Tag: us patriot act

Since the advent of COVID-19, the world has been a weird fucking place. Things that would have been inconceivable even 5-10 years ago are ho-hum today. You know, like having one of the most popular social media platforms today run by the Chinese Communist Party, allegedly. Well, now that politicians from both sides of the political aisle wanting to ban or force a sale of this social media platform, or as the kids call it TikTok, it’s time for something really, really fucked up.

I’m going to defend TikTok.

As anyone who’s read my blogs can tell you, I’m not a fan of TikTok. The popular content makes me want to rip my head off and put it in a Tupperware container in the back of my freezer until Armageddon or people get better taste in entertainment (you know, whichever comes first). There are some really creepy asshats out there making said content, too. I’m talking people you would purposely avoid if you ran into them in public because they give off a skeezy vibe. Put into geek terms, TikTok is Mos Eisley with worse music.

My defense of TikTok isn’t based on it being the second coming of the Library of Alexandria. In fact, there isn’t anything resembling intellectualism within 100 light years of TikTok. So, why am I sticking my neck out for it?

Because the proposed solution is worse than the disease.

Name a time in recent history when the federal government got more power and then voluntarily gave it up once it was no longer necessary to have it. Considering the TSA is still giving away free rectal cancer screenings with each security patdown at the airport, I’m guessing it hasn’t happened yet. But I’m sure there’s no threat of government overreach with the proposed TikTok law, right?

Not so much.

Even if the proposed law is written so narrowly as to not be misconstrued, Congresscritters will find a way to muddy the waters just enough to allow for unintended applications. Take the US PATRIOT Act, for example. Since its passage, we’ve seen what can best be called questionable applications that haven’t really moved the needle on national security. But it’s been a boon to national surveillance agencies. All you have to do is claim there’s a national security interest and you have carte blanche.

Now, consider the recent push to make white supremacist groups into domestic terrorists, even when their most violent action has been pounding beers while spouting racist rhetoric. All it takes is for one Leftist bureaucrat to consider using the PATRIOT Act against these groups and before you can say “David Duke is a doodyhead” anyone who could reasonably or unreasonably connected to these groups can be investigated.

But I’m sure the federal government wouldn’t prosecute people for relatively minor crimes because of who they support politically, right?

Damn. 0 for 2.

Anyway, the federal government’s track record on respecting our rights during times of societal outrage isn’t that good. Much like the President Brick Tamland Administration, it’s confusing, contradictory, and often muddled. I have no reason to suspect any law restricting TikTok would wind up any differently, but I have no doubt it would be abused in short order.

So, what’s the alternative. Being a big fan of the free market, you can guess where I think this TikTok situation should play out. But I would include a warning like on packs of cigarettes. Let’s try some of these on for size.

Warning: Use of TikTok is known to drop your IQ by at least 25%, and given the average fan, you can’t spare to lose any more.

Warning: The Surgeon General warns TikTok may lead to doing stupid shit for attention.

Warning: Really? You want to waste your time doing this shit?

Warning: TikTok is connected to the Chinese Communist Party, which means jack shit to you, but is really, really bad.

Warning: Have you considered going outside?

Warning: Even the best TikTok video is like taking a ball peen hammer directly to the brain pain.

Warning: There is nothing on TikTok that is worth your time.

Warning: TikTok is not recommended for the young, the old, the marginally intelligent, the pregnant, the rich, the poor, the middle class, or anyone, really.

I think you get the idea. Regardless, the free market is the best place for TikTok to succeed or fail on its own merits because letting the government make that call is a recipe for government overreach, and there are enough nozzleheads in government to make it an expensive and ineffective overreach. Remember, a good chunk of the people in favor of passing a law banning or restricting TikTok thought Obamacare was a good idea.

Now, imagine how fucking horrible TikTokcare will be.