexible boilerplate speech regarding a global pandemic isn’t a good look.

That’s where the Left comes in. No matter what Dr. Fauci says that contradicts himself or other scientific sources, the Left treats it as gospel. Ironic, given how hostile the Left is to organized religion…or is it?

Ever since global warming became a thing back in the 1990s thanks to Al Gore, the Left has deified science to the point it cannot be challenged without being called a non-believer. What do they call people who question the “science” of global climate change? Aside from “people who didn’t flunk science like the climate change cultists did,” they’re called “science-deniers.” Now, I’ve always found this to be a misnomer because I know of very few people who deny science. Maybe they have a different opinion or place a different value on it, but not too many people out-and-out deny science.

By the same token, though, it’s also a pretty big tell that the Left has turned science into a religion, if not a cult that would make L. Ron Hubbard salivate. You know, if he were alive and stuff. But it’s funny to me to watch Leftists mock people of faith for believing what they consider to be silly and unfounded ideas while these same Leftists hang on every word Dr. Fauci says like it’s manna from Heaven.

And that’s where the “Party of Science” goes off the rails. The major problem with putting science on a pedestal is the fact…now hear me out here…it can be wrong and/or corrupted. Science at its best is bound by human understanding, and a lot of the time our understanding lags well behind the science, causing a lot of bad ideas under the guise of scientific fact. World history and more than a few graveyards are full of examples of what can happen if we’re not putting on our thinking caps and our morality pants before trying something we think will be cool.

And I think we’re on the verge of making that mistake again. Not that I think Dr. Fauci is a quack, mind you. The problem I have is putting so much faith (and, yes, it is faith, possibly of the blind variety) in what he says that we stop thinking for ourselves and questioning ideas that don’t seem to make sense. At worst, we raise questions that get answered honestly and factually, which pretty much eliminates much of the “Party of Science.” Anything beyond that is gravy. Hard science is built on the foundation of challenging ideas and finding a better understanding of the world around us. Anyone who professes love for science but hates to have it questioned when it doesn’t make sense may be entrenched in the Cult of Science or covering up for mistakes they know they’ve made.

I’m looking right at you, Michael “Hockey Stick Graph” Mann.

But let’s give Dr. Fauci the benefit of the doubt and not paint him with the same brush as Al Gore’s number-fudging buddy. Let’s look at his track record with COVID-19.

On second thought, I’m sure his acolytes and he would appreciate that we not do that because it shows he wasn’t always following the science. Instead, it seemed like he was following the politics. When the Left said we didn’t need to wear masks, he said we didn’t need to wear masks. When the Left said COVID-19 wasn’t that big a deal, Fauci agreed. Once the Left’s tune changed (i.e. when they figured out how to blame Donald Trump for their incompetence while trying to memory-hole their own statements), Fauci’s did, too. And let’s be clear, the Left wasn’t following the science; they were following their typical political mantra, “Orange Man Bad.” We can criticize the way President Trump handled the COVID-19 situation, but we will be doing a grave disservice if we don’t include those who contributed to the lack of trust in the science.

And that includes Dr. Fauci.

The fact such a prominent medical figure can be so publicly contradictory without his credibility taking a bigger hit than the aforementioned Mr. Sheen at the aforementioned coke binge is a mystery to me, but remember the Left doesn’t think about the long term, just what they can get away with in the short term. With Dr. Fauci, they got a walking contradiction that they could spin into an appeal to authority complete with a doctor’s coat and a semi-impressive CV. The fact he could be turned into an anti-Trump cudgel was a bonus. And with grown adults fawning over him like teenagers at a BTS concert, I’m guessing the good doctor doesn’t mind the attention because he typically works under thankless conditions.

At what cost, however? Sure, the action figures and the “Fauci Ouchie” Twitter posts are neat, but at some point, that attention is going to fade and Dr. Fauci will become just another old white man in a lab coat that the Left will pretend not to know. If you’re reading this, Dr. Fauci (and I know you are because, why not), remember Cindy Sheehan? That could be you in a few months.

I hope you like ditches, Doc…

My 2021 Commencement Address

We’ve reached that time of year when high schools, colleges, community colleges, clown and barber colleges, etc., look for speakers to address their respective graduating classes of 2021. Although I have put out feelers, I haven’t gotten any responses about whether I could join the ranks of such luminaries as Hillary Clinton, George W. Bush, and Honker, the Horny Clown. (Granted, that last one is quite a get.) Even so, I am pleased to share the commencement address I would have given.

To the Class of 2021

Congratulations on making it this far in your lives. It’s only a matter of time before you begin new chapters in your lives, but before then, the kind folks at [insert name of academic institution] here asked me to share a bit of whimsy and wisdom. Plus, the money they offered was really nice.

Then again, why should you listen to me? After 2020, conventional wisdom and honest whimsy are both as endangered as the 14-Toed Albino Antarctic Snow Sloth. In fact, the last one got slaughtered while I was telling you about it. To be fair, though, I should have lead with that, so my bad!

And by now I’m sure someone out there already bored with my speech has Googled it and found out there is no such animal as the 14-Toed Albino Antarctic Snow Sloth and is already Tweeting it to their friends and family, as well as posting it on Instagram to tell people how dumb and dishonest I am. Well, remember what I said about the lack of whimsy? Yeah, that’s what I mean.

For all of the information we have at our fingertips, we have lost some of the most important data about how to survive in the modern world. In my line of work, there are three things you need to learn to take: a joke, criticism, and a punch. So far, I haven’t had to deal with that third one yet, but I have had plenty of opportunities to take a joke and criticism, sometimes from the same people.

First, let’s talk about taking a joke. I know the definition of comedy these days has been expanded to include unfunny socially-conscious material and revised to exclude funny not-so-socially-conscious material. But that’s not the point of comedy at all. The point was, is, and should be to make people laugh, thus…entertaining them. Even if the joke is the worst Dad Joke you’ve ever heard, it’s going to make someone else happy. And last time I checked, happy people tend not to do bad things, like shoot up schools, do or deal drugs, or, God forbid, buy another Nickelback album.

Don’t feel bad about laughing at a joke, especially one at your own expense, because it’s good for you! Science has shown when we laugh, the brain produces chemicals to help us relieve tension and feel good. And who am I to deny science, right?

Seriously, though, there are more than a few of you out there who need to lighten up, like, a lot! You have a lot on your plates worrying about the future of the planet, trying to prevent racism, sexism, et cetera-ism, and even finding a job right now, but it’s not healthy to worry all the time. Let’s face it, your generation’s role model, Greta Thunberg, is a slightly cheerier Scandinavian Sylvia Plath. Now, before you “How Dare You” me into oblivion, let me point out it doesn’t look like she’s having much fun protecting the planet. Surely there’s a happy medium between being super-concerned about the environment and being more laid back than Matthew McConaughey. And part of it starts when you realize one of Greta’s middle names is Tintin, which is also the name of a cartoon character. Believe me, I’ve been laughing my butt off since I found that out, and it also makes her serious policy statements a lot more entertaining.

But comedy isn’t just about entertainment. Great humor can also be informative, as we can see through the works of Mark Twain, George Carlin, and the opinion section of the New York Times. Granted, the Times’ humor is mostly unintentional, but we can still learn a lot from reading it. Namely, how being “woke” doesn’t make your opinions any less crappy or uninformed. And if you’ll notice, I didn’t mention “The Daily Show” in the mix of great humor, which is because it is neither funny nor informative. I firmly believe Trevor Noah is a giant Sominex that has gained sentience and a network contract.

And that brings us to one more aspect of taking a joke: humor is subjective. Everyone’s sense of humor is different, so just because you don’t find it funny doesn’t make it unfunny. That’s why “Friends” was on the air for so long, and it’s why I stopped watching it after I got bored. Who is wrong in that situation? No one. It simply means there is room for debate, as there is in most cases. And it doesn’t mean our opinions won’t change over time and we might enjoy the humor we missed in our younger days. Dismissing a person for not having the same sense of humor we have is like…oh, I don’t know…disowning relatives for not voting for a candidate we like.

The second take we need to consider is taking criticism. The first thing to remember when taking criticism is to figure out the intent of the criticism. From there, you can determine whether to take it seriously or toss it aside like a Jonas Brothers CD. The second thing to remember, and I’m going to say this with as much emphasis as I can…WORDS ARE NOT VIOLENCE. Just because someone doesn’t agree with your statement doesn’t mean they’re punching you in the face. It simply means they think your ideas are crap.

And if you’re even twice as smart as I was when I was your age, it definitely means your ideas are crap.

Now, before you “Okay Boomer” me into oblivion, let me point out a couple of things. First, I’m a Gen Xer, which means the only Apple products we got started on were of the IIE variety. That’s not an iPhone, iPad, or laptop. That was a computer they used to put on a metal shelf with rollers so it could be transported without anyone getting a hernia. If you think things are horrible now, try lugging around an actual boom box longer than the distance between your shoulder blades.

Second, everybody’s ideas at this age are crap. It’s a rite of passage that comes with being book smart (or at least YouTube smart) without being life smart. After a couple of years outside the protective bubble of academia, you start to learn how the world works and where you fit in the grand scheme of things. And, no matter how many TikTok videos you make and how many likes they get, you will probably be a cog in the machine for a while.

So, you have that to look forward to.

To be fair, there may be one or two of you out there who will make a go of it, so you’re not all doomed to a fate of permanent mediocrity; just most of you. And that’s okay! It doesn’t mean you will be mediocre all of your lives. It just means you have to get and keep realistic expectations. There will be a number of years when you’re going to live paycheck to paycheck and student loan payment to student loan payment, and that is when your life education truly begins. You will screw up and fail a lot, but if you didn’t, the education you’re getting wouldn’t be worth much. The ones who have an easy time of it are usually the ones you find out die of a drug overdose after graduation or whose lives go right down the crapper once they lose the protection school gives them.

Okay, enough of the doom and gloom. Let’s get to the uplifting, inspirational part of the speech, okay?

At least you don’t have leprosy.  And if you do have leprosy…you’ll get better? So, yay, I guess?

The best advice I can give you as you work your way to the middle is to find your own joy in your world. It doesn’t have to be monumental or mind-blowingly awesome, either. Something as simple as a barista getting your latte order right or making all the lights on your way home can bring you immense joy if you’re willing to allow yourselves to be happy. That’s right, kids. There are times you have to allow yourself to be happy because the world is going to heck in a handbag. Yes, I know, that’s incredibly selfish to do, but it’s important for your mental health. You don’t have to solve the world’s problems 25/8. You are allowed to take a break to recharge and get back into the fight, and a little joy never hurt anyone, while a lack of joy hurts plenty.

Who do you think is having more fun in their lives, Greta Thunberg or Matthew McConaughey? Let me give you a hint: it’s the one who appears to smoke weed like Willie Nelson at Weed-A-Palooza on 4/20 in Amsterdam. Granted, that’s an easier choice than Coke or Pepsi, but it’s not without a reason. If you take yourselves too seriously, you will wind up like Greta, and for all the wrong reasons. If you learn to chill, you will wind up like Matthew, and for all the right reasons.

And if you really want to make a positive impact on the world, introduce the former to the latter’s stash.

Thank you and congratulations!

Leftist Lexicon Word of the Week

If you’ve watched the Left as long as I have, first off, I’m sorry. Second, there are some cues when they’re going to try to advance/distort a word, idea, or concept by what phrasing they use.

This past week, the word “competent” has been thrown around like Tom Brady throwing footballs at training camp. The Left and the media (but I repeat myself) have expressed everything from not-so-subtle exhaling to sycophantic gushing over their perception of the Biden Administration as being head and shoulders above the Trump Administration. They seem pleasantly surprised at how the Biden Administration seems to know what it’s doing.

But, as we’ve seen previously, the Left loves to play with the language to make themselves look smarter, faster, and better.

competent

What the Left thinks it means – mature, intelligent, and empathic leadership shown by political leaders

What it really means – a phrase that should rarely, if ever, used to describe any Presidency

Why, yes, my general cynicism about government is coming through! How could you tell?

Seriously, though, competence isn’t normally associated with government as a whole because we’re dealing with human beings in power. The chance we’re going to get a savant in a Cabinet role is less likely than Donald Trump marrying Rosie O’Donnell. Even when we get someone reasonably intelligent in a role (see Dr. Ben Carson), the fit might not be there, which will result in a litany of mistakes.

Now, imagine that same work being done by stereotypical WalMart shoppers. That’s closer to how competent government is these days. Frightening, isn’t it? Add to that the immense number of regulations, policies, procedures, legalese, and general ideologically-driven goals, and you have a situation where even the best of intentions gets turned into the worst of bureaucracies.

In spite of the media’s best attempts to prop up Joe Biden as a good President, most people just aren’t buying it. The policy wonks, like your humble correspondent, see an Administration tackling problems like Pee Wee Herman while making somewhat manageable problems worse. And a lot of these are unforced errors, meaning they could have been prevented if someone had just taken the President aside and said, “I know what you want to do here, but it’s like letting Hunter have Charlie Sheen as his rehab partner.”

Take the border crisis, for example. Before he came into office, Joe Biden laid out a pretty clear invitation for illegal immigrants from Mexico to come on in! Then, when people took him up on his offer, the Administration was caught off-guard. I mean, how were they to know an open invitation to come here would be accepted so readily? It’s not like the President was in office for nearly half a century or anything, right?

One of the legitimate knocks against the Trump Administration was the lack of experience in important roles within the government. It seemed like President Trump handed out these roles like Planned Parenthood hands out…well, whatever it is they hand out. Now, with a new Administration, we see…exactly the same problems as the Trump Administration, but with a lot more tolerance from the Left. Seriously, who was the genius to made Pete Buttigieg Secretary of Transportation because he likes trains? I liked trains when I was 7 or 8, but I don’t put that on my resume so someone in a future Administration would put me on a short list for the Department of Transportation, or any Cabinet post for that matter. Given the nozzleheads in charge, I’m surprised Hunter Biden wasn’t put in charge of the DEA.

It’s because of the unforced errors that the Left is talking about competence with regards to the Biden Administration. The idea is to persuade you with multitude (i.e. an appeal to popularity) than to get you to think whether the Administration fits the definition. As you might have guessed, I’m pretty sure it doesn’t, if only because Obama Administration failures…I mean holdovers like Anita Dunn, John Kerry, and Jen Psaki managed to find work again after screwing up so badly.

But at least there aren’t any mean Tweets, right?

Even if you set the lowest possible bar for competence, government finds a way to limbo under it with room to spare because there is no punishment for failure. If anything, people tend to fail upward. Want proof? Who is President and Vice President right now? A two-time Presidential candidate whose mental faculties are on the decline and a Presidential candidate who dropped out before the Iowa Caucuses due to a lack of support. And people expect competence out of these two?

I mean, aside from Leftists.

I have a saying that applies in this situation: “If you have to say it, you ain’t it.” If the Biden Administration or its stenographers in the media have to keep telling us the Administration is competent, it’s a clear sign it’s not (oh, and that the media are hacks). But don’t just take my word for it. Watch the Administration carefully and see if they perform at even basic levels of competency. Or you can do the DMV Test. If your local DMV works more efficiently and effectively than the federal government, there’s a problem, and Spoiler Alert it’s not a local one.

I know the Left wants to create a clear difference between the Trump Administration and the Biden Administration, but you can’t just slap a descriptor on the latter and call it a day. Government by its very nature doesn’t solve problems and expecting people who have spent a good chunk of their lives proving it and/or covering up for it to suddenly get it stretches reality like Mr. Fantastic, only less believable. When the Biden Administration does something right, I will be among the first to call it out because I’m good like that. Given what I’ve seen so far, though, I may be waiting a while. Good thing I packed a lunch!

Leftist Lexicon Word of the Week

President Joe Biden gave a joint speech before Congress last week, which I think is as close to a State of the Union Address we’re going to get from him this year. In it, the President talked about a lot of topics, some of which were actually in English, but one of them that has become a focal point is systemic racism. Much like air or pop singers who use AutoTune, systemic racism is everywhere from your local police to pancake syrup (and I wish I was joking about that last one). Yet, the Left feels confident they can combat systemic racism and win because…well, they’re Leftists!

While the Left finds systemic racism under every rock, very few are willing to tell us what it is, only where it is. So, leave it to your humble correspondent to lift the veil on this controversial topic.

systemic racism

What the Left thinks it means – when entire systems discriminate against people of color

What it really means – an easy explanation for a more complex issue

Let’s be fair here. America’s history is rife with racism, and we’re still dealing with the repercussions of that history today. And we still haven’t gotten a handle on how to address the past and make progress, at least from a governmental perspective. The Left recognizes this and has a strategy to deal with it.

1) Find the system
2) Find the racism
3) Complain about the racism
4) ?
5) Profit

Right now most of the Left’s plans to deal with systemic racism is stuck in Phase 4, but they’re still able to move to Phase 5 when it’s time to elect more Leftists. Yet, with all of the systemic racism that’s supposed to be out there, why it is the systems themselves aren’t being torn down or reformed?

It would negatively impact Phase 5.

Politicians of all stripes love crises because they create opportunities to expand their power base, get a little more scratch from people, shore up support for ideologically-driven goals, and so on. If a problem gets resolved, though, that avenue dries up. Thus, any issue that can be exploited will be exploited until it no longer generates the desired upsides. Then, the issue mysteriously goes away! Amazing how that happens, isn’t it?

Of course, the Left has no problems taking actions that benefit themselves while giving the black community the shaft. Remember the 1994 crime bill? That resulted in higher numbers of blacks being prosecuted and incarcerated for drug-related crimes. Remember the “three strikes” sentencing initiative? That also negatively impacted the black community due to the number of repeat offenders. In fact, I can’t really point to anything the Left has advocated that has wound up helping the black community in any meaningful way over the past couple of decades. They’ll throw money at the problem, which generates votes, but doesn’t move the needle towards actual progress.

That brings us to systemic racism. It’s a nice idea in theory, at least to Leftists, because it allows people of color to blame their woes on a nameless, faceless system rather than actions taken or untaken, and it allows white Leftists to show solidarity to people of color without actually helping. And by tacking on as many systems as possible, the concept of systemic racism will continue to live on ad nauseum. (And, no, that’s not a typo.)

Here’s the problem, though. The concept doesn’t seem to reflect the wider reality. Even with America’s racist past, our present and even our future are far removed from that past. Look around you. I’m willing to bet most of you live in integrated areas where you’re around people that don’t look like you. In some cases, there will be strife because some people haven’t gotten the memo about getting along, but most of the time, we coexist without issue. At least, that’s the impression I get from the “Coexist” bumper stickers and, oh yeah, the utter lack of violence, destruction, and general mayhem. You know, aside from Portland.

This opens up a whole lotta questions, the first one being where is the systemic racism? If it’s as extensive as the Left wants us to believe, it should be, well, everywhere. The fact we can’t see it may not be absolute proof it doesn’t exist, but it’s hard to argue it’s there if there aren’t concrete examples. If mortgage banks contribute to systemic racism (as the Left believes), there wouldn’t be as much, if any, intermingling of cultures and people of different racial backgrounds. We would be gentrified.

You know, like white Leftist neighborhoods?

That leads to more questions, each one damning the idea of systemic racism further. Think of it like a game of Jenga on the San Andreas Fault during a 4.5 earthquake. You might appear to have a strong foundation, but sooner or, well, even sooner the whole thing comes tumbling down.

That’s not going to stop the Left from making systemic racism a thing because it still leads to Phase 5, and there are enough people willing to believe it exists. Unfortunately, there’s nothing we can do to convince those who believe to look at the reality of the situation. Instead, let’s focus on what we can affect: the systems themselves. Just because systemic racism isn’t a widespread problem doesn’t mean it isn’t a problem where it exists. And right now, there’s one prominent group where systemic racism is prevalent and pervasive.

I call it the Democrat Party.

After all, they are a power structure that benefits from keeping people of color down…